Zach on His Journey So Far

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Speaker 1: Welcome back, happy our listeners. I'm one of your hosts, Beccy Kofern and I'm Michelle Young, and we are back this week to catch up with everything that happened in Budapest, but also we finally have the Bachelor himself on, so very soon we will finally get the chance to talk with Zach. Yes, we're excited to speak with him. There's so much that has happened just this season in general to get his thoughts on his journey and get to chat with him. But first before we bring him on, I have so many thoughts about this episode, Becca, and I need to know your thoughts on something very specific. So okay, So in this date, this date was really intense and it was really emotional, and I will say that it actually kind of felt very unique aside from other like just typical Bachelor dates or episodes. The mind reading date. Okay, so they bring this mentalist in and one, how are your thoughts just in general about like a psychic or a mentalist, Like are you into that stuff? Are you open to it? Are you like yes anything that they say, I that's absolutely it? Are you like take it with a gr an assault? I know I'm so into it, Like I have personally spoken with mediums in the past, so I feel like this would have been actually a really fun date to be on. The only part that I probably would not have liked per se is being having to be in a group setting, Like this is a date that I would have maybe wanted for just myself and the lead, not with all these other women around. And it seems like it got very emotional for the women just based upon the questions he was asking. And I'm going to be completely honest because like you know, I've chatted with mediums in the past, and some I'm like, okay, like your respond on with some of this stuff that you know that no one else would have known. And then some I'm like, mmm, like are you real here it's just like spewing up? Yeah, Like is it just more vague like stuffing you spew up to everyone? And I kind of put into this date with that mindset, like, of course this is set up from the show and this like he's going to know inside information from these women before going on, but like based upon all of their reactions, and I am intrigued to pure Zach's point of view. Two because obviously he was there, but I feel like this guy was actually legit. I okay, so that's so interesting that you bring that up. Is because I I've seen a psychic before, and you kind of can like take different things in. But like my similar to you, My reading was very like specific and so it was like, Okay, this can actually this could actually be legit. But as I was watching this episod, I wasn't necessarily sitting there and questioning if he was legit or not. What I almost had an issue with though, is the way that he set the tone of the date, because it came off really aggressive, and it came for me anyways, and it came off because like several times this penseless was like if you're lying, I'm gonna know. If you're lying, I'm gonna know, And it came off in a very like tauntings an aggressive word, but like a pushy way when like these women like like like they were in like an FBI investigation. Yes, yes, I'm glad that you brought that up. And I guess I was looking at it. I wasn't even looking at it from that mindset, but that makes total sense. And I think if I would like if I was on this group date, I would have failed miserably. First of all, because like I always put myself in this mindset of like, okay, if I had to do like a lie detector quiz, Like I'm a very honest person, but like when somebody's like I know if you're lying. I know if you're lying, I would freaking panic and like my heart would just race. I'd probably fail it no matter what if I was honest or not. Like, so, why is that my biggest fear too? Yeah, I've also listened a way too many true crime podcasts where they're like, never do a polygraph, So that's where my said is. But also, like, like you just said, I'm the type of person who wants to explain things and like this is the why even if like you don't like my answer and I'm being honest and it's blunt and it might hurt to hear, I want to give the reasoning to try to validate that. And I guess, yeah, for the women to not be able to do that, and we saw I think, I mean for the most part, at least three of them really sat in that weird limbo feeling of oh my god, he probably misinterpreted what I was saying, and now he is probably like thinking, I'm not ready for this or you know, I'm not like on the same page as him, So yeah, I could see why they would struggle. I'm super interested to talk to Zach about this with everything and pick his brain just about what his thoughts were on that date as well as everything that just happened this week. Yeah, both of his one on one sending some women home before the big hometown week. I will say, like, I'm I'm intrigued to have Zach on this week because like for me, and I don't know if, like Michelle, you've maybe felt this or not, but like I feel like we've gotten to know more of these women and like I quite like the cast. I love the support that they have for one another. I feel like, especially on everyone on one date that he's had with them, like we've learned a lot about them, so I feel like I know them better. But Zach to me like I still don't quite know, Like I feel like with the way he answers and like what we're seeing, I'm like, I don't really know who Zach is, Like I haven't seen much of you and your personality in your side of things, and so that's why it'll be nice to have him on today, to try to get to know a deeper side to him and just to dig a little bit more. And so I hope that he's willing. I mean, I know, like we've never really had a boucher on halfway through. I feel like, so this will be interesting. I mean, obviously he's probably so exhausted with having still half a season to go and to do all of that. But yeah, so well, I guess with all of that, we should just bring him on because we do have so many questions for him. Let's do it. Hello, Hello, Welcome Zach. How are you doing? I saw the hello Hello. There's a big thing in my world. Hello, dougle Hello. Oh. I've been getting roasted for it all season? Is that how you wait? Is that how you meet all the girls every week? Is hello Hello? It started on night one, just being overwhelmed walking into the room with everyone and it was all right, hello, hello, ladies. And then they started tallying how many times I would say that same phrase hello hello, so much that it was like turning into a game with everyone. I have not even picked up on that. I haven't either, but I will say, Becka and I have actually spoken about this before, just on night when you get those nerves in general, and there's like everybody has coin phrases and so yours. I didn't know that yours was hello, Hello. Actually didn't peep that out at all. I don't remember. I kept saying I love it, I love it, I love it. I remember Matt James His was thanks for sharing Beca. What was yours? I don't even know. I would always say. I would always say, like if I'm being honest, and then like lead into something, Yeah, I get stuck in it. We know this. Actually, this was a great tea it for this question that I didn't even remember. I was going to ask you, Zach, okay you do this, and I did this as well, and like halfway through my season the producers were like, um, can you stop saying this? So I want to know if they said this to you too, but um. And it's like usually in like the row ceremonies, like you know how you have to walk in, say next to the podium and like give a little spiel of like you know, I appreciate all of your time and like I'm really finding like love it whatever it might be, but we always like give our spiel and that little speech and then we always say so with that being said, and then we would like a crab the rows and you say it too, And I'm like, dude, he I used to say that all the time, and they told me to stop. Did has anyone told you, like halfway through your season, like you don't need to say with all that being said? You know there were there were probably several phrases they told me to stop saying. With that one, I feel like it's it's the one that makes sense to transition to what I was saying. It works. I think I might have said it every single time so far. But I mean I think one thing that I had a bad habit on it, and I didn't really notice till watching the show was the amount of times I say like and I was not so. I thought I had a better grasp in terms of like filler words, but when you're on a date and you're nervous and maybe some alcohol involved, I'm looking back, I'm like, I see I just said like again, happens all the time, and all do it. I'm gonna it's notorious about tination. I just started with I'm going to be honest, I just hit your beggest phrase, okay, but you have made it. I've become more conscious of how often I use the word like from watching you. But here's the thing is everybody does it. It's not you. Like you can track back to even like I decided again, you can track back to Colton season, and it's like like like like, it's a thing that happens every single season, and I think what it attributes to soon. I'm trying to pause and not say it. But you're having these conversations and you want to be thoughtful about your words, and people tend to say like instead of just pausing, but I'll say this is that what you're saying is it comes out it's very genuine. So regardless of you throwing like that in there, however often it is, don't let that sweat. Okay. So we are literally just at this halfway mark and you're watching all of this back for the first time as you kind of spoke about and are picking up just different things that you have said, or even perceptions or getting just a different perspective on how things has happened. Have you, how has that been for you? Have you enjoyed watching everything back. Has it been really difficult for you? Uh, It's it's pretty difficult. Um. You know, you have this one way of you, you know, thinking of how things went, and you have your own perception or you know, the reality reality you lived in. Um, you know for those several months, and then you rewatch it and you don't necessarily fully understand the full picture to you rewatch it and you know, it's everything as little as like okay, yeah I say these words a lot, or my mannerisms, but on the bigger skill, it's like, Okay, that situation, I'm seeing it from another perspective, and I'm seeing what's going on with you know, the women that I typically wouldn't know, but think I have a good grasp on the situation. So it's been like tough to watch as a whole, but a good experience overall because it's like it's teaching myself more about myself and how I handle situations and could have handled situations better. But I'm someone in general that I mean, any thing I you know, do on the show or like if it's you know, an interview or something like that, I don't watch it back like I don't want to because I have that thing of like damn, my voice sounds like that, or how do I walk? Like like it's like the littlest you know things. But um, I'm not the biggest fan, but my family loves to watch it. So how is it with them? I mean, you know that your family is watching you kiss other people? Is that weird? Oh? Yeah, it's it's it's really weird. And I'm almost like, why are you watching it? And they don't enjoy that by any means, Like every time they see like a hot tub scene, they're like, all right, we're gonna just mute and do something. I'm like, thank you for everybody looks at their phones all of a sudden. You know, I don't watch with them either. That's smart, that's a good idea. What have been some of your biggest shocks or surprises watching it all back? Because, as you just said, like you you know, you were living in like what was reality for you, But then you see all of the interviews with the women back and you piece together each of the stories a little bit more so, what has been most surprising or shocking to you? Uh? One that comes to memory is what happened really in Estonia with with Cat pulling me out into the hallway before the charity went on one date, and I didn't know like what had followed and been like the reality for the girls for the past you know, week or so afterwards. Like I didn't know that it caused such you know, issues or conflict within the women so much so that it did. I thought it was, you know, just kind of something that had happened, and then it's like, all right, the next day, we're on a date and we're like and now we're traveling to the next location. And I didn't know how much stress that caused for everyone else in the fighting that had happened. Didn't learn that till I watched the episode. Really, I didn't know that that was like a conflict by any means, Okay, which is actually and we'll get into everything with Estonia soon. So I'm gonna when we get to that week, I want to ask you about that because I did have a question of like when you started piecing things together. But before that, I mean, we just have some fun, random questions, you know, getting to know you a little bit more for our listeners. And actually, and I will be completely transparent before you hopped on, I was like, listen, I feel like with the season, we're getting to know so much of these women, especially on the one on one day, it's they're really opening it up about their past, and I feel like we're seeing more sides to them. And with Zach, I'm not necessarily seen as much and getting to know him. And that's why we're happy to have you on here, because like, this is an hour of just you, like an interview to get to know you. So we have some fun, little silly questions for you. One I want to ask you is we've seen on social media, like you poking fun at yourself at seeing I just said, like you poking fun at yourself for being this quote unquote boring bachelor. Do you feel like the reception of you has changed since the show started airing? Oh good question. Generally, I think a little bit. Um. You know, when you start at the literal bottom um, usually there's only one way to go up and looking at it, I guess, so, I mean, I'm like, I'm realistic with it. I get it. Not a lot of people knew who I was from you know, uh, last season of The bachelorrette um, you know, going into this there still wasn't a lot to know about me, but you know there's like I have my take on it, and it's it's the fact of yeah, I've been you know, very forward on the no drama or the nobs, and I like to live my life that way. And if that's boring two viewers, that's fine because it's like, I don't want to change who I am to not be your quote unquote boring. Like I'm not going to try to fit them mold of what you know this you know, the large um fan base of Bachelor Nation like what they want to see, because it's my life at the end of the day, and I want to you know, take the lessons that I've learned or the way I was raised to you know, continue like my life and growing and I don't want to change being boring to fit that mold. But I think I think as a whole people have started to see it's it's not necessarily like a boring season by any means, but it's different. Yeah, that's what I really I really connect with what you said there of having this you seem to have a really good balance between or just understanding that doesn't mean just because you have an understanding that it's always easy and that everything just rolls off, and like the hate or does the comments roll off. But I definitely experience in just the similar whole concept of you understand, you're on a reality TV show, and the reality TV shows do really well when it's crazy and out of pocket and wild, and that's what makes exciting TV. And you have this opportunity that you were presented and you want to take it because you genuinely want to find your person. But you're not going to be this complete basket case or change who you are just to entertain other people. So I do really really respect that, And like Becka said, you have handled it. You know, we really seem to have been handling it well with how you speak about it. That doesn't mean that it doesn't like hurt at times. I'll acknowledge that, but but yeah, I do appreciate that, and I do appreciate the little banter back and forth that you've been, you know, just on social media of like sometimes just make you'll make fun of yourself, You'll do you know, whatever you like. Just make it lighthearted. It doesn't have to be the second intense, serious thing. Don't know yourself so seriously, which we've seen more of you on Instagram doing, which I mean like that's that's kind of what you got to do in this world, especially on social media, Like you can't please everyone. You just gotta do you and find like the happy moments in sometimes the not easiest moments. Have you been able to stay out of the comments and started me to attruct you so you can oh, yeah, you're good, No, yeah, with the comments. You know, it's very early on. It was really hard not to because it's it was still so new, and my family was you know, even getting you know a little shocked by it because my mom you know, being very protective and she's like, I don't want to go in the comments section and find I'm like, I don't know, you know, take the higher ground, um and and you know, be a big person. But it it like kind of clicked pretty early on. I don't know if it was um, you know, just time or just kind of getting over it where it just kind of stopped mattering in my eyes of like I don't need to click the comments section really in my own photos or anything like that. But you know, I do, you know, like appreciate the good support that I do know I get and the negative stuff. It's like, hey, I don't take myself too seriously, Like I mean, it's like I love like dad jokes and just like being goofy and not taking things too seriously. But like in this show's light, like I took you know, finding love so seriously, but like I myself, like I no farthest thing from it. But that's not necessarily always shown, right Listen. I feel like I understand you. I was I was the boring Bouchelorette where I was so dead set like I went in I had like the job of finding the partner like I was. I was in it to win it. I wanted to get engaged and have it be like my lasting person, and so I was so dead set on like really weeding out the drama and like finding who was best for me. So I understand, like you're kind of in that zone too, of like which and I will say, like I have commended you on this, and I think other people have to plane into like the drama, like you cut it right away and if there is any sort of BS, you're like, I don't want to deal with that. That's not what I want in my life. Like that's not for me, and you you have been very decisive in that regard, which I think most people can appreciate because we haven't always necessarily had that in the past, and it's left everyone involved, even the viewers watching, very confused. Yeah, like I've I've recognized and you both know this, that the time is so short when you're there from night one to the end, and every moment counts, every conversation counts, and you have to be, you know, hyper vigilant on everything and when the end goal is to find the love of your life, when you see drama or you see things that are worrisome, well shit, we don't have that much time till the end. Like, I don't want to risk this for any of us, and I don't want to like lead you know, anyone on and I want to be just honest that like, hey, this this is not what like we signed up for. And I said it very early on a night one, like that's it's not what I'm looking for with this drama. It's nothing against you as a person, it's like for my own self too, just seeing the drama, like I got it, I gotta cut it. Yeah, you seem like You've been great about just listening to your gut and following it and again back to that decisiveness. So let me ask you this then, So now that you're kind of watching it all back and you've lived it, like, is there one moment or several moments where you thought like, maybe I shouldn't have reacted so quickly or do you stand by basically every decision you've made thus far. No. No, I've definitely looked back and looked at quite a few situations where I know I could have handled it way better. Um, you know the decisions you know of having to send someone home. I do stand by that because I'm you know, feeling out and seeing like who could my person be? But to get to that point, there were yeah, a few interactions in general where I look back and I see that like I failed myself, I failed that person and you know, not necessarily who I am, and I you know, want to get better from it. So like the decisions, yes, but not the way I have handled some of them. Absolutely. Yeah, if you were to put it to like, I will will give you a minute to also like like pat, let's pat yourself on the back too, But with one thing up into this point in the journey that you feel like you have struggled with and it does tend to be a necessarily specific situation. Just one thing that you were struggling with or you struggled fails a really strong world word. But and then one thing that you felt like you had done really well, um like looking back at the show, like from everything, um or just at this just at this point of what you've kind of seen to the episodes to this point, because you know, like you you are in a constant state of reflection and it's kind of also hard to jump back into that without like the knowledge that you have now. But you know, you kind of already and you don't even need to actually like speak of what you feel like you've failed on or anything like that. You've been very um, you've taken ownership over the things that you have apologized in the areas where you felt like you needed to. What's one thing you felt like you did well and have done well? Um, I think I think one thing I have hopefully done pretty well, but it feels like I have was never leading anyone on like throughout and you know there's there's gonna be you know, always like the articles and this and that, and you know, the word blindside comes up a lot, and especially the thing Bachelor created it, and it's like there's a certain point where you know, I've always wanted to be truthful and honest with how I felt with everyone, and I have, and you know, the feeling of blindsight's going to happen no matter what in a sense, because it's not like that's why there's a rose ceremony and like a decision needs to be made a lot of time. I think one thing I've done pretty well was always letting them know how I truly feel about them. Now, it's it's tough when you have to make a decision at a rose ceremony and you know you have to follow what is right to you. But I think like everything I've done, I've you know, been fully honest and transparent with all the women throughout our relationship. So that's one ye that it's because it's easy to kind of like you can skate by and maybe just say like a few things here and there and you know, lead them on. And that's the last thing I wanted, Like I only wanted to be true with what I actually felt with each one. Okay, we're going to get into Obviously, like the past couple of weeks, we you have been traveling to some crazy cool places, like fresh out the Gate, you were traveling to like cool cities. Um, I just want to ask you this because it's already crazy that next week is Hometowns and like, where the hell has this season gone already? Like, can you believe right now? I mean, obviously you filmed it, you were in that limbo phase before it aired, and now you're playing it all back. Can you believe like we're already to this point where you are you are going to meet for women's families already? Oh, I mean it's mine. I thought it was going to be the slowest you know, a couple of months there is, you know, watching everything week week and it's actually just absolutely flew by. Um. I am excited for the end of it, if you know, for selfish reasons to like kind of start my life with someone or maybe oh is this a little here you're happy and in love tune in. No, Like, I'm excited it for that that phase of life and that's kind of the most important thing for me. But um so selfishly, I'm like, I'm excited that it's kind of being faster than anticipated, but um, you know it's still the time. You know, when there's hometowns right around the corner, it gets really real, Like that's when you know families are involved, and it's not um, you know what you've been going through, traveling around the world doing some cool fun dates. It's it's like a level of seriousness that you haven't really gotten to yet, and there's a lot of stake and the most difficult decisions of all time come. And I know it's a little nerve wracking, Like I'm getting the butterflies thinking about like going back to that time and looking at it because it was it was it was a lot to take in. Like as I'm sure you both know the nerves and when you meet the families and well, and we'll get into i mean, we'll get into closer to hometowns. But I just want to ask you this too, because now we've all seen the episode, we know your final four. Was there one maybe one woman or family in particular that you were like really nervous, Whether it was because you were like so into that person that you were like this could be my future in laws or somebody that you were like, oh, they've warned me that their parents are going to be kind of harsh. Like, who was one of the girls families that you were most nervous to see? That's a great question. It was Ariel's family. So she had dad that thought it was a game of thrones. He was like naked, and I was and I was like, you know, you know, a little nervous but excited to meet him. But I was also warned, U not warned, but prepared for her brother. And you know, I'm an older brother myself with two younger sisters, um you know that have had boyfriends, and I've played the macho older brother um role, you know, the younger time. But she prepared me for that, and so I was really nervous going into meeting her brother, who, without any spoilers, I don't know if he's a big fan of this whole show thing. And that's so understandable too, is because it is a crazy world and not everybody understands it. That's hard. It's so tricky. It's like ready, set go, and then we wonder why families are like what the heck is going on? It's like because we look, we look legitimately crazy. Well, and I feel like not to get into the whole like stereotypical role of like men and women, but traditionally, I will say it's probably a bit tougher for you as the mail lead ZAC, because you know when you want it. I think most people when they are planning on getting engaged, they want the parents blessing. And so I'm sure that was an added layer that you went into all these homeome Sorry, my dogs just came back so here beeping in their colors. That's them. But I'm sure and you can maybe speak more, Connie, here's mine. Yeah, I could say sorry, but I'm sure you had that extra layer to think about of like one of these four women could be my life partner and I could be getting engaged, and now I have to ask for their potential blessing when they know I'm still dating three other women on top of their daughter. It's got to be like a bit heavy going in every night. It was, I mean, every hometown, you're prepared to have probably the toughest discussion you can ever have, because you know you're you're speaking with fathers, just speaking with mothers, you know siblings, and you do need like for me, I personally believe like you do need to ask for that blessing because that's like I want them to, you know, feel as comfortable as they can with me. But regardless, it's still their family, it's their daughter, ye Um. I want them to feel comfortable or feel safe with me. Um. So it was you know, very difficult uh for you know, a lot of the family to wrap their head around. And I completely understand, and I was prepared for no anything, um that could happen. Um. We do want to get into this week's episode. We we got to get into a Stonia quick because I did questions of a Stone about a Stonia too. Okay, got it, God, you start with that big um. Okay, and we got it. Man. I have so many questions for you, and I just like don't have the time. Um, I would get into London, but like that's a couple of weeks ago. So yeah, so Stonia. The main thing I want to ask you about that week is the we probably know what I'm going to bring up, the conversation with Jess during the group like the evening part of that group date when she ended up going home. You did not think she was going home that night? Correct? Ver? Okay? So that was kind of a shock too, I would say, both of you and the part that I want to ask you about, because just watching that entire conversation, you know, like I can empathize with Jess. Of of course she wants the one on one time, like she wants to build that quality time, especially as hometowns are nearing. But there was one part in that conversation, well, I guess two parts, like more towards the beginning, you said something like, you know, I wasn't necessarily like and I'm paraphrasing, so these are not your words, but like you weren't necessarily worried or fixating on the one on one with her because you felt such a strong connection with her, And then closer to the end of that conversation, as she's nearing to go home and leave, you were like, you kind of backtracked and you said something like, well, maybe that connection wasn't as strong. Can you just talk us through the thought process there, because I was a bit confused, and I'm sure Jess was a bit confused to of and I'm sure that that conversation was much longer than what was aired, so there's probably bits that we were missing. So can you just like talk us through that entire evening in your thought process when speaking with her. Yeah, absolutely, And even looking back on it, before I'd even watched the episode, I had left that that entire conversation that time confused as well, because what it happened is it it was all very quick. The conversation was was long, and obviously it had to be condensed. But you know, Jess, you know, coming to me and you know, expressing these concerns about the one on one, and you know, I took it um out of the what's the right word out of um uh sorry blanket on the word context, out of context basically of you know, I'm saying, you know, Jess, show all of this like emotion and anger with me about this when like all the time, for the weeks leading up to this, like we had it very strong, and I wasn't, you know, necessarily knowing that she was, you know, worried about having a one on one and then I see her on this you know, great cocktail party and and she's very upset with me, and I was caught off guard. I was not expecting that because you know, through the weeks you know, with Jess, I was confident with her, and the issue was and I don't know if it was fully brought in there, but you know, the nerves played a huge factor with her, and I wanted her to feel very comfortable with me, and I felt very comfortable with her from a very early point, Like I I had a moment with her. I think it was week two where I shared something with her that I've never shared with anyone, and she had this like ability to make me feel comfortable like that, and that was something awesome and I was like, Wow, there's something really strong about Jess that I'm digging. And as those weeks transpired, whenever we would talk, she wasn't like, you know, getting too comfortable with me, and the nerves were, you know, to a point that we're um becoming the topic of our conversation of like are you comfortable with me? Jess, Like is this gonna be okay? And that instilled a little bit of fear of me, of like once you do a one on one date, like you spend all day with someone and you know it's it's you know, it's an important date. And I completely see where she really really wants when everyone wants one, And I guess we're my of me saying like I feel so confident, was like I really didn't have like any doubts other than the nerves and of you know, going on a one on one date. But like it just all of a sudden hits this boiling point of you know, all this you know, emotion and anger, and I'm caught off guard because I never knew she was feeling this strongly about not having the one on one and she was thinking it was me not wanting to take her or me not liking her, and that was, you know, farthest thing from the truth. And it was just like a shocking moment where we didn't say anything. We both stood up and and walked out. And I still look back at it and it is a confusing, tough thing that I know I could have handled better, and I knew she was frustrated, and you know, we've we've talked since about it, but I don't know, it's it was just one of those moments of like, even watching it back, I don't agree with the way I handled it, but there wasn't ever any bad intention behind it. It was like shocked from me but completely understanding where she's coming from, Like she wanted to just spend that one on one time. I took it as like, are you like, it's not just about one on ones, it's about everything. Yet totally makes sense that that's what she needed and I couldn't give that to her. Are you the type of person because I was too on the show where like there were certain conversations where if I was caught off guard or shocked or like not fully prepared for like what I was going into, it takes me quite a while to process things really, to like sometimes I need to step away and think about, like how do I want to react, what do I actually want to say? Like what points do I want to get across? And sometimes when you're filming this show, you quite frankly just don't have the time to be able to do that. Are you kind of that person too, where you're like, sometimes I just need time to process all of this and I'll come back. And did you feel like in that conversation you just weren't allowed given you the structure of the show in that circumstance itself, I think it was because it was such a surprise for us both that we were having this conversation that it was kind of like the heat of the moment type thing. And I am someone that I loved a process because I want to, you know, think everything through. I want to you know, act the best way I can with the best intention and figure it out. And when they're when the last thing you could ever imagine happens of her feeling so upset and she goes home like that whole situation just kind of felt like a weird dream like state. Yeah. Um, yeah, it could have gone you know, fifty other different ways. Um. You know, maybe we like took a step back and like we're both trying to understand each other's you know, perspective and and I failed that. Um, but you know, it just just a weird tough night. Yeah. It's it's such a hard environment too, because when those things happen, it's not like you can instantly reach out, and especially in the situation if you have these things of like, okay, so this did happen. But it's also I'm still the bachelor. I'm still looking for my person, and you have to move forward and really like focus on that. It's hard. It's like you're not gonna whereas like it was a friend or any any something that happens, you'd call them a few like hours later, a day later and be like, hey, let's work through this. Yeah, but in this situation, it's like you have to wait till the tell all and you have to you have to wait for a long time. And it's like you also have to focus on your energy too with like Okay, this happened, but I can't spe I can't. I mean I'm not can't speak with her right now, like physically can't. And I have to continue right right, Yeah, Yeah, you have to as the best as you can try to just regain composure and um, you know, when you do have some some downtime, like just try to process what happened. And that was something that I you know, for weeks tried to like mentally wrap my head around, um, like what had happened. And you know, now watching it back like and talking with her, it's it's been something that I think, you know, it was was great for us both to talk about out and I understand where I missed the line, and um, I wanted her to know that like that's not what I wanted for us and not how I wanted her to feel. Like that was the modest thing from it, but my actions showed that you could absolutely see it as that. So I apologized for that, and I think we're we're on good terms. Yeah, I'm sure we'll see it all play out next week on the tell all those main moments like where you we all get the closure that we need so to speak. Um, okay, let's get into this week. Then in Budapest because you had two one on one dates, and then the group date, which we really want to get into this group date because Michelle and I had had our thoughts about it, so many questions. Michelle do you want to get into because I know, like can I get into est? Hang it away? Okay, okay. My first question for you is, outside of this experience, have you ever gone to a psychic? Have you ever you know, spoke to mediums and worked with any of these different things? I feel believers act Why are you like and you don't have to be you don't have to be like full in or full out just you know what I mean. There's people who are open to it and there's people who are not, and both sides is completely valid. Yeah. To be honest, I have never felt with anything like this, like a medium, a psychic, like the magic ball stuff, Like I've never never done that. I think my dad when he was a kid was like like he was raised kind of like that, but he's like he doesn't do that anymore, so I'm familiar with it. I've never once had like a I think I had one tarot card reading and that was on last season. But other than that, like, it's not my scene. I'm more of like I like magic, Like I was sold on him magician and then a mentalist. So as you're going into this date, how how was it when you were sitting down and this mentalist he really he seemed very legit and kind of showed that he was valid or what is it he was? He was spot on? Um, was it hard for you to just you know, these women are being so so vulnerable, But after they're vulnerable, it's hard because they don't get to you don't get to have a conversation and you don't necessarily get a sit and console or like have them elaborate, elaborate on anything that they're saying, and you're seeing that they're hurting or you're seeing that they're struggling. And I did see you kind of reach over in comfort multiple to women when they started to get choked up or when they started to get emotional. Was that really hard that what that was in a group setting? But also just the whole fact of like this person is bringing these things out of them and it's hitting home or it's you know, and you're trying to help them with their emotions, but you're also trying to process Wait, how am I perceiving this? How do I feel about this? Can you kind of explain how you handle that date? Yeah? I mean it was It was a very strange date because, as I said, you know, it started with you know, magic and kind of lighting up you know, the mood and everyone was feeling good. And then at the end and what was really shown is when we are sitting down on the stage and talking about like um, you know, and when Labib is like pulling out like stuff about them, you know, stuff that you know has you know, hurt them or trauma or something they're trying to work on, and I'm seeing them be emotional like like it was very painful to see because I you can't do it really in a group setting of like really trying to console and you know, get and kind of dig deeper or or not dig deeper if it's not something you want to talk about more, but just having a better idea. And I know, I do know that after that date, it really did mess with all the women like that shot them because they weren't expecting to feel that on a group date you know that have typically been really fun and um, you know different this this one just really I don't want to say like it shook them, but it did because they weren't expecting that date. I would be, I wasn't expecting it to get to that like no idea, and you know I wanted to that night, um at the after party, you know, ask them how they were feeling about it. But also see like you know, was the you know, was the line drawn somewhere like like did like did it go too far? Like tell me how you're feeling about that, because that was like you've been trying because I just observed it was one of those things of like this mentalist stuff. It's not in my realm. I don't know if it's truly real or not. And this and that and and now I'm you know, hearing some really sensitive information that obviously is having an effect on all the women and I'm trying to to I guess, sort like sort through it mentally of like okay, is this you know, like is this real? Like what this guy Labib is sharing? And obviously the women are really hurt, so like I want to get to, you know, the bottom of it and see if they're truly okay. And I don't know. It was It was not what I thought the magician date was gonna do, right right. I wish you would have seen more of the magic just because it was like, is this a red late? Do I need to be focusing on the red flags? Or don't need to be focusing on the consoling? Or wait, what's going on here? It was just a whole mind f Honestly, it was a very mentalist date. It was a very yeah, but they're normally not that heavy. I feel like I wanted to see the magic checks. So um, Okay, I have a question that has to do with this date. But I'm asking I'm going to ask both of you this. Okay, we're gonna have a real just brutally on this moment when you were both contestants on the Bautcher and batchelorrette. Because I'm saying this because there was a point where Kat was in the hot seat with this mentalist and he asked her, like, have you thought of leaving at any point in this journey? And she said, well, yeah, did either of you throughout your I hate same journeys, but I'm gonna say it, and venture path throughout your adventures on Matt season and Rachel and Gabby season, ever think about leaving, whether like it was just so overwhelming for you, you didn't know if this was the right whatever it might be. Was there any any point where that crossed your mind? Michelle? Do you want offers? Yeah? I think where I when you like struggle, It's not like I'm taking off and I'm leaving. I think it's natural to feel incredibly uncomfortable and question things. And so in my situation, there's just so many things that go into this where like you're trying to constantly read this situation, and you're reading the situation from the moment you step in until the moment you're you know, you never truly know, You never truly know as a contestant, if even if you're like a runner up position or if your hometowns, you never know if it's actually you. And so of course as a human, you're gonna question it. Yeah, it's like the fear of your heart being broken because you know, yeah, it might not be you at the end. So the easy way out is to just like think in your mind, okay, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, and like for me, like I remember, you know, all night one of last season, I was like I don't know if this is my thing or not. Like I was like, not my cup of tea, and that's you know, beating the women. But still like it's such a scary environment you're in, and it all goes down to having like it's just normal fear like everyone is. It's like not about the person. I'm not leaving you because you're not worth it. It's just like what is going on is Yeah, well I wanted to ask you that because I will say there was one week, it was like week six or seven on our season where I hadn't had a one on one date in since week one, and I felt like I was falling behind. I felt like he was having connections stronger than mine up until that point. So I was like, well, what am I still doing here? Like I'm uncomfortable. I feel like I'm falling behind. So there was one week where I was like, I shouldn't maybe just go home, Like if he's fall in love with these other girls, that's incredible, but like, right now, he doesn't feel like me. And so I asked that because like when Kat said well yes, I'm sure some viewers took it as like, oh my gosh, well she's not here for the right reasons and she must not be that into Zach. You know, like people's minds go to like these weird places when all you hear is the yes and you don't hear the why behind it. But I could empathize with Kat in that point because I was like, we've I'm sure most contestants at some point or another, whether they Admitte or not, have probably thought maybe I should just leave and remove myself and maybe this isn't for me. And so I think the more people like talk about that, even though it might be taboo and again like not here for the right reasons, I think it's important that people say, like we're all out of our elements at some point or another, and it's just a common, I think, human emotion that everyone goes through on the show. So for Kat, like and I know everyone was struggling this week and especially on this date. But I could see where she was coming from when she said that. But Okay, Zach, I know that you're a busy, busy man, and we don't want to keep you too much longer. But just a couple more questions before we get into the end of this. We all know you're going into hometowns next week, which is such a pivotal part of this all like it, it's when it really gets real. You're meeting the families, you're meeting potential in laws. So how are you feeling now? Are you ready to watch Hometown Week back yet? Or you are you pretty nervous for this one? I'm pretty nervous. I mean, like all weeks I'm nervous watching it, but this one in particular, like I'm very curious to see again. Just how like everything you know did go? You know, all four of the families are very special, Like they really are very unique, and it was an overall great experience. But that doesn't take away from the fact that it was maybe the hardest week maybe, well, I know one thing, I felt like that was one of the most stressful weeks of this entire thing, because it's like you its families are involved, and I'm like a big brother in my own you know, life, and I'm going to be meeting big brothers and i know exactly how they're going to feel about me. It's like going to like not going to war, but it's like be prepared to, Like you're gonna see it all, so it'll be good. All right, Well, we're excited to see that. And then obviously after that that home Yeah, Hometowns will air Monday. The Women Tell All airs Tuesday, so we'll have a back to back episode night without giving too much away, is there anything that you can tease us for what's to come, like what to expect with the remainder of the season. Yeah, I'll just say after Women Tell All, um Overnight week, Fantasy Sweet week. Um it uh, it gets I don't want to use the word juicy, but it gives fantasy see fantasye the juice now a very descriptive chain and does not necessarily go the way I think we all thought it would. Oh that's a really good teaser. Well yeah, now I'm thinking like I'm nervous about that's day interesting. Okay, Oh okay, Now I mean obviously we're gonna watch the rest of your season. But damn now I'm very intrigued about all this. Okay, okay, uh juicy and not the way we think it's going to go. That's great. UM well, okay, usually at this point we play a game. But again, I know you like you're busy, So we're just going to wrap it up here and UM, with all of our guests, we get into this resource section where we like to share a different resource. It's so important for our listeners to stay informed and we just like to offer a place where they can go and easily access these different resources on what we're sharing. And so UM, I'll kick it off, and then Michelle will go and then Zach you can share your resource at the end. But I'm going to pivot from the usual topic of what we do and the resource I'm sharing this week is an Instagram video with John Stewart and anyone can go onto the account The problem with John Stewart, and it's actually a recent interview that he did with UM. I think it was an Oklahoma senator. I believe. Basically, he interviews this senator about the Second Amendment and gun rights and why he's advocating for like strict requirements for guns, and just watch it. The senator is trying to argue the opposite doesn't do a great job, but it's such an important topic. We've seen so many mass shootings in this country and guns are the leading cause of death for children in this country. Yeah, and so he's basically interviewing the senator and advocating for why we need better regulations in place for people to own guns. And so it's it's I think eight minutes. It's an interesting watch. So I would highly urge everyone to go there again. It's called the Problem with John Stewart. So that is my resource for the week. And now, Michelle, if you want to share yours, um mine's gonna be super short and quick. I'm all about I'm anti racism is it's a huge journey, it's a lifelong choice, but really making it's efficient for people when they're coming down to putting it at the work. And so there's it's called anti Racism Daily. It's you can get it in a book form, you can get it in an app form, and essentially it's like kind of like your daily quote. I'm a big quote person, but a quote comes across my screen every single morning on on whatever app. Quote at quote app. I'm using same concept here, except for it's like either resource it's a quote or it's just like a question to reflect and think about, like a thought provoking question. And so it's short and sweet. Um, gives you a lot to think about. And it's also a really good like conversation starter, whether it's at the dinner table, whether a's in your work life, things like that. Um. And yeah, so it's called a r D is what the apps called. And I'll leave that a r D. Thank you, Michelle, And now Zach you are up. Yeah, um, you know you know, for me, UM, Saint Jude, Saint Jude Children's Hospital is something that I hold near and dear to my heart and um, you know, recently I was trust um at a fundraiser event for them. My uncle's um then fundraising money for them for over ten years. But the cool thing and what I love about Saint Jude is that they support families of all backgrounds, all associate economic, race, backgrounds, money and they make sure that they help every child and family that comes in to the point that there will not be a single bill ever sent to the families of anyone of any children that is going through any um, you know, medical issues, cancer, all the research, it's all handled fully from Saint Hue and I'm just the biggest fan of them. But it's it's pretty cool work what they're doing and making sure that no family, like, no matter how little money you make, it will be fully covered housing bills, food travel for all the family that's involved, for child that's going through it. That's incredible. That's really that's really such a nice job. Yeah, well, so thank you, Zach. The last thing we have for you before you head out of here is your rose and thorn. And I think you've done this the last time you were Unhappy Hour. But basically your rose is your highlight, favorite moment thus far on the show. And then the thorn is obviously a messy moment, awkward, something that you cringe at when you think about, oh yeah, I can kill on. He's like, how long do I got here? Yeah? I just write it out and give you a check. Rose um. One thing that I still get, you know, people coming up to me talking about it and I loved it and it's something that I'll never forget. And it happened a while ago was the Bachelor Bowl. I the amount of people they come up to me about that, just seeing like how well the girls played, how like hard they you know, they put effort in, how cool you know our surprise guests were. Um Like, that was one of those just like moments that I that has not been you know, lived down by any means. So that's one I always look back on. But there there's been so many like very romantic dates, um that you know, I do replay over in my mind quite a bit. But I think the Bachelor Bowl is something that I'll get stopped about it like all the time, and it's a lot of it's my football buddies. Um yeah that would you say that's your favorite group date? Because I was going to ask you that earlier. Does that like take the cake for your favorite group date? Yes? Yeah, I loved that. I also thought the The Bahamas one was pretty cool because it was different. It was actually us just hanging out. Like it wasn't like any weird mentalist type thing like in any like pame rules. It was like, let's just all have a barbecue. Yeah, Bahama, Mama's constantly almost too much, but okay, how much you craze when you said I'm just a Bahama papa searching for my papa. I love it. Did you get me? Did you get made into a gift or me? I don't know. I'm like stretching midway through it. I'm like not thinking clearly. I just no. I mean, that's embraced the crene. I was cackling when you said that, because then I think a guy on Instagram, like two seconds before you said it, he was like, I guarantee he's gonna say he's a Bahama papa searching his Bahama mama. And then too many later pops up and he's like, I called it us. You gave us all laugh So thank you. It was. It was good. It was a very entertaining. Yes, thank you. And then you're a thorn, my thorn. I think the biggest thorn of the whole season would would be just about the entire week in London. Um, you know, not all of it. You know, I still had the time to have a one on one date there, but that whole week just was such a curveball that we kind of were all scrambling, like we didn't know what to do. This hasn't happened before you know it hurt. It hurt all the women. They didn't know what was going on. I didn't know when I was going to see them next. And you know, then there was you know the zoom or the virtual cocktail things, you know that. Yeah, as we all like saw like I I you know, could have handled that better as well. Um, but it was just such a frustrating, confusing week where everyone I know was just guessing, like, what the hell's gonna happen? Yeah, what's the first time they've ever had to deal with that. I mean, the show has had to restructure so much just since COVID. I mean we've seen seasons that were quarantine, but yeah, that was the first time we've ever seen the lead have COVID and have to figure it out. And I mean they figure it out. They will figure anything out on this show, Like they really are the magicians, let's be honest, but still relying, still relying, you broke history. Yeah, there you go, and pore exactly. Honestly, I was thinking about that. I'm like, God, this has got to suck because he probably misses these women. But I was like, dude, he's catching up on so much sleep and that has got to be nice. Oh well, well, Zach, thank you so much. I know Becca and I are happy to just have learned so much more about you. I know it was a crazy launched tier season. I know that there's a lot going on. There's always a lot of noise and battination at times too, and there's not there's support, and sometimes there's not a lot of support. But I hope you can patch yourself on the back. Truly. I mean it when I say there's They call you boring or whatever it is, but you you truly do and have seen I've seen you make these women so comfortable, um, which just the way that you handle conversations, the way that you acknowledge the awkwardness of the camera in your conversations, and just kind of getting everyone to embrace, um, just embrace the whole show experience. And that's not hard to do when you are also learning and getting your lead legs underneath you, so that it is hard to do, alright, So sorry, yeah, it's it's not it's sorry. Yeah, it's very hard to do. Or I sometimes think that when when people are there as leads, you're the lead of a show. But it's like not like none of us have been here before to know what the hell we're doing, and it's so different from being a contestant, and so truly like you've done such a great job with making those women comfortable as comfortable as possible in this really weird situation. Yeah, so and we and we're really happy like you are able to join us today. I know it's a crazy time putting ourselves back in this limbo phase where you're hopefully in love and want to share it with the world and you just can't. And so you have been so incredible to watch with these women. They all seem like so enthralled with you, and you really have a great cast. So the best part I will say is yet to come. Once all of this craziness is over. You do have a lot to look forward to. And in the meantime, I mean from two leads who have been in your shoes, we are here to answer questions, advice, to vent, to bitch, whatever it needs to be. We are here and just know that that, like the lights at the end of the tunnel, good times ahead and we're here to support you. So the next time we see you on a happy hour, we hope that you're accompanied by wonderful lady next to you. If that smiles any indication I think this worked for you. So we will wait a couple of weeks to find out. But thank you in the midtime, and again we're always here. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Well, Michelle, I'm glad that we finally had him on. And it's nice having the leads on further in the season as opposed to like right after night one, because we have so much more to chat with them about. Yeah, they're just and I didn't really think about that until today but or after our conversation with Zach. But it's like when you're it is nice to have him at the beginning because I mean you talk about the excitement and they're and all these different things and what could potentially come. But now that we're in this stage where it's already filmed and now he's already going through the process of like rewatching it. He has done like the press tours, he's done all those different things. It's just you become more comfortable was speaking about it vulnerable. There's just more like wisdom there, I guess, not that there's not before, but like it's just easier to speak about a different like a deeper understanding of how everything kind of works postseason, I would say, and he's and that's why, like we're we love always having new guests on again, like every week. I love having the new contestants on because we get to know them more. And I'm happy that we finally had him on because I felt like he could kind of reflect and hopefully feel like he was in a safe space with us, because like we've been in issues, We've all made mistakes. There's things that we've regretted or wish we did differently, and so we can empathize with him. But I'm glad that he was in a place where he can kind of now reflect and be like, you know, I wish I would have handled this a bit differently, or I can see where somebody was coming from during the conversation. And so Zach think you we know that you're a busy, busy man. He is in the midst He is probably traveling like crazy, constant interviews, like his life is about to get even crazier, and so the fact that he could take an hour or two out of his day to just chat with us, I really appreciate. So it was great to have you, zach On and Michelle. Good to be back with you again, and a huge thank you to all of our Happy Hour listeners. Of course, we couldn't do this every week without you, so thank you for tuning in. And just a quick reminder, next week is going to be a bit different. So like usual, you'll still catch your normal Bachelor episode on Monday at eight seventh Central, but we also have an episode next Tuesday. Hometowns is Monday. Tuesday is finally The Women Tell All, which Michelle, I know that we're I'm not guys excited we're looking forward to I mean obviously, and we should just touch on this, I guess really quick. Since we're here, there's obviously so much that has to be covered on the Women Tell All. Some of these women we haven't seen for weeks. What are you looking forward to for the Tell All? I just think I can kind of just speak on there's been a lot of conversations behind the scenes, Nobecca that you've been in some of those as well, to just really make sure that we're moving forward in a positive direction. And I'm interested and hopeful that for this next segment here with the Women Tell All, that those things will be addressed and that also the cast is able to address just some different things that they've kind of navigating through as well. And so yeah, that's I'm hoping for that. Yeah, I think that's all I'll say. Yeah, I think the one thing that we're interested in seen and you know, we kind of touched on this a bit at the very beginning of the season was some of the tweets and the social posts with Career, and she's somebody who we haven't seen a ton of on the season, just given the circumstances of having COVID and not being able to travel, but we've all seen those tweets that are out there, and so I hope that this is a platform that a conversation can be had and that can be addressed. And so again, there's going to be a lot that goes down on the Tell All, as there always is, but I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that that's something that's included because we've kind of dropped the ball a bit in the past on those conversations. So we will be tuning in next week definitely to see both the Hometown episode and Tell All again Monday and Tuesday, eight seven Central on ABC and then you can also stream those the next day on Hulu. And another reminder is that casting is still open for men to date our next to Bachelorette. So if you are single yourself, or if you know a friend or family member who is single that you want to nominate, just go to the website and that is Bachelor Nation dot com slash apply and make sure to hit us up on social. You can follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and from there you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on Twitter and TikTok and for you Prime members, you can listen to bouch Your Happy Hour ad free on Amazon Music. Just download the Amazon Music app today, or you can also listen ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. But before you go, please tell us about yourself by completing just a short little survey at wonderrey dot com slash survey. Thank you everyone, and see you next week. She cheers