Current Routines, Mood Update & More

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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercam. I'm a mother of four, an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds. This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and thirty seven, which is airing in mid March of twenty twenty. We are going to be talking about our routines, which is always a interesting topic to us and perpetually popular. We love hearing about other people's routines as well, so please share those with us on our Instagram account Best of Both Worlds Podcasts. You can share them on my blog because I always post a write up of our episode on Tuesdays when they come out, and we'd love to hear about your routines as well. So routines do change. This is one of the realities of life. You get a good routine going, and then something happens. Your kids switch schools, you get a different job, you have another child, whatever it happens to be, and so life changes and the routine has to change too. But it can be kind of fun to figure out what that routine is going to be. So, Sarah, you had sort of a rework of your routines over the past year or so, as you took a new job, as you moved, as your kids started new schools. So what do your morning routines look like now? Yeah, so we'll trade off different parts of the day. I think that will be fun our current morning routines. So actually we Josh and I now take the kids to school most days, which is a change for us because previously, even when we were living here, our Nanni would get here at about seven fifteen and do at least one of the drop offs. And I think I mentioned on a prior episode that we were under this impression. We told ourselves the story that somehow you couldn't drop off all three kids, and then one day our nanny couldn't come, and I dropped off all three kids and was like, okay, that's completely That episode may air after this one, tay Well, I apologize that, look at a frendsheet, this may be a spoiler, and I apologize. But yeah, so now Josh and I. So basically, on Sunday, I make the calendar for the week, and the first thing I asked my husband is what days can you drive the kids? Because on Mondays I typically have to go in early for a resident conference, and so Monday I'm out. So usually I say, okay, Josh, can you do Monday and one other day? And He'll say yes, I can do like Monday and Thursday. And then I'll say, okay, I can do Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. And then if that's the case, I tell her nanny, we don't need her to come early any day. And so on those mornings, basically I try to work out before they wake up, and write a blog post and do all the things that you wake up. Let's further our listeners who are not aware of what time you wake up. When when does the alarm go off? Here's a disclaimer, like I don't do that every single I want to just say it, no, no, no, let's say it. Sometimes I wake up at four thirty, but sometimes if I'm tired, or I've been on call, or I'm just don't feel like it. I don't So like today, I think I slept today. It was a day off, like I didn't go to work, and there are days that are different on a routine, and I quote unquote slept in until about six fifteen, at which point I heard Genevieve singing in her bed. So I am not the kind of person who needs to do the same thing in the same order every single day, believe it or not. I will move things around when I can, and I'm getting a little better at using some of my work flexibility at times. I mean I spent like eight days in a row working really long hours and being on call, and then yesterday I still had work, but I was like, you know what, I'm dropping off the kids and then going to for a run and then going to work because I know that I've worked way past kind of what was expected for the prior eight days, so I wasn't going to feel bad about it. So that kind of a thing does change the routine. But when it's a quote normal day, I do get up pretty early four thirty to five, I work out in and write a post, and then the kids sometimes wake up on their own or we have to wake them up sometime around six thirty to six forty five, and then we leave for school at about seven twenty. I park my car at a park that's close to the school. I bring this running stroller, and then the two big kids scooter to school while I kind of walk slash jog a little bit with Genevieve and the stroller because they're pretty fast on their scooters. And then on the way back, I just fold the scooters up, put them on the top of the stroller, go back to the car, and then drive Genevieve to school. Her school starts at like I have to get there between eight o five and eight ten, thanks for that large window, and she goes in and then I drive straight to work, which actually works really tight, but it works because I usually need to get there by eight thirty and I usually get there right on the dot. So yeah, that's our typical morning routine right now. So mine has definitely shifted since having the baby. When he in late December, that kind of shifted everything, as newborns will do. But we're recording this in mid February, so maybe it'll change again by mid March when this runs. But right now it's sort of settled into something every routine, which is nice. So on the nights when we have the overnight nurse service, which we've talked about in other episodes, somebody brings the baby to me at between four and five AM when he needs to eat, and so I feed him. I pump at the same time. So I've probably been sleeping since about ten fifteen, so I got four fifteen, four thirty four to forty five somewhere in there. Pump on one side, feed him on the other, which turns out to be more efficient than trying to separate these activities. I was so proud of myself for figuring out that hack. I'm sure that was obvious to many other people, but it was not to me anyway. Wait, wait, wait, I have one question. Okay, So, like, let's say you're pumping on your right and he's feeding on the left, and then he goes on the right. He's not mad, the milk is gone, So I just don't shift him for that one. But keep in mind that I've been I missed the feeding before. Ah, so there's more than like milk everywhere, all right. At this point, just what makes sense, so I can. I can Usually most people have more milk in the morning anyway versus the evening, so I can pump the bottle. He will need all he will need for the overnight feeding on one side in the morning and feed him on the other and he's good with it. He goes back down. I hand him back over. The overnight nurse will leave at six o'clock, put him in the bassinet in the room, you know, let herself out, lock up, and go. I try to keep sleeping through that. I have my earplugs in so I don't hear that transfer. But I've had some trouble getting back to sleep after the feeding. So it's like five am, and I'm kind of lying in bed, and some days I sleep and sometimes I don't. And I'm trying to be okay with that that if I don't sleep, it's okay. Ideally I sleep again at five o'clock and can sleep till five thirty or so six thirty that's what I meant. That's when the other stuff starts happening. So Jasper has early mining choir two days of the week. She needs to leave the house about seven ten. So that's the question of whether somebody's taking him for that on those days otherwise can start a little bit later. I get more like six point fifty seven o'clock. Now that I don't now that I figured out the pumping hack and I don't have to build a pumping into it, I can sleep more till seven. Shower, get him up seven fifteen, seven to twenty, get him breakfast, Sit with him and chat. That's kind of our nice time. The other kids start getting up in here, sit with them and talk. Feed the baby when he wakes up, get the other kids too. The bus stop around eight twenty five. Alex goes off to preschool a little before nine. Usually our nanny comes at eight, unless we're driving the carpool, in which case she'll come seven to fifty, so we can leave her home with the kids unless Michael and I are both there again, and then I start work about nine o'clock, and I work till noon, but it's interrupted by baby feeding, so I sort of have a very focused list of like what I need to get done in those three hours, which is usually more like two hours that don't involve baby feeding. At twelve, I know we're talking morning routines, but I'll at least get myself through to afternoon here, because I think that is where the steps. I take the baby from about twelve to three. He and I hang out three three thirty, and that's when our nanny and Alex come home from whatever they've been doing for the afternoons, because we didn't want to interrupt his routine. So I take the baby, she takes him, and then you know, that's sort of the end of the day when other kids start coming home. Ah, so right now, you're not getting a long work day because this is you're still I mean, you're only like what six weeks out, yeah, six seven weeks out, So theoretic, I mean, if I had a normal job, I might still be on maternity Louie, I was still on FULLAM. I was doing zero work at this juncture. So yeah, yeah, that didn't work or even to kind of says that. I mean, well, here, people read my blog know that I track my time, and I have tracked all these newborn weeks, and I'm working probably twenty five hours and the issue is that a lot of it is just multitask with feeding holding a baby, so it's probably not terribly efficient. So one can argue like why am I even bothering? But I've also realized that a lot of stuff just has to keep going. I mean, there's no way around it unless I want to walk away from a lot of stuff that I've built up. So there you go. Well, I'm glad you have decided not to walk away from anything, and I'm happy to record podcasts episodes with a baby feeding in the background or on mute mute works. I think it's impressive that you're even doing that much, So I think it's great and it's nice to be able to phase things in more gradually as it works. How do you when do you foresee we're getting off off track of our routines. But I guess this is a routine question for the future. When do you see your afternoons for burning back to more normal work well up to three thirty slot. I mean this summer, a lot of the kids will be in camp, and if if Alex goes to camp full days, then the childcare will cover the baby. But I mean, if I'm still nursing, like it's going to be back and forth anyway. Yeah, But then I think in the fall, when Alex goes to full day kindergarten full day. The school day will feature more sort of full on childcare for the baby. I anticipate probably pumping for like the midday feeding, and just doing work completely from about nine to three and then having it back and forth after that. That makes sense, cool, all right, So that's mornings and a little bit beyond. I didn't I put work routines in a separate section, so maybe we can get there. Do you have a specific post work routine, Like, well, you don't really. I was gonna say when you walk in the door, and then I'm like, wait, you don't walk in this. I'm already here, already in the door. Yeah. So though we get back to the three thirty four time frame, there of course shifts based on does the baby need to eat because he's not at a particular time schedule yet for all that, So I try to go for my run then, and somewhere between three and five is when the run tends to happen, and usually only about a thirty minute run. The other kids are getting home around four, but then there's activities. I'm usually not responsible for many of the activities these days because of again the baby, so I need to stay with the baby and then the other. We have two drivers now to get people to their different places since I'm not driving. But yeah, it's that's that's what the afternoon looks. It's a different set of it. Every day. We tend to eat somewhere around six, and then after that, either there's other activities or there aren't. Start trying to get kids down eight eight thirty. Everyone is theoretically supposed to be in their rooms by nine. The big boys can still be reading at that point. I tend to spend the entire evening, it seems, nursing the baby. He just the milk supply trap, you know, he's hungry, quiet and down. But on the nights, we have the evening the night nurse service. They come at ten, so that's when I hand them over and I go to bed. Oh my god, the on off. Seriously, all of mine, all of mine. I think it's just how it works. Yeah, I mean. And the thing is, you can you know, especially if if you are doing the overnight shift, one thing people might want to consider doing is pumping in the morning to feed the bottle to the baby in the evening, because your milk supply is going to naturally drop but you are producing enough. You're just producing it at different times of the day. And so if you pump in the morning and then give that bottle to the baby in the evening, he may just pass out because he's tired because he's had the full bottle, And then you can go to bed easier. Somebody else can do that, and then you could go to bed earlier. You know, if your partner or if you have an older child or whatever, they could even do it. But it's like, I mean, like a teenage child. I don't mean like a five year old, but you know what I'm saying. You know, that can be a hack to make it work and not seem so ridiculous in the evenings as well. Yes, I have I think that sometimes the on off helps drive the supply a little bit and might help the morning stay robust. But everybody is, everybody's different. Yeah, yes, definitely things to experiment with. And the nice thing about milk is that it does bounce back. You know. Sometimes you can let it drop a little bit, but then I have a few nights of meeting and then it comes back with a vengeance. At least that was my experience. So all right, Well, let's take our ad break here real quick, and then we'll be back with more on our routines. All right, we are back, and we are not going to be talking anymore about pumping, because that is definitely in the past for me and probably many of you will definitely not all of you. So post work, I usually get in the door about well, actually it barries, but if I don't have anything sort of special after work, I usually get home at five point forty five or so, and then our nanny used to leave at around US six, but we've changed it since now she comes in much later. We have her stay until about seven thirty most nights, and so I spend that hour and a half to two hours just kind of helping finish homework, usually scarfing down dinner in about thirty seconds. The kids often eat earlier. We're still not I don't know. I'd like to get to that point where we're eating together, but it doesn't quite seem to work yet. But I'm helping with homework or maybe I'm playing with Genevieve. While Anna Bell and Cameron are finishing work. They often have a lot of their homework on the computer, so they do these programs through school, so they have to finish that and then our nanny leaves at about seven thirty. Josh has been getting home a little bit. I'm sure if I say this on this podcast then he'll, you know, it won't be true by the time it airs, because it does seem to ebb and flow randomly with the season. But he's been getting home a little bit earlier, like sometimes seven, even six point thirty on a rare night, more seven, So often he'll come join kind of in the middle of that, and then if both of us are home, I usually tell her nanny like, go ahead, go home, you're free, and then, you know, the bedtimes seem to vary who needs to go to bed the earliest, But right now we've actually been putting Cameron to bed first because he's just the most tired, and then that's around seven thirty to eight, and then Genevieve more like eight to eight thirty, and then Annabelle more like eight thirty, and sometimes she'll just read a little bit. So it's interesting because you know, once you get used to a bedtime order in a routine, it seems to change every six months based on you know, what the various wake up times are the activities the kids are doing and who needs the most sleep. Now, I will say we have drastically pared down the number of activities the kids are doing. They were both in basketball at one point. Now they're not. That's fantastic. They were in piano, but they weren't that excited about it, and I was completely tired of telling them to practice. So we are taking an indefinite hiatus or a hiatus indefinitely for that they do go to. They have they do have activities that are like built into their after school program a couple times a week and they go to Ninja class on Tuesday. So they do some things, but not a lot of things kind of in the evening hours because they're young and there's so much time for that later on, and it just seems to complicate our lives and I don't think for that much benefit now. If they feel really driven to do things as they get older, or they're asking me to do things that I'm totally on board, but I'm not going to orchestrate it, you know, with the idea that oh if I don't like have them in this sports thing, then they'll never play later. Like I'm over that. I no longer believe that and I'm not getting sucked in, so or if it is true, then maybe they just weren't meant to, you know, do that particular sport. So so yeah, I would say things are a little bit simpler around here. Josh and I go to bed like pretty much, you know, maybe we'll talk for thirty minutes or something or watch a show, and then I try to go to bed by nine thirty to ten most nights because I get up so early so I'm tired. And then every once in a while, if I'm super tired, it's more like eight thirty. And that's amazing. I think going to bed at eight thirty sounds incredible. I haven't quite managed to look that out, but I have developed the hack of getting myself completely ready for bed so that I can go down right at you know, ten. Well, you know how like babies have that trends, At least all of mine seem to have that transition, Like first they go to bed at like tennish, and then all of a sudden they get to this point where they need to go to bed at like seven thirty. And I would always wait for them. I'm like, come on, come on, come, on because it's so hard to be up at night when you're tired with your baby. It's like, uh, so what will happen soon? Probably the next couple of months, I bet. Yeah. Yeah, And we got baby noise on here. I've got the baby with me right now. He will very cute watching him. Well, I just need the top of his head. Is at the top of his head, yes, it's just a clear sense, it's actually perfect. So yeah, so that was That's kind of our evening routine right now, and I like it better without so much stuff and with a little more help from our nanny. So, you know, always evolving. How about workout routine? Well, no, I had weekend in here. How are your weekends just? Well, you do a lot though still yeah, well, I mean this is the nature of having five children. Is nothing stopped just because we had a baby. There's still activities, there's still stuff going on. So yeah, again, to make things work, we have some childcare help now on Saturdays as well, so that we can put the bulk of activities on Saturday. You know, Michael can take some time you listen to the baby noise here. Some number of the kids skiing or you know, we can trade off runs without it being this huge logistical thing. So basically, on weekends, some days we have karate in the morning or something else. Both of us try to get runs in. On Saturdays. You know, Sunday, I have church in the morning, I'm still singing in my choir, so I go nine till eleven roughly, and then you know, try and do family activities after that. Sundays tend to be no nothing after church, and that's that's pretty relaxed, relaxed day. So yeah, you try to run both days. I'm not running, I'm not doing my running streaks so that I don't have to work that into the routine, which is kind of nice. I'm guessing every once in a while when you feel like being lazy and you probably are like, oh, wait, I don't have to run. I have to run. I could just not run, but I didn't have to then either. It's just eventually the weight of accumulating days makes you say, wow, you know I could just go for a run. Yes, yes, yes, And I bet your fitness has not suffered. Yeah, I know. So talk about your workout routines because you plan these out a bit more. I sort of just see how what the day brings, but you actually map out what routines you're my workouts. Yes, well, I'll mention our weekends first, which is just to say that we tend to always do a date night if either if both of us are not working, then we pretty much are going out one night. And then we've been experimenting with some kind of morning babysitting for like a four hour stretch on a Saturday or Sunday, and sometimes that's helpful. Sometimes I'm like, did I really need that? Because to me, my most priority, I don't really need time to work on the weekends. I need time to run or do a workout. So if Josh can at least cover me to do that, I don't mind if he goes to work for a little bit after that, especially when it's morning. I tend to really get kind of like overstimulated by the kids by the afternoon, and I'd really rather him be home unless he's on call. So yeah, so we're still kind of experimenting with that, and then we're still trying to alternate a lot of weekends having us each have one day to sleep in. But it's hard because if you want to work out, but then you also want to sleep in. That's it can be challenging. Sometimes I feel like the weekend would be better off with four days in it, but alas or I take advantage of days like today where I did have off from work and I was like, well, I'm not going to get up early to work out today because this is my chance to sleep past the six am hours. So I did. Okay, But yes workout routines, I tend to plan out on Sundays just what my goals are getting in for that week. Right now, I am sort of trying to half heartedly train for a five K. I guess I'm just trying to train to get a little faster at running, although I'm in this race against time because it's getting hotter and as it gets hotter, it gets harder. And then I'm like, well, maybe my fitness is better, but the run was no faster. But if it was seventy nine degrees in humid, like, am I really getting better? I don't know, It's hard to tell. So I'm doing like usually four runs each week and then two of my beloved beach body workouts on the other days, which I don't know. I feel like it might I can't tell. I can't seem to have both. I can't seem to have like getting stronger and getting faster. It seems like I have to always pick one because I certainly don't have time to do two workouts in one day. And maybe that's fine. I mean, if I were just being completely vain, I would do mostly strength workout and stop running so much. But I really enjoy running, so I guess I'm less vain and doing the mix. Oh, yes, I do. It is it is and sometimes I've been in corporate not sometimes rarely. I think I went once last month. I do like a studio workout, and I kind of want to do more of that, but not I don't need to do it every week, even like once every other week would probably be enough for me. Where they do both, you know, the cardio and the strength, and it's kind of challenging, and I should get more into strength training. It's one of my goals. I do want to do more of that. Michael has been going to our y m c A and doing a lot of the weights there. The problem, of course, is that getting to the y makes a workout a longer experience than just running on our treadmill or running in our neighborhood. So that's that's each body. Yeah, well, I don't know how doing beach body is that. I can't say that there is totally meant. My brother in law is a beach body die hard than like a beach body slash peloton diehard. So I don't know. But no lots of men do it, but you might like it because well and again disclaimer, I don't do any of the MLM stuff. I don't buy any of this stuff. I just subscribe to the online workout thing, which is like it's really inexpensive. It's like one hundred dollars for the whole year basically. So I don't participate in any of the other stuff. But it's a very It's nice to have the structure. It's nice to have someone yelling at you and telling you what to do. You definitely push. I definitely push harder than I would if I were like, oh, let me do a set of pushups and a set of this. No, I have like Autumn yelling at you, like, come on, fifteen seconds and you want to do it, And I will say it sounds like me like maybe I wouldn't want to do it if somebody's yelling at me, that's true. Maybe not, I guess, I don't know. I don't know. I wonder what what Gretchen Ruben would say about like the personality type that enjoys beach body. But it seems to be a good fit for me, so I would think that it would be a good fit for you. But I think there's I have a you have a more rebellious dream guy that's Drake that you start yelling at me. I'm out so that you only want to yell at yourself, yell at myself, but anyone else needs to needs to take a chill. Yeah, you want to talk through your work routine. Sure, I sort of did mine already. I realized I jumped the gun on that. No, you could tell more, because you could talk about your work in terms of like when do do podcasting stuff and when do you do other stuff? Because I would be interested in hearing some of that breakdown. So I'll let you think about that while I tell you mine. So I'm basically two days fully clinical, and on those days it's just like patients, patients, patients. I started eight thirty. I tried desperately to get my notes done by twelve or so, but I usually don't. It's usually more like twelve thirty. And then I either eat lunch with colleagues or I close the door and shut the world out and read a book or something, which honestly is what I more feel like doing on those days when I've been seeing patients patients patients, so I try to do more of that. Sometimes I try to bring lunch on those days or even allow myself to order out so that I can just kind of like be a recluse for a little bit. And then I go back and I see patients, patient patients, and I try really hard to get my notes done as I'm seeing the patients to the extent possible, and that means keeping my outlook clothed and not doing other things because otherwise you basically can't accomplish anything. And then on the days that I am more or not just more just you know, dedicated to doing GME, I have been better about you know, I get there. I have several things on my list. I try to plow through those things, and then every Friday I make sure that I clear out my email because you know, as annoying as email can be, my job is responding to things like I have to be responsive. It doesn't have to be instant response. People understand I'm a physician and I may be on call or be doing other things, but I also can't let things sit for like, you know, weeks, So I kind of make sure to respond to everything I need to by the end of the week. And I don't really have any kind of daily closing ritual, but I will say that Friday I'm pretty good about like trying to get everything to zero so that I can start first the next week, and I do a little bit of thinking about what my priorities would be for the next week, so that when I go in on Monday, I well, not mondaycause Monday's Day, but when I have my first Jammy day at that next week, I kind of know what I'll be putting on my list, and that makes sense. Yeah, Well, I plan my weeks on Friday, And now that I'm in the situation where I can only really count on about two hours a day of focused work, I am just ruthless about figuring out what needs to happen in terms of podcasting, So before Breakfast, my other podcast, I try to write those episodes on the weekend if I can. So, if I get some time over the weekend, I'll try to write five episodes for the upcoming week, and then one morning that will be my main goal. My main professional goal for the day is to record those five episodes because you know, it has to be done around baby feiting because it has to be quiet, so and then I can't do it other points of the day because there's other people around, so it geninitly has to happen during one of those morning. It's probably another morning. A priority for the day might be writing something that I have agreed to write, or editing something I had, sort of the issue of assignments that I had taken on earlier in the year, landing then with edits later. I've also been doing a book proposal, so that's my own thing, and I had it's sort of the fun experience of So I wrote a novel for National Novel Writing Month and I was looking to get some test readers for it, and I just put a note in my newsletter that I sent out and I was I was thrilled with the response, like that's great that people are interested reading my book. But that was like, oh no, I have like hundreds of emails now I have to respond to about it that I was like, what so getting through that was a morning that was a morning's activity as well, that it is very flattering. I was thrilled that people are interested in reading it, so that hopefully will be better with their feedback and that'll be out in a year or so. Yeah, so's each day it is a different main task and maybe a secondary task. And then there's some other things that I can do while I have the baby. So for instance, I can record the before breakfast of the sense and then maybe I listen to them in the afternoon while to make sure they're good while I have the baby. Or maybe I'm responding to a certain number of emails in the afternoon while I have the baby, because I can do that with one hand while holding him and feeding them. Or sometimes it's personal to do that I have to do as well. I need to practice music for a choir it's been really challenging of late, so I can nurse the baby and bang out the notes on my keyboard with the other hand. And so these are just all sorts of things that I triash what needs to be done, focused, what would be easiest done with two available hands for typing, and then the afternoon stuff. I can get to things. I can certainly get to other things, but I can't count on them. It's kind of the only reason that you're able to continue to be so productive is all this. It's the triaging and the planning ahead, because I think otherwise you would go into the day and be so flustered by it and be like, oh my god, I only have two hours, and a lot of people would just give up. Yeah. No, but I mean this is it's it's good to write about productivity for situations like this. And I've been taking advantage of the fact that I am not traveling because I shoved all gigs out of the first quarter of the year to do a few other things with the kids. I am building lego structures with with Sam. We're currently working on the Empire state building. That's that's kind of an ordeal. You know, Ruth and I to a Valentine's party. I went to a Valentine's party. Today, I have Ruth and I have been doing coloring. Yeah, just just trying to do things like that. And you know, I say there are personal to dos as well that wind up on this list of like your goal for the week, and it just keep these in mind, Like, you know, we needed to get Jasper an eye appointment and get them glasses, and so that was something that wound up happening. And you know, you just if you set very limited goals, you can get through them. That's awesome. All right. Well, I think that's a lot of routines. I hope people kind of I don't know, enjoy hearing those. They seem to be some of our most popular episodes, so people, I will admit I also like listening to other people's routines, so yes, please share what is working for you, your logistics. Even people's mornings I find fascinating. So yeah, I was going to also in this episode cram in a little moods update. Okay, Laura's giving me the thumbs up, so sorry, I'm trying to switch the baby to the other side. So I thought maybe we didn't need to hear that. Can you talk about your moods while I do this? Yes, you do that, I won't watch it. I'm just kidding. So you guys know, I talked a few months ago about how I really struggle with moods around my cycles. Or I did, and every criteria for PMDD, which is pre menstrual dysphoric disorder, which is kind of like turbocharged PMS, I met and it was very frustrating. And the truth is, while you're in it, you just feel like, oh my god, I'm crazy, I'm depressed, I hate my life, Like what is wrong with me? I'm not looking forward to anything, like everything, and it feels very, very real. But I did have the wherewithal to be paying attention to the fact that, like, oh, I had all those feelings for about two weeks every single month and then it would go away, and that was completely in line with like the two weeks prior to and just in the beginning of my period. So, you know, being a physician, I have course researched, you know, what are the treatments for this, And it turns out that some people will go on an SSRI actually for a part of the month, and other people will just go on hormonal birth control. So I asked my OB who I really liked, and she was like, no, a lot of times, yeah, I just use hormonal birth control and that helps a lot of people, and specifically I think yeas or the generics are on label for this, so I said, great, I've been on it before, let's do it. You know, I had been hesitant to use birth control just because prior to having Annabelle, I had a manor rea for like more than two years, and I didn't like the idea that like, I wouldn't know what my body was doing naturally. But once I experienced what my mind seemed to do with its hormonal cycles, I was like, you know what, I don't really care what it's doing naturally. I would like to just not feel like this. So about four months ago, I three or four months ago, I started on a generic of YEAS and it absolutely like turned everything around. I think I went to three therapist appointments and I was like, oh, maybe I'll keep going. But honestly, once I fixed the hormonal component, I didn't really feel like I needed anything anymore, so I did not continue that relationship. So life has just been back to normal. I look forward to things again. I honestly just want to stay on this medicine so my life, or at least the rest of my hormonally active life, can't you know, This is what I was going to ask, because of course you know, I know. Back there's all like warnings about being over thirty five, over forty and hormonal birth control. Yeah, no, you can definitely stay on it, especially as long as you don't smoke or have any pro clotting history. You can stay on it much. Now, of course, every case is different, and I'm not like, please don't sue me if you have a blood clot because you listen to this podcast since I said you could take birth control. No, please consult your own physician. This is not This is just my own advice and my own exploration is that there's not as hard and fast rules about it if you don't have other risk factors. And there are a lot of people who stay on it till close to the years that they would be dealing with menopause. And then, of course, you know hormone replacement. There's been a lot of ups and downs on whether that's safe or helpful, but you know, the pendulum seems to have swung way in one direction, the way in the other. And now maybe back to the fact that like hormone replacement can be useful for some women, and sometimes the benefits are worth the and the risks can be small if you are otherwise healthy. So yeah, at least for the foreseeable future. I mean I turned forty this year, but at least for the foreseeable few years into the future, my obi has absolutely no concern. So for now, I'm just super happy that the solution was pretty simple and I feel lucky. And if I ever had those issues again, I would try the other things if this wasn't working for some reason, because I guess now I just I feel like legitimized by the fact that like, okay, it wasn't just me, like this was something physical that responded to treatment. Yeah, it's definitely great when it turns out that there is a solution and it works, and yeah, no, that's that's wonderful to hear. Well, we should do our listener question and then our love of the week, right, Yeah, well, this was kind of a fun question. Would you like me to read it? Sure the idea? Hey, Sarah, I have a potential question for the pod. I'm in my early ties, recently finished grad school, and have a high paying, full time job. I have a long term partner, but no kids, and listening to bobw has made me realize how more than ever, how much flexibility I have with my time and money at this point in my life. I want to take advantage of this, but I don't know how. I save plenty about one third of my income go listener, but otherwise want to do better at determining how to use my currently abundant time and money. Most traditional advices travel when you're young, and I do some of that, but I'm looking for things I can apply more to my day to day, week to week life. I'm wondering if you and your listeners and readers have any advice for what you wish you had done in an average week before you had kids. I love that question, mostly because I totally did not appreciate the flexibility and time that I had now. Part of that was I was in residency training and med school, and during those years you're sort of led to believe that you're supposed to be spending every second that you have free doing some kind of studying or extra work. So I didn't really have that kind of job where I felt like I could clock out. But at the same time, after I had kids, I was like, oh wait, I did have more time than I thought. So I just thought this reader, like our listener, is so insightful and kind of ahead of her time, and it made me wish that I had listened to a podcast like Best of Both Worlds back then. Although I do want to say here because this is From time to time, there are these posts that get on the Internet of like the thirty things you should do before having kids, And I really dislike this sort of post because it makes it sound like your life is over once you have children, and I don't really think that has to be the case. I think that some people allow it to become that in their mind, but that is often not necessarily reality if you're willing to make certain accommodations. And they're not saying there aren't situations where it's more challenging to do things. But for a lot of people, it is entirely possible to, you know, do great things in your job after having kids. It is entirely possible to travel after having kids. It is possible to run at marathon after having kids. It is possible to go sky diving or whatever it is you're putting on this list. I mean, I don't want to go skydiving with kids or without kids, so I really don't see why that has to be on the list of things to do before having children. But so I liked that the focus of this was not on Okay, go see the taj Mahal, which by the way, I did after having children. But it wasn't go see the taj Mahal. It was what can I do in my normal life to take advantage of the flexibility and income I have at the moment. So I thought that that was a good way of framing this. Yes, I do too, and I am also with you that life does not end, but life does change in some ways. And I agree. There's nothing. There's nothing bucket listy like that's not really what really came to mind. I mean, I wrote, like, you know, put your energy into a big fun project, not because you won't be able to do it later, but because why not do it now? Like if you now are realizing that you have this extra time capital, like, do something big and fun with it. I wrote, build your social network in real life, not necessarily online. Learn some good life and time management skills, like maybe practice being efficient with certain things, because you know it does take some practice to learn how to make efficient meals, and you know, budgeting investing, you may already have that down you're doing amazing saving a third of your income, So that's fantastic. And I wrote, just you know, enjoy those adult growth years because your life doesn't end. It's going to change, but this is, you know, your time to really kind of learn how to be an adult before you have the additional challenges that it sounds like you're looking forward to doing. Yeah, no, I think that you know, if she does have big personal projects she wants to do, like writing a novel, running a marathon, and do it now, you will do it again after you have children, but you know, you may as well do it now when you don't have those constraints to sort of lay a baseline for doing it later. If there's if you like, I would say you should probably do that as much as humanly possible. That is the one thing I would say has become much harder to do now. I had a glimpse of it when Alex was about four, and then before I got pregnant and had the baby kicking and waking me up early, there was about a six month period where it was possible to sleep in. So I have faith that it will happen again, but for now that that seems to be the one thing that that has been more challenging. So you should definitely do that if you if you want to experience it. I love it, all right, the we love the week? Yes, all right? Is what is yours? Okay? So I were going to Disney for Genevieve's third birthday in December, and actually during like early December, so not when it gets crowded, supposed to be a good time to go, and being Disney, you have to like think about everything far in advance. And we really wanted to stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge where I know you have stayed with the Savannah Bud to like the giraffes out the window, because what would be more cool for a three year old than like seeing giraffes after window. And we wanted a villa because we definitely didn't want to be crammed into one room, never doing that again. So I started looking online at everything and they were pretty expensive through Disney. I was willing to do it, but I started googling and I found this thing called like David's Disney Vacation Club Rentals, and what it is is like a third party, the Disney Vacation Club or people who have time shares through Disney, but sometimes they don't use them, and this third party basically negotiates so that you are buying off somebody's time share time and you get the exact same thing. In fact, I confirmed, like it's now linked on my Disney app, like I can see it in the mind Disney or whatever Disney experience. And I think the only thing you don't get is housekeeping, although you can add that for like fifty bucks a night, and it saved me like I think like twelve hundred dollars or something. I mean, it was ridiculous. It was like forty percent of the price less just through doing it through this club. I did have to wait a little time, and it you know, you don't always get it, but I did get it. So I guess I should do a follow up after we've taken the trip to make sure there aren't any hiccups along the way. But I'm totally impressed because I can see the trip on my apps, so I don't see any reason it's not going to work out, and we're getting the exact same thing that we would have gotten. Pain a lot more so David's Disney vacation rental that's awesome. Yeah, I know that sounds that sounds good. There are a lot of people with time shares out there. Is where we have done some financial content like don't don't do the time share like that you can take advantage of somebody else's time having made that decision and getting some vacation rentals for cheap. So that's something too consider. Yeah. No, I'm going to put a shout out to my I don't even know how you pronounce it, medilla medella pump and style medella medella. So I bought this thing with Jasper so Low these many years ago, my teenage son. Now I've replaced the parts, like the parts you can replace, so it's basically just the motor is what I've kept running. But I've replaced all the pumping apparatus and the twing that that is PSD just saying those words, okay, keep So I had that. I I ordered a new pump because you can get one from insurance. So I was like, oh, I'll try one of the new ones that's out there. And I also bought the LV because people said, oh, the in bra pumping will be great. I don't use either of the other ones. I only use my old Modilla Medilla pump and style. And the hilarious thing about it is there's a spot to put a picture of your baby, and so I had put the picture of my baby as I thought you should do when I had Jasper Lo these many years ago. The picture is still in there, so like it looks similar pumping pictures. So that's actually really I think that's the picture for this episode. I don't know that it ever did anything for me. I was just like, yo, and now it's a cute little photo of my But Alex had walked into my bathroom at one point and looked at it and he was like, so, what is that machine you have on your on your desk with the picture of the baby. And I'm like, yeah, that that picture is your older brother, Like go ahead and believe that. Anyway, it's worked for many years and there you go. And the LV was not the miracle that even it's fine, Like it's just I haven't had that much occasion to use it. Now. I'm sure if I might take it, if I like when I fit on the plane planes like plane flights, I think that will be helpful to have it. But for being around the house, i'd rather just go sit at the table and pump there. Awesome. Well this has been a fun one. Yeah, this has been the best of both worlds. We've been talking our routines and how those have changed of lates, with a little detour into Sarah's mood resolution, which is great. I'm glad that happened with side noises in the background from Baby Henry, so hopefully everyone was not too annoyed by that one. But we'll be back next week with more on waking work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.