The Lapsed Fan: The Unwrappening 2025 Day 9

<v Speaker 1>This episode of The Lapsed Fan. This Unwrappening twenty twenty
<v Speaker 1>five boss brought to you by our new friends at
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<v Speaker 2>If you listen, if you're going to be if you're
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<v Speaker 2>Off the turkey sandwiches number one, the sandwiches you gotta
<v Speaker 2>or work off that pumpkin pie. You gotta work off
<v Speaker 2>that mincemeat pie coming up Christmas time. Yeah, a lot
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<v Speaker 1>Let him know the co chairman sent you. This holiday season.
<v Speaker 3>It's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with Jack Encarnac e
<v Speaker 3>O and JP Sorrow.
<v Speaker 2>We've got an exciting Christmas program lined up produced folks.
<v Speaker 2>We've been a little boys here. Every name. It's an
<v Speaker 2>artificial tree, so I did artificial job at trimming. Kindness
<v Speaker 2>is only excusion player in ability to adjust hollow the
<v Speaker 2>reindeer the Lapsed Fan for the Million Dollar Man. Send
<v Speaker 2>it Claus and say it's not.
<v Speaker 1>So To the Left Christmas Show twenty twenty five, The
<v Speaker 1>laps Fan continues the most beloved of holiday podcast provisions
<v Speaker 1>with the unwrapping part four bos What do we have next?
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's flimsy and I would normally think that it
<v Speaker 2>was a magazine, but now I'm mortified that it's more script.
<v Speaker 2>It's from Glenn Doza, Glenn car So Brother Illinois. I
<v Speaker 2>don't know. Well, we're gonna find out what this is.
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you this has been one thing we've learned.
<v Speaker 2>It's the fact that this is the hardest unwrapping we've
<v Speaker 2>ever had to fucking jay No. For some reason, it's
<v Speaker 2>like everything's triple reinforced. Every box that was a card
<v Speaker 2>first before we did chairman, chairman, chairman suplex and look.
<v Speaker 2>Loose leaf paper, loose leaf notebook paper. Now this is
<v Speaker 2>the way a fucking note should begin. Merry Christmas to
<v Speaker 2>my two favorite anus pluggers. You know. So it was
<v Speaker 2>around June first when I found this stupid thing. Silly me,
<v Speaker 2>I thought the Bronker's death would be the most do
<v Speaker 2>you know who the bronker is? Oh, Terry Bronk. Yes,
<v Speaker 2>it would be the most notable wrastling death to hit
<v Speaker 2>us this year. I had asked myself what kind of
<v Speaker 2>a weirdo would buy such a thing, But I not
<v Speaker 2>only bought it, but also gave it as a gift
<v Speaker 2>which will likely go directly into JP's fire. So there
<v Speaker 2>you have it. Thank you again for another fantastic year
<v Speaker 2>of TLF. I wait each week with breath for the
<v Speaker 2>next installment of the Complete hul Cogan. As you eagerly
<v Speaker 2>rip into the Holksure's truth while simultaneously ripping into our
<v Speaker 2>collective assholes exactly correct. The amount of gape I experienced
<v Speaker 2>weekly is frankly shameful. I hope Mama Sorrow is not
<v Speaker 2>in the room while you read these again this year.
<v Speaker 2>But if she is, yes, you're lucky this year. She
<v Speaker 2>should be very proud of the way you enter us,
<v Speaker 2>wreck our hole and leave us aching for it. I
<v Speaker 2>should wish you was. I might just have her read
<v Speaker 2>it anyway, you know, I might. I might just next
<v Speaker 2>time she and I record for I might just have
<v Speaker 2>her read that for wrestle Mamiaye for Wrestle Mamia available
<v Speaker 2>on the moat Deer. By the way, for those patron's
<v Speaker 2>unaware this holiday season, we'll be uh give me the
<v Speaker 2>gift that counts the moat deer.
<v Speaker 1>What is that?
<v Speaker 2>That's horrifying? From here? It kind of is Saboo versus
<v Speaker 2>the three Little Pigs? What is this thing? Once upon
<v Speaker 2>a time there lived a crazy camel named Saboo. Sabo
<v Speaker 2>w rest all around the world. He did things in
<v Speaker 2>the ring that others only dreamed. Others dreamed of. Triple
<v Speaker 2>jump moon salts. I know I do because of this.
<v Speaker 2>He was considered by many to be one of the
<v Speaker 2>best ever, and many camels in Japan even called number one.
<v Speaker 2>Sabo Samu cammel son. This is like a children's coloring right,
<v Speaker 2>Sabu counted, sheep, Did I have skip a page? Maybe
<v Speaker 2>I did? Oh? I did skip a page. I think
<v Speaker 2>have you noticed as you've gotten older, as you've now
<v Speaker 2>entered your forties and you are you locking your thumb
<v Speaker 2>like your grandparents used to to turn pages? I found
<v Speaker 2>turn pages one happy hump day. Yep, I get it.
<v Speaker 2>Sab was driving his sweet Oasis camper to yet another
<v Speaker 2>show in the middle of nowhere east ufu ouck. I
<v Speaker 2>thinks what I got. It was a long tour of
<v Speaker 2>many matches for Saboo. When he was very tired, I'm
<v Speaker 2>getting sleepy, Sabu said to himself. Maybe I should look
<v Speaker 2>for a place to take a nappy, and that's what
<v Speaker 2>he did. Sabu looked and looked and looked. Finally he
<v Speaker 2>saw a big sign that said rest stop and figured
<v Speaker 2>that was the perfect stop for a rest. Right on,
<v Speaker 2>let's stay here, Peppe, he said to his trusted dog,
<v Speaker 2>where's the dog introduced? Isn't that the horse that Chamiguerrero
<v Speaker 2>rode in w CW. Was it a dog? Is it?
<v Speaker 2>It was like, oh, yeah, there was a horse. Pepe
<v Speaker 2>was no pe pepe pepe Yeah, pepe Pepper was a peer.
<v Speaker 2>Peppe wagged his tail and agreed. So Sabou pulled over,
<v Speaker 2>pulled down the blinds. So he's guess he's in a campus.
<v Speaker 1>I mean these are illustrations like children's coloring books have
<v Speaker 1>a camel with Sabu's head on. This is I guess
<v Speaker 1>you could make a custom coloring books.
<v Speaker 2>I guess so, and pulled up the sheets, the dirt sheets.
<v Speaker 2>That'd be funny. Thing goes on here? Saboo counted sheep
<v Speaker 2>and it wasn't long before he was fast asleep. He
<v Speaker 2>dreamt of his lovely garden back at home. He dreamt
<v Speaker 2>of Super Genie. He also dreamt of one day winning
<v Speaker 2>the ECW title, the Extreme Camel Wrestling title. All of
<v Speaker 2>a sudden, all of a sudden, Saboo was rudely woken
<v Speaker 2>from all of his sweet dreams with a loud thump.
<v Speaker 2>Peppy was barking, what's wrong, Peppy? That's what he sounds like.
<v Speaker 2>It's fine, that sounds like. That's what it really sounds
<v Speaker 2>like he threw up the curtain and just missing three
<v Speaker 2>bacon wrapped bandits making off with his fresh spinner rims,
<v Speaker 2>tires and all the scene. Stay here, boy, Sabu pulled
<v Speaker 2>on his boots. He rushed outside to find his camper
<v Speaker 2>on cinder blocks. He shook his head in sorrow. Now,
<v Speaker 2>ain't this some shit? No tires? How am I gonna
<v Speaker 2>get to the next show? Now? Great question? Oh my god.
<v Speaker 2>Just beyond the tree, Sabu heard a squeal. He couldn't
<v Speaker 2>believe his eyes. There he saw the culprits in the
<v Speaker 2>distance and knew exactly what he had to do. Come
<v Speaker 2>back here, you little, you little pigs. Sabu followed the
<v Speaker 2>tire thieves down there, down the path to another sign
<v Speaker 2>that read Welcome to Twisty Tailed Trailer Park. Ah, yes,
<v Speaker 2>I forgot. That's where the three pigs lived in. That's
<v Speaker 2>where Randy of the Ram Robinson lived in. Oh, that's true.
<v Speaker 2>Just down the dirt road, he saw the smallest of
<v Speaker 2>the three pigs disappear into a crappy trailer made of hay. Yes,
<v Speaker 2>it was the home of Spaz, the human pork chop machine.
<v Speaker 2>Sab ran on the porker's porch. He lit up one
<v Speaker 2>of his favorite cigarettes for dramatic effect and knocked on
<v Speaker 2>the door hard.
<v Speaker 3>He's lapsed. Fan Wrestling podcast with Jack A Seo and
<v Speaker 3>Jpi Sirop Wrestling Podcast.
<v Speaker 2>Letty let me in. Not by the hair of my
<v Speaker 2>chetty chin chin, not for nothing, flap for the piglet
<v Speaker 2>say not for nothing? No okay, as you should be
<v Speaker 2>not for nothing by the terror of my chetty chin chin.
<v Speaker 2>This is dangerous if you can generate your own coloring
<v Speaker 2>books like this, yes, last the piglet. Wearing a towel
<v Speaker 2>around his neck, Sabo was blowing up and decided to
<v Speaker 2>catch his breath the best way he knew how, smoking braake. Well,
<v Speaker 2>I'll huff or I'll puff and I'll and give you
<v Speaker 2>just five more minus alet me an or else. When
<v Speaker 2>he was finished, he finally shook his head. Fuck this okay,
<v Speaker 2>I warned you. Saboo jumped on a shrub, bounced off
<v Speaker 2>a mailbox, and flew high up into the air way
<v Speaker 2>up of the trailer triple jump. Then he bounced off
<v Speaker 2>a power line to complete his trademark wrestling move, the
<v Speaker 2>triple jump Moon Salt. Like the triple jump camel, salters,
<v Speaker 2>he sounds like it to triple jump camel tooe maybe
<v Speaker 2>hero what He came crashing down on the trailer, breaking
<v Speaker 2>it right in half. Straw flew everywhere as Spaz ran
<v Speaker 2>down the road. One dire is not gonna be enough
<v Speaker 2>to get me to the show tonight, Sabou said, and
<v Speaker 2>at that he was off to find the next one.
<v Speaker 2>Spaz made his way to a big, double wide trailer
<v Speaker 2>made of bamboo sticks. The homicidal camel Sidle Saboo Camelson
<v Speaker 2>was hot on his tail at him until the door
<v Speaker 2>slammed right in his face. Sabo looked up and saw
<v Speaker 2>that the red door red home of Bam Bam pigolow.
<v Speaker 2>Sabo knocked hard. Little pigs, little pigs, let me in
<v Speaker 2>not find the hand of my double chitty chit chins.
<v Speaker 2>Bam Bam laughed the second larger pig with tattoos on
<v Speaker 2>his head. I fucking can't with this shiit. Sabo took
<v Speaker 2>another deep drag off his sig again. Oh halfing, I'll
<v Speaker 2>buffo fuck this. Sabu grabbed a lawn chair and climbed
<v Speaker 2>up the closest tree. Sabo crawled out of the highest
<v Speaker 2>branch and jumped down onto a trailer with an Arabian facebuster.
<v Speaker 2>Splinters flew everywhere. These illustrations are wild, They are wild.
<v Speaker 1>Him doing like the the ladder behind the chair behind
<v Speaker 1>his his feet and the leg dropped like an Arabian thing.
<v Speaker 1>Arabian facebuster.
<v Speaker 2>Bam bam, Piccolow and Spaz squealed in. They tore down
<v Speaker 2>the road with their tails between their legs and toothpicks
<v Speaker 2>in their backsides. I don't know where that comes from. Frankly, Sabo,
<v Speaker 2>of course, was right behind them. Just before catching out.
<v Speaker 2>The porkers made their escape into a giant brick house. Frustrated,
<v Speaker 2>Saboo stepped onto the porch, clenching all his camel fingers
<v Speaker 2>and all his camel toes. There it is little pigs,
<v Speaker 2>little pigs. Let me in. The door swung open, and
<v Speaker 2>there stood the biggest little pig he ever saw. Who
<v Speaker 2>you call it? Little Sabo stopped. He looked up at
<v Speaker 2>the at the giant pig, then over at the mailbox.
<v Speaker 2>This was indeed the home of the pig show.
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, with the singlet that's funny, the show show.
<v Speaker 1>It was brilliantly written. This supposed to be this is
<v Speaker 1>really funny. Write this In the version of a child
<v Speaker 1>child story, Spaz and Bam Bam Piccolow jumped out with
<v Speaker 1>the pig show. The boars began to beat the wrestling camel,
<v Speaker 1>hitting in with everything they could get their little piggy
<v Speaker 1>fingers on as the butter roast beat the butter the
<v Speaker 1>butter yep, as the butter roast as the butt roast
<v Speaker 1>rather sorry butt roasts.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I guess it's funny too. Is much better. As
<v Speaker 2>the butt roast beat down continued and other trailer park
<v Speaker 2>pigs came out on the scene, including Pig Hayman and
<v Speaker 2>the pig boss Man I get it. Yeah. Sabu tried
<v Speaker 2>to fight back, but it was no use. There were
<v Speaker 2>just too many. There was nowhere he could hide, and
<v Speaker 2>no amount of camel flags yes yes, yes could save him.
<v Speaker 2>Out of nowhere a trailer trash beer swilling swine named
<v Speaker 2>the Sandham blindside of stab the Sandman Cane. He hit
<v Speaker 2>our hero so hard that he immediately knocked him out.
<v Speaker 2>When Sabu awoke, he found that he was While he
<v Speaker 2>was unconscious, he had been hog tied by the hogs.
<v Speaker 2>It's no use, he thought, as the meaty mob dragged
<v Speaker 2>him off to a certain doom, I'm done for. Just
<v Speaker 2>as those dirty pigs were about to throw him into
<v Speaker 2>the lake, he heard splashing, thought, I skipped cash. Yes
<v Speaker 2>it was Rob Van Dolphin. I'd look at him. RVD,
<v Speaker 2>aka the Blowhole fin Show, jumped up on the dock.
<v Speaker 2>His big tail knocked most of the pigs into the
<v Speaker 2>water with one giant swoop. Then he spun around in
<v Speaker 2>midair and hit the pig show with his patented finishing
<v Speaker 2>maneuver splashing thunder. The pigs tried to fight, tried fighting back,
<v Speaker 2>but this new tag team was just too much for them.
<v Speaker 2>In the end, the unlikely pairing of Kamel and Dolphin
<v Speaker 2>prevailed fucking camp with his shit. This is fucking this
<v Speaker 2>is really cool. I'm looking at this artwork like this
<v Speaker 2>is amazing. Thanks Rob Van Dolphin, Sabo said, as the
<v Speaker 2>dust settled and the last swine fell. No problem, dude,
<v Speaker 2>he said. After that, RVD helped Saboo put his tires
<v Speaker 2>back on the Oasis mobile home camper. What time is
<v Speaker 2>it four twenty, plenty of time to make it to
<v Speaker 2>the next show. Thanks to you, Sabo said, Why are
<v Speaker 2>you thinking of what I'm thinking, A little blaze and glaze. Wow,
<v Speaker 2>the dolphin asked, they ate the greatest pulled pork dinner ever.
<v Speaker 2>I lived happily ever after the end, I take a
<v Speaker 2>look at this thing? Who sent this again? I don't
<v Speaker 2>wait a minute with the.
<v Speaker 1>Written by Sabu and Kenny Casanova. So it's bedtime stories
<v Speaker 1>w O h W dot com. We know that's walking
<v Speaker 1>on hot waffles. You know Kenny Casanova, the author of
<v Speaker 1>Sabo's Autobigraphy and many others. But it's just so wacky
<v Speaker 1>and stupid. But it looks like a totally legit coloring.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah it does, it does it totally does. No big
<v Speaker 2>show to call him Pam Pam pigelow bam bamigelow. And
<v Speaker 2>that's us. We came up with that. Well we had
<v Speaker 2>is this We have Hamham Hamham bigelowelo's we had Hamham
<v Speaker 2>piccolow cool idea. Well that's very funny.
<v Speaker 1>For seeing anything like this, super cool and on the
<v Speaker 1>back that it's got camel Saboo doing the one finger
<v Speaker 1>pose with sausage links and many other forms of meat
<v Speaker 1>hanging from the tree branch.
<v Speaker 2>Unreal.
<v Speaker 1>Well that's a fun one man and yeah, we did.
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's so easy in the complete Holk cooaging
<v Speaker 1>to forget about Saboo, Sid and Virgil. These tribute shows.
<v Speaker 1>We did these one off tribute kind actually in the
<v Speaker 1>last couple of years. We know Scott Funk, of course,
<v Speaker 1>the lapsed Funk. I mean, I consider that even a
<v Speaker 1>journey Mike Tyson, Steve Austin Michaels so much in the archive,
<v Speaker 1>and uh, for some reason, I think anytime I ever
<v Speaker 1>think about the Saboo tribute down, but I think about
<v Speaker 1>that coloring book.
<v Speaker 2>I know it's exactly it, and I forgot we even
<v Speaker 2>did a Savage.
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you a lot brought you on the wrapping
<v Speaker 1>with a bronkster had more to come under the tree
<v Speaker 1>on the day Electristmas shows.
<v Speaker 2>A production of the Lab Entertainment Group. It's content is
<v Speaker 2>intended for brevity use only we say hop say we
<v Speaker 2>wanted the songs a