Redefining Modern Womanhood w/ Karen Pitttman

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Calling all my sweetish to the forefront. I'm your host, christ and this is the Keep It Positive, Sweetie Show. Our guest this week has been in our minds, but after the Netflix series Forever, she is forever seeming it in our hearts. Kiss Finley, please give a very warm welcome to Karen Pittman. Karen, thank you so much. I'm sorry for all the technical difficulties this morning. No, thank you for your patience. You look absolutely stunning, So Bai, thank you.

00:00:29
Speaker 2: It's a drive in trying so hard to get to keep it positive, sweetie, do you know what I mean.

00:00:35
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try so hard to get out here. I know. I remember we met each other about two years ago at Essence Swimming of Hollywood and you were in the line with Chantal and I had just started watching the morning show and I was like, oh my goodness. I was like, it's Karen Pittman and Chantala introduced us and I was so excited to meet you and you are just the first time I watched the show and you came across the screen, I was like, who is this woman? You literally radiated through the screen. You really do. Oh.

00:01:05
Speaker 2: I'm so glad it's a really good show. It's a good platform for the stories that I like to tell. And you know how important it is to surround yourself with people who really want to do the thing you want to do. It also will run at the pace right run, and these folks are keeping up pace that I like to tell stories at. And it's a real gift to be on the show. Excited for you to see season four because you.

00:01:34
Speaker 1: Cannot wait, so excited, cannot wait. What was it an early age that really drove you to the arts? It made you want to pursue acting and singing.

00:01:47
Speaker 2: I think, really it was it was a strong desire to self express. I don't think it was any nobody in my family had this desire, had this need as much as I did. And I was one of those young girls with big feelings, like big feelings like no one knew how to help me process any of the stuff that I was going through. No one knew how to talk me down, no one knew how to how to get me out of my moods. And it was really about going into that bad space as a child and into my imagination. It was imagination work, and that's some of the most important work I think that children do when they just have time to play.

00:02:36
Speaker 1: You know.

00:02:36
Speaker 2: Part of the challenge with technology and devices is that children don't experience those that other side and the other emotional side that we try to keep them away from. Happiness and oh everyone's joyful, and actually there's there's aspects to life that you contend with emotionally that are a little dark. Yeah, And as a child, you build up emotional resilience, right, And for me, I did that at a very early age. I was just born with a lot of big feelings. So singing and acting was my It was my way of processing some of it. And my parents just left me alone to go do it.

00:03:15
Speaker 1: I love it. Were you an only child, No, I have.

00:03:18
Speaker 2: Four other siblings and there they could be actors, do you know what I mean? They're not, yeah, because they have their own drama. But it was a big family. It was a family of seven.

00:03:30
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:03:32
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And we're all still close. But have you know our paths I've diverged and my brother, my eldest sister and my brother lived in Nashville. Uh yeah, yeah, family.

00:03:49
Speaker 1: My sister just got her doctor. She also works in the hill field as well. And yeah, oh wow, she went to Heme Fog super Smart, so I'm sure you're familiar with him.

00:04:01
Speaker 2: Fuck, wow, are you kidding me? Coming?

00:04:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, that's where she went to high school.

00:04:09
Speaker 2: I was talking to somebody the other day in Nationally. They're like, yeah, White's Creek. I was like, White Creak. Do you remember White's Creek High School? Yes, such a long time ago.

00:04:17
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, yes, it's such a small world. I love that your parents allowed you to be free because a lot of times, especially when in black culture, they have such so much structure because we've had to write. So the fact that your parents allows you to be free and look who you've become because of that freedom is so beautiful. I love that, and the way you're able to express yourself. Yes, so most recently you captivated our screens with Forever. It is a culture phenomenon, Like we absolutely a changer.

00:04:53
Speaker 2: So listen, it changed so so much that things changed. It's never been to part of anything like that, huge.

00:05:03
Speaker 1: Huge, huge, so good, like I was glued to the screen like next next episode. It was so good. Mar had talked about you and her being friends for a long time. What was that process like? Because I know when writers are writing, there's characters, are people that come to their mind's as they're writing, like, wait, this is Karen Pittman. Was that one of those moments where Mark called and said, hey girl, I got a roll for you or is this something you had to actually audition for?

00:05:30
Speaker 2: No, I did not audition for it, and and we well, Mar and I came back into each other's lives in a real way. Yeah, in two thousand and nine, and I was pregnant with my daughter, and we started spending time together as mothers. And you know, I'd always known that she's a writer. She's doing extraordinary television shows every decades of times centering black women, and I just admired her and supported her as a friend. Of course, I'm an actor, but I've just never thought about you know, Crystal, you get to you get to a point in your life when you understand that you don't need to actually access someone for their resources, like your relationships don't need to be transactions.

00:06:25
Speaker 1: I wish everybody knew that.

00:06:26
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, some people in my life are just there. They're CEOs, they're doing things. You know, is there synergy between what I do and their brand or between what I do and their writing and what I do, and they're directing probably, but it's really just about supporting that friendship, supporting that relationship and being there for that person. And so for many many years that was me and Mara, and we went on a girls trip to go see Usher in Vegas, the very very last show. You have a friend in Usher's publicist mm hmm. So he got us some tickets and you know, we were hey, you know, we were trying to do it and uh and uh, we were doing it all and we woke up and just hung out girlfriends.

00:07:21
Speaker 1: Yes, you need that. That's so important.

00:07:25
Speaker 2: We needed it so badly. I didn't even realize it, but the spear was, you know, had just opened. Like we were just vibing, just vibing. And next morning went to have breakfast and she said, you know, I'm doing this thing. I'm doing this character. She had seen me in a play that a sister named Dominique Marissa had written years ago called Pipeline, and it was about a mother who was grappling with her daughter, her son maybe ending up in the school to prison Pipeline, which you know is so serious, very serious and a real thing in our in our community in this country. And and so she loved that role. And that was really the last time I had done a mother role that had depth and nuance and layers written by obviously a black woman. And but I'd been offered other things in between, you know, but not with the same nuances, not with the same you know. Care So and Maara uh, you know, asked me about, Hey, would you have some time to look at this role. I was like, yeah, sure, girl, let me see what you got around and so it's not playing around you mar Brock, right, that let me see that job. So so yeah, and it just was synergistically, it just worked in so many ways. Dawn is like that mom that we all know. But this just recently came into herself. Do you know. We we we couldn't have seen her like ten years ago, right believed that she existed well. With the visibility of an African American President and an African American First Lady, and the visibility of people like Stacy Abrams and Tony Morrison and Oprah Winfrey, we suddenly understand that there are black women who have incredible wisdom, who represent feminism in many different ways, but are very, very wealthy yes, they've financial independence for themselves and been able to lift their families at the same time, we really do believe that person exists in the world. So this is me throwing my hat in the ring of what a ambitious and well intentioned and ferocious, wealthy mother looks like in the black community. Who's grounded above a community? You know, this is my take on it. As an artist, I know so many women like Don. My mother was a version of Don. She aspired to be done in many ways. Yes, in that way.

00:10:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh no, you captivated Don. It was it was perfect and like there was no other person to play that role. You were the perfect fit for it and you and would like I loved the whole family dynamic. Actually got to interview your son on the show justin when was it BT, Michael? Yes, for yeah, the BT Media House, Yeah, Michael Cook Virginia. I got to introduce him, I interview him, and he was such a light and he talked about how amazing it was working with the both of you, and working with Lara, and and just the experience that he took from that coming from Texas and just kind of looking around like do I belong here? And had all rallied around him and made sure that he really was comfortable in that space, because I know how Dante can be sitting I don't know for sure, but I can imagine how daunting it would be sitting in between you and would and be like, what is going on right now?

00:11:06
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah? The great part about Michael is that he's smart enough to know that he doesn't know everything. You know, is that one of those Yeah, he's smart enough to know that he doesn't know everything, and he's open to other people's wisdom. But also, I mean me and Wood were simply like tapping to the wisdom, yeah, that you already have inside of you. And he is justin so many ways. He's believable because he is justing and he's really just starting. He's such an incredible artist, and I think you guys are going to see him evolved in this beautiful way over his career. I can't wait to see what happens. This character was a perfect fit for him, perfect.

00:11:48
Speaker 1: No, it definitely. I love the way Mars showed the black community in different dynamics. He talked about you being the wealthy family, but then you go to the not so wealthy part of town. And it still shows the beautiful family dynamic and the different characters, even Love's dad about how he was a little out there, but it shows all these different characters and how even in the craziness, we're all so much alikened not. And I wanted to ask you when it came to playing that part, what were some of your real life experiences that you pulled from to really to really captivate and create your character the way you did.

00:12:31
Speaker 2: Real life experiences. Well, I have a son who's entering college this year, and so you know, yeah, so to have the anxiety and the drama, yes of trying to get your son to finish his college application, to formulate a plan and then stick with it. You know when John says when he says, well, you just got it all planned out, and she's like, no, no, we have a plan. That was definitely taken from my my life. My son looked at my kids looked at forever with me, okay, and they were like, because they never looked at any of my stuff. They really wanted to see it. And I got the series during Black History Month and February of Life. You got y'all got it in May, I could watch it in February, right, and they watched it with me and they were like, they wanted to binge watch the whole thing, one after the other, after the other after the other. And they were like, Mom, we've had that conversation. My son said, we had that conversation too. So that was definitely something that I took that that love and affection and real sense of respect and admiration, which is is a very important form of love. I think people underestimate the importance of admiration for someone in their life, you admire them deeply. Is the same experience I have with my partner Ade, my fiance, and I brought that to my relationship with Wood, just this real respect for him. Yes, and uh, that's something to show your children.

00:14:10
Speaker 1: Absolutely, No, for sure. He talked about actually getting to watch this is the first show your children actually watched with you. How did that feel as a mother to sit down and watch the show that your children wanted to binge watch?

00:14:23
Speaker 2: It was great? I mean they didn't. I thought, are they gonna first? Are they gonna like it? And as an actor, you know, you're picking yourself up, You're like, why did I wear that in messy? Oh my god? But then they you know, what ended up happening happening and resonating with me was this sense of them understanding, you know, what I'm doing where I am when I'm not with them, they know the only only thing as important to them is this life. I live a purpose hopefully on doing something in the world and sharing myself and actualizing and self realizing. But so, uh, you know, okay, so this is what you do. Yeah, faith for you though, I think, because all they see is like, you know, the Instagram, the social media work, you know, all that kind of stuff, But there is a lot of work that goes into it, and I think they it sort of suddenly dawned on them that oh, this is this is actually good, this is why you do all this.

00:15:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, when it comes to being a mother and balancing your career and balancing motherhood, what are some of the principles and things that you put in a place so that you can balance it?

00:15:45
Speaker 2: Well, well, you know, Crystal, this is my perspective on having it all. It's it's a juggle. You can't have one ball in your hand for very long before you throw the other one out right, right, So that's that's my perspective. On it, and it's about prioritizing. But I think one of the things I share with actually all the women that I work with, because I have the great privilege of working with Mara and this a woman led, a woman centric sort of production and set. And then I had this great privilege of honor working with Mimi and Jane and Breeze and Charlotte on the Morning Show. And at the bottom of all of these choices, it is this very intentional decision to do it with love, to do it with care, do it in a thoughtful way. And there's nothing you know, flip about how these choices are made and how we live and you know what we do, the shows, the episodes, you know that we work on the things. That is a very intentional space. And I found that that's very important with family, who's around my kids, who comes into my home. You know, I saw Sinners. You don't invite everybody into your home.

00:17:06
Speaker 1: Come on, I heard Ryan.

00:17:10
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, Ryan, that's exactly right.

00:17:13
Speaker 1: Yes, everybody could not come into your house.

00:17:16
Speaker 3: Nobody can come in here, no, thank you.

00:17:20
Speaker 2: So all of that is just very intentional. That's one of the things that I put in place into.

00:17:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing. How about you, Well, I'm not a mom, so really, for me, it's balancing. No, I know that.

00:17:32
Speaker 2: I mean, but you have family right around the.

00:17:33
Speaker 1: Family, what's your Yeah, Honestly, I plan vacations with them. When I have downtime, I make sure I bring everybody out so we can have some time together and just be present. You know. For me, I'm always traveling, I'm always working, and that time, especially as I get older, and I realized that my time with my parents is fast quickly dwindling down. It's like I need to make the most of these moments where I have them with me, so I enjoy I call them my kids. Now I'm like, all right, kiddos, what are we doing next? So I love spending time with my parents, and I have siblings and they have children, so spending time with them is a lot of fun. For Labor Day, we just took a we did like a yacht day in Miami, and I took the kids to the ice cream Museum and we did a beach day so they could build sand castles. So I do all the things that I would do my children. Yeah, and they bring them into my world and share the fruits of my labor honestly. So yeah, yeah, that's what I do, and yeah, it's a good time. You talked about playing the role in Pipeline, and I want to know because that was such an emotionally intense role for me. When I'm playing Fatima, it takes me a little while to come out of that character. How long does it take you to come out of characters, especially something like this in Pipeline.

00:19:04
Speaker 2: Pipeline was hard. That was that was eight shows a week, eight shows a week, six days a week. You know, I can't. I couldn't what I'm doing a play. I can't. I can't get it. Yeah, I just don't. And I try not to take too many roles like that where you bring them home. My kids were very young at the time, so it wasn't as as tough on them, but you know, the same level of anxiety that don has, but much more A lot of things were manifesting in her in Naya's Son, the characters saying Naya and Naya's Son that were really much more urgent for her. But at the end of what I will say is at the end of every season with a character, no matter if I'm working on television, no matter how how long or short the season is. I'm doing a character, I'll write them a letter at the end. Yeah, with a team or whatever you're working on, I write, I write a letter to the character at the end of the season. And I because we share this space, we share a body. Yeah, and that's a real that's a world in and of itself.

00:20:19
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:20:21
Speaker 2: So I write a letter, and I think of all the experiences that we've had, and I sort of, you know, in my own way, sort of share what I felt, what impacted me, and you know, say, I'm going to say goodbye. Now we're going to see each other again, and I'm sure they will whatever, but great job and talk too soon and all that kind of stuff. It's really helpful.

00:20:44
Speaker 1: I can imagine that being helpful. I'm going to take that on. I like that idea. Yes, I never thought about it, because it's hard.

00:20:51
Speaker 2: Enough to kind of say goodbye to you. Guys have a very intense schedule, right, so you run the you run the gamut of emotions, right, and you really do have to take care of yourself.

00:21:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I do. I'm telling you, Like, when I come out of filming, I literally feel like I'm schizophrenic. Like I feel like I've lost my mind because it's so many different ranges of emotions in two weeks where I'm like, my body doesn't know the difference. My body doesn't know that I'm acting. It's like, do we need to go admit yourself into a psych word, Like what's happening right now?

00:21:27
Speaker 2: You do? You need to have a therapist?

00:21:29
Speaker 3: If you're an actor, you don't have a therapist.

00:21:31
Speaker 2: That's a hard thing, you know what I mean? Like you absolutely because you do have to run through those actual emotions and those things live in your body. I mean, people talk a lot about acting is not a mental thing. Acting is really really physical, emotional. There's a psychological and aesthetic experience. And so yeah, yeah, I certainly have that experience. And in my shows, we don't run through our work in a sort of at a sort of marathon pace, right, very rather a sprints run through it at a sprint. We run it an a marathon. So you're constantly serving energy and not letting it all out. Like I love the thing about the morning shows that were or even Forever's it. Human beings don't change that much. So the conditions upon which you actually let it out have to be a very extreme and that maybe happens once in a season, not over episodes. Yeah, some time, do you know right? Absolutely? Yes?

00:22:34
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, no, for sure. You had mentioned in an interview with Feeding America that it takes a lot of strength to be a single mom, and it takes even more strength and resilience to be a single parent while facing hunger and trying your hardest of food on the table for your kids. The biggest obstacle was overcoming the shame I felt. And in this kipt community, I know there are single parents and we are living in a day where the economy is the unemployment rates are an all time high, but the cost of living is not going down. How did you overcome the shame that you felt during that time? And why do you feel like you felt shame? You didn't put yourself in that predicament. Why do you think you felt that well?

00:23:18
Speaker 2: I mean, I absolutely felt like there was some part of it that I needed to be accountable for. I needed to be responsible for so many things affect your quality of life, including the relationships the people you have in it. And I had a lot of people in my life that were undermining my ability to move forward, and I had to I had to, you know, detach from them.

00:23:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, in a way.

00:23:49
Speaker 2: And I understood that because those people had my attention and I was paying them a lot of attention. And by paying, i'm you know what I mean, like I had to spend, you know, and I didn't. I needed to be focused on it. So in the areas where I needed to be responsible, I had to look at that, and I had some shame around it. The shame is one of those interesting things shame the word should derive from, shame, should have done. You know, It's an interesting thing. As a human being in that condition, you can either use it to motivate you or you can use it to stay down. And my parents were manifestors, you know. My parents raised in Jim Crow, So they had to think very strategically about how they were going to live in the world and still be able to be successful and still be joyful and raise children that were joyful.

00:24:53
Speaker 1: Right.

00:24:54
Speaker 2: Well, I come from that stock, that's in my DNA, that's genetic for me. So the way that I dealt with my feeling of shame and the stigma was really just to be reminded of where I came from and from whom I belonged to or to whom I belong and to really deliberate and think about my parents and what they had been through is one of those times when you think to your parents, like they had five kids, Yeah, I have two, and I am I am not doing what I need to do with my children, and how do I make that? Okay, I made some mistakes. To be in the human condition his to make mistakes. Absolutely, I do feel like part of being a human is failing, is accepting failure and not as the worst possible thing to happen, but as a function of just being human. So I think really it was for me to do the work of writing my path, yeah, which of course correct, And that was reaching out to Feeding America who had a you know, who had a church that I could go to and get fresh fruits and vegetables, not just canned you know, right. But the reason why I like Feeding America is because they do. You know, so many of these urban areas are food deserts. You have to go all on the bus and go there and go over there to get actually a fresh vegetables. It's really really tough, you know, it's easier to get frozen or canned or but it's not always the healthiest thing for you and your family. And you want to raise healthy children. A sickly child is that, you know, just so exhausting. Yeah, disheartening, you know, nothing worse than not and having a child that's unwell like you know, so so really it was about handling my own personal business, but also you know, about letting people come and help me out, saying I need help, I need it.

00:27:14
Speaker 1: That's so hard for people to ask for help nowadays, It's so hard.

00:27:19
Speaker 2: It is. My children were great motivators for me, though I also thought we wouldn't want them to be in the world. And yeah, so that's kind of how I got over it. But I also feel everyone has their own journey, Crystal. Part of why I love this podcast because it is about keeping it positive, you know what I mean? Yeah, Land and Ditch only want to wave it up, you know what I mean. Yes, you can't go no further, you know. So that's that's one of the things that I you know, I genuinely believe I manifested some extraordinary things in my life when I had no choice but to put out my hand hand and that's her help. That's right.

00:28:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, for sure. You talked about how the loss of your mom in twenty sixteen, how it gave you a new perspective on what it meant to be a mother. How did that shift your perspective in that moment, Well, many things.

00:28:28
Speaker 2: I mean, towards the end of my mother's life, she you know, let me know that she hadn't done everything she wanted to do. She had not, she had not she had not been able to do everything she wanted to do, and she could feel the decline, you know, she could feel it was, you know, she was going to have to leave this world. And I just remember thinking, I don't I don't want to. I don't want to be in that position. Yeah, I don't want my She would say, like, I had these children, I really wanted to be a good mother. I wanted to do the right thing by them. And I understood that poll but I also saw that her choice made her feel small.

00:29:17
Speaker 1: And my mother was.

00:29:19
Speaker 2: Enormous force of life. She was just this force of life. M H. Happens when your life force goes in the direction not of your own life right right so, or your own journey, your own purpose, whether your purpose you feel like your individual purpose is. So I learned from my mother to stay focused on what I needed to, to be very deliberate about what I needed to do, speaking to this spiritual advisor that I have, and you know, because I still have sort of a deep conflict with that. Just maybe yesterday I was talking to her about day before, yes I was talking to her about it. She said, I don't want you to make the assumption that your mother isn't completing the things that she wanted to do in this life. Where she is now. You know, her her purpose and her energy and her force, her life work goes on and some of that goes on in you. And that gave me great solace to think that maybe she didn't complete it here while she was with me, but she's completely where she is now, you know what I mean. Oh well, that's such a gift. Wow, thank you for that advice, you know, because it means we're never wasting time, you know, we're never losing time. We're going to finish everything that we need to. So and my mother was an extraordinary gift of a parent. I mean, she really did put us first for so long in her life, so in pragmatic ways but also in very purposeful, strategic ways. To both my parents were scientists. I don't know if I told no they were both. They were both scientists, but such artists in their work as scientists and educators and just so smart and intelligent. So my mother very much gave me the representation of woman who's not only beautiful but extraordinarily intelligent. I understood I needed both needed to be both of those things in her watching.

00:31:16
Speaker 1: Her so yea yeah, wow, Well I know she is smiling down on you, for sure. And I love that your spiritual guys told you that you are living out some of the things that she probably wanted to do. So I'm glad that you're sure that. Yeah, that is so beautiful. I lost my mother at a very young age, and I always wonder what she wanted to really, do you know if I'm making her proud? So I think that's every daughter's hope.

00:31:45
Speaker 2: Yes, for sure, Yeah, I think we're both sort of living that out right. Yes, eight years since my mother died, my career has you know, shot up like crazy, Yeah, the last eight years, And I know that has to be her life force in me and around me, right and pushing me forward in any way, So something that as a mother and daughter, we probably couldn't have done if she were still here, that level of energy and support. You know, I sometimes sometimes other daughters sometimes fighting with each other. But so I'm gifted to have had the mother that I had. Yeah.

00:32:31
Speaker 1: Absolutely, What are some things that you have sewn into your own daughter when it comes to doing everything that she wants to do living fully? And I'm sure you're an example of that to her every single day, But what are some things that you tell her?

00:32:45
Speaker 2: Well, my daughter's different, Crystal, She's so different from me. Really, Oh my gosh, I would never have met anyone like Lena had I not born Lena into the world, like I would never I would never have met her. So she would never she would never want to mess around with me, you know what I mean. She would never want to I don't mess with her is what she would Probably she just would never want to have anything to what do I teach my daughter?

00:33:14
Speaker 1: What was the question again, Yeah, what are some things that you sewn into your daughter when it comes to living her life fully? And I was saying that you probably are a great example for her in that every single day.

00:33:25
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. The reason why I brought that up is because she's so different. So what I give Lena has to be very specific. It doesn't hear everything I say, do you know what I mean? Yeah?

00:33:39
Speaker 1: You know, where is this? And do that?

00:33:42
Speaker 2: Said?

00:33:42
Speaker 1: And that and the other.

00:33:43
Speaker 2: She goes, I ain't like that, so you know, I don't do that or whatever she says. So I have to be very very strategic about what I tell her. Most of the things that I talked to Lena about are around confidence out how you and view your choices with authenticity, creating a life that looks like yours and not like somebody else's. Oh yeah, you know, I tell her, you want your life. You don't want somebody else's. You want the life that it is meant right for you. And so that's a that's I give my children a lot of agency, a lot of power. Their opinions matter a lot to me. Now they don't have a lot of experience. My daughter's only been in the world fourteen years, but I make sure that she knows she knows herself best, you know, also make sure that she she loves herself. You know. Yeah, you're going to be with Lena for the rest of your life. I say to her, make sure you like her, you take care, you know what I mean, Like, that's your that's your bood, that's your you know, a boom, like you need to you need to make sure that you're taking care of her and that you're having fun because you're gonna be with her for rest of your life. Yes, so all those things that you know are important.

00:35:27
Speaker 1: Absolutely, My daughter's a hergo it is her birthday? Has it passed yet or is it coming up?

00:35:34
Speaker 2: It's next week.

00:35:37
Speaker 1: It's absolutely now. You once said that motherhood is overrated. What did you mean by that?

00:35:54
Speaker 2: Pregnancy, labor, delivery, all the things. Crazy crazy, It's a lot of pain, a lot of discomfort, a lot of physic it's a I mean, I think that we as women are sold that, you know, we are sold this thing that being a mother is the penultimate experience for the old rather penultimate is the ultimate experience for a woman maybe behind being a wife, Do you know what I mean? And I I've had both experiences, and I strongly disagree. There are women in the world who don't have children, and I wouldn't say they're missing out, you know, I would say there are many areas where you can nurture and support and love and care in the same way that I do for my children. And the number one area that women can do it is to raise themselves up, is to support themselves, is to you know, be their own mother. Yeah, and their own father in many ways, you know. So so yeah, that's what I meant by that. I mean it is it has been rewarding. Like I did really need children to grow up, and I remember being a child wanting you know, a young girl, wanting children even more than I wanted a husband. I wanted children. But but yeah, but I think that you know, you don't necessarily free Maybe you don't need to freeze your eggs, you know, maybe you don't need to you know, you know, stay with that guy because you really do want to have kids. And do you feel like that's a biological clock is ticking, do you know what I mean? Maybe you don't need to do that. Maybe there are other options, do you know? So physically having a child, I think it's very very difficult, and raising children is you know, next love. But having said that, I have a very good friend of mine who's pregnant right now, and she's listening to this. I want to know it's worth it. Keep going. She's thirty seven weeks long and she's about to I have rebated and she's listened to this.

00:38:16
Speaker 4: I want her to know you could do it, and it's going to be great. It's fun it's a great time. It's celebrated right.

00:38:22
Speaker 1: That it's funny. But you really just spoke to me because I am forty two and I just opened up about going to the fertility doctor. I haven't had anything. Yeah, yeah, And you're right. Sometimes we stay in relationships because we feel like our biological clock is ticking. There are times where we feel like we're missing out on something, and society has put this great emphasis on marriage and having children. And thank you because even just in what you just said gave me some peace about where I am in my life. And things are great, you know, and I don't have to add pressure on myself.

00:39:00
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so there's you know, Jennifer has said this and said this. You know, I am nurtured and am a mother too many children. None of them are you know, necessarily my own, but obviously not her own. But but she is nurtured and supported and that is a kind of mother in the world. I mean, and I mean there's also if you there are so many children that need love and support. It is if you're not able to bi biologically have a child. It's not as if you can have a child in their life. Now listen, I love a baby. I love a baby. Yeah, me too, like to right right now?

00:39:44
Speaker 1: I love keep up.

00:39:46
Speaker 3: Every time I hear my kids, my kids will uh if I hear a baby crying my kids, my kids know already.

00:39:53
Speaker 2: I'm going to get that crying baby away from my mother because she hates the crying baby.

00:39:58
Speaker 3: She cannot take my nervous then he takes that baby. Okay, I've got but I can take care of that baby.

00:40:04
Speaker 2: Let me have that. It's very on the train. If I'm in a restaurant, Mom, are you okay, I'm fine. I'm just gonna stay in my chair. I'm not gonna go get.

00:40:14
Speaker 1: The baby, going to get the baby?

00:40:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Like I can make crying.

00:40:20
Speaker 1: It's okay, let me get to that's my special power. That is so funny because my nephew, he was a crier. And I remember the first time they came to visit me while when he was like not even one he was just a couple of months old, and I was like, he can sleep with me, and that baby cried. I was like, why did I tell him he can sleep in here? But they were like okay. I was like, but finally when he went to sleep, it was just like, oh, he's so precious. I'm like, he's precious when he's quiet.

00:40:54
Speaker 2: But you know, he's so cute when he's being good.

00:40:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah.

00:41:01
Speaker 2: How's that journey been for you?

00:41:02
Speaker 1: Though?

00:41:03
Speaker 2: Your as your you have lots of nieces and neshews, and you're do you feel do you feel less pressure now at forty two then you felt maybe in your thirties or do you have it just resolved that you were going to be on this journey in a singular kind of way and navigated as a woman just by just I'm just navigating this conversation as a woman. Yeah.

00:41:30
Speaker 1: No, that's so good hearing. Honestly, I was so just focused on my career, focus on life and enjoying life as it was happening, being present. And then I started dating someone who really wants kids, so now it's like, oh, okay, so this is a thing, you know, And before I was in faced with that, like kind of ultimatum, you know. And I think it was one of those things where as the conversation kept coming up, I said, well, let me just go see what's going on. How many follicles I have and everything? So that, yeah, oh the thing, it was so much. I just learned about my ovaries and uterus that I had no idea about. You know, when you go do the do the the consultation. So yeah, you had a lot of work and then you had that follow up appointment where they're like, okay, so here's the reality. If you're gonna do it, you gotta do it now.

00:42:30
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you better hurry up, you better run on out this office and do it right now.

00:42:35
Speaker 1: Right now. Let's know. I was like, oh lord. So I was like, let me just pray about it. And it's a long distance relationship. So after I prayed about it, I said, you know what, I'm not going to put the pressure on myself. If this is meant to be, it's going to be, and I'm going to continue to be present, continue to enjoy life. And yeah, that's where I am with it. But it is a lot and it can be daunting when you go get that follow up meeting with the doctor and they're like, all right, so this is your reality. What are you going to do? And you have seventy two hours to figure it out? Not literally right, but literally right?

00:43:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but actually literally there's I love that. First of all, I love that we're talking about this because it's like such a such a real conversation. One has the pressure that the world puts on you to actually be a mother and be a life and then I'm sure that happens when you're actually in a relationship where you really want to live in that space. I also think the other thing that happens is that a relationship changes so much when a child enter its, when you bring another person into it, So you really do want to be thoughtful, intentional. You know, it's going to change the entire dynamic of how you live with that person, how you see them. And my partner is also a long distance he has two children, and I am, you know, going to be kind of a step mom, and I actually having to think about what kind of step mom I want to be.

00:44:04
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:44:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, okay, I didn't see myself going in this direction, but here we are. Yeah.

00:44:14
Speaker 1: Wow, that's amazing. You're going to be an incredible step mom. I know you will. Yeah, no, you will, you will. How is long distance for you? Like, is it in the States long distance or like overseas on distance? For me, it's overseas now.

00:44:29
Speaker 2: He lives in New York and in LA but it's such a wide five and a half another country. Basically, it's like another country. It really is. I mean, it's one of the words deuce is. I hate it, Like I'm not a long distance if I didn't love that man so much. It's crazy.

00:44:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, especially that time change, like you're up late and he's early. It's like.

00:45:02
Speaker 2: It's the worst. And he's he's got he's got this schedule where he has to be in the bed for an hour and I'm like, you're like you know, yeah, yes, yes, and you know, three hours. It's interesting because he's three hours ahead of me, so I'm always feeling like when I wake up, I'm behind him, like I'm trying to catch up. Yeah, weird, that's weird in a relationship. And yeah, uh but you know, gosh, it's actually works really well because I am so busy. It actually works out really well because I have such a busy life.

00:45:40
Speaker 1: Yes, So.

00:45:43
Speaker 2: If you were around me all the time, I think we would get on each other's nurse.

00:45:47
Speaker 1: See that's my problem.

00:45:49
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you would get on each other's nurse. Yeah.

00:45:53
Speaker 1: And when you're used to your space, it's just one of those things where you like your space.

00:45:57
Speaker 2: So yeah. For example, he was here with me, Sean you know Sean Harris. He was here doing my hair, my makeup and hairstyles. Marcia Hamilton was here, and he just came in like what what you know? He looked it at first he thought it.

00:46:16
Speaker 4: Was really cute, but now he's like, this is like and I'm like, this is my life, this is real here and this is a real thing. But you know, when he comes in, it's like this is completely taken over the entire and I'm like, yeah, this is what I do, do you know?

00:46:32
Speaker 2: And that's always yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

00:46:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, say yeah, what is this?

00:46:44
Speaker 2: Yes? Yes, yes, yes, yes, but no it is It's great. We're I'm Malley in love with him. You know, I'm not going anywhere he proposed, And.

00:46:53
Speaker 1: Now would you move Kim?

00:46:57
Speaker 2: I He lives in New York. I actually moved away from New York. We met when I was about to move to l A, He's coming there, which is a great, great, a gift that works.

00:47:11
Speaker 1: I love that for both of you, and I'm gonna pray that nobody gets on anybody's nerves. Yeah, well, good luck, all right, right exactly, Kim. Before we get out of here, I want to play a quick game with you. It's called real rapid fire. So I'm just gonna ask you a question and you're gonna give me the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay, I got okay, perfect. It says your favorite screenplay of all time.

00:47:46
Speaker 2: Casino.

00:47:47
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one. Favorite character you've played.

00:47:56
Speaker 2: This Sorry right now a change, but right now it's going.

00:48:02
Speaker 1: Yes, favorite playwrights.

00:48:06
Speaker 2: Line for sure.

00:48:09
Speaker 1: Yes, favorite way to spend your day off when you do get a day off.

00:48:15
Speaker 2: With with my children, with Adi and Kyblos Lucas.

00:48:23
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, come on, Calo, Saint Lucas. I love and that's not far from you. So that's perfect now, it's so yes, I love that favorite guilty pleasure TV show that's our girl. And then your favorite quote of mantra to live by?

00:48:49
Speaker 2: Oh god, uh choose you mm hmmm. I like that.

00:48:56
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what you tell your daughter. Choose you, Karen. Thank you so much. You have season four of The Morning Show coming out. Forever has been slated for season two. I'm so excited about that. I can't wait for both of them. Is there anything else we need to be arrested on or anything we need to put on our radar that you have coming up.

00:49:15
Speaker 2: Just now September seventeenth, it's only on Apple TV. Plus you're going to see The Morning Show and it's a great season.

00:49:21
Speaker 1: Please, we're gonna watch. No, I'm so excited. You're a phenomenal at the show, so I cannot wait. I cannot wait.

00:49:29
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:49:29
Speaker 1: Thank you for this. I love you so much.

00:49:32
Speaker 3: You are the best at.

00:49:35
Speaker 1: Thank you. I love you, Karen. This is a delight way to start my day. I do apologize again for the technical difficulties. No, thank you for your patience and you are so gracious. Thank you.

00:49:45
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll talk all right.

00:49:47
Speaker 1: Love, have a good one. Thank you so much. Para Pitman for sharing her journey and specifically her perspective on motherhood with us. I took so much from this conversation that's going to resonate with me and I hope it resonates with you too in the meantime, in between time. Keep it positive, sweeties, h

00:50:10
Speaker 2: H