365 | Just Because They're Older Doesn't Mean We Change the Model
Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy
In this episode, I answer a thoughtful question about working with tweens and teens—particularly neurodivergent clients—and whether it's ever appropriate to "check in" verbally about things like school. I explain why, even with older children and adolescents, directly asking questions introduces an agenda, pulls the child into their head, and shifts us out of true child-centeredness. While play may look more activity-based and repetitive at this developmental stage, the core principles of CCPT remain exactly the same.
I also discuss why repetitive, competence-based play is both developmentally appropriate and therapeutically meaningful for tweens, teens, and children on the spectrum. Even when children don't verbalize their struggles, they are still working through confidence, emotional awareness, and relational skills in the playroom. When we trust the model, trust the child, and trust the process—without inserting topics or timelines—we preserve the outcomes we know CCPT produces. The moment we change the model, we no longer know the outcome.
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Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast
Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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0 00:00:00,519 --> 00:00:04,280 You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks, 1 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,260 your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching. 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:08,720 Hi, 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,800 I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, 4 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:10,699 The Kid Counselor. 5 00:00:10,779 --> 00:00:12,800 This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get 6 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,180 a master class in child-centered play therapy 7 00:00:15,439 --> 00:00:17,600 and practical support and application for your 8 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,219 work with children and their families. 9 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,620 In today's episode, 10 00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:23,819 I am answering a question from Katrina in the UK 11 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,059 and this is about working with 12 00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:28,659 tweens and teens. 13 00:00:29,399 --> 00:00:30,389 With CCPT 14 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,098 and 15 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,319 how that may look a little bit different. 16 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,080 The question is if it should look different. 17 00:00:36,189 --> 00:00:37,580 So we'll tackle that together. 18 00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:38,689 Briefly, 19 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,419 before I dive into the question, 20 00:00:40,439 --> 00:00:41,819 and I'll read parts of the email. 21 00:00:42,049 --> 00:00:44,720 I just want to wish all of you a really, 22 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,380 really happy New Year celebration. 23 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,365 I hope That you're able to 24 00:00:48,825 --> 00:00:52,465 reflect back on 2025 and celebrate all of the good 25 00:00:52,465 --> 00:00:55,845 things that you've been given and all of the wins 26 00:00:56,185 --> 00:00:58,965 and all of the successes and accomplishments. 27 00:00:59,224 --> 00:01:00,845 I hope that you're able to 28 00:01:01,014 --> 00:01:03,224 pensively look forward to 2026 29 00:01:03,825 --> 00:01:05,544 and think about what you would like to achieve, 30 00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:06,654 what your goals are, 31 00:01:07,065 --> 00:01:10,055 how you would like to dive more deeply into CCPT 32 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,605 and what that looks like in the way of advocacy and 33 00:01:13,864 --> 00:01:16,875 putting yourself out into the public as a leader in the field. 34 00:01:17,639 --> 00:01:22,139 And it is just one of my greatest joys to share life with you all. 35 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:22,760 So, 36 00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:25,120 thank you so much for hanging out with me each week. 37 00:01:25,239 --> 00:01:28,779 Thank you for all the emails and texts and messages and, 38 00:01:28,790 --> 00:01:30,349 and everything that you send my way. 39 00:01:30,529 --> 00:01:32,860 Thank you for the random gifts that show up at my door. 40 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,099 Thank you for 41 00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:36,900 all the things that you all do to let me know that 42 00:01:37,199 --> 00:01:38,279 we are in this together. 43 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,904 I'm so Very grateful for you all. 44 00:01:40,025 --> 00:01:40,474 So, 45 00:01:40,964 --> 00:01:43,434 please know that as I reflect back on 2025, 46 00:01:43,444 --> 00:01:45,014 I look forward to 2026, 47 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:48,805 you all are very much at the heart of my past and my future. 48 00:01:48,944 --> 00:01:49,245 So, 49 00:01:49,305 --> 00:01:50,165 I appreciate y'all. 50 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,014 Speaking of 2026, 51 00:01:52,385 --> 00:01:55,574 if you all have been thinking about the live event in Tampa, 52 00:01:55,904 --> 00:01:56,775 Field of Dreams, 53 00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,165 January 31st, 54 00:01:58,294 --> 00:01:59,065 February 1st, 55 00:01:59,135 --> 00:02:00,205 2026. 56 00:02:01,029 --> 00:02:03,069 You only have like one more day 57 00:02:03,309 --> 00:02:04,330 to save $100. 58 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:05,269 So, 59 00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:08,690 early bird pricing ends December 31st at midnight. 60 00:02:09,309 --> 00:02:09,500 So, 61 00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:10,750 right as you ring in the new year, 62 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,649 you have lost your opportunity to save yourself $100 63 00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:14,550 and 64 00:02:14,779 --> 00:02:16,119 you can do a lot with $100. 65 00:02:16,309 --> 00:02:16,929 So, 66 00:02:17,110 --> 00:02:18,710 don't wait until January. 67 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:19,199 Obviously, 68 00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:20,779 the event's not till the end of January, 69 00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:21,690 so you can register 70 00:02:22,139 --> 00:02:22,570 a while. 71 00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:24,619 But I'm trying to save y'all money. 72 00:02:24,699 --> 00:02:24,839 So, 73 00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:25,850 if you've been thinking about it, 74 00:02:25,899 --> 00:02:27,570 even if you cannot come live, 75 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,399 register for the webinar 76 00:02:29,979 --> 00:02:32,300 where you can actually be there live, 77 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:33,679 but just watch it on your 78 00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:35,440 laptop or whatever. 79 00:02:35,899 --> 00:02:38,539 And then there's also the on-demand option where you 80 00:02:38,539 --> 00:02:40,619 can catch all the information after the fact. 81 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:41,020 So, 82 00:02:41,779 --> 00:02:44,320 You're gonna save money whichever option you choose. 83 00:02:44,699 --> 00:02:48,940 I'm just trying to make you aware you only have through December 31st at midnight. 84 00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:49,350 So, 85 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:50,580 if you've been thinking about it, 86 00:02:50,619 --> 00:02:51,800 if you've been trying to make plans, 87 00:02:51,809 --> 00:02:54,130 and now that the craziness of Christmas is over, 88 00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:55,899 hurry up and sign up. 89 00:02:55,979 --> 00:02:57,970 I don't want y'all to spend more money than you have to, 90 00:02:58,089 --> 00:02:59,660 and I really want to hang out with y'all. 91 00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:00,119 So, 92 00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:03,210 whether it's looking at you on the screen or looking at you in person, 93 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,639 so come hang out. 94 00:03:04,899 --> 00:03:05,259 OK, 95 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,839 so let me read parts of Katrina's email and then we will dive in together. 96 00:03:09,869 --> 00:03:11,360 I have a question about check-ins, 97 00:03:11,429 --> 00:03:12,050 and it's 98 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,009 aimed more toward when we work with teens and tweens 99 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,490 with neurodiversities 100 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:20,309 who can be less inclined to identify and offer up their emotions, 101 00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:23,869 less inclined to engage in role play or small role play, 102 00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:26,729 and tend to practice a repetitive kind of play 103 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:27,869 such as ball games, 104 00:03:28,029 --> 00:03:28,550 card games, 105 00:03:28,589 --> 00:03:31,190 and other games involving competence and self-esteem. 106 00:03:32,149 --> 00:03:34,899 Is it ever OK to check in directly with them on how school, 107 00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:35,429 for example, 108 00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,130 is going? 109 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,139 And if so, 110 00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:38,970 when would you do this and how? 111 00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:39,910 All right, 112 00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:41,419 I'm really glad for this question. 113 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:42,139 So, 114 00:03:42,229 --> 00:03:42,770 let me 115 00:03:42,899 --> 00:03:46,210 unpack a couple of things before I actually tackle the answer. 116 00:03:47,029 --> 00:03:48,710 When we work with teens and tweens, 117 00:03:48,789 --> 00:03:50,949 we know that it is going to become more 118 00:03:50,949 --> 00:03:54,050 of an activity-based play than a toy-based play. 119 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:57,419 That is a very normal developmental process 120 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,490 where they will still want something to do. 121 00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:04,699 But it will not necessarily be as toy-based and play-based as our younger clients. 122 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:06,029 So what you're describing, 123 00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:06,550 Katrina, 124 00:04:06,559 --> 00:04:08,130 is very age appropriate. 125 00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:12,410 They are going to likely want to do something more concrete 126 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,949 and more activity-driven. 127 00:04:14,779 --> 00:04:15,940 My second comment 128 00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:16,839 is 129 00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:21,079 kids on the spectrum are very repetitive in their play. 130 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:24,920 They are not likely to do a lot of creative and imaginative play. 131 00:04:25,429 --> 00:04:27,649 They will often do the same thing every time, 132 00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:28,600 and they will often 133 00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:32,019 take something that they're very familiar with or that they love, 134 00:04:32,179 --> 00:04:33,519 and they will replicate it. 135 00:04:34,019 --> 00:04:35,859 So they will replicate video games. 136 00:04:35,929 --> 00:04:37,339 They will replicate characters. 137 00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:38,480 They will replicate 138 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,399 TV shows or movies. 139 00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:44,279 Things that they really love and have a lot of knowledge of, 140 00:04:44,809 --> 00:04:47,959 they will work that into their play and then across sessions, 141 00:04:48,049 --> 00:04:50,130 their play is extremely repetitive. 142 00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:54,940 So that is also another very normal and appropriate observation that you've had. 143 00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:56,119 So now, 144 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,230 let me get to the answer. 145 00:04:57,899 --> 00:05:01,100 Is it ever OK to directly check in with them on how school's going, 146 00:05:01,179 --> 00:05:01,779 for example, 147 00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:03,260 and when would you do this and how? 148 00:05:03,619 --> 00:05:05,899 It's no longer CCPT if we do that. 149 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,410 We know that kids 150 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,869 are going to address what they need to. 151 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,279 We know they're going to bring up what they need to. 152 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,679 If they need to talk to us about something, 153 00:05:15,799 --> 00:05:16,500 they will. 154 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,040 If they are needing to tackle something, 155 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,480 we trust the child. 156 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,959 We trust the process. 157 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,799 We know that it will naturally work itself in, 158 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,380 and it may not be 159 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:28,600 in conversation. 160 00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:29,000 In fact, 161 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,480 most likely it will not be. 162 00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:34,429 With older kids sometimes they're they're OK to talk, 163 00:05:34,829 --> 00:05:36,250 but most often 164 00:05:36,589 --> 00:05:39,589 it will be either a one sentence thought 165 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:43,480 woven into an otherwise activity driven session, 166 00:05:44,109 --> 00:05:44,690 or 167 00:05:45,029 --> 00:05:47,970 they'll work out what they need to through what they're doing 168 00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:48,950 in session. 169 00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,290 They don't always need to say it out loud 170 00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:52,809 for it to be tackled. 171 00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,369 And so what we find often is 172 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,250 kids are working on self-confidence 173 00:05:58,429 --> 00:05:59,329 in the playroom. 174 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,140 And that is so that they can better interact at school. 175 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,940 They're working on becoming 176 00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:08,540 more aware of their emotions 177 00:06:08,809 --> 00:06:10,959 and their emotional vocabulary development 178 00:06:11,239 --> 00:06:14,420 so that they are able to relate differently to peers. 179 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:16,869 They naturally work together, 180 00:06:16,989 --> 00:06:19,149 so a kid doesn't have to come in and say, 181 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:21,329 I don't get along with anyone at school, 182 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:25,369 or I feel really lonely because I don't have any friends. 183 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:30,779 They're naturally working on that stuff even though it hasn't been disclosed. 184 00:06:31,399 --> 00:06:33,000 So if we were to say, 185 00:06:33,239 --> 00:06:34,579 I wonder how school's going, 186 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,920 we've now brought in a topic that the child didn't bring up 1st. 187 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,000 2nd, 188 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,579 we have an agenda. 189 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:42,959 And 3, 190 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:46,799 we're forcing a child into their heads when they live in their hearts. 191 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,839 Most kids don't feel comfortable, 192 00:06:48,929 --> 00:06:50,859 nor do they want to talk about stuff. 193 00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:54,070 Older kids sometimes are OK with it, 194 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,619 but certainly not younger kids. 195 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,019 And if a child doesn't start the conversation, 196 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,640 then we know that they're not willing or able to talk about it. 197 00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:04,420 So by us bringing it up, 198 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,109 that puts a child in an interesting position. 199 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:11,429 They either have to indulge the question because they feel like they have to, 200 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:13,440 or they have to ignore you, 201 00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:15,739 which they likely don't want to do either, 202 00:07:16,399 --> 00:07:17,500 or you get the 203 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:18,359 fine. 204 00:07:19,149 --> 00:07:22,140 Which is a non-answer answer because they don't want to engage. 205 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,470 So the goal is, 206 00:07:24,559 --> 00:07:25,450 even when 207 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,269 And a child is older, 208 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,160 even if they are on the spectrum or have neurodiversities, 209 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,920 we are going to fully adhere to the model 210 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,850 and trust the process because we know the outcome. 211 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,829 As soon as we do something different, 212 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,709 we no longer know the outcome. 213 00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:43,660 We know CCPT is effective for ADHD. 214 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,359 We know CCPT is effective for ASD. 215 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,760 So as soon as we do anything to add anything in, 216 00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:51,820 take anything away. 217 00:07:52,649 --> 00:07:55,730 We don't have guaranteed gains and outcomes anymore. 218 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,829 And so 100% Katrina, 219 00:07:58,950 --> 00:08:00,369 you just stay the course. 220 00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,390 And if they bring something up, 221 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,640 it's because they're willing, 222 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,089 ready and able to do so. 223 00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,450 They might play it out instead of bringing it up verbally. 224 00:08:09,859 --> 00:08:10,239 They're 225 00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:10,579 ready, 226 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:10,929 willing, 227 00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:11,899 and able to do so. 228 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:14,940 We don't want to take charge and make it our timeline, 229 00:08:15,019 --> 00:08:15,570 our pace, 230 00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:16,709 our topics. 231 00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:17,570 So, 232 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:18,730 trust the process, 233 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:19,970 always and forever. 234 00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:20,980 Trust the model, 235 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:21,839 trust the child. 236 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,239 Say those things on repeat, 237 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,079 and then we'll all be adherent it as we can possibly be. 238 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,579 I was just talking about that on a call earlier today. 239 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,799 You might get sick of saying that to yourself, 240 00:08:33,219 --> 00:08:34,359 but trust the child, 241 00:08:34,659 --> 00:08:35,380 trust the model, 242 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,510 trust the process 243 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,599 over and over and over on repeat, 244 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:42,039 and that helps you really recenter yourself 245 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,000 and know that you're doing exactly what you need to 246 00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:47,599 as long as you remain very 247 00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:49,460 faithful to CCPT. 248 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:50,640 Katrina, 249 00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:51,830 thank you so much for the question. 250 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,820 I hope that is helpful for all of you. 251 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,599 Know how much I love you. 252 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:56,640 Happy New Year. 253 00:08:56,719 --> 00:08:57,630 We'll talk again soon. 254 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:58,159 Bye. 255 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:03,119 Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks. 256 00:09:03,369 --> 00:09:05,289 For more episodes and resources, 257 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:10,210 please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.