Happy 1st Birthday to Us, and Back to School! Ep 55

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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercam. I'm a mother of four, an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Unger. I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to the best of both worlds. This is Laura. This is episode fifty five. It is airing on August twenty one, which is pretty much our one year anniversary. It's very exciting. We released three episodes right at the beginning to launch the podcast, so you think about fifty two weeks plus the three at the beginning. This episode fifty five brings us right around to where we started, and so this will be our anniversary episode with a little bit of back to school tidbits grown in because you know, we want to be helpful in addition to just clapping ourselves on the back, which is always fun. But you know, our traffic has been growing, which has been awesome. We could always use more though, right, there are many people in this world who do not yet know about the best of both World podcasts. So if you were thinking, hey, I would like to celebrate with Sarah and Laura this wonderful anniversary milestone, Yes, so you could do so by telling a friend or colleague about this podcast. You could wish us a happy birthday on social media tag us. That would be great because then people will see it as well. Or even more wonderful, you can leave us a rating or review over on iTunes because it really does help when people are looking at podcasts, maybe somebody's mentioned it or they found us for search and they're like, oh, should I bother? And if you've got hundreds of five star reviews, people are like, oh, well maybe I will. So please do leave a rating or review. It would be a great way to say happy birthday to us. We would appreciate it. We really enjoy doing this, and we will remind you that we are at free. So there, that's what you can do to repay us. That's what you can do to repay us, if it's to leave us a rating or review. Also, you can respond to our survey, which we will be putting out soon because we want to know what you'd like, more of what we could do better. There will be a prize, and I don't think we've exactly decided what the prize is. You didn't like my idea, maybe we maybe we can add to that, and we did. My wonderful husband actually has he would like to create some best of both world mugs. I think mostly just for me and Laura, but you never know, we could also perhaps could share world swag. Now we said you could, you know, win a copy of one of my books, although a number of blog readers have already purchased my books, and that's a good point. True, you can give it to a friend that would be awesome too, And then I'm the problem of what to give to her for Christmas, So I guess as well. Uh yeah, so we were looking back, and you know, because we get the stats over at libson our host of how many downloads there have been for various different episodes. Well and yeah, yeah, well, I gotta say, like, the cool thing is that it's skewed, and it's skewed to the more recent episodes because we've grown over time, which is so cool. So I mean, we'll talk a little bit about oldies but goodies later. I don't want to do a disservice for some to some of the ones we did earlier, which actually covers some really kind of basic bread and butter, best of both worlds topics. But in recent times, since we had more listeners, are sort of top top ones have been more recent So the most popular one, and this is a tribute to Laura probably is the one that we did to promote her book. Will not promote her book, to discuss her book Off the Clock. Let's not be around. You're allowed to self promote. Yeah, and I really truly enjoyed that book, So it was a It was a fun episode and fun to talk about and many of you checked it out, which is really cool. That was episode forty three Off the Clock on that one. Yes, our goals check in recently was pretty popular. Our time tracking episode was a hit. Number thirty nine. Our most popular interview episode drum roll please just kidding. We'll give a shout out to Rebecca Fike. She was the attorney with a very popular blog called lag liv that had a great conversation with us sort of midway through the year. Number twenty eight, so if you haven't checked that out, I highly recommend it. People seem to like the Kan MARII debate number thirty, the mom guilt, which we kind of expected, and Planner Palooza I will give a shout out to that was number twenty one of my faves to do, and then also the recent superficial things. Yes, although interesting, you know, it's interesting our top ones are mostly US yaking, which is interesting to know that people seem to like that. I know. Plus, we have we're going to do a better job describing in our titles what incredible things our guests bring to each show, because I do think sometimes people see a name they're not familiar with and then they scroll on by. I know I've been guilty of that. So so we're going to try to do a better job kind of showing you why a guest was so compelling to us. We have gotten to the point, I don't want to sound snobby, No, I'm just kidding where you know, we get more guest pitches, then we have space four in episodes, which is not you know, that's pretty exciting, but it also means that we're able to kind of pick and choose who we think would be really awesome for you guys to hear from, and it doesn't need to be someone who's famous, and maybe someone who has a particular situation or an interesting job. But yeah, so I think that those are going to continue to improve throughout time as well. Yeah. No, we definitely got feedback that we needed to describe those episodes better our guests. So if they're not a famous person, people want to know, well, why should I listen? And that makes total sense. You're trying to decide why do you use your precious time listening to something? So we are getting better on that. We appreciate the feedback. Please keep sending the feedback. Again, We're going to do a survey, but we welcome feedback in all forms, and we are trying to get better. I mean that's where we're newbies at this. This has been our first year on it, and I definitely feel more comfortable now than we did fifty five episodes ago. But yeah, lots lots of room to grow in there. Sarah, what have you been in your favorite moments so far? Well, interviewing Minusha's way up there as we talked with let's see, I liked all the organizing podcasts that we've done, and I really enjoyed talking to Laurence Smith Brody, Like right, she wrote the fifth Trimester right as I was headed back to work. I thought that was such a cool opportunity and great timing. And I will say Gretchen Rubin was pretty thrilling. You know, I've listened to her for so long and then having her on our phone line was pretty thrilling. Yeah, that was pretty cool. What about you, Well, I've been really liking the listener questions. I worried, you know, are we going to get enough listener questions? And I think the answer is yes, we will get enough listener questions to take us through this podcast for the rest of time pretty much, which is wonderful. Like you know, people love to and not even just the question people have strategies they want to share as well. And one of the great things about having this platform is you get to have this conversation with people and learn from each other and learn what works, learn what hasn't worked. So I know that that's a service that you know, wonderful women provide for each other, and so I've been happy to be a part of that. In terms of you know, I had a real kickover and Bogel because I love me too. Yeah, and then you know we traded out. You know, I went on her show when she came on ours, and I secretly wanted to do that forever. And I'm a secret I'm not so secretly a little bit jealous. But I got actually I got a mini what should I read next? During our episode? So that's true. So you got some amazing right there, and I've read almost all of them. Actually I have to go back and listen and see if I hit all of them and do a recap. But she gave me some really great recommendations. Yeah. You know, I have a soft spot for the mom guilt episode because I have very strong feelings on this topic. We got some fascinating feedback on it, and partly just about your in my dynamic, apparently I'm the I'm the tough one and you're the sweet one. Guess if that's her or like Vaudeville podcast anyway, I don't know about real so funny, Uh, there have been some great moments. You know you talked about the Minusha episode was so hilarious to me. I I mean, I love that you have this like fangirl moment for her of you know, you're so excited to talk to Menush, So you've been playing this up on your blog beforehand. They're like, oh, we had this really exciting, awesome guest coming up, but I didn't want to reveal it or something like that. That's going to be Beyonce. And and then you know, we were telling this to Minus on air. You know, Sarah's like, oh, and my listeners are my readers are so excited about you know, you being on And She's like, well, not if they were expecting Beyonce. Yeah, that is one of my favorite favorite moments of all time in the in the podcast. Oh my goodness, So that was that was great. We ah the oldies but goodies. Yeah, the back. So please. Another thing you can do is if you just came to us in the past few months heard about the podcast. I mean, we're a little bit more polished now than we were back last. Have you gone back and listened. Do we sound better now? I haven't realized it's fine. I think we do. We sound better. I think it's more that we figured out how to have a conversation without like being in the same room. That it's a bit more give and take that. I think we're a little bit more hesitant on the first few episodes. There's a bit more of like, Okay, now what do I say? Oh? Should I say this? Like I was definitely feeling like oh should I Yeah, coming like a little bit more self editing. Yeah, that's true, Yeah, I do. And I wonder I think so I listened to all of my podcasts on one point five speed, and I've noticed that I'm one of the only people that seems really fast on one point five speed. So I think when we started, I spoke slower. So I wonder if that's actually a negative. So I will appreciate feedback on whether whether I think I think you sound fine. I mean, but I'm listening to you at normal speed, so I chipmunk speed. I'm not sure, but you know, so we both like, you know, the episode number one was why we decided to have more than two kids, So we talked about that episode number four on childcare. People always, you know, write us and be like you should do an episode on childcare. Well we have. I mean, we could do one every like four weeks and people would yeah, well we could do another. You can do childcare two point zero at some point. But we did talk a lot about various nuances in that episode, so I definitely recommend checking that out if you're interested. The Mental Load one that was episode number five. We have a most likely we'll have a guest on this fall who will be talking more about mental load and emotional labor and stuff like that, So that'll be we'll be revisiting that topic later on episode number eight, outsourcing and division number. We were on this for like any episodes in a row, that was a hot topic. Well it still is, I guess not be a hot topic. It will never not be a hot topic. Well maybe someday, when there's you know, equality everywhere all over the world, maybe you could look without green. It could happen. Yeah, the most random I love this. The Hurricane one episode. Yeah, we were dedicated. We really wanted to come out with a weekly episode, and back then I don't think we were working quite as far ahead as we do now. So when Hurricane Irma struck, you were like, well, is there any reason that you can't record an episode from where you're And I was like, yeah, good point, why the hell not? So we set up my laptop in my sister's house where we had fled to in North Carolina and did a hurricane irma episode. So I'm not like necessarily recommending that one, but it's pretty fine for the moment. Well, because Sarah and I are I mean this longtime listeners know this obviously, but we are not in the same place, like so she's in Miami, I'm in Philadelphia. Like, we're not recording in the same place at all. And so it was more just like if she had an internet connection somewhere she was able to record, and I said, well, you know, we don't have to, like obviously, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But we could also just you know, record twenty minutes of us talking on the phone and put that up. And so that's what we pretty much did well actually through our through her internet. So same as normal. Yeah, same as usual. You know. Eventually, I think it would be really fun for us to record some in person, and I do have some trips. I'm from Philadelphia, where Laura lives right outside of Philly. We have some trips coming up this winter, so there may be some live podcasts coming at you, or at least recorded in the same room. Podcasts coming at you, but it's not our typical I want to go to Miami in the winters, make sure I don't go. Yeah you should, yeah, I mean, so you should get out of here low moments. We've had some technical difficulties, and unfortunately what happens is it always happens when we have like a high profile gal. I mean literally, it's it's uncanny, and there's no reason that that should be true. Computers can license. That were literally our top three technical disasters were with well, number one Dina Castor Yes, which you'll talk about in a minute, Number two Gretchen Rubin, and number three minute I mean really yeah, yeah. It was too bad because these are all well. We had some issues with the Meredith vodcast one too, with the editor in chief of Working Mother magazine, like it's like zencaster knowscaster. Yeah, well, and so you know, Dina was lovely, it was a beautiful interview. I thought, this is so awesome, but we had our tracks didn't line up, so it was being recorded in her location in my location, and then we you know, we'll just we didn't get to review it before for whatever reason, and nowadays we actually now we know we can submit them separately and they can fix that issue if it happens. So we actually have done that in several episodes since then, but we didn't know at that point, and that was so had hard practice on top of each other. And so at first I thought, Wow, I'm being just the most rude interviewer ever. Why do I keep speaking on top of Dina. I've got to stop this. Okay, no, to self, don't do that anymore. And I'm taking notes. I'm like, you know, trying to prove my interview technique. And then I realized, like, no, it's not that I'm speaking on top of her. It is they were literally overlate. You know, She's having a normal conversation with me. It's just it's delayed. And so that was that was unfortunate. We've had some some people gave us a tough time on that episode to you know, I understand, but we actually had some nice feedback on it too. People are like, well, it was really almost impossible to listen to. But I thought she was so awesome that I listened to it anyway. I was like, oh, what bless you for for doing that, because she is amazing. I mean, bronze medal and the Athens Marathon and the Olympics Game and Olympic Games. She has won the New York City Marathon. You know, just an incredible person as well. So if you can ignore my question, maybe even just like fast forward to my questions and just listen to her, that would be that would be great. Yeah. Yeah, and her book is really good too, Yeah, exactly. Surprising moments. Hmmm, Oh well, I would say I mentioned it before, but like we keep getting pitches sometimes from like actual publicists. This probably surprises you, lest I mean, you're in an industry where you're used to that, but I am absolutely you know, I'm a physician, Like I've never I do have a blog that I've had for a long time, and so there's that sort of public persona, but you know, I've never hit it super big to the point where people's publicists are sort of asking for airtime from me. Other than like the occasional back in the glories of blogging, i'd get like a box of like spaghetti or something to review. Anyway, so I've been I've been really impressed and surprised by that. So keep them coming. That's really cool and a lot of fun. Yeah, because what about you We definitely get some ideas from that. I mean, we can't write about everything, and you know, we have certain markets, we have angles that we like, and we were there are certain topics we're probably not going to cover or we feel like we have I'm probably not going to revisit them much again. But you know, we're looking for new ones. Yes, so that's great, and I will say, actually, I'll put a shout out. So we're we're looking for more diversity. We are looking like we have not had a same sex couple yet and that's sad, so we should do that. And we are looking for perhaps the right dad guests to come on. That's some people have requested that, so I'm not sure what angle we'd want to take with that, but if it's the right person, we would consider it. We we get a lot of pitches from entrepreneurs and we feel like there are a lot of podcasts out there for entrepreneurs. I mean there are, I know there are, because that's where I sort of felt very left out, where a lot of these podcasts are talking about how to do life when you're working for yourself, and I wanted something that was not that, so, you know, not to discourage the entrepreneurs, but if you have a fairly rigid job with something interesting about it and something to say, then that we'd love to hear from you. Yeah, exactly. I've been surprised by how many of our listeners do not have kids yet that are often younger professional women who are considering having kids in the next like say, you know, year to five years. And I think that many are listening to us to get a different voice on it, to know that it's not going to be this crazy, horrible, you know, stressed thing. That there are people who love their careers, love their families, rock and both hearing from our guests who are doing that as well. So that's that's been exciting because it makes me feel like we're you know, not just sharing strategies with people who are already in the trenches, but you know, given people a mindset that it might be different from some of those stories they see out there. So I quite like that. I think I would have enjoyed this podcast ten years ago. Well, if we started it ten years ago, we would have been oh my god, yes, absolutely, or even five years ago. Get in on that podcast growth curve. I mean, you know, it's growing rapidly now, I mean one of the like I've been meeting. We'll talk more about this another episode, but I've been meeting a lot of podcasters the past few and there's a lot of people who are like, oh, I've done ten episodes or I've done twenty episodes, like oh, we've already done fifty five who who oh yeah, we're like old school guard. Yeah oh except that. Yeah, no, that's so true. I wish we had done this before. I will say once I came up with the idea, well, we both had the idea independently, but like I put it on the blog one day and our podcast was born like a month later. Like, I'm impressed with us at how quickly we jumped on me. They are awesome on execution, So that is that is good? Well cool. Yeah, so we've we've had a really fun time at this. This has been I mean a massive highlight of my year. I you know, I have been really glad that we decided to me too, me too. It's been a massive highlight of going part time and then picking this up as like a bizarre hobby slash part time. I don't even know because again, not not really earning anything, but it's really fun. And gaining the audience is really fun. And talking to you guys and here from you guys and thinking of these great topics and meeting these guests. It's really it's pretty thrilling. Yeah, no, that's great. Well, so we want to pivot now to the second half of this episode. We're going to be talking about back to school. Because we're airing in late August, lots of people are sending their children back to school in the next two to three weeks. And I got to say every year I wind up getting a bunch of requests for you know, interviews and stuff around this time that people are all worried about their schedules, their time management, like how everything's going to work out. They go back to school, and it's kind of interesting to me. I mean, I you know, I think it's become built up as this like crazy time. I kind of like the build up though, like there's something kind of fun and like barkley about it. I think you like the school supplies, Yeah, that's actually yeah, visions of like well even like we got the catalog with like the backpacks in it, and I was like, ooh, you guys can pick it back back like that that stuff is doesn't get old for me, No, it doesn't. I like my school supplies too. I will probably be buying yet more pretty little notebooks because I love pretty little notebooks. And you know, back in the day, it was like so exciting when I could get a nice notebook, and you know, now I have like I keep buying them. And well you wrote that like when you know tip you have is buy your own school supplies, that it's fun, and I said, well, I bet my school supplies and sixty five days of the year, so some of us don't need like a special season for it. Every time I do love that, I'm over and then I mean that's still it's target. Like I haven't gone really high end, right, so it's like a limited, you know kind of thing. But I'm over there. I'm like, oh that's a pretty Nope. I just you know, it's like ten bucks. I think I could buy it, you know, then I do, and then it's it's a simple pleasure. It's a simple pleasure. But I have not had many brilliant thoughts to fill all these beautiful little notebooks. So I'm not really sure whatever that's okay about that so yeah, back to school hacks that horrible word talk about your your You have a spreadsheet, I have to tell us about the spreadsheet. So I have the activity spreadsheet and it is really it's my time tracking spreadsheet. So if we have anyone here who has downloaded my time tracking spreadsheet or you know whatever, it's just excel like it's not crazy, but it is the one hundred and sixty eight hours of a week in half hour blocks. It goes from five am Monday to five am Monday, with the days of the week across the top, half hour blocks across the left, and so you've got three hundred and thirty six cells. And I have actually mapped out the children's activities onto this spreadsheet because it allows me to see at a glance, like if a day has too much on it, then maybe we need to try to get in a different session of gymnastics as opposed to like the Tuesday one. Right, so maybe you sign up for the Thursday one instead of the Tuesday one because the kids have these activities on Tuesday which are only offered on Tuesdays. So then you know, we shouldn't sign up for extra stuff on Tuesday. It also helps us get into a rhythm. We do have some activities like karate, which are is offered like six days a week each of the children's levels. There's there are classes six days a week. You can come to whichever one you want, but it's helpful to keep going to the same one just because than that in you less confused is today the day or is not today? You want to get into some sort of rhythm with it, but so you can sort of assign that on it, you know, we can see what's going on in the weekend. It's also helped me in terms of you know, last year, I was really good about I was leaving one afternoon free, so I said, it was okay that we're going to be a little bit busier on other days, but Wednesday was going to be open, like we weren't going to have activities in and that way I knew it was always open for playdays, so the kids could just come home and relax and not have to go anywhere if they didn't want to. It was also a day then that I could definitely work later, which there's something to be said for that because often I wind up doing some of the driving and we have help with the driving. So it's not like I'm doing all the driving because I go with four a lot of times that you still need to you still need two drivers, which then I have to have another driver if I'm gone, you know, my husband's on here. So that was a goal to have sort of Wednesday and Friday sort of off as much as possible, and then be very busy Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. And yeah, but I got to say the spreadsheet has been helpful. It makes me, you know, it seems doable, and that I could share the spreadsheet with anyone else who needs to see the spreadsheet. Well, I saved my so I do like the same thing, but I draw it out. I mean it's essentially the same thing, and it like shows like each day and after school where they are, because that's sometimes hard to keep track, like which room you have to pick up on after school activities and in the times. Yeah, it's super helpful, and I will I actually save one. I don't want to give like my new one because then everyone could like stalk my kids. But I saved the one from last year, so you can. I can share that with them stock exactly, they won't be able to find them. Yeah, so I Yeah, I definitely think putting it all down so you can see it in one place and see each day and what's overlapping and what's not is really important. It's less to juggle for us, obviously because only two of mine are old enough to really be doing any activities. But I still am trying to keep things really streamlined in that if I can put them in the same place or have almost the same time pickup, then that's what they're going to do. And I will say I'm taking advantage of the fact that my four year old is pretty like he likes everything. He's pretty easy going at this stage, so you know, if there's a class that makes logistic sense, then that's what he's going to be taking. And I love the one day free thing. We're going to try to have Fridays be off cool. Well, that's a good day in general for that because then you're sort of going into family time or you know, some people you know have religious celebrations that they need to wind down by Friday evening anyway, so that's a good day for that. Definitely. Yeah, for us, it's like movie night and like just you know rest and sometimes I'm off on Fridays, so you know, I could pick them up and just be nice. Yeah. My other suggestion, I said, go ahead and put your own activities on the spreadsheet too, because you might see that actually you can do it, like you have space for something that you might want to do. What activities are you thinking about? Well, I mean I have mine already, is that I have my choir on Thursday nights and it's not meeting during the summer. So we've had a break from this now and sort of tell and you know, my family to kind of enjoy this time off from it, like I'm here, you know, unless I'm traveling, but you know, and also then I'm not singing on Sunday morning. We've decided to take the summer off from religion. Not really, we're not going to church as regular in the summer, and that's fine because they're not Sunday school anyway, so I would be sitting like with all my kids in church, and that's just well it might be you know, seasonality helps because you you'll enter with more vigor, starting fresh, starting, and so we're off from maybe organized religion in the summer, where you know, yes, uh, so we'll start again in the in the fall mid September, and I will have Thursday nights and then Sunday mornings that I'm going to try to. I want to get a little bit better about making the kids come with me, because I think they they should. I mean, I think, you know, meeting friends through your house of worship is good because it's not just the kids in your school, and then it's on more positive environment. Yeah, like it's another community, other community. The sixth is you know, they have a good middle school thing, which I think is also great and so he I think would actually enjoy it, like and plus I think they have donuts every week, so I think I might be able to talk that one up. But yeah, no, so I put in my own activity of Thursday night, and are you going to train for something like to do? Yeah, I was saying, like my activity might be that I pick a I might. I might do the Miami half marathon again next January, so that means in the fall I would start half half start training, So nothing too crazy. And I'm in two book clubs, the parenting one and the regular one. So yeah, that seems like a good number of activities. I do your own activities. I mean don't don't be so busy with your kids stuff that you don't do your own stuff. I mean, thus is the way of unhappy parenting. So make sure that your life works with the kids' activity schedule too, which I'm you know, I'm saying that, and I need to be better about it myself. I do definitely feel like the past year I have not I felt a little bit stressed about some of my shortened work days due to activities, which I think is not going to be improved as the kids get into more stuff and want to do more stuff, so I really need to do. But you've also had a super successful year that it's true. I mean I say like I've been earning more as I'm working less. I don't think it's actually related, though it's not all it's the same thing. It's that as I've had more of the things that you know I've done in the past payoff, that can pay off in terms of not having to do as much. And then also, and it's true, sometimes it doesn't matter what the output is if you feel stressed about it in your life, like if that week doesn't look like what you want your week to look like, because you're always getting cut off and you're always feeling rushed, then then it needs to be looked at. No, it's not true. I want to have some open space for ready, And partly that may be about being better about scheduling calls to certain times and meetings to certain times and leaving more open times during other points. But you know, I mean, I assume my middle schooler will have activities in the afternoon, but he'll be home from school a lot earlier, so that shortens it. On the other end, you know that is you have a big transition you're going You were talking about how one of your tips is that talking to other parents about those transitions before that happened. And I totally agree with you. I love to get intel from like older parents, the families with older kids, I sort of I tend to love to grill them. Maybe they get annoyed. You know what's the middle school like? Did they like it any Oh? I don't. They might always love to be asked stuff. But the idea that they're the experts and you're asking for advice like that is one of the most enjoyable human interactions of like, oh, I'm telling you the ways of the world. Like people love doing that. Well, I love to probe people in that way. So but you know, I, yeah, I spent much of my I went to like various things over the last year of like fifth grade parents, and I had asked the ones who were who had older children that they, you know, the fifth grader was their their youngest, you know what, They had their impressions of various things in the community and programs at the middle school and all this stuff, and you know, we the you know, my eleven year old is starting this particular program in middle school that he had to apply for, and there's a multiple, multiple multi disciplinary program that was an emphasis on art, which he really likes. But I wouldn't have known to apply if you know, we hadn't talked to other parents and had a sense that, oh, well, we know that kid and know that that kid is somewhat similar to ours, and you know, if it was a good fit for them, we should do it too. So yeah, that's we wouldn't have known it at all except for that, you know. Yeah, there are a lot of sort of between the lines types of things related to school and school activities. You can't ease. It's not easily google able. Stuff you know, yeah, you know, I liked your prot a so Sarah, I had put a note with this too. Oh yes, yeah, this is a pet peep of my husband and I. So we have a lot of and some of my friends are listening. So hi, No, I'm just kidding. A lot of my friends have sent their kids to private school for elementary and we go to the public school. You have to be very careful if you're doing that, not to make comments to sort of like justify your choice by putting down another because you can't because whether or not we chose public school because it was cheaper or because we felt it was the best choice, we would feel bad, right because either if we can't afford that echelon that you're talking about, or if like there's somehow implying that we made a stupid decision, it's like there's no way to win. So you can talk about being happy with your choice, I suppose, but you have to be very careful with that particular conversation territory. I think, yeah, or I mean, you know, or even if you're at you know your kids are in the public so you don't be like, oh, we would never send our kids to private school, only like creating right right, I mean no here, but often you know, when we've chosen certain things for our kids because we think it is the best option, but it's high, like you can't like it's such a high I don't know how to put this, Like it's a you know, people put a lot of thought into those choices, like it's probably not something that they did lightly. So it can feel very insulting. If if if, if if if someone I don't know, just gives a negation of slant to what you've done. Probably very thoughtful. Yeah, it just always PRIMISEU, Well, we thought it was right for our kid. Where our Yeah, and that's fine because that doesn't mean something else isn't right for another kid. And you know, we're all trying to do the best. So and I will say that most people are very thoughtful in that conversation. I've just been stuck in a few kind of group convos where it felt awkward. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Another tip we had designate a launching spot, so in our house, all shoes, backpacks, and coats go in the same place and they never leave, Like there is no taking your backpack up to your room, Like stuff can come out of the backpack, but then it needs to go right back in if it needs to be returned to school. For instance. Your coat also cannot go up to your room. Your shoes cannot go up to your room. They all have to be in the mudroom because you know, once one kid's shoes or in some other part of the house, like it's game over, like we're late for the bus or for you know, taking someone to school in the morning. So yeah, we have no mudroom. Definitely more the urban lifestyle here, but we have a bookshelf and that is our mudroom. We also don't have coats, so there you go. So all the backpacks school in this one shelf and it's like a I agree, launching pad all the way. Yeah, but because that we I mean knock on wood. But we never missed the bus last year, so that was good. That's amazing, amazing. I didn't stress much. I actually sort of outsourced my son. It didn't matter if he's on time. He's preschool. My daughter was in kindergarten and they're pretty sticklers. I kind of told her nanny, I hope that she'd be on time every day, and she did an amazing job. And I never worried about it, and I felt like, you know what, if she was late, fine, Actually, I take it back. I worried about it earlier in the year, and then towards the spring I sort of decided that I could not worry about it and it would be fine. And it was. Yeah, probably being late to kindergarten. It's not the world's biggest problem. Probably not. You know, people are always asking about lunches. I guess lunch lunch packing is a we As soon as our kids are able to buy school lunch, we have them. I put my note. Somebody recently called it hot lunch to me, which I love, like it's, oh, the kids get a hot lunch. Because some people there's sometimes some negative discussion of school lunch, which I say, most places have gotten a lot better since you were a kid. If you're listening to this and you're in our sort of target age demographic, it's definitely improved since the Sloppy Joes of I'm still I mean, this is where you know, this podcast is different voices and different opinions. Sometimes I'm not quite as sould on it, but I think I agree. It's one meal out of the day. So if your kids like it and they'll eat it, and they prefer that then and it's easier go for it. I've gone the other easy route, which is again I sort of earned any preps the lunch from our leftovers most nights, and our kids are younger, so I'm less likely to get a lot of pushback. I'm sure at some point, although our daughter is that I don't want to buy the lunch. It looks yucky. So there you go. We can use up leftovers and I kind of know what she's eating, which I like. We can see too that actually we can see you know, Yes, I love that, so you know they're not I've heard that, like it's you know, they're not just eating chips for lunch or something like that. Yeah, I also like the idea of them making a selection, like you know that this is and kids can make their own lunches too, by the way, you know this is. Yeah, that can very easily and they have motivation to do it in the sense that then they get stuff that they like. So you know, as soon as the kids might be capable of all of that, sort of supervise them doing it. But yeah, you definitely can have them start to take that on, although I love that. So you packed bread for your son at a Jewish school during pass ever, well, you know, our nanny packed bread and I didn't tell her not to pack it bread, So it is absolutely my fault. But I literally got a phone call that was a little bit more defying. They're like, has bread? We are at the unleavened days these Yeah, They're like, we gave them some mots and I'm like thanks, because obviously we don't keep Passover, so that was, Yeah, that was a little embarrassing, but we do. We do pack lunches every day. Put major school dates on your calendar as soon as you get them. My guess is that your school district has probably published dates for this upcoming school year. They probably had them out as of like the end of the yeah, January, I think or December exactly. How that they tend to approve the dates for the next year well in advance, so you could pretty soon the ones for twenty nineteen twenty twenty will be out, So you might want to get those on your calendar ahead of time, because then you know, you know to ask for say spring break off or what the particular you know, holiday winter break is so once you know these things, you can you know if you're going to absolutely for us, it's key. Yeah, it's key because we have to do our call schedules for twenty nineteen. So yeah, I almost need I almost need fall of twenty nineteen as well. I don't have that yet, but I mean, obviously there's some flexibility there. But yeah, spring break, vacations, other kind of stuff. Usually the school of the availability of the school calendar kind of triggers us to do one of our couple of yearly planning summits where we figure out what vacations we want to take and kind of big picture what holidays we want to work and don't want to work, and whether you want to have another baby, right, Like, that's another of your summing decisions. I can already tell you the answer to that one. No, at least at least right now, No, I think for real. Yeah, all right, Well, speaking of having multiple kids and the logistics of that, you know, so the reminder on homework and school projects, that, yeah, tell me how that works, because you know, right now I'm in that I have one in kindergartens or one going into first grade. So last year I just had one kid. That had homework, and the parents in her class definitely seem to be giving the homework a lot of attention. Like sometimes I would get a what's up thing from a parent that's like, what's the answer to number seven? I'm like, wow, this was that I did not really do a lot of the homework. Our nanny helped Annabelle with her homework and it was fine and if she got something wrong, that's okay, because that's, in my opinion, part of the point of homework. And it definitely made me think when I had Genevieve, like, oh, there's no way I'm going to be micromanaging, you know, my six year old's homework when I also at that point it will have a twelve year old in the ten year old, Like, everyone's going to have to be their own homework at our house, and as they should, because you have already been through fifth grade. So it's not testing you, it's not making sure that you know this stuff. It's it's about your kids. Yeah. So my general thought is the kids are responsible for it, and if they forget it, they forget it. If they don't do it, they have you know, I can remind them, but on some level, it's they're the ones who are going to have to, you know, answer to their teacher. And how about the age old I left my thing at home, mom, can you bring it in? So in general, we you know, try to think about that before you leave as much as possible. We've brought lunches that have been forgotten for you know, the kindergartnener had to have lunch because there wasn't Oh yeah, be hungry. Yeah, I mean, it's I I really think. I mean, the point of school is preparing students to be respond possible and independent citizens. And so again, you know, I've already been through fifth grade. It's not about whether I know how to do. It's interesting because we got some homework for kindergarten that would require reading, like in the beginning of the year to decipher the homework, but the kids weren't reading yet, So I mean to some extent, I mean, and my sister in law, who's a wonderful teacher, she kind of encourages parental involvement in the homework, not the parents are doing the homework. But then at the same time, the more kids you have and the more you're working outside the home. I just wonder how how realistic that is. And I do want to to try to be supportive, but I think homework is going to have to be for the kids. We'll see how that you've always as they get older. Well, and we definitely talk about you know, you do your homework first, like okay, we do ask like do you have homework? Okay, but you have it assigned weekly, you know my generals, And I don't want you to leave it to Thursday night. That's because it comes up. And also I have a choir Thursday night. So I'm not going to be able to deal with anything if you discover that there's something you don't understand, So do it earlier in the week, do it before where you do video games to it, you know, that kind of thing. But yeah, I I'm also trying to teach the idea of go back and check your work, which is also not an intuitive skill necessarily for everyone. But yeah, no, it's uh. I think, don't stress about all this stuff, and you'll be in a routine. In the first few weeks you're figuring out a new routine, but you'll figure it out. You know. Any individual homework assignment is not the end of the world, you know, your kids will be fine, They'll figure it out, so relax, try to enjoy it. All that kind stuff. All right, you can buy a new backpack y, speaking of backpacks, speaking of yes, our Q. This is a very quick Q and A because this has been a long episode already. Uh well, hopefully hopefully somebody's commute really well. I got this on Instagram said, I'm a PhD student and desperately need an alternative to the backpack. I'm getting confused for an undergrad and can't seem to wear a dress in the backpack at the same time. So I just want to to give this person permission to go ahead and move on from the backpack. And I will say, like, I've seen myself in the mirror with my bag that I have right now, which I really love, and I'm like, that bag really makes me look much more impressive than I otherwise would look. Well, definitely when you like walking around the hospital one hundred percent. I mean it really makes the outfit to have a fairly professional looking bag. And I am currently am really obsessed with my low tough work bag and now also tote that I used to carry around my pump, which has been like the one thing I like about pumping is I get to carry around this really pretty extra bag. But of course there are all kinds of options. I think the leather or vegan leather kind of looks are a little bit more professional. I think the sort of doctor's bag style just that sort of you know, big enough for a laptop, but also with some three dimensionality to it can be very professional looking and practical. Zip tops are awesome. I have that for my work bag, and I think it's you know, if you can invest in a bag that you really like that looks professional. I always think bags and coats like they last a really long time. You literally have them on your person every single day. They can bring together your sort of entire presentation. Those are the things to invest on. Yeah, definitely you want like a tote bag that is big enough for your laptop, I think is what you know, especially since she is still in school and she's probably working in different places and carrying it around, that that has been key. So my purse bag is a tote bag that is it's coach. It's this baby blue color and it's big enough for my laptop. And so that's what I have is my carry one of my carry ons when I get on the plane, which has been key, Like I wouldn't want to have a purse that I then couldn't use as something to carry, you know, the laptop, And definitely try them on and find one that kind of cradles on your arm well, because you know, there are bags that are more comfortable than others, and I find that that makes a difference of whether I'm pleased to carry it around and sling it from the card it's a work, or whether I find just annoying wish I was carrying it back back. Yeah, all right, so time to trade up new bag for our student here is wanting to look more professional. So love of the week, what's your love of the week? Well, we could both have this love of the week agains. Yeah, okay, our love of the week is this podcast. I'll just say that the love of the week is this podcast. It's been so fun and we really enjoy it and we are greatly hoping that this is something that continues. And again look for our survey coming your way soon. You can always connect with us through Laura's blog she does a weekly post, or the Instagram Best of Both Worlds podcasts on insta and if you're actually wanting to shuffle through episodes, you can actually go to Best of worldspodcast dot com and they're all listed there. This has been our back to school and anniversary episode number fifty five. Tune in next week for yet more another starting another year, on how to make work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.