341 | Art of the Session: Role Play in CCPT - Staying Centered When the Child Assigns You a Role

Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy

In this episode of the Art of the Session series, I focus on how we engage in role play within child-centered play therapy sessions—and more importantly, how to do it without taking over the process. Role play often trips up even seasoned therapists, especially when we assume, ad-lib, or react without clarity. I share specific examples of how to stay grounded, use whisper or wonder techniques when unclear, and how to remain neutral in your tone and response—no matter how absurd, violent, or emotional the play might get.

Whether it's being assigned the role of a queen, a mom, or a turtle, it's essential that we don't bring our own scripts into the session. Instead, I explain how to wait, reflect, and let the child set the pace and parameters of the play—so we remain truly child-centered. This episode reinforces that every interaction—even pretend food, puppet bites, or birthday announcements—offers us an opportunity to respond without leading, interpreting, or disrupting the child's process.

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Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast

Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

2025-10-01 18 min Transcript

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Transcript

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing in art of the session and we are almost ready to wrap up.

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So next week will be our close out of the Art of the Session series.

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And I hope that it has been a help to you.

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I hope,

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I know many of you have reached out

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and said that it's been really grounding and really

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helpful.

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So that's always been my goal,

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but I hope that it has encouraged and inspired

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you and given you more confidence in the playroom.

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So we are going to talk about role play today.

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And

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this is one of the most consistent struggles when I watch Play Session videos.

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When we are tasked with.

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Playing a role or assuming a role in the playroom.

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And sometimes we're not even asked to be in a role,

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but the child includes us in play and therefore

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we are interacting based on what's happening.

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We tend to go off the rails a little bit

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and so

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I think this is gonna be really helpful.

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I want to make sure that we are remaining adherent even when we are playing a role.

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And whether that's because the child has told us you're going to be fill in the blank,

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or

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they come up and they engage with us playfully

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in either scenario how we respond to that in a fully CCPT manner.

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So one of the things that I've talked about before with the I wonder technique

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is we reserve

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I wonder statements for clinically relevant and necessary information.

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And the really exciting news is role play is one of those moments.

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So you absolutely can use an I wonder statement.

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When you are not sure what you are supposed

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to do or say or how you're supposed to respond

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in a play session.

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In other words,

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child says,

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let's be pirates.

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All right,

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let me pause here because this is,

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I'm,

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I'm going off script rogue for a second,

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but it pops into my head and stream of consciousness is important.

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So

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what often happens is the child says,

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let's be pirates,

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and we go,

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I wonder what we were supposed to do.

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We so quickly

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react with an I wonder or a whisper technique,

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as soon as a child says,

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let's be pirates.

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Here's a really helpful tip.

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Reflect content and wait.

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So kid says,

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let's be pirates.

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Oh,

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we're gonna be pirates.

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And wait

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We rush the pace

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of sessions often

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and not intentionally,

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not because we want it to be quicker,

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but because we just

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are ready for the next thing

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and if we sit in the pocket and we wait and

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we give the child a little bit of time and space.

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The child will either go,

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come on.

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And then you say,

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I wonder what I'm supposed to do next.

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Or

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we wait

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and the child goes,

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all right,

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you're gonna go over there and you're gonna put

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that hat on and you're gonna have the treasure,

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and then I'm gonna go over here.

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I promise if you give it some space,

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just wait a beat.

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You will know exactly what should happen next.

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We do not need to immediately respond with Tell me what I'm supposed to do.

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Just reflect content and it will unfold.

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OK,

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so now I'm,

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I'm back on target.

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So the whisper and wonder techniques very important in those moments

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because we cannot just jump in.

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This is another thing that I see consistently.

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Child engages us in some way.

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Child tells us,

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I'm gonna be the robber,

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you're gonna be the cop.

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And we just

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roll with that.

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Like,

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OK,

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you wanted me to be the cop,

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so I have to,

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and we kind of have these expectations

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of role that we're supposed to fulfill.

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And I will never forget,

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I think I might have shared this on a podcast before.

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I know I've talked about it in the coaching.

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I will never forget,

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early on in my career,

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I had a little girl sit in front of the dollhouse and she got all the family people out

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and she said,

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OK,

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you're gonna be the mom and I'm gonna be the kid.

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And

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I sat and waited.

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I said,

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oh,

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OK,

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I'm the mom,

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you're the kid.

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And I waited,

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and she goes,

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yeah,

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OK,

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so be the mom.

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And I said,

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I don't know what the mom says.

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And I will never ever forget what came out of her mouth because

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my connotation of a mom,

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I wasn't even a mother at that point,

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by the way,

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but

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my connotation of a mom

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and how a mom would talk to a child and treat a child and interact with a child

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was

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my own construct.

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And it was about 180 degree difference than what she wanted me to say and do,

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because I said,

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I don't know what the mom says.

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And she goes,

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Get in your room.

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You're grounded.

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You're not even getting dinner.

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And I mean,

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she was yelling and angry and saying really aggressive things.

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And I just thought I would have never

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been a mom that way.

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But that's what she needed me to be.

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She needed me to be the mom that she needed me to be.

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So if I would have said,

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Morning,

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sweetie,

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are you ready for breakfast?

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And

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however,

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I was going to paint mom.

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It was not at all what she had in mind.

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It was not what she needed.

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It was not what she was working through.

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This is why we cannot just jump into a role play

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because we have no idea

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and I'm gonna get to reactions in a minute,

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but

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let's talk about jumping in.

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We can't make assumptions,

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we cannot assume or presume to know

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what exactly it means when a child just gives us the title of the role,

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like you're the queen.

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You're the cop,

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you're the pirate,

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you're the turtle,

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you're the mom,

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you're the baby,

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you're the teacher,

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you're the principal.

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We have no way to know

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in the child's mind in that moment.

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And let's be real clear,

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that moment,

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it can be one thing and another moment it can be another thing.

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So sometimes it's not a consistent role that they want us to play,

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sometimes the teachers mean,

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and then 3 weeks later the teacher's nice.

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It doesn't necessarily remain static.

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But we certainly can't presume or assume we know what that looks like.

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Second of all,

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we do not want to ad lib.

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So,

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when the child gives us the title of our role,

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you're the queen.

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Oh,

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you want me to be the queen.

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Yeah,

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so go sit on your throne.

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Oh,

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I have a throne to sit on,

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so then we sit on the throne and we wait.

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And then if we're given

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only a little bit,

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we're going to whisper or wonder.

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If we're given

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a little bit more,

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we can go with what we're told to do or say,

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but we do not ad lib.

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In other words,

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if the child says,

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order people around.

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OK,

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well,

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that's not enough of a clue,

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because what are we ordering them to do?

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And so order around.

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A lot of times we would think,

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oh well,

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I,

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I was told I'm supposed to order people around.

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So we might start telling

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servants to feed us grapes and

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fan us with palm fronds.

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I don't know.

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I guess that's more like Egyptian,

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but

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you know,

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we might have this

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construct in our head of like,

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oh,

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well,

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I want people

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ordering to,

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you know,

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serve me.

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What if it was

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order someone around to

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Go

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to the knight's quarters and get the horses ready and we're gonna have a battle,

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and that's a totally different royal position,

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royal job.

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So,

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we can't ad lib,

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we have to say,

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oh,

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I'm supposed to order people around.

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I wonder who I'm ordering around.

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The

250
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,469
The stable boy.

251
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:37,929
Oh,

252
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,440
I wonder what I say to him.

253
00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:40,760
OK,

254
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:44,500
and you can see you're always getting a specific prompt.

255
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:49,340
You don't just want to kind of go with where you think the child's play is taking you.

256
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:51,059
And then finally,

257
00:08:51,309 --> 00:08:52,780
you do not want to react,

258
00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:55,799
and I think this one might be the the the trickiest of all,

259
00:08:56,510 --> 00:09:00,140
because we might master not assuming and we might master not adlibbing,

260
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:03,140
but reacting is a little bit harder.

261
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,890
So often when we are in a role,

262
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,489
and or the child is engaging with us.

263
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:11,400
We

264
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,219
react to what's happening.

265
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,190
Let me share an example,

266
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,400
child puts a puppet on

267
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,520
his or her hand.

268
00:09:19,119 --> 00:09:20,200
And comes up

269
00:09:20,469 --> 00:09:24,140
and with the mouth of the puppet wraps the mouth around your arm.

270
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:25,789
Often,

271
00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:26,409
actually,

272
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,260
probably most of the time.

273
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,190
Therapists go,

274
00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,359
oh my goodness,

275
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,450
it's biting me,

276
00:09:33,599 --> 00:09:33,950
oh,

277
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,640
it's eating my arm.

278
00:09:37,289 --> 00:09:37,799
All right,

279
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:38,419
well,

280
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:40,119
that might be the case,

281
00:09:40,969 --> 00:09:41,599
or

282
00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:44,280
it might be far more helpful to say.

283
00:09:45,369 --> 00:09:45,820
oo,

284
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,250
it's around my arm.

285
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,219
What if it's

286
00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:52,659
Kissing you.

287
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:54,020
What if it's hugging you?

288
00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:55,549
What if it's

289
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,380
something we have no way to know

290
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,309
unless the child gives us the word.

291
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:01,859
If the child comes up and says,

292
00:10:02,119 --> 00:10:02,630
watch this,

293
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,500
it's gonna eat your arm off.

294
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,409
Well then absolutely we would follow that

295
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:08,140
metaphor and we would reflect that content.

296
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,900
It's eating my arm off,

297
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,190
but notice even then we're not reacting.

298
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,169
Because we're prone

299
00:10:15,479 --> 00:10:17,030
if we get bitten

300
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,450
or stabbed or shot or punched

301
00:10:20,799 --> 00:10:21,469
or

302
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:22,359
eaten

303
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:23,309
or

304
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:24,200
whatever,

305
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:25,549
whatever the scenario is

306
00:10:26,239 --> 00:10:27,710
we tend to

307
00:10:28,119 --> 00:10:29,429
exaggerate

308
00:10:29,799 --> 00:10:30,919
our response.

309
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:36,320
I don't know if a child walks up with a knife and stabs me in the neck.

310
00:10:37,109 --> 00:10:39,919
Y'all have those retractable knives in your playroom

311
00:10:40,229 --> 00:10:42,909
where they can walk up and it literally looks like they stabbed

312
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,659
you because the hilt goes all the way to your skin.

313
00:10:44,869 --> 00:10:45,510
Those are amazing,

314
00:10:45,549 --> 00:10:46,219
by the way.

315
00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:46,909
But

316
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,500
if you have one of those and you get stabbed in the neck.

317
00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:51,679
You can say,

318
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:52,669
oh,

319
00:10:52,849 --> 00:10:54,299
the knife's in my neck.

320
00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:56,070
But

321
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,650
are you supposed to be crying in pain?

322
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,549
Are you supposed to be dead?

323
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,840
Are you supposed to be gushing blood?

324
00:11:03,239 --> 00:11:04,659
Are you supposed to be moaning?

325
00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,349
Are you supposed to be stoic?

326
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:08,510
Are you supposed to just sit there?

327
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,679
Are you supposed to be shocked?

328
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,880
Are you supposed to be scared?

329
00:11:12,049 --> 00:11:12,760
We don't know.

330
00:11:14,059 --> 00:11:16,409
So your most helpful strategy

331
00:11:16,739 --> 00:11:17,210
is

332
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,450
to be calm

333
00:11:18,739 --> 00:11:20,130
and to be factual,

334
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:24,099
and to be accurate in your acknowledgement of what has happened.

335
00:11:25,359 --> 00:11:26,210
No reaction.

336
00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:27,890
You get shot with

337
00:11:28,179 --> 00:11:29,099
a dart gun.

338
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,559
So many therapists

339
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,510
pretend to keel over and die.

340
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:35,280
I mean,

341
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:35,559
like,

342
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:35,960
seriously,

343
00:11:36,159 --> 00:11:36,880
eyes rolled back,

344
00:11:37,039 --> 00:11:38,070
tongue hanging out,

345
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:42,169
and like arms open wide and they like splay back across the chair.

346
00:11:43,179 --> 00:11:44,289
Did the child say,

347
00:11:44,539 --> 00:11:44,710
Ha,

348
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:45,609
I killed you.

349
00:11:47,809 --> 00:11:48,960
If not,

350
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,320
you don't know

351
00:11:50,570 --> 00:11:51,559
whether or not

352
00:11:51,729 --> 00:11:52,599
that bullet,

353
00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:54,119
you might be invincible,

354
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,799
you might have superpowers,

355
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:57,599
you might have immediate healing,

356
00:11:57,929 --> 00:11:59,940
you might have bulletproof armor on,

357
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,340
you might be an armadillo and

358
00:12:02,570 --> 00:12:04,440
bullets can't go through your shell.

359
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:05,169
You might,

360
00:12:05,489 --> 00:12:06,650
who knows.

361
00:12:07,489 --> 00:12:08,250
The child,

362
00:12:08,359 --> 00:12:09,429
but no one else.

363
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,130
So therefore,

364
00:12:11,719 --> 00:12:13,109
if the child doesn't say,

365
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:13,440
Ha,

366
00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:14,549
you're dead,

367
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:15,719
then you can't say,

368
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:16,190
Oh,

369
00:12:16,359 --> 00:12:17,000
I'm dead.

370
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:17,950
You shot me.

371
00:12:18,119 --> 00:12:18,919
And here's the other thing,

372
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,390
even if the child says,

373
00:12:20,479 --> 00:12:21,390
you're dead,

374
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,840
we don't roll our eyes and stick out our

375
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,229
tongue and splay backwards with our arms open,

376
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,049
we go,

377
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:27,679
Oh,

378
00:12:27,729 --> 00:12:28,440
I'm dead,

379
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:29,320
and we wait.

380
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:33,130
Because we don't know what the reaction is supposed to be,

381
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,200
and here's the beauty of this.

382
00:12:34,210 --> 00:12:35,719
If you are adherent to this,

383
00:12:35,849 --> 00:12:37,919
if you are consistent with this,

384
00:12:38,169 --> 00:12:39,380
you just calmly,

385
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:40,369
factually,

386
00:12:40,489 --> 00:12:43,309
accurately acknowledge what has happened.

387
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:44,169
Oh,

388
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:46,679
it's around my arm back to the puppet.

389
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,239
The knife's in my neck,

390
00:12:48,409 --> 00:12:49,559
back to the stabbing.

391
00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:50,099
Oh,

392
00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:51,130
you shot me.

393
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,559
If you just acknowledge what happens,

394
00:12:54,719 --> 00:12:56,190
the child learns

395
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,469
that if they need you to react,

396
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,869
if they need you to say or do or feel something,

397
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:02,869
they'll tell you.

398
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,840
You won't even have to whisper and wonder

399
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,030
at some point because they will become so accustomed

400
00:13:09,409 --> 00:13:11,690
to giving you the cues and the prompt because

401
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,090
they know that you're not going to react.

402
00:13:15,549 --> 00:13:17,320
And here's why this is so important.

403
00:13:17,409 --> 00:13:17,750
I don't,

404
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:18,770
I don't want to

405
00:13:18,979 --> 00:13:22,289
belabor this if you don't understand the value of why we're talking about this.

406
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:23,770
Kids

407
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,539
work on what they need to work on.

408
00:13:26,359 --> 00:13:30,400
And every single thing they do in their play has meaning and significance and value.

409
00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,890
So the child has this train of thought going where

410
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,679
they need ultimate power and they need ultimate control,

411
00:13:37,969 --> 00:13:41,530
and they're going to kill people because that's the most powerful thing.

412
00:13:41,609 --> 00:13:42,840
If you can take someone's life,

413
00:13:42,929 --> 00:13:44,880
you are absolutely the most powerful.

414
00:13:45,369 --> 00:13:47,809
And so there's this whole power control thing going on.

415
00:13:48,789 --> 00:13:49,299
And

416
00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:50,119
you

417
00:13:50,849 --> 00:13:52,299
Get stabbed in the neck

418
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:53,299
and you go,

419
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:54,469
oh my gosh,

420
00:13:54,549 --> 00:13:55,190
that's funny,

421
00:13:55,229 --> 00:13:56,469
you just stabbed me in the neck.

422
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:59,580
That does not fit at all

423
00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:02,549
with the narrative that was going on in the child's head.

424
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,859
And we have to be really careful

425
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:10,190
about allowing that to play out the way the child needs and wants it to,

426
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,950
and that's why we don't

427
00:14:12,159 --> 00:14:14,030
assume or react or ad lib

428
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,609
because the second we do,

429
00:14:15,669 --> 00:14:19,219
we run the risk of it taking the play in a different direction,

430
00:14:19,239 --> 00:14:19,719
#1,

431
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:20,280
#2,

432
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,150
distracting the child from what they're actually working on,

433
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,270
or number 3,

434
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,659
interfering with

435
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,070
the work that's being done.

436
00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:30,250
The child will always cue you

437
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:31,630
if you don't

438
00:14:32,099 --> 00:14:34,369
make a judgment call on your own.

439
00:14:34,619 --> 00:14:35,770
And the longer you do it,

440
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,020
the more kids learn,

441
00:14:37,179 --> 00:14:38,979
they have to give you prompts.

442
00:14:39,099 --> 00:14:40,609
So more often than not,

443
00:14:40,859 --> 00:14:42,260
now in play sessions,

444
00:14:42,940 --> 00:14:44,570
something will happen and the kid will go,

445
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:45,409
say this,

446
00:14:45,859 --> 00:14:46,539
do this,

447
00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:47,530
pick that up,

448
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,299
go over there,

449
00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:48,770
go,

450
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:49,890
oh no.

451
00:14:50,869 --> 00:14:51,090
Uh,

452
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:51,919
when I stab you,

453
00:14:51,929 --> 00:14:53,169
you're really scared.

454
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:58,609
They've learned because I'm so neutral that they are going to give me

455
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:00,580
the response that they want me to have.

456
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:02,840
That is CCPT.

457
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,239
That is child centeredness.

458
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,799
That is being with.

459
00:15:06,969 --> 00:15:08,799
I'm never going to do anything

460
00:15:08,929 --> 00:15:11,010
that might derail if I can help it.

461
00:15:11,909 --> 00:15:13,299
what the child needs to do.

462
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,900
That's why role play is so important.

463
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:16,630
And I mean,

464
00:15:16,669 --> 00:15:20,539
this extends even to simpler things like when someone gives you

465
00:15:20,869 --> 00:15:22,070
food that they made for you.

466
00:15:23,059 --> 00:15:26,450
They do a whole lot of nurturing and caregiving play and they cook food,

467
00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:28,090
and they do

468
00:15:28,739 --> 00:15:29,729
a plate for you,

469
00:15:29,739 --> 00:15:31,619
and they bring it over to you and they say,

470
00:15:31,679 --> 00:15:32,099
eat it.

471
00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:34,140
Well,

472
00:15:34,590 --> 00:15:36,530
you're not supposed to go,

473
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,020
mm,

474
00:15:37,109 --> 00:15:38,059
it's delicious,

475
00:15:38,109 --> 00:15:39,559
it's so good.

476
00:15:40,179 --> 00:15:41,900
What if it has arsenic in it?

477
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,289
What if it was made with garbage?

478
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:45,780
What if it

479
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:47,979
has rotten milk in it?

480
00:15:48,429 --> 00:15:51,299
You have no way to know what your response is supposed to be.

481
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:53,330
So you take a bite and you say,

482
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:53,789
hm,

483
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:55,210
I'm eating the food you made.

484
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:56,969
And you wait.

485
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,109
Because they might go,

486
00:15:59,479 --> 00:15:59,640
yeah,

487
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,229
tell me that it's amazing,

488
00:16:02,599 --> 00:16:03,590
or they might go,

489
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,500
do you taste the soap that I put in it?

490
00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:07,359
It's gross,

491
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,080
isn't it?

492
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,030
And then you can go,

493
00:16:09,119 --> 00:16:09,299
oh,

494
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,080
it's gross,

495
00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:11,200
there's soap in it.

496
00:16:12,299 --> 00:16:15,080
But we're always waiting for the prompt.

497
00:16:15,179 --> 00:16:15,969
Similarly,

498
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:17,140
with

499
00:16:17,549 --> 00:16:19,130
when a child tells you something,

500
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,609
and this isn't really role play,

501
00:16:20,619 --> 00:16:22,119
but this goes along the same vein.

502
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:23,690
When a child tells you something,

503
00:16:24,099 --> 00:16:25,539
it's my birthday this weekend.

504
00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:28,260
We're prone to go,

505
00:16:28,429 --> 00:16:29,179
oh my gosh,

506
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:30,700
it's your birthday.

507
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:32,330
That's so exciting.

508
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,500
That's assumptive,

509
00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:35,739
it's presumptive,

510
00:16:35,849 --> 00:16:36,919
it's reactive.

511
00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:38,830
What if that kid

512
00:16:39,479 --> 00:16:40,400
for 3 years in a row,

513
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,789
no one's gotten them one present for their birthday?

514
00:16:43,299 --> 00:16:45,739
What if last year everyone forgot about their birthday?

515
00:16:46,719 --> 00:16:49,119
What if their birthdays this weekend and they're scared to

516
00:16:49,119 --> 00:16:51,270
death that mom's not gonna show up to the party?

517
00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:54,260
We have no way to know

518
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:57,099
what is going on when a child tells us something,

519
00:16:57,669 --> 00:16:59,659
so reflect content neutrally,

520
00:16:59,989 --> 00:17:01,549
your birthdays this weekend.

521
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,070
And wait

522
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,479
If they need to process it,

523
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,469
if they want you to know feelings and deeper stuff,

524
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,880
they'll let you see it.

525
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:11,069
If they don't,

526
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,189
you want to communicate that you heard them

527
00:17:13,358 --> 00:17:15,709
and that you're listening and that you understand,

528
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,130
but you certainly don't want to assume and react.

529
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:19,939
Because

530
00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:22,959
that's our way of leading and guiding

531
00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:24,800
what happens inadvertently,

532
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:27,170
and we want to make sure that we caution against that.

533
00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:29,650
So I hope that that is helpful.

534
00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:33,500
We are going to wrap up Art of the Session series next week.

535
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:34,859
Really looking forward to that,

536
00:17:34,869 --> 00:17:36,410
and then we'll dive into something new.

537
00:17:36,469 --> 00:17:39,939
We're gonna do some one-off topics for a little bit as kind of a palette cleanser,

538
00:17:39,949 --> 00:17:40,500
if you will.

539
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:42,420
And reminder,

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00:17:42,589 --> 00:17:45,479
we are meeting in Houston on October 11th.

541
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:48,660
So if you are able to be there,

542
00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:52,670
please RSVP in the show notes so that I have a headcount.

543
00:17:52,869 --> 00:17:54,020
I'm really looking forward to that.

544
00:17:54,109 --> 00:17:55,430
So many of you have already signed up,

545
00:17:55,510 --> 00:17:57,339
so I think it's going to be so much fun.

546
00:17:57,589 --> 00:17:58,109
I love y'all.

547
00:17:58,189 --> 00:17:59,030
We'll talk again soon.

548
00:17:59,229 --> 00:17:59,430
Bye.

549
00:18:00,589 --> 00:18:03,349
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

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00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:04,469
Brenna Hicks.

551
00:18:04,589 --> 00:18:06,550
For more episodes and resources,

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00:18:06,709 --> 00:18:11,459
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.

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