Empowering Women Veterans: Tina Parker's Journey through Leadership, Neuroencoding, and Overcoming Scarcity Mindset

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.

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<v Speaker 1>Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, hello, hello everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, today we have our amazing return guest, tina Parker, a retired Lieutenant Colonel.

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<v Speaker 2>I am so happy to have you on again.

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<v Speaker 2>We were yakking and talking a minute ago, so I had to catch my notes.

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<v Speaker 2>I forgot who I was interviewing today.

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<v Speaker 3>Who's on this show today?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome, tina.

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<v Speaker 2>So Tina again is a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel.

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<v Speaker 2>She's the founder of Lead Outside the Lines, a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist and neuroencode I'm sorry, brain health advocate for women veterans, which is what we're going to dial into today, which I'm really excited about.

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<v Speaker 2>We've not really delved into this a lot and I'm glad you brought it up, so it's going to be a fantastic show and a transformational leadership expert.

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<v Speaker 2>So, tina, why don't you tell us, for people that haven't seen you on the show before, tell us a little bit about yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>So a couple of years ago I retired after 23 years in the Air Force as a Lieutenant Colonel.

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<v Speaker 3>Seven years was active duty, the rest of the time was as a reservist and so for those veterans out there you know that means part-time.

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<v Speaker 3>So obviously I was doing something else with my time outside the weekends.

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<v Speaker 3>And I worked for Homeland Security for 13 years as a Director of Communication and a chief of staff for National Operations Center and, like this, leadership and coaching has been in my blood just forever, right throughout my entire career.

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<v Speaker 3>And so when I just I had that inclination that this was the pathway that I needed to be on to help other people, to help visionary leaders, elevate and what came to me through traversing through all the certifications and I mean you know you named a couple of them and, like it's crazy, we won't go into all of them but what came up for me going through that was women really have very distinct issues that we are working through, distinct things that come up for us, especially in honestly male dominated environment right, 80% men in the air force saying it's higher um, and some of the other services.

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<v Speaker 3>And so it's just, it's been, it's really just become a passion for me to work with women to help them reclaim their sovereignty and their power, and because we are pretty powerful, ladies, to be honest.

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<v Speaker 2>Amen, amen, fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>And so, as far as actually getting into neuro encoding and what brought you down that path, if you will, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and so I'll share.

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<v Speaker 3>First, when I came into the neuro encoding community it was also connected with Dr Daniel Amen's brain health community for Amen University and my daughter, when she was six, started having some shall we say emotional outbursts.

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<v Speaker 3>And so, yeah, like cold clocking kids in the face and we're like whoa, what's happening?

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<v Speaker 3>Because she was just such a sweet girl and immediately she just felt remorse and she's like, oh my gosh, what about what happened?

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<v Speaker 3>What'd I do, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>And so we actually took her to Dr Amen's clinic for a brain scan because after a while doctors were like, well, maybe we need to put her on medication for ADHD, things like that.

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<v Speaker 3>And we're like, hold on, let's see what's actually happening and then let's decide, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so, going through that process with her, it was amazing to be able to help her see what's happening in her brain and what was causing that.

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<v Speaker 3>And so, thankfully, when the opportunity came up to get certified with Dr Daniel Eamon, joseph McClendon was also with him with neuro encoding and what we say for that is like the hardware of your brain, that's your brain health, the software, all the things you upload and that consistently run in the background, that's the neuro encoding side Right, and so, like you and I are working on that with people is to really help them to tell a bigger and better story, a more true story of who they are and how they are in the world, so they can step into their true power.

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<v Speaker 2>Fantastic and just default back to their best self.

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<v Speaker 2>Love it, absolutely love it, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So what we're going to?

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to dive into our main topic, but again, I just want people to know a little bit more about you.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, for people that haven't seen you yet and or haven't heard you on the podcast yet, what inspired you to create Lead Outside the Lines, and that's your company.

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<v Speaker 2>So can you go into that a little bit more specifically?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, I would love to.

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<v Speaker 3>So I've always been the why girl, like, why does that work?

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<v Speaker 3>What's that all about?

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<v Speaker 3>Right, for those of us that are veterans, we realize that's not always encouraged in the military right, and so I've traversed through my career in a way that is a little bit different than most people, and it's on whatever your definition of success is.

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<v Speaker 3>My definition is that my career has been successful, and but there were times where I didn't feel like I was truly being true to myself completely, that I felt like I was like oh, I have in this box to be accepted.

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<v Speaker 3>That wasn't the case.

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<v Speaker 3>As I look back on my career, the most successful moments, the times that I was able to lead teams at an even better moments, the times that I was able to lead teams at an even better, you know, higher elevated opportunities was when I was outside the lines, right Right, when it was like no, I'm not keeping myself in this little box and I don't want you to either.

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<v Speaker 3>I wanted to create a space where people could bring their truth, their authenticity, their great, crazy ideas right and throw them out there, and so that led actually to some really amazing opportunities in my career, one of them, which was what I guess.

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<v Speaker 3>The catalyst that really spawned Lead Outside the Lines was working with AFWERX, the Air Force Innovation Catalyst, and we were charged with doing it different, right?

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<v Speaker 3>The whole question around it was what do we not know?

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<v Speaker 3>That we don't know?

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<v Speaker 3>That's amazing, right, and that's one of the biggest parts, too, about like neuroencoding and really being defaulting to our best selves is asking generative questions, getting out of the judgment that we find ourselves in a lot, and that takes being inside the lines.

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<v Speaker 3>The judgment keeps you in a box, asking generative questions like I don't know what, I don't know what's out there, who can help me.

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<v Speaker 3>Those are the kinds of things that break open these boxes, that keep us stuck and playing small, and that's really where Lead Outside the Lines came from.

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<v Speaker 2>I absolutely love it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's an amazing, just beautiful story.

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<v Speaker 2>It really is.

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<v Speaker 2>And can I just add, you know number one, Tina Parker's here we broke outside the box, we were playing with Tina Parker, but you know, honestly, how many amazing breakthroughs in the world were because someone was crazy.

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<v Speaker 3>Other people were like are you insane, Are you nuts?

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<v Speaker 2>And then it became the norm right, get uncomfortable, be comfortable.

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<v Speaker 2>So amen, I love it, I absolutely love it.

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<v Speaker 2>So what are some common challenges that we're going to dive in here?

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<v Speaker 2>What are some common challenges that women face, if you will, in the military, that you've seen, and how can your practices bring them forward?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, I think one of the biggest things first is to shine a light on truth, and what I mean by that is in the military, especially in it's everywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>It's in corporate, it's like, so this is not relegated just to the military, but when we think about the military environment, it's very structured, right, and for women, we want the structure.

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<v Speaker 3>We need the structure.

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<v Speaker 3>We also need to be creative and to be able to think and be collaborative and pull people in.

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<v Speaker 3>Men do that too.

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<v Speaker 3>We just do it differently.

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<v Speaker 3>And one of the things that I want to share about that is, like the research shows, women actually need to be 85 percent sure that I'm ready for this next challenge, to go for it, right, men, 15%, and it's.

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<v Speaker 3>This is like over hundreds of thousands of of coaching, coaching women not me, but like some of the people I've worked with, um, I've I've coached a couple of hundred people I've worked with have coached hundreds of thousands right, and they showed they're like the research shows 85% certainty for women, 15% certainty for men.

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<v Speaker 3>So if we talk about like, why are women holding themselves back?

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<v Speaker 3>Why don't they just go for it?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, there's this natural wiring in us that's different, right?

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<v Speaker 3>So where I might be like I need a PhD in order to go coach people in this thing.

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<v Speaker 3>A guy might go yeah, I watched a 30 minute YouTube video.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm good, I got it Right, and so that's just one difference.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm laughing because it's so true.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, in case in point, my husband and I we we before we were married and we still got married, so this is a good thing.

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<v Speaker 3>We decided we were going to renovate our house, right, and we wanted to redo the staircase with these wrought iron balusters just make it all beautiful.

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<v Speaker 3>And here I am like okay, let's hire a guy to come in and do that.

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<v Speaker 3>My husband's like no, I'll watch a YouTube video, we'll do it, 'll figure it out.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like are you, are you sure?

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<v Speaker 3>He's like yeah, I'm good, it's totally good, we did it, we did it together.

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<v Speaker 3>We didn't kill each other, right?

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<v Speaker 3>But I would never think that.

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<v Speaker 2>So so as far as oh, sorry, go ahead.

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<v Speaker 3>That's just one difference.

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<v Speaker 2>There's many.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, please continue.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I mean even to the point where to like, um, fixed mindset right, and this goes really towards what we're talking about with neuro encoding, how our thoughts create our reality, and what I mean by.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't mean like fixed mindset where we're not open to ideas.

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<v Speaker 3>That is absolutely true for women we are.

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<v Speaker 3>What happens is we make fixed meaning about things that happen in our lives and we make it mean something about us, whereas most of the time men don't do this.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, 20% of the time men do this, 80% of the time women do this.

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<v Speaker 3>So, case in point I don't get a job, right, I go after a promotion and I don't get it.

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<v Speaker 3>Me, as a woman, I have a greater propensity to make that mean I'm not good enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm not supposed to be in a position like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Men, they go okay, what's the next opportunity?

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<v Speaker 3>Like it's very different, right?

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<v Speaker 3>You see this in politics too.

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<v Speaker 3>A woman runs and she doesn't make it.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't usually see her again.

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<v Speaker 3>Men, you're like dang, he's running again, you know it's true, it's so true.

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<v Speaker 3>So this is something that we get to be aware of, and this is what we talk about in neuroencoding, too.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, being aware of this thought this is what we talk about in neuroencoding, too.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, being aware of this thought that we're having.

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<v Speaker 3>That creates feelings in us.

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<v Speaker 3>Those feelings drive actions that we take or don't take.

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<v Speaker 3>It works the other way around, too Feelings drive thoughts, which drive actions.

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<v Speaker 3>But if we're not aware of what's happening before the action or the inaction, well then we just go oh, I'm lazy or I'm not good, or like we make these meanings about things.

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<v Speaker 3>But it's really important for us to understand, as men, as women, as people, what is that belief?

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<v Speaker 3>What do I really believe about that?

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<v Speaker 3>If I believe that I no longer worthy of that position, that I'm not good enough, that's so deflating and it's going to keep me from stepping in.

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<v Speaker 3>It's going to keep me playing small.

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<v Speaker 2>So question then what neuro-encoding tips, or just tips in general, help you realize?

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<v Speaker 2>That's where you're at.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you've got to literally pause and get curious about what's going on for you.

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<v Speaker 3>And especially in this world and we talk about this in military it's like go, go, go, go, go, go go.

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<v Speaker 3>There's no pause, there's stuff to do, let's go.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, if that's the way that we're operating, all the time we don't even recognize what's happening inside of us and we're just on this autopilot, right?

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<v Speaker 3>And if we're going to stay on autopilot we just said women are 80% more likely to take ourselves out of the game if something doesn't go the way that we wanted it to go, right, because we make it mean something about us.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's so critical to really just pause, take a breath and get curious about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Not judgment, not like God.

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<v Speaker 3>Why did I do that again?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, that's just going to keep you stuck in in your shell.

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<v Speaker 3>But as kids, we were curious, right, the why?

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<v Speaker 3>People were like why is that like that, right?

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<v Speaker 3>So if you can change the way that you ask the question, huh, I wonder why I'm here again.

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<v Speaker 3>What happened with that?

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<v Speaker 3>And you just get curious about it.

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<v Speaker 3>What was I feeling?

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<v Speaker 3>What was I thinking?

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<v Speaker 3>And then you can shift that.

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<v Speaker 3>But you can't shift what you can't see, right.

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<v Speaker 3>So you've got to make the invisible visible yeah, curious, not critical and you're absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>Once you step, you know your integrity right, so you know when something's off, you know when something's wrong man or woman.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely both can can feel it.

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<v Speaker 2>You can tell when you're out of integrity and then be curious, not critical.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, absolutely love that fantastic tina.

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<v Speaker 2>So before I forget because I did already, from the top right hand corner there's a blue q code.

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<v Speaker 2>Tina's going to give three tips, so hang around until the end.

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<v Speaker 2>Scan the QR code for all kinds of resources for veterans.

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<v Speaker 2>There are some books that I've written that are absolutely free resources.

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<v Speaker 2>We have two Facebook groups for veterans and their families.

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<v Speaker 2>Please check that out, be part of our community and let's move on.

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<v Speaker 3>Come into the community.

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<v Speaker 3>Come into the community, come into the water it feels great.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what, especially for veterans.

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<v Speaker 2>We know it's so important to be part of that community, especially a positive community that helps work through things and is there for you, so it's super important.

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<v Speaker 3>We have to have community.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to mention something about that real quick, because what you're creating here for veterans is so powerful and it's so needed, because one of there are three major things that hold women back.

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<v Speaker 3>And what's fascinating I think you know I talked about this earlier what's fascinating is when I really learned, like what are those three things and how they show up for women.

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<v Speaker 3>They're the same three things that hold, they show up for women.

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<v Speaker 3>They're the same three things that hold back veterans and first responders and people that are in this environment.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe they just for different reasons?

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<v Speaker 3>Right, they're the same three things.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a mindset of scarcity, lack and isolation.

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<v Speaker 3>And when I go into details, please yeah for.

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<v Speaker 3>Because.

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<v Speaker 3>So let's start with.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's start with lack, right.

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<v Speaker 3>So, first of all, lack is like there's I, I don't have what it takes Right, or I can't ask for help.

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<v Speaker 3>I lack something, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so when we feel like we lack something, if we are in an environment that it doesn't feel safe to say I need help, if we are in an environment that it doesn't feel safe to say I need help hey, can you help me out here?

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<v Speaker 3>What's going on with that?

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<v Speaker 3>Or ask questions like we have.

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<v Speaker 3>We have to have the answers, we have to know Right.

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<v Speaker 3>Then it feels like we lack something.

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<v Speaker 3>We stop trusting ourselves, right, and so that's one of the things.

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<v Speaker 3>The next thing is scarcity, and women have this and veterans have this, and I will say I know people veterans who have not applied for their VA benefits because they're like, well, there's only so much to go around and take from someone else.

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<v Speaker 3>There is no scarcity there, right.

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<v Speaker 3>We create this idea of there's not enough, so I'm not going to go and be a part of it, I'm going to leave it for other people, or there's not enough for me to get, so I'm not even going to get in the game.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I ask you to dive deeper into that?

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<v Speaker 2>Why do you think that?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so it comes from a noble place.

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<v Speaker 3>It really does Right, and that.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you for asking that, because that's such a key thing.

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<v Speaker 3>Even the folks that I know who have not until we switched the narrative gone and applied for their VA benefits, it's really because they're like hey, I'm not that bad, somebody else has it worse than me.

00:17:20.546 --> 00:17:23.452
<v Speaker 3>I want to make sure they have access to what they need.

00:17:23.452 --> 00:17:25.805
<v Speaker 3>Great, it's a wonderful, noble idea.

00:17:25.805 --> 00:17:31.286
<v Speaker 3>The difference there, though, is, especially like with VA benefits it's supply and demand.

00:17:31.286 --> 00:17:35.685
<v Speaker 3>If the demand is not there, the supply goes down right.

00:17:35.685 --> 00:17:42.169
<v Speaker 3>So if there aren't enough people saying I need this, I need this, I need this Well, what's out there does become more scarce.

00:17:42.169 --> 00:17:43.632
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, thank you.

00:17:43.632 --> 00:18:00.551
<v Speaker 3>So and that's that was such a shift, and I sat with some folks that process VA benefits and that I worked with in the reserve as well, and they helped me to understand that, which and I shared that with folks who were like no, no, I won't do the benefits the minute they understood that they're like okay, I'm going to go straight up.

00:18:00.551 --> 00:18:04.436
<v Speaker 3>Right, so it comes from the same place of I want there to be enough for everybody.

00:18:04.436 --> 00:18:10.147
<v Speaker 3>So it's not a bad place to come from thinking that.

00:18:10.147 --> 00:18:15.155
<v Speaker 3>But we create more scarcity by thinking in scarcity mindset.

00:18:16.561 --> 00:18:18.509
<v Speaker 3>And then the third part is isolation.

00:18:18.509 --> 00:18:34.069
<v Speaker 3>When we don't feel like we can ask for help, when we don't want to be seen as weak, right, or we don't feel like, okay, there's not enough to go around, I'm just going to move back here, we start to isolate ourselves and in that isolation it's a downward spiral.

00:18:34.069 --> 00:18:36.253
<v Speaker 3>That's when depression sets in.

00:18:36.253 --> 00:18:42.413
<v Speaker 3>That's when the lack gets even more deep, gets even deeper, our sense of scarcity gets even deeper.

00:18:42.413 --> 00:18:45.707
<v Speaker 3>So we put ourselves in a downward spiral.

00:18:45.707 --> 00:18:48.773
<v Speaker 3>But we can shift it into an upward spiral.

00:18:48.773 --> 00:18:52.262
<v Speaker 3>We just need to be conscious of how those things are showing up for us.

00:18:52.865 --> 00:18:55.053
<v Speaker 2>Amen, and thank you so much for bringing that stuff up.

00:18:55.053 --> 00:19:07.820
<v Speaker 2>I you know I'm connected with multiple people, with the VA, through LinkedIn and so on, and they say the same exact thing If you don't use it, it's just like you go to Walmart People stop buying something, they stop selling it.

00:19:08.301 --> 00:19:08.663
<v Speaker 3>Exactly.

00:19:08.663 --> 00:19:10.987
<v Speaker 3>They're not going to stock the shelves if no one's going to get it.

00:19:11.428 --> 00:19:12.930
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just simple as that.

00:19:12.930 --> 00:19:19.348
<v Speaker 2>So if they don't see it and it's not out there, you know people use it.

00:19:19.348 --> 00:19:22.340
<v Speaker 2>It's there for you, you earned it Right.

00:19:22.340 --> 00:19:23.683
<v Speaker 2>So please.

00:19:23.683 --> 00:19:27.351
<v Speaker 2>Okay, thank you again for that information.

00:19:27.351 --> 00:19:30.446
<v Speaker 2>So let's let's get back to to, to our amazing women.

00:19:30.446 --> 00:19:34.023
<v Speaker 2>So, in your experience, what role does authenticity?

00:19:34.023 --> 00:19:44.999
<v Speaker 2>I know this is a big one for you, I know see your eyes got big and everything play in a successful transition from military to civilian careers for women veterans specifically, please.

00:19:45.560 --> 00:19:55.483
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, authenticity is so critical and I know, especially this year, it's kind of become a buzzword, right, so let's talk about what it actually means.

00:19:55.483 --> 00:20:01.489
<v Speaker 3>Right, it means being true to who we are, sharing our gifts.

00:20:01.489 --> 00:20:28.986
<v Speaker 3>Right, every, every single one of us has unique gifts within us gifts within us, and being authentic means being exactly who I am and you being exactly who you are, right, and so part of the issue that happens, especially with women transitioning and this is conditioning for all veterans, but women specifically get hit with this is who actually am I coming out of the military?

00:20:28.986 --> 00:20:31.150
<v Speaker 3>Right, we are so conditioned to.

00:20:31.150 --> 00:20:33.795
<v Speaker 3>The uniform has specific expectations.

00:20:33.795 --> 00:20:48.354
<v Speaker 3>Being in a specific service has certain expectations, and, like, I even remember when I was second year so I was a lieutenant and I had an encounter with one of my airmen who I needed to help.

00:20:48.440 --> 00:21:00.051
<v Speaker 3>I needed to help him step up because he was kind of slipping, and so we had a conversation, and my first sergeant was in there with me Beautiful man, amazing man, who just loved everyone and wanted to elevate everyone.

00:21:00.051 --> 00:21:10.460
<v Speaker 3>What happened, though, in that moment is, as my airman is sharing with me what he's going through, my eyes start tearing up because I'm like man, I feel you, right.

00:21:10.460 --> 00:21:18.248
<v Speaker 3>That didn't mean that I wasn't going to hold him accountable by any stretch, right, but I could feel what he was feeling and so we had the conversation he left.

00:21:18.248 --> 00:21:22.582
<v Speaker 3>My first surgeon says to me he goes, man, you can't show emotion like that.

00:21:22.582 --> 00:21:24.505
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, what do you mean?

00:21:24.505 --> 00:21:26.807
<v Speaker 3>And he goes, they're going to take advantage of you.

00:21:26.807 --> 00:21:32.215
<v Speaker 3>You need to be able to just have that face on and those emotions you can handle somewhere else.

00:21:32.215 --> 00:21:38.053
<v Speaker 3>And I want to share that, because he never meant anything derogatory by that.

00:21:38.053 --> 00:21:42.632
<v Speaker 3>He was literally trying to help me be the very best officer I could be.

00:21:42.632 --> 00:21:45.366
<v Speaker 3>My meaning, right?

00:21:45.366 --> 00:22:01.240
<v Speaker 3>Women's fixed meaning was well, I guess I can't show emotion, don't be me, because if I'm me, I'm too soft, right.

00:22:01.260 --> 00:22:02.846
<v Speaker 3>And so you imagine, fast forward 20 years when I'm coming out of the service.

00:22:02.846 --> 00:22:03.227
<v Speaker 3>That's still there.

00:22:03.227 --> 00:22:04.530
<v Speaker 3>How do I remember that so clearly?

00:22:04.530 --> 00:22:08.445
<v Speaker 3>It's because that was not aligned with who I truly am.

00:22:08.445 --> 00:22:15.208
<v Speaker 3>I am perfectly fine showing emotion and still holding your feet to the fire like no issues with that whatsoever, right.

00:22:15.208 --> 00:22:21.626
<v Speaker 3>But the deal was it really kept separating me from who I really am.

00:22:21.626 --> 00:22:27.242
<v Speaker 3>Over time, I actually lost touch with what's my body trying to tell me.

00:22:27.242 --> 00:22:29.146
<v Speaker 3>What are my emotions trying to tell me.

00:22:29.146 --> 00:22:34.788
<v Speaker 3>And that's what happens over time when we are not authentic to who we are.

00:22:34.788 --> 00:22:46.731
<v Speaker 3>So when we transition back into the regular world right outside of the military, we're not in that structure anymore and we're left going who am I really and where do I fit?

00:22:46.731 --> 00:22:48.527
<v Speaker 3>And is this how I show up?

00:22:48.527 --> 00:22:50.207
<v Speaker 3>Or was that part of the conditioning?

00:22:50.207 --> 00:22:59.954
<v Speaker 3>And so it's like kind of peeling the onion back as we transition into our chosen life outside of service.

00:22:59.954 --> 00:23:04.151
<v Speaker 3>Right, we're outside of the uniform because a lot of us still serve, just in a different way.

00:23:04.800 --> 00:23:05.281
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

00:23:05.402 --> 00:23:05.663
<v Speaker 3>Right.

00:23:05.722 --> 00:23:06.545
<v Speaker 2>And.

00:23:06.545 --> 00:23:16.650
<v Speaker 2>I think most, most veterans want to serve and have a purpose and that's how they don't go backwards, that's how they move forward and it's super important to both of us.

00:23:16.650 --> 00:23:17.153
<v Speaker 2>I know that.

00:23:17.816 --> 00:23:19.722
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, the purpose is everything.

00:23:20.345 --> 00:23:22.550
<v Speaker 2>It is, it truly is, it truly is.

00:23:22.550 --> 00:23:37.497
<v Speaker 2>So how can women veterans leverage their military experience when they retire for moving forward in life and life and business, whatever the case or whatever calls to them, if you will.

00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:52.523
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, one of the things that I want to just shine a light on is in the military in general, and then as women, we have another layer on top of this is we're just doing our job right, we're just in there.

00:23:52.523 --> 00:23:54.087
<v Speaker 3>We're like, oh, that's the next thing.

00:23:54.087 --> 00:23:56.422
<v Speaker 3>Here's where I was positioned.

00:23:56.422 --> 00:24:00.251
<v Speaker 3>I don't have a choice, I just suck it up and do the work, right.

00:24:00.251 --> 00:24:15.123
<v Speaker 3>Well, coming out of the military, we can sometimes not understand how to connect the amazing work we've done in that environment with the outside world, so to speak, right With the world outside of the military.

00:24:15.123 --> 00:24:26.661
<v Speaker 3>And it's not even just I don't have the language to explain what I did in the military and transition it or translate it to corporate or to the civilian world.

00:24:26.661 --> 00:24:40.520
<v Speaker 3>A lot of it comes from, it stems from before that, even recognizing what we've done and we're so service before self, right, we don't, we don't want to be boastful or anything else.

00:24:40.520 --> 00:24:42.183
<v Speaker 3>We're just like, yeah, yeah, I just did my job.

00:24:42.183 --> 00:24:47.682
<v Speaker 3>No, what you did was incredible and I will share.

00:24:47.722 --> 00:25:00.621
<v Speaker 3>Like, even when I left active duty after seven years I think I shared this before I wanted to work for Center for Creative Leadership Like I was excited and then I walked into that lobby and I was a captain right Seven years active duty.

00:25:00.621 --> 00:25:03.587
<v Speaker 3>I didn't have my master's and have any of that yet.

00:25:03.587 --> 00:25:10.864
<v Speaker 3>But I walk into the lobby and I see all these PhDs up on the wall for the people that work there and I walked out, I left.

00:25:10.864 --> 00:25:13.645
<v Speaker 3>I didn't even ask like how do I work here?

00:25:13.645 --> 00:25:18.308
<v Speaker 3>Because I took myself out of the game I talked about.

00:25:18.308 --> 00:25:21.191
<v Speaker 3>Like I don't have those credentials, I'm not that good.

00:25:21.191 --> 00:25:41.200
<v Speaker 3>Now, keep in mind, I just left my position as the commander of the field training flight at air force basic military training, where we I led a team of 70 all male drill sergeants to overhaul the whole way that air force basic training trained for 17 years.

00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:45.528
<v Speaker 3>I didn't know that's what was going to happen, but that's what I was coming out of.

00:25:46.069 --> 00:25:46.289
<v Speaker 2>Right.

00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:48.304
<v Speaker 3>But I was just doing my job.

00:25:48.304 --> 00:25:49.567
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

00:25:49.567 --> 00:25:51.211
<v Speaker 3>I don't have anything to really bring.

00:25:51.211 --> 00:25:52.021
<v Speaker 3>They have a PhD.

00:25:52.021 --> 00:25:53.285
<v Speaker 3>What do I have Right?

00:25:53.285 --> 00:26:00.905
<v Speaker 3>This is where we cancel ourselves out, and as women, we do it even more than men do.

00:26:00.905 --> 00:26:01.907
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

00:26:02.568 --> 00:26:05.034
<v Speaker 2>So thank you for sharing that.

00:26:05.034 --> 00:26:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Um so what?

00:26:07.040 --> 00:26:11.146
<v Speaker 2>And we're getting low on time, as as usual, enough time.

00:26:11.146 --> 00:26:22.749
<v Speaker 2>Um so, ways to flip that switch, because I think that's the key to all of it, right?

00:26:22.749 --> 00:26:24.872
<v Speaker 2>Is we realize it?

00:26:24.872 --> 00:26:26.701
<v Speaker 2>It's like hold on, why was I playing small?

00:26:26.701 --> 00:26:28.507
<v Speaker 2>I'm better than this, I.

00:26:28.507 --> 00:26:30.132
<v Speaker 2>How do we flip the switch?

00:26:31.820 --> 00:26:59.791
<v Speaker 3>It's really connecting to our worth and that's what a lot of what neuroencoding does for people, right, the tools and techniques that you and I use, that our neuroencoding family uses, that we bring from other modalities as well, is really being able to be comfortable in our own skin and see our gifts and recognize our worth, love ourselves, like this whole notion of love yourself.

00:26:59.791 --> 00:27:03.467
<v Speaker 3>You say that in the military people are like, uh, did you smoke up last night?

00:27:03.467 --> 00:27:04.087
<v Speaker 3>Like what are you doing?

00:27:04.087 --> 00:27:07.323
<v Speaker 3>You know, and so we.

00:27:07.323 --> 00:27:15.655
<v Speaker 3>But we get to connect to who we are and shine our light and know that our worth is worthy.

00:27:15.655 --> 00:27:24.526
<v Speaker 3>We are worthy, right, we bring things to the table that people need, and that doesn't mean that everyone has to recognize it.

00:27:24.526 --> 00:27:29.084
<v Speaker 3>We get to recognize it and it's.

00:27:29.084 --> 00:27:30.973
<v Speaker 3>It can be a journey for a lot of people.

00:27:31.255 --> 00:27:40.508
<v Speaker 3>Like I shared with you before, it took me a while to do one of the techniques that we do in neuro encoding, looking myself in the eye in the mirror and saying, tina, I love you.

00:27:40.508 --> 00:27:50.872
<v Speaker 3>At first I was like just feel so weird, right, but the more you do it and I was like, no, I'm pretty badass.

00:27:50.872 --> 00:27:55.766
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I do love myself, right, and that's not being boastful or confident.

00:27:55.826 --> 00:28:00.803
<v Speaker 2>It's literally like I see my worth yeah, when you look yourself in the mirror.

00:28:00.803 --> 00:28:02.407
<v Speaker 2>I've got chills just thinking about it.

00:28:02.407 --> 00:28:06.267
<v Speaker 2>So when you look at yourself in the mirror, uh, this is called the mirror exercise.

00:28:06.267 --> 00:28:09.804
<v Speaker 2>For anyone that isn't aware or hasn't heard us talk about on the show before, etc.

00:28:09.804 --> 00:28:15.540
<v Speaker 2>Number one it is one of the most difficult exercises that I teach people to do.

00:28:15.540 --> 00:28:21.002
<v Speaker 2>Until it's not difficult anymore, get uncomfortable, get comfortable and then it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

00:28:21.002 --> 00:28:26.044
<v Speaker 2>You just you're looking at yourself in your eyes, you smile and you say your name and I love you.

00:28:26.044 --> 00:28:32.026
<v Speaker 2>And when you do it and you look yourself in the eyes, you feel it in your soul and that's it.

00:28:32.066 --> 00:28:38.086
<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's not just checking the box Right and this goes back to lead outside the lines to stop checking the box.

00:28:38.086 --> 00:28:41.779
<v Speaker 3>You can stand there and say I love you and go on and brush teeth.

00:28:41.779 --> 00:28:50.272
<v Speaker 3>Or you can look yourself in the eye and really see into your soul and say, oh, you're a badass, I love you.

00:28:50.272 --> 00:28:52.075
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that is very different.

00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:59.943
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and and anyone that is wants to take an action right now or as soon as we're done in a couple of minutes, don't do it right now.

00:28:59.943 --> 00:29:00.346
<v Speaker 2>Stay here.

00:29:00.346 --> 00:29:05.782
<v Speaker 2>Tina's going to give us three tips Take the action and go do it.

00:29:05.782 --> 00:29:08.489
<v Speaker 2>It's a life changer, I'm not joking.

00:29:08.869 --> 00:29:09.211
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

00:29:09.892 --> 00:29:10.512
<v Speaker 2>I'm not joking.

00:29:10.512 --> 00:29:12.770
<v Speaker 2>Be there for yourself for 10 seconds.

00:29:12.770 --> 00:29:16.367
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely Be there for yourself for 10 seconds.

00:29:17.540 --> 00:29:23.993
<v Speaker 3>Let that sink in, literally Be there for yourself for 10 seconds.

00:29:23.993 --> 00:29:25.440
<v Speaker 3>That's it.

00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:29.169
<v Speaker 3>It's not a big lift, it's not, it's 10 seconds.

00:29:29.409 --> 00:29:30.531
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:30.531 --> 00:29:32.547
<v Speaker 2>So now we are out of time.

00:29:34.063 --> 00:29:34.766
<v Speaker 3>Now we're at the end.

00:29:35.180 --> 00:29:38.847
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, now we're going to be past the end, but you know we own the place, that's okay.

00:29:38.847 --> 00:29:41.509
<v Speaker 2>So thank you, tina, as always.

00:29:41.509 --> 00:29:43.888
<v Speaker 2>So, first of all, how do you reach Tina Parker?

00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:49.903
<v Speaker 3>Yes, so I'm on LinkedIn Tina Parker or TP sunshine, however it comes up.

00:29:49.903 --> 00:30:02.132
<v Speaker 3>You can go to my website, lead outside the linescom and I'd love to connect with any and each of you because and Michael too, I mean seriously reach out to Michael If you're in transition.

00:30:02.132 --> 00:30:03.633
<v Speaker 3>Michael's fantastic.

00:30:04.232 --> 00:30:10.357
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, thank you and Tina Parker, we love you to death, and anybody that doesn't doesn't know you yet.

00:30:11.781 --> 00:30:19.246
<v Speaker 3>That's all I'm saying, and you and I are doing some things, together with some other amazing people to serve veterans and first responders too.

00:30:19.246 --> 00:30:20.028
<v Speaker 3>So more to come.

00:30:20.548 --> 00:30:21.672
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely Teaser.

00:30:21.672 --> 00:30:24.105
<v Speaker 2>Look for that soon.

00:30:24.105 --> 00:30:28.003
<v Speaker 2>Event in Chicago most likely, so anyway.

00:30:28.003 --> 00:30:31.391
<v Speaker 2>So if you can, let's do our three tips.

00:30:31.391 --> 00:30:33.987
<v Speaker 2>Sure, To get veterans and their families further fast.

00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:36.063
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I would literally.

00:30:36.063 --> 00:30:45.130
<v Speaker 3>My three tips are pause, notice, choose, because, like we said, we're in go go, go mode all the time.

00:30:45.130 --> 00:30:52.113
<v Speaker 3>Right, take a breath, take those 10 seconds, look yourself in the mirror and just pause and go.

00:30:52.113 --> 00:30:53.563
<v Speaker 3>What is what am I feeling?

00:30:53.563 --> 00:30:56.369
<v Speaker 3>Your body tries to tell you things, right, and we go.

00:30:56.369 --> 00:30:57.760
<v Speaker 3>Your head goes, shut up.

00:30:57.760 --> 00:30:59.384
<v Speaker 3>I got stuff to do, right?

00:30:59.384 --> 00:31:05.463
<v Speaker 3>Pause and listen to what you're trying to be shown and then notice, okay, what's going on for me.

00:31:05.463 --> 00:31:08.990
<v Speaker 3>Is that really what I want to be creating in this situation?

00:31:08.990 --> 00:31:12.422
<v Speaker 3>Right, and then choose how you want to move forward.

00:31:12.422 --> 00:31:16.931
<v Speaker 3>Get off of autopilot and make a choice that serves you.

00:31:17.893 --> 00:31:19.922
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic, absolutely fantastic.

00:31:19.922 --> 00:31:28.605
<v Speaker 2>So, as always, I just want to you know, thank you, I'm most precious resource we have as human beings.

00:31:28.605 --> 00:31:30.647
<v Speaker 2>We don't get it back ever.

00:31:31.830 --> 00:31:38.810
<v Speaker 3>So hopefully these 31, two minutes since we went over have been helpful for folks.

00:31:38.911 --> 00:31:40.857
<v Speaker 2>Truly honored to always have you on the show.

00:31:40.857 --> 00:31:44.868
<v Speaker 2>You're an amazing, light, amazing person and I'm proud to know you as a friend.

00:31:44.868 --> 00:31:45.711
<v Speaker 2>So thank you so much.

00:31:46.601 --> 00:31:47.445
<v Speaker 3>Same, my friend.

00:31:47.445 --> 00:31:48.593
<v Speaker 3>Thanks so much, till next time.

00:31:49.357 --> 00:31:50.542
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, we'll schedule.

00:31:50.542 --> 00:31:51.625
<v Speaker 2>Get off here in just a second.

00:31:51.625 --> 00:31:52.228
<v Speaker 2>We'll do that.

00:31:52.228 --> 00:31:53.171
<v Speaker 2>Sounds good.

00:31:53.171 --> 00:31:56.308
<v Speaker 2>I just want to drop a note.

00:31:56.308 --> 00:32:00.692
<v Speaker 2>Next Thursday we have Joseph Lippenden III coming on the show.

00:32:00.692 --> 00:32:02.786
<v Speaker 2>He is our mentor.

00:32:02.786 --> 00:32:06.410
<v Speaker 2>He is Tony Robbins' business partner, speaks on stages.

00:32:06.410 --> 00:32:07.941
<v Speaker 2>He is the founder of Neuron Coding.

00:32:07.941 --> 00:32:10.242
<v Speaker 2>It's going to be a fantastic show.

00:32:10.242 --> 00:32:12.184
<v Speaker 2>So just wanted to drop another teaser.

00:32:12.184 --> 00:32:13.986
<v Speaker 2>Please join us.

00:32:13.986 --> 00:32:17.148
<v Speaker 2>Please join us for that, and on that we are out of here.

00:32:20.832 --> 00:32:27.297
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.

00:32:27.297 --> 00:32:30.941
<v Speaker 1>We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.

00:32:30.941 --> 00:32:37.905
<v Speaker 1>To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.

00:32:37.905 --> 00:32:42.502
<v Speaker 1>Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.

00:32:42.502 --> 00:32:47.534
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.

00:32:47.534 --> 00:32:49.286
<v Speaker 1>Catch you on the next episode.