393 | When to Set Limits (and When Not To) in CCPT + Removing Toys
Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy
In this Q&A episode, I respond to two questions that highlight common areas of uncertainty in child-centered play therapy. First, I address a case involving a 7-year-old with significant behavioral challenges across settings. The core issue isn't what to "do more," but whether a limit is actually necessary. I walk through the three reasons we set limits and the three questions we ask ourselves, emphasizing that if safety isn't compromised, restraint is often the more appropriate response. What may feel like behavior "on the edge" is often far from it—and staying grounded in the model, without becoming agenda-driven, is what allows the child to work through what they need.
In the second question, I discuss playroom logistics—specifically, removing slime as a recurring activity. I explain why structuring the playroom for success is critical to maintaining permissiveness and therapist acceptance. If certain materials create stress, limits, or disruption, they may be getting in the way of CCPT rather than supporting it. I also explore what slime play may represent for children, such as competence, self-esteem, and comfort, and why removing it can actually open the door for important therapeutic work. Ultimately, this episode reinforces the importance of knowing yourself, trusting the process, and making thoughtful decisions that support both the child and your ability to remain fully present in the model.
2 SPOTS REMAINING - Six-Figure Play Therapist sixfigureplaytherapist.com. The next cohort for the Six-Figure Play Therapist coaching program starts on May 21st, on Thursdays @ 3pm EST. There are two spots left before enrollment closes. Visit the website, watch the video, and schedule your 30-minute Discovery Call.
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If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast
Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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0 00:00:00,519 --> 00:00:04,280 You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks, 1 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,260 your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching. 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:08,720 Hi, 3 00:00:08,819 --> 00:00:09,840 I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, 4 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:10,640 The Kid Counselor. 5 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,760 This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,100 a master class in child-centered play therapy 7 00:00:15,399 --> 00:00:17,559 and practical support and application for your 8 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,219 work with children and their families. 9 00:00:19,799 --> 00:00:20,600 In today's episode, 10 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,100 I am answering two questions from Lana. 11 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,180 One is about a 7-year-old client 12 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,860 and one is about 13 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:31,610 Just play playroom logistics. 14 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:32,259 So, 15 00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:33,619 both helpful questions. 16 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,740 We will dive in 17 00:00:35,259 --> 00:00:36,119 before I get there. 18 00:00:36,299 --> 00:00:37,740 I don't typically do this. 19 00:00:37,819 --> 00:00:39,360 I just want to make y'all aware. 20 00:00:39,819 --> 00:00:40,840 I just 21 00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:45,180 closed out my coaching cohort for the Play Therapy Professional program, 22 00:00:45,259 --> 00:00:46,659 but I do want to let you know 23 00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:49,740 if you are interested in being in private practice, 24 00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:51,540 if you just opened a private practice, 25 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,560 if your goal is to be in private practice, 26 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:58,599 and you want CCPT training as well as private practice business coaching. 27 00:00:59,069 --> 00:01:01,889 I have my Six-Figure Play Therapist cohort starting 28 00:01:02,319 --> 00:01:03,220 in May, 29 00:01:03,349 --> 00:01:04,370 May 21st. 30 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:07,589 It will be Thursdays at 3 and I have two spots open. 31 00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:09,510 So if you are interested. 32 00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:11,089 In the notes, 33 00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:14,529 you'll find where you need to go and you can schedule a discovery call 34 00:01:14,830 --> 00:01:16,169 and we'll make sure it's a good fit. 35 00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:21,360 Just a little PSA for those of you that wanna join the private practice ranks. 36 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:22,209 All right. 37 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:22,699 So, 38 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,930 let's dive into the questions and then we'll 39 00:01:26,349 --> 00:01:27,250 take a look together. 40 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,069 I'm working with a 7-year-old child, 41 00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:30,309 session 12, 42 00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:34,510 with a history of foster care and adoption and an ADHD diagnosis. 43 00:01:35,449 --> 00:01:36,050 Behaviorally, 44 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,989 she presents with significant challenges at home and school, 45 00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,129 including aggression towards adults, 46 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:41,849 siblings, 47 00:01:41,970 --> 00:01:43,610 peer friendship difficulties, 48 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:44,949 struggles with regulation. 49 00:01:45,489 --> 00:01:48,250 She's consistently excited to attend sessions and often 50 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:50,940 initiates connection such as hugging me goodbye. 51 00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:53,440 I've used ACT limit setting when needed, 52 00:01:53,449 --> 00:01:55,029 and she has responded well. 53 00:01:55,730 --> 00:01:56,680 Some behaviors, 54 00:01:56,930 --> 00:01:57,930 feel clear to me. 55 00:01:58,239 --> 00:02:00,660 Intentionally damaging toys or leaving the room, 56 00:02:00,879 --> 00:02:03,860 and I feel increasingly confident setting limits in those moments. 57 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:06,290 Other strategies have also been successful. 58 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:06,879 For example, 59 00:02:06,989 --> 00:02:08,758 when she abruptly moves toward the door, 60 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:12,229 neutral tracking has allowed her to start to pause and self-correct, 61 00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:12,589 or, 62 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,160 at a minimum, 63 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,660 give me time to move into limit setting if needed. 64 00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:17,360 Other behaviors are more tricky, 65 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:17,800 however, 66 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:18,339 for example, 67 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,320 if she chooses a board game and wants to set it up on the table, 68 00:02:21,839 --> 00:02:25,020 she might suddenly clear the table and knock all the items to the floor. 69 00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:27,440 Objects usually not at risk of breaking. 70 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:31,139 I track the behavior and reflect the desire to play or urgency, 71 00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:33,979 but I sometimes find myself wondering whether that is sufficient 72 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,619 or whether something more is needed. 73 00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,990 She may use a harsh tone. 74 00:02:38,139 --> 00:02:38,690 Move, 75 00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:39,660 grab items, 76 00:02:39,779 --> 00:02:41,360 toss things aside on the floor, 77 00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:44,179 or at times push past me while moving in the room, 78 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,220 not aggressively, 79 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,119 but without apparent awareness. 80 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,179 She often presents with a relatively flat affect 81 00:02:50,179 --> 00:02:52,020 and can be difficult to read emotionally. 82 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,649 I've tried reflecting tone. 83 00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,639 You told me to move using that voice, 84 00:02:55,729 --> 00:02:56,119 for example, 85 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,320 and she ignores this. 86 00:02:57,809 --> 00:03:00,270 When these types of behaviors occur across settings, 87 00:03:00,279 --> 00:03:02,679 and they are contributing to her difficulties with peers, 88 00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:03,449 making friends, 89 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:05,550 conflict with members and school staff, 90 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,199 is there anything additional I should be holding in mind? 91 00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:10,169 I remind myself to trust the process, 92 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,589 and yet I notice some internal uncertainty 93 00:03:12,929 --> 00:03:14,710 about how best to understand and respond, 94 00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:17,330 especially when they can be on the edge of requiring a limit. 95 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:18,669 All right, 96 00:03:18,789 --> 00:03:19,589 so that's question one. 97 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:21,330 We'll dive into the next question in a second. 98 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:22,669 But 99 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,179 I think it's really important to recognize 100 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:26,779 your own 101 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,580 answer that you've already provided, 102 00:03:30,039 --> 00:03:30,979 which is, 103 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,720 you're on the verge of setting a limit, 104 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,940 but you're not because the limits aren't necessary. 105 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:37,190 So let's, 106 00:03:37,279 --> 00:03:40,369 let's pause on that note and then I'll go to the next level. 107 00:03:40,869 --> 00:03:41,330 So, 108 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,589 we have questions that we ask ourselves. 109 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:48,169 But we also have unspoken rules for why limits are required. 110 00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:48,850 So, 111 00:03:48,949 --> 00:03:49,699 pop quiz time, 112 00:03:49,910 --> 00:03:53,369 what are the 3 reasons we're going to set a limit unequivocally every time? 113 00:03:55,589 --> 00:03:56,690 I'm sure you all knew. 114 00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:57,949 I have to be safe, 115 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:58,550 you have to be safe, 116 00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:00,029 toys can't be broken on purpose. 117 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:00,779 All right, 118 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:01,669 so then, 119 00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:05,820 If we recognize that none of those qualify, 120 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:06,600 she's safe, 121 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:07,149 you're safe, 122 00:04:07,229 --> 00:04:08,690 the toys are not getting broken, 123 00:04:09,229 --> 00:04:13,350 we know that we aren't going to immediately set a limit because it's not warranted. 124 00:04:13,789 --> 00:04:16,470 But then we have 3 questions that we ask ourselves also. 125 00:04:16,779 --> 00:04:17,630 Pop quiz number 2, 126 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,450 what are the 3 questions that we ask ourselves? 127 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,359 I'm sure that was also effective. 128 00:04:23,989 --> 00:04:24,269 I can, 129 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,670 I imagine y'all like yelling at me and it makes me so happy. 130 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:28,980 Like I just sit in silence, 131 00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:31,709 but I can imagine like all of you screaming out your answers. 132 00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:32,570 It makes me happy. 133 00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:33,380 OK, 134 00:04:33,589 --> 00:04:35,890 so the questions we ask ourselves are, 135 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,910 is this limit necessary? 136 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:39,399 All right, 137 00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:39,940 so 138 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,619 if we've ruled out, 139 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:42,399 I'm safe, 140 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:42,920 you're safe, 141 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,859 toys are not getting broken or damaged. 142 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,230 Do I need to do anything? 143 00:04:49,019 --> 00:04:50,820 What sometimes begins as, 144 00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:51,299 oh, 145 00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:53,399 I have this propensity to set this limit 146 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:55,200 if we actually say, 147 00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:56,239 but is it necessary 148 00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:58,600 and we pause and we give it a beat 149 00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:00,220 and we just wait. 150 00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:01,519 Often 151 00:05:01,619 --> 00:05:02,500 we end up going, 152 00:05:02,829 --> 00:05:02,940 no, 153 00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:04,140 I don't need to set a limit here. 154 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:07,709 So that is probably a helpful litmus test 155 00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:08,950 in this scenario. 156 00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:10,190 Second question, 157 00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:12,649 can I consistently enforce this limit? 158 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:14,820 In other words, 159 00:05:14,869 --> 00:05:16,269 if I'm going to set this, 160 00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:18,609 is this just a this moment thing, 161 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,850 or is this something that I'm going to enforce 162 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:21,649 forever? 163 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,670 Because once a limit is established, 164 00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:25,029 it is established. 165 00:05:25,869 --> 00:05:28,100 And often we set limits flippantly and then 166 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:30,149 we get ourselves in trouble because we're like, 167 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,769 I can't enforce that 4 weeks from now. 168 00:05:33,470 --> 00:05:33,809 All right. 169 00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:36,920 So be mindful of is it consistently enforceable? 170 00:05:37,109 --> 00:05:38,350 And then final question. 171 00:05:39,209 --> 00:05:41,489 Which sometimes shoves us in one direction or another, 172 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:42,320 quite frankly, 173 00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:43,160 is, 174 00:05:43,329 --> 00:05:45,809 can I allow this behavior to continue and 175 00:05:45,809 --> 00:05:47,989 still maintain full acceptance of the child. 176 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:49,489 And I don't know this, 177 00:05:49,609 --> 00:05:49,920 Lana, 178 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:50,380 for sure, 179 00:05:50,489 --> 00:05:51,910 but my gut tells me 180 00:05:52,489 --> 00:05:56,649 that part of why you're questioning this is maybe that 181 00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:57,579 it 182 00:05:57,730 --> 00:05:58,910 bothers you to a degree. 183 00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:01,369 Maybe you don't like being told to move. 184 00:06:01,489 --> 00:06:03,359 Maybe you don't like her shoving you out of the way. 185 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,529 Maybe you don't like her swiping the table. 186 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,559 Maybe there's something at the deep part of you like subconsciously, 187 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,239 real small. 188 00:06:11,369 --> 00:06:11,549 I mean, 189 00:06:11,609 --> 00:06:14,000 I don't think you're overtly reacting by any means, 190 00:06:14,329 --> 00:06:18,309 but maybe there's this tiny little part of you that just kind of bristles 191 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,149 at the whole thing and so 192 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:23,029 you're kind of leaning towards setting a limit. 193 00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,929 Can you unconditionally accept the child 194 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,790 if she does that every week for 30 weeks straight? 195 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,320 And for some of us, 196 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,040 sometimes the answer is no. 197 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,890 You might get to a point where you're like, 198 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:38,839 I am so frustrated 199 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,089 that you keep doing this, 200 00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:42,239 you're no longer accepting the child 201 00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:43,480 and therefore 202 00:06:43,619 --> 00:06:46,119 it's potential fracture in a relationship 203 00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:47,880 and therefore it requires a limit. 204 00:06:48,869 --> 00:06:51,410 Is it violating one of the unspoken rules? 205 00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:52,429 No, 206 00:06:52,709 --> 00:06:53,309 because you're safe, 207 00:06:53,429 --> 00:06:53,790 she's safe, 208 00:06:53,859 --> 00:06:55,230 and the toys aren't getting broken, 209 00:06:55,429 --> 00:06:57,730 but maybe it's a conditional acceptance. 210 00:06:58,359 --> 00:07:00,540 And if we can't unconditionally accept, 211 00:07:01,470 --> 00:07:04,549 Then we're not at the heart of what CCPT is all about. 212 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:06,720 So 3 reasons, 213 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,100 3 questions. 214 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:09,519 In this case, 215 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:10,989 hearing what you've described, 216 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:11,399 at least, 217 00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:11,880 Lana, 218 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,390 I would not set a limit here. 219 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:14,760 I don't think a limit is needed. 220 00:07:14,829 --> 00:07:15,880 I don't think it's warranted. 221 00:07:17,339 --> 00:07:20,959 Now I'm gonna tackle the second layer because the second layer is 222 00:07:21,579 --> 00:07:24,559 you're realizing that this is happening in other environments 223 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,820 and they're contributing to difficulties because parents are 224 00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,619 reporting this and school are reporting this. 225 00:07:30,179 --> 00:07:30,630 So, 226 00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:32,820 is there anything else you should be holding in mind? 227 00:07:34,559 --> 00:07:36,489 You should be holding in mind that that's the very 228 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:39,089 reason why she's playing this stuff out in your playroom. 229 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:42,660 It's not happenstance or coincidence 230 00:07:43,239 --> 00:07:43,769 that 231 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,959 she's working through this stuff with you. 232 00:07:46,239 --> 00:07:47,320 She knows she needs to. 233 00:07:48,649 --> 00:07:50,519 If she's behaving like this in the playroom, 234 00:07:50,559 --> 00:07:53,600 it's because she has to figure out how to adjust. 235 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:55,829 She's trying to become a better version of herself. 236 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:57,630 So, 237 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:58,720 the, 238 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,040 the bent 239 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,739 or the inclination sometimes is, 240 00:08:03,239 --> 00:08:03,640 oh well, 241 00:08:03,679 --> 00:08:05,380 I mean this is like one of the major 242 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:07,029 issues that this child's having. 243 00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:10,119 Like this is one of the things that the parents get most frustrated about. 244 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,470 So I'm going to take this opportunity to really 245 00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:14,799 make sure that they understand that this isn't OK, 246 00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,750 and we do it in a CCPT way, 247 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:17,220 maybe. 248 00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:20,670 It doesn't become like a directive teaching moment per se, 249 00:08:20,929 --> 00:08:23,690 but we use it as this very subtle way 250 00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:24,910 to quote, 251 00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:27,450 help the child understand what's going on. 252 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:28,709 That's agenda driven. 253 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,559 And it is directive in nature, 254 00:08:31,980 --> 00:08:33,260 and it's not CCPT. 255 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:34,200 That's a drift. 256 00:08:34,979 --> 00:08:35,207 So, 257 00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:36,739 what do you hold in mind, 258 00:08:36,859 --> 00:08:37,369 Lana? 259 00:08:37,739 --> 00:08:40,799 You do trust the process as you already answered for yourself, 260 00:08:41,739 --> 00:08:42,558 and you 261 00:08:43,018 --> 00:08:43,758 believe 262 00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:46,119 that by staying adherent to the model, 263 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,359 That's all that she needs. 264 00:08:48,739 --> 00:08:50,349 She doesn't need anything more from you. 265 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,630 And when you said 266 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:54,820 you have uncertainty when it's on the edge of requiring a limit, 267 00:08:54,979 --> 00:08:57,000 I think one of the challenges we all face 268 00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:57,799 is 269 00:08:58,059 --> 00:08:58,919 push the needle. 270 00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:00,630 In other words, 271 00:09:00,849 --> 00:09:04,510 what at one point we say that's on the edge of requiring a limit. 272 00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,270 To hear you describe this scenario, 273 00:09:07,349 --> 00:09:07,710 granted, 274 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,950 I'm 21 years in and thousands of kids in, 275 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:10,409 but 276 00:09:10,869 --> 00:09:12,150 I hear that and I go, 277 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:13,030 Oh my gosh, 278 00:09:13,109 --> 00:09:14,630 that's so far from the edge of a limit. 279 00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:17,130 Like there are 47,000 things 280 00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:19,489 that would be closer to the limit than that. 281 00:09:19,989 --> 00:09:21,659 So we're always trying to 282 00:09:21,869 --> 00:09:23,130 adjust the threshold. 283 00:09:23,669 --> 00:09:26,210 We're always trying to ease toward the compass 284 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:27,489 and the needle going, 285 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:27,869 nope, 286 00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:28,219 I, 287 00:09:28,309 --> 00:09:29,179 I can handle that. 288 00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:29,950 I can handle that. 289 00:09:29,989 --> 00:09:30,830 I can handle that. 290 00:09:31,409 --> 00:09:31,419 Because 291 00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,690 the more permissive we can be, 292 00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:35,450 the more autonomy the child has. 293 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,039 The more we're able to be fully CCPT. 294 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:46,530 The playroom is not meant to have a lot of rules and expectations and limits. 295 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:46,979 We're, 296 00:09:47,039 --> 00:09:49,080 we're trying to be as permissive as possible. 297 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,700 And limits are only needed when they're needed. 298 00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:53,710 So I hope that that is helpful. 299 00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:53,950 We're, 300 00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:56,190 we're all struggling at times with limits. 301 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,619 It's one of the trickiest skills. 302 00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,169 So I really appreciate the question. 303 00:09:59,270 --> 00:09:59,469 All right, 304 00:09:59,549 --> 00:10:00,849 let's move on to question two. 305 00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:04,739 I'm navigating a practical shift in my playroom and would value your perspective. 306 00:10:04,989 --> 00:10:05,869 During my internship, 307 00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:08,570 I had a small caseload and offered slime as a choice. 308 00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:11,429 I restocked materials between sessions and ensured 309 00:10:11,429 --> 00:10:13,250 the same amount was available per child. 310 00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:15,000 I absolutely love slime. 311 00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:16,489 God bless you. 312 00:10:17,469 --> 00:10:18,090 No thanks. 313 00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:19,369 However, 314 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,510 now that my caseload has increased, 315 00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,090 it's becoming harder to clean up, 316 00:10:23,270 --> 00:10:25,530 harder to maintain the materials consistently, 317 00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:27,820 and in my new shared carpeted space, 318 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,510 it does not work particularly well. 319 00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:30,729 I can imagine not. 320 00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:34,929 I've also noticed that with some of my more exuberant slime makers, 321 00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:38,090 I feel my own anxiety rise around the mess and containment. 322 00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:41,070 I currently have two clients who choose slime every session. 323 00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:43,250 I want to phase this out as a choice 324 00:10:43,429 --> 00:10:44,590 and approach this thoughtfully, 325 00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:48,109 but I'm unsure how to best do that in a way that feels congruent with CCPT. 326 00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,929 Especially since I expect at least one of them 327 00:10:51,309 --> 00:10:52,710 to push me for the why. 328 00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:57,260 I'd really value your thoughts on the underlying why of this choice as well. 329 00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,869 My sense is that for both children, 330 00:10:58,989 --> 00:11:00,130 there's a sensory piece 331 00:11:00,429 --> 00:11:02,109 and that slime connects to mastery, 332 00:11:02,349 --> 00:11:03,260 tolerance for mistakes, 333 00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:04,030 and self-esteem, 334 00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:07,929 but I'd love your perspective on what might be met through this type of play. 335 00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:08,830 All right, 336 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:11,309 so two-part question on question number 2. 337 00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:12,650 1st, 338 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,289 Every single one of us needs to know 339 00:11:16,989 --> 00:11:17,510 ourselves. 340 00:11:17,979 --> 00:11:17,989 I, 341 00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:18,190 I mean, 342 00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:18,590 honestly, 343 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:19,950 in CCPT know thyself, 344 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:20,409 y'all. 345 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:22,849 You need to recognize what 346 00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:24,969 you have bandwidth for, 347 00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:26,809 what you have tolerance for, 348 00:11:27,109 --> 00:11:31,109 and what sets every part of the session up for success. 349 00:11:31,869 --> 00:11:32,619 In other words, 350 00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:34,510 if you have materials in the playroom that 351 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,359 you're constantly having to set limits on, 352 00:11:36,789 --> 00:11:40,750 if you have options in the playroom that make a disastrous mess, 353 00:11:40,859 --> 00:11:43,450 and you're constantly frustrated when you're cleaning it up, 354 00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:46,630 if you have carpet and you have all kinds of liquid stuff in 355 00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:49,270 your playroom and you're always worried the carpet's going to get messed up, 356 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,369 and then you're going to have to 357 00:11:50,729 --> 00:11:52,580 pay your landlord to clean the carpets, 358 00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:55,289 and then it's going to be an increase in your lease and so on and so forth. 359 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,090 That's 360 00:11:57,429 --> 00:11:58,650 getting in the way 361 00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:00,489 of CCPT. 362 00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,169 The goal is 363 00:12:02,309 --> 00:12:04,650 we structure our playrooms for success 364 00:12:04,869 --> 00:12:07,099 so we can be as permissive as possible. 365 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,729 The child can have as much freedom as possible, 366 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,190 and we're not getting to a point where we can't 367 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,090 allow the behavior because we can no longer accept the child 368 00:12:15,789 --> 00:12:16,960 for those reasons. 369 00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:19,359 I do not have liquid paint in my room. 370 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,369 I do not have liquid glue in my room. 371 00:12:21,599 --> 00:12:23,780 I do not have any materials for slime. 372 00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:25,530 I do not have glitter in my room. 373 00:12:25,659 --> 00:12:27,349 I do not have sequins in my room. 374 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,719 I do not have pearler beads in my room. 375 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:30,760 I do not have. 376 00:12:31,179 --> 00:12:32,780 There are so many things that 377 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,280 over the course of time 378 00:12:34,409 --> 00:12:35,169 I was like, 379 00:12:35,739 --> 00:12:37,739 this just gets in my way. 380 00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:39,099 I'm getting in my own way. 381 00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:40,419 I'm getting in the child's way. 382 00:12:40,479 --> 00:12:42,159 I'm getting in the way of CCPT. 383 00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:45,390 I'm going to structure my playroom for success. 384 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,130 So if you reach a point where you're like, 385 00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:48,969 I, 386 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:50,789 I just can't have this in my room anymore. 387 00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:54,349 It absolutely makes sense to remove them. 388 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:56,729 And I think it's very helpful 389 00:12:57,119 --> 00:12:59,299 that you are trying to do this thoughtfully, 390 00:12:59,309 --> 00:13:01,809 because when a child is used to doing something, 391 00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:05,190 it is important to try to provide them with consistency. 392 00:13:05,429 --> 00:13:06,330 And so you have your 393 00:13:06,859 --> 00:13:08,150 perpetual slime makers, 394 00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:10,090 they're going to want to keep making slime. 395 00:13:10,549 --> 00:13:12,030 Let me tackle your second question, 396 00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:13,109 and then I'll come back to this one. 397 00:13:13,229 --> 00:13:15,809 So what do I think is at the heart of that kind of play? 398 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,929 It very much is a competence 399 00:13:18,159 --> 00:13:18,510 thing. 400 00:13:19,109 --> 00:13:19,809 And 401 00:13:19,969 --> 00:13:21,849 there's all kinds of stuff worked in there. 402 00:13:21,929 --> 00:13:22,090 I mean, 403 00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:25,150 it's probably under the umbrella of self-esteem because there's 404 00:13:25,289 --> 00:13:26,450 likely perseverance, 405 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,479 there's likely problem solving, 406 00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:29,030 there's 407 00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:30,270 competence in there, 408 00:13:30,739 --> 00:13:31,799 and essentially it's, 409 00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:32,669 it's comfort, 410 00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:33,250 you know, 411 00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:36,429 if a child can come in and do something that they know how to do 412 00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,270 and that they can do successfully 413 00:13:38,969 --> 00:13:40,429 and it makes them feel good 414 00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:41,190 and. 415 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,400 They're willing to tough it out if things don't exactly go as planned, 416 00:13:44,479 --> 00:13:47,140 and then they sort it out and they're proud of the outcome. 417 00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:48,809 All of that is self-esteem build, 418 00:13:48,919 --> 00:13:50,260 but it's also safe. 419 00:13:50,719 --> 00:13:53,099 So for some kids it's likely 420 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,830 this is something that I feel really competent in, 421 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,840 and so it's an easy gravitation. 422 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:58,590 For others, 423 00:13:58,599 --> 00:14:01,059 it's probably more of a self-esteem build. 424 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,599 But in either scenario for the two that consistently use it. 425 00:14:05,359 --> 00:14:07,580 It would make absolute sense 426 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,099 to just not buy any new materials. 427 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,190 In other words, 428 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,719 what you have on hand 429 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,059 can get used up. 430 00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,289 And then when 431 00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:19,090 those materials have been consumed, 432 00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:21,159 there's nothing to replace it with. 433 00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:23,890 And then that is a very truthful response 434 00:14:24,229 --> 00:14:25,010 when the kid goes, 435 00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:25,349 Wait, 436 00:14:25,469 --> 00:14:26,309 where's the glue? 437 00:14:26,349 --> 00:14:27,030 or where's the, 438 00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:29,549 I don't even know what you use to make slime other than glue, 439 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:30,059 so I, 440 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:30,650 I'm out. 441 00:14:30,789 --> 00:14:33,729 But where's the whatever that they normally have access to? 442 00:14:34,109 --> 00:14:34,390 Oh, 443 00:14:34,469 --> 00:14:36,969 you're noticing that I don't have any more of that. 444 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:38,280 Why? 445 00:14:38,390 --> 00:14:38,510 Where, 446 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:38,729 where, 447 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:39,559 where did it go? 448 00:14:39,669 --> 00:14:39,830 Oh, 449 00:14:39,909 --> 00:14:40,030 well, 450 00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,130 it got used up. 451 00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:42,919 OK, 452 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,859 so now you're telling a truthful answer 453 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,940 as to why there isn't any more in there. 454 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:48,799 And 455 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,020 when a child 456 00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:53,739 does not have access to something that they've always had access to, 457 00:14:54,309 --> 00:14:57,109 we do this in very infrequent scenarios, 458 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:57,599 by the way, 459 00:14:57,669 --> 00:15:00,179 we're trying to be as consistent and predictable as possible. 460 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,059 But for example, 461 00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:01,799 if we decide, 462 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:02,239 you know what, 463 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,340 I have to remove that from the playroom 464 00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:05,799 for safety, 465 00:15:05,919 --> 00:15:06,719 for sanity, 466 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:07,549 for 467 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:08,520 acceptance, 468 00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:09,179 whatever, 469 00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:09,590 I, 470 00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:11,200 I'm no longer going to have that in there. 471 00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:14,760 It actually allows a child to sort through 472 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,989 therapeutically necessary stuff. 473 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:17,719 Because 474 00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:19,390 has that become a crutch? 475 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,419 Has that become the easy choice? 476 00:15:21,669 --> 00:15:25,500 Is that something that they depend on and they have very low frustration tolerance? 477 00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:27,059 Can they not handle change? 478 00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:28,500 Do they feel disappointed? 479 00:15:28,549 --> 00:15:29,690 Do they feel betrayed? 480 00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:32,609 All of those things that are going to come up possibly 481 00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:34,590 when there's no longer slime materials, 482 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,309 they're all therapeutically necessary and valuable things to address. 483 00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,130 So we never have to be concerned 484 00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:41,869 that 485 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:45,190 we're somehow doing some detrimental thing when we remove 486 00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:47,190 something if it's necessary to be taken out. 487 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,710 And we give truthful answers. 488 00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:50,289 Oh, 489 00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:50,530 well, 490 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,989 lots of kids use slime and I ran out of stuff. 491 00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:54,369 Well, 492 00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:55,429 you gonna buy more? 493 00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:55,849 Oh, 494 00:15:55,969 --> 00:15:58,510 you really hope that I buy some more slime stuff. 495 00:15:59,609 --> 00:16:00,549 And then 496 00:16:00,849 --> 00:16:02,489 they sort through what they need to sort through. 497 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:02,950 So, 498 00:16:03,369 --> 00:16:04,250 I hope that is helpful, 499 00:16:04,359 --> 00:16:04,609 Lana. 500 00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:05,599 Thank you for the questions. 501 00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:06,239 I appreciate it. 502 00:16:06,289 --> 00:16:07,250 If y'all want to reach out, 503 00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:08,250 I would love to hear from you, 504 00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:10,070 brenna@thekidcounselor.com 505 00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:13,890 or you can always call 813-812-5525 506 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:16,479 and you can leave me a message and then I can answer your question that way. 507 00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:17,289 I love y'all. 508 00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:18,130 We'll talk again soon. 509 00:16:18,289 --> 00:16:18,570 Bye. 510 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:23,440 Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks. 511 00:16:23,659 --> 00:16:25,570 For more episodes and resources, 512 00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:30,530 please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.