293 | CCPT Purism: Why Non-Directivity Works

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing in the CCPT purism series.

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Last episode,

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we talked about the subtle ways that we can drift.

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And how we don't even sometimes realize that we've drifted away from CCPT

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and in today's episode,

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we are talking through why being non-directive is effective,

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essentially why non-directivity works.

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So if you think about the drifts that pull us

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out of the model like we covered last week,

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this episode is really about why we should remain anchored in the model.

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So we have reasons that we might drift away.

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These are going to be the reasons that we remain anchored.

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So

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essentially tackling the

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skepticism,

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the criticism

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that many therapists

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and especially outsiders

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have about non-directivity

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and

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really the the purpose of this episode is to kind of lay out the clinical reasoning.

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And the developmental rationale

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for trusting the child's lead.

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And if we do that,

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it allows us to stop defaulting

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to directive tools

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and lean more deeply into the model's power and the model's efficacy.

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So,

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we are going to talk through why we trust the child's process,

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and here's the kicker,

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even when it looks like nothing is happening.

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That's always the hang up.

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Well,

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they're not talking.

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Well,

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they're not playing.

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Well,

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they're not coming into the playroom.

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Well,

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they're not addressing their anger.

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Well,

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they're just building with Legos for six weeks straight.

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They're just fill in the blank.

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Why do we trust the child's process even when it looks like nothing is happening?

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That's what this episode is about.

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So,

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here are

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Common statements that are made,

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I mean,

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there are variations of them,

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but these are kind of the overarching statements as a category

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that we hear pretty regularly.

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So CCPT is just letting a child do whatever they want.

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Or some variation thereof.

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Another is,

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but what if the child needs to be taught something?

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What if the child needs anger management?

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What if the child needs coping skills?

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What if the child needs breathing techniques?

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What if the child needs emotional vocabulary?

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OK,

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so that's another.

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Another

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Well,

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how can they change?

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How can they heal?

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How can they grow?

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How can they fill in the verb,

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if I don't help them make sense of what they're doing?

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Oh boy,

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that's a slippery slope if I've ever heard one.

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OK,

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and those are kind of the top 3.

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There are certainly more,

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but that,

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that's kind of a probably a top 3 list all day.

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So,

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when we think about

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those statements,

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Well,

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I guess technically questions,

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we think about those questions,

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they very much come from a directive mindset.

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And maybe more specifically,

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often from therapists who were trained to quote fix.

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If you have a background in fixing problems,

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solving problems,

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addressing problems.

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You are the one responsible for making things better.

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That's where you end up with those questions in your head.

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And the danger of that

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is kids aren't broken.

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Kids don't need to be fixed.

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And so if we have any notion

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that we need to fix

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and therefore there has to be some agenda.

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It's no longer child-centered,

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it's no longer non-directive.

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But non-directivity is the most effective method.

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So we have to be really careful with

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that line of thinking,

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especially if it comes from previous training.

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So let's look at some

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research supported concepts that I think will help

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look at layers here.

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So,

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the first,

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children know what they need to work on.

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We believe that at our core,

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or we wouldn't be CCPT.

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They know what they need to work on.

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Every bit of their play is purposeful.

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Nothing is random.

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Nothing they say

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is random.

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Nothing they do is random,

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no part of a play session is random.

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There's purpose in every second of it.

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When they choose not to play,

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it's purposeful.

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When they choose to cuss you out,

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it's purposeful.

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When they choose to have a lobby session,

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it's purposeful.

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When they choose to not speak a word to you for 20 sessions straight,

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it's purposeful.

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Nothing is random.

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When children are given the freedom

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and the emotional safety,

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they will naturally

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address themes.

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Conflicts,

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dynamics,

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they will bring whatever they need to work on

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into their play.

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They know the things in their lives that need resolution.

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We believe that kids know their struggles.

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So therefore,

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they're going to work on them,

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if given emotional freedom and safety within the relationship and the playroom.

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This is the self-actualizing tendency.

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That's the whole premise,

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right?

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Let's go back to Rogers.

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Humans are wired to self-actualize.

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If we believe that,

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we also then have to believe that children know what they need to work on.

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So this whole notion of what if they need to learn something.

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They don't need to learn anything,

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they will learn something,

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they will figure it out,

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they will work through it,

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they will solve the problem,

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but they don't need to learn anything.

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They're self-actualizing,

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they'll sort it out.

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OK,

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second concept

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is that symbolic play.

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Accesses emotional depth.

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And here's what I mean by that.

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We know that kids aren't verbal.

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They cannot communicate their feelings

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with their words most often.

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But they can show them symbolically through their play.

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So when they lead.

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They are following an internal emotional map.

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When they lead,

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when they're in charge,

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when they get to decide what happens in the playroom,

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they have an internal emotional map that is guiding every step along the way.

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We

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don't see it.

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We're not aware of it.

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Dora just popped into my head.

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That's,

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that's a digression.

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Anyway,

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I literally am singing,

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I'm the map.

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OK,

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anyway,

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back,

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back on track.

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When they lead,

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we do not see their map,

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OK?

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But it is there.

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It is very accessible to them,

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very in their awareness.

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So if we interfere,

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or if we interrupt,

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or if we intervene.

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We interrupt their process.

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They are following a map.

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They have the ability to play,

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to access their emotions and the depth of them.

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We just need to get out of the way.

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They know where they're going.

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They know how to get there.

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We need to get out of their way.

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We serve as the therapeutic guide rails,

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not the driver.

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Another concept,

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insight emerges from their experience.

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But never from explanation.

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Here's what I mean,

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true insight.

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Think about a scenario that you have had

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where you have had a moment of true insight

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about your life,

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your relationships,

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your situation

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like you've had that aha moment,

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that light bulb moment.

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It has been a moment of true insight for you.

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It was felt

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That was an experienced felt moment.

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It was not taught to you.

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Now

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I believe sometimes God uses people to

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provide insight for us.

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I think it's important to seek wise counsel.

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I think that we should surround ourselves with people who are going to

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advise us

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in very healthy and appropriate and wise ways.

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But when you experience true insight,

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it might have come from something someone said to you,

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but that is a felt moment,

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not a taught one.

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And as children play,

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they are integrating their emotional experiences.

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They're feeling,

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they're emoting,

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they're experiencing,

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they're integrating all of them together.

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It is never through logic.

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It is never through interpretation.

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It's never through the words that we're saying.

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The words that we say are important.

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But that is not part of their

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experience that they're able to provide insight.

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That's not what's happening.

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The child will never be able to verbalize their growth.

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They're never going to be able to explain their growth.

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They're never going to be able to talk about their growth.

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They will live it.

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Because it's felt

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It's experienced

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So it is never about explanation.

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We don't ever have to teach a child,

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talk to a child,

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enlighten a child.

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They

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use

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their own experiences to do so.

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Next,

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the therapeutic relationship,

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and we've talked about this so many times,

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but it bears repeating.

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The therapeutic relationship is the change agent.

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CCPT is never about behavior.

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It's never about

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correcting behavior,

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it's never about changing behavior,

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it's never about behavior at all.

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It's about the child's ability to transform themselves

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through the relationship that's built.

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And here's why

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be with attitudes.

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Pop quiz,

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what are they?

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I'm sure you yelled.

283
00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:20,599
I'm here,

284
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:21,080
I hear you,

285
00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:21,599
I understand,

286
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,700
I care and I delight in you.

287
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,190
OK,

288
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:23,830
why?

289
00:10:24,609 --> 00:10:27,039
Because when the child feels accepted.

290
00:10:27,869 --> 00:10:28,809
Unconditionally

291
00:10:29,599 --> 00:10:31,710
Loved unconditionally

292
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:32,789
seen,

293
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,109
heard,

294
00:10:34,599 --> 00:10:35,309
noticed,

295
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:36,349
trusted.

296
00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:38,940
When they experience all those things.

297
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:41,159
Through the relationship.

298
00:10:42,169 --> 00:10:44,080
They internalize that experience.

299
00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:46,409
And guess what it does?

300
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:47,080
Y'all,

301
00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:48,390
this is so powerful.

302
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,549
It reorganizes their sense of who they are.

303
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:57,590
They actually are able to reorganize internally

304
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,559
their sense of identity,

305
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,190
their sense of worth,

306
00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:03,109
their sense of concept.

307
00:11:03,859 --> 00:11:05,809
Their sense of who they are,

308
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:10,729
they're able to reorganize it because of the relationship that is created.

309
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,150
And through that relationship and the be with attitudes and

310
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:18,380
them feeling accepted and loved and seen and all those things

311
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:20,020
they internalize it

312
00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:22,539
and they have a new sense of who they are.

313
00:11:23,630 --> 00:11:25,030
Let's go back to Landreth's words,

314
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:28,070
just noticing a child is a powerful builder of self-esteem.

315
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,530
All we do is create a relationship

316
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:34,250
where they get to experience.

317
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:37,919
A connection with an adult unlike any other connection

318
00:11:37,919 --> 00:11:39,559
with any other adult they have in the world.

319
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:44,500
And they actually reorganize their entire sense of who they are.

320
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:45,710
It's incredible.

321
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:48,770
Another concept

322
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:50,969
They are able

323
00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:51,789
to

324
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:52,789
develop

325
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,380
self regulation.

326
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:57,500
They're able to develop self-confidence

327
00:11:58,030 --> 00:12:00,109
and they're able to develop autonomy.

328
00:12:01,059 --> 00:12:02,619
Naturally and organically.

329
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:08,229
The relationship and the environment are conducive.

330
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:12,590
to the child actually figuring out how to do this

331
00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:14,299
naturally on their own.

332
00:12:14,510 --> 00:12:15,859
They will naturally regulate,

333
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,940
they will naturally increase self-confidence,

334
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,530
and they will develop autonomy.

335
00:12:19,669 --> 00:12:20,140
Why?

336
00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:21,039
Well,

337
00:12:21,309 --> 00:12:22,900
the relationship and the environment,

338
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:23,859
we need both.

339
00:12:25,039 --> 00:12:26,219
Their nervous system

340
00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:27,460
is allowed to settle.

341
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:29,450
Their

342
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,049
emotional regulation

343
00:12:31,599 --> 00:12:33,219
can become more consistent.

344
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:36,450
They increase their confidence,

345
00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:37,929
their sense of who they are.

346
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,619
They understand self responsibility,

347
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,599
so autonomy is strengthened.

348
00:12:45,859 --> 00:12:47,809
These things will naturally emerge.

349
00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:48,859
They don't need to be taught,

350
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,169
they don't need to be shown,

351
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,969
they don't need to be lectured to.

352
00:12:52,179 --> 00:12:53,609
You don't need a treatment plan,

353
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:54,890
you don't need any of those things.

354
00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:55,349
Why?

355
00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:56,659
They'll naturally do it.

356
00:12:57,989 --> 00:12:59,719
The relationship and the environment

357
00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,489
affords those changes.

358
00:13:02,669 --> 00:13:04,640
This is the developmental repair.

359
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,059
that CCPT offers.

360
00:13:08,299 --> 00:13:09,890
All of those concepts,

361
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:11,950
all 5 of those concepts,

362
00:13:12,299 --> 00:13:14,380
that allows for developmental repair.

363
00:13:15,059 --> 00:13:16,880
And it comes without instruction.

364
00:13:18,469 --> 00:13:20,609
We're not instructing them on anything.

365
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:21,659
We're just

366
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,739
being with them.

367
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,250
So

368
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:26,830
Those are

369
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,489
concepts that I thought was really important to discuss.

370
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:32,330
We also have evidence.

371
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,049
We have

372
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,559
empirical data

373
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:36,750
proving this.

374
00:13:37,119 --> 00:13:39,950
You can look at Bratton's meta-analytic research.

375
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:41,869
That's your probably go to

376
00:13:42,599 --> 00:13:44,590
Ray did some meta-analytic work too,

377
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,309
but

378
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,510
you have meta-analytic research

379
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,770
that shows CCPT is effective

380
00:13:50,119 --> 00:13:52,119
for almost all presenting concerns.

381
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,020
In addition,

382
00:13:54,239 --> 00:13:56,919
so not only do we know that it works for almost every situation.

383
00:13:58,119 --> 00:14:00,429
We also have longitudinal studies

384
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:06,320
suggesting that lasting change in behavior and regulation and family function

385
00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:08,349
exist long after

386
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,369
the treatment

387
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,669
is no longer present.

388
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,270
That's specifically out of research.

389
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,159
If you look at self-report from CCPTs.

390
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:19,869
Therapists report

391
00:14:20,239 --> 00:14:21,520
that even quiet.

392
00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:24,340
Or chaotic play

393
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,989
can lead to change and resolution.

394
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:29,609
So even when a child doesn't talk,

395
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:30,590
I know I can't see you,

396
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:31,580
but I'm imagining,

397
00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:32,760
raise your hand

398
00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:35,869
if you have seen progress and change in a child that

399
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:37,900
has never uttered one word in the playroom to you.

400
00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:39,469
I'm raising mine.

401
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,630
I know you're raising yours because we see it.

402
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,760
Have you ever had a kid come in and be a frantic,

403
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,669
chaotic,

404
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:49,880
cyclone Tasmanian devil every single session.

405
00:14:50,739 --> 00:14:52,849
And you still see change in resolution?

406
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:55,010
I'm raising my hand too.

407
00:14:55,169 --> 00:14:55,559
Why?

408
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:59,010
Because that's anecdotal evidence that we have seen with our own eyes.

409
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:01,450
And

410
00:15:01,719 --> 00:15:02,950
therapists also

411
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:06,190
say that children move through play themes.

412
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:08,270
In their phases

413
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:10,580
So,

414
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,229
they have their initiation.

415
00:15:12,849 --> 00:15:14,280
And then they have their resistance,

416
00:15:14,409 --> 00:15:15,609
and then they have their work,

417
00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:16,820
then they have termination.

418
00:15:17,869 --> 00:15:18,440
We see it.

419
00:15:19,909 --> 00:15:22,309
So not only do we have empirical

420
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,710
data

421
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,190
indicating that CCPT works,

422
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,280
meaning

423
00:15:27,599 --> 00:15:28,640
non-directive.

424
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,989
We've also seen it work with our own eyes.

425
00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:35,080
So then that begs the question.

426
00:15:36,359 --> 00:15:36,989
Why

427
00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:38,630
is this hard for us?

428
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:40,770
Why

429
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,289
do we struggle to remain non-directive?

430
00:15:44,119 --> 00:15:45,280
And sometimes

431
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:48,690
many of us are largely non-directive,

432
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:52,690
but we have that one thing that we just can't seem to let go of

433
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,369
because of

434
00:15:55,299 --> 00:15:56,950
education because of background,

435
00:15:57,140 --> 00:16:00,409
because of our training in a different field or a different job

436
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:02,369
because we come from

437
00:16:02,739 --> 00:16:05,859
schools because we whatever the scenario is.

438
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:10,849
There's usually that one thing that we just can't seem to conquer and let go of

439
00:16:11,099 --> 00:16:13,030
that's maybe not fully directive,

440
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:13,489
but

441
00:16:13,619 --> 00:16:14,849
a little bit directive.

442
00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:17,880
Why is this so hard for us?

443
00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:19,210
Well,

444
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:20,090
I would argue

445
00:16:20,289 --> 00:16:21,440
it takes a lot of faith.

446
00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:24,349
And faith's hard to come by sometimes.

447
00:16:26,849 --> 00:16:27,469
It's

448
00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:29,059
the belief in things unseen.

449
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:30,659
That's hard.

450
00:16:32,349 --> 00:16:33,830
So it requires faith.

451
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,710
It also requires a lot of patience.

452
00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:38,599
And

453
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:40,650
no one likes to pray for patience.

454
00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:41,900
So,

455
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:44,200
I mean that's that's hard in and of itself,

456
00:16:44,809 --> 00:16:46,609
and then it takes discipline.

457
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,760
You concoct those three traits.

458
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,200
You find someone that's faith

459
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:54,309
filled with faith,

460
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,039
patient,

461
00:16:55,289 --> 00:16:56,719
and disciplined,

462
00:16:57,219 --> 00:16:57,609
whew,

463
00:16:57,969 --> 00:16:59,729
they can do anything and go anywhere.

464
00:17:00,409 --> 00:17:01,440
The ticket's written.

465
00:17:01,969 --> 00:17:02,359
Why?

466
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:03,150
Because

467
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,040
those are difficult traits

468
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,880
to possess and maintain.

469
00:17:08,308 --> 00:17:08,858
So

470
00:17:09,068 --> 00:17:10,499
you have that trifecta,

471
00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:11,428
you have to have faith,

472
00:17:11,468 --> 00:17:12,628
patience and discipline.

473
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:14,098
That's hard.

474
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,660
It's not impossible.

475
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:16,469
Look,

476
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:19,239
one of my favorite phrases is anything worth doing is not easy.

477
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:22,029
So if you're committed to CCPT,

478
00:17:22,098 --> 00:17:23,229
I promise you I've never,

479
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,378
I've never once told you it's gonna be easy.

480
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:26,659
It's simple,

481
00:17:27,108 --> 00:17:27,917
but it's not easy.

482
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:29,829
It's hard.

483
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,729
But it's worthwhile.

484
00:17:33,979 --> 00:17:34,709
And

485
00:17:34,869 --> 00:17:37,069
there's pressure to get quick results,

486
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:37,859
first of all.

487
00:17:38,939 --> 00:17:40,369
There's pressure to

488
00:17:40,699 --> 00:17:42,969
demonstrate and report progress.

489
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,280
There's pressure to do something

490
00:17:46,449 --> 00:17:47,280
in session,

491
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:48,530
that's air quoted,

492
00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:48,890
by the way,

493
00:17:48,969 --> 00:17:49,989
you can't see me air quoting,

494
00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:50,920
so I have to say it,

495
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,160
do something,

496
00:17:52,449 --> 00:17:52,609
you know,

497
00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:55,560
it makes us feel better when we can write down that,

498
00:17:55,569 --> 00:17:55,760
oh,

499
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,079
we did a worksheet with them.

500
00:17:57,329 --> 00:17:58,040
Give me a break.

501
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:00,959
But we feel pressured to do something.

502
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:02,270
We have to report progress.

503
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,699
We have to show quick results,

504
00:18:03,869 --> 00:18:04,750
but here's the thing.

505
00:18:05,619 --> 00:18:08,329
Just like a child choosing not to choose is a choice.

506
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:13,160
Just like a child choosing not to play is a trackable behavior.

507
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,839
Doing nothing

508
00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:18,589
As a CCPT therapist

509
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,030
is doing something.

510
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,390
Ponder that as Gary Landreth says.

511
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,310
Ponder that y'all for real.

512
00:18:27,599 --> 00:18:28,469
Ponder that

513
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:29,750
doing nothing.

514
00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,069
As a child-centered play therapist

515
00:18:32,329 --> 00:18:33,219
is doing something.

516
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,819
It's doing a lot of things actually.

517
00:18:37,109 --> 00:18:38,660
Maybe first and foremost,

518
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,459
it's creating space

519
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,099
for the child to do it themselves.

520
00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,209
Whatever it is.

521
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:47,569
When we do nothing.

522
00:18:48,719 --> 00:18:49,599
We're doing

523
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:51,089
a major something.

524
00:18:52,150 --> 00:18:53,489
We're creating space,

525
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,770
we're trusting them,

526
00:18:54,859 --> 00:18:56,010
we're being patient,

527
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,410
we're being disciplined,

528
00:18:57,479 --> 00:18:58,989
we're staying out of the way.

529
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,810
We are believing the model

530
00:19:01,060 --> 00:19:01,969
and we're saying

531
00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:02,900
you do it.

532
00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:04,489
You can do this.

533
00:19:06,099 --> 00:19:06,339
Wow,

534
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,300
like if that doesn't light a fire,

535
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:09,410
I don't know what does.

536
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:13,260
We choose to do nothing because it's doing something.

537
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:16,229
And trust me,

538
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:17,420
doing something

539
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:18,300
is easy.

540
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,010
Doing a worksheet,

541
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,030
doing an activity,

542
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:25,430
having a discussion.

543
00:19:26,229 --> 00:19:28,329
Creating something as a craft,

544
00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:30,339
looking at a feelings wheel,

545
00:19:30,709 --> 00:19:30,829
you,

546
00:19:30,910 --> 00:19:32,479
you fill in the blank.

547
00:19:32,989 --> 00:19:34,040
It's easy to do that.

548
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,229
You know what's really hard?

549
00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,949
Choosing to do nothing because you know that it's what that

550
00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:43,060
child needs and because you know that it's doing something.

551
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:45,430
So

552
00:19:46,349 --> 00:19:47,900
If you get to a point

553
00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,380
where you are questioning whether.

554
00:19:51,099 --> 00:19:52,829
CCPT is working.

555
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:53,910
In general,

556
00:19:54,079 --> 00:19:55,430
with a specific kid,

557
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,189
with a specific scenario,

558
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,670
with a specific diagnosis,

559
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,680
where whatever your degree of questioning is,

560
00:20:03,739 --> 00:20:05,790
Here are my encouragements to you

561
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:06,910
first.

562
00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,030
Find the most subtle of shifts.

563
00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:13,449
You become a master

564
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:16,380
at looking for nuanced change.

565
00:20:18,329 --> 00:20:20,829
Rarely is it so overt that it just

566
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,239
hits you like a brick.

567
00:20:23,209 --> 00:20:24,589
Most of the time it's

568
00:20:24,969 --> 00:20:25,849
a grain of sand.

569
00:20:27,479 --> 00:20:31,089
You have to really pay attention and really be attuned,

570
00:20:31,449 --> 00:20:33,290
but there will be subtle shifts.

571
00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:35,239
There will be subtle shift in behavior,

572
00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:37,400
there'll be a subtle shift in

573
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:38,250
a theme.

574
00:20:39,209 --> 00:20:41,160
There'll be a subtle shift in.

575
00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:45,339
The eye contact check-ins that a child is having with you.

576
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:49,130
There'll be a subtle shift in what the child says,

577
00:20:49,219 --> 00:20:50,380
or how they say it,

578
00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:52,099
or what words they choose.

579
00:20:53,229 --> 00:20:55,380
There are always absolute on purpose,

580
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:56,390
subtle shifts.

581
00:20:57,319 --> 00:21:00,410
You just have to be really attuned and present and attentive.

582
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:04,920
So if at any point you are questioning whether it's working,

583
00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:07,000
challenge yourself to find a subtle shift,

584
00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:07,780
it will be there.

585
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:09,239
I promise you,

586
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:11,020
I don't make promises that I can't keep.

587
00:21:11,349 --> 00:21:12,589
I'm very intentional about that.

588
00:21:12,630 --> 00:21:15,310
I promise you you will find a subtle shift if you look for one.

589
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:17,810
And

590
00:21:18,369 --> 00:21:21,680
track the arc of the child's progress,

591
00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:22,800
not

592
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:25,290
the minute by minute or session to session.

593
00:21:26,310 --> 00:21:28,390
This is why you have 5-week consults.

594
00:21:28,550 --> 00:21:30,020
If you met with a parent every week,

595
00:21:30,069 --> 00:21:31,910
you would have nothing meaningful to tell them.

596
00:21:32,829 --> 00:21:34,719
But over the course of 5 weeks,

597
00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:38,290
you absolutely can have meaningful dialogue about what's happening.

598
00:21:38,449 --> 00:21:38,800
Why?

599
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,479
Because you're tracking the arc.

600
00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:42,079
You're not looking at,

601
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:43,079
oh,

602
00:21:43,329 --> 00:21:45,880
in this last 10 minutes something happened.

603
00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:47,969
Sometimes in the last 10 minutes something happened,

604
00:21:48,369 --> 00:21:48,719
but

605
00:21:48,969 --> 00:21:49,729
more often.

606
00:21:50,819 --> 00:21:51,849
You have a sense of,

607
00:21:51,859 --> 00:21:52,380
oh my gosh,

608
00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:53,979
in these last 5 weeks.

609
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:55,250
Look at that.

610
00:21:55,739 --> 00:21:56,020
Oh,

611
00:21:56,260 --> 00:21:56,540
that,

612
00:21:56,579 --> 00:21:56,859
OK,

613
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:57,689
that was a change.

614
00:21:57,819 --> 00:21:57,939
Oh,

615
00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:58,260
OK,

616
00:21:58,349 --> 00:21:59,329
that was significant.

617
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:00,219
Oh wow,

618
00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:01,329
that's a shift.

619
00:22:02,219 --> 00:22:03,609
So look at the arc,

620
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:04,660
not the day to day.

621
00:22:05,790 --> 00:22:06,489
And then

622
00:22:06,619 --> 00:22:07,119
finally,

623
00:22:07,219 --> 00:22:09,219
if you are questioning whether it's working.

624
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:11,780
Reflect on

625
00:22:12,189 --> 00:22:13,079
these questions.

626
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:16,099
Where am I tempted to direct?

627
00:22:16,979 --> 00:22:19,170
It'll give you a lot of insight into

628
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:19,890
your need.

629
00:22:21,430 --> 00:22:22,449
Is it to fix?

630
00:22:22,619 --> 00:22:23,650
Is it to speed?

631
00:22:23,819 --> 00:22:24,930
Is it to control?

632
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:26,229
Is it to teach?

633
00:22:26,589 --> 00:22:27,810
Is it to

634
00:22:28,339 --> 00:22:29,130
regulate?

635
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:30,729
Is it to

636
00:22:31,459 --> 00:22:32,760
that you will figure out

637
00:22:33,099 --> 00:22:33,449
what,

638
00:22:33,609 --> 00:22:34,489
what is driving it?

639
00:22:34,699 --> 00:22:36,329
Where am I tempted to direct?

640
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:37,089
Start there.

641
00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:39,930
And then

642
00:22:40,140 --> 00:22:41,130
take that further.

643
00:22:41,989 --> 00:22:43,219
What does that say

644
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,770
about my comfort?

645
00:22:46,010 --> 00:22:48,439
What does that say about my comfort in waiting?

646
00:22:49,219 --> 00:22:52,040
What does that say about my comfort with messiness?

647
00:22:52,410 --> 00:22:54,939
What does that say about my comfort with

648
00:22:55,569 --> 00:22:56,000
not

649
00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:57,359
needing to fix things?

650
00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:03,349
Where am I tempted to direct and then what does it say about my comfort?

651
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,180
That's

652
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:06,369
self awareness,

653
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,750
self analysis.

654
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,209
Those are important.

655
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:10,890
And then

656
00:23:11,329 --> 00:23:12,569
am I trusting the child.

657
00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:16,619
If you're questioning the process,

658
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,189
you need to ask yourself,

659
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,540
am I trusting the child?

660
00:23:20,329 --> 00:23:23,920
Or am I trying to quote help fix.

661
00:23:25,709 --> 00:23:26,579
Hurry,

662
00:23:27,109 --> 00:23:27,900
work,

663
00:23:28,109 --> 00:23:28,829
amend,

664
00:23:29,150 --> 00:23:29,579
teach,

665
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:30,469
instruct.

666
00:23:31,099 --> 00:23:31,489
Whatever,

667
00:23:31,609 --> 00:23:31,859
what,

668
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:33,079
what am I trying to do?

669
00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:34,349
Is it,

670
00:23:34,390 --> 00:23:35,040
is it

671
00:23:35,270 --> 00:23:36,459
to center myself?

672
00:23:37,729 --> 00:23:40,270
Am I trying to do this in a way that centers me?

673
00:23:41,859 --> 00:23:43,239
It's no longer child-centered.

674
00:23:44,209 --> 00:23:45,439
That's therapist centered.

675
00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:47,390
And that's not a model,

676
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,839
so we can't do that.

677
00:23:50,130 --> 00:23:50,449
We can't,

678
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,680
we can't be TCPTs.

679
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:53,010
That's,

680
00:23:53,089 --> 00:23:53,900
that's not a thing.

681
00:23:54,489 --> 00:23:55,449
We're child-centered.

682
00:23:56,910 --> 00:23:58,020
So,

683
00:23:58,250 --> 00:23:59,180
let's kind of

684
00:23:59,489 --> 00:24:00,369
recap all that.

685
00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:01,890
I know this has been a little bit of a long one,

686
00:24:02,010 --> 00:24:02,599
but this is,

687
00:24:02,729 --> 00:24:03,489
this is important.

688
00:24:04,790 --> 00:24:06,270
Non-directivity works.

689
00:24:07,140 --> 00:24:07,979
We know it does.

690
00:24:09,569 --> 00:24:11,050
Not because it's passive.

691
00:24:12,199 --> 00:24:15,109
Not because the child gets to do whatever they want,

692
00:24:15,469 --> 00:24:17,920
not because we do nothing.

693
00:24:19,069 --> 00:24:21,180
Because it's deeply responsive

694
00:24:21,709 --> 00:24:23,150
to how kids grow.

695
00:24:24,089 --> 00:24:25,250
And how kids

696
00:24:25,469 --> 00:24:26,400
work through

697
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:27,479
stuff in their lives.

698
00:24:29,369 --> 00:24:30,150
It works.

699
00:24:31,839 --> 00:24:33,839
And doing nothing is doing something.

700
00:24:35,969 --> 00:24:36,599
Print that,

701
00:24:36,689 --> 00:24:37,699
frame that.

702
00:24:37,979 --> 00:24:39,560
Put it up over your desk.

703
00:24:39,829 --> 00:24:40,920
Put it on your bathroom mirror.

704
00:24:41,010 --> 00:24:42,760
Put it on your dashboard in your car.

705
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,989
Doing nothing is doing something.

706
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:47,770
That's what we're all about.

707
00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:51,660
We are making space for the child to do it themselves.

708
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:53,920
All right.

709
00:24:54,199 --> 00:24:55,329
So in the next episode,

710
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,430
we're going to look at how we can maintain

711
00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:01,319
CCPT in hard moments.

712
00:25:02,260 --> 00:25:03,630
Maybe especially with

713
00:25:03,939 --> 00:25:08,329
intense behaviors and intense emotions and big stuff happening in the playroom.

714
00:25:08,819 --> 00:25:10,069
How do we maintain

715
00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:14,380
child-centeredness and non-directivity in those scenarios?

716
00:25:15,239 --> 00:25:17,109
So I hope that this was an encouragement to y'all.

717
00:25:17,270 --> 00:25:19,630
I hope that this series has been an encouragement.

718
00:25:19,670 --> 00:25:21,949
I know many of you have emailed me and let me know

719
00:25:21,949 --> 00:25:24,390
that these episodes have been really meaningful and helpful to you.

720
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:24,859
So

721
00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:26,219
you're why I do this.

722
00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:27,359
I can't do this without you.

723
00:25:27,390 --> 00:25:28,839
I wouldn't do this without you.

724
00:25:29,589 --> 00:25:30,869
Thank you for your commitment,

725
00:25:30,910 --> 00:25:31,510
your investment.

726
00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:33,869
Thank you for recommending this podcast to people.

727
00:25:34,069 --> 00:25:36,380
Thank you for recommending the parenting podcast to people.

728
00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:38,020
I really can't tell you enough.

729
00:25:38,109 --> 00:25:38,589
I

730
00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:42,670
I really do believe and feel like in the depth of my being,

731
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,589
I feel that this is our

732
00:25:44,790 --> 00:25:45,459
podcast,

733
00:25:45,550 --> 00:25:47,589
that this is never Brenna's show,

734
00:25:47,670 --> 00:25:48,969
this is our show.

735
00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:52,949
And so the more that this makes it to other people's ears.

736
00:25:53,609 --> 00:25:55,260
The the better the world is for it.

737
00:25:55,420 --> 00:25:56,060
So really,

738
00:25:56,099 --> 00:25:57,099
truly thank y'all.

739
00:25:57,219 --> 00:25:57,979
I love y'all so much.

740
00:25:58,099 --> 00:25:58,930
We'll talk again soon.

741
00:25:59,140 --> 00:25:59,339
Bye.

742
00:26:00,410 --> 00:26:03,270
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

743
00:26:03,430 --> 00:26:04,349
Brenna Hicks.

744
00:26:04,510 --> 00:26:06,469
For more episodes and resources,

745
00:26:06,589 --> 00:26:11,349
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.