Exclusive: Kat Izzo Breaks Her Silence on Her Split with Dale

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Rachel, and Charity is with us today via zoom.

00:00:09
Speaker 2: And we have a very very special guest joining us. Everyone, please welcome the One and the Only, the one of her kid.

00:00:16
Speaker 1: Kay is Hello, truly, the one and only.

00:00:22
Speaker 3: Please that's really scary.

00:00:24
Speaker 1: I'm scared for this episode.

00:00:28
Speaker 4: I'm not. I'm excited.

00:00:30
Speaker 1: I know you are. I'm so excited to have you here. First of all, thank you. There's been a lot that's been going down recently, and we.

00:00:38
Speaker 3: Are time to talk about it.

00:00:39
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about all of it today.

00:00:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, we didn't want to talk about it with anybody else for the first time.

00:00:45
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm so excited. So I guess where do we start?

00:00:51
Speaker 3: There's too much I could I have anywhere you want.

00:00:54
Speaker 1: Okay, So, Bachel Nation, the last that they saw you, you were in a relationship.

00:01:00
Speaker 3: That is true. You were Kale Oh jesus, Yeah.

00:01:04
Speaker 4: The couple name is crazy. Yeah.

00:01:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I was in a relationship last time you guys saw me, and last time I guess I spoke publicly. So this is my first time speaking. But things have changed, Things have changed, have changed.

00:01:18
Speaker 4: Wow? Okay, well, we're going to dive into all of that today.

00:01:21
Speaker 2: I think we should start with maybe, I guess give us a little summary about your time on Paradise, because, as we all know it, that was your second time back and a much better experience around this time around.

00:01:35
Speaker 1: Okay, I loved first time with you.

00:01:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of us. Okay, guys, it was really scary, but I loved having you on the beach, Rachel, that was great.

00:01:44
Speaker 1: We had some good times. Yeah, hearing Kat screaming from the pull up bus, I ran and Chase sewan down the beach, like the will never be anything like it.

00:01:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, Dobe, you can you can hear I can still hear my screaming. No, this time was so much better. It was so different. I mean, obviously we had better conditions, in my opinion.

00:02:04
Speaker 1: Air conditioning.

00:02:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, and overall, just coming in like clean slate, didn't know anybody had no preconceived notions, was so much more refreshing because then you can just really see people for who they are without any judgment. And then obviously and turned into a competition, so we had that aspect and that was really fun having the challenges, but it did bring people closer together. I think so a lot of couples came out of it, me included. And you really got to like see people in a easier light than I think before because you weren't like in fight or flight speading, no sweating, and like wearing makeups. You actually felt pretty.

00:02:40
Speaker 1: No, you can't. Watching me to play the games was my favorite part.

00:02:43
Speaker 3: Oh which one? You mean the bug crash out? Yeah?

00:02:46
Speaker 4: Insane, insane TV.

00:02:50
Speaker 3: I couldn't help that. That was a true panic attack.

00:02:53
Speaker 1: I loved watching you, though. I think it takes a lot, you know, the last time you were engaged, yes, and then to come back again and really put your self out there. I feel like we saw a completely different side of you. You were just I feel like, so understanding and caring, and I just love that side of you. And so I was so excited for this relationship. I mean, Dale, he's a little older, more mature, Like that's what you need. No, so that's not the case.

00:03:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what we hope for, right, but that's what everybody.

00:03:20
Speaker 1: No, truly, I actually know nothing about what has gone down. Said, So I'm in my seat, I'm shrepped in no this season, and I'm buckling my seatboat I mean, I don't know.

00:03:32
Speaker 3: We're actually though, like I would love a shout of tequila, Like what do I need for?

00:03:38
Speaker 1: What is about?

00:03:39
Speaker 2: Should we start the episode off with a good cheers, because, like you know, I just want to set the news. I mean, you guys are in person and I'm not there, but like we can cheers with we can cheers with a good clean water.

00:03:50
Speaker 1: It's okay, it is so bachelor to do with cheers before anything we do.

00:03:55
Speaker 3: We take the toast away.

00:03:56
Speaker 4: I know you can give a toast cares too.

00:03:58
Speaker 2: I have mine in my little tumbler. But here's to a great episode. Here's to kat is as growth and character development.

00:04:08
Speaker 4: Because it's never it's always evolving.

00:04:12
Speaker 2: Here's to us getting some good tea, good story time, and honestly just good vibes all around.

00:04:18
Speaker 4: So to a great episode late and.

00:04:20
Speaker 1: Don't forget cheers to love, oh.

00:04:23
Speaker 4: Obviously love to us, truly to us.

00:04:28
Speaker 1: I do wish this was something stronger because I'm getting really sweaty.

00:04:32
Speaker 4: I can't wait till drive January's over with. I'm not gonna lie anyway.

00:04:34
Speaker 1: Are you actually doing that?

00:04:35
Speaker 3: Absolutely not, I'm not either.

00:04:38
Speaker 2: You're a butter both of us Okay, okay, yeah, we should just really get into this. I don't want to take up any more time. I'm like, I'm on the edge of my seat.

00:04:48
Speaker 3: Personally because it is I feel like it's a lot, like all of it together. So yeah, okay, Kat.

00:04:56
Speaker 2: So obviously with you going back to Paradise, you I had no idea who was there, but I guess because we know you and Dale left in a relationship. What did you know about him prior to go into Paradise anything, Like did you have your eyes set on him?

00:05:12
Speaker 4: Were you hoping that he was going to be on the beach? What was your expectations.

00:05:17
Speaker 3: I really like did not know anyone at all or their background story. Like I knew of him because he dated like a previous Bacherette, but as far as like the intricacies like the details and stuff like all, I just knew he was like attractive and that he was older, so I was like that probably comes with like good things. But I really like did not know too much other than that, like and kind of let everything like be really like in the moment.

00:05:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like we didn't get to know him at all. Unclear season this is the first time I got to know Dale.

00:05:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I didn't even follow him on social media, Like I didn't even know what he did for work. I didn't know what he did for his life. I didn't know like anything. So everything I like discovered was there, and I think i'd overheard that, like potentially like someone that was older like was going to be.

00:06:05
Speaker 1: There and say did you have him on your list?

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Speaker 3: I didn't have a list, Rachel, to ask you this last time, you know, I had Oh my god, every I knew there the sun.

00:06:14
Speaker 1: Moon and starts. I could literally list Kat's list from one to three. With the amount of list talking we talked about.

00:06:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were all said like like that's the thing, and it truly is. But I really like I signed my contract at Stage Coach like the weekend before.

00:06:27
Speaker 4: Like literally was like I personally love that. You know, you at least did not have a list, Like it.

00:06:34
Speaker 2: Really changed the season before, Like I think everyone had like a ranking of like they knew.

00:06:41
Speaker 3: Have no idea.

00:06:42
Speaker 1: The way that the girls would talk and they make up movement. It's like Tyler's her number one, but Tanner's my number three and he's I was like, who can I date? Just tell me which one to date, you were like so scared.

00:06:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't terrify me or anyone.

00:06:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was on the beach with my friends and like I was, I didn't even know they were basically alone. Yeah, like you didn't have anyone from your season, and I.

00:07:04
Speaker 3: Was you were just like so much you did it, Like it was so much better that way, you just I mean for you care. No, I loved it.

00:07:11
Speaker 1: I loved meeting you guys.

00:07:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like it's just better when you don't come in with like an idea because then you won't like limit your like emotional availability. So yeah, with him, I really just like took in for what I saw. So like if it wasn't kicking it, then I like clocked it because then I feel like you're able to notice when things feel off because you don't have this idea of this fantasy that you've already created versus like first time I did it, there was probably a ton of science for different reasons, but I had created something already in my head that you overlook it, so you can really just like be present with the person and the people in general.

00:07:45
Speaker 2: So yeah, so like when he came to the beach or when he had his arrival day, Like, what what went through your mind?

00:07:54
Speaker 1: Because I mean, I feel like I could see the light, but I guess eyes just like it was low. It was like love at first sight. It is what it seemed like. You were talking to Johnathan and You're like, I.

00:08:06
Speaker 3: Does not love at first sight.

00:08:09
Speaker 1: It looked like it.

00:08:10
Speaker 4: I'm dead.

00:08:11
Speaker 3: I was excited. I was excited because I was like, okay, like he's older, you know, and like I like hope that comes with different as like things that like I feel like I align more with like people that are a little bit older than I am, just in life, like we have similarities with our seat like where our stages is at typically, but that can always I'm open to whatever. But and then we didn't really get much time the first day because we had like rain, so we went to bed pretty early. And then yeah, I don't know. I was just like excited to see somebody new on the beach because I kind of like really was still feeling everyone out.

00:08:50
Speaker 2: So yeah, I was gonna ask like at that point where you like, did.

00:08:53
Speaker 4: You have yourself maybe set on anybody before he came.

00:08:56
Speaker 3: No, I don't think I was set at all. Like it's just not like a thing, like I was so fluid, it was so weird.

00:09:02
Speaker 1: No you, I'm like, why am I so chill right now? Like what's going on? I feel like your time on the beach, like you guys did go through so much. We did, like you went through the hardships and watching you have serious mature conversations Like when I saw you doing that good well because we know you could do it, I'm like, I was so.

00:09:23
Speaker 3: Proud of you.

00:09:24
Speaker 1: But watching that, I'm like, Okay, this is definitely gonna work out. Outside of paradise. Like you guys went to the beach, then you were like whisked off. You were like in Vegas. You were all over the place, like making out with your man. So after the show, it was like still hot and heavy.

00:09:40
Speaker 3: I mean so like there was definitely like we went through a lot of ups and downs that you can to correlate into real life that I don't really feel like I experienced the first time. So that was a little bit more promising. But you know, being in this environment that no matter what like you experienced, there can you never know how life is going to be when you leave, when work comes into play, family priorities, everything like that like I really need my partner to prioritize me because that's how I move in a relationship, and that's become more of my like non negotiable and I feel like this is probably the first relationship I've ever been in where like my needs and wants are so clear and I'm able to communicate them so if they're not meeting that, like I can clock it in that in real time. And I felt like we had like glimpses of moments that could potentially like lead to something great, but it really just comes down to like in real life. And then so when we first got off the show, it was good. He came and saw me like right away in San Diego.

00:10:38
Speaker 1: He's in New York, right, Yeah, And when I was on.

00:10:41
Speaker 3: The show, I was like, hey, these are all the things I experienced like first time, and I need to make sure that like they're not going to do that. I was very clear that I'm not leaving San Diego.

00:10:49
Speaker 1: I just got there and you both were engaged, so you know what it's like to write like that exactly, Sorry, this are hurting my little years.

00:10:57
Speaker 3: So yeah, I was very clear of like I don't do long distance. I don't want to do long distance, and I'm willing to put in some time if that's the goal, and we're moving towards it like actively, and I was under the impression that his life is really fluid at the moment, so he was able to like he wants He said he wanted to leave New York and all these things and sounds like San Diego was like a total option, and I was like, Okay, that's like kind of perfect if that's something like that was in the way beginning, Like I don't even think I would have spent more than like five minutes if that was not discussed early on, because that was such like a clear thing that I knew I wanted, and I was very like set on, like this is where I'm living. So because what does he do for work?

00:11:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, because you're a very wet it I really know. Okay, so we still don't know, No shame to it.

00:11:48
Speaker 3: But I think it's a combination of like, I know he should be moving to you because oh, yeah, have a I have an established job. I have an established like client community and everything like that. Granted, so his job definitely is centered around like public spacing.

00:12:03
Speaker 1: Okay, so is he a model I saw him in, Like I think.

00:12:10
Speaker 4: I truly am going to fall out this chair.

00:12:13
Speaker 3: Because a party city, if I please? You know what, he owns a tripod, he owns.

00:12:20
Speaker 1: He took those pictures in the taco costume.

00:12:22
Speaker 3: Oh no no, but those are his job. His job requires the tripod and like enlightening stuff for sure, and a.

00:12:29
Speaker 1: Ring light and like physically, I you know what, I listen, I get it.

00:12:33
Speaker 3: I you know, same yeah, same, because we're girlies. But like I will never date a man that owns a tripod again. I will actually never. That is number one on my list. If you own a tripod, you're out, so sorry. The only reason, you know, the only reason you're trying to use the camerastic pictures of me and like sometimes yourself. But like, if you know, can I.

00:12:59
Speaker 1: Ask you a question? And yeah? Was he ever like let's make content?

00:13:03
Speaker 3: Like let's do Yeah.

00:13:05
Speaker 1: So it was like kind of pushing it because I think it's no secret to everyone who's listening that, like when you leave the show and you're on TikTok, yeah, making content it does do well.

00:13:15
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:13:15
Speaker 1: So did that seem like something he was trying to push?

00:13:18
Speaker 3: Not really with us together as much, like it is his profession now, so like he kind of needs to be like that's like how he makes money, right, So the more content he makes, the mare goes out. But like I do very different content than him, Like I'm like very authentic in the moment, Like I make like silly things, and if it feels forced, I'm like so strange in it. So like I think we just have different ideas of what that looks like. But when we first came off the show, like he took it so seriously, like we could not be seen in public in any capacity whatsoever. I understam being like you have to be careful.

00:13:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it felt just like a little bit more intense knows better than me because yeah, two weeks, I want to go in a gas station together.

00:14:06
Speaker 3: Like he felt like everybody knew who he was. He's like I dated the most, Like I had this most public relationship. Everybody knows who I am, Like I'm going to get recognized everywhere.

00:14:14
Speaker 4: Like like somebody was.

00:14:15
Speaker 1: I mean you guys though probably would get recognized.

00:14:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was in like I'm sure if we were out in crazy public spaces, not a station, but it was just like a constant thing, and it felt like I was just like, how am I.

00:14:28
Speaker 4: Going to okay experience this relationship?

00:14:30
Speaker 1: Right?

00:14:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it was just like a lot of things that felt like super intense that was like really disconnecting in a wife for us. But I was just like, dude, no, what he cares.

00:14:40
Speaker 1: Like he had a public relationship since Claire.

00:14:43
Speaker 3: I mean I think, so okay, yeah, I guess his acts, but like yeah, yeah, but it's like he made he felt as if like, yeah, he stands out in a room Like I'm not going to disagree with that, but like we're like we also like our inner real relationship too, so I have to like feel that way in order to like come relationship grow. So we were trying our best to see each other and like the moments that we had, and like he had a lot of work obligations on the weekends and so he went to No. He said that it was way too public if we went to New York. And because I think, I don't know, I guess, I mean exacinitely lessening. I don't know, guys, I never cared. But he would come stay with me like a few times, like for like a week or so, because like he had the capacity to do that, and like I would work, so he would just like stay at my house and everything, so like we would see each other for extended periods of time, and then we kind of went on some trips as much as we could, like secretly, but anyways, Yeah, I just felt like we still needed so much more to grow in the relationship. And I started to see how the other couples are moving as well, and it just was like okay, well, you know, especially like right before it was airing, I was like, okay, it's in a couple of months, Like what's our plan, Like are we gonna are you gonna make your way here? Like how are we going to move this together? And kind of always just got really vague responses, one being like, well, that's always the goal, and I was.

00:16:04
Speaker 4: Like okay, like hell and then give me a full plan.

00:16:08
Speaker 3: I could never get a full answer, and then he was like that's tabless like for now, and then said that you know, I guess like other couples in this space, like didn't you know, come together until I don't know when, like maybe a year later or something. And at the time, I was like, oh, I guess maybe I'm moving too.

00:16:25
Speaker 1: Fast or whatever.

00:16:26
Speaker 3: But then like as things started to settle, I was like, no, actually I don't really care what other couples do, Like that's what I want, That's how I want to grow a relationship. I thought you were in a space of life where like you could because that's what we talked about. But it felt like if he did, then he was gonna like hold resentment towards me because like San Diego is just like apparently to him, not anywhere that he could grow his career.

00:16:47
Speaker 4: So, uh, he did he tell you that? Yeah?

00:16:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, but so it just felt like, Okay, I don't know, I never really got full answers, like always, I don't really know what the true reason was. I don't really know what his intention always was. But that was like kind of before it aired.

00:17:03
Speaker 4: And then, uh, you know, do you mind.

00:17:07
Speaker 2: Me asking before you go on, like what you guys specifically? I guess when he came to San Diego and visited you, Like, how did you feel like either one of you like facilitated like the growth in your relationship because I know, like like Rachel is saying like happy couple of times or just like the time that you guys have in hiding is like, at least it was for me, I thought super important superent because like that's like how you like you were building up to this, like you know, you kind of have this momentum coming off the show, but it's like those are the crucial building stages of like, Okay, when this is public, this is how now we're going to like continue off of this foundation that we've already laid and like work together on while we've been secluded, which I think is the most like sacred intimate space.

00:17:44
Speaker 1: To do so.

00:17:45
Speaker 3: And like it's such a like we'll never get that time back because once it's public, it's public. So it's like, let's enjoy why we can so something I did? I think I give you the book too? Yeah, one of this book I was reading? Is it one problem? Is that the awesome?

00:17:59
Speaker 4: Yah?

00:18:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like I got us both the book and it was all different parts of like yourself and the relationship. So when we did start to face like hard moments, we had like a referencing and we were supposed to do it together, and I was kind of like always pushing the hard conversations.

00:18:12
Speaker 1: Hearing this coming from Cat, like I'm so proud of you then I know the book. It's like I'm like, I'm so proud, You've come so far, so good. Thank God for modern medicine.

00:18:26
Speaker 4: I know.

00:18:27
Speaker 3: Well, honestly, I think not being in school, like I finished in peace school like two years ago and congratulations, thanks fish for two years, and I felt like just that light that lift of like Okay, now I can like focus and I'm not in like this crazy like survival mode all the time. And then moving to a new city at the same time and like re experiencing like a new season of life allows you to really like have the time. But I tried really hard to just kind of like keep us moving in a way that felt close. I am never afraid of hard conversations. I will initiate them right away and talk them through as like health like in every healthy way that I can at the time. Sometimes it was met with you know, similar energies in him as it wasn't you know, we are offered like the therapy, and I tried that with him, but honestly, like it was fine. It wasn't like super like hard where really it just felt like it was getting stagnant.

00:19:22
Speaker 1: Did you start to feel like maybe you were more in it than him in those times.

00:19:28
Speaker 3: Me, I always feel that way, and uh, I guess, I guess I had more not really like into it, but I had more like drive to grow together and step apart. And what I was gathered gathering I guess in the sense of like how he views relationships is more of like an exchange of life partnership almost and not companionship. So he would like label companion like He's like, well, you want like a companion. I was like, yeah, of course I do. Like that's is like I want to be silly. I want to date my best friend. I want to be like like I want to like just be our like most authentic and real selves and like's I know, I want to date my best friend. And I didn't know if we were like getting there. But you know, when your work is stressful, that can cause you to be a little disconnected with yourself, which I think affected him a little bit. So he was in a space of like, I guess a busy season. It's just I don't really know what was true. Like the problem is is like after everything is done now I look back to those moments and we had hard times and the responses that I got and they could very well be not true, and they could very well be like what he thought I needed to hear at the moment. So it's hard for me to speak. But that's the experience I lived then. But I don't really know what the underlying meaning or feeling is because I don't really know like who, like what lives on the inside, if that makes sense.

00:20:52
Speaker 1: Do you feel like he was like playing a part just because Paradise was about to air?

00:20:56
Speaker 3: I think he plays a part. I think he definitely plays hearts in everyday life. Like that's how he.

00:21:02
Speaker 4: That's like who he is. Yes, yeah, and that's why he gives to the world.

00:21:07
Speaker 3: At least that's how I've experienced it.

00:21:08
Speaker 1: I think it. Yeah, you still don't really know who he is?

00:21:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess.

00:21:21
Speaker 1: Where was the first crack like that you really started to notice that this wasn't going to work.

00:21:26
Speaker 4: Yeah, just crack.

00:21:28
Speaker 3: That's a good one, honestly. Probably while it was airing there was moments. This is the first time that I've ever like they I felt like so much that what you saw was so true to form. So I'm watching situations that I thought I understood or I was like thought that that was the situation like what like the Alicia and Jonathan and that one. Well, first it was the I saw us our interaction right when you're having like our first fight on Paradise, so when you're in those moments kind of hard to remember. But I was kind of experienced similar communication in real life, which I brought up to him and then it became this whole thing. So I kind of let that die down. It was whatever, but I noticed that he was not honest with me. So in Paradise I was told that, Like when I first was told that by Jonathan about how Dale said that he wanted to just go on a date, I guess to like get me worked up, which is my worst fear because I get worked up.

00:22:26
Speaker 1: Really we heard him say it right right.

00:22:28
Speaker 3: Right, So when I heard that from Jonathan, I was like, oh, this is I don't do games like you can literally go play with someone else. And that became a big thing. But he told me that that came out of Sean's mouth like verbatim. He said Jonathan was not even in the room that they were talking about it before Birds of Paradise all this stuff, And I'm like, Sean would say that because he's always trying to like mess with me whatever, So I'm like, oh, maybe Jonathan misunderstood whatever moved on. It was not until like I think the day or two before it aired, we were like driving back from some event we were doing in La like with Bachelor, and he mentioned that Jonathan or wait, what did he mentioned? He mentioned that it was actually said outside of the room, and then it did come from him, but he confessed, but he said that Jonathan still was not said to him, that it was said in general, like he stood on that, and I'm like, wait, so that did come out of your mouth, Like what do you mean? And he was like like yeah, like brushing it off. I didn't really get any details, so I was just like what, but I get it, like you're in these places like maybe it's hard of everythings whatever. Then I actually watched him say it to Jonathan's face, and I'm like, you don't mix that up like that happened. And at the same time, I'm seeing how he was with Alicia, which none of that I didn't even really showed it, and like me, I didn't know any of that. So I'm like it's bringing back a lot of like old trauma from two years ago where I saw people's like feelings about me without knowing and it was just really really that was like one of the hardest episodes to watch, and I really needed him to just like reassure me and like we talk it through because I could be really understanding and forgiving, like I don't like hold guards as I wish I did, but like I can't. Like it's just like but I can understand people make mistakes and you have low character moments, especially in these environments. Right, But it was completely like deflected. He I guess was going through something else and like could not talk to me, and like I felt like every time I tried to bring up something that I was experiencing watching the show, he was like, well, we already moved past that, Like why are we talking about that right now? Well, I moved past something completely different, and like I don't want this to reflect like what's going to happen, and like like let's just like have a conversation, and it just kept getting like minimized, in my opinion, minimized and just like not not any accountability or reflection of his own momenttions that's when we tried to do the therapy, but then it's being to.

00:24:47
Speaker 4: Start o compassion either like hello, I know.

00:24:50
Speaker 3: Well I guess I was to have compasion for him for whatever was happening in Stepe.

00:24:53
Speaker 4: Well, it's it's both parties.

00:24:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have compassion and rightfully, so like you're expressing something that's difficult where you need it.

00:25:00
Speaker 4: That is a first step is like you were expressing these emotions and what you're going through to him. Now it's up to him for him to digest that and then give you back in turn what you need. So zero compassion, right and for me, that.

00:25:12
Speaker 3: All comes down to communication. So we saw that our communication did not align very well. And I notice every time that we've tried to bring like it felt like he was still in that space where he felt under attack, which is okay, like I've lived that, I get the audience by everybody. No, just like so anytime I bring up something, it was like, let me prove to you why I'm not wrong in what you're feeling, not let me understand your feelings more, not let me understand myself more, which is a maturity thing, Like I think that that just takes time. But then it was I've studied stress management and I know all these things about like communication, I've done all this stuff, and so like I don't don't bother me with this, like I'm thirty six years old, like.

00:25:54
Speaker 4: Blah blah blah, Like okay, that's insane. Yeah, like congrats, but like, okay, you study stretch might let's see you. Yeah, it was show me you're right, show me what's really going on? Show me.

00:26:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really weird. And then you know, he did stuff on weekends that, like I guess, required a lot of his attention. So I felt just like I didn't even have a boyfriend at some point, like I was like in my relationship right now, like I don't really feel like loved or like taken care of in the way I thought I was going to. So those were just like my experience, like not to say that he couldn't. Like that might be what's okay for someone else, but like I know what I need a lot more than what I was receiving, and it just felt like I either have to accept his lifestyle and his life or like move on. It didn't feel like it was we were building trying to build together a relationship together, and so that kind of just like was always in the back of my head. And then he met my family and everything was fine there actually, and then it was yeah, he was like around the week of the reunion and he's staying with me at my house and I think maybe he was stressed with work or something. I don't know. I just kept feeling like I was in the same room with him and like I was alone, and I.

00:27:03
Speaker 1: Feel like he's been stressed with work for months now.

00:27:06
Speaker 3: I mean, that's what you said. It's always yeah, So what do I just know? That's so valid? Yeah, exactly, But it sounds like Kat.

00:27:14
Speaker 1: Was more than clear about what she wanted. I also this even happen.

00:27:17
Speaker 3: Every single week, four to five times a week, seeing multiple patients working ten hour days, okay, like I have just as much on my brain, and then trying to manage and live my life and friends and family and social and again so like I have just we all have responsibilities. It's either do you want to fit your partner in your life or you don't. And sometimes like people have different priorities and how the balance looks for them. And I started to notice, like maybe our balance of what we want in a relationship is off, Like and that's okay. I don't try to make people into what I want anymore. I used to do that, and I'm like, you're either it or you're not, because like I don't care, Like I would much rather be alone than be in a relationship and feel alone. And so that started to be what I was experiencing.

00:28:01
Speaker 1: And then.

00:28:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just not very good healthy communication. And I really feel like I was like very seen or anything. Whatever things would be discussed, and I also felt like I was the only one like initiating like hard conversations in terms of maybe like every time I would initiate them, I still never knew where we got. Like it was there was no clarity talking in like actual circles. I was like the beginning of that sentence did not have anything to do at the end, like let's stay on track here. And I started to lose a lot of patience with that because that's just like not how I work. And then we went we became public and everything, and what I loved was like and I was like really stressed about how everything was going down with Alicia and Sean and my ax and everything, and like I was really focused on like that because it was bringing back a lot of trauma from before, so I was like, I it was hard for me to balance everything together. So he was really supportive with that, which I appreciated. Looking back, I'm like, was he just supportive because it made him look better, or like, was he actually did he really care? Because like in the reunion, I felt like everything I had things to say and I was going to stand for myself and he was so specific about like staying composed. You kept saying composure is like such a thing.

00:29:13
Speaker 1: And I was like, what does that? He didn't want to talk.

00:29:17
Speaker 3: You can if you watch that reunion, that man that was like trying, like was trying so hard to make me quiet, Like.

00:29:23
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys were like a unified like he was almost.

00:29:26
Speaker 4: That's an optic thing. That's one hundred You don't think so what oh the fact I'm saying him.

00:29:32
Speaker 2: Saying suggesting to you to stay composed, that's an optic thing. Oh yeah, Because at this point, it's like, you, guys, she should know one who he's dating.

00:29:42
Speaker 3: He knows.

00:29:43
Speaker 2: He knows this personality that you know, whether or not you have something to say and you're passionate about it or whatever. He already knows that. So to suggest, oh, please stay composed in this moment is like I don't want to hear any like thing from the audience. I want us to be perceived as this couple like that.

00:29:59
Speaker 3: And and also I've had so many moments up until that point where I've proven my composure, which then I started to feel like, oh, I have to like prove that to him, and that's extremely triggering for me, Like living in a space where you're trying to prove this version of yourself to your partner when like it's like you could just see me for who I am. You know, I shouldn't have to prove that, and I think I've proved it very well once again. Then the show was done and I was able to actually live in this relationship and experience this relationship I think fully and like completely, and now there's no excuse about not being able to see in public. Now there's none of that. So I still felt like off. And we went on this weekend trip to what I thought was going to be more about like us and I wanted to go to New York Fashion Week, but I guess he had this big thing that he wanted us to do in Vegas with the boxing and it ended up being me in like a house with a bunch of guys, like I was the only girl and like you've never even seen me put on a boxing glove in your life, Like I.

00:30:55
Speaker 4: Don't am, so what is that?

00:30:58
Speaker 3: I was like what I go they before? That's when I learned that we were going to be this influencer house that I was like.

00:31:03
Speaker 1: He's like, I was like, you know, he didn't even get you guys a hotel, like nothing else.

00:31:08
Speaker 3: This actually was for him. It was his paid opportunity. I didn't get paid, but he made me feel like, oh this is like this is way cooler, like everybody's going blah blah blah. But at first I said yes because I thought we were going to be like in a hotel and doing all these things. God, I don't even know. Maybe he created a fake messages like because he I don't know.

00:31:28
Speaker 1: So were you going into this knowing it was a job for him like he had worked? Not really, No, he presented it to you as this is something we're gonna do together, like just a fun weekend.

00:31:37
Speaker 3: Fun weekend, but like it's obviously like we're bune with people that like are in the same space. But like I learned that I was gonna be staying in a house, having to participate in workouts like actual like boxing workouts.

00:31:47
Speaker 1: This is my night. No.

00:31:49
Speaker 3: I was like, wait, what is this schedule. I'm like, I'm not going like we don't have to be like what is this rocky Like you're getting up He's like you don't have to do it, like blah blah blah. I was like, wait, what what is going on? I'm like what and so yeah, it was just like so not anything for me. So right, so you're bringing me into an environment like I love to turn anything, start whatever, like I'll be cool, but like you're still bringing me into an environment that's all new for me. I know, no one, And then once again I felt completely alone.

00:32:17
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what the crazy thing is. I remember seeing like all the coverage of this at the time, and it seemed like you guys were like such a happy couple.

00:32:24
Speaker 3: Yeah no, that's like the internet for you.

00:32:26
Speaker 1: So was that him? That's like, I want to present this to the public even though you were not having a good time.

00:32:31
Speaker 3: He had our most biggest fight there.

00:32:34
Speaker 1: Okay, so obviously this conversation is far from over. So tomorrow we are going to do a part two and dive into the actual breakup.

00:32:43
Speaker 4: Okay, and we are so excited. So Bachelor Nation, this is Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:32:47
Speaker 2: Make sure that you are tuned in, subscribing, and don't forget to listen.

00:32:52
Speaker 4: See you guys soon