Nothing Is Better Than Something | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to back to our happy hours, golden hour. Thank you so much for joining us today and we are so excited to be back. Susan, how are you today, your little snow bunny. How's it going?

00:00:18
Speaker 2: I'm telling you what, I'm sure couthy if that's not a workout, shoveling eight nine ten inches of snow, and it's some work. And when it was coming down yesterday or Sunday, yes, it wasn't bad. But then it got coated with ice sleep, so we're picking up boulders of ice, throwing them across the road. My back is killed.

00:00:44
Speaker 1: Sorry, get some vodka. You'll be fine. So I have to tell you, you know, I went to Lakinge to visit a friend. Came. Two things have to tell you. One this, this whole country has had pretty much had this storm. I'm stuck with my daughters because you know, I live in the hills and it's all ice. It's barely above freezing. You can't there's cars in the ditches everywhere because we don't have plows. We don't have salt except the highways, so you literally wait for to melt. So I'm cooling my heels at my daughter's house. But I just have to tell you the funniest thing. So I went to this friend in Lakitta and he had great stuff playing. We did the tram in Palm Springs, beautiful views, we did just lots of fun things. One night, though, he took me to the Purple Room, which is in Palm Springs and it's where the rat Pack used to sing. And as soon as we walked in, he doesn't like it when people recognize me. He's just a friend, by the way, not a date. He doesn't like it. Well, as soon as I walked in, the host is almost dropped. Then the made or d drop. It was not good. They all like, oh my god, you're here. So he was having a fit. So we sit down. We ordered dinner. They're sending over free appetizers, they send over a free dessert. They're asking for pictures. So we sit, we DrAk. We get up to leave and we get to the car and I said to him, well, thank you so much for dinner, and he looks at me, goes, you didn't pay, and I went, I didn't pay, you didn't pay, and he goes, I didn't pay. I said, are you serious. We walked back like four blocks to the restaurant. We walk in, the server says to me, I've been looking for you.

00:02:22
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

00:02:23
Speaker 1: I was like, I am so sorry, Like, can you imagine they've made this big to do of us, and then it looks like we're skipping out unpaid.

00:02:30
Speaker 2: Wait, can you imagine if you didn't thank him for dinner? Like, what is wrong with him? He should know to pay. He just assumed you were paying.

00:02:37
Speaker 1: You know, I took him out for dinner once, so I was I don't know, I don't know what he was thinking, but it was the funniest thing. I didn't pay, you didn't pay that we get back there, could not stop laughing. Susan could not stop.

00:02:49
Speaker 2: I thought you were going to tell me they camped the whole thing because they were saying that appetizers.

00:02:53
Speaker 1: Well, they were going to have to comp it. But I mean they had sent over drink. I mean they did more than their fair share. But I had to tell you that I was dying laughing right.

00:03:04
Speaker 2: So today, Kathy, we're gonna have a little fun. We recently did an episode where we asked each other, what's something you're tired of seeing women put up with? In relationships. Well, today we're dedicating an entire episode to that concept. Remember saying that, like we could talk.

00:03:25
Speaker 1: All day about I was gonna say, it's not just It's not just one thing. I mean, women put up with a lot. I think men sometimes do too, but I think women put up with more. Do you agree?

00:03:36
Speaker 2: I do agree, But I feel as if as we age, we put up with less.

00:03:44
Speaker 1: Oh that is for damn sure.

00:03:47
Speaker 2: That is not just with men, with anybody.

00:03:49
Speaker 1: Really. All right, let's get started. We're gonna get started with the question of the day. I can hardly wait for this episode. I'm going to start us off. Okay, why do you think women put up with such terrible male partners in relationships? And have you noticed a difference in women today versus when you were growing up or does this seem to transcend generations? All right, what do you think?

00:04:13
Speaker 2: It's a huge difference, huge because we came from our parents, right our parents were you know, I don't dare say this, but I'm going to like that the mom. Most moms didn't work. They were home, raising the kids, cleaning the house, doing all the chores, cooking all the meals, you know, taking care of everybody. And then our generation, we were taught to be our own person, make our own money. And now I look at my son and his wife. I think I mentioned this before, It might have been on this sep At that episode that he does his own laundry.

00:04:52
Speaker 1: I was like, so, I think you've hit on the second part of this question is what we're talking about right now, and that is changed. The change and that is because women. More women have careers and so they're not stay home doing everything. The chores are split more evenly, the grocery, shopping, the cooking, the childcare. It's I know in my daughter and my son, who both have children, they split it with their spouses. They do, they split, They do their own laundries, they do cookie right, they do. I agree, I don't think so. I think that is the biggest difference. But why I love the first part of this question because I think women put up with terrible male partners and relationships because they're afraid that's all they can get, right. They are not the confidence.

00:05:52
Speaker 2: And you're going to have to take all the bad that comes with them because he supposedly loves you, right, why not I feel like he and have the proper dreaming.

00:06:02
Speaker 1: Well, or that's just who he is. I don't know about you, And I've said this before. I would rather be alone than have a terrible partner.

00:06:12
Speaker 2: There's just I would What is your definition of like, where's your line? First of all? Anybody abusive that just goes without saying.

00:06:21
Speaker 1: Well, again, at my age, it's going to look it's going to look very different. I am not going to date a man who is not a gentleman, who is not opening the doors for me, who's not going to share my life, who's not financially stable, all those things. I'm not doing it. I'd rather be alone. Now, a terrible male partner, like you just said, that's a loaded word. If he's abusive, that's beyond exactly, that's beyond terrible. But I have known we had this long time ago, Susan. Do you remember it was a young woman who was living with her partner and he earns way more than she does, and he kept her pay half. Remember that. Yes, that would be a terrible male partner expecting her to contribute half when he sets the standard of living and she can't afford it. I think that's a terrible male partner. I think a terrible male partner with the internet. I think a lot of guys are checking out what else is on the internet, and girls are checking their phones because they you know, I don't know, why do you think they put up?

00:07:38
Speaker 2: Think a terrible partner is somebody that doesn't want to pitch in in the household duties, taking out the trash, cutting the lawn, like when they don't want to be involved, like that's a no go. And then slappy people.

00:07:51
Speaker 1: You know how I am, Yes, but you're saying like men should take out the trap you're doing You're you're defining male roles. No, I take out the trash when my husband was alive, I want him. If I've got a partner and you're younger, change the diapers, do the dishes, go grocery shopping, walk clean the toilet. You know, it's not it's not sexist. I'm talking about. I'm talking about a terrible male partner who it doesn't treat a woman with respect, who's shopping on the internet for another partner and for some odd ball reason they stick.

00:08:27
Speaker 2: Around and you're shopping on the internet. That's it's great.

00:08:29
Speaker 1: We didn't even say they're married a male partner. They don't even have to be married. But why are you sticking around? That would be my question. And I don't know, but I think it's women have a lack of self confidence. I know, I hear from a lot of women. You know he's not great, But have you looked to see what else is out there? So I might as well stick with this?

00:08:50
Speaker 2: Oh, I think it's really I mean, there's there's got to be a line where there's only so much you can deal with. Like you said, a man that is not polite or is rude to anybody, whether it's your server in a restaurant or anything, that's just I would never tell you never you know what is it's embarrassing to you, like you didn't even do anything, and if you're with somebody that's rude.

00:09:18
Speaker 1: I think I think everyone's got a different idea of what a terrible male partner is. I think you hit it on the head at the beginning of this question. You and I put up with a lot less at our Charence, right, yeah, and then young we do that, and we also put up with a lot less than younger people do. Young kids, yeah, I mean they don't have to, so you know, good for them.

00:09:51
Speaker 2: Now, it's time to answer some of our fan questions, which we love doing. You're ready, I'm going to start us off. Okay, this one is from an anonymous Hi, ladies, I need your help. My best friend told me something concerning, something concerning about her boyfriend, and I need to know if I was in the wrong. For context, my bestie has been with her boyfriend for almost eight years and they lived together. Over brunch this past weekend, she told me that she was using his laptop to look something up. Not uncommon. He's very open and his devices and she bars his computer all the time. Okay, Well, he left up his chat GPT conversation that started with the search, oh God, how to break up with your long term girlfriend, along with a prose and con list he had chat GPT make about her. I told her to dump him because sorry to say, but duh, but she's refusing to. He hasn't even brought it up to him yet. Now she's kind of icing me out. Did I do something wrong? I wouldn't have been so brash about it if I realized she was staying, but by the way she was talking about it, I just kind of assumed, as I think anybody would. I was supportive in the conversation, but couldn't hide how horrific that was. They're still together despite her finding this stuff over three months ago. What should I do now? First of all, yeah, First of all, I was wrong with that girl that she's not going to bring it up.

00:11:41
Speaker 1: You mean the girlfriend?

00:11:43
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:11:44
Speaker 1: Okay, two things here, number one, So again, Susan, As always, we don't have all the information we need. But if I believe, well.

00:11:56
Speaker 2: She's on his computer and chats and do you think break up?

00:12:00
Speaker 1: Do you think perhaps he left chat GBT open on purposely? On purpose? However, the one question that is missing here is I didn't, Anonymous. I did not hear your friend ask you for your opinion, and God knows whosan? You know? I'm guilty of this all the time. She didn't ask you.

00:12:21
Speaker 2: She brought it up at brun she told her what happened, but she did. If you're a girlfriend, if I'm sitting there with you, especially, that's a wrong example. If you're sitting there with me and you tell me this, Did.

00:12:34
Speaker 1: I not tell your opinion? But didn't I not tell you? I've learned in twenty twenty six, and have I not done better with you? I don't give you my opinion unless you ask. Have I not done better? I wouldn't go that far, but okay, get better? And so I don't think she asked. I think I think she just I mean, I think it's deplorable. But you know, somebody said.

00:12:53
Speaker 2: That to you and you're just going to sit there with your mouth closed and not respond.

00:12:57
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty six, I'm going to go, that really sucks. That's really sucks. If that happened to you, say, God, Susan, that sucks. But gee, do you think maybe he left it open on purpose so you'd find it. But I'm not going to say to you dump his ass. Old Kathy would have. So here's here's the deal. She's she's she wants. Wait. It begs back to our questions of the day.

00:13:22
Speaker 2: Why will you tolerate?

00:13:24
Speaker 1: What will you tolerate? In my mind, I don't really think that he's looking it up for his friend. You know, he's looking it up for him how to break up with a longtime girlfriend. It's on his computer. He probably hoped you would find it. But you know what, maybe he's cheating on her. Maybe isn't. Again, why is this girl not asking it? She doesn't want to know. Something to her is better than we think.

00:13:49
Speaker 2: Be happy living with that information.

00:13:53
Speaker 1: As the girlfriend or me?

00:13:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, as the girlfriend now as the person in the relationship. Yeah, that's the way. Anonymous. Yeah, first of all, Anonymous, I don't think you did anything wrong. You just gave your opinion.

00:14:06
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, here's the thing. The girl, the girlfriend clearly has an issue around self esteem. She's afraid to be alone. She's figuring she something's better than nothing. Exactly what we talked about, the question of the day for me, if I saw that, and you would, I would say, hey, you know what if if you left your computer open? You know, I use your computer. Is there something you want to tell me? Because what are you talking about? I pointed the computer. But you know what she wants. It's what I just said to you. She something to her is better than nothing. I'd rather have nothing than a guy who doesn't.

00:14:47
Speaker 2: Feel like an idiot. I would feel stupid staying because obviously you're trying to break up with me. Let's have a conversation.

00:14:56
Speaker 1: Wait, wait a minute. Maybe she doesn't have the money. Maybe he's helping to support her. Maybe he takes her on nice trips. Maybe he pays for the groceries. Maybe he bought her a pretty bracelet. She's hoping for something better for Valentine's Day? Who knows? What you know? Who knows?

00:15:13
Speaker 2: And the pros and cons? Maybe she should have listed her pros and cons about him and left that up on the computer exactly.

00:15:21
Speaker 1: Here's what I would say, Anonymous. What you should do nothing is absolutely nothing. Sorry. What you should do now tell her you're sorry, you shouldn't have given your opinion, and and move on to the friendship. Its best you can. She knows, she knows.

00:15:36
Speaker 2: Tell her you love her, you're her friend, and you're here to listen.

00:15:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, and you hope things work out for them. That's all.

00:15:43
Speaker 2: She can't do anything. Now. You can't fix this. It's not you, it's yeah.

00:15:48
Speaker 1: I mean, she couldn't fix it to begin with. But I just want to reiterate, Well, I believe that that girl, the girlfriend that Anonymous is talking about epitomizes the question of the day. She's willing to put up with a creep who probably has something else cooking in the kitchen because for whatever reason.

00:16:08
Speaker 2: Wonder why she's icing her out.

00:16:10
Speaker 1: Like she doesn't want to hear the truth she don't want to hear. She doesn't want to hear it. She knows we all know in our heart of heart, Susan, we all know the truth. We don't want to hear it sometimes, So okay, let's move on, all right.

00:16:24
Speaker 2: Thank you for writing in it.

00:16:25
Speaker 1: Good for her? Yeah, good luck, Anonymous. I hope your friendship survives this. Okay. Question number two is also from an anonymous person. Hi, ladies, I need to know if you think I went too far in some breakup event. I was dating my now X for two years. A few weeks ago, he got arrested and put in jail because his RA found some substances in his bedroom and called campus security. For anybody who doesn't know what an RA is, it's a resident adviser and there that like the ones in charge of the dorms. Okay, my parents helped me post his bail, I got him out, helped him get connected with a lawyer, and am in the process of helping him get it off his record. Well. Last night I was over at his place to make dinner while he was at the gym. I was using his iPad for a recipe I needed when I saw a text come in. It was from the girl I caught him cheating on me with last semester, and it said let me know when I'm in the clear to come over. So naturally, I took all his clothes out of his drawers brought them to one of the campus fountains. Wait, naturally she did this. Naturally, brought them to one of the campus fountains with my best friend and set them all on fire safely. I also called it my parents' lawyer he was using and told him his services were no longer needed. And I maybe also called his parents and told them everything that was going on. I'm sure he's pissed off, but I wouldn't know because I blocked him. Some of our mutual friends have blocked me on social media because they think I went too far. What do you think? Lol? Love you guys. Susan's got her mouth gaping wide open. I'm gonna let you take a shot at this one. What do you think she go too far?

00:18:12
Speaker 2: Girlfriend?

00:18:13
Speaker 1: I think you're right, man, Now my mouth is gaping open.

00:18:19
Speaker 2: Why you think she's getting the sneaky woman wanted to come in? Let me know when the coast is clear.

00:18:24
Speaker 1: When she's there. Wait a minute, you think, Anonymous beating him with a bat. Oh my god, Susan, Just when I thought you and I were on the same page for life, Anonymous, Kathy over here thinks, a few weeks ago, he got arrested, he had weed or whatever he had in his bedroom. The parents, her parents got him out of jail, put up bail. No, that's a hard no. I got him out, helped him get connected with the Luyre. That's a hard no. He can figure out his own life. Then you were over at his place. Oh, and you're also You are also in the process of helping it get it off his record. Let him worry about that too. Then now you're over at his house cooking him dinner. You my friend, Anonymous. I'm sure if I met you, I would love you. But you are so needy. You need a bad boy, and you instead of letting him face his own music, get himself out of jail, post his own bail, and figure out his own damn life. You're over there.

00:19:29
Speaker 2: Some people, Kathy, do help the people they love. They do. Some people are our fixers and try to do everything. And I would do the same thing. Well, totally get what she's doing.

00:19:39
Speaker 1: What she did, He can get his own lawyer. If she can get a lawyer, he can get a lawyer. Her parents post a bail from let your parents, let the boyfriend's parents boast both.

00:19:48
Speaker 2: He didn't want his parents to know.

00:19:50
Speaker 1: It well, and that's why, that's why she is putting up with a boyfriend that I would never Now, she.

00:19:58
Speaker 2: Didn't know she was putting up with anything until this.

00:20:01
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, she called his parents so she she knew he didn't want his parents to know, so she had. It's it's called what is it called when you help someone out? I can't think of the word, and thank you. That would be the word, susan enabling, thank you so much.

00:20:15
Speaker 2: But I don't think this was enabling because they were in a relationship.

00:20:19
Speaker 1: It is enabling. He needs to figure out his own problems.

00:20:24
Speaker 2: Get your parents parents, that knew somebody like it's just easier.

00:20:30
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's making it different way. But go on, I would never have done any of that. And then and you know why, and you know why she knew.

00:20:39
Speaker 2: I would have wrote the girl back, and you know why.

00:20:42
Speaker 1: You know why she knew. You know why.

00:20:45
Speaker 2: It's clear and I would answer the door.

00:20:49
Speaker 1: See you and I are so different. I if I saw that on the podcast, I mean on the podcast on his computer, iPad whatever, I would take his clothes. I would, I would take myself out of the house. I would walk home. I would block him, and I would never speak to him again. It would be that's it.

00:21:11
Speaker 2: No conversation.

00:21:12
Speaker 1: Oh god, well there might be a conversation. I would say, hey, I saw that you wanted a girlfriends, So we're over burning his clothes in a fountain. It's juvenile, Anonymous.

00:21:24
Speaker 2: Feel good?

00:21:25
Speaker 1: Do you seriously see nothing wrong with that? Oh?

00:21:28
Speaker 2: I think it's funny. Okay, a woman's scoring man. Don't cheat on me, passhole, after all the things I did for you? Fuck you? Sorry? Nope, nope, nope, nope. And I'm glad she called his parents, but that you could take care of them, that.

00:21:47
Speaker 1: They should have been caring for their son the whole time they're in college.

00:21:50
Speaker 2: No, because he didn't want and.

00:21:52
Speaker 1: And obviously she played along, she played along with it. It never comes any good. I'm sorry, those situations never come to any good. And I'm sorry, Anonymous, but you know what, grow up. I'm going to tell you, grow up.

00:22:08
Speaker 2: And just wanted to know our opinion of what we thought.

00:22:11
Speaker 1: I said. If you went you didn't go too far. You went so far over the cliff, Anonymous, that you're you're gonna be on him gliding for twenty hours to get to ground you cat.

00:22:21
Speaker 2: But Susan, here is like giving you a bravo that made you feel better. Go for it. It's all over now. Move on.

00:22:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the other thing. Keep him blocked. Move on. Break Up revenge should not even be a thing. By the way, is it a thing for you, Susan? Break up revenge?

00:22:41
Speaker 2: No, I don't do revenge. I told you now. I'm friends with everybody.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: All right, So you would never. So I don't understand. We're got to move on. But I truly don't understand why you're applauding her burning his clothes. You would never.

00:22:55
Speaker 2: Because he was cheating.

00:22:57
Speaker 1: Cats, have you ever had someone cheat on you?

00:23:01
Speaker 2: Only when I was very, very very young.

00:23:03
Speaker 1: And these people are very very young, they're in college. I don't know. I'm sorry, I just I don't see it.

00:23:10
Speaker 2: If this one's funny, burning is closed, I know that would torture. Really all right, we're gonna do rappid fire advice.

00:23:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we're gonna I just have to tell you, I may never call that question. It's gonna go when next time someone says to me, what is the biggest question that you and Susan disagreed on? That that one's going to be framed.

00:23:32
Speaker 2: In my Office's okay, all right, seriously, one more thing. I definitely would have coaxed that text that was coming in said come now, sweetheart, oh dear, yes, and we both be sitting there when he walked in. That would give me more pleasure than burning clothes. What are you going to do? Now?

00:23:54
Speaker 1: But see, I just that takes so much effort, Susan, I wouldn't want to put the effort into that.

00:23:59
Speaker 2: I'd rather go what effort is that your yeah, come now.

00:24:03
Speaker 1: And then sitting and making him deal with it? I just walk out, take my self respect, and walk out the door. We are going to end off on a little segment called rapid fire advice. Susan's answered, all these are burn your clothes. Okay. We'll switch off reading the prompts, and we'll give each excuse me. Will will each give the first piece of advice that comes to mind. I'll start us off here we go, your best friend tells you her boyfriend has screenshots of your Instagram saved on his phone.

00:24:39
Speaker 2: What do you say your best friend tells you.

00:24:44
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend Susan. Let me make this simple, Frederic, I tell you that Frederic has screenshots of me on his Instagram, saved on his phone, not on his Instagram, pictures of me saved on his phone. What are you gonna say?

00:24:59
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, you're my friend.

00:25:02
Speaker 1: I don't care, all right, you don't care.

00:25:06
Speaker 2: I didn't look at it like it was a bad thing.

00:25:08
Speaker 1: I mean, I think if it was a picture of me from the beach or something, we were there, fine. But if if you see on Frederic's phone a bunch of pictures of some other girl saved on the screen shots screenshots, not not my Instagram pulled up. They's got screenshots from my Instagram and he's got them saved on his phone. You don't think that's a little weird.

00:25:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's probably a little weird. I don't know that one didn't get me that.

00:25:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd lose him too. I'm telling you. My thing to tell you is Loucy. These men, and I wonder why I'm not dating all right, all right.

00:25:46
Speaker 2: Here's one. Your friend just found out the guy she's dating still Venmos his ex for coffee advice.

00:25:56
Speaker 1: No still coffee advice, No, still Venmo's his ex for coffee for coffee, meaning they go out for coffee together. My advice lose. My advice is lose the guy. If he's dating somebody else and having coffee with his ex, she's not his ex friend.

00:26:18
Speaker 2: Offload him and see I think differently because Dicky and I will go have a cup of coffee.

00:26:23
Speaker 1: And that's a differend. Susan, you were married, and you don't hide that from Frederic. That's not what I'm of course not Well, your friends just found out. They they just found out. I don't know.

00:26:38
Speaker 2: I don't get he. Is he just giving money so she could have coffee?

00:26:44
Speaker 1: I don't care. That's just weird. It's again, offload him an ex, whether he's buying her coffee, giving her money for coffee, or or the Venmo that says for coffee is really for sex and he just writes his for coffee. I don't care any God that's dealing with his X. I'm not interested in. Goodbye. All right, here's the.

00:27:05
Speaker 2: Next right, take the next one.

00:27:07
Speaker 1: Your friend says her partner doesn't believe in labels? After six months? What do you tell her?

00:27:16
Speaker 2: Oh, that's the same for you.

00:27:19
Speaker 1: You know what? I tell her nothing? She didn't ask me. I don't care. What did we care? You don't want to label and put a label on it.

00:27:25
Speaker 2: I don't care for the label on it?

00:27:26
Speaker 1: Who cares?

00:27:27
Speaker 2: That means I'm free?

00:27:31
Speaker 1: I mean that's different. I tell if you don't want to don't you don't want to label?

00:27:35
Speaker 2: Your friend's boyfriend liked her best friend's bikini picture from twenty eighteen at two am? What's your take?

00:27:46
Speaker 1: Why the hell did you know that he was up at two am looking at her picture? You're going through his phone. That's my I stopped going through the phone.

00:27:53
Speaker 2: People that go in and see who likes what? Don't you have a life?

00:27:59
Speaker 1: There's It all goes back to the question of the day. These women do not trust themselves. They don't have enough self confidence. Why would you stick with a guy who's up at two am? Why are you checking his phone? You're checking his phone because you don't trust him. Your best friend's bikini pick from two to eight to two thousand and eight.

00:28:19
Speaker 2: Did she's not checking his phone? She saw this? I guess online. Your friend's boyfriend liked her best friend's bikini picture from twenty eighteen, and he liked it at two as all.

00:28:32
Speaker 1: That Susan liked it at high noon?

00:28:35
Speaker 2: Why does what's your take?

00:28:37
Speaker 1: My take is, why is he liking If you just don't mess around with exes, you don't like their pictures, you delete them from your phone.

00:28:48
Speaker 2: It's her best friend again, boyfriends, your friend's boyfriends.

00:28:55
Speaker 1: Can I just say what this episode is proving I'm single forever? I swear okay forever? All right? Your friend found a hidden folder. Here we go on her partner's phone again, going through the phone. Your friend found a hidden folder on her partner's phone labeled receipts with screenshots of texts from her. What do you tell her to do?

00:29:19
Speaker 2: Your friendly.

00:29:24
Speaker 1: Text shots? Listen? These are all These are all variations on a theme. It's a friend. There's three people involved here, usually a partner, a partner's partner, and then a third person. So your friend found a hidden folder on her partner's phone labeled receipts with screenshots of texts from her, not from the girlfriend or the other from her again? Number one, what do you tell her to do get off his phone and dump him to the curb. Yeah, thank god. I mean, it's just it's just it's all the same.

00:30:00
Speaker 2: If you therefore non trusting relationship, nothing is going to be good if you have to go spy. I know, curiosity sometimes takes over, but it's just stupid.

00:30:12
Speaker 1: Is it curiosity or is it what you just said.

00:30:14
Speaker 2: If you don't have trust, it's a non trust.

00:30:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's non trust. And that's why these relationships don't work, because you know, if it smells like fire, looks like a dog, whatever those expressions are, it's going to burn. It's going to burn, all right.

00:30:30
Speaker 2: Okay, your friend says her situation situationship introduced her as my friend at a party. That's happened. Well, and it feels awkward. You're in a situationship. You're with a guy that you think you're dating. I mean, yours are our thing. And he says at a party and introduced you as my friend. Well, they are friends. Yeah I've said that. Then I've been called on it too.

00:31:07
Speaker 1: Well, you know again, here be back to labels. My advice is, if you don't like being labeled a friend, then figure out what the situation of the situationship is all right? Your friend's partner says they don't post her because they're private, but they post everything else. What do you say, I've actually had this friends that have had this happen to.

00:31:35
Speaker 2: Your friend's partner okay.

00:31:38
Speaker 1: Says they don't post her. In other words, the part you're getting confused with the pronounce the partner doesn't post pictures of the person because he says their relationship is private, but that person posts everything else. What do you say?

00:31:56
Speaker 2: There's a reason why do you have me a secret?

00:31:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a reason, girl friend, Your friends they him he whatever however you label yourself, there's a reason why. Ask why? And you know what. The running theme of today is you might want to be considering do you want to stay in the situation of this situationship where your partner may not be your holy partner? Oh?

00:32:22
Speaker 2: Good luck with that.

00:32:24
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:32:24
Speaker 2: Your friend caught her boyfriend the leting text as she walked into the room. What's your advice?

00:32:31
Speaker 1: But I know what, Susan, I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna see you there for thirty freaking days. Pull it up, bitch, Let me see what you knew you were going to say that. Susan's going to say, go to those three dots and undo delete messages. I'm going to say let it go because if your partner is cheating on you, you're going to find it out for sure. He might be the idlete texts all the time. So it's it's you know, not everything is somebody cheating on you, really, you know.

00:33:05
Speaker 2: If you if you know, it's just delete and crap.

00:33:08
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, if you're buying your ex then ruin your X for coffee, that might be your ven for you know, sexual favors. But if they're deleting texts, wait, wait for a little more proof, just you know, wait for a little more all right, geez, all right. Your friend says her partner follows three hundred thirst trap oh, three hundred plus thirst traps, but never compliments her. What do you say? Do you know what a thirst trap is? Okay, So a thirst trap I to look it up. It's something on social media. It's a social media post intended to entice viewers sexually. Okay, So her partner fond, so he's looking at sexual uh sexual post that invites sexual Yeah, okay, what do you say?

00:33:57
Speaker 2: He never liked the guy that likes to go to the strip club. But maybe that's what turns him on. If he's not hiding it, I guess it's okay.

00:34:03
Speaker 1: I don't know. He never compliments her, but he's but he's he follows three hundred. That means he's got thirst traps all over his Instagram, Oliver, his phone, but.

00:34:13
Speaker 2: He's But does he compliment them or he's just selling them?

00:34:17
Speaker 1: I don't care. He never compliments her? Again, what.

00:34:25
Speaker 2: He's going to put yourself?

00:34:27
Speaker 1: Now? Why are you going to ask a man that if if he isn't treated so.

00:34:30
Speaker 2: You rather cut and dry, no explanation, You just leave the scene where I want to talk about it.

00:34:37
Speaker 1: Well, because that's exactly what I said for the last question. This your partner friend is giving you other hints If he's just following three hundred thirst traps, if that's all he's doing, so he's got a fetish whatever.

00:34:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.

00:34:54
Speaker 1: But but if he's never complimenting you, he might be taking it to another level. You look at the relationship.

00:35:01
Speaker 2: Well, just because you're following doesn't mean he's complimenting them. He's just not a complimenting regud.

00:35:07
Speaker 1: It's intended to entice them. If he's following them, he's reading them, he's looking at them, he might well be interacting with them. I mean, I don't. I would show him the door. But that's just me. I mean, I keep saying the same thing to you.

00:35:23
Speaker 2: Okay, your friend is considering moving in with someone she's never argued with. Advice.

00:35:33
Speaker 1: I think they're gonna, you know what, move in. You're you're gonna have your first argument very soon after. Okay, so what did you think about this game? You know, Honestly, this whole episode, I've repeated myself twenty six times. I'm gonna say it one more time. I think this whole episode is about not necessarily women, but I think unfortunately it's more with women that men having not having self confidence. Instead, they try to make excuses, They post bail, they get lawyers, they try to get things taken off their records. They try to fix their fixers. Women need to stop being fixers. Take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness, and let your partner if it's a guy, whatever.

00:36:20
Speaker 2: Don't deny yourself. I mean, you're worth it. Keep believe that that you are worth more.

00:36:27
Speaker 1: Well. But Susan, if you believe you're worth more, you have to take action, which is not putting up with disrespectful bag.

00:36:35
Speaker 2: I agree, and I'm now depressed.

00:36:37
Speaker 1: Because I'm never going to have a date ever again.

00:36:41
Speaker 2: I mean really, And that does it for today's episode. Thank you so much to everyone that's listening, and I think you guys out there listening probably agreed with us.

00:36:52
Speaker 1: Well, you agree with one of us for sure, because we're on opposite ends. Listen while you're working on your fabulous relationships and building up your own self esteem. Please be sure to keep sending us all your questions and comments. It's easy to just go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away. We really want to hear with We want to hear from you. Susan and I are most likely going to be on opposite ends at the table here, so you're going to get act.

00:37:18
Speaker 2: We agree. Great. Make sure to listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast, and we'll see you next time.

00:37:28
Speaker 1: Take care,