276 | Following a Child's Lead vs. Returning Responsibility: Knowing the Difference
Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy
In this episode, I answer a question from Sandi in Iowa about how to respond when children ask or tell us to do things in the playroom. Whether it's a power and control need, learned helplessness, or collaborative play, understanding the why behind the request is essential for responding in a way that aligns with CCPT principles.
I break down when to comply (such as in power and control play), when to return responsibility (especially in cases of learned helplessness), and when it's appropriate to engage in collaboration without violating CCPT adherence. If you've ever wondered whether you should follow a child's instructions in session or redirect responsibility, this episode provides a clear framework for making those in-the-moment clinical decisions.
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Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast
Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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0 00:00:00,439 --> 00:00:04,320 You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks, 1 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,189 your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching. 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:08,720 Hi, 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:09,829 I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:10,560 The Kid Counselor. 5 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,960 This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get 6 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,289 a master class in child-centered play therapy 7 00:00:15,289 --> 00:00:17,549 and practical support and application for your 8 00:00:17,549 --> 00:00:19,229 work with children and their families. 9 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:20,440 In today's episode, 10 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,430 I am answering a question from Sandi in Iowa. 11 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,909 And her question is about 12 00:00:27,469 --> 00:00:31,260 how we handle when children ask us to do things for us in the playroom, 13 00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:33,619 and I think I've touched on this a couple of times, 14 00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:37,340 but I don't know that I've comprehensively addressed this in the coaching, 15 00:00:37,349 --> 00:00:38,220 it comes up a lot. 16 00:00:38,389 --> 00:00:40,580 I think on the Collective calls it comes up a lot, 17 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:43,790 but I don't know how in depth I've gone into it on the podcast. 18 00:00:43,849 --> 00:00:44,790 So thank you so much, 19 00:00:44,909 --> 00:00:45,159 Sandi, 20 00:00:45,189 --> 00:00:45,709 for the question. 21 00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:46,500 However, 22 00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:48,419 hang on before we dive in, 23 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,979 a couple of housekeeping things. 24 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:51,189 Number one, 25 00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:54,669 This is your last chance to RSVP for the meetup. 26 00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:56,540 So if you are going to be in Virginia, 27 00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:57,700 last chance, 28 00:00:58,229 --> 00:01:01,360 playtherapypodcast.com/meetup, 29 00:01:01,430 --> 00:01:02,509 you have to RSVP. 30 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,500 I need a headcount and I have to 31 00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:06,160 solidify everything for that. 32 00:01:06,389 --> 00:01:07,239 That will be this Friday, 33 00:01:07,309 --> 00:01:09,099 the 7th at 6:30 Eastern. 34 00:01:09,349 --> 00:01:10,790 So that was issue number one, 35 00:01:10,949 --> 00:01:11,739 issue number 2. 36 00:01:12,269 --> 00:01:14,019 I am very excited to announce 37 00:01:14,430 --> 00:01:15,230 that. 38 00:01:16,099 --> 00:01:16,980 March 28th, 39 00:01:17,059 --> 00:01:17,809 April 4th, 40 00:01:17,819 --> 00:01:18,989 and April 11th, 41 00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:20,970 3 Fridays in a row, 42 00:01:21,419 --> 00:01:22,970 I am presenting 43 00:01:23,569 --> 00:01:24,970 Advanced Pillars 44 00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:26,529 with Corwell. 45 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:27,900 So 46 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:33,089 for those of you that want to do a really deep dive into the four pillars, 47 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:34,569 this is for you. 48 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:40,330 This will be 9 collective hours of CEUs approved by APT through Corwell. 49 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:42,370 It will be 3 Fridays in a row, 50 00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:44,010 3 hours each day. 51 00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,290 We'll do reflecting feelings. 52 00:01:46,529 --> 00:01:48,529 One week we will do limit setting one week and 53 00:01:48,529 --> 00:01:51,480 we will do choice giving and encouragement the third week. 54 00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:54,230 So if you would like to get CEUs, 55 00:01:54,290 --> 00:01:55,599 if you would like to partner with 56 00:01:55,809 --> 00:01:59,040 me in Corwell in getting CCPT training, 57 00:01:59,459 --> 00:02:06,220 please go to playtherapypodcast.com/4pillars as in the number 58 00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:07,370 pillars. 59 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,910 Here's why you're going there 60 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:10,869 because 61 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,110 March 10th, 62 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,740 which is in 6 days, 63 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:15,350 today is the 4th, 64 00:02:15,839 --> 00:02:17,669 March 10th in 6 days, 65 00:02:18,279 --> 00:02:19,789 the price is going up. 66 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,960 They are running a sale right now for 67 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,839 my podcast listeners and my coaching members and my 68 00:02:26,339 --> 00:02:27,199 Collective members. 69 00:02:28,009 --> 00:02:29,490 So you have until the 10th, 70 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,350 if you want to save money and you want to attend, 71 00:02:32,690 --> 00:02:37,199 please go to playtherapypodcast.com/4pillars, 72 00:02:37,529 --> 00:02:41,279 and you can either do the bundle of all 9 hours or you can do 73 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:44,199 1 or 2 or 3 of the individual 74 00:02:44,529 --> 00:02:45,199 trainings. 75 00:02:45,369 --> 00:02:46,570 So that will be March 28th, 76 00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:47,360 April 4th, 77 00:02:47,449 --> 00:02:48,500 April 11th, 78 00:02:48,649 --> 00:02:49,839 3 Fridays in a row. 79 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,429 I know you all are wondering, 80 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:52,750 OK, 81 00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:52,899 well, 82 00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:54,550 is this going to be appropriate for me? 83 00:02:54,669 --> 00:02:57,179 So I'm really new to the field. 84 00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:59,869 If I haven't done basics on these pillars, 85 00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:01,869 is advanced training going to help me? 86 00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:02,580 Yes. 87 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:04,539 If you're on the other side of the camp, 88 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,639 I've done your coaching, 89 00:03:05,649 --> 00:03:06,070 Brenna. 90 00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:07,259 I'm a podcast listener. 91 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,440 I'm a Collective member. 92 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,179 I've 93 00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:11,539 done a deep dive into CCPT already. 94 00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:13,080 Is this going to benefit me? 95 00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:13,839 Yes. 96 00:03:14,149 --> 00:03:19,169 My goal is that this will be in addition to any training that you've already taken 97 00:03:19,429 --> 00:03:23,350 and or this will be a foundation for you if you're getting started in the field. 98 00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:27,410 So I actually do highly recommend no matter where you are in the journey, 99 00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:28,929 this would be helpful for you. 100 00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:32,529 I'm going to dive into stuff that I've never covered before. 101 00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:34,020 I've never taught it in coaching. 102 00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:35,889 I've never talked about it on the Collective. 103 00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:37,919 This is brand new content. 104 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,169 So if you 105 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:40,179 need CEUs, 106 00:03:40,339 --> 00:03:41,490 if your renewal's coming up, 107 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:44,490 if you just wanna hang out with me for 3 Fridays in a row, 108 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,259 which would be so fun. 109 00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,720 You can sign up for that. 110 00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:49,820 I'm really looking forward to it. 111 00:03:49,839 --> 00:03:51,479 There's also a pre-recorded option, 112 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,800 so if you can't attend live, 113 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,149 you can still have access to it pre-recorded, 114 00:03:55,279 --> 00:03:57,110 but I would actually love to have you on the call. 115 00:03:57,399 --> 00:03:57,860 So 116 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,000 those are the two housekeeping tips. 117 00:04:00,089 --> 00:04:01,809 Now we'll move into Sandi's question. 118 00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:02,630 So, 119 00:04:03,399 --> 00:04:05,240 let me read parts of her email and then we'll dive in. 120 00:04:05,839 --> 00:04:08,460 You talk about how kids are working through a pendulum swing, 121 00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:10,149 which I definitely see in my work. 122 00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:12,860 I see kids come in with high needs for power and control, 123 00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:16,140 and it plays out with them telling me exactly how they want me to do something, 124 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,298 how they want me to say something, 125 00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:17,670 etc. 126 00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:21,970 Then I see the pendulum swing to where they are much less controlling and demanding. 127 00:04:22,119 --> 00:04:25,489 I see fewer corrections of what I'm doing or how I might say something. 128 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:28,970 When they begin to swing and tell me things like which color do you want, 129 00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:31,329 or you pick out something that will be stolen today. 130 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,820 Do I adhere to the model of returning responsibility with, 131 00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:35,100 oh, 132 00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:35,470 you know, 133 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:36,670 in here you get to decide, 134 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:37,700 you choose a color, 135 00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:39,540 or you know 136 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:40,750 you're in charge in here, 137 00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,839 so you get to choose the stolen goods. 138 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,269 Is there a point where we follow the child's lead and 139 00:04:45,269 --> 00:04:48,589 make those types of decisions because they have learned greater frustration, 140 00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:49,299 tolerance, 141 00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:51,619 and ability to manage their anxiety, 142 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,589 or do we adhere to the model and return responsibility 143 00:04:54,589 --> 00:04:57,100 regardless of what progress we see the child has made? 144 00:04:57,429 --> 00:04:58,559 I think I might know the answer, 145 00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,820 but I want to hear it from you. 146 00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:01,190 OK, 147 00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:03,670 I always find it really funny when people ask me a question and go, 148 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,910 I know what you're gonna say. 149 00:05:05,359 --> 00:05:05,950 So I'm like, 150 00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,350 then why are you asking me? 151 00:05:07,649 --> 00:05:08,000 OK, 152 00:05:08,119 --> 00:05:08,200 no, 153 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:08,679 but Sandi, 154 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,440 I really am glad that you emailed because this 155 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,109 is gonna be so helpful for so many people. 156 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,160 So even if you think you know my answer, 157 00:05:14,359 --> 00:05:16,679 I will either confirm or deny what you assumed. 158 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,279 So. 159 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,299 Here's where 160 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,619 this falls and and kind of how we make sense of this. 161 00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:25,709 It's really not so much about where the child is in the pendulum. 162 00:05:26,549 --> 00:05:27,220 Because yes, 163 00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:28,000 early on 164 00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:33,019 there's likely going to be dictatorial power so it's going to be power and control, 165 00:05:33,429 --> 00:05:35,420 demanding authoritative, 166 00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:37,630 just you know you have to do and say exactly what 167 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:41,209 I want when kids are in power and control grabs, 168 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:42,160 we 169 00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:45,339 acknowledge that they are ordering us around 170 00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:48,160 and then we do what they order us to do. 171 00:05:48,559 --> 00:05:48,929 So 172 00:05:49,269 --> 00:05:53,750 you are telling me that I have to get up right now and go grab that for you. 173 00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:56,380 If it is rooted in power and control, 174 00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,049 we comply because that's their need. 175 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:00,899 They need to order you around. 176 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,130 They need to have control and power over you. 177 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,329 So it's not so much about the pendulum, 178 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:09,010 even though we will see that earlier on and then we will see less of that later on, 179 00:06:09,339 --> 00:06:11,230 it's really not about the pendulum, 180 00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:12,250 it's about the why. 181 00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:13,890 So if it's power and control, 182 00:06:14,339 --> 00:06:14,809 we 183 00:06:15,059 --> 00:06:18,809 do what we're told after acknowledging that they're ordering us to do it. 184 00:06:19,829 --> 00:06:21,690 Another option is learned helplessness. 185 00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:24,500 So will you get that for me? 186 00:06:24,589 --> 00:06:25,459 I can't do it. 187 00:06:25,589 --> 00:06:26,500 Can you help? 188 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,630 What is that called? 189 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:28,500 How does that work? 190 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:29,739 Can you open this, 191 00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:33,019 those types of learned helplessness responses, 192 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:33,700 which 193 00:06:34,029 --> 00:06:36,899 often when a pendulum swings in your description, 194 00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:38,529 they are more gentle, 195 00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:39,869 they are less demanding, 196 00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:41,859 so you might at a later point in therapy, 197 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:42,739 have a kid that 198 00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:44,470 will be more gentle in their approach. 199 00:06:44,559 --> 00:06:45,500 So they might say, 200 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,190 do you want to pick that? 201 00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:48,209 OK, 202 00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:51,570 that's different than learned helplessness route. 203 00:06:51,799 --> 00:06:55,089 If the why behind them telling you to do something. 204 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:55,769 I 205 00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:58,220 learned helplessness. 206 00:06:58,429 --> 00:06:59,119 I can't do it. 207 00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:00,040 Will you get it? 208 00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:01,179 That's too high. 209 00:07:01,260 --> 00:07:02,630 I need you to help me. 210 00:07:03,109 --> 00:07:04,179 I don't know what to do. 211 00:07:04,269 --> 00:07:05,510 You have to do it for me. 212 00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:07,600 If there's a learned helplessness, 213 00:07:07,709 --> 00:07:08,940 we always, 214 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,089 absolute on purpose, 215 00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,339 return responsibility. 216 00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,230 Regardless of where they are in the process, 217 00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,450 regardless of how the pendulum has swung, 218 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,339 if it is a learned helplessness route, 219 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:19,890 we always return responsibility. 220 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:20,290 Why? 221 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,760 Because the child needs to build a self-concept. 222 00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:26,809 The child needs to know that someone believes in them. 223 00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:30,660 Someone implies that they have the capacity to do this. 224 00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:32,559 Learned helplessness, 225 00:07:32,609 --> 00:07:36,040 we will always return responsibility regardless of where we are in the process. 226 00:07:36,369 --> 00:07:39,200 And then another reason why kids will sometimes 227 00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:43,779 tell us or ask us to do things is for collaborative type of play. 228 00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:48,809 When it's a back and forth relational collaborative kind of scenario. 229 00:07:48,899 --> 00:07:49,209 So, 230 00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,489 you're throwing a ball back and forth and the ball's near your feet. 231 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,929 If we're really rigid and we're really trying to 232 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,049 look at it legalistically and say never do for 233 00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:00,630 a child that which they can do for themselves, 234 00:08:01,119 --> 00:08:01,230 well, 235 00:08:01,239 --> 00:08:03,839 I shouldn't pick up this ball even though it's right by my feet 236 00:08:03,839 --> 00:08:06,549 because that's doing something for a child they can do for themselves. 237 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,070 But if you're tossing a ball back and forth 238 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,839 and it's collaborative play and it's relational engagement. 239 00:08:12,619 --> 00:08:13,579 It would just be 240 00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,070 natural and appropriate 241 00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,429 for you to grab it because it's by you. 242 00:08:18,269 --> 00:08:19,820 And then you toss it back. 243 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:20,709 And 244 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,790 another similar scenario 245 00:08:23,279 --> 00:08:25,970 is a child will collaboratively 246 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,440 Involve you. 247 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,190 In other words, 248 00:08:28,269 --> 00:08:30,619 both of the little girl's hands are full. 249 00:08:30,989 --> 00:08:32,090 She has 250 00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:33,479 I don't know, 251 00:08:33,558 --> 00:08:35,239 glue and scissors in one hand and she 252 00:08:35,239 --> 00:08:37,429 has construction paper and pipe cleaners in another, 253 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:38,888 and then she says, 254 00:08:39,278 --> 00:08:40,879 you grab the scissors. 255 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:43,409 Well, 256 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:45,140 I don't know if I said scissors were in her hand, 257 00:08:45,219 --> 00:08:45,539 but whatever. 258 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:46,130 You get the point. 259 00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:48,049 So both of her hands are full, 260 00:08:48,419 --> 00:08:49,059 and then she says, 261 00:08:49,159 --> 00:08:49,299 hey, 262 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,090 will you grab the such and such for me? 263 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:51,789 Or, 264 00:08:52,059 --> 00:08:52,219 hey, 265 00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:52,530 you, 266 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,169 you grab those two things, 267 00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:55,260 we could say, 268 00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:55,500 oh, 269 00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:57,179 you'd really like me to grab that for you, 270 00:08:57,219 --> 00:08:58,650 but that's something you can do. 271 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:00,770 But we're missing the why. 272 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,849 The why is my hands are full, 273 00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:05,809 it makes sense that you would collaboratively help. 274 00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:08,000 It's not because I don't think that I 275 00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:08,859 can't do it. 276 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,840 It's not that I'm ordering you around, 277 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:12,650 it's just collaborative in nature. 278 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,059 And so if that's the why, 279 00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:17,010 we typically want to say, 280 00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:17,450 oh, 281 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:18,750 you'd like me to help you with that. 282 00:09:19,549 --> 00:09:22,080 But it has to be rooted in that 283 00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:23,000 cause. 284 00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:23,770 So, 285 00:09:23,849 --> 00:09:24,210 Sandi, 286 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:25,010 thank you for the question. 287 00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:27,890 I hope that that helps tease apart the different 288 00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:30,090 reasons why kids will tell us to do things. 289 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,599 And this really is a clinical judgment call. 290 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:33,909 We have to know the child, 291 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:35,830 we have to know their root issues, 292 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,869 we have to know their thematic and symbolic play. 293 00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:43,640 And we need to have our finger on the pulse of what's driving the request 294 00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:46,320 and therefore then we can adjust accordingly 295 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:50,169 so I don't think there's ever just a blanket rule we 296 00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:52,229 always do what we're told or we never do what we're told 297 00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:54,289 it's much more nuanced than that. 298 00:09:54,330 --> 00:09:57,760 It's actually very much a clinical in the moment decision. 299 00:09:58,210 --> 00:10:00,929 Why is the child ordering us around and then 300 00:10:00,929 --> 00:10:03,419 what would be the most therapeutically helpful response? 301 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:04,989 So Sandi, 302 00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:05,989 thanks a lot for your question. 303 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:09,950 I hope that that's helpful to a lot of you because we get told to do lots of 304 00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:11,830 things in the playroom and sometimes it's tricky to 305 00:10:11,830 --> 00:10:14,419 know exactly the most adherent way to respond. 306 00:10:14,969 --> 00:10:15,150 All right, 307 00:10:15,309 --> 00:10:17,429 so if you would like to reach out to me, 308 00:10:17,469 --> 00:10:18,349 I'd love to hear from you, 309 00:10:18,429 --> 00:10:20,340 brenna@thekidcounselor.com, 310 00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:21,340 and 311 00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:24,500 I am traveling this week to Virginia, 312 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:25,299 so 313 00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:26,809 I will 314 00:10:27,229 --> 00:10:30,049 return on Sunday and looking forward to 315 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,789 the Collective calls and the coaching calls again. 316 00:10:33,429 --> 00:10:35,140 It's going to be cold in Virginia, 317 00:10:35,169 --> 00:10:35,489 y'all. 318 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:37,760 This Florida girl is gonna be very cold, 319 00:10:38,169 --> 00:10:39,450 but I'm excited about that. 320 00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:40,719 So I will 321 00:10:40,969 --> 00:10:41,919 see you when I get back. 322 00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:42,570 We'll talk soon. 323 00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:43,049 Love y'all. 324 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:43,450 Bye. 325 00:10:44,669 --> 00:10:47,429 Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. 326 00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:48,500 Brenna Hicks. 327 00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,630 For more episodes and resources, 328 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:55,510 please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.