Bachelor Peter Weber

00:00:01
Speaker 1: What's up vasterination. Of course, we hope you're all staying safe, healthy, saying I know you're probably a little stir crazy. I know, I am, I know Becca is. Actually I'm oddly content right now, which is weird. So I just feel like I'm gonna crack any moment. But whatever you're feeling right now, we are here to make you feel better because we have on the podcast today none other than Peter Webber. That's right. I feel like this has been an unusual season because usually you get your answers, you kind of know how things end, and you move on and you get ready for the next season. Well that hasn't been the case because we are in quarantine. There's not a current Bachelorette season filming right now. Things were kind of up in the air when it came to Peter's season. We've never seen an ending like this, so we were just kind of left in limbo. So none of us know much more than we're seeing out there today. So finally we'll get to see what's going on from Peter himself. Yeah, Rachel, I cannot wait. This is one of the interviews that I mean, obviously we have been waiting a while for because we did not get to speak to Peter after the finale unfortunately, and this is probably one of the most requested interviews we've had yet. I'd literally still to this day gid DMS being like, bring Peter on, Bring Peter on. So today is that day. Now. I don't know about you, but on a very selfish and personal level, I'm just dying to know what's going on, because, like you said, we kind of get little tidbits of info here and there of what maybe maybe what he's doing, where he is, who he's hanging out with, but it hasn't been confirmed by Peter himself yet, and so I can't wait to get him on. Obviously, we've spoken with Hannah Ann after the finale, we got hert take, but we need Peter's take too, because there's probably much more to the story and we're missing a lot, you know, and Peter, Like I, regardless of what people think about Peter and how his season ended, I still love him. I still want nothing but the best for him. So I really want to hear from him because we have some major questions, and so I just think for the sake of everyone, we just have to get into it. Bring him in because from the beginning, Becca, from the beginning, well, Rachel, we've joked all season, like we kept saying when it was going on, there was so much John and we're like, we just needed to get to the end. We just wanted to end and figure out what's going on, and like we never got anything because obviously the way everything panned out, he didn't end up with anyone as far as we know at this point. Who knows if things have changed since then. Um So I think, oh, well, we're gonna say well, no, I was gonna say even the finale. Normally from the finale we get some type of resolution, but because of Barbed who we adore, we it was like the focus went towards that. So we didn't even focus really on the fact that Peter dumped hannah An his relationship with Madison because the focal point was Barbed right, So Chris Harrison didn't get to dig deep. So today we're gonna play Chris Harrison can't wait. Well, I think without further ado, we just have to get into it. We have to get started with Peter. So, ladies and gentlemen, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners, please give a warm welcome to our latest bachelor, Peter Whipper Peter, Hi, Peter, Hello, Hello, how's it going. I'm good, showing like a villain, you know, Peter. Where are you at right now? I'm in So, I'm in Chicago. I'm at Kelly's apartment right now. Getting to the good stuff right away the way I got Dustin, That says, Hi, Dusty waves. Hi. Wait, was Dustin Dustin's met you, Rachel? Yeah, Peter? Was he supposed to be our one of our bachelor's for the live show. Were you supposed to be a bachelor for the live show? Oh? Yeah, he was. I don't even know. Yeah, we'll tell him to keep next you're in February reserved. I'll keep next February reserved because they're coming back to you. All right, says Okay, where's Kelly? Kelly's still asleeping? What time is it? Which y'all do? Last night we had a good night and sad some fun we had like a dance party. Because you have you seen like these DJs that have been doing these like live shows, DJ Nice? Have you watched his h not his? No, we're watching Griffin and uh I think the guys or LOUI the child, But yeah, we're just didn't you want to be a DJ? Weren't you going to become a DJ? I would love to you. That's always been like a huge passion of mine. So really yeah, I've always just like known that I have it in me, like I have that whatever that is, like just pump up a crowd and like give what I feel to them. I just have to figure out a way to take it out. I got to learn what I'm doing obviously, But um, I know Blake he's like he's doing. I've been talking to him a little bit, and uh, because I have so much free time, you know, I might as well do something else. So what would be your style? Like your your your type of music that you would do? Tropical house? So you know that you ever heard of Kigo? Yes? Okay, So like his kind of music is like the music they talks to me touches me the most. So like that exact vibe, like a lot of like piano like instrumentals. Um, but just like that good, feel good music. Did you know that there's like a legit DJ school. Yeah? I did, okay, because because when I saw Blake at the Bachelor Live Tour, he was telling me. He's like, yeah, I went to DJ school. I'm like, where the hell is a DJ school? I've never heard of it, but it sounds cool. It sounds like it'd because I mean not kind of a pretty fun school, no, I think, Yeah, he went to one in Denver, So I'm gonna look for one in LA. And all this stuff is said and done. But I got my got my laptop, got all the equipment. So oh, you're serious. I mean, why not pick up a passion in a hobby during this time? So I'm going to ask you off the bat, have you changed your stance on coronavirus? Uh? Are you talking about like? Yeah, I need to ask you Peter like one like TMZ thing. Yes, yeah, yeah I can yeah, fully change my stance. That was before everything I did. I used to think that, Yeah, it was just kind of like an overblown thing, like unwarranted spear. Obviously it is not. I was one billion percent wrong, And yeah, I apologize for those comments. We'll call this the Redemption Podcast. You got to give you a chance to clear things up. I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. The guy called me off guard, but whatever, yeah, completely one eight. So hey, I will say when I was still on the tour before everything got shut down and we had to be locked inside because I was on the tour with Ben, and Ben seemed overly paranoid at that point, and I was like, Oh, I don't go away. It's not going to be that bad. And then fast forward to a month later, I'm like, I am biting my tongue right now. It's sad. I get it. It's sad, but yep, hopefully it's you know, kind of blows over soon. Who knows. Yeah, but you're doing You're saying you're quarantining, so you're doing your part right. I as much as people think I haven't been, I promise you've been quarantining in social distancing here in Chicago. So for all of the listeners right now, you can't see us, were on zoom, so we're all looking at each other. But Peter is quarantining. Um. I don't know if you miss at the top of this, but he is quarantining where and good old Shytown Chicago with with with good old Chop Chop Kelly and Dustin good Chop Chop. That's a that's what that's the nickname I've given Kelly. That's like on the last on her last episode in Peru, she's like, Chop Chop, give me the road. And so now I just call her Chop Chop. Oh, okay, okay, cute little nickname, a little pet name. So I was gonna hold off on the Kelly stuff, but I will ask you this, and I'm hoping by the time that we've were into this podcast that she wakes up. I really don't think she's asleep. I just think that she's hiding. But that's okay, Kelly, that's okay. I'm going to send a text Darren because because we've always been Kelly fans, so you know, you got a friend in us on this podcast. That's my sister in the law. So that's right, yep, exactly. So my question is we saw the TMZ photos come out. Yeah, whether you guys were aware of that was going to happen or not, I don't know. You were in a pretty public place, so it's it wasn't shocking. I guess that somebody called. You know, you guys all hanging out right, So I guess my question is when you decided to do it, where y'all like fuck it? You know what I mean, we're just gonna go out, hang out. People are gonna talk regardless, Let's go Honestly, So we had been cooped up in Kelly's apartment for like quite like almost like a week before that ever came out, those pictures, and then finally it was a gorgeous thing in Chicago. They really dustin and Kelly really wanted me to do the Riverwalk, which is like this gorgeous thing to do here, And at first we were gonna do like a kind of hidden one closer to Kelly's apartment, but then like, now let's do the main one. So we ended up doing it, and honestly, like more hat sack glasses, thought we'd kind of be good. Wasn't trying to like put it in people's faces at all? Um. And that first picture I remember, I literally we were at like the one of the slips there on the lake and like I picked her up real quickly, like a little spinny thing, just for fun. And then someone taking dusts like well someone just got a picture and we're like no, and then whatever, you know, Peter, people are always watching. You need to give a wig or something. I know, I know, seriously, I need to like work on like a better disguise. But um, I mean listen at that point too, I don't think I know, people were like kind of upset the whole social distancing thing, and they just didn't know. They didn't, you know, know the facts about what I had chosen to do at that point. So I totally get their frustration with that. But now that I can kind of clear it up, we were social distancing. It was just us. And at that point that riverwalk was still open. Think there was thousands of people on it. So that's the problem, Peter, That's why people were upset. There were all those people there. Well, that's allowed at that point that the order had been allowed to be allowed to go walk and get exercise and get fresh air. And then the next they closed it. So yeah, because of you guys, Honestly, you brought so much attention to the riverwalk they close it down. So inquiring minds what to know? How did you end up quarantining at Kelly's take us back? Okay? Yeah, So I keep saying, just with Kelly Knight, it's been like very serendipitous with just everything's kind of happened from the very beginning. How we met before the show. I don't know if everyone knows, but while this show is airing, we ran We ran it in each other again in Miami on at the super Bowl. That was crazy, just a brief brief you know, hello, how are you doing by? And then fast forward now to a couple of weeks ago, through some mutual friends, we ranched each other a third time out in La, got her number, started communicating. She's always been very supportive of me, and you know, I've tried my best be supportive of her. Some stuff ended up happening with her family, some slight serious stuff like health stuff. So she was kind of like in a just a sad place, a rough place, and she was by herself, a roommates word in Chicago. Her family was in Florida, you know, quarantine, And so I decided to fly out, spent some time with there, try to take her mind off things, and um, you know that's what I did. Um. I Also, it actually ended up just working out because you know, obviously I still live at home and I fly still I have to do for the essential work. And I was like it better just like make this my home base and go back home and risk giving something to my parents, you know, who are in their sixties and they just made sense on all fronts, and um, you know I could be there for her and you know, hopefully I put a stall on her face and you know, distractor a little bit. So that was nicely put without being too specific that I believe you know, I believe you. I want to did because I want to know personally. Wouldn't the third time that you say, there's muchild friends who kind of hooked you guys up to bump into each other. Was that? Did that happen to be during the women tell all? No? This was this was way after all of that. She's I guess her her brothers are really good friends with Katie Agro and so I guess through that connection she was saying with them, I'm really good friends with Christian Haggarty. And I was out with Dylan and Devon one night and then I Dylan had been texting Christian, so I started texting Christian and then we were like, yeah, come out and meet with meet us. And you know, Kelly was what the on like this it's crazy so serendipitous, like you said, yeah, I'll say, I mean I was in Miami for the Super bowl, and I didn't run into either one of y'all, So I mean, I guess maybe they were hiding at that point. Peter. I'm excited that we have you and that you're finally clearing it up because I cannot begin to tell you the amount of DMS that I personally receive or that Garrett receives asking about you and if you and Kelly are together. And I've said this on the podcast before with Rachel, like people think just because we're part of this Bachelor world that we were on the show, like we somehow magically know everything about everyone, and that's not the case. So I don't know that we care to know. You don't even care to know. Yeah, I just there's too many of us now, Like there's no way, and so I just don't even respond to people that ask me about you. Guys. So everyone listening, you've heard it from the horse's mouth here, Peters. But but listen, we aren't listen. We aren't dating right now. I can set that straight. Um. I me personally, obviously, have I've learned anything. It's to take things extremely slow and not rush into anything. I just was engaged. I just was finishing up another relationship, figuring out what was going to happen with that. So, um, you know we're there late, Peter, I gotta ask you a question. I'm sorry. I believe you that you're not dating one percent. Believe you. Um. I also like to point out that you were using Kelly's I at her apartment. I don't know. Nothing gets past me. I have never was I I was talking to Caitlin the other day doing a podcast and she like didn't want to say it. She's like, oh, is he trying to hide this or something? And then she's like, so whose computer are you on. I was like, oh, it's Kelly, he said. She's like, Okay, hows gonna see. I don't think you're trying to hide anything, which personally I think is kind of refreshing. It's I think you've learned the hard way. Like a lot of leads that have had a difficult time, people have been hard on you, like, let's just call it what it is, and they're gonna be hard on you. Some people are gonna like what you do, some people aren't. So you just kind of have to live your life and cancel out all the other noise. And it seems like you're doing them. But back to what you said, you said you're taking it slow and you're not dating yet. You literally called where you are home right now. You said, I'm just making this my home base. That kind of sounds fast to see each other every day where you're quarantining. How many bedrooms does Kelly have? You know what I meant? Three bedrooms? Don't even try to tell me that you and Dustin are in your own rooms. We have our own room, and we got soph here too, Dustin's dogs. So we're having a party. It's just I mean, like, obviously it sounds like so much fun, you know, to have a group of people, because a lot of people are alone right now, But it also doesn't sound like you're taking a slow I'm just I'm just saying, so the perfect way to get to know somebody is like this. I understand that, but I will use the defense that we are quarantining together so that we have no choice. But it's done all of our time together, and I just I'm grateful for that, very grateful because we get along still. Well, I just yeah, I look up there and just have so much respect for herself. So here's my segue into moving on, do you feel like at this point, because how many weeks have you been quarantined in Chicago? Um, I guess and now like a little over two and a half maybe, So, do you feel like you know Kelly better than you knew Hannah Ann or Madison at this point? Yes? Yeah, yeah, sege go ahead. I know you've spent a lot of time with her. Yea. I know more about my husband now than I haven't. I can see if the couples can make it through this quarantine when you are locked in together twenty four seven, you can make it through anything after this. It's very true. Yeah. No, I've definitely gotten to know her very well, everything that kind of makes your tick and just kind of like annoys all that stuff, and you're still there. Go ahead, Becca, Well, Peter, we have so many questions for you. I mean, we have a list here and I was up late last night writing and what I want to make sure to ask you, because I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants answers to everything. I want to start though, first by just kind of giving you the floor, because I mean, it's been a while now since you're finale, we haven't really heard too much from you. You know, you didn't do a press tour once everything went down, you kind of just, i mean not went off the grid, but you know, secluded away in Chicago, And so first and foremost, I want to know, why, why now, why this timing? Do you feel like it's right to finally come out and chat with all of us and give your side. And then I really want you to just take it away. And I'm sure you have so much on your chest that you want to start off by saying and kind of clear the air on some things. Um, So we'll save our deep, dark, tough questions for a little bit later, Okay, Yeah, I, Um, I just I just needed time that, you know, after the whole show ended. Obviously, you know a lot had gone on there. Um, you know, I obviously you know, yeah, I should do the press to apologize for not really just being in headspace to do that, but I just wasn't, um, and I know Madison wasn't as well, And that was just a tough couple of days for us. Right after. Um, that was just kind of like the last thing on my mind. And um, obviously there was a lot of stuff that had happened between Madison and I right after that show and you know, into the next two days and then after that, you know, I just wanted to essentially just be there for my family. UM. I wanted us to just you know, come together and um support each other. We were going through a lot. There was a lot of you know, comments, all critics, everyone just it was going It was kind of crazy, it was insane, and yeah, I guess just press really was the last thing on my mind. And um, you know, fast forward now a couple of weeks, and I really like it. I know it probably sounds crazy, like I'm in a really really good place right now and I feel just really good, and um, I'm really happy to that you know that I do feel that way, because it wasn't that way for a while. Um, after everything kind of ended and then just you know, having to see you so much stuff and so much hate. That stuff's hard and that stuff like just really took a while to kind of like, you know, I knew I thought I had tough skin, and this, you know, really tested that and now I have even tougher skin. And um, yeah, I remember you know, finally reaching out and like you know, saying like listen, I'm ready to you know, kind of talk. And there's just there was so much stuff out there that just people were making all these claims and assumptions on just like you know, guesses. There were no facts, like no factual stuff, and so I'm all right, it's probably time for me to just clear some stuff up. And and so that's why I felt comfortable doing it. Um. Yeah, it's been a rolwind crazy, crazy experience. But well, and I will say this, I mean for people that come for the shows, it's hard to kind of fathom like what we go through. I think a lot of times, like any contestant who comes from the show kind of gets objectified, and people think that they know everything about us, and they have their opinions and their comments. And it's hard enough coming out of the show, especially as a lead, and having all of that attention fixated on you, and you have it coming in at all ends. You hear great things, new hear terrible things. I can't imagine not only that, but then having that come towards your family members too, and the people you love the most. Like I like props to you, and I hope that you and your family you know, have taken some time to talk and really sort things out and figure that out, because if anyone was coming from my mom like how people were coming from barb Oh, I would have lost it. Like there's no way I would have been able to handle that, and I would not have said cool, calm and collected by any means. So props to you, I hope I actually want to know. So you know, we saw your parents take on after the final rows and kind of where they stood in regards to your relationship with Madison. Where are things now with you and especially with your mom. Uh, we are in a really good place as well right now, and I it's something that like our relationship is just so close, like I sure you guys have with your mom and I just you know, I know she's just my number one fan and you know it's only wanted what's best for me. Um, that whole thing obviously just came from a place of love. Could the delivery of everything have been, you know, so different? Absolutely? You know she's the first one to admit that, but you know, from going down to that stage to or having that stuff happen on stage, and then you know, I didn't go home like for a couple because I was still in the hotel being kept there for a couple of days after. But when I did go home, you know, it was just more of a and the way my family dynamic kind of works is like we are so close and yeah, I did it kind of seem like a little much and a little dramatic when it was, you know, what transpired, But that's just like that's also my family, and like I feel like that's a lot of families to be honest in everyday life, just behind closed doors, you know, where people aren't going to agree all the time. Family members are going to just have their own opinions and be passionate about it. And after kind of reflecting on it, it almost like just made me even more proud of my mom that you know, she you know obviously is very outspoken and we'll speak her mind. And you know, being on live TV, being in that pressure situation and having all this pressure to kind of conform to like us maybe a possibly a certain narrative. The fact that she didn't and doing that out of her love for me is such a beautiful thing. Um you know, delivery aside, like that's something nice, respect the hell out of my mom for and something I wish I could be a little bit more like her in regards to just like putting your foot down and just like you know speaking, you know, your your too heart. So we're doing really good. Um, we have that relationship where you know, we come in and we give each other a hug and nothing is gonna nothing is going to get in the way of that, and it's all good. We'll always have each other's back. Um. You know, we're a family, and you know, those are the closest people to me and very lucky to have that kind of relationship, you know. I I'm glad that you guys are doing okay. I never had a doubt that you wouldn't be fine. I think things just needed to cool down. I think that you know, it's not to me. It was a cultural thing, which I understood. Yeah, and that's that's just in general. Who watches the show. They don't understand things. I agree, and I think, like you said, your mom agrees the delivery wasn't right, but I understood the passion and the intention behind it. Um. You know, I've reach out to your mom. I talked to your mom through so I definitely understand it all right. Happy our listeners. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I have butterfingers and I tend to spill quite a lot. And I don't know what it is, but I feel like every time I'm drinking red wine, I somehow get it on my clothes and usually I have to unfortunately throw out my favorite T shirt or I've even thrown out my favorite n M jeans because the red wine stains just won't come out. But no more, because I now have been using oxyclean, which is the go to product for tough stains on laundry and almost any other surface in your home. It's so versatile. You can use it to clean your bathroom tile and grout. You can use it to remove carbet stains. You can even clean outdoor patio furniture with it. In fact, there are more than one hundred and one ways to use oxyclean. Oxyclean can save items that you thought we're ruined forever. So next time you spill that red wine on your favorite T shirt, don't throw it out. You can add it to any laundry load for extra stain fighting power and save your clothes. You've got to try Oxyclean versatile stain remover for yourself to work your magic with oxyclean, just head to oxyclean dot com, slash try me and order a free sample. Again, that's oxyclean dot com, slash try m for a stain fighting sample while supplies last. That's oxyclean dot com slash try me. I do have a question, Yeah, from what your mom said at the finale, do you still think that mother knows best? And you know, we can go into it you guys want, but you know, the next two days with Madison and I, you know, we had a lot of conversations and at the end of the day, at the end of that second day, we essentially were just proving my mom right. And um, you know I've always heard that, yeah, mom's no best and you know the reason that says out there, and I think they do. I do have one main question. I mean, as you know, we did get hannah AND's take during the finale. The one question I have And so I told Hannah, Hannah and this too. Like watching that back, obviously I can empathize with her and relate to her because I went through something so similar. I want to know and this is one thing that and I told her this. I don't think when I was broken up with on TV and went through it all like I wasn't able to process it with the cameras there. I was so blindsided and just I really blacked out, like I legit, did not know what to say. And in her case, it seemed like she was much more vocal to you. She she had a lot more to say to you as I just hid in the bathroom and cried. But my question for you, and this is something that I had wanted to ask are during my or his after the final roles, and I just never did. When was the moment that it changed for you? Because during the proposal and that day and we haven't talked to Neil Lane seeing you, you looked so happy, so exctic, you were kissing the ring. You just seemed like complete one eighty from what we saw go down. And so when was that one moment for you where things clicked and you're like, this relationship isn't going to work out and I have to now end things with my fiance. It was, man, that was just like that was absolutely like I keep saying, those is the hardest week of my life. And I remember, yeah, that interaction I had, you know with Neil Lane before that had happened. I remember, you know, that their production was all setting up to film, and that was in my hotel room and I was like outside in the living room area, and before that happened, like I like made an excuse to go into my room and just get away from everyone for a second and just like close the door and just like really sat down and was like because I was just struggling like no other obviously in regards like what had happened with Madison and seeing if I could actually do this, like the heartbreak that I was feeling, Could I actually pull myself together? Is it something that I truly felt like I should be doing? And I remember sitting there thinking that was like my last chance to maybe go a different direction. And I just sat there for probably twenty minutes just in my own head like really like what do I do? What do I do? Just so confused. And I'm the reason I bring that up is just like this stuff like I'll just be so honest, like I'm not obviously proud of it, but these questions, you know, began probably even before I even propose, And I know, looking back on it now, that should have been like a clear sign to me, but I did know that I love Hannah Ann. I did know that I felt heartbreak in the past, and then I could get over it. I would get over it. And did I want to possibly let this temporary pain that, Yeah, I can't have time to process this right now like a normal relationship and grieve it, but I want to let this possibly take away something or prevent me from getting into something so beautiful down the road for the rest of my life. I made the decision to go forward, and I guess, you know, kind of convinced myself that I was ready to propose to Hannah Anne. And again, I'm not proud of that, but that's the truth. And I kept just filding on to the love that I had for her and just what the potential. And then I guess after the show's over, now you know, we would do happy couples, and you know, I got to see her, you know, three or four times, and during those visits, you know, I had I love like I love Hannah and I truly I'm such a big fan of Hannah Ann and I always will be. We've always had a great time together. I just think that slowly but sure that I just noticed that maybe we weren't as compatible as I thought we were. And I say that in regards possibly just like the two of us challenging each other in a relationship. I just didn't I didn't necessarily feel it as much as I thought I was going to UM in those next couple of meetings and listen, a little bit of it too was unresolved feelings for you know, for Madison, and that was the stuff that I struggled with like no other. So as crazy of an answer, you know, obviously it started even before UM and that's not easy to admit, but that's the truth, and so I lied. Now I have questions. I knew you were going to rage. Well, I I'm listening to you talk. Do you feel that you were pressured into proposing to Hannah m Ask? Yeah? I I think it was just my own self imposed pressure. I really do think that, Like, yeah, I did. I didn't need to come out of this? Was that no go ahead? Sorry, I didn't like need to go into the show and like come out of age and like if I don't like it really wasn't like that. But I don't know at that at the end there I just I saw such like a I really did I saw all the potential in the world for an amazing relationship. I had never ever felt, ever felt the love from someone like Hannah and and showed me ever in my entire life. And I was one of the biggest things that I was looking for coming into this process, and she showered that on me like no other. Similarly to how I've felt like I've given that to women in the past, it haven't you know, haven't reciprocated it to me. I finally found that, and I was like, I can't I can't lose this girl. Like this girl is like she's just amazing in every way, She's perfect in every way. It almost seems like too good to be true. But that's just who Hannahn is. And so I put a lot of pressure on myself. I mean, I'm a little bit from the show. Yeah sure I can. Yeah, I can admit that, and um, yeah, it's just it's a tough tough week for me. So Peter, that last week, especially that last day, then do you think, like, did it ever cross your mind to just say, you know, I still love Hannah Ann even though I am heartbroken from Madison leaving. But instead of committing and you know, getting down on one knee and giving her that ring. Did it ever cross your mind to just say, like, hey, let's stay together, let's see where this goes. Let's not put the pressure of an engagement on this relationship, but I still want to see where our relationship can go. It did. It totally did. And my thought process and that just was I felt a little bit of it, you know, and grant looking back, Hannah and probably would have, you know, wish that I would have done that, But in the moment, I was thinking, you know, it might just be I was trying to pull myself in Hannah and shoes and like if someone said that to me, like it would obviously pull me back and take a couple of steps back. Now thinking how serious you actually were in the relationship, and you know, a lot of this show too, it's like it's a beautiful, beautiful moment that you two can share together and remember for the rest of your lives. And while yes, I can admit that I was heartbroken and I was dealing with a lot of stuff at that time, again, I kept looking too what could be with us, and I didn't want to possibly take a beautiful moment that we could look back on it and be like so happy that I did do it and we have it documented now, you know, for for the rest of our lives. Like that was a big reason why I wanted to do the show, was you know, to hopefully have my story documented that I could pass down, you know, my kids and my grandkids and they could all see it. And again that's probably wasn't the best thinking, but that's what I was going through my head. So when we had Hannah Ann on the show, she you know, like she gave her side and her like how it affected her and everything. And one of the things that she said that really stood out to us was that when your season started, that's when you started to question things. Maybe you were already questioning them internally, but you started to say things to her that made her feel like, Okay, maybe we aren't where I thought we were. So did making the season back because like first first maybe first episode you had your date with Madison, I think they structure was different. So watching that first date, is that when you started to say, oh, I need to actually start telling her how I feel. Is that when it started for you? Because then and this is the follow up. The second episode was with Hannah Brown and then she made that comment on stage, Oh you felt like you need a closure with Hannah Brown? Right? Um? So I obviously was, you know, dealing with it internally in regards to just my feelings though from Madison at that point, and hadn't really vocalized that to her. Obviously. I when when I saw the first episode, it made it tough for me, It really didn't. Obviously, it was like a really great memory for me. It was a great first you know, one on one date with Madison. And that was again the first time that I opened up to Hannah and about kind of where I was struggling. And I struggled with that so much because that's the last thing I want to be putting on her is Yeah, She's like, you know, she's my person now and you should feel comfortable leaning on that person and sharing anything with them and you know, venting of them. But it's like that's so inappropriate and so weird and not what she wants to hear, um, especially them being the final two in the end. So I like, I was like, how do I go about this the right way? Um? But then I just continued to open up and really let her know, like where I was struggling and why I felt what I felt. I just felt like I needed to tell her that and she needed to know. And um. And then in regards to like you know with Hannah Brown, m listen on stage when she made those comments, but and she she brought up yeah, we uh brought up the closure with Hannah Brown. True. What that was in reference to though, was so we had watched the first two episodes I think like in December, we had gone like the copy before obviously it all aired, and we were watching it at our first Happy Couple weekend, and I guess Hannah Brown had been given the copy too, say she watched it. And then Hannah Brown had reached out to me on Instagram and direct message me and said that, um, hey, like I had just seen the first episode that was really rough, tough to watch, like you know, um, like, how are you doing with all that? Like I don't know how how I feel about it? And so then when I got that, that's when I went to Hannah Ann and I was like, hey, listen, Hannah Brown and reached out to me, I want to see if you're comfortable with me like continue to talk and possibly give her closure give me closure and all this because of how everything ended, would you be okay with that? Um? And she, you know obviously was a little like uneasy about it, understandably, and but finally I was like, listen as long just don't see her in person, but yeah you can, you guys can talk about it and and you know, handle all that stuff. So I said, okay, thanks, and then you know, Hannah and I, Hannah Brown and I just continue to talk through things. And she had been getting some like negative reactions from the you know, from the first episode in the second one when I actually started airing too, and so we're just being supportive of each other. I've always been, you know, that way for Hannah Brown as she's been for me. And that's what that was. In regards to what kind of closure in that scenario were you looking for, because it seems like the way that you guys left it on the show when you know she was in your dressing room and who has had that moment, it seems like it ended there. So what kind of closure for me as a viewer? Like what was missing? Like what did you both still need? I guess, well, I know you can't speak for Hannah Brown, but what did you need in that instance? Right? Um? And when I when I like, I guess when I say closure, Um, I just like I had brought that word up to Hannah and just because Hannah Brown was expressing to me that she didn't feel good about watching the episode, So like for me, I was, you know, I was, I was moved on and I I really was, and I was you know, at the end of the show, I kept thinking, to be honest, I kept thinking, they're gonna bring Hanah Brown at the finale and they were going to somehow sure, why not possibly see you know what I would do? But I really was like I had had the closure that I needed. Was it tough to watch? Absolutely? But closure wasn't one hundred It wasn't necessarily for me. Um. But back to that first episode and that whole date. Honestly, Um, we just ran out of time and we had to go to a night portion of the date later on, and a conversation had to get wrapped up. It wasn't necessarily an our doing. We were told we had to, we had to finish it, and and so kind of left just like it was a little bit weird and odd because here we are and we're obviously two people that have had strong feelings for each other in the past, and we're reminiscing on that and not knowing what to do. I told people, like in that moment. It didn't get aired, but I told her, like, I'll leave the show right now. I got to the Bachelor if like there's something you wanted to sue, and you know, you go from that and you have that serious, serious conversation and then it literally just was like, all right, guys, the time's up. We have to we have to wrap this. And so we gave each other a hug and and just like wish each other well, and then I left and that's how it ended. It was like, not the most ideal way to end something like that. Yeah, well in that on the show too, And what we saw is that basically when Hannah, Hannah b said that, you know, single out the end of this talk to her. So since then, I mean, obviously we don't know what's going on with her and Tyler and whatnot, but I mean, does that off her soul stand or have you even heard from her to this day? We've talked since I did get her number from when she started DM and me on Instagram, and you know, we've just been very very supportive of each other. I saw her at Dylan and Hannah's engagement party and just really just really cordial and um, yeah, there's no love loss there at all. And she's just been someone that I've been able to lean on a lot, and she's like literally always been there for me. Does any advice I needed? Just event like, she's been someone that I've been able to go to and is a really safe space and very grateful for her doing that for me. But there's nothing there between the two of you. No, nothing, nothing romantically as you know, pursuing each other. No. Great, So Madison, wait are you done with Hannah Anne? Yes? So yeah, we can I think rocking and rolling. Well, oh wait, I guess I will ask you. Have you spoken to Hannah Ann since the finale? Not since the finale? So just when? When? When the breakup day happened? Um, you know, she obviously left and then later that day it was you know, I just sent her you know, long text was kind of obviously just apologizing again, just saying essentially that I will always me and my family will always be there for her no matter what. And I sent it a long text to the you know, her family as well. We had a group text chain going then heard back from anyone. I called Hnnah and once later that day. Obviously she didn't you know, she didn't pick her up, she didn't really want to talk to me, and um, yeah, so then I saw her afar. I talked with her dad a couple of times. He had called me um on two occasions leading up to a far just kind of trying to ask about, um, where my head was at and what possibly might happen, what he could expect, just as you know, protection protecting his daughter, which I understood, um, and I tried to give him as much as I could, but obviously contra actually I wasn't necessary allowed to do so much. So that was that was tough for me. Um. But I haven't talked to Hannah and after yeah, and I mean I guess I get that, and rightfully so like her new brand now too is you know, she stood up to you and you know, found her voice and you know, moved on from that. So I think it will you know, be backtracking exactly. You know, that's no, I believe me. I want her to just thrive and just absolutely have the most amazing, beautiful life ever find her person and I treat you like I love that girl. I always will and no matter how she feels about me, Um, I'll always always want the best herd is Kelly friends with Hannah Anne and Madison. She yeah, she is, Um was she and maybe she's not now seeing the new circumstances. No, she Kelly and Hannah Anna talked m and they're they're they're very Yeah, Corgil, it's been very friendly. Um, you know, she's uh, Hannah Anne's been you know, I guess understanding of everything from what I've heard, and I know they have talked. I don't know about with Madison, but um, I do know that Hannah Anne and Kelly are good good. I like to hear that. I want to know. I mean, obviously we don't what's going on with filming future seasons because of this whole coronavirus going on. But like, if Hannah Ann or Madison or any of the other girls like Kelly or I'm sorry Kelsey for that matter, where to go on Paradise or potentially become Bouchart in the future, would that be weird for you or are you at the point where you do truly wish them the best, and you're just like you know what you do, you I promise, like I really am at that point. I still see like I know how I felt about them just a few weeks ago, a few months ago. And I say, I've said that before, like I was asked that question since Chris Hannah Brown's season, Like it's the same for them. I will always have rather than my heart for them, like they are two very important people to me that through two months we had an amazing, amazing experience together in relationship. But I trust me, Like I would that be weird obviously seeing them probably with someone else, Yeah, I think so, But I really I just want them to be happy and um just want the best. I think it would be weird if it depending on who it was, right, Like if you saw them with another Batter Nation person, it would be like whoa if it was yeah, it's one of the guys I think from like Hannah Brown season, it might be a little bit stranger, But I can't right then, you'd be pot kettle. Look look where you are right now. You know exactly exactly. And I'm not trying to be hypocrite at all. So um, okay, Madison, So where to even start with this? I will preface this by saying I was so pro Matt, you and Madison together until you all had the second date and she spoke about her faith. Totally fine, I'm a Christian as well. And then I guess it was the next week where then she told you she gave you the ultimatum call it which you want, it's what it was, and but didn't but then didn't tell you that she was saving herself for marriage. Okay, So that's when things started to change to me, because things don't make sense, and I think, and my hope is to get some clarity here because what you guys say, and by that I mean you and Madison based on what she does or you do, doesn't add up and doesn't make like. They don't match up. Your words don't match up with your actions, and I think that's where I get confused. So then I have to deduce, like logically, try to figure out Okay, well, then this is what makes sense based on actions, right, actions speak louder than words. So I'm trying, maybe Becca, you go in, because I'm trying to figure out where I want to start with this line of questioning to try to understand your relationship with Madison. Well, and I think this is a good point. You use the word ultimatum, Rachel and Peter. When she threw that out there, you said, you know, I agree to disagree with you. We haven't had a conversation with you, and we haven't had one with Madison yet. I think when that episode aired, I believe that week we probably had to Chris Harrison or something, and he obviously give his take, but it's not you or Madison. And so you felt like it wasn't an ultimatum. But what makes you say that? Just because if I were to say that, and I feel like I would just be a hypocrite because the very first night of the entire you know, the show, that's opening night in the Mansion. In my opening toast to all the women, I asked them to please, whatever is on your heart, always feel comfortable sharing that with me. Don't hold back, whether it's good, bad, ugly. You think it's gonna hurt my feelings, piss me off, or make me happy, or you're feeling it for me. Please, I want this to be an open connection where you can feel comfortable. And so yeah, it was later, way later on in the whole journey there, but all that Madison was doing, she wasn't telling me you have to do this or this. She simply had something on her heart that she felt I should know. We were in a relationship, and in my opinion, that's completely acceptable for someone to express how they're feeling. And if I were to do something, it would make it really difficult for them to continue and they possibly have to reevaluate. She was never making a you have to do this or that. She said, and this is how I'm going to feel. I feel like you should know this. It's important because we are dating. If you do this, then this right, that's an ultimatum. You can call it whatever you want. It doesn't mean that she can't express it to you, like to express how she's feeling, you know. And I don't want to argue whether it is an ultimatum or it isn't. My issue more so is did you feel a certain way knowing that you know you and Madison have this relationship. You constantly defended her with your family, saying you don't know Madison like I do. So obviously you guys shared a lot that we didn't get to see and we didn't really see the development of your relationship. So did it not bother you that she could be so upfront about everything except that, No, that did And I asked her, you know, why she didn't express that stuff to me earlier on why she waited so long? And I do think that it would have probably made a difference in possing my actions moving forward. I can't say for sure, because I truly wanted to stay so present and I'm intentional with each of the other two relationships going forward into that week. But yeah, I question that, and her response to me was and I can I can understand it is the timing of our relationship started off with the first date. We were the very first one on one. Maybe not something you bring up on the very first date when you okay, so it wasn't going to happen there group dates during the daytime, it doesn't happen. You're having a fun time doing something in the night portions if you do see the person, because it's not always guaranteed, it's a quick maybe ten minutes, it's not necessarily something super super allowable to have like a really deep important conversation. I agree past there the next date wasn't. The one on one was in Peru and an amazing part of the day, and then the night portion she did open up a lot to me about stuff and her faith, and she could have brought it up there. I could have seen that was the one opportunity for her to do it if she wanted to. I think I maybe, And she told me, She's like, I wasn't expecting you to kind of like have a conversation go that way. When I expressed her that I was falling in love with her, I think that might have thrown her off a little bit in regardless of what she fully wanted to get out. Maybe maybe not. And then it just to be honest, it's like, you look for the times where it could have been really appropriate because we don't get time off camera for her to have told me it. It was kind of difficult just how the timing worked out. Do you think religion is a difficult conversation to discuss with someone when you don't know what their belief is. Yeah, exactly, I do too. And when she had that second date with you, I thought, Wow, good for her. You know, she's like, this is what I believe, this is my faith this is what I want out of a husband, and to me, it was the golden opportunity to express all of it. And that's why I'm very curious as to what you thought about that, because I thought, well, why would you hold that back? You have admitted that it probably would have affected your decision moving forward. You don't know for sure because hindsight we just don't know, but it would have made you kind of go, huh, okay, that's that's I wasn't expecting that, especially since you were You said you wanted the women to be open from night one, and you gave that speech to the women that first night. You also were very honest with them. You're a very open person, intimate, believe in having that intimacy with your significant other, and you don't you don't hold back from that. I mean, you're in front of your family. So I think my question was when when she said when she didn't tell you, but then, as from the audience, we knew at that point that she was saving herself for marriage. I just didn't think that it was fair to go on this season with a man who has expressed is sexual, has expressed that intimacy is important to him, so It's not like you're going on Sean Lowe's season, right, He's going on your season. Okay, Peter sex at all in Bill four times, blah bla blah blah blah blah blah. It's just saying, that's how you were, That's how you were build America. Get it. Yeah, So she comes on your season knowing that she wants to save yourself, knowing that you're this person. Did you ever question yourself? Why would you come on my season knowing that I'm this way only to possibly eliminate yourself for that reason? Definitely question? It brought up a lot of questions to her in kind of reference to that, and I think to kind of start with, um, you know, I remember asking her, like, so, why did you because I've heard a lot of people saying, you know, you you most likely knew Peter and like what he kind of was about and the person he was and what he was comfortable and what he wasn't a little with doing. Why did you feel like that would be the right person to go on the Bachelor for it? And you know, she came back and she listen that just it is annoying to her to hear because She's never been someone that wanted to judge, Like I truly don't feel like Madison is a judgemental person like at all. She can be very you know, prideful, and that's like a great quality too, but she it's not someone that I think is is a huge judger. And you know, she said she had Listen, I didn't want to just because of what your past was, like, I'm not going to judge you at all and that hold anything against you, like I if this was going to work for us, let's take from that point on moving forward of of you know, any possible judgment if you wanted to use. She had you know, she actually had been someone that had been I guess nominated by like a family friend to come on the show. And it wasn't necessarily her at first, and she didn't know she wanted to do it, and she thought about it a lot and kind of let the process run and then until she had to actually make a decision if this is something she wanted to do, and then she was you know, from what she told me, it was something that she just decided like why not. You know, this this could be a you know, an amazing opportunity to go find someone. Why not? Well, work, I have no idea, but why not? I think maybe a little bit of it, if I had to guess, was her in the beginning thinking I don't know if this is my person, but like, this could be a really cool opportunity. I'll be fair. But I do know that that quickly changed with her, and she quickly realized, No, this is someone that I really actually am feeling something for. And again, I don't think there's really anything wrong with that. Because people that you want to say, oh, I came on just for you, and I knew I was in love with you from the beginning, I don't know if I buy so her honesty with that is something I appreciated. Yeah, I'm not trying to like defend her too much in all this. I'm just very curious. We haven't had an opportunity to talk to her. So I'm just curious as to what your thoughts were about that, because I totally agree with that you have no idea at the beginning how it's going to be, and then you slowly start to see yourself fall, which is usually in most cases, and but then my thought is still, okay, so why couldn't you be fully open about what is so important to you and what you so value. If you value it like that, why are you waiting until you know the thirteenth hour right to finally say something. I wish I get confused. I do wish you would have I and I think I think maybe the fear might have been she would have gone home and she didn't want to go home for whatever reason that may be. That's it's, oh my god, if I tell him this, maybe I'll go home. Yeah, that's that's totally fair. Um, I she wouldn't have gone home, but I could totally see her in that moment. Yeah, having those thoughts. Do you think And this is something that we've talked about obviously without you and trying to say like the what if, so say you get you got to that fantasy suite week. Obviously, that week in itself was very different for your season because this was the one time all of the girls were still living together under the same roof during that very weird intimate week. Had it gone differently, and I know you don't necessarily have a say in the dates and who goes win, but had Medicine gone first, had you spent that first overnight with her, maybe just talking, maybe just getting to know one another, and went on after that with the other two women. Do you think anything would have panned out differently? Do you think she still would have had that moment where she potentially was like, look, I can't do this, I have to remove myself or do you think that would not have taken place had she gone first? Yeah, I know it would. It wouldn't or it would have changed things that she would have gone first, and I would have known that obviously, we would have probably most likely I discussed that in the fantasy suite. Even look now, knowing what I know, if I would have had a fantasy suit with her, you know, we wouldn't have at the night with each other. We would have she would have been comfortable with talking with me, you know, for a couple of hours. But that's something also that you know, she had mentioned me she is saving her marriage. Is just that kind of time just spent with you know, someone overnight, even with nothing physically happening. Um, something I can totally respect. But yeah, if I if I would have had her first, I would had a little bit more knowledge about everything. And again, the hardest part for me was I always tried my best to be so intentional with each relationship and just get lost in that relationship. That's what I did from the day one till the very end. That's how I felt I could actually make this work for me. And but yeah, if you asked that question, yeah, I think it would have been different. But if so, if that were the case, then and you know you had Medicine's fantasy sweet night. First move on to the next two girls. I mean, because you yourself admitted when she asked you that night, you know, like have you been intimate with these two other women? And you and I will say, I think you handled that situation. Yeah you did. Like kudos to you for how you approached it, because that's really really tough situation had like would would you have gone in and still been intimate with those girls because of you know, it's it's an important part to relationships, as you've said yourself, And so I don't under like, I can't imagine you not having the same reaction in moment and evening with the other two girls. Like for me, it's like, if you want it's going to be intentional, If you're going to be intentional and put yourself in every single relationship, right, and it's like you want to exhaust every relationship till you get to the end. If that's where it needs, if that's what you need to do to get there, to figure out each relationship and what is truly best for you at the end of this, you probably would have still had to do the same things. And so in my mind then it makes it tough to see like had she gone first, yes, maybe you would have gone into the next two nights and the next two dates with the other two women, knowing how she would have felt. But at the end of the day, like things still probably would have taken place to I think, like allow for her to still have that moment of being like, maybe I do need to remove myself. No, I think you're right. Yeah, I can't say for sure what I would have done. I guess I'll take that back. I do. I believe it possibly could have changed things. It definitely, Listen would have given it a lot more gravity if I would have known that stuff before. And Listen, Peter, would you have pulled a Colton and just ended the season event like I'm all in with this one girl. No, I'm not gonna say that, but I just again, it would have just given it a lot more gravity the whole situation. And but then what you guys are saying, that's what I said as well, Like while I was, you know, on this show, like I wanted to be intentional, I wanted to get lost in that relationship and explore everything I needed to. I've always felt, and I still feel, like intimacy is a huge important part of relationship. I have different views, obviously than I see in regards to that and what I'm saving it for not saving it for. And that's totally fine that we have those different views. But for me, I guess, like you say, yeah, I say, swine, twine, We'll never know because I'll never be put in that situation again. She says that you're not compatible. She talks about you guys not being compatible. There's just too many differences. You just have two different lifestyles. Whether she realized that with you, with talking to your family, that was the conclusion that she came to, and so she felt it was best to self eliminate. I actually agreed with that decision. So then we see what happens move forward. You engaged to Hannah Anne, you break up with Hannah Anne, Then the moment you break up with Hannah, Anne, what is your thought? Is your thought I can go pursue Madison or you did you reach out to her? Tell the truth, because I've seen these rumors that apparently y'all have mutual friends and y'all were hanging out. So go ahead. Yeah, no, we So we do have a mutual friend that she had met on the first date, So one of my close friends from high school. She had met her on that first date of my parents dalarnual ceremony, and they had stayed close and connected. We would talk, you know, that mutual friend. I guess both of us obviously on our own and you know she did it. My friend did a good job of respecting each other's privacy and not like she wouldn't tell me anything that Madison was saying like she wouldn't. He was really respecting that. That's why I knew I could obviously trust her to do the same. Did I have like when the relationship ended it with Hannah, and did I have thoughts about possibly reaching out? I did, but I just feel like that that wasn't my place to do it. She had left me. I did not leave her, and if anything, like that was ever going to happen. It was like, I just didn't see how it'd be right for me to go reach out her, like she'd already said no to me once, and so that's why I didn't. So prior to breaking up with Hannah Anne, you you yourself had no contact with Madison up until that point, correct, And then afterwards then I guess I'm confused. And so we see Chris Harrison go to Madison bring Madison back to you, and you didn't expect to see her. So did you have a conversation with Chris to be like, yeah, maybe go get hurt. Did you know any of this was going down? I knew none of that was going down. The only thing I knew about was one of the one of my producers, had just mentioned to me, like, hey, you see some pictures Madison was like a film crew right now. I guess they went to like in Auburn, in her hometown, and they couldn't tell me what it was about. And that's kind of like they just wanted to give me heads up, Hey you might see some pictures, like don't like freak out. I was like, okay, but did you think she was going to be bachelorette. Did she think it? No, did you think that? I definitely thought there was a chance for that, and I guess that's where did I think possibly something could be going on in regards to like me, I did, but I didn't know for sure. So that's why when she did surprise me, I obviously was very shocked, and I expect to see her there. I was. I was told I was gonna talk to Chris that dad, and so like they just had me doing some b roll looking around and and then I hear the heels come in and like that. But and then that's my soul Madison. Yeah, that interaction was weird. I'll just be honest, y'all. Didn't I knew you were caught off guard. I could tell you were surprised. Yeah, but she knew she was coming to see you, right, and it was just off like she didn't seem that excited. I mean, she we had just seen her say that she still loves you, right, obviously you still loved her. You didn't express it then, but we learned it. I just and you, being the person that you are, just just very passionate, y'all just seem like, okay, here we are. It just didn't seem it was kind of underwhelming. M Yeah, what what what was that? I agree? And because I even I think even to on stage at Afar people, I've heard comments like they just the chemistry didn't really seem there at all. Oh yeah, it was not Okay, it wasn't you're you're right, You're totally right. I don't know if it was just nerves it was it was just being you know, uncomfortable. Um, I don't know what it was that you guys bring up a really valid point. Yeah, it seemed a little odd. I agree. Do you think it had something to do with and Rachel and I think talked about this on the same podcast that we had Hannah Ann on. So basically, I think my like as a viewer, I felt like I was lacking in that entire ending scenario because basically Madison had removed herself because she felt like, you guys weren't compatible, your lifestyles didn't maybe line up, and she just couldn't see it working in the long run. So she then removes herself at the end, only to then come back after talking with Chris, and you know, she told Chris like, I love Peter, who knows where this could go. Let's see. So she then comes to surprise you in La. But really, like what was going through my mind that entire time was that, like nothing's changed up until that point, Like guess maybe she still loves you, know, has those feelings, but if ultimately she felt like the lifestyles weren't going to be compatible, like that's still the case, Like nothing is any different besides here saying like, oh, Peter ended his engagement with Hannah Anne. So I feel like if I were to be you or her and this is just me being me and how I would react, I would like I probably wouldn't have gone out to La because I would have still been like, Okay, yeah, you can love somebody, but at the end of the day, some relationships just don't work out because you aren't compatible. And so for me watching it, I was like, what is going on? Because she was very like adamant about one thing and that thing is still present, but now she's doing something to try and see if it could maybe work. It just it didn't line up, and maybe that's what was causing the tension and why it seemed off. And before you answer to piggyback on what Becca saying, is she eliminates herself because you had been intimate during the same week with another woman, and then you propose to a woman you obviously are intimate with her. You've commits possibly spending the rest of your life with this person, which is even more than just you know, being intimate with women during fantasy week. And she can come back after that, but not come back but not deal with what she dealt with when the season was going on. Yeah, those are two good points, and I think real quick on the second one. I think that probably was a reason that it seemed very uncomfortable and from her obviously for me, I was probably picking up on that body language and just the vibe. But I do know that, like you know, stuff that didn't make it, that didn't air, We had more of a conversation than aired. You know, she did feel, you know, like a little bit uncomfortable in regards to me, just it was tough for her to take the fact that I had been engaged. That was hard for her. Swell and obviously coming out and making an effort to come and post to see if there's still something here with me was uncomfortable for her because she didn't want to be stepping on Hannah Anne's toes, and I remember her being like very thoughtful of that and kept like just wanting to make sure that she if we were going to do this, it'd be like done the right way. So I think I get it. Like it it seems a little odd. Why could she be not okay with Fantasy Suit Week but coming after, you know, an engagement just ended. I definitely think she was uncomfortable about that. But was she? Did you ask her that question? Yeah? And she told me that, Like she straight up told me, like in our conversation that she she didn't know the best way to go about this. Um she had obviously when she had gone back home, she had started really processing everything that had just happened, and you know, she realized that her feelings for me weren't going away. She like really struggled that for a while, and kind of to what you were saying, Beccau, Yeah, ultimately, listen, did our differences and lack of compatibility be the reason that we stop things? Yes, But she admitted to me that she thought, like her exact words were, and obviously like I'm very different than you know, possibly her dad or whatnot. But and all the respect in the world for her dad, but she told me, she's like, I kept thinking that I wanted someone just like my dad, and that's kind of how like I just grew up and people that I've dated, and then after reflect and everything in the months that ensued, she said that she realized that she doesn't need anyone like her dad because she's just like her dad. And the fact that I am, you know, different in a lot of ways actually were qualities that she realized why she fell for me. And you know, she admitted that, m And so that's I think why you know, she elected to kind of like restart this and give this, you know, hopefully another chance with us again. Ultimately, when we really just had an honest, honest conversation with each other the two days after Afar, and it was just me and her, and we said, listen, let's completely remove our heart, our feelings from this conversation and only speak logically about if this is possible, can this work? And it was it was no, And yeah, go ahead, Peter, I'm sorry. No, But like I mean, I just I think that what you saw there was was was two people that obviously had strong feelings for each other. And yeah, there was a reason issue why we ended, but weren't really ready to completely give up on those feelings. And again from what she realized, like you know, she said she had dated a lot of other guys that were different from me, that were like what she thought she wanted, they weren't working out for a certain reason, and so this is something that she realized, you know, before she came out. Yeah, I mean it gets it makes sense to me. It's just what doesn't make sense is okay, So you'll have that talk, glad. That was one of my questions. So glad to know after we saw you guys meet for the first time since the breakup, you guys had a full out conversation and everything. That's great. So I would imagine that you continue to talk from then up until the finale, which is kind of why the message you kept giving them, like Becca and I and other outlets is we don't know how this is going to end. We don't know how this is going to end. So I'm curious as to what was the game plan coming into the finale, Like what was it supposed to be? How were you guys supposed to because I think the most shocking thing is two days later, y'all are done. It's like, what the hell was all that? Or you stood up to your family, you know, you profess your love for each other and how difficult you know what's going to be, and you're gonna work at it. Only for two days later, you guys ended, Which is why I think a lot of people thought it was staged. I'll yeah that, and it was not. Yeah, I got that, I've heard that, but it was not stage. I can promise you guys that We we didn't see each other until this on stage Life finale. We did talk. Obviously, we faced time a lot, and we just had a lot of those you know, talks that we needed to have that I wish you would have had way sooner than we could have had in the Fantasy suite, you know, with time off camera, you know, it's kind of crazy. But really the main the first time that her and I ever spent time alone off camera was when after the show ended, and that was just like crazy for like such a serious relationship for that to have been the first time. But we really didn't know what we were going to do, and we knew that, like obviously there were still feelings there, but going into the finale, we really didn't know what we're gonna do, and I don't like looking back on it, I'm confused as why we didn't, like I didn't see each other before. Um, it was an option, and like I I wanted to do it, and you know, I remember her saying stuff like, well, maybe you should just like make this like really authentic on stage and like not like have that be the first time and and I saw I saw some of that like validity and um, but I remember, like before I saw Listen, I remember there too. Before I was like, I think I need to see her. I need to see her. And at that time, oh yeah, heater for somebody. I becka, back me up on this. When you love somebody and you have those happy couple weekends or you haven't seen anybody, you are itching there is like you are dying to see that person inside and the and I get you saying I wanted to see her. I wanted to see her, and to hear that she was like, maybe we should wait because it's more authentic on stage. Are you putting on a show or are you trying to get to know each other. That's where I have the conflict and you guys had already had so much lost time, and there was so much time that need to be made up, I think, to make to really solidified the relationship. And so if I was the two of you, I would have like from the moment she had flown out to La to try to rekindle things with you, that entire time, I would have been like, look, we need to be together. We need to see if we can make this work. We need to make up for all of the lost time there needed, like I think, for a relationship and for like you want to be with someone, as Rachel said, you want to spend those eppy couple moments together. And so to me, like I wouldn't have reacted that same way I would. I would not. I would have been so terrified to get on stage and have there be so many unknowns like I would have won. That's why it was awkward. I would not have you by my side, Peter, to really back each other up, to support one another, to feel super solid in that. And so I mean, and if you had that unity to do it, and it wasn't, it wasn't all her, I like I agreed to it too, Like I it wasn't just her all this happened. I don't you agreed. I just think the common thing theme that a lot of people saw is it looked like you were giving one hundred percent and one hundred percent wasn't being given back to you. That's just kind of how it comes off to an audience. So I'm very curious as we know how your family felt about Madison. Yeah, we saw it all play out. I don't really want to get in all that, but I have to ask why did your family feel a certain way about Madison? And I mean like not just a feeling like it was. It was like a steadfast thing and it went from father, mother, brother, you know, let your mom tell it, friends as well. So why were there feelings so strong against Madison? I think all of that stuff really did start in Australia when they when they were out there and it was like the family visits and the you know, Hannah Anna gone first and that went she just knocked it out of the park. My family fell in love with her immediately, obviously I knew why, and which just was such a great day and the second day comes to Madison and just boom is granted this is all my doing. That got her in this headspace, and I can I can take that responsibility. But she was not in a good headspace at all. And like the talks about you know, being outside the house for three hours waiting, having my parents wait was one hundred percent try that was that was the case. And I was essentially trying to like convince her why. I felt like we needed it, like at least put this stuff behind us and talk to my family. You know, they had just flown halfway around the world. If we go in and if I go in and say, listen, Madison just can't talk right now, like that's just not going to be a good look. So she didn't want to talk to your family. She didn't. Yeah, she didn't feel like she was in the right headspace to be able to go do that, okay, And so I, you know, I understood why she was still in the way she did. I knew we had to work on our own stuff, but that's just the way the show goes and the schedule, and like that was the one day we had allocated to go spend time with my family, and so I did my best to try to convince her why. You know, she finally, you know, realized Okay, you know she was gonna do it for me, and and then we went inside and obviously just off it was off to a bad start. You know, we my family obviously was you know, obviously annoyed. I think anyone would be like waiting three hours just doing nothing to have that conversation. It just got off to a bad start. Just immediately. You could feel the vibe was not the same with Hannah Anne. And you know they had, I guess known a little bit now about the differences that we had had I expressed to them, you know, the day prior about when I was talking about both women that you know, there had been some issues that Maddie and I were going through because of what had happened with the Fantasy Sweet Week, and so they had already seen, like started to see these differences. And they just being my family, and the one on one conversations I had with each of them, like we're just like, they didn't see this working. They just didn't see it working. And they saw that yes, she was an amazing girl, but the two of us were just too different, and they were just looking out for me, and you know, you see that passion kind of come out on stage and everything. And I think I do think as much as I can, you know, defend Maddie and everything, and I do think that she could have coming out on stage apologize, you know, really quick apology to to my parents about the last time she had seen him and what had gone down. I think that would have gone a long way, and I really really do, um you know, unfortunately that did happen. That wasn't the case. And that's kind of why that's really because that's the only time my parents saw Maddie like that was really where that passion and that just like them being just like, this is not going to work, Bud, you gotta like you gotta understand that that's where that came from. Peter. So your mom said this during the finale, but she said that day after, you know, waiting a couple of hours and finally sitting down with Maddie, that she asked her flat out, like do you love my son? And she had said no. And that's what you So when your mom had told you that, and maybe and I think she had said that she your brother had asked Madison the same thing and Madison had said the same answer. So when you knew that what was going through your your brain and knowing like, Okay, you know she's still here, but she's been on the fence about sticking around her leaving, and now she's admitting that she's not in love with me to my family, Like, what was going through your brain? I was so confused because literally an hour before outside she said she did love me. That was the first time she told me. I remember like being ridiculous because I was like, it's all I've been wanting to hear the entire time. And then like I just we were having a very serious conversation and like I just completely lost all seriousness because I was kind of happy and giddy. So she just told me that outside, and that's why my mom told me that. I was just very very confused and shocked because I'm like, what she just told me she did? And then but that's that's another thing. That's that's another thing of why my mom was, you know, very passionate about what she was saying. Was you hear she has Hannah Anne, Her and her hit it off like no other. Hannah's expressing how she does feel about me and she can totally see this with me, and then it's a literally complete opposite, you know, with Maddie, and you know her saying that she didn't love me and that she couldn't see an engagement in the next couple of days. That part, I will say, I get why Maddie couldn't see an engagement after how strongly she felt about fantasy like intimacy. I get that. A couple days later, that's not ideally how you want to be proposed to knowing what happened a couple I get that, But I do know that like that went a long way with my mom to like not be the biggest fan of that relationship. When when Maddie told her that, well, then I guess where's the disconnect? Like why did she just tell you that? And then she said no to your family? Did you ever ask her about that? Yeah? And I think I don't know. I think it's like semantic, all right. It was just like she I guess the way my mom had asked it was like, are you madly head over heels in love with my son or something like that, And I guess that made Maddie say no. I don't know. It was just a confusing day. I don't Yeah, it's it sounds very confusing. And it sounds like you're better off. I don't want to see anybody fail. Yeah, but it sounds like you guys are better separate than together. Yeah, if you could, because I know that we were supposed to talk to you after the finale, and obviously nobody saw it going the way that it did. And Becca and I totally respected the fact that this is personal at this point and it's not about doing a podcast, Like, we care about you and we want you to be okay at the end of the day. So I don't want to get into the details of your conversation with Madison, but after you got off stage, and obviously there was some you know, you guys were upset and emotional. Did you know that it was over at that point? No, So we got off stage, I remember we were both in a bad headspace, just like down We walked up to like the changing room areas where we were waiting before it, just her and I. We had a quick moment just with each other. We just hugged each other and just kind of like we're supporting each other. Then we decided to talk to some producers. Um, at that point, I don't from my side, I didn't think that it was it was over, over or anything. U. We then separated. I went back to my hotel, She went back to her hotel, called her parents for a little bit, then came back to my hotel. We spent a couple of hours and just you know, we're there for each other. Didn't really have a serious conversation about figuring this out, but just wanted to be there for each other and spend time. Fast forward to the next day. I didn't see her mom had flown out, and spent the day with her. The next day, the second day is when I went over to her hotel and we spent just like you know, six hours probably just talking. And that was when they had that sentiment going into the conversation that this is this is it, this is not this is unfortunately as sad as it is, like it's not going to work as much as like maybe we might want it to have worked. And that was the day where we both I think knew that it was it was over. So you guys agree to do an Instagram post to kind of announce the same time And then what did you do after that? Did you go home? Yes? Um? So that day was when I left her hotel. Um I went straight home, and I was the first time I saw my family and m first just you know, went in, gave him a hug and just like told him I loved him and everything and um, and then expressed him what had just happened with with Mattie and I and what we had decided to do and um, you know kind of began that whole healing process with my family and everything and just sticking together. But yeah, that was the first day I went home. And then she went to go play board games with Selena Gomez. So I know, I didn't know that actually until the TMZ guys told me that. But um was that who Toulture I went from? I know, Jesus um I had found out. So she had told me that night that she was going to go spend some time with one of her friends, one of her good girlfriends that was living in la Um. Talking to Maddie later after because we had text here and there after was she told me like listen, I know how I guess how that could look. But like she did go over to her friend's place and her friend just ended up being really good friends with Selena, and I guess Selena said something about you know, hey, we're like going to my grandmother's house play board games, like come over here and something. They went over there. That's what I heard you. I believe it. I believe it. So have you and Maddie staying content contact since all of that? Or is it pretty much you know you've shut the door. You guys have both moved on. Yeah, we talked. We text for a little bit after, and you know, it was sad. You know, there was obviously like you know, missing each other kind of stuff like that and whatnot. And um, you know I remember she'd like send me like a video and it's just like it was. It was tough, but we we we both knew it was over. And then um kind of just all ended. Yeah, like we all right center one thing and like I never really heard any came back and like okay, yeah, like this is I gotta stop doing this. And then um, and then the little Kelly stuff happened, and you know, I came out here to be here for her, and yeah, I had sound like a text to Madison just kind of explaining everything so she could hear it from me, and she was like really you know brigg and rock Star and under you know, wasn't like trying to be even bigtive it or anything that I didn't think it was like, wasn't trying to be mean about it. Um, and just like kind of like told me that, so like like I appreciated that, and uh, yeah, then I haven't talked to her since. So, Becca, I don't know if I've ever asked you this question before or I've even said this, but so, Peter, I'm directing this to you, and Becca, you can answer too. I in Fantasy Suite, I asked all of my guys if I didn't choose them, would they be the bachelor? Like I wanted to. It wasn't really a trick question. It was just more of I'm very curious to see how you would respond to this. And so Beca, did you ask your guys? Well? So, when I had fantasy suits, I only had two because I had sent Jason home prior to spending the night with him. Um, so I had Garrett and Blake. Had I gone a different route and ended up with Blake, Hell, no, would Garrett have been the Bachelor? There's no way. No. Garret wouldn't have done he would, you know? And well and I do know. I mean Blake was in talks to potentially be the Bachelor um along with some of the other guys when Colton season happened. So, um, I'm sure he would have said. Yes. I never asked him that, but yeah, I know Garrett would have. You paid Garrett one million dollars and he would have not been the Bachelor. I think Brian would have would have done it. Um. So I'm going somewhere with this. I'm asking you, Peter, Yeah, do you think that because we kind of touched on this, but we didn't go into this when you were told that the cameras were at Madison's UM and I said, oh, did you think that she was going to be asked to be the bacherette? Do you think that if she was asked she would have done it? No? I don't. What about Hannah Anne Um? Yeah, okay, what about Kelly Um? No, Kelly, no one. So why do you think Hannah Anne would have and not the other two? Well? I guess so, I to be fair, I didn't actually ask them. So like my final three of this, and I never I never asked Hannah Anne. Um. It came up and talks to Madison and I and I tell you no, because she told me she would have said no, like that wasn't something she would have done. Um, but I guess with Hannah Anne, I mean because it's it's not there's there's nothing negative about that. Like I if you would if I would be talking to two former bacherettes here, yeah, in your final three, like if someone or my you know, Hannah Brown would ask you like, I would have been like, if you don't pick me, this is really weird question. But of course, like obviously it's working for me right now, so I know that it could work. If you broke my show now and it's not gonna work, why wouldn't I want to? Um, So it's nothing negative, but I think, yeah, Hannah and you know would have would have what are you? What are you trying to do? Kind of sneak behind me? Is that Kelly? Yeah, she's trying to crawl on the floor behind me. Kelly, we heard you were Oh she didn't hear us because he's got headphones on. Binger on, come on it, come on it, say hi, can you hear us sneak around? Kelly's being bashful? Wait, we actually called to talk to you and I Peter just happened to pick up. I was just hogging the zoom screen. nowI Hi, Kelly, No, that's the question. We were just asking him. Listen. I think got a little too awkward on this show. No, you're not awkward. You just I think, yeah, spoken, I don't think. I think you would have Kelly. You would have good because you would have kept the men in their place. True, you just get it. Becca and I are also two Batcheloris who didn't have a lot of drama in our season because we were kind of like, we're here to do something and it's like it is what it is. So you probably would have been like that. Like it's changed a little bit, like in the past couple of years, it's more drama focused. So do they hold on to that? Did they reverse it and go back to what you guys had say, she's already she's asking the wrong this. Yeah, she couldn't do it. Are you do? You still have to work right now? Um? I should be working more than I am, but there's little things that I still have to do. Yeah. I just didn't know. I mean, I don't practice anymore, so I'm like, Oh, what's what's going on in the legal world? Or people. Still, I did finish my cls this month, so I was so proud of myself for finishing. Remember. Yeah, hey, hey Rachel, may it please the court. I'm so proud out of you. I'm so proud of you. Look at you two steps away from a courtroom. No, we've just been having fun asking Peter questions about and Kelly, you're somebody we wanted to talk to on the show. I feel like we've hot We've No. No, I'm not gonna hog your time because we've been talking to Peter. I feel like for an hour and a half. At this point, I'm in my closet. So Specca, we have nothing else to do, so the dance parties with the DJs on the team. Okay, well, here's a question. Why were you at women till all? I honestly don't know. No, No, not at women? Sorry, why were you am? I really don't know. I think it's just from the only The only thing that I got was Chris Harrison doing an interview saying that they wanted to throw people off because they thought I was pregnant with Peter's child or something like, Yeah, was that a rumor? Practice? Yeah, people call up with the weirdest crap you guys. I swear well, Kelly, when when rached I saw you because we were there. We were just watching backstage. We weren't allowed out there, which we really wanted to, but when we saw you, were like, let us go sit with Kelly and Barr. Why are you guys keeping her back here? You were sitting next to my friend Kelly, my two guests on the show. The guy, it was a couple that was sitting next to you. Yea, yeah. So like they're big Bachelor fans. They do like he does ESPN stuff and he's like, I was like, we were sitting next to Kelly. I was like, well, you're welcome. I didn't even plan it that way, but you're welcome. That's so funny. And the first time I ever saw her there, it was there in the first commercial break and then Chris is like, hey, so I just did a little shift that out to Kelly. She's up there, and I looked at it. Kelly just waving, like what were y'all communication at that point? Like were y'all like cool? Y'all hadn't okay? I like people think everything happened like before. I didn't get her number until so I was talking about Christian that night, like nothing before. Well, in all fairness, you don't really need numbers these days, there's so many ways to communicate. So, Kelly, I'll ask you this question because we asked Peter when we know that you guys have been quarantined before those infamous TMZ photos when you decided to say, you know what, we're gonna go to the Riverwalk where y'all just like fuck it, We're gonna go who cares who sees? No, not the social distancing, I mean like being out in public. Oh No, to be completely honest, I think we're pretty naive. And in that aspect um, you know, I was wearing like two hoods. He was wearing sunglasses and a hat, and I guess that just doesn't really work well with Clay and dust In two. I mean like stick out like sort. You know what's crazy? They're real quick. This is insane. Um. So Katrina, who lives in Chicago as well, she sent a picture to Kelly, this is insane like those Katrina Katrina night one with the pussycat. Oh, let's I don't start knowing name. Still halfway through she had taken a picture like a selfie sitting on the riverwalk. This is crazy, and then in the background it's the three was the three of us with Dustin as well. You could tell what we were wearing if you compare to other pictures and we're like, this is insane. You can't go the leek one who I thought looked like me and a Dobrev Right, who's that? I thought she looked like some actress. I think that was her? Okay, she was she was at woman tell all? Okay, yeah, how was that? Woman's all? Definitely I'm sorry. I would say, well, we'll see her on Paradise, but who knows if Paradise is even moving forward? Yeah? Well, okay, let me ask you this, because Kelly Peter's being very quoit about where your relationship stands these days. If Paradise happens and you get asked, would you go, yeah, I don't. I don't think I'm made for these shows. Inspect it. They're amazing. It was an experience, but I don't know. I don't know how much of the future I have with them. Well, what about friends? Because like I remember, coming on, I was like, I'm gonna stick to myself. I'm the oldest one in the house. I'm just going to read my books, go on these dates, do my thing. And I was pleasantly surprised that I had friends on the show and that I know we'll be friends forever. Was that the same experience you had? And if so, who are you close to? Yeah? Um, coming off the show. It's funny because when you're on the show and off the show, you you gravitate towards other people. But yeah, I talked to like McKenna and Kelsey every day, Um and throughout throughout the whole you know, of it airing back, you kind of just gravitate towards what episode is going on and who you're with on that group date or what happened there you know. Um, but I'm friends with with all the girls. I don't have any beef with any of them. Um, But yeah, Kelsey and McKenna are the ones that day keeping intact with a lot. Well, my forever favorite moment of you will be laying back on that bench with that foot up twirl. Like I said, Kelly is an entire mood. That is me. I was, like, I have Kelly, Kelly is me. I tell him all the time, like I've listened to y'all's podcasts, and the way that you think is very similar to mine, Like everything you usually say. I was likes fun Ons fun On, Like, I get it, I get it, And I keep telling him that I was, like just the way that she thinks like is incredible, Like I'm so, I'm literally jealous because you can tell you're you're super intelligent with everything you say. And we thank you fun On for I don't know everything. It's you know, you know, law school is like it teaches you a certain way to think more than anything else. But it's nice to hear it's appreciated because it's not appreciated by most. I always say our podcast is a logical like it's not for the hopeless romantics. You know. We're here to just like have a discussion and to talk things out, and not everybody wants to hear that. And there are other podcasts you can go to for that. Kelly, I will say you watching you and Rache and I have loved you the entire season. You were one of our favorites because you're just a breath of fresh air. Because you are logical, you are intelligent, you speak your mind, You are very articulate. But Rachel, I'm gonna disagree, and I'm gonna say the best moment of Kelly on the season was when you were the aboila yea, yes, that moment You're right, You're right, Becca, that was I knew I liked you before, but watching you was the aboila. I was like, God, she's good. And then when and when she and then when she like changed the script up though, because like that she wasn't the script and it was just like, pought me off guard. While we're filming O, I'm like, what was like, let's go, oh Quarantine? Can you like play act and do another telenovela together? That's what you should do. Believe. Yeah, we didn't give them the TikTok. We don't have when it takes that TikTok. But can get listen? I am an anti TikTok person, Becca, just one. I can't get it. I would I would be worse than you, So kudos to you for doing it. I can't. Kelly, have you been on any of the other podcasts? Did you do Nick or Caitlin's or are we the first? No? She she was with Caitlin and m Ben Okay can you tell Can you guys, tell us like one thing that you didn't tell them, like some juicy detail, some juicy d give us, Like, give us something good that we can run with here, an exclusive, an exclusive? Kind of boring, Kelly, have you seen Peter in the shower during this quarantine? Is Peter better in real life or on the show? Oh? My god, in real life better? I like to pick up for him. I was like, some parts of him that you saw were like necessarily him. But I even used to stay on the show. I was like, there's Peter Webber and then there's Bachelor the Peter or the Bachelor Peter, and you know they're big. You stop saying that. And I was like, no, true, I met him outside of this and he's so much cooler than he is. Peter, you are cooler than what we did see on the show. I guess I'd rather have it that way than vice versus. So thank you. No, absolutely, So you feel like if you met Peter, well you did beat him in real life before, but like you guys could hit it off. Oh for sure, Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's definitely a It's yes, it's a compliment taken. It's a fine line to try to be both. The same person you see on TV is the same person you are in person, so right, you know, I know, yeah, Well, and that's the thing I think as leads, there's so much that happens that can't be portrayed on TV, and so I think for everyone, anyone who's ever been on the show, there's so much more. People are way funnier or more charismatic than what they come across. And Peter, I mean, I've met you now a few times in person, and um, like you really are just this very warm, bighearted, like fun charismatic guy that that I think we saw a good part of it on the show, but I think that they're so much more. And so, you know, regardless of what happened throughout the entire season and it didn't pan out, I'm sure as anyone had expected. Um, I think you are on your own path and I'm so happy you are about Shore. I really am. Yeah, you seem happy. Like we've talked to you a couple of times in studio. You're different, You're different. Thanks Kelly, Thanks Kelly, she's been amazing. How many times have you FaceTime Barb? Yeah, she's obsessed with Sophie Dustin's dogs, and she's always calling, Hey, let me see Sophie, let me see Sophie. Let me see Chop Chop. So that's that's Kelly. Chop Chop were heard about? Chop chopped up? All right? Well, Kelly, we're so happy you popped into this. Thank you boys, Thanks Kelly. We hope to see more at you. Um So, Peter, as I just said, you know, there's obviously so much more than what anyone can ever see on a TV show. And when people say like they thought the ending was staged and the finale was staged, I don't think so, because like when we met with you in the studio before the season started, we asked you, like, what are you hoping from this, Like what do you want to be known for? And you were like, I don't want to be known for a windmill or an inanimate object, like I want to be known for having the best love story. And unfortunately, for your time on the show itself, that didn't happen. Like, yes, you fell in love with a couple of girls, you were engaged, it didn't pan out with either of them, and I don't think that's anything you expected going into it. I don't think you could have foreseen any of what went down. So that's why, like watching it, I'm like, dude, like no offense, but this really sucks. Like all he wanted was to share his heart and to share this love story with the world. And so you know, you're making your own story now away from the TV. We don't know what's gonna necessarily happen with Kelly. But going back to your time, obviously it didn't pan out as you thought. But I'm sure we all have regrets going through it at moments. But what was your biggest regret and biggest takeaway from being the lead? My biggest regret I think was and it for me, it's so tough to like kind of admit or be okay with because, like I know the kind of person that I am, and at the end of the day, I can't change myself to like be different. But the one thing that kind of sucked the most, I think was me just being a little bit too empathetic throughout the entire process and not putting my foot down in certain situations. And I guess do if I could have done it again, had a second chance, I could have tried a little bit harder, but at the end of the day, I am who I am, and so it's like it's a regret, but it's like something I regret that I would I would continue to keep making because that's just the person I am. And maybe that's this kind of process wasn't ideal for me being on this side, as you know, the back, sir, but that's who I am, and I can't change who I am. And in regards like what you said about you know, yeah, I remember saying that, like I didn't want I didn't care about any drama of being remembered for this or that I wanted to give people because I've been such a hopeless romantic. The romantic like that story they could live vicariously through and like inspire them to like never settle and like look for hopefully what I was going to go fine, But even though it didn't work out that way, I still I hope that it can inspire people just kind of seeing me now and where I'm at. And I've always said, like, I'm not a hopeless romantic. I don't like the word hopeless because I'm the kind of romantic that never loses hope that you know what that didn't work, and that didn't work, and there was so much should I had to go through with that. But guess what, I'm still having that mindset that you know, the next person is going to be my girl, And if I can still feel that way after what I just went through, hopefully that can in a different way inspire people in a way I didn't think was possibly going to at the beginning of the season. Yeah, you are very well said. So I have one last question for you, being that this is kind of like a redemption podcast for you and a ringwrit just on Thost failed out a lot going on in this closet. Seeing that this is a redemption podcast for you, and we started out at the beginning asking you about the coronavirus, I want to ask you this last question. It's interesting you say empathy because I think a lot of people would have labeled that that you were indecisive. So that's why I think what you said is very powerful, because it's like, Okay, I actually can see that, I can see how you were being very empathetic, but a lot of people have labeled you as indecisive. A lot of people have had opinions on you one way or another. For various reasons, kind of as if I don't want to use certain words, but basically is if you don't make your own decisions, and I'm going outside of even them saying because of your mom. Just a lot of people have had a lot to say about you that I don't necessarily agree with. Beca and I have had the chance to get to know you off of the podcast. You're a great guy. Your character's outstanding. I mean, like, you send us a voicemail the other day and I turned to Brian, I was like, you couldn't be mad at Peter if you tried, You just couldn't. He's just such a good person. But I feel defensive of you, and I've said this before just because I feel like people have a lot to say about you. So I just kind of want to give you the opportunity and give you the floor like Becca did at the beginning of this podcast, to just address it. The people who have stuff to say about you, and that like you can't make your own decisions and you're indecisive. What do you have to say about that? Uh? You know, and yeah I heard that. It's ton and listen, I'll admit to a lot of it I was indecisive in regards to a lot of situations. But and I'm okay with that because that to me was just showing how how well this did work for me, and it was working for me. You know, I didn't want to fall from multiple women. I didn't want to have to have these crazy confusion you know days, these weeks I had to deal with, but I did. And so you know, I look the way I look at it, it's like I wasn't indecisive. That'd probably be a little bit weird because maybe it wasn't working as well as maybe maybe it's the wrong opinion. But that's honestly that that's that's how I look at it. Um, you know, in regards of being like empathetic and like, I know there's a lot of relationships why people like didn't understand why I was like maybe possibly giving that person so many chances or um, you know, not seeing the red flags right away or whatnot. And you know, and I'll specifically say like one with like Victoria, if I know, I got a lot of like backlash on that relationship, Like me going into this and like I've always been such a proponent for grace and like in a relationship that's so important also to be able to give it's one of the most beautiful gifts you can give. Um. The definition of grace is like is unwarranted us undeserved forgiveness and like, so that's how that was my mindset, and a lot of these relationships that people didn't get why I was doing what I was doing or whatnot, Like I always trying to practice that and like, you know, not just preachip, but practice it, um, So listen, that's still though, doesn't I made a ton of mistakes. I fess up to that over and over. The biggest one and the one that I hurt, My biggest regret I take back was you know, putting hand and what I put her through and like that to me, you know, is something that I will forever feel horrible about because I just care for her so much. But you know, through all that, I do feel like she's going to be Madison's going to be all the other women myself, like we are gonna still forever be grateful for this experience we share together. And you know, I never, for sure we'll ever regret being the Bachelor, that's for sure, just the experience I had the lessons I learned I'll take with me for the rest of our life. So that's great. And luckily bachelination is a short term memory. So that's what I hear. But there's no other show being film right now. I kind of take the attention, all, yeah, you really are you really are getting the short end of the stake stick here because yeah, I know what I mean. Until Listen to Your Heart starts, no one's going to be able to talk about another show. So Peter, one last question before we let you get going here the entire season, I think it can be said, and Rachel and I have said this to like, what does Peter want? What do you want? It might have been different going into the season than it is now, but what ultimately do you want in a partner? What are you looking for that's really going to fill you at the end of the day. I want someone that listen all, I still want a lot of the same things I wanted from the beginning of the show, but someone that you know, really just gets me for who I am and it is never going to try to have me change in any way, even if they think it might be a weakness in me. It's something they appreciate about me and you know, someone that I do feel like we can really challenge each other. And that's not to be negative or like, oh he needs to have a problem or an issue or he needs the drama. That's not what it is. But someone that really just you both challenge each other really well. And you know, I've had the opportunity just to see and date a lot of different personalities in different women obviously in the last two months, and like, so I see a lot of what I like and what I don't like now, um, and so I'm going to use that for sure moving forward. UM. And you know, at the end of day, just someone that just makes me happy, and um, I can make them happy. And it's nothing really much more complicated than that. UM. And I know that's that's gonna happen for me. We know it will, and we'll be watching, We will be watching and hopefully well, Peter, we loved having you on. I mean we said it before, but we're always going to root for your happiness. We're always gonna want you to find love because, like I said, you have such a big heart and we've seen that and so I really want you at the end of the day to hopefully find what you're looking for. Um. You know, we all go through these crazy ups and downs, especially being from the show. Um, but it seems like you did learn a lot and took a lot. So we're always going to be your biggest supporters here, um, because we can wait. It's it's a crazy world that you've gotten yourself into and you're part of it now you're stuck with us. Um, but we're happy that we can all be in it together. No, I love you both so much to thank you for everything, just always being there for me and you know, the whole whole way, So thank you, Oh Peter. And one thing too, I should say, Um, my mom was actually asking for your mom's number because my mom, my mom struggled a lot while I was gone on the show, just because she she couldn't really talk to me, you know. Um, So she she wants, she was joking the other day, she wants to start like a support group of bachelor parents. So I think she actually reached out to your mom on Instagram, so hopefully they can chat aside. Um. Yeah, but when all this quarantine is said and done, we're all coming over and bringing my mom for some Cuban food. Okay, thank you, Yeah, I want to fire it up. No, for sure, she's gonna love that, so I can't wait. Thanks Peter so much for doing this. Hopefully this is if for you. Now you can live your life. That's for do you? Just do you? Thank you so much for giving us your time. Thank Kelly, and tell Dustin what's up to us? All right? Love you guys, Peter. You know it's so. I'm really glad we talked to Peter Becca because I'll be honest, I was a little indifferent about doing an interview because I thought, Okay, are we just going to be rehashing the same things over and over again? Is this just gonna be you know, I don't know. I just didn't think that. I know our listeners wanted it, but I just wasn't sure how the podcast would go. And I am so glad we did it. I thought that Peter is a new Peter. Dare I say it. I think people will be surprised, pleasantly surprised at what they heard Peter say and where he is and where he was coming from. And I honestly think he's in a headspace now to clearly talk about it. Without being biased or too emotional from what had happened before. I agree. I think a little time and space and distance always helps. And and even for me, I mean, be worth supposed to speak to him right after the finale, and I personally, I think in that moment I would have come at the interview as like a scorned woman because I could relate with him Anne, and I was in that mindset. And so it's good to now have a little distance from everything that went down. We've seen Peter kind of move on from his season with Kelly, We've seen the girls kind of move on, and so I think it helps to shape the conversation a little bit better. And as you said, Peter now has some space, he has some clarity, He can come at this and finally really say what he wants to say and what he wants to get off of his chest. So I'm so happy we finally spoke with him. Yeah, Plus we got Kelly. Now, if we had done this interview right after the finale, we never would have gone Kelly. So thank you for that, Thank you for Kelly for making a guest appearance on That's a Happy Hours. So glad we finally got you. Yes, it was a good one, guys, but we have to start leaving him alone because a new show is coming up starting this Monday. We have Listened to Your Heart, which we have to look forward to and I cannot wait. But Bachelor Happy Hour listeners, you can actually get our first interviews on the show. We have a new podcast dropping this Friday where you can get our take on what's to come and listen to your Heart. That's right. We are the official podcast, which means we are dropping things first, So you're welcome. For Peter, that is over and done with. We're entering a new season. Listen to your Heart so excited. April thirteenth, eight seven Central. We've got two contestants coming up on the show. It's going to be so good and you're only going to hear them here on Bachelor Happy Hour. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. You know, we love diving into all things Bachelor with you every single week on Happy Hour. We're hoping that we're providing you some normalcy during these really trying times right now. We hope that you're safe, healthy. We thank you so much for coming in. Are tuning in to Bachelor Happy Hour and another wild season of the Bachelor is finally in the books. I cannot wait. And now, Listeners, we always love to hear from you. If you ever have praises or comments or questions, please on them our way. You can always email us at happy hour at batnation dot com. Also head to batchelnation dot com to get the latest and greatest details about the show and everything that's coming up. We are, of course the first place to announce everything coming in the weeks to come.