Saying the Hard Part | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so much for coming back and joining Kathy and I today.

00:00:14
Speaker 2: We're really excited to be here.

00:00:15
Speaker 3: We are always excited to get together and share our thoughts with you guys, and our and our lives and everything else. So always always some advice and also tell stories about ourselves that we know no one's listening to, right just you and me. But today we're going to answer more of your fan questions. And we've said it a million times, but we really mean it. We love to answer your questions, we love reading them. All you have to do is submit them. That's the key. You have to submit them for us to read them. So go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away all your questions, your comments, your thoughts.

00:00:57
Speaker 1: Come on, do it, I mean the updates, everything, all of you. All you have to do you can also do just bem on Instagram about sort Happy Hour.

00:01:07
Speaker 3: Simple, It's so easy, right, Okay, all right, we are going to get into the episode right now, and as always, we are going to start with the thought of the day. No really, the question, all right, what did you Oh Susan, I want you to answer this question.

00:01:24
Speaker 2: Okay, ask you what did.

00:01:26
Speaker 3: You learn about yourself from your last relationship or fling?

00:01:32
Speaker 1: What did I learn about myself? Don't be so hasty, and whenever you see a red flag is a red flag, even if you want to make it not sop.

00:01:46
Speaker 3: And I'm going to say, Susan, I'm going to give you some credit here. I've you know, Susan and I are quite good friends, and I know about her dating life. You have done a good job. I'm gonna get I'm clapping for you. Good job, a good job inside joke, folks, you have done a good job of Yes, she's laughing hard here. You have done a good job of really figuring out when it's time to say goodbye.

00:02:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, it takes me long still, but you're doing better.

00:02:16
Speaker 1: It comes quicker now, Thank you, Kathy.

00:02:21
Speaker 3: And how does my hair look today, Susan, I'm not even nice?

00:02:23
Speaker 2: Excellent?

00:02:24
Speaker 3: Can I just tell everybody I know the question of the day is what did you live for your last relationship? It has been so long since I've had a relationship, I can't remember. So that's so now I'm going to talk about my hair because that I remember, Susane.

00:02:37
Speaker 1: It's like what you learned about yourself even in your last relationship, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I always got married at twelve and was married for one hundred and five years and he passed unfortunately, and.

00:02:50
Speaker 3: It is unfortunate really, but let me just say I what I know about myself is and you know, no tears, but sometimes I do cry thinking about this. I am enough. I don't always feel like I'm enough. See I am gonna start to cry, but I am enough. And I'm just waiting for the guy to come along who sees that I'm enough and is excited to have me in his life, and me be excited to have him in my life. But until that happens, I'm going to talk about my hair. So here's my question about my hair. Susanka, you did a bad thing by breaking your wrist because you can't cut my hair. My hair is getting too long. I need my haircut. Can you speed up the healing of your wrist please?

00:03:41
Speaker 1: Well, we have to see each other, so no, I can definitely do it.

00:03:46
Speaker 3: Oh in a couple of weeks. Yeah, can I just say no? They don't understand Susan's hair is really short.

00:03:54
Speaker 2: And to me I need a haircut desperately.

00:03:56
Speaker 1: And all you people out there, everybody one that does not have this short of hair, they do not understand. Within four weeks this stuff has grown out. It's hard to style. But you guys always say, oh my god, it's so short.

00:04:11
Speaker 2: It looks great. It looks great.

00:04:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, and let me just say I'm crying for you. First of all, I need to put twenty products in my hair to help with the frizz, the curlies, the all of it. Susan says, hold on, I'll be ready in five minutes, because she gets the minute hair. Two minutes. Oh, come on, thirty seconds. We'll talk on the phone and she'll say, hold on, I just got to dry. I'm not this is the truth. Hold On, Kady, I just got to dry my hair and literally thirty Okay, my hair's t ry, and I'm like, oh dear God, I have to dry my hair with a round brush. I have to put products in it. Then I have to use a straightener, and I still don't get it right.

00:04:47
Speaker 1: Okay, but there's a b Yeah, what the bud is? Kathy can go four days with that hairdo. Susan sometimes twice a day has to wash hair and blow it dry.

00:05:00
Speaker 3: Okay, Susan, enough about my hair and hair talk and all things hair. We're moving on to our fan questions.

00:05:07
Speaker 2: But I do promise I will do it.

00:05:09
Speaker 3: Oh, you'll do me hair? All right? Perfect? That's all I need to get, all right, I'm gonna read the first one here we got. Question one is from anonymous. Hi, ladies, I really need your help. How do I get my family to stop comparing my sister and me? We're five years apart, in completely different fields, and are both living our lives. We are two completely different people, and yet we're still constantly compared by our whole family. They've put us into categories our whole lives, the pretty one, the smart one, et cetera. It's gotten to the point where my sister and I don't talk. She harbors a lot of resentment towards me and always has What do you suggest I do? Susan weigh in on this, because we.

00:05:51
Speaker 1: Both guessing she's the pretty one. Because you know, when I see like a set of twins and one has so much views and the other one's kind of do I always my heart bleeds.

00:06:03
Speaker 2: For that twin. But these aren't even twins. They're five years apart.

00:06:08
Speaker 3: Well, I can say to you, I have a sister who I'm very close with, and her name is Susan. Just like you. I love women who have the name Susan. She is eleven months Yeah, welcome friend. She is eleven months older than I am. Where Irish twins, I think it is what they call We almost shared a womb. There's all these things and I'm just stay with me. Don't tell me I'm wrong. My sister was a absolute showstopper, gorgeous, blonde hair, blue eye, bikini clad, gorgeous girl. And I was a chubby, fat brunette. Well, my sister was smart too, but that's where I succeeded. I I wasn't pretty, and I wasn't petite, and I didn't have a good figure. So what did I do. I made myself smart. I made straight a's in school. That's what I did. But my sister and I are very close. I come from a family of seven and she's my you know, we talk almost every day. So I don't understand. That's where I was going. You have sisters, and you talk with your sisters, and I've met your sisters. You don't look anything like them.

00:07:22
Speaker 1: No, you know what, My sisters would complain, not about my parents, but about the teachers at school when they would get into the grade that I already had that teacher, that another chatty bacola.

00:07:34
Speaker 2: And they're like, mom, mom, because there weren't like me.

00:07:38
Speaker 3: Well, and that's so funny you say that, because I was except for my half brother, I was the last one of all the girls and I when I got there, they said, no, this was cruel. They'd say to me, you're a block. My mid name is Block. You're a block girl because they were blonde and petite. And then I'm telling you, it's one of those things that happens in your life that's hard to get over. I don't know why, Anonymous, you're not speaking to her. I think families do that. I think they just put people in categories. We all do it, you know, I do it with my three kids.

00:08:21
Speaker 2: It's not you know, Kathy, what you're saying right now. It sounds like the parent issue.

00:08:27
Speaker 1: And why have neither one of them gone to the parent and said, mom, you're closing friction? And why on earth are they not speaking?

00:08:35
Speaker 3: That's my question? Why are why whatever the parents say why aren't the kids the two sisters clothes. I don't get it. I don't know. I don't have an answer for that. I think and I.

00:08:46
Speaker 1: Feel for you, baby, I really do. And I would go to my sister probably first. And we're agreeing again, aren't we.

00:08:52
Speaker 2: Capitul Right now?

00:08:55
Speaker 3: We're agreeing again.

00:08:57
Speaker 4: Talk to your Yes, go talk to your sister, your blooded, your sister. You got to make make it well and share how you felt over the years, whether you were the smart one or the pretty one, whatever the case may be.

00:09:11
Speaker 2: But go share and say you want this to be.

00:09:16
Speaker 3: I was about to say, I agree with you, Susan. I was about to ask maybe maybe Anonymous doesn't want to be close to her sister, but I think she does.

00:09:26
Speaker 2: I hope she does, and we're thinking about you. Thanks for sharing.

00:09:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, let us know and you know what family is really important.

00:09:33
Speaker 2: So we don't do what you have to do to make it work. Yeah, and thank you for sharing with not just what you need.

00:09:40
Speaker 3: To make it work, build a relationship with your sister, because you know what your family is. Always. I tell my kids this all the time. Your family will be there for you, ups and downs, no matter what. Not in this case so far, but well you want to make it exactly. Good luck Anonymous.

00:09:56
Speaker 1: Absolutely we have another Anonymous today, Kathy. Hi Kathy and Susan. I love your podcast and tune in every week. Well thanks, you always give thoughtful advice and feedback. I have a few questions and hopefully they make sense together. But my first question is do you know anyone who decided not to have kids for whatever reason and regretted it later in life? First question, second question, For a little background, I'm thirty two. I've been married for about five years. I've never really had a strong desire to be a mom and have kids, but something happened when I turn thirty. I feel like there's so much societal pressure to have kids, and it's almost frowned upon to be married and not have any. My mom also passed away about a year ago, a year and a half ago with breast cancer, and we were so close. Part of me feels like it's almost my grief that is wanting to fill a missing void in my life. Not having my mom around is really hard because she would always put my mind at ease about these things. If I have a child to fill a void left by my mom, is that a bad reason? It feels like an impossible decision. Grateful for any advice, and I am like both of you when it comes to packing my suitcase. I try everything on and packed too much. Thanks again, love you both. Hope to see you on the beach.

00:11:42
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we did that a lot.

00:11:46
Speaker 3: I don't even have an answer for this question.

00:11:49
Speaker 1: I mean, I do know people that decided not to have children, so do I, and they're perfectly content. Nobody has ever really regretted it. Maybe as they got they've spoken. You know, if I had kids, maybe I have some help or you know, But that's the.

00:12:07
Speaker 2: Choice that only you.

00:12:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think there's anything wrong with it with not having children.

00:12:14
Speaker 2: No, that's something that they're not for you. Then it's not.

00:12:18
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing, you know this this is a tough question because there's like a lot of pieces in it. But anonymous, she says, if you if you are having if you are only having a child to fill the void left by the death of your mom. There, I you know. I'm not God, I'm not a therapist, I'm nobody. Is it a bad reason to have kids? I can't tell if it's a good or bad reason. I have kids. All I can say to you as a mom of three, and Susan is also a mom of three that children take a lot of care, love, nurturing, time, energy, and responsibility. So if you're not up for that.

00:13:03
Speaker 5: And it won't replace tim exactly exactly, So, don't have a child to replace the void because guess what, it won't.

00:13:13
Speaker 1: Do you agree with that, Susan, happy in your life the way it is, You don't the peer pressure because of all your friends and the social everybody's having kids around this time. It's okay, do you do what makes you happy?

00:13:28
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:13:29
Speaker 1: And I know that's thirty mark kath because I used to say, if I don't have a child by thirty, oh.

00:13:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I have known women who have changed their mind, not at thirty butes, and they've had a child and they've been glad they did, but they had made the decision that they wanted a child. They didn't make the decision of a child because they wanted to fill a void left by a mother, a sister, whatever.

00:13:58
Speaker 2: So as as well as how does your husband feel that?

00:14:03
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:14:04
Speaker 2: Right? I mean what do you two want together?

00:14:07
Speaker 3: Yeah? And I think that Susan, that is a brilliant That is absolutely uh you really, Anonymous. That's a conversation for you to have with your partner, your spouse, whoever, because.

00:14:18
Speaker 2: When it comes to packing, you could call us definitely.

00:14:21
Speaker 3: When it comes to packing, call Susan. No, actually, I'm a great packer, you're a great picker outer. Anyway, forget things stop. I'm just we're going to have hair talk again. If you don't stop, let us know. And it's a tough decision, Anonymous, let us know. We really hope that you make the decision that's right for you and your partner. That's the bottom line.

00:14:47
Speaker 2: Let us know the beach.

00:14:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, we are going to play a fabulous game today, Susan. We've done it before. We call it icky're picky, but you and I added the third term E, who is like, get rid of it as fast as you can, ikey, picky or ew. We're just gonna read. We're going to switch off. We're gonna read hypotheticals and you and I are going to say whether we think it's icky or just being picky. And I'm going to get us go in here with the first one. Okay, Okay, they tell you they've never read a book in their life and are proud of it.

00:15:22
Speaker 2: It say they were lying because you have to read them in school.

00:15:27
Speaker 3: So you know I love to read. What I say, Oh, I'm going to go further than that. E wait, can I just tell you I wonder?

00:15:37
Speaker 2: Why?

00:15:37
Speaker 3: Wait? I just have to tell you a little short story here. This is the fun of this podcast. We get to throw in our So. I was talking with one of the guys on Jones season who is a very nice guy. And I read a lot of books on my kindle. And when you read on your kindle, at least when I read on my kindle, I don't always remember the name of the book. I get so involve you. Okay, So this guy, who's a super nice guy and reads a lot himself, said to me, Kathy, what's on your nightstand? Meaning what book you read? I literally couldn't remember. And I said I read. And I said I can go get I said exactly, I said, I can go get my kendle. He goes, never mind, It's okay. But I thought he must think I don't read. You know, I'm a veracious reader. I love to read. But it was just so embarrassing. What's the.

00:16:33
Speaker 1: Oh, thank god, I've done the book and I can tell you what it's about.

00:16:36
Speaker 2: Still don't remember.

00:16:38
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not going to say the guy's name, but if you're listening to this podcast, know that I do love to read and I was really embarrassed.

00:16:45
Speaker 2: This is a good one. They correct your grammar and casual conversation.

00:16:50
Speaker 3: Hello, Kathy?

00:16:51
Speaker 2: Is that Kathy?

00:16:57
Speaker 3: That is? Can I just tell you I am in me? Listen? Can I tell you how bad I am? Bachslor nation people? When we get questions and I'm reading them, I will correct it. If it says I, I will correct it. And just I was an English teacher. It's grammar. I'm sorry, and I just.

00:17:16
Speaker 2: Always was told no, you say I, not me, and Dathy's like, no, it's me.

00:17:21
Speaker 3: Because it's it gets into compound sub subjects and object of the preposition and object.

00:17:27
Speaker 2: Of the sister. She's the brain and you're very good at it. And I come to you for advice when I'm writing.

00:17:36
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be icky or picky, and that's probably an OO for a lot of people, So I apologize. All right, here's the next one. Yeah, could you they talking? A baby? Boy? Is that, and they do it a lot. Is that icky? Picky? It's so icky.

00:18:03
Speaker 1: They still call their mom mommy or their dad daddy as an adult whatever, kiky, I mean.

00:18:11
Speaker 3: That's picky. It's not Yeah, that's picky, all right. They get Oh lord, I got more stories. They get road rage and scream at other drivers ikey. Can I tell you? My husband did this all the time. Oh my god. And I used to say, Darryl, please get shot. I know. I used to say stop. They can't hear you. Only I can hear you, and it's driving me up. They don't hear you screaming. I do. And he would constantly do it. So one time we were driving on the Interstate, going you know, cross country, and he was railing about somebody driving and he was screaming at them, and I had warned him. I said, if you don't stop, I'm going to turn the car off.

00:19:02
Speaker 2: What why you drive me?

00:19:04
Speaker 3: I did, Kathy, What is with you?

00:19:07
Speaker 2: Because right there.

00:19:10
Speaker 3: I just I couldn't stand the screaming. And so I was in the car with my daughter the other day. I'll be damned, I said, oh my god, you're just like your father, because she was she goes these people are She started rolling. I said, oh, dear god, your dad is watching down from heaven. Stop doing it. And she looked at me and she goes, I just can't take bad drivers. I said, you know, the car off like she.

00:19:31
Speaker 2: Was screaming at the people. She just voicing.

00:19:34
Speaker 3: Oh no, she's screaming. Oh, Susan, let me demo for you. What's the hell's wrong with you? Put your blinker on if you're gonna take are Do you think they're hearing that? You know?

00:19:42
Speaker 2: When you drive with me? Why are you in this lane? Why are you in this lane?

00:19:46
Speaker 3: This is the fast lane? Yeah that Susan. Yes, But Susan, do you think the person in that lane hears you? Who's hearing you? Do you think I like hearing them? What you say?

00:19:58
Speaker 2: My passenger?

00:20:00
Speaker 3: Thank you? Passenger wants a pass on the screaming note to Susan. All right, go on, all right.

00:20:07
Speaker 1: They post inspirational quotes on their Instagram every single day.

00:20:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's I think that's picky. I think that's swinging wrong. Okay. They refer to them. They refer to themselves as an alpha male.

00:20:27
Speaker 2: Like I say, I'm a type personality.

00:20:30
Speaker 3: No alpha male means not only am I a male, not only am I superior to you, but I'm an alpha male. It's redundant. Yeah, please, I think it's picky. I do it's picky.

00:20:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay.

00:20:46
Speaker 1: They walk really really slowly in public and don't.

00:20:51
Speaker 2: Notice your head.

00:20:53
Speaker 3: Hell, I don't care. As long as I'm getting my steps in, I don't care. That's picky, all right. They drink milk with dinner as an adult. The hell's wrong with that?

00:21:04
Speaker 2: What is wrong? Picky?

00:21:05
Speaker 3: Picky? Susan, Susan. We are agreen on all of these just.

00:21:10
Speaker 1: About that kind of a day, I'm telling you. They FaceTime people in public without those.

00:21:17
Speaker 3: That well, that's not icky, that's irritating. That's you. That's what you say. It's yeah.

00:21:25
Speaker 2: We're in the nail salon.

00:21:28
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm sitting there and I got to hear this girl's conversation and they're allowed.

00:21:32
Speaker 2: I can't even think. This is my zen time. Will you be quiet? I'm getting.

00:21:41
Speaker 3: This is Susan's world, having a manicure and pedicure. Okay, they still this. I'm just gonna say, there's icky, picky oo, and get the hell out of my life. This would be this one they still follow and like all of their exes posts bye bye, so long farewell. I mean no way? Uh uh? I mean seriously, is that it keeps.

00:22:11
Speaker 2: Like my ex doesn't post? Really?

00:22:13
Speaker 1: But if you put something out there, my kids are and of course I like it. But no, no, that's just weird. Move on, get a life, go buy a life.

00:22:24
Speaker 3: Okay. They clap when the plane lands.

00:22:29
Speaker 2: There are people that are really scared.

00:22:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I got to tell you. I fly with my granddaughters and we all clap when the plane lands because I think it's what we do.

00:22:37
Speaker 2: Our cruise in June. Yeah, we're going to Greece.

00:22:42
Speaker 1: I'm getting clap from that baby hits the ground because we have to be on there so damn long.

00:22:46
Speaker 3: Wait, can I just say I'm flying from Texas. It's frigging fourteen hours. That's why God made first class four eighteen hours?

00:22:54
Speaker 2: All right.

00:22:55
Speaker 1: They won't kiss you if you have lip bomb on because they don't like the texture.

00:23:03
Speaker 2: That's who kisses on the lips like that? Friends, I mean, I do, not one on each side.

00:23:09
Speaker 3: Well wait a minute, you've been in you've been in the French West Indies. Two long, girlfriend, if you're dating a guy and he says he won't kiss you because he doesn't like to text you. That's you and Ikey.

00:23:21
Speaker 2: I agree.

00:23:22
Speaker 3: I mean, just get over yourself really, all right? They refer to your relationship as hanging out even after months of dating. Ew, that's here's the door, what you know, don't hit your ass on the way out.

00:23:37
Speaker 1: I mean seriously about marriage on the second date, Well, depends how you feel about him.

00:23:45
Speaker 2: That's the picky.

00:23:47
Speaker 3: I mean, I think of yours into him as he is into you. Then you might think it's picky, But in general, I would say that's Ikey for the most part. In general, I would say.

00:23:58
Speaker 2: That's Ikey on the second date.

00:24:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's in general. I'm not saying but they were.

00:24:03
Speaker 2: Not talking about you two get married. They're just talking about being.

00:24:06
Speaker 3: What they're talking about their marriage to their first wife.

00:24:09
Speaker 2: That's it broad and big.

00:24:14
Speaker 3: Let me just say, Kamy, if you.

00:24:16
Speaker 1: Find a man and you really like him, and it's the second date and he says, would you ever get married again?

00:24:21
Speaker 2: Would you would you like to.

00:24:22
Speaker 3: Get it could be like okay, that would be okay. But I thought I took this to mean, yeah, it's just you know, Kathy will you marry me?

00:24:34
Speaker 2: Could you sign this first piece?

00:24:36
Speaker 3: Could you sign this? Could you sign the pre pape?

00:24:40
Speaker 2: The papers?

00:24:41
Speaker 3: I don't know we have covered? Wait, do you have any I need one more good story for you before we wrap. Come on, give me something that's going on in your life. Some good finales?

00:24:49
Speaker 2: Cruise in my arm anymore? Kathy? Can you see the bruising that goes all the way up my arm?

00:24:57
Speaker 3: I mean again again, Bachelor. I'm going to remind Susan because I am her good friend. When you follow the doctors' it's ew because you're not following the doctor's orders. All right, till we get to grease, till this wrist heels, If this wrist will ever heal, that is going to be it for today. We want to thank our list how it always does.

00:25:23
Speaker 2: I think maybe we need two hours. We have a lot to say.

00:25:29
Speaker 3: The listeners are either going to go icky, picky or ooh, are one, But thank you to our listeners for joining us. Without you, we would not have a podcast. So we hope you've enjoyed today as much as we have.

00:25:41
Speaker 1: Absolutely make sure to follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour. As you know, we have new ones coming out every week and if you miss them, you're gonna have to go back and time and.

00:25:50
Speaker 3: Find them on Can I just say, not only do you have to go to Bachelor Happy Hour, but if you click the follow button then you're notified when there's a new episode. I mean, how easy is that? So whether you're you know, on a walk, you can listen to us taking a drive in the country, weeding your garden. No excuse not to be listening to this.

00:26:13
Speaker 2: Put it on lub speaker at that's.

00:26:16
Speaker 3: Right, that's right. But please, guys, make sure you submit your questions to us, your comments, your updates. We love hearing it. It's so easy to do. Go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:26:33
Speaker 1: And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast.

00:26:39
Speaker 3: This was fun, It was super fun. Until next week.

00:26:42
Speaker 2: Bye.