Demi Burnett: Sometimes You Have to Kill the Vibe | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, we're back for part two with Demi. Let's get right into it. So every week, Demi, we do some bachelor, we do some questions and from our listeners, and we give them some expert golden advice.

00:00:25
Speaker 2: You are not a golden but we would love you to join in.

00:00:28
Speaker 3: I'm a golden head.

00:00:29
Speaker 1: You're okay? So are you ready to join in when we give these questions?

00:00:33
Speaker 3: Sure?

00:00:34
Speaker 2: All right, go for it. Susan, all right, here's the first one.

00:00:37
Speaker 4: Hi, Kathy and Susan and Demi. I love your podcast so much. Anyway, I'm bisexual, and I've noticed when I date men they sometimes treat it like a fantasy or don't take it seriously. It makes me feel misunderstood. How do I set boundaries around that without it killing the vibe?

00:01:00
Speaker 2: Early on?

00:01:01
Speaker 4: And her name is Candace, and she's from Vermont.

00:01:05
Speaker 3: Kansas, My Kansas, Candace, My love, Candace, my love. I think you like you can say, like set your boundary, like, hey, this isn't a fantasy, and I don't like that. And if it kills the vibe, okay, who cares? You're gonna kill the vibe in life? Sometimes it happens. And if the person though doesn't respond to that, well, then see ya, bucko, see ya that The boundary is if you don't respect this, then I leave. There is no me trying to convince you, because there you cannot convince someone like no, you have the respect the self respect comes from, like walking away when someone else is not respecting you after you've asked.

00:01:44
Speaker 2: And do you know what I love about what you just said that I made.

00:01:47
Speaker 1: That that extends beyond uh, bisexual, polyamorous. It doesn't matter what we're talking about. Mutual respect. Everything you just said, appropriate boundaries, mutual respect. That's in any relationship, and hit the road, bucko, for any of those reasons, not just bisexual.

00:02:08
Speaker 2: So yeah, you I love that?

00:02:10
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, all right?

00:02:11
Speaker 2: Can't just let us know. We want to hear what.

00:02:13
Speaker 4: Happens apologetically authentically yourself.

00:02:17
Speaker 2: There you go.

00:02:18
Speaker 1: All right, here's the next one. My girls, and now you're one of us, Pemmy. I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of almost relationships. I'll meet someone, we hit it off immediately, we're texting all all day, going on dates, sleeping over. It feels like a relationship in every way except the title. And then around the two to three month mark, they pull back or say they're not ready. It's happened three times in a row. Now I can't tell if I'm picking the wrong people or if I'm doing something that makes them not want to commit. At what point do you stop giving someone the best benefit of the doubt and just walk away? And this is from Chelsea in Los Angeles? So what do you think, Demi? What do you say for Chelsea?

00:03:07
Speaker 3: Chelsea? You immediately give up giving them the benefit of the doubt, immediately out of there, benefit of the doubt gone. Every man should be proving to you how he isn't like the others, because he should know that how they are all acting right now, and it's like that, it's they're so sketchy and they don't give you clear answers, and it's all them just trying to do this with multiple women, and it's it's gross and it's confusing for us. So men should be aware of that and be like, Okay, I'm going to show her how I'm not like that, because she You know, the second a woman shows like a sign of an insecurity or something, it's like, oh, yeah, I understand why you think that, because every guy out here is a dirt bag, treating you like you aren't really a human and you're just like there for his pleasure. But I'm not. Here's how I don't want to do that.

00:03:52
Speaker 4: Go Okay, wait, I want to be You should ask a question are we in every like? When do you? She's nussing until the end? I didn't get that. Yeah, honest, see, should you have a conversation about are we in a committed relationship?

00:04:09
Speaker 3: No?

00:04:09
Speaker 4: No, so when do.

00:04:11
Speaker 3: You He's not doing that? If he's not doing that, then just stop stop immediately, immediately, stop all communication, and he'll probably start crawling on his hands and knees begging for you back if you all of a sudden like a cold ghost him. But chances are he might actually if you're in LA, he's got another vagina and he's planning later.

00:04:31
Speaker 1: Okay, but wait, TEMI god, you do love how much she loves men? I can't get I just it is seeping through every comment you make, your love of all things male. But here's my question. If if I'm just gonna play Devil's advocate like I do with Susan a lot, if Chelsea is that her name, Chelsea?

00:04:51
Speaker 2: If Chelsea is quote unquote.

00:04:54
Speaker 1: Uh, sleeping with the guy, texting, cooking for him, going on dates.

00:04:59
Speaker 2: I hate to be the golden hair.

00:05:01
Speaker 1: You know, why should he buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free? Like if she's doing all that, she's giving him everything he wants with nothing in return. So yeah, well yeah, but that's but I think Susan's right. She needs to either slow her role and not be, you know, so eager.

00:05:18
Speaker 2: To please, or have the conversation.

00:05:21
Speaker 1: Look, we're going on dates, we're sleeping together, We're spend a lot of time at each other's places. Are we in a committed relationship? I think you have to have that conversation communication the guy.

00:05:31
Speaker 3: If the guy has that in mind, he's going to say it to you. He's going to bring it up without you ever having to question it.

00:05:39
Speaker 4: Like I read the men today. DEMI, Well, I'm.

00:05:43
Speaker 3: Talking about the last relationship I was in. He loved bombed the shit out of me. But but I mean I never I never questioned ever what we were, how he felt about me, anything like that. And it was because he really wanted me, and he wanted me to feel secure and wanted me probably because he wanted me to make feel.

00:06:00
Speaker 2: That way, Oh God, yourself. Start.

00:06:05
Speaker 3: You spend a lot of time by yourself, you know, getting to know what's wrong with you or like what's going on in your brain, and it helps you. It helps you not only like understand yourself, but like I said, others and have a lot of compassion. It's like you understand why people are in a bad mood. You know, You're not just like, wow, that person's a jerk. You're like, this has nothing to do with me.

00:06:23
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:06:24
Speaker 4: Most question, though, at what point do you stop giving someone the benefit of the doubt and walk away when you feel it's time.

00:06:34
Speaker 3: I think that the second you're wondering if you need to give them the benefit of the doubt or not is when you need to back it up.

00:06:40
Speaker 4: You need to questioning yourself, just like you said earlier. When you're starting to question, excuse me, like you said about Taylor, maybe that's why she took all those roses back when she starts getting in her own head. Why is that person making me feel this way? You know I'm feeling a certain way because of then exactly so?

00:07:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I know that feeling, and I second I get that feeling. I'm out all right?

00:07:09
Speaker 1: We got Chelsea, you gotta let us know if Demi, if you took our advice and you're out, like Demi said, I think let us know, Chelsea and.

00:07:16
Speaker 3: Chelsea, no more cooking for people unless they have seriously committed to you like.

00:07:23
Speaker 4: You go like I love to cook for people, and I'd be like, listen, I don't do this for anybody, So let's sit down and have a conversation.

00:07:30
Speaker 1: And Demi's in my case, we don't do it. Even if the guy puts a ten car ring on her hand, that just means I'm going to make more reservations that I.

00:07:38
Speaker 3: Know before he can afford a private Shepherd day.

00:07:41
Speaker 2: I'm right. I'm with you, Demi all the way.

00:07:43
Speaker 4: Okay. The next one is from Anna from San Francisco. Hey, my Golden Queen's. I've noticed that I tend to lose interest right after someone starts showing real interest in me. In the beginning, I'm excited and invested, But the second it becomes clear that they like me back, something in me shuts off. It's like I only want what feels uncertain. I know that's probably not healthy, but I don't know how to change it. Where do you even start with something like that.

00:08:18
Speaker 3: Oh baby, let me tell you this. It's called avoidant attachment stuff. Right, look into it, look style, it'll help you.

00:08:31
Speaker 1: Hundred got the text book answer absolutely, one hundred percent. I was thinking, when for you to answer demicquing this check is an avoidant, That's what she is.

00:08:40
Speaker 3: I'm an avoidant, so I give it.

00:08:42
Speaker 4: Is that like emotionally unavailable? Is it the same?

00:08:47
Speaker 3: It's it's when people start to become too much and I'm like, oh, like I just I want to run away, and I just it's like my freedom. They value their freedom very very much. I think for me, it's like it's like my autonomy. I all of a sudden get scared that I'm not going to be emotionally responsible for someone, and I'm like, I don't. I don't want to have to do that, or like just I can make up any excuse. It's just like closeness makes me want to run.

00:09:11
Speaker 4: Ye, what's your suggestion to help her?

00:09:14
Speaker 2: Well?

00:09:14
Speaker 3: She? If you become aware of it, it helps a lot, just knowing that, like why you're doing it, and then you can explain it to other people as well, Like if you're in a relationship with someone and you do think this is a good person for you, or you're like starting to get in a relationship but you feel that feeling. You can maybe explain, Hey, I'm an avoidant attachment style, Like it's not you. I promise this is not personal, but like, here's maybe how you can help me, like give me some space for the next few days, you know, maybe make me miss you, you know, like work with me. Right.

00:09:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, Demi, you are one hundred percent right on the money. So anna find out what an avoidant is and you might get the answers to your question. Let's move on. The last one is from Maxie in Arizona. Hi, Kathy and Susan and Demi. I'm thirty four and I swear dating used to feel fun, but now every date feels like a job interview. Within ten minutes, I'm thinking about long term compatibility, values, kids, timelines, and I can feel myself getting anxious instead of just enjoying the person in front of me. I don't want to waste time, but I also feel like I'm running the experience for myself. How do you balance being intentional without putting so much pressure on every single date?

00:10:34
Speaker 3: Wow?

00:10:34
Speaker 4: I'll answer first for me. It was quite the opposite. I never thought about future. I was always in the moment, and a lot of times I should have thought further because it didn't work out. But it's quite the opposite of what she's doing.

00:10:51
Speaker 3: Well.

00:10:51
Speaker 1: I think this DEMI is called anxious attachment, and there is one. You know, she gets anxious. So the minute she meets somebody, she glomming onto them. Maxie, I think, you know what's.

00:11:03
Speaker 3: Happening to me. My avoidant attention style is being triggered. And I'm literally like going into shock. I was like, I don't know what's going on with her. I don't like it all.

00:11:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, she's this is my guest, she's thirty four. She she feels like it's a job interview, because I think what she's not saying is for her, it is a job interview. She's looking for the guy to mate, to have kids, to build a life with, and she's feeling the time pressure of being thirty four maybe to have kids, and so that's the anxious attachment.

00:11:35
Speaker 2: I got to do this. I got to do it now. But I don't do it now, it's not gonna work. I gotta do it. That's anxious attachment.

00:11:41
Speaker 4: On the date. Though. You want to see if you're compatible, right, you want to see if you're having fun.

00:11:45
Speaker 2: But that's what she's saying.

00:11:47
Speaker 1: Within ten minutes, Susan, she's thinking about those things, which to me is she's jumping the gun because she needs that attachment. She's looking for that guy to attach to. And as opposed to an avoidant, she the exact opposite.

00:12:01
Speaker 2: She's running to the all he may run because of it.

00:12:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, may suggestion, could could If you could be a lesbian, it would be great because they are tall. That is lesbian. Love that ship.

00:12:16
Speaker 2: Here you go, Maxie, you could be anything out of it really, just.

00:12:20
Speaker 3: Like slow down, enjoy the moment, and and just go into all of it knowing like, hey, this might be a bust, but who cares. It's a free meal. And I just think about that this might this might be a bust. Like expect nothing, low expectations.

00:12:33
Speaker 1: Then all book, I love it, all right, Maxie, let us know how it goes. We we really hope that you know you you find the guy and that and the job interview turns.

00:12:43
Speaker 2: Into uh something else.

00:12:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, all right, you can submit your burning questions to us. By all you have to do is go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour.

00:12:56
Speaker 2: Come back each week.

00:12:57
Speaker 1: We love answering your questions, and who knows, we may answer your question absolutely.

00:13:03
Speaker 4: Okay, you're ready? Am I the Problem? This week? Demi is going to help us play a game called am I the Problem? We're going to give you some dating situations and she has to tell us whether that person is the problem or not.

00:13:24
Speaker 2: Are you with us? Yea?

00:13:25
Speaker 3: I love it.

00:13:26
Speaker 4: I stopped texting back because they didn't double text. First of all, wait, what is a double text?

00:13:36
Speaker 1: That you write a text, they don't answer, you send another text that's a double text. Instead of waiting for them to respond, you send multiple texts.

00:13:45
Speaker 4: So I stopped texting back.

00:13:47
Speaker 1: In other words, Susan, you write a guy a text and you say, hey, how are you doing today? He doesn't answer back, so then you say are you busy today? That's double texting, And so the woman stops texting because he's not responding.

00:14:02
Speaker 3: I think that he he doubled. She's upset that he didn't double text her.

00:14:07
Speaker 1: Right, right, I gave the opposite example, but yes, maybe he didn't do what she wanted?

00:14:13
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, right, yes, yes, who's the problem.

00:14:18
Speaker 3: I mean, she's the problem, the problem.

00:14:21
Speaker 1: There you go.

00:14:21
Speaker 3: But I'm also like, maybe no one's the problem, because what's what happened? Like, did no one end up ever texting again? Because maybe maybe then she did the right thing, because now she saved them both from an incompatible relationship.

00:14:33
Speaker 2: I here's the next one. I like that. I like that.

00:14:36
Speaker 1: Okay, I've been on So is this person the problem or not? I've been on three dates with this person and they're great on paper, but I don't feel the sparks. So I keep picking fights to see if there's passion.

00:14:51
Speaker 3: Picking fights that's toxic.

00:14:54
Speaker 4: She's the problem?

00:14:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, uh, well, we don't know. It could be a guy. Whoever you are, person, you are the problem.

00:15:02
Speaker 2: Knock it off.

00:15:03
Speaker 1: Raise your hand if we agree. Everyone's hands going up there.

00:15:07
Speaker 4: Okay, I checked their Instagram. Oh I checked their Instagram following before agreeing to the date.

00:15:18
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:15:20
Speaker 4: Really.

00:15:20
Speaker 3: Here here's the thing. I kind of think so that I respect a detective detective, you know, like someone doing their detective work. Like I mean, I okay.

00:15:32
Speaker 4: So if they have a huge following, you'll go on the date. But if they don't, you're le like oh, oh, I.

00:15:36
Speaker 3: Thought that they meant I thought that they meant that they looked at their following. Oh to say, I want to say, I'm going on a date with the guy, and I'm gonna go look at his following to make sure he's not following Donald Trump before I go on a date. That's what I th That's where I'm like, well, this is smart, this is actually could be very smart. Not the problem at all.

00:15:54
Speaker 4: Actually I like it.

00:15:56
Speaker 2: All right. How about the next one.

00:15:58
Speaker 1: I told them I hate games, but I definitely play them to keep things interesting.

00:16:05
Speaker 3: You're nasty, stopping, You're the problem.

00:16:10
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree, definitely. I love you.

00:16:13
Speaker 3: I love you.

00:16:14
Speaker 4: I complain that I can't find a good partner, but I only swipe right on emotionally unavailable people. Am I the problem? Well yes, how does she know they're emotionally unavailable?

00:16:29
Speaker 3: Well, they're emotionally unavailable. That's the thing, all right. Any man above a seven, forget about it, forget about it.

00:16:36
Speaker 1: They are wait yeah, whoa whoa wa, No, no, no wait, explain what that means?

00:16:42
Speaker 2: Any man above a seven?

00:16:44
Speaker 3: They have the world handed to them at this point. Okay, if you're like an attractive Maleman, it is a rare commodity. All right, us women, we are so beautiful. All of us are beautiful. Okay, all of us are considered a ten in this room. All right, we can all be a ten, but a man, oh he we're lucky if we're getting a six, you know what I mean. Like the Bachelorette group of guys, there's like maybe one nine in there every now and then, but like they're all pretty mid. Like there aren't but the bachelor ladies. The most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life.

00:17:16
Speaker 4: It's true.

00:17:17
Speaker 2: I tell you. I can tell you.

00:17:19
Speaker 1: The golden men are mid. I mean, Susan, we were rolling over for that.

00:17:24
Speaker 3: Men are mid. Men are mid. So when there is an attractive man like one who I'm like, oh wow, he's so hot. Oh I know he is nothing but trouble because every woman is feeling that way and is just going to I mean, my leg's open, give it to me like pathetic. You know what I mean.

00:17:42
Speaker 4: You are the problem, and you better go first seven or under. It says, yeah, yeah, yeah, better luck.

00:17:50
Speaker 1: Oh god, okay, this one is too good because I don't know. The only zodiac sign I know is my own. I lost interest after finding out there's zodiac sign problems.

00:18:08
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, probably, Yeah, you're the problem. Sorry, I was just thinking about it. I was like, what zodiac sign am I disgusted by enough that it would turn me off? And I couldn't think of it. Yeah, they're the problem.

00:18:20
Speaker 1: Me's going through month by month yep, Nope, yep, yep, yep.

00:18:24
Speaker 3: I'm like, would any of those really turn me off? You know the one I kind of got. I got a little caught up on Capricorn, but that was only because the corn was in it. And then I was like, I love Capricorns.

00:18:34
Speaker 4: I know so many that I love, or or you're thinking like maybe your ex was a certain sign and you find out this one's the same sign. That's the only one. I wouldn't even think about that.

00:18:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're the problem. I've had so many different experiences with people that are the same signs that it's like it has more to just do with that zodiac sign. You know, you gotta look at the big three, what's the rising? Where's the moon?

00:18:57
Speaker 4: Okay, that's why I don't do it.

00:18:58
Speaker 1: Wait, that's why I don't do you hear what she said? The moon, the rising the seventh sun. I'm like, it's too complicated. Just tell me when your birds and I'll send you a card. That's all done, that's okay.

00:19:10
Speaker 4: I say it's fine when it's not fine.

00:19:14
Speaker 3: Got to be direct, you're the problem. You got to be direct because we people are not mind readers. You cannot expect people to know what you're thinking and to do what you are expecting them to do, because you would do that, Like you have to tell them.

00:19:27
Speaker 4: Is that one of our laws to be true to ourselves. Yeah, how do you expect to find happiness if you're not true to yourself, true to your word.

00:19:36
Speaker 2: Well, I think a lot of people here.

00:19:38
Speaker 1: I agree with you, Demi what you said, but I think a lot, and I hate to say it, it's mostly women. They're insecure and they say it's fine, I'm good, it's fine, when really they're so pissed off, so disappointed, so angry, whatever the emotion.

00:19:52
Speaker 3: You've been trained to not be a problem. Women have been trained to solve problems, to fix everything, to manage the house, like to be the fixer, and it's not to ever disrupt things and to cause problems. We're trained to stay in line and like, I mean, it's very it's not obvious, but it's ingrained in our culture.

00:20:11
Speaker 1: In our society, we are pretty amazing, aren't we.

00:20:14
Speaker 2: Though we do fix problems, we are.

00:20:18
Speaker 3: We are more amazing than man in every way.

00:20:20
Speaker 4: Like I compare everyone I date to my ex.

00:20:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're the problem.

00:20:31
Speaker 4: Agree, go ahead, Kathy, Okay.

00:20:35
Speaker 1: I told them, Oh this is me. I told them I loved a spontaneous plan. Oh no, I don't get annoyed. Okay, let me start over here. I told them I loved spontaneous plans, but every time they make one, I get annoyed because they already had a routine.

00:20:49
Speaker 2: Am I the problem? Hell?

00:20:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, you are, because you don't like spontaneous plans exactly.

00:20:55
Speaker 1: Ye stop saying you don't. I love I love case plan, yeah.

00:21:01
Speaker 4: Exactly to get surprised to do something like, yes, I.

00:21:05
Speaker 3: Am like spontaneous and routine or polar oppersite. It's not like spontaneous.

00:21:13
Speaker 4: I expect them to plan every date. Show me a woman that expects that.

00:21:21
Speaker 3: Uh me, because that's why we're single. Because they won't and I'm not settling for less. All Right, you better have.

00:21:28
Speaker 4: Something I like to plan, because then you do something I want to do.

00:21:32
Speaker 3: I tell them what I want to do. I say, I want to do something fun, like a physical activity, like we can go to puppa where you go to amusement park when you do anything like that, or go painting or like something, do something.

00:21:43
Speaker 2: Don't.

00:21:43
Speaker 3: I can't sit there at the restaurant with you, please.

00:21:45
Speaker 4: So I expect them to plan every date. Is she the problem? No?

00:21:50
Speaker 3: Or he?

00:21:51
Speaker 2: It could be a male yes.

00:21:53
Speaker 3: If it's she no, Oh god.

00:21:56
Speaker 1: There's no double standards with Let me just say I find it very attractive if a man plans states. But what I find irritating And this has happened to me many times men You know they say one thing and do another. Right, Oh, I love to do spontaneous states. I love to do hike, and I love to play golf. And you're dating them, They're like, no, they really don't.

00:22:20
Speaker 2: They just don't.

00:22:21
Speaker 1: You know, they don't really want to go play golf or hike because you know, their feet hurt, their golf clubs are rusty.

00:22:27
Speaker 2: You know, they got a hundred excuses. I know it's been my experience.

00:22:36
Speaker 4: Last but not least, I ghosted because the vibe fell off. But I can't explain why. I mean, you don't ghost?

00:22:52
Speaker 3: I mean, but but I I did ghost someone recently because not recently, it was a few years ago ago, okay, because I found out, uh one of my friends sent me a tweet of like something about him doing something like hooking up with some girl on another show.

00:23:12
Speaker 4: Okay, so you couldn't cancel it, you just ghost. Have you ever been ghosted?

00:23:17
Speaker 3: Actually? I said, I said, I read some unsavory things about you online. Okay, so I'm not interested in hanging out today.

00:23:24
Speaker 4: It's not ghosting. Then ghosting is not showing up right?

00:23:27
Speaker 3: Well, then he any messages after that?

00:23:30
Speaker 1: I think it depends how long I will say, Susan, I have ghosted men, but it's only like we had one talk and for me, one phone conversation whatever. And to me, the vibe feels off. So I say, okay, you know I've got a run, and then I block him.

00:23:47
Speaker 2: I'm out.

00:23:47
Speaker 1: I don't I don't feel like I don't feel like I owe a man an explanation, if not just from one, but in a relationship. If you feel the vibe is off and you're in a relationship, then you are the problem because you have gone and told the person, what the problem is, what your problem is?

00:24:04
Speaker 3: Why you feel absolutely And I.

00:24:07
Speaker 4: Think being ghosted is the most uncomfortable feeling because you don't know why. I'd rather it's so easy in today's world.

00:24:15
Speaker 3: You said it, you know.

00:24:17
Speaker 4: I just don't feel spark or move along, right whatever. It's just too easy to have someone question themselves like why would he do that to me? Or why would she do that to me? I think that's mean.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: Well it is, it is mean, but like in dating culture, it is everyone's very hardened to that. Like is it's people just they think that that's normal and fine and okay. So like everyone has already like been damaged and traumatized with going through that so many times, and everyone's just doing it to each other. It's just it's a toxic.

00:24:52
Speaker 4: It's wrong.

00:24:53
Speaker 3: It is wrong. Ghosting is wrong. Ghosting is very wrong.

00:24:57
Speaker 1: Wait, can we do another podcast with your Demi about all the things that are wrong in today's dating culture? Because we could go on for two hours about.

00:25:07
Speaker 4: We should go live with Demi one and just talking.

00:25:10
Speaker 1: I'm just saying between what you have said, Demi about your own dating experiences, what we have experienced. You know, these these am I the problem prompts like the dating world is screwed up right now.

00:25:25
Speaker 3: It is up from thirty to all the way up. I don't know how how old of men you're willing to date, but.

00:25:33
Speaker 1: If they're above ground, Demi, they're breathing, ambulatory.

00:25:40
Speaker 2: I don't ask for much even you know, just just I don't.

00:25:43
Speaker 4: Know how do you fix it?

00:25:47
Speaker 3: We have to stop giving them access, stop being so accessible to them. If you're if you're not accessible to them, they interest immediately, like they are just they're they're they're easy creatures to figure out. But for me, I'm just really not attracted to any of them that haven't figured it out already. And none of them really have seemed to figure it out because they are reaping the benefits of the dating pool because it works for them. The dating pool is amazing for men right now.

00:26:14
Speaker 1: Wait, can I just say, Demi, you you are so right Well this has been this has been a much fun, Debbie.

00:26:21
Speaker 3: You.

00:26:22
Speaker 1: I don't care what you think about men or women or dating. I think you really give some good advice. You're very insightful, you're lovely, You're a really interesting person, and I have personally have enjoyed getting to know you a little bit better. And if we do a show together, the three of us, I promise you Susan and I will fight over who's bringing you food.

00:26:46
Speaker 2: Okay, you will not have to worry me.

00:26:47
Speaker 4: Let me just tell you I'll be bringing both of your food. Okay, just don't believe that, lie, I can't bring your food. Well, it involves cooking it.

00:26:58
Speaker 3: So you'll cook the food and give it to me.

00:27:00
Speaker 2: There you go. I'll be the food runner.

00:27:03
Speaker 3: Run.

00:27:05
Speaker 4: This has been awesome. Seriously, Kathy, and I'll come live on you anytime you want. If you want to talk about the dating thing, maybe we could get across to somebody, at least one person if we touch one person that's doing something and you know what, Susan, go ahead.

00:27:21
Speaker 3: Down Well, it's helpful for women to see to know that, like you, you can be okay by yourself and it's scared, but like it is so empowering and it is actually the happiest you will ever be because when you warn with a man, it is no longer about you, and that sucks. Again, it should it should be. And some women, some women have their men trained right, and those women they need more exposure. We need to get them on all the platforms. We need to see men acting write.

00:27:53
Speaker 1: And can I tell you how you you asked, Susan, how do we get men?

00:27:56
Speaker 2: You know how we do it.

00:27:58
Speaker 1: All You moms out there that are listening to raising little boys, raise your boys to be respectful, kind human beings and never say, oh, boys will be boys as they throw a snowball at a girl's head.

00:28:11
Speaker 3: And you know, neighbors, exactly, you should be raising your boys to worship women because women are everything to them. Not only did they birth them, but they're taken care of them. And like, without them, it would be this world would be shit, Like there would.

00:28:28
Speaker 4: Be no world. There wouldn't be a world. They can't reproduce exactly exactly.

00:28:33
Speaker 3: But but women have We are so much kinder like we have, We're more, we're smarter, we are everything better and they need to understand our value and respect us as such.

00:28:44
Speaker 2: But it doesn't start.

00:28:45
Speaker 1: But what doesn't start when they're twenty or thirty, That's what I'm saying, Moms, pay attention.

00:28:51
Speaker 2: It starts with how you raise your sons.

00:28:55
Speaker 4: Yes, and I was a lot of good, good decent men out there where that to be taken exactly.

00:29:02
Speaker 3: I am friends with some I'm friends with men. I know, if you believe it or not, but I have some very good friends that are men, and they are my friend's husbands and stuff like that.

00:29:10
Speaker 4: Exactly.

00:29:11
Speaker 1: Wait, can I just tell you what someone just told me the other day when I was could that chain about not having anyone to date, they said, Kathy, you are fabulous.

00:29:20
Speaker 2: Here's the problem.

00:29:23
Speaker 1: Really good men are either married or chasing younger women or dead.

00:29:30
Speaker 3: Well's end of my way. All right. If you see a really good man chasing a younger woman and you think.

00:29:35
Speaker 2: You one an older guy, you want a sixty.

00:29:38
Speaker 3: If I could stomach him, it depends on I think all three of us are very good on our We're very happy. I mean, I could not imagine sharing my space. You know that's that sounds like a nightmare to me. I mean, no, no, no, no, no. A wife. I'm very interested in a whe that I would love. I would love nothing more than a wife.

00:30:03
Speaker 4: Because it's two women. You like the same kind of things. You keep pass It's just.

00:30:07
Speaker 3: Exactly exactly what I want to me.

00:30:10
Speaker 2: Are you are you looking? Are you looking for that right now? Or not? You said no, No, I'm not looking.

00:30:16
Speaker 3: I'm on I'm on Riot, but like my membership is just active. I don't like go scrolling on there. But like every now and then, like I'll get a notification that someone likes me or something, or me and my friends will go scrolling through and see.

00:30:27
Speaker 4: They didn't accept me.

00:30:30
Speaker 3: I could send them recommendations.

00:30:32
Speaker 2: I think we're too old.

00:30:34
Speaker 4: That's the pool isn't big enough for us, because.

00:30:37
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's there's old men on there.

00:30:39
Speaker 2: Great, don't you love it, Susan, we need I'm.

00:30:43
Speaker 3: Talking about when they act like women are we're all equal here?

00:30:46
Speaker 1: No, we're not.

00:30:48
Speaker 4: You're letting in old old men.

00:30:50
Speaker 3: Let our probably mean who knows the age? You can go up really high on the age. I'm gonna go in there and find me a super old man and I'm going to do something about it. I'm gonna raise hell. I'm going to say, why are you letting in this guy who's on the brink of death? But not Susan and Kathy.

00:31:06
Speaker 1: Hey, I say vote for DEMI That's when I say the world vote for Demie.

00:31:12
Speaker 4: I love it.

00:31:13
Speaker 3: Thank you for president. You know there was a sign that said that my bachelor was women Tell All. And someone had a sign that said.

00:31:21
Speaker 4: For president, have a Spencer?

00:31:26
Speaker 3: What the hell?

00:31:27
Speaker 4: What really political? Now come, who's Spencer? Somebody from the Spencer from the Hill. And that's going to wrap it up for us.

00:31:37
Speaker 2: That's a whole We're not it's a whole nother conversation. We're not setting Demie up today.

00:31:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, eyes are rolled into the back of my head.

00:31:48
Speaker 4: We love you, we have I love you.

00:31:51
Speaker 2: You are fabulous.

00:31:53
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, thank you again Demi for joining us on Bachelor or Golden Hour.

00:31:58
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.

00:32:00
Speaker 4: Make sure to rate us, review us, and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast.

00:32:06
Speaker 1: And you can follow us on social media at Bachelor Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation.

00:32:12
Speaker 4: And look for us live on Demi's airtime.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: And look for us on the next reality TV show with Demie. We're going to be the Three Musketeers. But until that happened, we will