“From Survival to Strategy: Owning Your Narrative”

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Speaker 1: Calling all my sweetish to the forefront. I'm your host christ and this is the Keep It Positive Swedish show. Welcome to keep it Positive, Sweete the place where we he'll grow and learn together. Today's guest is a corporate leader, speaker, and now author whose story is rooted in grit, transformation, and the power of owning every part of who you are. I am so glad to be sitting with Tiffany Willis. Tiffany Willis is a CPA Fortune one hundred executive and motivational speaker whose journey is nothing short of extraordinary. From becoming a mother at fourteen and experiencing homelessness to leading at the highest levels of corporate America, including serving as senior vice president at Starbucks, she has built a career and a life defined by resilience, grit, to discipline, and purpose. Now, through her book, Own Your Narrative, she's inviting others to reframe their stories, showing that your struggles are not some thing you have to hide, but something that can shape your strength. Kis solely please give a very warm welcome to now author Tiffany Willis. How are you doing, Tiffany, I'm doing well.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me welcome.

00:01:14
Speaker 1: Yes, No, we're happy to have you today. Your story is so dynamic. When I heard about it, I was like, no, we have to have her on.

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Speaker 2: Oh, thank you. I'm so excited to keep the positive.

00:01:24
Speaker 1: Yes, we're gonna have a good time today. I remember we first met. There was an event that I did with Trey Young and you were There's a lot of executives there from different brands, and you were there when we got to meet. So when Wes was like she wrote a book, I was like, oh, we have to have her on.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.

00:01:40
Speaker 1: Yes. Absolutely. So before we get into everything and talk about your book, I want to play a quick game of rapid fire. This is just to break the ice and then we're going to get into it. Okay, perfect. So the first in it comes to mind your Starbucks order?

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Speaker 2: Oh, my Starbucks order. It would be a ventive Vanela bean frappuccino with caramel wall and heavy caramel drizzle on top, because caramel is a vegetable.

00:02:06
Speaker 1: Why I think I just learned that today. She said caramel wall, So Kramela is.

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Speaker 2: Gonn put it in the cut when it goes around the cuss, I love that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's that's that sounds good? Nice and sweet?

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Speaker 2: Nice and sweet?

00:02:19
Speaker 1: Yes, okay. Do you like a red eye or daytime flight?

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Speaker 2: A red eye?

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Speaker 1: Me too? I love it, especially coming from La.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're still productive all day?

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Speaker 1: Yes exactly.

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Speaker 2: Heels are sneakers, oh, sneakers, especially chucks?

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Speaker 1: Okays, yes, there you go. What's your I need a moment ritual.

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Speaker 2: I need a moment ritual. Would have to be listening to Beyonce.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you're my kind of girl. All right, we are here. I love it. What's a small thing that brings you joy?

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Speaker 2: A small thing that brings me joy? Probably fresh air, right because it's just quiet, it's open, you can just walk, So I think the fresh air really brings me like that joy that.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, do you like Have you checked out the trails here in Georgia? The walking trail a little bit?

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Speaker 2: But right now you can't go out because it's all the polling.

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Speaker 1: Baby. I literally just did some signus drops before we started this interview, because every like five minutes, I'm like, am I about to sneeze? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like rainy lemon pepper out here right now?

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Speaker 1: That's on Instagram where somebody said this is what happened to your cars to night and it was a guy with lemon pepper. Yes, yes, exactly, literally, that is what's happening. Well, I'm super excited to have you here today. We were talking about your new book, Own Your Narrative. I feel like that has been a mantra of yours throughout your life. Let me know why. Now you decided to write a book about it, and that was the title because I feel like that has kind of been something that's driven your entire life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so for me, Own your Narrative was very easy to select as my book because I always do speaking engagements and it's all about owning your narrative. And so my whole mantra is I cannot celebrate my success without acknowledging my scars, and that essence is the crutch of owning your narrative. Whatever your journey is, whatever your past is, you got to own it. And so that, in essence, became the title of the book.

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Speaker 1: I love that. That's so good. In your book, you say the window seal was my refrigerator. Yes, let's talk about that. I want to go back to when you think about that version of Tiffany. What did survival look like on that particular day?

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Speaker 2: What did survival look like on that particular day? Survival was really just putting one foot in front of the other. But I would say even that moment of Tiffany and putting one foot in front of the other is still the same Tiffany today. Come on, ye right, the challenges could be different, but you're still just trying to get through the day sometimes. And so the window seal as refrigerator was because I didn't have a refrigerator. I couldn't afford one. I was just happy not to be homeless anymore, and so being able to put my son's milk on a window seal just to keep it cold to me. Other people probably thought it was poverty. For me, it was actually progress, right, And so I would just say that that moment of a Tiffany is still the same moment today. It's just those steps are different. They represent different things.

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Speaker 1: People see you now as it's executive, this woman who has made it, but your story when people read it, I'm excited for people to tive into your book because when they read it, like they're going to see themselves in a lot of areas of your life. But I want to take you back to young Tiffany. Yes, how you navigated your life and how you got to this point that you are today, because your story is so phenomenal, it really is. Yes, So let's go back to young Tiffany. What was it like growing up? And like, where did you see yourself as a young girl? Because I know, for me, as a young person, I feel like I already knew. I saw where I was going to be in the future, and you know a lot of times it changes, like twenty times before you actually grow up. But where did young Tiffany see herself going?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So first, what did you want to be when you were younger?

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Speaker 1: I want to be an actor and a singer. Yeah, look at God, Look at God. I want to do it. Yes you will. Yes.

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Speaker 2: So for me, when I was growing up, I would say I was in the all American family. Right. It was the three story home, the two kids, the dog, the white picket fence, the three cars. What people would say was an all American family. And so at that age, I think I had this vision of what success looked like because my father was an engineer, my mother was in community service and politics, and so I thought, and they thought I would grow up to be the mayor or something right, something phenomenal, a doctor. It was just kind of bestowed on me, like you're going to be successful. You have no other options. And so that's how I grew up with the firs and the you know, sun dresses and you know, go into the hair salon with mom on the weekend and having piano lessons and piano recitals. But all that then changed. But my childhood, I would say, was probably just about as good as it could get.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk about that shitt. Yes, you were fourteen years old. I'm assuming that you were raising the church like the family, yeah, which is a huge part of our childhood. And then you find out that you're pregnant. Yes, what was that moment like? First of all, like going to your parents and saying, hey, yeah, you're a kid. Yes, you know, how do you even articulate yourself to say this has happened? I was doing this when I shouldn't have been doing this.

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Speaker 2: Well, I didn't even I didn't even get that opportunity. Maybe it was a blessing and a curse, but I actually went in. I was in track, I was doing cheerleading, and I went in for a regular annual physical with my mother and that's how I found out, Right, just on the regular annual physical. You have to give yourn you got to know do this, and the doctor told her before they told me. Oh, and so that's how I found out I was pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I remember leaving. The first thing my mother said when we left, you're gonna have to tell your father.

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Speaker 1: And what was your relationship relationship like with your father?

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Speaker 2: Oh, it was great, I would say, if you know, people gravitate to one versus the other. I was definitely Daddy's girl. So it was definitely harder to then have to tell my father.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, because you don't want to let him down.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to let him down. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Take us back to that day when you're walking in the house and you're like, Dad, this is what's happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I hadn't even prep yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I didn't even have to walk in the house and tell him. He was traveling at the time. He was Air Force and he was also an engineer, but he was traveling at the time and he had called how was school today, And it was just the regular day. And so I talk about in the book where I said it's fine, yeah, and because we were so close, he's like, something sounds off, yeah, like was school really okay? And then I went ahead and answered and said, well, yeah, but dad, I'm pregnant. And so I talk about in the book how that moment was almost like just a drop of the floor because he's like, wait, wait, I did I hear you correctly? And then it would go silent, and I talk about that in the book, like that moment of silence that felt like eternity to the point where I'm saying hello, hello, realizing he actually hung up.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she's probably in disbelief, like not my baby, right.

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Speaker 2: Because here I am, this child of someone that's a mother always in the community, a father that is very much analytical, and you know, they're both considered very successful, so you're supposed to have successful children and to them, of course, like as we grow up, that is not what is allowed. Yeah, And so overnight I went from this all American white picket fence type of household and upbringing to now the floor dropping from under me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my goodness. I couldn't imagine, like one. My dad is like one of my best friends, so like me having no, like I can't imagine like how you look and revere your father and then hello, hello, yeah, and he's hung up the phone.

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Speaker 2: Heartbreaking at that age, right, you're you're not used to getting hung up on no, right, but you don't hang up on people at that age. So it was new to me. I think that was the very first time. Yes, And then it took a while to be able to articulate like what happened, because back then you're thinking, oh, maybe the phone cut off, right, maybe something happened. You don't realize No, no, you got hung.

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Speaker 1: Up on yeah, Oh my goodness, that my goodness. So then that kind of what happened after that? Did they just push you away? Or you're fourteen?

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Speaker 2: Yes? So my mother gave me two options, and so option one, which was right, and being that you're growing up in the church, you're not supposed to show that you're even pregnant, so it was don't worry, you don't have to have the baby.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So that was option one, and I said, well, I don't want to do that, and so then she went into like, Okay, what's next. You can go away, you'll have the baby and then you'll come back, right, So it's almost like you go live with an aunt and then you come back. And I think that was part normal back in the day where that's what people did and they gave their kid up for adoption. And I said, I didn't want to do that either. Yeah, but those are my options. Do you want a or do you want to be there is no c And so when I didn't want either option, my mother being in community service and being very tied into then helping foster children, which was very interesting. Now I'm able to reflect as I write and reflect that, I think her reaction wasn't necessarily for lack of empathy for me. I think it was because maybe she felt like, here, I am trying to help everybody else's children and my own needed me and I wasn't here. Yeah, and so I think she just went into kind of like fix it mood?

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Speaker 1: What a mother? Now? Looking back, you are a mother? Now, what would you do in that situation if you're was fourteen years old?

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Speaker 2: And yeah, being that I lived the experience, of course, you're like, how this happened? Which that question that you asked someone is like not the question because it's like you don't want to know the answer, right right, You're like, yeah, I know how you know what I got exactly. Yeah, but going through the journey, I would definitely be one hundred and ten percent supportive, right, I say everybody has different circumstances, challenges, obstacles. I wouldn't dere go as far as to call it a mistake. Yeah, but those challenges, those obstacles are going to look different for everyone, and there's gonna happen different times in people's lives. That just happened to be my obstacle, Yeah for sure, So knowing how I got through it, I would definitely be there to support my daughter or whoever else would be in that situation. Yea, which is what I try and do outside.

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Speaker 1: Of work for sure. As an adult now, I know a lot of us we deal with the childhood residue that rises up that we feel like we may have suppressed. Was there anything that you saw that maybe had showed up from your childhood where there was a band or the embarrassment that you may have caused your family, Did anything kind of creep in as you became an adult and you're like, where is this coming? From and it stemmed back from that moment.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so I think there's a lot. I don't think you ever really lose your childhood.

00:13:16
Speaker 1: No, that inner child is always there, the good.

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Speaker 2: Memories as well as what people would call childhood trauma. I think it sticks with you unless you address it head on. And so for me, I do see elements that will pop through, especially even today, and I have to actually acknowledge it. There was one example that I remember when I finally got to Corporate America and there was a pizza party. Yeah, and at the pizza party, everyone's getting pizza, they're getting salad, they're sitting out at the longboard tables and they're having conversation. And I remember someone standing over a pizza box and pointing to the pizza box saying like, who keeps doing this right? And so a couple people that was over there, they started like laughing. Couple people sitting down were laughing because they knew what they were pointing at, and it didn't dawn on me. I'm like, okay, I missed the joke. What they were pointing at was someone was cutting the pizza, leaving the pizza and only taking the crust. And in that moment when I realized what they were talking about. I realized it was me and my childhood drama and trauma that came with me. Wow, Because when I was so young and I had my son, if I could afford a piece of pizza for a dollar twenty five, I would give him the pizza and I wouldn't eat. And as a toddler, they leave the crust behind.

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Speaker 1: Yep, I still do.

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Speaker 2: They leave the crust behind, And I would be lucky if there's a little bit of ragoo sauce on it, but otherwise it's just bread. Yeah, and that would be my dinner. And so here I am, years later in corporate America, still taking a knife cutting the pizza and just taking the crust. And it's something that shows that whatever you go through in childhood, if you don't address it, yes, it follows you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, in that moment when you realize, wait, it's me that they're laughing at. Did you realize this is something I haven't dealt with? And have you done the inner work? Have you gone to therapy to really kind of help heal those broken parts?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely right, I say therapy is like getting your hair and done, getting your nails done. It's all a part of self care for sure, right, because sometimes you need and I think in our community we don't embrace it enough because it's almost as if, well, there's nothing wrong with you. Okay, yep, I'm a girl. I'm a pray about it, right, and I'm gonna pray about it too. But sometimes I need to answer now, and sometimes I gotta trust God in God's time, but I need to answer in the next fifty nine minutes. So let me go ahead do this therapy session for sixty minutes and see what she's saying. And so sometimes having that person that's not biased but can listen to you and then give you that unbiased, kind of honest feedback to kind of turn the mirror and make you look at yourself, it's helpful. And so, yes, we're working through therapy and having that independent person has been a life saver.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I love that. When did you begin to reshape your relationship with your parents and how is it now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, In terms of reshaping it, I would say it was a journey. I don't think there was ever a turning point, okay. And growing up there was this element where I had first the mentality of Okay, I've come through now alternative school. I've been through the homelessness, I've been through the shelters, I've been through the domestic abuse. Like, I've gone through all of this darkness by myself. Yeah, and I've quote unquote made it to the other side. And I remember talking about it like an analogy, almost like an apple pie where you have this nice, warm apple pie and now all of a sudden, your family comes and they want to slice, and they're like, you can't eat that pie by yourself, girl, give me a piece. And I remember feeling like, but you didn't help me pick these apples. You didn't bring me a basket, even when you saw all my arms were full of apples. You didn't even bring me a cup of ice water when you saw me sweating with these apples all while I got my kid on my back.

00:17:09
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:17:10
Speaker 2: But now that I come in and I bake this pie with all of the struggle that I had to go through to get these apples, now you want to slice. But then as I matured, I realized eating that pie by myself is not the same as eating it with the people that I love. That's so true, and I think that's where a lot of people will say forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for you. Yes, And so being able to realize, like I want to share my pie with my family, I want them to celebrate this and enjoy this has been so free where it's not a matter of how's that relationship? Is there still tension? Is it still this? Is it still that? For me? It was very liberating.

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Speaker 1: Love that. That's beautiful analogy. It's not as good as eating with the people that you love.

00:18:05
Speaker 2: It's not It's not a coffee being analogy. It's apple analogy. But hey, we're gonna roll with it.

00:18:09
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, exactly, I love that. Let's see, I want to talk about the journey from going from struggle to success. When did you realize, Okay, I'm in a place now where I need to get my life together and I want to start striving for the things that I want to do. Yes, yeah, when did you decide I'm going to college? This is even like going into finance, Like, how did we get from where you were from homelessness to the shelters to now deciding I'm picking myself up by the bootstraps and I'm going to go for it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, I think I never lost sight of wanting to be something big, Like my circumstance never trumped the fact that I knew I could do more right. And so that's what I think I want people to get out of this book, which is your circumstances don't define you. Yeah, your challenges don't find you. You may be on a detour, but you still own that journey. And so for me, I always wanted to still get there. So once I was able to get on my feet, I couldn't go to a regular school. I didn't have anyone to watch my son, and so I had to go to an alternative school where we'd get on the yellow school bus his car seat and myself and we would go to school together. The kids are in one room, there's a glass wall, and you're learning in the next room. And so for me, it was just a matter of I still want to get somewhere. I just might have to change my journey, my path, my street, but I'm still determined, and it's just taking that one foot after another and then right going through that journey and having different resources at colleges and people believing in you and you helping you and just kind of seeking out. I always say you have not because you ask not.

00:19:48
Speaker 1: That's real.

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Speaker 2: And so just telling people what you need and so just always being willing to raise my hand, ask for help and putting one foot in front of the other has really been what undermining piece of success has really been grounded on.

00:20:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, in that perspective, I feel like your your ability to no matter what it looks like out of the window, you shift that perspective into something positive. Yes, I think that's so important because a lot of times we get stuck in the circumstance and that's where we stay. Yes, you know, but you had the wherewithal to say, no, I'm not staying here, I'm meant for greater and you push through. That was that something that you saw growing up? Like what gave you that was? Or that was that something that you were just innately born with?

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Speaker 2: Ooh, well, I think it was probably part being surrounded by the parents I had, who were, according to everyone, very successful. Yeah, and so that's what I grew up with. So I didn't understand why all of a sudden I couldn't still be something yeah. Right, And I think even today people right, there's a glass and you're either going to see that glass half full or half empty, and it's all in your perspective. Yeah, And I just never thought I was a victim. I just knew I had this circumstance, so I had to navigate. And I think that perspective is really what changed everything, because most people looking at me, they always say, how did you do it?

00:21:08
Speaker 1: Girl?

00:21:09
Speaker 2: Yeah? And I'm like, how could I not have?

00:21:11
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, for sure. I mean I would think, even at a young age, navigating that and then deciding, Okay, I'm going to do this, but with your child Exactly. I've got my child on my back while I'm doing all this. What was that like? Even trying to juggle the two, like going for what you really wanted, but also having this little mouth to feed.

00:21:28
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, difficult, right. That's that's where those knees get all kind of scrapes and bruises, because you're spending just as much time on your knees as you are trying to put one step in front of the other. I remember having to go to school and take my son with me because there's an evening class and you need that evening class to graduate. Well, day here's closed at six o'clock and so I'm there with everybody else who's on their parents dime and this, that and the other, and I'm sitting there with a child. But for me, it was my determination. My drive to be better was so much bigger than being uncomfortable or embarrassed that I didn't have a choice, so all right, let's go. Yeah. So yeah, looking back, sometimes I say like, oh, how did I do that? But I think when you're in it right, you just make it work.

00:22:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. And even I feel like in those moments you lean on your faith even more. I feel like you go back to what you know, you know, and at what point, like you said, I spent more as much time on my knees as I did trying to take put one foot in front of the other, how did you lean on your faith in those moments?

00:22:37
Speaker 2: Sometimes that's the only person I had to talk to.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: And what were those conversations like? Because I know somebody is going through this, it's going to hear this, yes, and sometimes they don't have the words or even know how to talk.

00:22:48
Speaker 2: The thing that I would always say when things felt heavy is God, I know You're not going to put me through more than I can handle. Yes, I know you're not gonna put me through more than I can handle, and that would get me through the night. Yeah, it would get me through the night.

00:23:04
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:23:04
Speaker 2: And so just knowing that there is someone rooting for me would keep me going. Yeah, would keep me going.

00:23:13
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. There was a moment when you stepped into a completely different version of yourself and you ran for the two thousand and six Miss Black Georgia USA. What made you even decide I'm going to go for this, because that's like a huge thing, you know, like to live the life that you lived previously and decide, hey, I'm going to go for this, and I mean, I see you why, like you're gorgeous, But yeah, what made you decide that like that? You want to do that? Because the pageant? I was a pageant girl and it is no joke. I love that.

00:23:46
Speaker 2: So for me, when things were perfect, if you will, I was in pageants as a young young girl.

00:23:51
Speaker 1: That's a part of that lifestyle.

00:23:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a part of lifestyle. That's that's where the piano lessons came from. And so I grew up around that and so you fast forward. I have my son, I'm now older.

00:24:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my goal.

00:24:03
Speaker 2: Was really to give back. And so at the time before I rained, I had quote unquote adopted a group of girls from a group home that was going through the court system for sexual exploitation. And so in essence, it was a campaign here that Shirley Franklin had when she was our mayor, and it was around kind of human trafficking, sex trafficking. And so these girls, as they get picked up, if they're repeat offenders, they go to this group home as opposed to going into like juvenile detection or something. And so I would spend my sundays with them, wow, mentoring, no makeup, no skin showing, just hairing, a pony tone in sweats, yeah, but just trying to mentor them and tell them there's a different way of life and that beauty doesn't have to be through a certain channel. And then when I saw the Miss Georgia opportunity, I wanted to go and volunteer. That volunteering actually ended up with me entering. Wow, So my initial thought was not to enter. It was really to go volunteer and try and help with this platform. And so once I entered, luckily I was successful enough and I won and then my platform was inspiring and empowering at risk youth. And I would always say because I am one, Yes. And then my goal was really to help people understand that the people that are considered at risk youth look like me exactly. And so if you can look at me, or you can idle me, or you can see me and applaud my success or applaud my journey, then why can't we help them so they can be applauded as well.

00:25:34
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. What was that experience like for you?

00:25:38
Speaker 2: It's like a second job.

00:25:39
Speaker 1: Well, at least yours was missed, so it was.

00:25:42
Speaker 2: Miss Black Georgia. Yeah, so it's like a second job. I'm working in corporate America. And in the evenings, I remember there was like an album release party for like Big Boy, and they're like, Okay, we want you there to do X y Z or someone's opening a dealership. We want you to cut the ribbon and be everywhere. It was everywhere, Yeah, everywhere, on top of being a single mother, on top of working full time. But for me, my wife was so much bigger than I'm tired. Yes, it was how do I get out there? How do I get my profile out there, so then my platform is out there.

00:26:14
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and it grew. Is it something you continue to do today? Yes, that's amazing. Yes, I love that. That is beautiful and I think now even with the times that was in two thousand and six, yes, even it's much worse. So that you were, you were ahead of the curve even helping young women know's positions. So that is incredible. You earned your NBA from Emery. Yes, you went on to complete executive education at the Wharton School, and you have worked for companies like Coca Cola, Hines, Viacom, CBS, and now you are the senior vice president at Starbucks. Talk about first of all, as the kids do. Congratulations that is how you turned lemons into lemonade, Like you did that. But I want to know going back, how did you even get on that path to like this is what I'm going to do and then this is what I'm going for to get to the singing and vice president of Starbucks, this huge company.

00:27:15
Speaker 2: So my thought in going through school, I was always good with numbers. Okay, so that's kind of the finance accounting background. So I'm a CPA by nature. But when people would see like the color blue on a crown, I would see four. When you see red, I would see three because I'm looking at the number of letters. Oh, when you see yellow, I would see six.

00:27:33
Speaker 1: Gotcha?

00:27:34
Speaker 2: And so by nature, I ended up going into something I was variable very comfortable with, which was accounting and finance. Okay, but my goal in going into accounting and finance, I wanted to be in the role that gives some money back to the community. And so in my mind I knew that was corporate responsibility, corporate engagement right with companies. That was my focus. But then as I went through my career journey, I realized it's the CFO that actually dictates what percent corporate responsibility is going to get. Yes, So then I said, well, how do I get closer to CFO. Then as I started moving closer to CFO, then I realized, wait a minute, it's the CEO that sets the strategy, that says, if we're even going to give into what areas. Is it going to be financial literacy, is it going to be for food hunger? What are we going to give to you? And so that's when I set my mind on CEO. And so my goal has been to be CEO since and so in my journey, it's a matter of how do I get to the CEO seat? How do I find myself sitting next to a CEO so I can learn what they do, so I can shadow them. And that placed me in the role of investor relation. So in investor relations, I'm sitting next to CEOs, I'm speaking to Wall Street on their behalf, I'm traveling with them to Wall Street. I'm managing one hundred and thirty billion dollars in stock market on Wall Street, one hundred and thirty billion with the B and then I am supervising for trillion dollars in assets under management on Wall Street. All because I want to get into a seat, yes, where I can make decisions on how we're going to give back to the community. Wow, because I want those young Tiffanys to understand if I can do it, yes, they can do it too.

00:29:20
Speaker 1: Well. You are the living proof.

00:29:22
Speaker 2: Seriously, I'm not there yet, though I'm there.

00:29:25
Speaker 1: You really close. You're getting there, and I'm sure that these are moments where you're developing relationships, you're still learning and cultivating. So when you do get that seat, you'll know exactly what to do and not a moment sooner than it's supposed to happen. Yep. I truly believe that. And God has you right where you're supposed to be. I love that, and I do believe that because your heart is in the right place, it's going to happen for sure. No, seriously, Yes, you talk about investments, So tell us about this role because I'm really big on financial literacy. That's one of the pillars of my foundation is making that our community yes understands financial literacy. I need to get plugged into that. Definitely. Yes, we have to get you like, yes, yes.

00:30:07
Speaker 2: Yes, So for me, I explain it in terms of Wall Street. Right, everyone that's working, if they have a four oh one K or anything like that, it's being managed by these big firms yep, the Fidelity, the Black Roth, the State Street, the Vanguards, and so my job is to talk to the individuals that are holding these basket of stock in these portfolios. So you have your four oh one K, it's with X company. There's going to be a small cap basket with all the companies that are considered small cap. There's going to be a basket for international stocks, for companies that are international. There's going to be a basket for very high growth type of companies, right, and so Starbucks is sitting in one of those baskets. My job is to talk to that person that's managing that basket and make sure they put as much Starbucks as possible in that basket to the point where they have to push some other stock out the way, because only so much can fit in that basket. The more of our stock that goes in, the higher our stock price goes. And so my job is to make sure they understand our strategy, our performance, our innovation, so they're excited to put more of that Starbucks stock into that basket into that portfolio.

00:31:13
Speaker 1: Okay, I love that. So I need to get some Starbucks stock.

00:31:17
Speaker 2: Well, I can't say because I'd be insider trading.

00:31:20
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, we do not So I said that. She didn't say it forgot it.

00:31:31
Speaker 2: See financial literacy.

00:31:32
Speaker 1: Yes, we just learned something, we did. We just learned something. So that is amazing. I want to know. There's a line in your book that says you are enough, not when you fix everything, but right now as you are. Well, that's something that you always believe in or you had to grow into that because right now you're sitting in seats where I don't know if you always believe that you are enough for that seat, but now you're there, is it something you had too to really? Kind of?

00:31:56
Speaker 2: I ain't there yet. You there, honey stock, I am not there yet until I get to that seat. Yes, yes, I am not loosen I'm not loosening this foot up off the gas. I feel like there's times where I feel like I'm enough even though I'm not there yet.

00:32:11
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely.

00:32:13
Speaker 2: And there's other times where I feel like I'm not.

00:32:15
Speaker 1: Let's talk about those times, Like I'm.

00:32:16
Speaker 2: Sitting in rooms where I have the founder of Starbucks, multi billionaire. When he speaks, everyone listens. I am the only one that looks like me. In that type of setting, you don't feel like you belong, you don't feel like you're enough, and so you almost wear this mask, you almost wear this armor. But my philosophy has been I'm gonna still be in that moment. I'm still going to be there, I'm still going to take up space even if i feel like I'm not enough. But I still feel those I still feel those moments when I'm in rooms and I'm the only one that looks like me. It's there, right, poster syndrome. But I want people to understand it doesn't go away.

00:33:04
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:33:05
Speaker 2: So you have to own where you're at in your journey. You have to embrace your journey because it's never gonna be if I get here or if I just keep moving, then I'll be comfortable. Yeah, then I would have made it. It's a journey that really never ends, and so you have to embrace where you are.

00:33:20
Speaker 1: Where you are, that's so good. I feel like you said, it never stops. No matter what level you go to, you're going to feel a little bit of that. Yes, has there come a moment where you feel like, okay, but I do belong here. Even if I'm feeling a little uneasy, this is where I belong. Have you gotten to a place where you feel mad?

00:33:37
Speaker 2: I mean I'm comfortable. I'm very comfortable sitting in the room. But right you still get the butterflies, especially in my role, and people are asking, well, Tiffany, what's the street saying? And so you're you know, you're in essence on a stage in that room. Yes, and whatever you say, they're listening and they're taking action against it. And so when you sit in rooms with those big names, it is overwhelming. Yeah. I will never allow myself to sit in a room though and shrink good. But it doesn't mean that I feel full. It doesn't mean that I feel one hundred percent ready. But I will never allow myself to show or shrink.

00:34:15
Speaker 1: Yeahha, I love that you are in a position of leadership. Yes, what does that require from you internally? Like when you get up every day knowing that you're going to the office and you're going to have to lead your team, what does that feel like? In What weight do you have to carry with that? Yeah?

00:34:30
Speaker 2: I think growing up in corporate America, I looked around to see how other people were leaders and I tried to mimic it, and it was very much I'm tough. It was the tarzan I'm the boss, do as I say. I need this, Nope, and I need it in ten minutes. And it was this kind of mantra where I saw people exerting their leadership and their talent and their title as a way to manage people. And I realized that's not how you bring the best out in people, because I realized they weren't bringing the best out in me, And so when I wake up and I think about leadership, I think about how do I authentically connect with my team?

00:35:05
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:35:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know who my team spouse is. I know which one of my teams is going through IVF. I know which one of my teams is going through early screening because they think they might have to get chemotherapy early. Like, I know these things, and it's deeper than what's the deliverable? What are we trying to get accomplished? Because then they go one hundred and ten percent harder for me because I'm showing up connecting with them on a personal level, not on an employee level. I think that's a lot of times when people miss in leadership. Yeah, they think it's title now will dictate and determine how someone should listen to them, And it's really the connection.

00:35:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is so true, and that's a good point for all leaders out there. That is so good. You also say in your book perfection isolates, but authenticity connects, which is basically what you just said. So you live by that even through your leadership skills on your at work. What made you realize that authenticity wasn't something that was optional, but it was something that would you need it as a leader.

00:36:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think as I just started managing more and more individuals in the corporate space and seeing how we connect versus when I would do speaking engagements and I would be authentic and I would tell my story, and seeing how I would connect to those individuals. And it was just a matter of realizing that people are coming to work dealing with things, and when they come out the car, you try and leave it at the door, but you can't leave it at the door. You're wearing it. And so how do I connect with them so they feel comfortable where they're not coming in with that weight. And I remember having a speaking engagement and I was on stage and it was like bright lights and the big auditorium full of individuals. Everyone's in like nice polished suits. And I get down from stage and they take the lapel off me, and I'm talking to the people backstage right, the cameras, the crews, and I'm saying goodbye. So I leave. I pushed the black curtain open and there was a young lady and she's just sitting there sobbing, crying, and she doesn't look like me, And I remember looking at her almost like has she been waiting for me all this time, because I was taking my good old time in the back. And I went up to her and she said thank you. And I still remember it like it's yesterday, even though it was years ago. But she says thank you, and I went to hug her and embrace her, and I'm thinking, like, you know, she just really enjoyed the speech. And she goes on to say, like, no, you don't understand. I am an attic of seven years wow. And this is a corporate America setting. And I look around at all my colleagues, and I look at everybody who graced that stage, and I thought, everyone is perfect, and I don't belong here. And when I feel pressure and I feel like I don't belong, I tend to revert back to my old habits of how you deal with stress. But for once, I finally feel like I belonged because you showed me that you can still be valuable if you're not perfect. Yes, she said, so thank you for pulling that weight off my shoulders.

00:38:14
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

00:38:15
Speaker 2: And so that's when I learned like people are dealing with things. Yes they are, and they might seem polished and smiling and happy, but just that authenticity can make such a big difference versus perfection. Which if I would have went up there and not told my story, I would have left the stage and this young lady would have went home still feeling the weight of being at a conference where everyone else looked perfect, everybody suits for polish, and yet her feeling like she wasn't enough.

00:38:44
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I feel like when people do that, you're helping more than your not when you come as your true self, share your truth, because everybody's going through something like we talked about, but also people are battling things. Yes, and to know that you just being if it helped one, yes, you've done your job. You know, how did you feel when you left that that conference that day?

00:39:06
Speaker 2: I felt heavy and light?

00:39:07
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:39:08
Speaker 2: Right, I felt heavy because I heard her story. Yeah, but I felt light because I also felt like I helped someone right without knowing.

00:39:15
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:39:16
Speaker 2: And that's the best way to help, because you're not looking for something in return, You're just doing it out of the goodness. And so it gives me kind of reinforcement and confirmation that there is value in being authentic. As much as people will say, why do you tell your story? You've made it to a certain level, like most leaders don't tell their story.

00:39:33
Speaker 1: Yes, well that's most leaders exactly. Yeah. I feel like that's a big part of the podcast is making sure that just be share stories that are hit, that resonate, that are true, and that really that people can take away and say, hey, I see myself and Tiffy's because I'm telling you right now, people are gonna watch it and be like that's me. Yes, and they're gonna also leave inspired knowing that they can do better because you've done better. So thank you for sharing your truth.

00:40:01
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

00:40:02
Speaker 1: Yes, you became a mother at a young age, but then you also had children later on. What was the difference in fourteen year old Tiffany as a mom and then girl Tiffany as a mom and how did those experiences shape you?

00:40:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're definitely different experiences.

00:40:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I see each child my mom was like, every child's different.

00:40:22
Speaker 2: I would say it reinforces what people have been telling me, which was I don't know how you did it. Yeah, because now having children, I'm like, who you got what you got basketball? And you got you got this, and you got that and what y'all got to eat too?

00:40:36
Speaker 1: Right?

00:40:36
Speaker 2: And I still got a call to do and so in my mind, I'm like, how did I do this?

00:40:42
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:40:44
Speaker 2: So now I see when people are like, I don't know how you did it, and I'm like, you just have to do it. Once I became a mother again, I realized it. But it's definitely different. My first child, I was growing up myself. That's always trying to grow as a mother. I was learning how to be a teenager and a young adult at the same time I was learning how to be a mother. And so with anything, with any job, right, you take your experience with you. And so I've had the privilege of taking that experience with me. I love it, but I would say it definitely made me a better person going through it. But yeah, I I am the single moms now because I'm like, girl, I don't know how you do it. Yes, I don't know how I did it.

00:41:21
Speaker 1: But how are you balancing it now that you have a career and motherhood? That's a different, a whole other beast in itself.

00:41:26
Speaker 2: Yes, it's different, it is. But now my children are older. So my second child is eighteen, Okay, so he's about to go to college, and so he's been driving for a couple of years, and so then he can help the younger one, which my daughter's fourteen, and so they're a little older. So now it's not as complex, but it is. Right, she's fourteen, So I'm like, what you doing? Why you gotta go to the park and meet Sophie? Who else there was? So Sophie, maybe I'll just walk the park while you were sewing to me Sophie exactly right, So it changes that dynam too.

00:42:00
Speaker 1: Yes, she's like, Mom, exactly, I'm like, I knew to this. Okay, listen, yes I was born tonight, but not last night.

00:42:09
Speaker 2: Exactly.

00:42:10
Speaker 1: That is funny. You have climbed the latter in your phenomenal mother. At what point did you realize that this story needed to be shared and did you have any apprehensions knowing that you have children that have access to books or the internet, or have you shared your story with them as well?

00:42:25
Speaker 2: Yes, so I've shared my story with them. And so the one piece is I shared my story twenty years ago when I rained because it was my platform.

00:42:35
Speaker 1: Yes.

00:42:35
Speaker 2: The difference is there wasn't social media, and so whatever I shared in the community, whenever I would have speaking engagements, it stayed there. It didn't follow me into corporate America. Now it does. But I will tell you that has unlocked so much more for me. That's amazing professionally. Yeah, even today as people try to recruit me, they will say, we have so many people that have resumes an experience like you do, and I don't even know if you're in the market, but we don't have leaders like you.

00:43:05
Speaker 1: Come on.

00:43:06
Speaker 2: So that has become my competitive mode. Yeah, that has become my superpower. And so I tell people you have to embrace your scars because they can unlock your superpower. Sometimes you just don't know what they are unless you unlock it.

00:43:18
Speaker 1: Yes, that's good, and so for me, I have embraced it.

00:43:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, she gave me a So for me, I've embraced it. And so write my children know, and I even take then when I go speaking. I spoke at the State Farm Arena for the Atlanta Hawks a couple of weeks ago. I took my daughter and some of her friends so they could see. It was interesting. Afterwards, she said, Mom, did you know such and such didn't know you had aunt fourteen? And I was like, you didn't tell her before I went on that stage. You supposed to be brief in the group. So there is that element. But now I'm very open because I don't want them to also be naive to what's out in this world. And I think sometimes as communities we try and hide some of our obstacles and challenges, thinking I don't want someone to frown on me, or I don't want someone to think it's okay. But you're not saving them exactly. You could be helping them by sharing your knowledge, for sure, And so so often we're quick to share, like, let me tell you this cornbread recipe, girl, right, oh, let me tell you how grandma did this. But why can't I learn about Grandma's challenges? So I don't make the same yes decisions. Yeah yeah, And so I'm very open with them even with the book. I've let them see different things. Right, Hey, I'm thinking about this cover, this cover, how do you like it? And so I posted the cover on Instagram and I saw that my eighteen year old reposted it and he said this is a woman that does everything. And so that just melted my heart because I'm like, oh, he's embracing us.

00:44:52
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. In this process writing in a book, I've talked to a lot of authors and they say that it's somewhat therapist. Yes, how was this process for you? And was there an emotional moment that you had as you're writing, Because you're honestly reliving these moments as you're writing, it tell us about that.

00:45:11
Speaker 2: Yes, so writing is definitely a therapeutic. I think I had a little bit of a different writing journey than most people because I do the speaking engagements. I'm always tailoring my speech to the audience, so I'm pulling a different part of my story. Yeah, so in essence, I'm outlining a speech which is a chapter of my story. And so I had all these different kind of threads to pull together. And then it was just a matter of Okay, how do I organize it? How do I lean in? But I'll tell you when I first did my book, it was rejected from publishers over and over again, and they said, you have a great story, but you're writing it like you're writing for Wall Street. It's a press release, and no fault of your own, that's what you're trained to do. You're very good at it. You're doing it for Fortune one company. But it can't be a press release. You have to put emotion to.

00:45:59
Speaker 1: It and here we go and so here we go.

00:46:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so that's when the unlock came, and that's when the heaviness of the therapeutic piece came, where sometimes I would sit and write and I'm like, I got a headache and I don't get headaches. And I realized it was the weight of the book. It was the weight of the experiences. And even when I would resubmit, I would still get it rejected. So I really had to dig deep and open. And what the publisher said was, Tiffany, your story is going to help so many people. Don't hold back. You're going to write this book one time, yea. So if you're going to write it, write it. And so that has really helped me open up what my experience has been, because I think people will go through and there's going to be so many things that they say that to me, And at the end, it's like, I'm almos going to want to count who got to twelve, who got to fifteen, who got to twenty? Right where you see those little contests on social media to check if you've been to Texas, the Pennsylvania, right, that's what's going to be how many times did you say that's me. Yes, but I realized it's a better product.

00:47:04
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:47:05
Speaker 2: And this book, me sharing my journey is going to be a blueprint for someone going through their challenges and struggles today.

00:47:12
Speaker 1: M hmm for sure. Speaking of that someone who's listening or someone who may read your book, Yes, if they feel like they are still in the middle of their struggle, what advice would you give them today.

00:47:24
Speaker 2: If you're in the middle of your struggle, I would. Of course, you have to own your narrative. Come on, right, because if you don't own your narrative, someone else is going to own it for you.

00:47:32
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:47:32
Speaker 2: And in addition to owning your narrative, you have to understand that it is then a blueprint for someone else. Someone else is on a chapter a journey which you think yours is tough, theirs may be tougher. And so you owning it, you being vocal and you being authentic to what you're going through, is going to help someone else and pull them out of their struggle. So own your narrative and own it authentically.

00:47:53
Speaker 1: That's beautiful to me. Thank you so good. So this season on, keep it positive, sweetie. We are leaning more into the theme unapologetic. Yes, so I want to know, how is Tiffany unapologetically owning her narrative on today?

00:48:10
Speaker 2: How is Tiffany unapologetically owning her narrative? Okay, so I didn't know this question was gonna come, but there was something I wanted to say.

00:48:17
Speaker 1: So this is per alignment.

00:48:20
Speaker 2: So when I did my first commencement speech, I introduced myself after someone came up and they said my bio and everything. And I even came to the stage and I said, you know, Dean such and such did a great job introducing me. But as a famous poet named Jay Z once said, allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Tiffany Willis and I'm a ninth grade dropout. Wow, And that has really been me owning my narrative. And in that speech I talked about how I wanted to one day write a book and I wanted it to be on the Oprah Book Club. I talked about how one day I wanted to be the female version of the Pursuit of Happiness and have a movie based off my life. And I talked about becoming a CEO. And this was years ago. And so to everyone, I want to say when you embrace your narrative and you live unapologetically. Opra ain't pick our book yet, but we at least have a book for her to consider. Yes, and we don't have a movie based off of our life yet yet. But I'm just saying, Tyler Perry Crystal could play me as the adult Tiffany.

00:49:33
Speaker 1: So yes, yeah, we.

00:49:37
Speaker 2: Just gonna put it out.

00:49:38
Speaker 1: We're gonna figure it out.

00:49:40
Speaker 2: So living unapologetically is seeing what you want that can be so far fetched that people almost look at you and think your dreams are crazy. And I always say, if I say something and you don't think it's crazy, I'm not dreaming big enough.

00:49:58
Speaker 1: That's it. That is so good.

00:50:00
Speaker 2: And so that's what living unapologetically is.

00:50:02
Speaker 1: I love that. That might be my favorite answer yet. Oh that's so good. In closing, we are going to do what we call positive outcomes. That's where our listeners right into us and ask us a question and we give them advice. Okay, you're ready, I'm ready. All right. So this week we have Haley Brown from Dallas, Texas. She says, Hey, Haley, she says, I graduate soon and I'll be the first of my family. I've learned a few interviews and look forward to the next chapter. Even with all the goals met, I sometimes feel it isn't enough. How do I stop feeling like? How do you stop feeling like you have something to prove? Yeah?

00:50:41
Speaker 2: So I'll just say, like Haley, throughout my whole journey, there's still moments where I feel like I'm not enough. I don't feel like you ever arrive and you feel like you're enough. Yeah, But the trick is perspective, which is you still put one foot in front of the other. You still make progress, because you'll never arrive if you don't make progress. So I think for Haley, it's just about just keep pushing forward. And Haley, depending on what your major is, look me up. Maybe I can get you an internship or a job. Hailey.

00:51:11
Speaker 1: Wow, that's amazing, Haley. I would tell you, I'm not sure if there's ever a point where you don't feel like you have something to prove. I feel like you're constantly evolving and you have that chip on your shoulder, which I feel like I keep it on my shoulder, or like every level I'll get to like I've got to prove if I'm not proven it to myself or to someone else, I'm still proven it to myself. Yes, So I feel like at some point if I'm getting to a place of complacency or I'm leveling out, then I'm losing that edge. So I always like to feel like I'm continually evolving, and I always want to prove something to myself that I can be better and do better. So I don't think feeling like you have something to prove is a bad place, depending on your perspective. Yes, we talk about the perspective. If it's like I need to make everybody like me, I need to prove to them that I'm worthy, that's a different thing. But proven to yourself that you can do with proven to yourself that you can be better, because we can all be better in different areas. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

00:52:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's in essence. When everyone goes to give a speech, they all have butterflies, yes, right, And if you don't have butterflies, then somewhere somehow you probably did not prepare or you're not taking it seriously.

00:52:16
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, because you.

00:52:17
Speaker 2: Never really feel like you have arrived. You're still trying.

00:52:20
Speaker 1: To do your best right exactly. Love that Tiffany I've totally enjoyed our time. This has been amazing. Yes, thank you. Tell us where we can get your book all the information we want to support you, thank you so much. It's book club, but we do have Crystal's book Club unofficially and there we all read together, so we got jesus.

00:52:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you can find the book on Amazon. It's own your narrative. You can also follow me on Instagram, which is at Tiffany Willis at Underscore Tiffany Willis. I'm still getting used to my Instagram, so at Underscore Tiffany Willis as well as you can find all kinds of information about me at Tiffany hyphen Willis dot com. And I would love to be supportive to your community. The sweetie swarm, you know, like fiancee has to be hot. This is way the sweety swarm. So I would love to be able to pour into the sweety.

00:53:07
Speaker 1: Swarm as much as I can no appreciate it. We're definitely gonna swarm around you and get your book and make it a number one best selling. We're excited to support you and champion you and everything that you have going on, So make sure you guys follow her, stay up to date on all the things Tiffany has going on, and we'll be sure to support you. And thank you so much for stopping by. Thank you for having me of course, all right, guys, we'll see you next week. While you know, what stays with me from this conversation is the reminder that our stories don't become powerful when they're perfect. They become powerful when we choose to own them. Tiffany, I want to thank you so much for your honesty, your strength and showing us their resilience isn't about having it all figured out. It's about continuing to rise even when life tries to define you. Because sometimes growth looks like we're writing the narrative were giving and choosing to walk in it with confidence and clarity and grace. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to another episode of The Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Don't forget to download the season eleven Kids Reflection Guide at Chris Ordehesel dot com. Be sure to subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs it. And if you ever need some advice, positivity, or just want to share what you're going through, email us at Keep It Positive Outcomes at gmail dot com. As always, stay blessed, say encouraged and keep it positive. Sweetie. I love you guys until next time.