#293: Vision Board and 5 Year Plan

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.000
Elsie

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.000
You're listening to the a Beautiful Mess podcast your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Elsie Larson.

00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:03.000
Emma

00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:04.000
And I'm your host, Emma Chapman.

00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:05.000
Elsie

00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:06.000
In this week's episode, we're diving into how to make vision boards and five year plans. If you're in the

00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:07.000
mood to think about goals and dreams, you're in the right place. We're also answering some listener

00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:08.000
questions and engaging in a hot take debate about whether romantic comedies are actually the worst

00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:09.000
fired I love it, so let's just jump right in. So how to make a vision board? We're gonna talk about vision

00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:10.000
boards, and then we talk about five year plan. But I kind of want to say like five or 10 year plan,

00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:11.000
because they're kind of the same thing, just the scale is a little bit different.

00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:12.000
Emma

00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:13.000
Yeah, we'll talk about this more when we get when we get to the five year plan. But I do kind of think

00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:14.000
sometimes the number, the year number, can kind of hang up on you, so don't just hang with us. What

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:15.000
we're talking about is big goals and breaking it down. And also, before we talk about each of these, the

00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:16.000
vision board, which we'll talk about first, and then the five year plan or 10 year plan, however, you want

00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:17.000
to get it. Here's what I'll say before we start, is I think that the vision board, to me is all about curating

00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:18.000
the vibe that you want for your life. It's like visual vibes. So like, this is the feeling that I want my life to

00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:19.000
have, whereas the five year plan thing to me is, like, that's making a road map. This is my specific how

00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:20.000
I'm going to get from here to there type thing. So these are two very different things. And I wanted to

00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:21.000
kind of say that, because I want to pitch you do need both. I think, I think both are very good for very

00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:22.000
different reasons. And I think to only do one and not the other, like you're kind of missing out. So, like

00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:23.000
they're fun. Get into it. Let's do it. I don'tknow that's my pitch for it.

00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:24.000
Elsie

00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:25.000
100% I love that. Okay, so vision boards are one of our special interests. They're one of my topics. I

00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:26.000
have mine right here.

00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.000
Emma

00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:28.000
Look, I took a picture of mine. It's everywhere.

00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:29.000
Elsie

00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:30.000
It's all the time.

00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:31.000
Emma

00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:32.000
Mine's hanging up in my office all the time. So there she is.

00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:33.000
Elsie

00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:34.000
I love it. So, okay, my philosophy is, everything in your entire life that you care about deserves its own

00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.000
vision board. Why not? Why not when I have one vision board? So we have a different, definitely

00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:36.000
different. Okay, so I wrote, I, like, looked around and wrote down all of my current vision boards that I'm

00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:37.000
referencing. So I have the 2026, vision board, which is, like, in the front and back of my planner. So I

00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:38.000
just wanted to put it in a place where I could see it often, yeah, and I don't have a place in my house to

00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:39.000
like, Hey, I don't have like, you know that official office, right? So I just keep it there. And then I have

00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:40.000
separate vision boards. One for my writing career, one for my art career, one for just like lifestyle and

00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.000
family, like the daily life I want to be living at home. One for collections, like one is just about, like

00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:42.000
vintage basically, and like, my knives out house, like collecting that. And then one about, like, dressing

00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:43.000
up, like everyday style, because that's something I'm trying to work on. And then in past years, I have

00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:44.000
had, like, lots of very elaborate home vision boards as I was decorating my house. But now I'm finally at

00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:45.000
a place where I'm a little bit done with that, and I'm at least taking a break from it. So this year, there's

00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:46.000
none of that for me, okay?

00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:47.000
Emma

00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:48.000
And I just have one vision part, and I and it has all the categories on it.

00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:49.000
Elsie

00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:50.000
So describe yours.

00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:51.000
Emma

00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:52.000
That's one of my tips, I guess, or one of my here's how I do it. I don't know it's even a tip. It's just like,

00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:53.000
here's what I do. Is I have different, like, segments. Let me see all the segments I have. And you could

00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.000
have different ones than these. Doesn't matter. It's your board. So one is called work and play. One is

00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:55.000
called family, which includes kids, all family, partner. One is friendships. And then I have a very small

00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:56.000
section that's called Health. So those are the segments on my board. And then within each of those, I

00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:57.000
have a bunch of, like, pictures, and then I write certain phrases. So another like, tip, or thing I do is I

00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:58.000
write in present tense. So I'll read some. So under work and play. So I have a bunch of pictures around

00:00:58.000 --> 00:00:59.000
these, and I'll tell you a little more about the pictures. But what I've written is, I am a successful author. I

00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:00.000
have time for creative hobbies. Creativity and making is a huge part of my life. And then I have pictures

00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:01.000
of women working on books, signing a bunch of copies of a book, and then, like, some a few, like,

00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:02.000
messy desk that have, like, collage stuff out and things like that. And so two things that I do with the

00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:03.000
pictures, and I find all these pictures on Pinterest. Sometimes I find one in a magazine, but I find it's a

00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.000
lot easier to find them on Pinterest, so I tend to like make a folder of them and print them off. So two

00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.000
things is, one, I try to find pictures of people where the faces are more profile or somewhat obscured.

00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:06.000
For me, I just find that that helps to envision myself on the board. So that another thing is, whenever I

00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:07.000
have a section that's kind of about me, and they all are kind of about me, because it's my vision board. I

00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.000
aim to put women on my board who are a little bit older than me. Yeah? Because I don't really want a

00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.000
vision board that's full of 20 year olds. Yeah, I'm 40. I want a vision board that's full of 45, 5060, year

00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:10.000
olds. I even have one that's like a couple. Oh, look at them. They're probably in their 70s, and they're

00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:11.000
on a walk, and they're holding hands, and it's just very cute to me. And I'm like, that's I want that to be

00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:12.000
my husband one day, exactly that. That's what I want. So, yeah, those are a couple, like, small little tips,

00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:13.000
just because I think part of the goal is, like, the life that you really have and that you really want. And I'm

00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:14.000
never going to be 20 again, and I don't want to be but I don't want a board that looks like, you know

00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:15.000
that, you get it, you get it. I don't really explain this.

00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:16.000
Elsie

00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:17.000
So, yeah, no, I think that some people might feel differently, like it's one of their goals to, like, feel

00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:18.000
young, and like, yeah, yeah. Like, maybe that. It's just not one of my goals.

00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:19.000
Emma

00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:20.000
Yeah, same, yep, and yeah. So I have little goals around family stuff, which has to do with mostly my

00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.000
kids and my partner, but a little bit also my larger family. And then one that's kind of like my social life.

00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:22.000
And then I my really small section is just like a woman on a long walk outside, and then women who are

00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:23.000
like, doing gym stuff, oh yeah, jumping around and stuff. And it just says I take care of my body and my

00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:24.000
mental health. That's all it really says. So, like, some sections can be really small, but it's still, like,

00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.000
meaningful to me. Like, I have moments where I'm like, Hey, are you doing this? Are you taking care of

00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:26.000
your body and your mental health? Because that's your vision, so that's what you need to be doing.

00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:27.000
Yes. And I don't really have like, a, you know, weight goal, or I want to lift this much weight, you know, I

00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.000
don't really have those at the moment. If I did, I would put them on my board. But I just am kind of like, I

00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:29.000
want to feel good, and I want to have long term health, and that's kind of it for me right now. Yeah. So,

00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:30.000
yeah, that's what I have on my board.

00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.000
Elsie

00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:32.000
So, Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. I also have a manifesting board. I forgot about this. It's a it's a pin board,

00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:33.000
a private pin board, and I just keep putting on it, like manifesting stuff. So I'll pull that up real fast and

00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:34.000
share some of the things that are on there, because I think everyone should make one of these. It's so

00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.000
powerful. And when my friend first told me to do it. Do you remember the first time we hung out with

00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:36.000
Elise and Sherry a couple years ago? She was saying, Sherry was saying that she used to pen things,

00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:37.000
and now, like, she has those things. So I'm starting to get to that point where, like, so I started this, like,

00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:38.000
two years ago when we had that hang out at my house, and she was, like, the things that you put on

00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:39.000
there will eventually just be your life. So it's a powerful thing anyway, yeah? Like, I have these beautiful,

00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:40.000
like, Look at this gorgeous. It's like a fabulous old lady with, like, her hands, and every single finger has

00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:41.000
more than one ring on it.

00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:42.000
Emma

00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.000
I think marigold might be living that life right now.

00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:44.000
Elsie

00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:45.000
Yeah, she is, I have, there's two pictures in a row of French butter, because I want to go to France and

00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:46.000
go butter shopping with our eight year old. Who has that dream?

00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:47.000
Emma

00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:48.000
I think it's a great dream. She can say croissant so.

00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:49.000
Elsie

00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:50.000
She can also say Bonjour. Okay, oh, yeah. Anyway, it it says I attract supportive colleagues and

00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.000
mentors. There's a New York Times bestseller picture. There's a picture of Cher reading a book in the

00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:52.000
bathtub.

00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:53.000
Emma

00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.000
I'm not sure what that one's about, but I love it.

00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.000
Elsie

00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:56.000
It's just, well, I just want to be like that. I want to like I I want that. Look at that, and I say, yes anyway.

00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:57.000
So I think it's a beautiful thing. I also put like, really cool vintage on it that I see, because I think that it's

00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:58.000
somehow gonna, like, summon it into my flea market. I like, um, yeah, yeah. So yeah, vision boards,

00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:59.000
they're easy to do. Just make a make a folder on your computer. Make a folder on Pinterest, take them

00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:00.000
into Canva, print them out and make a collage in real life, like whatever you decide to do, or you can

00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.000
use an app and make a collage on your phone. It doesn't matter where you keep it, just keep it

00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.000
somewhere, either on the phone or in real life, where you will see it, yeah, and then just, you know,

00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:03.000
every once in a while, refer back to it and remember, you know, and kind of see, like, do I still align with

00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:04.000
these things, like, you can tweak them over time if your vision for your future changes, and you know it

00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:05.000
should. But for the most part, mine are very similar. Every single year I'm still kind of going towards the

00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:06.000
same direction with little details that are different.

00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.000
Emma

00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:08.000
Yeah, I refresh mine each year, and like this year versus last year, they looked remarkably similar, but

00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:09.000
some years they've looked quite different. So it just sort of depends how your life's evolving. It just

00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:10.000
does. Yeah, I also haven't, in the past kept my vision boards, and it never really occurred to me. And

00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.000
this year, I was like, You know what? I think I'm gonna start keeping them because I don't know where

00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:12.000
I'll put them, and I don't necessarily think I'm gonna look back on them that much. But I'm not much of a

00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:13.000
journaler at this time in my life. I don't have a diary at the moment, and I was like, that just might be like,

00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:14.000
a fun thing to have. Like, 20 years from now, I'll be like, Oh, look at my vision board from back when I

00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:15.000
was doing this thing, you know.

00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:16.000
Elsie

00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:17.000
Yeah, you have to keep them for my novels. I have those, you know, those collages that I make, and I

00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:18.000
feel like. Feel like it's like one of the most important things that I love to look back on, to remember, like,

00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:19.000
what I was trying to do when I started, you know, versus like, how it turns out in the end. It's like it

00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:20.000
evolves to be a different thing. But I just think, like, it's so fun to look back on that stuff and like, oh

00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:21.000
yeah. Think about like, I don't know the evolution. Okay, so let's talk about making a five year plan. This

00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:22.000
is always, I think we've covered this. I know we've covered this topic on the podcast before, since we're

00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.000
like 300 episodes deep at this point, but I feel like it's still a subject that people either feel like it's totally

00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:24.000
impossible to make a five year plan, or, you know, or you make one and you realize, like, oh my gosh,

00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:25.000
five years goes by quickly. And I actually need to start on this yesterday, like, I still it like, blows my mind

00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:26.000
that the beginning of covid was more than five years ago now, you know, like, it still, like, trips me up,

00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:27.000
kind of like the passage of time in this past five years has gone by really quickly for me, and I did start a

00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:28.000
few things in that era that changed my life. You know, over time, slowly, you know, little bit each day.

00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:29.000
And I think that if there's dreams that you have and you start them, you're going to like, Okay, say, say

00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:30.000
the quote. Say the quote. I wrote it down. I think we said it in a previous episode, but it was so powerful

00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:31.000
I want to repeat it.

00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:32.000
Emma

00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:33.000
Yeah, it was a few episodes ago. But the quote is, it's from Bjork, who is over at pinch of Yum, and his

00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:34.000
wife run it. So he said, We overestimate what we can do in a day, but we underestimate what we can

00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:35.000
do in a year. Because I do think it's so easy to have days, I feel like I said this last time we talked about

00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000
it, where you're like, Oh, I didn't get anything done today. What a waste of a day. Ah, you start to spiral

00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:37.000
a little bit. But it's like, actually, you can't always get that much done in a day. But if you think about it

00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:38.000
more in a big picture, it's like you can get a lot done in a year, but you just have to kind of chip away at

00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:39.000
it. And that's sort of what I would say about making your five year plan, which, in my mind, I'm just, I just

00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.000
think of it as a roadmap, big goal roadmap. That's it. Because I think if you want it to be five years great,

00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:41.000
if you want to be 10 years, great, it kind of like, to me, that's a little bit arbitrary. It's a little bit besides the

00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:42.000
point. It's more like, what is it that you want? What is your big dream that you want, and now you're

00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:43.000
going to make the road map that gets you there. And it's probably more than one thing. It's probably like

00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:44.000
a whole collection of things. But if the the vision board was the vibes of the life you want, then this is,

00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:45.000
like, No, this is the concrete. This is the you're holding, the Oscar giving your speech. Yes. How'd you

00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:46.000
get there? This is the roadmap to that point, you know. So that's, that's all it really is. So maybe it takes

00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.000
you five years, maybe it takes you three years. Because if you're like, Oh, my big goal is only going to

00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:48.000
take me three years, did I do it wrong? No, it's fine, like that doesn't, don't worry about that too much.

00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.000
But part of the idea, though, is that five years is a long enough amount of time that you could do a very

00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:50.000
large goal. So you don't need to limit yourself. It doesn't need to be, you know, your New Year's

00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:51.000
resolution, because that should only take you nine months, nine to 12 months. Yeah. So this is a bigger

00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:52.000
than that goal. It might take you three years, five years, 10 years. It depends on your goal, but the idea

00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:53.000
is, this is your roadmap to get there. So first step though, is to come up with that big goal. Yeah. So has

00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:54.000
to align with the things you're wanting and with what future self wants, which is kind of a tricky thing at

00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:55.000
times to figure out, yeah.

00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:56.000
Elsie

00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:57.000
So my main tip is to kind of do the math, just like, figure out how old am I gonna be in five years? How

00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:58.000
am I gonna be in 10 years? Like, which 1am I doing? And then just, you know, get one piece of paper

00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.000
and just try to make a list from the perspective of that future self. What would they like if they got to that

00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.000
point and had not changed very much, what would they have wished like, what would be the main

00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:01.000
things that they would regret that. They would want, you know, and just do those things. Like, it's, it

00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:02.000
doesn't have to be a long list. Like, usually it's kind of short, you know. And we're, yeah, we're gonna

00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.000
keep living our life. We're gonna keep working. We're gonna keep making dinners and lunches and

00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:04.000
packing, you know, backpacks.

00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:05.000
Emma

00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:06.000
Taking the dogs to the vet, yeah, getting the oil changed on your car, whatever, whatever.

00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:07.000
Elsie

00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:08.000
Yeah, but in five to 10 years, you can change your career. You can change, like, if there's something,

00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:09.000
some other dream you have, you know, I want this thing for myself, and I haven't really started yet. You

00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:10.000
can achieve that, probably in five years. So what is it that you want? And then you can break it down

00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:11.000
into smaller, you know, steps of like, what am I going to do this month? And it starts to become really

00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:12.000
realistic really quickly when you look at things with that sense of scope.

00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.000
Emma

00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.000
Yeah, yeah. So I think of it like, Okay, if the the five year plan is the big goal, you know, let's make that

00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:15.000
this big, big piece of it's a whole pot. Pie. It's the entire pie. So now we're going to think about slicing it

00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:16.000
up into, like, maybe a big piece, maybe into really tiny pieces. Maybe we're going to think about it like,

00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:17.000
this is the flour, this is the butter, you know, whatever. You can make it as granular as you want, but

00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:18.000
that's sort of the next step. Is, because I almost think, like, the hardest part is figuring out what it is you

00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:19.000
want, yeah, and then once you do, then it's and being honest about it with yourself. And then once you

00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:20.000
do, then it's like, Okay, who else do I need to get on board if I need to do that, like, for example, if your

00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:21.000
goal was, like, I want to live by the ocean. Yeah, I really want to live by the ocean in five years.

00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:22.000
Elsie

00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:23.000
Oh, my God.

00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:24.000
Emma

00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:25.000
Well, if you're married, step one, talk with your partner about that, because I'm assuming you want them

00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:26.000
to live there too. So that's going to be, you know. So there's kind of, like, a certain level of like, okay, I

00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:27.000
found the thing I want. I really want this thing. Now I've got to go see about, you know, the possibilities

00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:28.000
around me. And then once, let's say he's like, Yeah, let's do that for sure. Now it's like, All right, let's

00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:29.000
start researching places, because there's a lot of beach, beach areas. It could be anywhere. You could

00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:30.000
be on the east coast, the West Coast, the Gulf, wherever. So it's like, okay, and so maybe the next step

00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.000
is like taking trips together. Maybe after that, it's like starting to put together a budget for the ideal area

00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:32.000
that you've picked out, starting to look at schools. If you have school age kids, like, you know, whatever,

00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:33.000
like, there's going to be a million tiny steps. Some of them are going to be as small as, like, call a

00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:34.000
realtor, and some are going to be as big as, like, pack up your house. So it's just, you know, a matter of

00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:35.000
like, okay, what's, what is the thing I really want? Let's get really clear on that, and really honest and,

00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:36.000
okay, what are my first steps? What are some of the bigger steps? So it's kind of a timeline thing and

00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:37.000
breaking up into small things. And you may find, depending on your goal, along the way, you need to

00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:38.000
kind of motivate yourself with it, maybe give yourself some rewards for some of the harder tasks. Or

00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:39.000
maybe you just need, like, a support group. Like, for example, we're always talking about writing

00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:40.000
because we both want to be writers, fiction writers. Joining a writing group might be really important,

00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:41.000
because at certain points you might feel very lonely. You might feel like, wow, my writing is not up to

00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:42.000
snuff with my taste yet, and that is frustrating, and it makes me want to quit. So I need some people I

00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:43.000
can talk to about that who've maybe gone through it, or are going through it at the same time as me. So

00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:44.000
like creating a community so that you can achieve these goals. There's a lot of different things that go

00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.000
into it, and all of those are going to need to go into your five year plan. And you'll just be thinking about,

00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:46.000
what are the things I need to do this month or this quarter? And then one of the big things I need to

00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:47.000
accomplish this year, and don't worry if the timeline starts to shift slightly, because it has to that

00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:48.000
happens. That's part of why I get a little like, don't worry about the five year thing. Let's make it five

00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:49.000
years. But then hold that loosely in your heart. It's like marbles in your hand. One of them might fall out,

00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:50.000
because it's like, there's a lot of things in life you can't control, and don't worry about that. There's no

00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:51.000
one in this world can control their whole life. That's not a thing. No one has it. Even the most successful

00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:52.000
person, you know, they don't have it. No one has that. It's fine. There might be times that you're going

00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:53.000
to stretch the timeline or shorten the timeline. Something worked out, something you know, something

00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:54.000
came faster than you wanted. You're gonna have to flow with that. So it might kind of end up being a

00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:55.000
slightly different timeline. That doesn't mean that you're failing. That doesn't mean that you did a bad

00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:56.000
job. It might just mean that you came up against an obstacle that was out of control. Yeah, time is

00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:57.000
sometimes, but you just got to roll with it. So don't worry too much about that. Worry more if you are

00:03:57.000 --> 00:03:58.000
taking the steps you can to move forward, that's what matters. Yeah, it doesn't. You know you can't

00:03:58.000 --> 00:03:59.000
control the other things. So don't get too hung up on that. Just know that like just trust, just trust that

00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:00.000
that'll happen. The universe will take care of that. You've got to just focus on the stuff that you can do.

00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.000
Elsie

00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:02.000
A thing that helps me is to remember that, you know, five years, it's a long time, but it's also a short

00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.000
amount of time it's going to pass anyway. Yes, so, you know, there's no stopping it. So you know, what

00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:04.000
little thing can I do to take me closer to where I want to be in this time? You know, because, if, like, if

00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:05.000
you want to, okay, like, this is a good example. Like, eventually I would like to be able to make, like, a

00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:06.000
classical style painting. And last year, not even, yeah, last year I started taking lessons. And so it's been

00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:07.000
already more than a year, and I've made, like, hardly any progress. But if I feel like, if I keep doing the

00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:08.000
lessons in five years, I'll probably be able to make the kind of painting in my mind that I've always

00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.000
wanted to make, if I stay on that path, you know, and I keep practicing a little bit each year and making

00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:10.000
a little bit of progress each year, and it's not ever going to be like on the forefront. It's never going to be

00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:11.000
my biggest goal in my life. It's not really even a career goal. It's kind of just like something that I that I

00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:12.000
want, that will not happen unless I practice for a long period of time, a little bit at a time. So I think think

00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:13.000
about that too. Like, if there are little things in your life, like, you're like, I want to have. Have this, like,

00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:14.000
very decorated Nancy Myers house, and I want everything to be like vintage that is a long term project

00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.000
that would take five years, you know. Or if you want that sort of like closet that's, like, very cool and

00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:16.000
collected and styled and like vintagey that takes five years, you know, Emma's wearing a vintage piece

00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:17.000
right now that she wanted to point out to me, sorry, and I was laughing, because it's a Halloween vest,

00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:18.000
I'm depressed. I'm dopamine dressing. That's what she came in and said this morning. It was, it was,

00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.000
yeah, it is February, and she is wearing a Halloween vest, like a grandma style crocheted vest for her

00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:20.000
dopamine.

00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.000
Emma

00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:22.000
It has pumpkin buttons. And it did help a little bit. It did help a little bit.

00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:23.000
Elsie

00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:24.000
Yeah, anyway, okay, well, hopefully that was helpful. I think if you haven't ever made a vision board, try

00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:25.000
it, you'll like it. If you've never made a five year plan, try it, you'll like it.

00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:26.000
Emma

00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:27.000
If you think manifesting sounds stupid, just try it. Just try it.

00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:28.000
Elsie

00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:29.000
It's fun. It's fun. Okay, we have a journey to take. It is a Q and A journey from our listener, Linnea. She

00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:30.000
sent 433, Q and A's. So let's, let's get into it, because these are, they're very different, but they're all

00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:31.000
fun, and I want to answer all of them. The first one is follow up on Renee ramits book. So ramits books,

00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:32.000
if you are new listener or whatever, he was on our podcast a few times in the past, and he has two

00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:33.000
books I Will Teach You To Be Rich and money for couples. And he also has a great podcast. So there's

00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.000
also one of our like, yes. He's kind of our financial person that we like. Financial guru, yeah, yes.

00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:35.000
Anyway, so she says, follow up on her meets book. That book was a huge takeaway for me. And I

00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:36.000
wonder how over the years, you've refined or changed anything with finances. That is a good, personal

00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:37.000
and deep question. I love this question.

00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:38.000
Emma

00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:39.000
It was very classy too, because she's very like, it's very open ended. It wasn't like, How much money do

00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:40.000
you make now? It's more like, What's your relationship to money? Are you happy or is it different? You

00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:41.000
know, I'm like, Yes, this classy lady. I love it. Okay. Well, for me, I would say one of the things I sort of

00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:42.000
identified as I was learning from Ramin, which I'm still learning from him, but is, I don't want to think

00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:43.000
about my personal finances that much. I wanted to feel like they're kind of set. I know where I'm headed

00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:44.000
and my brain somewhere else. And I knew that I really wanted that for the years that I had young kids, I

00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:45.000
set up a lot of my life so that the years that I had young kids, that would be the main stressor that I

00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:46.000
would have. And by stressor I mean good and bad. I hope that's obvious, sure, and I think that I in

00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:47.000
some ways accomplish that, because currently, I really don't think about my personal finances. I'm still

00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:48.000
saving for retirement. I'm still, like, building certain things in certain areas. A number of things are

00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:49.000
happening behind the scenes that were set in place many, many years ago, and I don't think about

00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:50.000
them at all. And so in my own little way, I feel like I'm living the advice through me gave me, which is

00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:51.000
like, you know, sort of thinking about your money dials and your relationship to it, and like, do you want

00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:52.000
to be the person with the spreadsheet who updates it every single day? Or do you want to be a person

00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:53.000
who just, like, sets it and forget it? And I'm like, I knew that in the era that I'm in right now, mom with

00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:54.000
young kids, I wanted to be set it and forget it very much. And I am. And so I feel like, okay, I took room

00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:55.000
meets advice, and I made it work for myself. Great. So I don't know. I guess that's what comes to mind

00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:56.000
with answering this question.

00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:57.000
Elsie

00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:58.000
Oh, I love that. My answer is, I have a schedule to finish saving for retirement in a certain number of

00:04:58.000 --> 00:04:59.000
years, and I do like a monthly contribution. And it's, it's kind of the same as Emma. It's like, I don't have

00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:00.000
to think about it anymore. For the last few years, I was like, how much can I contribute? I was like,

00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.000
thinking about it all the time, right? Is this the right choice? Is this the wrong choice? Like, you know,

00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:02.000
when we were renovating our house that year, we didn't put very much towards our retirement, and I

00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.000
was, like, feeling guilty about it. So now I just have, like, it's a monthly thing. It's set, it's the same every

00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:04.000
month, and I know when will be completed with that goal, and I feel good about it, so I just, like, don't

00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:05.000
have to worry about anything else anymore if I want to do, like, extra fine, but it's not a thing that I'm

00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:06.000
like, thinking about or like agonizing about anymore, which is really nice. I feel like a lot of the things he

00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:07.000
teaches are just like, how to, like, put your money in an automation where you don't have to stress

00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:08.000
about it anymore, which is really cool. I feel like we're able to, like, spend guilt free, and it feels really

00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:09.000
good. I feel like we're also able to contribute a lot to like charitable things and like family members and

00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:10.000
friends and like things that are just happening in life that are like, we we want to help others. And so

00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:11.000
now I feel like there's just kind of like a peaceful attitude, like the way I was raised with, like the Dave

00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:12.000
Ramsey is like a lot of guilt, like in his his money teaching, it's a lot of like guilt. And, like, sort of, like, a

00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:13.000
restrictive mindset. And I feel like in this teaching, it's more like, Okay, this is what I'm gonna end on.

00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:14.000
The quote that I love, that he said, and I say it all the time, even in my own mind, is, if you have a

00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.000
problem that money can fix, that's what the money's for. You know, you don't have a problem, like,

00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:16.000
that's what the money's for, like, so I just think that that's such a great way of thinking about life and

00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:17.000
money. And I don't know, I think there's, like, too much moralizing and too much like, feelings attached

00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:18.000
to it, and just to, like, take that out of the equation is really nice.

00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:19.000
Emma

00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:20.000
Yeah, I kinda of agree with that. I don't have a lot of feelings towards my money. I don't feel stressed

00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:21.000
about it. I don't really even feel like, boastful or prideful. I just feel like, safety. Know what I'm doing.

00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:22.000
Made decisions long ago, sticking to them. That's it, no big deal. Like, and it's nice. It's a good feeling.

00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:23.000
Sometimes you just like, don't want to make a bunch of decisions all the time. You're like, I can't I got to

00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:24.000
make a million decisions for my kids all the time. What am I going to make for lunch? What am I going

00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:25.000
Am I gonna make for dinner? Why am I, you know, like, it's just a lot of things all the time. So it's like, I

00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:26.000
just want other areas of my life to be like, done deal. Everything's good. Don't have to think about that.

00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:27.000
So, yeah, it's good.

00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:28.000
Elsie

00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:29.000
So pick up her meets books. So they were called, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. And money for couples

00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:30.000
is his new one, and his podcast is also called money for couples. All right. The next question is, you

00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:31.000
speak lovingly on your creative childhood. Is there anything about childhood with your kids that is

00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:32.000
intentionally or not intentionally different from yours? For example, I grew up camping with my family,

00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:33.000
and it was a huge part of my childhood, and my kids have really only camped three or four times. My

00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:34.000
husband doesn't like it. It's a lot of work, and sometimes I'm sad that I'm not sharing that part of me with

00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.000
my kids. I think that's really relatable.

00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:36.000
Emma

00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:37.000
Yeah, it is.

00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:38.000
Elsie

00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:39.000
I have lots of examples like that. Actually, my husband grew up in a camping family. We both are not

00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.000
the camping type. We've never camped. We're probably not going to. If we did, it would be in our yard,

00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:41.000
and it would be like with an escape plan. You know what I mean?

00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:42.000
Emma

00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:43.000
That's why you do it in your yard.

00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:44.000
Elsie

00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:45.000
It's just not a thing that, like, brings me joy or pleasure whatsoever. And I think it's cool for other people.

00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:46.000
It sounds cool, but I don't want to do it.

00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:47.000
Emma

00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:48.000
It is a lot of work. Yeah, so I see that, I would say one thing I was thinking about with this is I don't really

00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:49.000
feel like I'm doing a lot of things intentionally different, but there are things that are different because I'm

00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:50.000
just a different person than my parents, but not in a like, I want to be different. I actually, like, think

00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:51.000
about my mom a lot and my parents a lot. I loved their parenting style because we do talk so fondly

00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:52.000
about our childhood, but I am different. And I also think, like, I have to kind of accept that about myself

00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.000
anyway. So like, I can, I can kind of say for sure that my kids childhood is going to have a lot more

00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:54.000
structure to it than our childhood did. And I don't know if that's for better or worse. I couldn't tell you,

00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:55.000
works much better for me as a parent, and it feels natural and good, at least for now. So I'm like, going

00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:56.000
with it, but I'm also like, that is different, because I think our childhood was pretty unstructured in many

00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:57.000
ways. Yeah, and my kids are just, they just have a lot more of, like, a schedule and certain things we

00:05:57.000 --> 00:05:58.000
do. And, you know, I don't know, but I also feel like, to be honest, I don't remember a lot of my really,

00:05:58.000 --> 00:05:59.000
really young years, which is still what I'm in with my kids. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't exactly know what I

00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:00.000
was doing with with my mom when I was two. I don't know exactly I was two. I don't remember, you

00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:01.000
know? So it's like, I'm also like, I think I have more of a sense of what my life was like in like,

00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:02.000
elementary school and middle school and high school, and my kids aren't even there yet. So I don't

00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:03.000
know. This isn't a very good answer. It's not very satisfying, but this is the truth.

00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:04.000
Elsie

00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:05.000
Yeah, no, I think the biggest difference I would say I'm marrying my mom's parenting quite a bit, and I

00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:06.000
have nothing but love for how I was raised, and I want to be the same kind of parents are. But yeah, I'm

00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:07.000
also like a different Enneagram and a different personality. And my husband's a different personality

00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:08.000
from my father.

00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:09.000
Emma

00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:10.000
I'm actually a lot more like our dad in some ways than I am our mom.

00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:11.000
Elsie

00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:12.000
Yeah, I know I see that, so, yeah, I would say the biggest thing that's different in my family is that we've

00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:13.000
set a goal that we want to travel a lot, and that's like a big priority to us, so that's something that we're

00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:14.000
always working on. And in my childhood, you know, we were, we didn't have the ability to travel a lot,

00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:15.000
and we didn't, didn't travel very much at all. And then what we did, we went to, like, sort of the same

00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:16.000
vacations, like, you know, visiting family, and then we went to this cute little campground thing that we

00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:17.000
did every year.

00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:18.000
Emma

00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:19.000
Cloud nine.

00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:20.000
Elsie

00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:21.000
Yeah, but I mean, other than that, that's the biggest thing I can think of. I'm pretty much trying to raise

00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:22.000
my kids the same way. Yeah. I actually hadn't really thought of how similarly I'm trying to do things until

00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:23.000
just now. So that's interesting. Do you want to read the next one?

00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:24.000
Emma

00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:25.000
Yes? And. The next question is, I'm older than y'all but my college roommates and I bonded over

00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:26.000
discovering our mutual love of the 1985 and 1987 PBS, version of Anne of Green Gables. I was nine

00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:27.000
when it came out. Megan follows was amazing, and we were desperately in love with Jonathan

00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:28.000
Crombie. It holds up over time. What were the movies that you guys watched on repeat, or and, or first

00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:29.000
actor crushes.

00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:30.000
Elsie

00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:31.000
Ooh, I love it. Okay, I just have to say, My children just watched the entire Anne of Green Gables. But I

00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:32.000
think it was two different series, and they love it, and it was really cute. And of Green Gables is epic.

00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:33.000
Emma

00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:34.000
Yeah, it's wonderful. Is a classic for all time.

00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:35.000
Elsie

00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:36.000
Okay, so childhood crush. So my first childhood crush in like third grade was Chris O'Donnell, who was

00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:37.000
in a Batman movie, and he played Robin.

00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:38.000
Emma

00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:39.000
And it was from the Batman movie?

00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:40.000
Elsie

00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.000
It was only from the Batman movie, okay, for sure. And then after that, I remember only my adult

00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.000
crushes, like my big early 90s and early 2000s my main two, and they both stand to this day, was Luke

00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.000
Wilson and Ewan McGregor. Ewan McGregor, so Luke Wilson, specifically from the Royal

00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:44.000
Tenenbaums. Oh, my God! And Ewan McGregor, specifically, well, from all these movies, but

00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.000
specifically from Malone Rouge, yeah. What about you?

00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:46.000
Emma

00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:47.000
I was thinking more like little, like little kid, and I was trying to remember anything, because I'm like, did I

00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:48.000
have a crush?

00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:49.000
Elsie

00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:50.000
Like, Jonathan Taylor, Thomas, yeah, like, that type of thing.

00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:51.000
Emma

00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:52.000
The one that came to mind was, do you remember Hanson? Well, yeah. Hanson, yeah, no. Boy Meets

00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:53.000
World TV show, yes. So the friend of the main character who in the show, his name is Sean, yeah. I

00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.000
don't know the actor's name. I could look it up. Adorable. I remember, I remember thinking he was so

00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:55.000
cute, and he was kind of like, I don't know if he was the bad boy, but he was like, more rebellious. I

00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:56.000
want to say I don't remember the plot of that show.

00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:57.000
Elsie

00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:58.000
He was sort of like their version of the morally gray character.

00:06:58.000 --> 00:06:59.000
Emma

00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:00.000
Yeah, I think he was meant to be morally gray, but it's like a family show on a network TV. Yeah, so

00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:01.000
yeah, but I remember thinking he was so cute, so there's that. But as far as, like, movies we watched

00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:02.000
over and over, we had, like, a collection of VHS tapes, and that was kind of it. And in my mind, it's like

00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:03.000
Sister Act, Sister Act, two little giants, rookie of the year. All of those were great big hits. Didn't have any

00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:04.000
crushes in those, necessarily. But I feel like I've watched Sister Act and Sister Act Two more times than

00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.000
any human should ever watch them, and I love them so much, so much.

00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:06.000
Elsie

00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.000
Yeah, no, me too.

00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:08.000
Emma

00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:09.000
Little Rascals, that one too, with the you know. So I was always like, Whoopi Goldberg. I was kind of

00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:10.000
like an icon for me growing up. And I'm like, Oh yeah, rascals, she's in that too.

00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:11.000
Elsie

00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:12.000
I think that a lot. I think about, like, Do you have a crush on the actor, or do you have a crush on the

00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:13.000
role, the character that they played? Because usually, for me, it's actually just the character that they

00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:14.000
played in that one context, like, I don't want them to be a real person at all. Yeah, you know, and that

00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:15.000
makes a difference, yeah?

00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:16.000
Emma

00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:17.000
Oh, for sure, yeah. Because I just love Hugh Jackman. Just straight up Hugh Jackman.

00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:18.000
Elsie

00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:19.000
Every version of Hugh Jackman, yeah.

00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:20.000
Emma

00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:21.000
It started with Wolverine, but then I was like, I think I just love this man. I don't actually know I'm not. I

00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:22.000
don't actually love this man. I don't know him at all. But you get it.

00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:23.000
Elsie

00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:24.000
She does though.

00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:25.000
Emma

00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:26.000
I'm being silly.

00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:27.000
Elsie

00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:28.000
It's like a 20 year long crush that started in high school.

00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.000
Emma

00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:30.000
So I feel like that might count for this. Yeah? Because I feel like the first X Men came out, I want to say I

00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:31.000
was in high school.

00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:32.000
Elsie

00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:33.000
Yeah, pretty sure. So, no, I remember when I was in my Ewan McGregor phase. You were in your

00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:34.000
Jackman phase, because they were like, our singing and dancing man.

00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:35.000
Emma

00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:36.000
That's true. Yeah. I didn't even know I could sing a dance at first. I was like, Wolverine, and then I saw

00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:37.000
him sing and dance. I'm like, Oh, my God, love him even more.

00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:38.000
Elsie

00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:39.000
Okay, it's time for our favorite segment. Would you like to read Dani's hot screaming hot take?

00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:40.000
Emma

00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:41.000
Yes. Here we go. Dani Says 99% of romantic comedies are terrible, especially for young people to

00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:42.000
watch. They peddle toxic relationship standards and set unrealistic expectations for in quotes, love and

00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:43.000
sex. Yes, even most Nancy Myers movies, I feel like that was directed at us. In this I love a good sex

00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:44.000
story. This isn't about being prudish. I just think that most rom coms are really bad cinema with really

00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.000
poor plots and don't add anything valuable to our culture.

00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:46.000
Elsie

00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:47.000
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm taking out my fire extinguisher. I'm giving every full 360 squirt all

00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:48.000
the way around. It's just fogging up in here. Now we can discuss, first of all, really bad cinema, really

00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:49.000
poor plots. Don't add anything valuable to culture. I'm gonna have to disagree with most of this. Okay,

00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:50.000
what I will say that I agree with? There's a. Thread here that I can pull at that I think is good. I think that

00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:51.000
our movie relationships realistic, no, no, but we can use our adult brains to realize that we don't have to

00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:52.000
take them literally. It's a story in a movie. You know what I mean? Like, I think that, like, we kind of get

00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:53.000
that already. So I think that, like, if you take them literally, like you take a Nancy Myers movie and you're

00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:54.000
like that Jude Law character in the holiday I want my husband to be exactly like that. That's kind of your

00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:55.000
own fault. That's for believing that, that that's a person that exists in the world instead of a character in

00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:56.000
a movie. You know, like Jack Black, all of them, I mean, they're they're characters, they're perfect. They

00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:57.000
have, you know, like, 40 lines, and all of them are perfect, and they're, you know, Kate Winslet.

00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:58.000
Emma

00:07:58.000 --> 00:07:59.000
They were written for the screen.

00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:00.000
Elsie

00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:01.000
So I think that it's actually on you if you take it too seriously. That's my hot take. I think we should be

00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:02.000
able to enjoy. Like, are their relationships kind of toxic and unrealistic, sure, but I think they're saying

00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:03.000
they don't have anything valuable to add to our culture. Is kind of like, like, I can't give them another

00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:04.000
like, I don't know. Like, I just, I think they have lots of valuable things to add to our culture. I think that

00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:05.000
they're iconic, they're fun, they're escapism, they bring us joy. It's a holiday tradition, you know, it's

00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:06.000
something that you do with your sister and you cry a little bit, you know, every single year. Like, I mean,

00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.000
how is that not adding to our culture? So I would defy I will die on that hill. I will say I hard disagree with

00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:08.000
this one. But I mean, yeah, are they unrealistic and preposterous? Sometimes, yes, yes, so yes, I'll give

00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:09.000
you that.

00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:10.000
Emma

00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:11.000
Yes, I pretty much agree with you. And I'm like, first off, how dare you, Nancy Myers, how dare you?

00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:12.000
Why did you have to bring up Nancy Myers caveat and bring that into it? Because I could have gotten

00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:13.000
on board with you slightly, if you had said, except for Nancy Martin, but instead, you did this. No, it's but

00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:14.000
I don't agree, though, but I will say, okay, so it's tough to defend an entire category of something,

00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:15.000
because the truth is, yeah, in this category romantic comedies, there are some good ones, and there

00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:16.000
are some stinkers. And that's just, you know, try to defend any full category of anything. So, you know, I

00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:17.000
think you almost have to talk about some specifics before you can really see if you agree or disagree

00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:18.000
with someone. So I'll say that for this. But I would also point out it's called romantic comedies. I think it's

00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:19.000
just hard for me to be like, You know what? This comedy didn't teach me enough about life.

00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:20.000
Elsie

00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:21.000
It didn't reflect the real world perfectly enough.

00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:22.000
Emma

00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:23.000
Yeah, I'm like, Did you laugh? Did you enjoy yourself? I think that's what comedy is for. And if it did

00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:24.000
make you reflect on life in any way, or tug at your heart somewhat, wow. Now it really did. You know,

00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:25.000
like, then I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this really went there. So because I'm just like, when I watch a

00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:26.000
Comedy, Romantic or otherwise, I'm just kind of, like, just wanting to chill. I'm probably like, eating some

00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:27.000
takeout and chilling for the night, like I actually don't necessarily need you to tell me what the perfect

00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:28.000
relationship is. Frankly, I don't look to movies to tell me that. Yeah, okay, so just make me laugh. Show

00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:29.000
me something wacky, give me a scenario that I will never see in the real world, because it has to be

00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:30.000
written and be on the screen for me to see it like, transport me somewhere interesting that I can't go to

00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:31.000
because I'm sitting on my couch.

00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:32.000
Elsie

00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:33.000
Make me fall in love with Jack Black and Jude Law in the same hour. Yeah, that is art.

00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:34.000
Emma

00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:35.000
Yeah, that is kind of art. I mean, Jack Black, you could get me there almost doing anything, because I

00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:36.000
love jack so much. But yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah. I mean, it's lower your expectations a little bit. And if

00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:37.000
you don't want to, and you just don't want to watch comedies, romantic or otherwise, no problem. It's

00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:38.000
not for everyone. That's fine, yeah, but, like, it's really not gonna teach you about relationships. I don't

00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:39.000
think you should get relationship advice from romantic comedies. You should just enjoy them. And if

00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:40.000
there is something in it that reminds you of something from life, very, good, excellent, fun, interesting,

00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:41.000
but, like, I don't know, so I'll say too, like in the category there are some that are more realistic than

00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:42.000
others, there are some that are more dramatic than others, and I tend to like those a little bit more than

00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.000
the ones that are just straight up wacky. But I also feel like straight up wacky is at least, like, it's got a

00:08:43.000 --> 00:08:44.000
lane, and it usually, they tend to really stay in that lane.

00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.000
Elsie

00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:46.000
For example, like, How to Lose a Guy in 10 days? You would say, straight up, wacky.

00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:47.000
Emma

00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:48.000
Yeah, you know, usually old school Matthew McConaughey ones are, like, just funny and fun. You

00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:49.000
should not get relationship advice from them, like the wedding planner. Don't get relationship advice

00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:50.000
from that. Just enjoy it. Just like have fun watching J Lo and Matthew McConaughey fall in love. It's fun

00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:51.000
if you only eat brown M M's after that, though, like, you're cool man. Like, this is just for fun. It's a

00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:52.000
movie. So I also have to say Nancy Myers movies again. How dare you I do think that they actually

00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:53.000
most of. Them, many of them do show this more complex thing that you don't see a lot of times in more

00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:54.000
wacky romantic comedies. And I think that's part of what makes them so timeless and fun. Same thing

00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:55.000
with Nora Ephron movies a lot of times. What else? Oh, I also just wrote that this is random, but I

00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:56.000
recently watched people we meet on vacation, which is an Emily when they turn into a movie. And I

00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:57.000
have no idea what the reviews are. I didn't look them up. I just watched it, and I loved it. My husband

00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:58.000
was like out one night, and I had takeout and watched it by myself, and it was a lovely evening. It was

00:08:58.000 --> 00:08:59.000
wonderful. I still think about the movie, and I really liked that book, too. So, and that's a romantic

00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:00.000
comedy, so there you go.

00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.000
Elsie

00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:02.000
Yeah, there aren't as many. They're a little bit of an endangered species in, you know, current movie

00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:03.000
theater, yeah, culture, there's not a so I feel like you have to kind of like, enjoy whatever you can get.

00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:04.000
And that's why a lot of the ones we talk about are older. I don't know if anyone saw but Nancy Myers

00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:05.000
did announce that she is making a new movie. And it is, it is a very big deal. It's been a long time, so it's

00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:06.000
a very very big deal.

00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:07.000
Emma

00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:08.000
There's also one out this has been a couple years ago now, but Jennifer Lawrence was in a romantic

00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:09.000
comedy that was more on the wacky side. It was like, she plays a woman her age, like, 3035, I don't

00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:10.000
know. And she's like, hired to date, slash sleep with like, an 18 year old. His parents hire her because

00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:11.000
they're like, We don't want him to go off to college a virgin, basically.

00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:12.000
Elsie

00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:13.000
What movie was that?

00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:14.000
Emma

00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:15.000
Okay, the movie's called No Hard Feelings. Okay, it came out some years ago, and it's more on the

00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:16.000
wacky side. Again. I don't think you are supposed to get relationship advice from this movie, but it was

00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:17.000
very funny and just just something really different that I hadn't really seen in this genre before, and I

00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:18.000
really appreciated it. I still think about scenes from it. It's just a really interesting movie. I also think

00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:19.000
Jennifer Lawrence tends to pick kind of interesting movies like I think she's an interesting actress. She's

00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:20.000
great who kind of does weird stuff here and there. And so when I saw she was doing a romantic

00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:21.000
comedy, I was like, Oh, I see that because I don't know what it's going to be. And it was weird. And I

00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:22.000
was like, well, that's fun. If you're like, Oh, it's a romantic comedy. This is how to fall in love and be in

00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:23.000
love. It's like, Nah, man, this is just, like, it's comedy. Yeah, it's just, just comedy with love in it. Don't

00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:24.000
worry about that so much sometimes.

00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:25.000
Elsie

00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:26.000
Yeah, to summarize, chill, yeah. You know what I mean, like, Let's just enjoy what we can get. You

00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:27.000
know, we are not canceling Nancy Meyer's movies. Hell no, not on my watch. No. Not now and not

00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:28.000
ever. Okay. I hope you all have a wonderful week. I'm gonna pass it on now to Nova for a joke or a fact

00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:29.000
with Nova, okay? Nova, what do you have for us this week?

00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:30.000
Nova

00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:31.000
I have a joke.

00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.000
Elsie

00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:33.000
A joke. Okay?

00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:34.000
Nova

00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.000
What do you do after giving your dog a bath? You pulled a pug out.

00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:36.000
Elsie

00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:37.000
Nice. All right. Thank you so much for joining us. We are out of hot takes now, so we need you to send

00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:38.000
us your hottest hot takes so that we can agree disagree or caveat for 15 minutes and our email is

00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:39.000
podcast at a beautiful mess.com We'll be back next week.