The One With Tamra Judge

00:00:05
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to the Give Them La La Podcast. I am here with one of my most favorite housewives and the longest standing housewife of all time, Tamara Judge.

00:00:15
Speaker 2: Oh thank you. That was quite an introduction.

00:00:18
Speaker 1: Well, you know that we have a we have a friendship that goes beyond the show. And I know how the sausage is made. So I'm a fanatic when it comes to housewives, but I think I watch it through a different lens.

00:00:32
Speaker 2: Oh for sure. And we're birthday twins.

00:00:34
Speaker 1: So we both have September, so we have that.

00:00:36
Speaker 2: We have that mine September second. Oh yeah, where you know we were talking, but we're psycho.

00:00:44
Speaker 1: I wear that with pride. So why you'll never be confused on how I feel that.

00:00:50
Speaker 2: That's what I always say. You always know what I'm thinking. You know what I don't like. I don't like somebody that's nice to my face and the talk shit behind my back or in their confession.

00:01:00
Speaker 1: Right. And you know what's wild to me is we know we're being recorded, we're being filmed, and you know we're going to do a confessional. So if I'm going to say something that I know I'm going to say in my confessional.

00:01:12
Speaker 2: I'd rather just say it to your face now, right, No, I agree with that one hundred percent.

00:01:18
Speaker 1: Get it over with I have.

00:01:19
Speaker 2: I think it's chicken shit when somebody goes and talks in their confessionals about people, but you can't do it in their face.

00:01:25
Speaker 1: Who would you say is the biggest culprit of doing that? On this season of Housewives.

00:01:31
Speaker 2: Well so far this season. You know, I'm really hurt by Gina and Emily because I truly thought that they were my friends and to hear them say the things they've said, knowing what I'm going through at that time. I mean, Emily had even said to me, geez, if this was happening to my best friend. You know, Gina, I don't know how I would be able to film this show, but knowing that and still coming for me in saying things, and to me, it's just hurtful and it makes me think like they really don't care about me, or they're really more interested in making good TV.

00:02:09
Speaker 1: When I'm watching I We've known that Teddy has been sick for quite a while now, and when I heard that you were going to go in and film this show, my heart broke for you because I don't think any of us are equipped to handle when someone like a Teddy, our best friend, you don't know. It's the unknown. And I remember going into season seven and granted my dad had died, and I know that I know that I'm a nut. I know that I go off and I can act crazy. But let's focus on what's at hand right now. I've lost my dad. So just in this very little moment, don't say, well, you've act crazy without your dad passing's let's not go there. Let's focus on the fact that my dad died. Let's focus on the fact that you don't know what the outcome will be with your best friend.

00:03:01
Speaker 2: MM. Well, here's the thing I people don't understand was, you know, Teddy's were my good friends, but also she's my business partner, and we've built this amazing podcast together. Five days a week. We're you know, we're talking, we're chatting, we're on the phone, we're on zoom. And now this is happening. Two weeks into filming it. You know, she got diagnosed and we had just been in New Orleans come back, and then I have to hold the podcast down on my own, bring in a co host. I'm doing this five days a week, and you know, like if you're recapping stuff, you have to watch it, you have to write notes all that stuff. So I would do that in the morning, go film, come home, watch the show. Sometimes I have to do two podcasts in a day, depending on how busy the Bravo schedule is with Housewives, and then do it all over again. I wasn't eating, I was in sleeping, I was taking xanax, I was It was not a good time in my life period. I won't even watch last week's episode. I've only seen clips on social media, and for what people have told me, that's it because I don't want to relive it.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: Well, I don't blame you, and you can just tell in your eyes that your heart is hurting, right. Was there a moment before when you found out Teddy was sick. Was there a moment where you thought, maybe I shouldn't go back to Housewives this season?

00:04:19
Speaker 2: Well, I was already filming, so I didn't really have much of a choice.

00:04:22
Speaker 1: Oh, you had already picked cameras up.

00:04:24
Speaker 2: I already, yeah. I was two weeks, I believe two or three weeks into filming when she was diagnosed, So I was already in it. So but every time I got very upset or emotional, my first instinct was to say I quit, I quit, And I probably did that three times this year.

00:04:45
Speaker 1: Do you think that there when you've said I quit, I've said I quit a million and one time. So we're here like, fuck this, it's not worth it.

00:04:54
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:04:54
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a real moment where you say, I really need to evaluate this? Isn't me just throwing? Yeah?

00:05:01
Speaker 2: That was that was New Orleans? Yeah?

00:05:04
Speaker 1: Really?

00:05:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I I took xanax that day that night before we went to dinner, not thinking about the two drinks I had with Shannon.

00:05:13
Speaker 1: So when you walked in and you and she asked what are you drinking? You had to have known that that was a see through cup that clearly did not like what.

00:05:21
Speaker 2: I don't even remember. I honestly, I don't remember that scene. I don't remember going to her hotel room and when I saw when I saw that, I'm like, oh my god, it's yellow, it's champagne.

00:05:34
Speaker 1: Oh it's Shamps, love of Shamps.

00:05:36
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:05:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, So have you had you had a drink with the xanax before you got to Shannon's room?

00:05:43
Speaker 2: So what I did was earlier in the day before, you know, we I can't remember what we did that day. Was it the doggie something.

00:05:50
Speaker 1: You did like the Yeah, like the parade holding the photos of your dogs.

00:05:54
Speaker 2: I'm remembering off my memory because I didn't watch. I only saw clips. And then after, like in between the doggie Pary to the Voodoo and me and Gretchen and Shannon sitting down, there was a bar there and I don't know if they showed it, but we were going in there and getting drinks. Okay, so I had I was already probably two drinks in right then.

00:06:13
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:06:14
Speaker 2: And then from there we went back to the hotel and we had like an hour to get ready, and me and Shannon said at the bar and had another drink okay. Then I went to my room and I had called Teddy on the phone. She didn't answer. I left her message. I took the xanax. I was super anxious. Probably the alcohol didn't help me, and then grab champagne on the way and went to Shannon's room.

00:06:38
Speaker 1: You were going through you your numbing. I'm sure I.

00:06:42
Speaker 2: Had a whole prescription of xanax and I was taking it. I was taken a half a one almost every day of filming, yeah, up until then. And then when I quit, I said I can't, Like I went home. I like, I can't live like this, Like I'm so sad, I'm so overworked at this point doing everything. And then Alex called me, Andy called me, and they're like, we know you're going through a lot. Take a week off, just try And even Alex said, can you just like not even do your podcast, go to Big Beer, just relax and all that stuff. And I'm like, well, I have to do my podcast, but you know, that's the least to my issues right now. It's being around these women. And then I went and saw Teddy and I was with Teddy and at that point I had no interest in going back, and Eddie supported me one hundred percent. It was just not good for me at that moment. And then I talked to Teddy and she's like, get your ass back out there. She's really She's like, if I have to deal with what I'm dealing with right now, this is a no brainer for you. This is easy, like just go. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, she's right, like, you know, stop just stop feeling what you're feeling and just go and get your job done and love on your friend when you can.

00:07:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you got to create the content, babe.

00:08:00
Speaker 2: Well, obviously I'm not myself. So now we are talking about a fatty photo for four episodes when I didn't even call it a fatty photo.

00:08:09
Speaker 1: You know what's wild is looking at that photo. She definitely does look different, Jen. Yeah, but I mean Gina is the one that labeled it a fatty photo. And I'm like, now, she's not even fat in it. I mean, she's not fat.

00:08:23
Speaker 2: She had been coming to my gym. I met her at my gym. That's how I originally was introduced to her. She started coming to my gym, she was teaching yoga. She was not fat. She was heavier than she is now, but that by no means fat. She's very very thin. She's got an amazing body right now. She's always had an amazing body, but now she's very very thin.

00:08:43
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:08:43
Speaker 2: And I was more trying to explain to her without breaking the fourth wall that I feel like she kind of honed in on me and started going to my gym and doing all these things and fitness com to me because she was a janet. Okay, she wanted to be on the show.

00:09:00
Speaker 1: Oh wait, that's interesting. Can we deep dive into that? Is that how you feel about Janet on the Valley?

00:09:05
Speaker 2: Well, that's what everyone says. I don't know. I just talking about what people say. I don't know exactly, but that's how I feel. When I feel. When I hear the other girls talking about it and how it went down, I'm like, that's exactly how I feel.

00:09:18
Speaker 1: Okay, quick pause because we need to talk about something that is very, very important. This segment is sponsored biden Itza, and we're reminding you to celebrate responsibly this Labor Day. Drinking and driving will change your entire world. Whether you get pulled over or get into a crash, things will never be the same. Getting a sober ride will change the world for the better. Drive sober or get pulled over.

00:09:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if you're planning to hit any parties this weekend. Listen up, all right. I know people love to kick back with the drink or something else, but driving under the influence not cool.

00:09:54
Speaker 1: No, it is definitely not. I've been sober since twenty eighteen, and let me tell you, holidays like Labor Day have a whole new meaning for me. Now they used to be about utter chaos, a lot of cocktails, waking up the next morning like what did I do all the anxiety in the world. Now it's all about connection and clarity and honestly, some really bomb mocktails.

00:10:20
Speaker 3: I can vouch for that. The watermelon mint one you made last year, well.

00:10:24
Speaker 1: You know I love me some watermelon. Yes, that one is one of my go tos for like summer parties. It's just fresh watermelon juice, a splash of lime, a little agave and fresh mint. You muddle that all together, pour it over crushed ice, and a boom. Nobody's even thinking about alcohol.

00:10:45
Speaker 3: Okay, but let's be real for a second. Drinking and driving will change your whole world. Whether you get pulled over, god forbid, you hurt someone or yourself, things will never be the same.

00:10:56
Speaker 1: It's just not worth it. If you're going out this Labor Day, have a play before the party starts, be the designated driver, grab a ride share, stay over, do literally anything but get behind the wheel impaired. There are so many other options.

00:11:13
Speaker 3: And hey, if you're hosting, set the tone, stalk your party with mocktail options. Make sure your friends have safe ways to get home be.

00:11:22
Speaker 1: That host totally. I actually linked some of my favorite mocktail recipes in the show notes, so check those out. They're festive, they're fun, and way more chic than sloppy drunk energy. It's just not cute, you guys, and let's celebrate this labor day with love, laughs, and the best mocktails period. So let me tell you, or let me ask you this. Who gave Jen's name for production to even hone in on her to be a housewife.

00:11:52
Speaker 2: So having a business, they would come to me cut fitness and they said, do you have any names of anybody that wants to try out for your shoh? And so I asked the girls. I'm like, hey, you know what they're asking. Jen said yes, Tatiana, who's Gina's friend, said yes. And it's the reason why Gina's on the show is because Tatiana tried out. Wow, and then a few other girls. So I gave their name. This was when this is before Braunwin was cast on the show.

00:12:18
Speaker 1: What that was years ago?

00:12:20
Speaker 2: Years ago?

00:12:22
Speaker 1: And so they finally reached out to Jen.

00:12:25
Speaker 2: So I guess they reached out to her and they passed on her. They brought braun went on, and then I don't know how many times. You know, sometimes they go through their rolodex at people and go like, oh, well, let me ask her, let me see her. They go through people that have filmed with you and all this stuff. So I hadn't talked to her in a while, like quite a while.

00:12:43
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this really quickly. Was she still married to her ex husband at the time. Yes, at the time, okay, yes, yes, So.

00:12:52
Speaker 2: I never gave her name ever again, never said anything to Castine about anybody. And then years later, you know, I get phone our text message saying, hey, the show's reaching out to me, and I'm like, oh, well, you know, try out could be good for you. I know that's what she's always wanted, right, And I didn't have any hard feelings for her, but we just weren't close, okay, So you know, so she tried out, and I'm like, and I like with anybody, I'm like, whatever help you need, just let me know, I'll help you. But she came on, and then it was always like, oh, we were best friends, and I'm like, we went to a like I invited you to a few things, but you came to my gym every day, and I appreciate that. And you spent a lot of money at my gym. But by no means were we best friends?

00:13:40
Speaker 1: I think, and I say this with love, I think she is a tad stunted. I think in her mind, maybe you guys were best friends. And you know, she's never really been on her own. She's got this new guy, and I don't want to I don't want to catch a case by bringing him up.

00:14:04
Speaker 2: I I good idea.

00:14:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I truly think that she she has She's very she feels very young to me, like I feel like I'm much younger than her, and I feel like I could actually coach her in life. I'm not going to disagree so to her benefit, giving her the benefit in her mind, her mind, I truly believe she was like we were very close, we were best friends, because I think someone who stays she was a stay at home mom, right, for many years she was a stay.

00:14:37
Speaker 2: At home mom. And then when I met her, when she started kind of my gym around the time when that picture was taken, she was teaching yoga at a different yoga studio and she was training at our studio as well. Okay, gat trading so she was putting the work in, Like you know, I'm proud of her for all the hard work that she put in and transforming her body. And we trained her to do a fitness competition and she looks amazing and she won. Yeah.

00:15:02
Speaker 1: No, she looks great. Yeah, she looks great. And and you know, I can only imagine having what does she have, like six kids, your home, you know, cooking, cleaning. You don't have a lot of time to sit here and go, you know what. I want to get to the gym by the time you're done with the day. Help.

00:15:18
Speaker 2: She had a lot of help. She was at my gym like two hours a day.

00:15:21
Speaker 1: Fuck. Oh she got the time.

00:15:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, she had the time. She has a lot of help.

00:15:26
Speaker 1: Do you find that she and confessionals does not. It doesn't align with what she's said to your face.

00:15:33
Speaker 2: I think she's been she stepped it up this year. I think she's more vocal. I don't necessarily her and I are a lot different. She likes to play victim on things and drag things out. And for me, if someone's like, you know, here's a here's a picture of you when I met you, I'm like, ah, I look like I look like shit, and I would move on, you know what I mean. I wouldn't be sitting there going, oh my every episode like I'm different like that. I'm like, move on, I don't care what you say is not affecting me.

00:16:01
Speaker 1: Well, you've got the grit. You've been through shit in your life and you yeah, you pick and choose your battles. And I totally I get that. I was shocked to see Gretchen back on the.

00:16:11
Speaker 2: TV, and not as shocked as I was, but.

00:16:14
Speaker 1: I saw that post about friendship bracelets that you did dust off the friendship bracelets.

00:16:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was May being sarcastic. It's really too best.

00:16:23
Speaker 1: And then it clicked to me and I'm like, what was the reasoning for her being brought on? And do you think that she's gonna be like on our screens every.

00:16:32
Speaker 2: Single you know what? I never know what prov was gonna do. I was shocked she was ever brought back. But here we are and here she is, and we all I can do is deal with it the best I can.

00:16:43
Speaker 3: Do.

00:16:43
Speaker 1: You guys, ever get to a good place this season.

00:16:46
Speaker 2: I try, I try all season long to get to a better place with her, and you'll see as it goes on, I have no interest in talking about things from fifteen years ago.

00:16:56
Speaker 1: Right, so much has happened.

00:16:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so much has happened since then. And if anything, after she was let go, she spent a decade coming after me, coming after my husband, contacting my daughter, like, doing all these things. I mean, up until probably two months before she filmed, she was doing a podcast about me, and I had not seen her or talked about her in years. The only time I've ever said anything is when his son passed away and the mother put out a statement in TMZ and me and Teddy read it in our headlines.

00:17:31
Speaker 1: That was it. But that's what you guys do. People should know by what the podcast is about. Yeah, yep, and it's still you read something. You were simply the messenger. So you they love to shoot the messenger. You didn't label it a fatty photo. You're paying for that.

00:17:47
Speaker 2: Oh I know, I know, and it's irritating, But you know, she comes out, she makes this post. I made zero false allegations about Slade in my podcast. I'll be more than happy to put it on my social so everybody can hear it. I then go back to the episode. I don't know it's quite a few years ago. It's like you said, it's a headline. Teddy read the headline. I gave Teddy some backstory because she had no idea because she didn't watch the show. I never called him a deadbeat dad, nothing like that. I also said Slade, you know, this is Slade's Sun and that's hard and it's sad. And I promoted to the I mean, I promoted the go Find Me and Teddy and I donated one thousand dollars.

00:18:30
Speaker 1: I think that's very nice.

00:18:32
Speaker 2: She's like she wants to find any fault in me that she can find, and it's it's exhausting to me because I'm like, girl, move on.

00:18:40
Speaker 1: Has she always been a Bible bumper? No?

00:18:43
Speaker 2: I think this is just I just don't trust anything she does. Everything's very performative, very performative.

00:18:51
Speaker 1: I saw this thing online and you had posted you leaving where you're in the car, and she has a rebuttal for you with you saying I guess I need to get a dui in order to get grace or or something like that. Yes, And she wrote a very very lengthy response to it.

00:19:12
Speaker 2: It was so long I couldn't even read it. Somebody sent it to me.

00:19:15
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh god, it was very She's harboring a lot of animosity towards you, and I've been in this space for quite some time, and it is crazy because the outside world wants to call us all hypocrites, right, But on the flip side, it's like, yeah, well that's just being a person where we all have moments of hypocrisy for sure, And you're my friend, but I'm always gonna shoot it to you straight. With this one, I didn't. I didn't quite understand it because what you were saying was actually very correct. I mean, let's just call it what it is. Shannon got into a car, thank god, no one died, okay, and a lot of people rallied around her, a lot the whole Bravo universe rallied around her. I know, I don't understand, and maybe you can, you know, shed some light on this. Why is it that you are so easy for people to talk about your past. It's brought up every chance they get. But then with the Shannon situation, it was so delicately handled, which great, I'm in the program, I understand, but she continued to drink.

00:20:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if.

00:20:30
Speaker 1: The roles were reversed, Tamra, they would have your head on a platter. Let's just call it what it is.

00:20:34
Speaker 2: They would be killing me, killing me, And it comes up. I don't know if it's going to be shared, but Gina talks about how I'm held to a different standard within this group. Everybody else can do things and say things, but if I do it, oh my god, I mean you would think like I hunted human beings for fun, Like it's like crazy, It's crazy. And it's the point now where I'm like what, I just don't know if I can do this anymore, honestly.

00:21:01
Speaker 1: And maybe I'm Maybe people will say I'm watching a different show, but I feel like you're you're held to I feel like they're held to a different standard. I've like behavior is kind of shaken off.

00:21:16
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:21:17
Speaker 1: Do you think it's because you're more intense? I have.

00:21:21
Speaker 2: I am intense, But this is the funny thing is like I haven't really been intense this season. I've been kind of down and out. And last year, yeah, I spoke my mind about Shannon and Forgretchen to say you had no compassion for your friend, yeah I did. I was there for her after I got home from Scotland. I was talking to her. We were doing the Trace a Mega show. We went to Brava Khan. She walked the red carpet and said, me and Vicky have helped her through this, you know. And then it was I found out that she was saying some really nasty things behind my back, and I said, you know what, I'm not doing this anymore. Like here, I am being your friend doing this trace of Mega show, which.

00:22:01
Speaker 1: I didn't want to do.

00:22:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're saying bad things about me. Forget it. I'm done, right, I'm done. So I had to cut that friendship off. I mean, and we work together on the show. So when it came out. Was I the nicest to her? No, But it was irritating to know everything that I've gone through ten years prior with her, and know about all the drinking and all the stuff that I will never repeat, and to see her keep drinking.

00:22:30
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine. It's hard. No, it is hard, especially when you see everyone rallying around someone and kind of enabling the behavior. I don't know if Shannon has a drinking problem that's self diagnosed, but to see people handle you in such a rigid way, during one of the most difficult times you'll ever have in your life. Like, my heart really does go out to you, and you have been mellow. I'm like, where's where's Tam? I know where you are, and I think you gave them exactly what they wanted at that New Orleans dinner where you were where you were sloshed.

00:23:06
Speaker 2: I mean to me, it's difficult because I can't hold the whole show all the time. No, and they want to like pick on every word I say to make it, you know, a storyline. But yet other people say things far worse, like if I would have said, what with the what was it the Gretchen said to Shannon, well some you know, DUI's illegal?

00:23:34
Speaker 1: Oh you would have been.

00:23:36
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I would have been annihilated. It would have been talked about for the next, you know, ten episodes. It's like it's exhausting.

00:23:45
Speaker 1: I I can well, I can imagine I know that feeling where you're like, I'm getting all the heat. But without this, what are we going to talk about? Truthfully? I don't so at what point do do you stop going back and forth with Gretchen knowing you're never going to win, especially on social media, so my.

00:24:08
Speaker 2: Post was not about Gretchen, not at all, not not not about Gretchen. Let me just be quite honest. I don't want anything from Gretchen. I don't want grace. I don't want sympathy. I don't expect it from Gretchen or gen because they're like to peas in a pod. I don't expect or want it. Where I want it from is you know, my good friends like Emily Gin and Heather, and Heather has been very very kind to me and has been through this with the process with me and Terry being a doctor, he'd be got on the phone with me in the very beginning when Teddy got sick and talk to me about things. And because you get a lot of information and you're like, don't know how to process it. Then you get online, you start googling it and you're like, oh my god. And then so Terry would talk to me. So they were always there for me. Yeah. So I understand Heather's frustration with me at in New Orleans because I you know, I heard it wasn't very nice to her. So so as a viewer, we loved it. I wasn't very nice to her. But you know, when I text her, I'm like, you know, I heard I wasn't very nice to you. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. And you know when I do come back, you know, I'm gone a week, so I'll be interested to see if I'm even off one episode. And if I'm not, that's very telling.

00:25:21
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know how. I mean, you're kind of the main source of every storyline, so I think that's going to be kind of You're going to have to be drawn in in some way.

00:25:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see, we'll see. I don't know. I'm expecting not to be in the next episode, so I'll probably watch it.

00:25:36
Speaker 1: But what is different with your relationship with Heather than the rest of the women? Why is there something about her that because she calls you on your shit, Tam, Yeah she does.

00:25:47
Speaker 2: But I you know, I love Heather. Heather comes from a place of kindness. I mean, Heather have had arguments, but we always have resolution. And I care about her and I care about her family, and she cares about you know, my family, Like every birthday. She's the first one I get a text message one my anniversary. She was in my wedding, and she's the first one that will text us like she's just a very kind person. But you know, we're also filming the show together, and if I do something that's out of line, I expect Heather to call me back, call me out like I do for anybody.

00:26:18
Speaker 1: Else, and it's you know that it's not for just the show, because you guys have a relationship even when cameras are down. Yeap. What is it like going into a reunion for you? Do you have like a prep that you go through? Do you make notes? I want to know everything from like are you bringing receipts? To what is it like to get yourself esthetically ready?

00:26:42
Speaker 2: I have in the past definitely had folders with receipts, and I you know, I think if you're being accused of something, you have receipts, like bring them right right?

00:26:51
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:26:52
Speaker 2: And then there's been season where I don't need them or I bring them and I don't.

00:26:55
Speaker 1: Use them, you know.

00:26:56
Speaker 2: So as of now, like I don't know, I don't know what I'm going to do because I haven't seen the whole season play out, and I know that I'm gonna have to watch all the episodes. There's two episodes so far I haven't watched. I know I'm gonna have.

00:27:09
Speaker 1: To watch them one of which ones have you not watched?

00:27:12
Speaker 2: I didn't watch second episode because I saw a clip. It was Gretchen's for her entrance with Ryan and Jen and you know Katie and Matt. I thought, oh god, it's just gonna be Tamra bashing.

00:27:23
Speaker 1: I just think I'm fast forwarded through that.

00:27:26
Speaker 2: That says a lot. Yeah, and then the last one I haven't watched.

00:27:31
Speaker 1: So one thing, I know that feeling. You're like, I want it to be out there. I either have to see it very far in advance so I can go through the emotions and by the time people are talking about it, I'm like, Hugh, that was a million live times ago. Yeah, or I have to watch it very far in the future.

00:27:51
Speaker 2: Right. So I just wait for my assistant to watch it, and then he tells me, like he gives me the highlights of what I'm waiting now. Job, I want to be your assistant, so that that's what I do now. So I'm like, just give me bullet points, what did I do? What did I say? I don't have to worry about who said what about me because I lived it. You know, you know how it goes you live it right, Bar is getting ready for the reunion, and we all do our shit, like let's get a botox, you know, we have to get our roots done and all that kind of stuff.

00:28:19
Speaker 1: But damn, I like this season is fucking epic. I do want to know. Does Eddie ever have a sit down where you guys, you're thinking about, you know, sending you back into the lions Den, where he's said to you, like, are we sure that this is the right move, because Tim, you don't need the you don't need the show any long.

00:28:40
Speaker 2: No, I don't anymore, that's for sure. Financially, I do not know. I you know, we do have a sit down, and of course you never know what's gonna air, right, You never know or how it's going to be put together. Yeah, you know what shown what's not shown? So and I think it is after I come home, I know, Like the first thing I do is I go to a therapy. I also talk with the show's therapist, psychiatrist.

00:29:09
Speaker 1: Is this all? Is this all shown? Are you? Are you breaking the fourth wall a lot this season?

00:29:15
Speaker 2: Well, my therapy session, my first one when I originally get home, that one, there was no cameras on me. But then a few days later, I or maybe a week later, I do film one a you know, like a week later. Yeah, so on camera. But as far as you know, you know how it goes. As psychiatrists, they want to make shows. They want to make sure you're okay and how to do like one of those five hundred questioned surveys and then get re evaluated from that. And she had diagnosed me as being very self critical, being severely depressed. She thought that I should go on I think it was like lexapro or something like that, and so yeah, so I had to go through that. So it wasn't like I just got home and it was like okay, you know, because I did go to Big Bear. I got home, I went and saw Teddy, we talked, we did a podcast together at her house. And then the next day I went to Big Bear and I just zoned out, relaxed, laughed, had fun. We had a snow blizzard going on. I was playing in the snow with a dog and just kind of sleeping. I slept so much and I just kind of regrouped. And then finally because Heather had reached out to me, I believe from New Orleans, and you know a week had gone by and I hadn't responded to her, so I said, thank you, I'm okay now, you know, I'm doing much better, and then we filmed together. She's the first one I filmed with.

00:30:44
Speaker 1: That's a I think that that is a great comeback scene, someone who you're comfortable with. I think so often people who are watching the show forget that this is such a small part of our lives that we're filming. And I love that you were able and that production and basking. They said, go and take care of yourself. Live. As much as the reality portion filming a show is real life, it's a group of women who are going through their ups and downs. There is quite a huge difference, at least for me, my reality versus my reality.

00:31:21
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And I think if people don't understand, like people process things differently, and for me, I am the I'm learning. I am the type of the person that just sweeps everything under the rug and then I have big meltdowns, you know, once a year or whatever. And pain for me is very very hard to process. I feel like when something hurts me, I legit feel like I want to die.

00:31:50
Speaker 1: Oh damn. I just like, you know, I just I want to die.

00:31:54
Speaker 2: That's all that I can think of, Like how can I die? How can I die? And that's like, you know, after I came back, like I just kept thinking like I can't do this anymore. I can't. I just felt so bad. And I know that it's maybe it's not the normal way of processing things, but that's how I did. Was not raised to talk about things. Yeah, you know, it's like I was. I always say like I was raised in the air, like don't cry. You want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about, you know. So it was you know, I don't I'm not good at that. And I know I'm not good at that.

00:32:28
Speaker 1: I don't think people give you. I don't think people understand that you lash out and I can. I feel like I can say this because I do the exact same thing, but I do that almost as a level of protection for myself. Yeah, I'm extremely sensitive, and the talks that we've had outside of all of this, I know that you're the exact same way. And when someone hurts me to my core, I go in guns blazing, and then I go home and I beat myself up for hours, days, months on end.

00:33:05
Speaker 2: YEP that's how I am too. And if I could tell you how many times one of the cast members said something to me that hurt my feelings and then said, God, I'm just so not used to you being sensitive. And I'm like, okay, maybe I'm not the most sensitive person. You don't think, maybe there's this hard exterior, but I am human, right, like I'm a human being. Like what do you expect?

00:33:28
Speaker 1: You know what?

00:33:28
Speaker 2: Else?

00:33:28
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you're going to relate to this, But there are so many times where people will say, fill me a show, have said things to me that have hurt me, but I choose not to make a big deal about it. I choose to sweep it under the rug. Yeah, But then when I say something and because they make it such a big deal, then I'm left as the asshole.

00:33:52
Speaker 2: At all times. That well, that's how the show goes for me. Every single year. I don't dwell on things, like people have said things about me. I don't dwell on them. But yet I say one thing and we're talking about it for five episodes.

00:34:04
Speaker 1: It almost makes you. It almost makes you want to flip the script and go, you know what, every time you hurt my feelings, I'm gonna bring it up.

00:34:10
Speaker 2: Well that's how I feel, you know what I mean, Like, I think that way, but it's not in my demeanor. It's not who I am.

00:34:16
Speaker 1: You'd before to change who you are exactly.

00:34:18
Speaker 2: I would have to be forced to do that, and it doesn't feel natural for me. So that's why people are like, oh, well, look at all the things she's done to Gretchen. I got done anything to Gretchen. Nothing, nothing, you know what dead beat dad? It was in the press. If my husband wasn't paying child support and it was in the press, do you think nobody's gonna bring it up?

00:34:39
Speaker 1: I think that anyone. It's not just slid. I think anyone who's not paying child support is considered a dead beat dad. Right, that's just definition.

00:34:47
Speaker 2: But they act like I just pulled it. It was like like last year with the was the last year I think the FBI. I didn't just pull it out of my ass like it was out there. It came out right, you know. So it's like, how dare you? How dare I'm still talking about stuff like that. I'm like, move on, right, And I feel like when people get stuck on things from the past, it's because they're true.

00:35:09
Speaker 1: M Yeah, it's anyone who has to pull out the history books every time you do something wrong. And then there and then you try to say you've hurt me before, Well, what have I done? I don't know, because I'm not a psychopath, and I don't keep a list of things that you've done. I've moved on. I've moved on. But I can guarantee you you've hurt me at some point, and you're welcome for never bringing it up and wasting your fucking time like you've wasted mine for the past five years exactly.

00:35:35
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't imagine Eddie going on and on about to this day about Gretchen and Slade doing podcasts and coming on Vicky, going to Vicky's birthday party, you know, doing a cameo there saying Eddie's gay. Could you imagine him just going they hurt my feelings, they said I was gay.

00:35:52
Speaker 1: But by the way, if you were to bring that up, which is another massive like you just don't do that. If you brought that up, I think the women and the audience would tell you to get the fuck over it. It happened so long ago, I know, exactly exactly. It's enough to make you feel like you're going insane.

00:36:13
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like I'm going insane, honestly.

00:36:16
Speaker 1: Like why are we?

00:36:17
Speaker 2: And that's why I don't want to watch the episodes right now, because the first part of the season was really difficult. When I come back, you will see a little bit of a change in me. I'm very a little bit of a change, yes, so it you know, I have some ups and downs still, but I'm stronger and I'm not putting up with shit.

00:36:39
Speaker 1: Good, I'm glad. I love you just the way you are and I'm not trying to kiss your ass. I think I feel like I'm looking at me and I think you're a bad bitch. And I like knowing what I'm getting with people.

00:36:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know you talked about Katie earlier. There's something about her that you know, I'm like, she's hurt, Like there's hurt in her because you know, I know she had talked about being adopted and you know, being raised in a mostly Caucasian area and the hate that she got and all this stuff. And I don't really know where she stands now with her adopted parents, but you know, she to me that I could spot it. I'm like, I don't think this is who she is. I think this is like a trauma response or something. I might be completely wrong, maybe I'm going through too much therapy.

00:37:32
Speaker 1: No, but I am said, right, Yeah, I love what you said because I think one of the truest things that she has said this season. I don't know if you've watched this episode, you guys, are she had you and you're doing like dumplings or the hot pot hop? Yeah? Yes, yes, And she said I thought this was a situation where it was eat or be eaten. And I think coming onto a show like this, it's very well known now, Like I feel like back when I started, I like, I watched, but it's it's a cultural phenomenon now just Bravo as a whole. Like if you don't watch, you still know it.

00:38:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I do.

00:38:12
Speaker 1: I think I felt that to my core is she's going into the lion's den and if she doesn't fucking like come in ready to eat, then she's gonna be eaten. Yeah.

00:38:22
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not excusing any bad behavior whatsoever, but I just see something, you know deeper.

00:38:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't that the way it is with all of us? Though? We all. We all come into life based off of our experiences. You coming in and not knowing how to process emotion and how you were raised. You know, as as a grown woman, now you're having to learn how to do things that were not normal as a kid. That's where you learn all of your your life's scare tools.

00:38:54
Speaker 2: Yep, your product of your development, your product of your environment. And you know, I'm much older than you, but back in the day, like my household. I don't know if it's every household, but my house and we do need to talk about stuff like we're like, yeah, you're fine, did you die?

00:39:10
Speaker 1: You're good. I think I think it was a I think it's a part. It's a generational thing, like I know many women. My mother has told me, like, it's weird for me to have my daughter doing reality television where she talks about everything. I was not raised that way. We were. You put on a front and everything that's at home you keep in the home, and we don't talk about feelings. I think that that is very normal, and I hope that I can break the cycle. I'm sure you're well, you are breaking the cycle.

00:39:41
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I'm absolutely breaking the cycle for my children. For sure.

00:39:47
Speaker 1: I love seeing you with your daughter.

00:39:49
Speaker 2: Ah, my daughter, Sophia. I mean I wish Spencer would film, but he's so shy. Yeah, and he filmed one year after he turned eighteen in p Bull just said such horrible things on social media and he's like, Mom, I just can't do it. Like he's just the sweetest boy. And I go, I get it. I totally get it. Every year I ask him and he's like, you know the answer, Mom, I don't want to. I respect what you do, but it's not for me. And Sophia, like, she's a natural performer. This girl, she's been performing since she was two years old. She's just all she wants to be on stage and she wants to sing. And we were going through some old videos yesterday, I mean Eddie and we were literally doubled over. These are videos I didn't even know. He download them off a old computer, my old computer. She literally was making like her own YouTube, you know, like you the computer would come on and all you'd see was a chair and she'd come up and she'd be like, Hi, I'm Sophia, how are you doing out there? And she would like give you a whole show. There must have been a hundred videos, which and how.

00:40:55
Speaker 1: Old was she?

00:40:56
Speaker 2: Five and six?

00:40:58
Speaker 1: Oh my god? How about was she have those?

00:41:00
Speaker 2: I know? And she's so funny and she was singing and hey guys, it just dropped my first single.

00:41:06
Speaker 1: Oh she's prepping. She prepped for startom? Yes? Yes, how does she handle trolls? She seems like a bad bitch? Am I allowed to say that? Sorry?

00:41:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, she's a bit. My daughter's a bad bitch. Yeah, she is a bad bitch.

00:41:19
Speaker 1: She she doesn't give a fuck.

00:41:21
Speaker 2: She doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't. I think though, you know, there's certain things like she said to me, She's like, damn, these Bravo fans are brutal.

00:41:33
Speaker 1: Been this brutal?

00:41:34
Speaker 2: No, I think social media has gotten so bad, like it's just in the toilet as far as I'm concerned, Like I've I've read some even about Teddy, Like I'm just like, who says stuff like that?

00:41:46
Speaker 1: They're fucked up?

00:41:48
Speaker 2: Like why would you say something like that? And it's you know, it's a it's a platform now that people can buy bots to attack you, and you know it's just it's dirty.

00:41:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's dirty.

00:41:59
Speaker 2: You know, Well, what I do on social media is. I go through my stories, I'll reply to some of my dms, but when it comes like I try not to like read the comments I have Cayden on my social media. I'm like, you deal with it. I don't want to deal with it. Yeah, it's really gotten to the point where and then Facebook, now we have all these fake AI stories that are out there.

00:42:19
Speaker 1: I know, did you hear I'm joining Southern Charm? Oh you are well?

00:42:23
Speaker 2: Did you know that my husband has a gambling problem and that we're getting divorced every other month? And oh my god, like it's we live in separate lives, and it's just ridiculous.

00:42:36
Speaker 1: It's scary. It is scary out there. I stay off. In fact, I loved my podcast podcast page because the comments were always just they stuck to the script. Yea, they commented on the video at hand, very productive, fun. And now I've got trolls there and I'm like, go away and get the Do I stop talking? No, because this is a podcast. Am I really having to explain how a fucking podcast works? And I took the time to do it. I took the time to respond, you know what I have to.

00:43:08
Speaker 2: I try to keep my social media pretty positive. It's about my podcast, it's about my dog, it's about my husband. You know. I don't post my kids a lot or my granddaughter, but you know, once in a while I do. But you know, it's just that one day where you're in a shit ass mood and you're like you just want to pop off? Yeah, you want to pop off.

00:43:28
Speaker 1: They they're not very frequent, but when I do, I have a heyday and then I go, why did I do that? You know what? No?

00:43:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, even yesterday? Stop, yeah, even yesterday.

00:43:40
Speaker 1: You know.

00:43:40
Speaker 2: I woke up in the morning and I saw that clip where it's like they're all making fun of me, and then I put like, what do I have to get a DUI? Then after I posted it, I'm like, why did I do that? I shouldn't have done that. That was too impulsive. But now it's out there, Shit, what do I do? So I think by midday, I'm like take it down.

00:43:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, right enough where people might think that it expired. Because what's even worse than putting it out there is doing it and someone being like she deleted it.

00:44:07
Speaker 2: Yeah. Like my assistant who's like the opos, He's like, stop doing that, don't post, don't post anything. Just be quiet.

00:44:14
Speaker 1: Oh it's so hard for that.

00:44:16
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I know, I know, I know, I know. Somebody sends you something, don't comment on it. I'm like, okay, too late, you're said than done.

00:44:23
Speaker 1: You're a little too late.

00:44:25
Speaker 2: I go, I'm going to stick to Facebook if I need to like. And he's like, Facebook comments are worse, they're old, mean people.

00:44:32
Speaker 1: Do you ever get on Reddit?

00:44:34
Speaker 2: You know what? Just recently because my assistants like, check this out on Reddit, and I'm like, oh my god, Nally, do you.

00:44:45
Speaker 1: Like Reddit better? I don't go on Reddit. I've never looked at up myself on Reddit. They are viscous?

00:44:51
Speaker 2: Are they vicious?

00:44:52
Speaker 3: Well?

00:44:52
Speaker 2: This was about a topic that was pro me, so maybe I've liked it, you know.

00:44:55
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, give me all the proms. I'll read the pro me.

00:44:58
Speaker 2: That's the only one that I saw. So I I'm like, oh, well, maybe Rudd it's better. I don't know. I don't have the app on my phone. Isn't it like an app?

00:45:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't get it. Don't get it, but just have your assistant show you all things pro you that like keeps your spirits high. I want to leave on a very high note. How is your grand baby? She is good? She is good.

00:45:17
Speaker 2: It's a funny story is I went over to visit her with her mom because they live right down the street, and so went over and I bought her a La Boo boo. Okay, what I thought was a la booboo. And I brought it to her and I she opens it up and she looked at me and she's like, Grandma, this is a lot fufou. And I'm like it's fake, and she's like, duh, it's fake. How old is she ten?

00:45:44
Speaker 1: Holy shit, she's ten already ten?

00:45:46
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:45:47
Speaker 1: Oh, and you got it. See, I would know the difference between I don't know the difference.

00:45:52
Speaker 2: I'm like, I bought it online from that pop mark or pop whatever it's called. Yeah, yeah, I thought it was real.

00:45:59
Speaker 1: And so can I ask you how much you spent on it?

00:46:02
Speaker 2: It was like forty five dollars really, but I bought three of them. Oh shit, you know it's forty five or something like that.

00:46:11
Speaker 1: I'm like, Oh, the La booboo craze, I will never understand. I was out at dinner with Janet and she was like, my dealer's coming, and I was like, I'm not doing it's Monday. Like, if this is like a party vibe, I'm not into it. She was like, I don't do drugs. It's my laboo boo dealer. I was like, that's a thing.

00:46:34
Speaker 2: Now, Oh my god. We went on one. I only the first time I saw one was it went out for Teddy's birthday in July, or maybe it was the end of August. We went a couple of days early before birthdays till I first, and then it was a bunch of her girlfriends. She's got the most amazing girlfriends and you know, out in the valley and so I she got one, and I'm like, oh my god, everybody was going crazy and they're pulling their bags out and they have them on there. I felt the need that I had to get one. Oh and so then I go and order it in. They're fake, you know. One of her friends is like, I had to drive to Anaheim, I had to wait in line.

00:47:14
Speaker 1: I know they're like a craze, but I refuse, Tamra, I can't have one more fucking weird thing that I have to store at my house.

00:47:21
Speaker 2: Well here's the thing. They'll be out of style and nobody will care in six months.

00:47:25
Speaker 1: I agree, like, I'm not in teeny babies. Oh God, don't get me start on the fucking beanie babies that my mom had me. Never take the tag off of Yeah. Cut to where we are now and like, how much is it worth? She's like twenty five bucks. I'm like, yeah, not worth it.

00:47:39
Speaker 2: Good job we stored them fifteen twenty years.

00:47:43
Speaker 1: Here we are, we stored them. I'm so happy that you did this today. I really appreciate it.

00:47:48
Speaker 2: I am too, And how much fun.

00:47:50
Speaker 1: Don't let anybody tell you that you're not fucking fantastic. I thoroughly enjoy watching you on TV.

00:47:57
Speaker 2: Thank you, Because I beat myself down and I always think, like, every year, this is it. I'm getting fired. Every year I think that, no, they don't like me. Fans don't like me, the cast doesn't like me. Production must you know, Like, I'm very close to production, and you know, they've always been very kind to me. I'm always very good to them. But you know, you never know what Bravo thinks. And I'm like, no, God, what if they read this comment, they really think I'm this horrible person.

00:48:23
Speaker 1: I have learned that they don't give one shit about the comment.

00:48:26
Speaker 2: Section. Yeah, no, I've heard that. They're the ones that told me listen, no one cares. It's three percent of the overall viewers in the world. It's three percent the people are saying. So that's where I actually heard that from.

00:48:39
Speaker 1: So now all the haters we can say, Okay, three percent, fuck right off. Yeah, not a waste of time. You're the best. I love you, I.

00:48:47
Speaker 2: Love you too.

00:48:48
Speaker 1: Have the best day you too. Thank you guys for listening to another episode of the Give Them La La Podcast. I will catch you on Monday for the bonus episode and again next week. Bye.