305 | Shared Walls and Noisy Lobbies: Preserving the CCPT Playroom Environment

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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I'm answering a question from Jill in Pennsylvania,

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and Jill's question is about

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her playroom sharing the waiting room wall.

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And I know so many of you are nodding your

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head right now because you know exactly what it is like

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to have a shared wall with the waiting room

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and your playroom is so close and so you hear the play the lobby,

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the lobby here is the playroom and it is just

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quite a dynamic.

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So

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I'm gonna read parts of her email and we'll dive into that.

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My playroom shares a wall with the waiting room.

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It's soundproofed,

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but you can still hear what is happening in the playroom

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and in the waiting room,

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and I'm getting tired of tracking,

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oh,

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you can hear your mom out there.

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For the opposite,

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I've tried psychoeducation for the parents about not making comments like it

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sounded like you were having a lot of fun in there,

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or worse,

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Miss Jill had to tell you 3 times that her body was not for hitting.

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But these statements still continue.

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I know this heightens my anxiety and I don't want it to

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come out in the playroom and affect my time with my client.

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All right,

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Jill,

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thank you so much for this.

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This is something that we discuss a lot

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how to manage noise and the

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just

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dynamics of working with children in child-centered play therapy.

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And even if it's not a shared playroom wall,

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I've had so many of you say,

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I share a wall with

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an adult therapist,

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I share a wall with a marriage and family therapist.

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I'm in an office with a whole bunch of people and none of them work with children.

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I have a supervisor that will not allow a child to remain

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in the hallway if they refuse to go in the playroom.

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I have a supervisor or a director or an owner or whoever that will not

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allow a child to sit in the lobby if they refuse to come back.

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So we all have these struggles

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when we are not in an environment

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that is quote ideal

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for providing child-centered play therapy,

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we have to find ways to navigate and adjust.

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So Jill,

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I think this is a really helpful question.

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I'm really glad that you emailed.

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So in your case,

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you are sharing your playroom wall with the waiting room wall.

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So

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even when you soundproof.

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We bought

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soundproofing hexagon panels,

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we installed those,

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we bought.

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Recording studio,

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really large rectangular sound panels,

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we installed those.

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We put door sweeps on,

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we put rugs in

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the playrooms,

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we

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put white noise,

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we put fans,

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we put music,

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we put TVs.

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We've done

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everything you can think of to mitigate noise and

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there is no foolproof 100%

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solution.

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And Maya,

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my office manager is known when

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things get really loud in playrooms,

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she will turn up the TVs in the lobby

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to try to drown out some of the playroom noise,

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and there's just,

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there's no simple solution for this.

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However,

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I will share some thoughts.

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When

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There are constant concerns about

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the exchange of sound between the lobby and the playroom.

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Sometimes it is helpful to have that discussion with parents

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and set expectations of behavior.

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Before they come.

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So,

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in this case,

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you're obviously already working with this family,

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and it seems like it still remains a struggle.

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I would advocate that moving forward,

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you set expectations

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from the very first initial parent consult.

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My playroom wall is shared with the lobby wall,

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so there will likely be times that you will hear what is happening in play sessions.

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Although we have put soundproofing in place,

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it is not

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complete and thorough,

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so you can still typically hear,

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especially if the volume gets pretty loud,

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you'll be able to hear what's going on.

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For confidentiality's sake,

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as well as preservation of relationship with

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your child

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between the two of us,

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you have to pretend as if you've heard nothing.

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And if you set that expectation from the very first initial meeting

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and you provide the why,

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which is

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I have to preserve your child's confidentiality

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and your child has to trust me and there can't be a rupture

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in the trust

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that we have that what happens in the playroom is just between us

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when it's clearly not if you bring something up that you

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heard or that you were aware of that was happening.

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So that has to be a very clear expectation

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from the beginning of your work with parents,

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and they are still sometimes,

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not all of them,

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some of them are still going to

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test that boundary.

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They're still going to make comments

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and then you have a follow up phone call where you say,

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I know we discussed this in the initial meeting,

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but I just wanna make

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you aware,

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I wanna remind you.

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That when we finish a session,

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it is important that you act as if you did not have any awareness

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of what was going on in the playroom because as soon as your child feels

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that they're not able to be free and do what they need or want

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to do in there it's going to undermine the process and if they're protecting you

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from their noise from what they're saying.

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From what they're playing,

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from what they're doing,

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it's going to stymie

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their work that they need to be doing,

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and we don't want that.

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You're here so that they can move through the process the way that they need to.

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So I just wanted to remind you again

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that when we come out,

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your job is to act as if you had no idea what happened in play sessions.

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So that's the way that you're going to handle addressing the comments from parents.

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If worse comes to worse,

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and this,

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this has happened in lots of therapists' offices,

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you let them know that they're

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going to be asked to wait in the car

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moving forward if they continue to make comments and

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it becomes a choice that's provided to the parent

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and so.

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It's really important that your child does not feel

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that you're aware of what's happening in sessions.

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And so

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it's,

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I know it's so hard not to make comments when they come out,

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but if you choose to say things at the end of our

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time together,

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you're choosing to wait in the car and then you'll actually

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not know what's going on and that will preserve relationship.

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And that makes it very clear

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that there's no wiggle room in this.

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And this is about advocating for the child.

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The child has to know

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that their work in there with you is sacred and confidential,

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and that they don't have to safeguard anyone from it.

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They don't have to protect anyone from it.

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They don't have to worry about the fallout of that.

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I mean,

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when a kid comes out and parent says.

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Miss Jill had to tell you 3 times that her body was not for hitting.

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They're getting chastised

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for struggling with complying with the limit.

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That's why a parent isn't in the room.

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That's why CCPT is therapist and child only

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because the child has to wrestle with it.

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I,

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so this last week.

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My kid was shooting hoops in my room.

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I have an over the door basketball hoop,

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and he

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slam dunked and like kind of fake hung on the rim,

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and it popped two of the screws out of the backboard and the holder that

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goes over the door on one side was no longer attached to the rim.

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So it kind of like swung down,

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you know,

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like about halfway

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and it was hanging from one of the hooks and so I said,

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oh boy,

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I think we're gonna have to put those screws back in.

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So we found the screws on the floor,

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we took it off the door and then when the session was over,

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we went into

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Miss Maya's office,

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my office manager's office,

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and we set down the screws and the backboard and the hook

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and said,

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we need a little bit of toy repair,

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Maya.

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And she laughed,

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got out the screwdriver,

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you know,

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that,

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that's standard operating procedure for play therapists,

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right?

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Like toys need to be fixed,

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repaired,

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glued,

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cleaned,

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whatever.

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And mom goes,

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did he break that?

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All right,

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now,

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mom knows that she has to act as if she

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didn't hear anything.

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But she

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saw that it was broken and was shocked and in her reaction was like,

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did you break that?

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And before Kit even responded,

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I said,

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sometimes accidents happen and it's not broken.

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We just have to put some screws back in.

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And you nip it in the bud

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because

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child can't feel chastised or judged or criticized

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because he dunked a hoop and the screws came out of the backboard.

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It's no big deal.

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Look,

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if he would have shattered the backboard,

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if it would have been in 100 pieces irreparably damaged,

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and I was gonna throw it away,

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I would have said exactly the same thing.

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Accidents happen,

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sometimes toys get broken in the playroom,

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we're gonna get another one.

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It doesn't matter.

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Relationship preservation is far more important,

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and here's why I brought that story up because mom immediately said,

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as soon as I said,

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Oh,

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accidents happen,

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and which it's not broken,

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we just have to put the screws back in,

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whatever.

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Before I said anything else,

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she goes,

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I know this is why moms aren't allowed back in the

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playroom because you allow so much more than I would.

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And I said,

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that's exactly why parents aren't allowed in the playroom,

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and we laughed about it

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and we moved on.

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Even kid laughed because he looked at me like,

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yeah,

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mom would never let me do half the stuff that I do in there.

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But that's the beauty of setting expectations.

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She knows

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that it's just me and him and it has to be just me and him for a reason.

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As far as your client,

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Jill,

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being able to hear parents

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from their side.

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Oh,

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you hear mom in the waiting room.

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That does actually happen in session and that is exactly the way you handle it.

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You just briefly acknowledge it

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only if the child makes it known that they

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are actually focused on it.

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In other words,

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just because it's audible,

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we don't need to bring that in,

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but if the kid goes,

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I can hear my mom,

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or,

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oh,

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my mom's on the phone,

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or.

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You know,

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oh,

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that's my mom's ring tone,

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that that's a really common one.

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That's my mom's phone

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when the phone rings.

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If they actually bring it up,

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then you just reflect content in the exact same way.

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Oh,

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you hear mom's phone,

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and then you move on.

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If

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what's going on in the lobby becomes a distraction.

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So we actually just had a post about this in the collective last week.

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Mom

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or dad,

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I don't remember,

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00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:54,320
parent

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waits with siblings in the lobby while client goes back with therapist

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00:10:59,849 --> 00:11:03,039
and parent started yelling at sibling

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00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:05,890
and they're basically having like a knock down drag out

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fight in the lobby and this happens apparently weekly.

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And it's so distracting and then client is like worried

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about the fight that's going on in the lobby.

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And so there was this whole dialogue about how to handle that.

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If it becomes really disruptive to where it's not just you can

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hear them talking or you can hear their phone or whatever,

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if it gets to a point where a limit needs to be set.

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You're going to set limits just like you would with any other scenario.

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So.

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You're usually in the lobby with your other kids and obviously,

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you know,

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there are certain things that are gonna happen and it's

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hard to wait for an hour and keep them occupied,

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validate,

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normalize,

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reassur blah blah,

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00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,869
but it's really disruptive when we can hear

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screaming and arguing and confrontation in the playroom.

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So I just want to let you know if that happens again,

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00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:56,299
you can choose to just step outside

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00:11:56,510 --> 00:11:58,700
and address that outside of the building,

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00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,780
or I might pop my head out

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and and let you know that we can hear you and we would appreciate

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00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:08,429
it if you could take that outside so that we can no longer hear.

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00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:11,190
You're setting expectations,

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and there's always a why.

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I have to preserve the therapeutic relationship,

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I have to pre preserve the therapeutic environment,

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00:12:18,919 --> 00:12:21,070
and I have to preserve the therapeutic work.

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00:12:22,469 --> 00:12:25,059
If you've developed no like and trust with parents,

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they will understand why you have to have these conversations.

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They're not easy conversations,

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but they're necessary

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because above all,

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all you care about

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00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,229
is making sure that

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00:12:35,479 --> 00:12:38,030
your client is able to do the work that they need to do.

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00:12:38,849 --> 00:12:43,359
They can't self-actualize with all of these external factors

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00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,979
convoluting the process,

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00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:48,140
so we try to minimize and eliminate them as much as possible.

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00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:50,630
So very direct conversations,

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00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,299
very clear expectations that are set

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and choices and limits when needed.

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00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:56,830
So Jill,

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00:12:56,869 --> 00:12:57,669
I hope that that's helpful.

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00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,849
I hope that's helpful for all of you because

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without question,

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00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:04,710
we end up with noise concerns in play therapy.

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00:13:05,340 --> 00:13:05,619
All right,

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00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:06,619
we'll talk again soon.

362
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:07,979
I hope you know how much I appreciate y'all.

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Love you.

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00:13:08,659 --> 00:13:08,940
Bye.

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00:13:10,099 --> 00:13:12,859
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

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Brenna Hicks.

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For more episodes and resources,

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please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.