Brendan Sits Down in the Hot Seat

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Speaker 1: What's up, guys. We have a jam packed episode for you guys today, So we're not going to spend too much time talking about the episode because Becca, it was kind of straightforward right until the end, Right until the end. What do you guys really want to hear is from our guests, and we have should I say, the Man of the Hour, but I don't really need that as a compliment, the Man of two hours. It was two hour episode. We have Brendan on the show today who will be answering all our burning questions and Becca, but we're not going to take it easy on him. No, no, no, I have no doubt that you're going to ask the tough questions. And I'm just excited to hear from him because as a viewer, I'm left very confused, as I'm sure Tasia was in that moment, and so we have to pick his brain. And like you said, the Man of the Hour, we we just got to get him on. But before that, we saw, you know what, I would call him pretty straightforward episode in the most part. Yeah, it's your typical fantasy suites and I think we can kind of go into it a little bit. Nothing too major happened and your standout moments. I think it's great that they had Ivan and Zach back to back because in that regard, we see Ivan Taltasia he's fallen in love with her, and we say, we see Zach say, I'm in love with you. So already we're off to a great start. We have two awesome contenders. You know, something's going to happen in that third one to starve the pot and make her think like, oh maybe I don't have like three guys who are really here for me. That's what I was at least thinking watching these first to go down. I feel like that was the more of like the solid, the solid front runners up top that aren't really in their heads per se. I don't know what did you think of the date portions for both of those dates? I mean, with Ivan, I definitely thought he was the weakest link in that ice bass. Tasia was pulling him in and she was like, you know, she was holding it together. It was cute, but Ivan telling Tasia that he loved her, Oh my gosh, you looked like just like this giddy young boy, just so eat. I mean, oh my gosh, it was such an innocent, sweet moment. Then fast forward I've think pretty with Zach and Tasha. I've been saying, I don't see it. I don't see it. Well, folks, I saw it today or I saw it last night. I saw Tasia had a twinkle in her eye when she was looking at Zach and he says, I love you, and she says I love you, and I say, oh my gosh. The producers giving us too much. I mean, they've literally said they loved each other. That's not the same reaction she had to Ivan on their day right even after the Fantasy Suite. So I'm like, game over, folks. I mean, that's what it seems like. You know, she's in love with with Zach and he's in love with her. And what I like about their relationship is it has a good balance. It has this serious and they have these great tense, in depth conversations at times, but then it's also balanced with this playfulness and she just like watching them. I feel like she can just feel like it feels like she's free, like she can just laugh and giggle on like they're rolling around in paint and they're jumping on the beds, and it just feels like there's this really good balance that I think any relationship means. And yeah, I mean she she told him she was falling in love with him back, which I was not expecting. Maybe it's just like me, who I was so guarded with that word, and I really wanted to reserve it for like one one, one person at the very Yeah. So I was surprised, but in a very pleasant way. Yeah. Well, so far she hasn't only told one person that she was in love with them, everyone else that's been falling. What I do love about Ivan and Zach is they clearly both adore Tatia, which is what she deserves. She doesn't have to question him, you know, like they're no doubts. They adore this woman, and I love love to see that from these men. One thing I do want to say, also about the ice baths is I would like everybody to note that these ice baths were sitting out in Palm Springs in August. They mark pold. Okay, I would just like to point that out that it probably felt amazing to them to be in an ice bath in one hundred and twenty degree weather. Okay, I just I just have to note that, you know, kudos to them. I'd also like to note the real stars of this episode, Polly and Nil Lang. Yes, Polly, Oh my god, I saw Polly. My heart Melton. So for listeners who don't know who Polly is, he's always like the behind the scenes and he's the guy raising a piece of paper flagging you down when you can give out your next rose to a man that is Polly. You're with him day in and day out. He keeps the men and the women in line on the seasons and he Oh. When I saw I was like, Polly, I mean, it's about time he's been in front of the camera, you know what I mean. He wears all hats he wears, he truly does, and this hat I liked on him in front of the camera with the microphone co hosting with Chris Harrison. It was great. You guys, Polly is a gym, a diamond in the rough, and I'm glad that he's getting his spotlight. And then you have Nil Lang, which, of course I meant no word from the playing of the piano to the not remembering Tatia and Brendan's names. That was a voiceover, hands down, it was a voiceover. He had no idea who he was talking to. Okay, he probably thought it was me and Brian. No idea went straight. I live for nil Lay. That was such a great date. But they know they were wrong for setting Brendon up with that type of date. I mean, he looked like a deer in headlights. We'll talk to him more about it. Um. A couple of things that happened in this episode as well, So I mean, we see what happened with Brendan. I don't want to get too much into it. I know you don't either, Becca, because we're gonna ask Brendan all those questions like why talk about it when we could talk to the man himself. No, yep, no room to speculate. We don't have to guess about it. We can just get, hopefully the truth from Brendan. Um I pulled up in this episode. You know I was gonna say, but before we bring him on, we got to give a shout out to you, because you, of course, I think, in perfect timing, show up to give Tacious some advice to pick her brain. I think she truly needed that girl time. And I can imagine how long you two actually sat down and talked for versus what we saw on TV. So were there any standout moments or anything that she had mentioned when you talk to her that wasn't specifically aired that you want to share. It's so funny you ask. I talked to Tatia for a little over three hours. I would say, let's just say this is all I'm gonna say. You don't bring the first black bachelorette to come back to fly across country in the middle of a pandemic, to quarantine for four days and one hundred and twenty degree weather in Palm Springs for her to ask general questions about the men that are left to the next bachelorette of color. There was a lot less out in that conversation, which I'm a little disappointed about because I felt like my role, which I said, was the big sister that Tasia never wanted to have, and I meant that. But we are living in as we know, twenty twenty has been one for the history books, and there is a lot of racial injustice that's going on. And they were in a bubble and it was just and just it's hard to be an interracial couple period coming out of this franchise, And so I asked a lot of questions about race and just more so asking Tatia if she had asked those questions, and just making sure that they were prepared and on the same page, because the only way to be successful, even outside of talking about race, is to make sure you're on the same page when it comes to things. How will you now I gate this world as an interracial couple. How does your family feel about you being in an interracial couple? Have you dated outside of your race? How will it be to raise bi racial children? How do you feel about Black Lives Matter? How do you feel about the current administration and how they've reacted to Black Lives Matter? And you know, police reform. These are questions that need to be asked. These are questions that we're not showing on the show that you know, I'm a little disappointed about, and we really went in depth with it. But I am happy even though America didn't see it. It doesn't matter. I was able to have those conversations, that conversation with Tasia, which is what was most important, and I feel like we really were able to talk it out. She was able to ask me questions. I was able to ask certain questions about the men, and you know, I hope that it helped her in making her decision and she really got all the clarity that she needs to help for. However, she ended all of this yeah, yeah, I think out of any of the past batcheurance, you were the one who needed to be there, especially that week when it's down to the wire too. I think open her eyes maybe a little bit more in to make sure she is asking those right questions because because you've done this before and you and Brian are now this beautiful success story that is an interracial couple that she could take note and learn from. And so I'm glad that you were still there even though it wasn't shown, which you know, after we've seen what Ivan had talked to her about and other little like snippets here and there, I wish they would have included a little bit, but again, talk to us. But one thing I did want to ask you, because when we had Tasha on on the podcast at the top of her season, you guys had this moment where I was like, what the hell is being talked about? I am so out of the loop where you asked her, did what did what you think happen? Or how did you word to did what you want to happen happen? Did what I say would happen happen? So okay, A great question, Alex. She said yes on the podcast, yes, but then we learned later at the Friends Giving that we weren't talking about the same thing. But still she said yes. So when we were sitting there talking, she was telling me about Ivan Zach, she told me about Brendon leaving, and she also told me about Ben. So that's those are the men that I had heard about. That was it? Yeah, And I remember I even said, I was like, who's your first impression role. She's like, oh, some guy named cancer. And I was like that didn't well. And I said to her, I was like, wow, it sounds like it may not be over with Brendan or Ben. And I kept joking and looking over my shoulder and saying, I feel like somebody's gonna walk through here any minute, Like I feel like somebody's gonna come back. No one ever came back during that moment, but I kept saying, gosh, it just didn't seem right the way those two ended. Somebody's got to come back. Well, as we see in this episode that somebody does come back. It just happened after me with the worst timing yet again. So that's what I was talking about when I was like, dude, what happened? Did what I say happened happened? She's like, yes, because it is. Yeah, so just not Brandon, but with Ben. Got it Ben? So obviously segueing into Ben, now, yeah, he comes back because he much much like we've seen him throughout this entire season, he doesn't quite know how to articulate his feelings, his emotions. The timing isn't there, and so basically this is a hill Mary's shot to go tell Tasha how he truly feels and to try and get her back, or to come back and be part of these now you know, final three. So yeah, it's obviously a cliffhanger. We don't know how it's gonna end. We don't know she's going to bring him to the Row ceremony. I'm very in drinked because I love how you see the shot of her through the window blind saying there's a Row ceremony. What do I do with that? As she's pointing to the other room, Ben is sitting and I'm like, hmm, this is gonna be good. And if he does come back, what does she then say to the other guy, it's like, hey, I sent Ben home a week ago and Brendan was supposed to be here, but Brendan left, and now Ben's back. I would be like, what the hell did I miss? Like I'm gonna be I'm gonna be disappointed to Tasha if she keeps Ben. You sent him home. That is a decision you make. You have to stand in your decisions. You have to be matter of fact. You sent him home for a reason. That reason doesn't change just because he's, as you said, throwing a hell mary as I said last week, giving her just enough to stay along so he can continue this journey. No, bro, you don't know how to express your feelings for whatever reason, to Tasha. That's something that she needs in a relationship. You're not giving to her. She sent you home. Go home? Yeah, go home? Why there's no reason for him to stay. And if he stays and somebody else goes home and he gets to stay, beccare do the podcast? Do the next podcast by yourself? But I was kidding. I would, honestly to be so shocked by that because like he like he was your top four and he went home for a reason. As you said, he couldn't articulate things, he couldn't give you what you needed in that moment, so you made Clotatia as the batchelor made this decision. So it's like, and had Brendan not last, would would he have even come back? And like stacked up against these three really strong relationships, and I think just got even stronger from Fantasy suitets. Oh my god, I cannot talk from Fantasy Sweet Week, and so I like, I truly I can't imagine her bringing Ben back. I really like, in any world, I can't. It just doesn't make sense to me. We would have had a Samario situation on our hands. I would be like or like, Okay, showed up at the Rows ceremony with Nanna and she's like, let me move this podium. You don't belong here. You don't get to stay here, you don't get to mess things up. Because do I want a relationship with a man who has to be has to hit rock bottom for him to realize what it is that he needs. You know what I mean? I have to go through extreme measures just to get you to see what you really want or to say what I want. Not Ben's got to go. Yeah, I don't want to see him on my TV screen anymore. I'm sorry, I just don't. His time is up, it's over, It's over, I know. Unless I'm looking for a trainer on Venice Beach, I don't need to see, which I am, so Ben, you can train us. But as a thirty year old woman who is in this situation too fine lasting love and to find a lasting relationship like he's not it like she has other contenders that are that are thoughtful with their words and their actions and know what they want and can tell her and show her that. And that's what somebody wants in a partner, somebody who can step up and stand out and be like the solid rock free, which I just don't. I don't think Ben is for her now. He's not portatious. She's got her manner literally either this way or that way. You got Ivan and Zach on one in who just adore you and would literally just like throw themselves in front of you, know, like anything, you know what I mean to protect, And then you've got Brendan and Ben who just can't get it together so well. And speaking of Brendon, I think it's just time that we have to bring him on because I know everyone has been waiting to hear from him. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, we are bringing on the man who send us all antitia a little bit last night. Please welcome Brendan. Well, welcome Brendon. How have you been. I've been really good. I've been awesome. It's been a crazy couple of months watching it all back and unfold, but I've been back home with my family and working on the roof. It's about twenty five degrees out today, so that was beautiful. But I mean that I've been good. So we okay, because we've had this conversation before you hopped on because I thought from just hearsay and Instagram that you were a model, but it turns out you are a roof Yeah. Yeah, So I my father was a painter and I've been paying things since I was probably eight or nine years old, and then start to work for my uncle in the roofing industry since I was sixteen or seventeen, and then I've done modeling on the side. I've done modeling in Boston, in LA lived in LA for a little bit. But I definitely enjoy it and it's a great artistic expression for me. But yeah, the way I pay my bills is definitely on the roof fixing leaks. So how old are you, Brendan? I you know, and and forgive me because every time you're on the screen, it definitely says your name, your age, and your profession. Let's forget forgettable person. Yeah, I know, I get it, I get it. How old are you? I just turned thirty one? Okay, okay, so thirties okay, okay, love that. So Brendan, Yes, how has it been though watching the show back, like now that you're seeing we're almost towards the end now at this point watching the show back knowing how things I'm full with you. We'll get into that later. But with your family and friends. What's your take on watching it and is a weird? Yeah, it's very weird. And initially the first couple episodes, it's watching it back, and even how my family described watching it, I was kind of like floating in the background, didn't really make my mark too much. And yeah, that was a weird transition getting into the mode of what was to come, and then watching it back. Of course, seeing yourself on TV is strange. And then you, you know, living this experience, in this journey and all these different emotions, ups and downs and seeing it unfold, seeing yourself crying on TV and all that good stuff is strange. So how have your family and friends been. Have they been supportive? Like were they all for you going on the show? How they been not watching you off the show and knowing kind of what has transpired since then. Yeah, my my family, it was mixed emotions. For my family. Their brother, who who came to the hometown, was was very supportive and he's just a sweetheart, and and um, I was like, yeah, I mean, if this is uh an avenue for you to to find love and have an amazing experience and um, you know, pursue potentially, um, you know, developing a relationship with a woman that you could fall in love with. And and my sister and my mom they were a little more unsure of the entire experience and if it was truthful or not, and if like the guys were just there messing around and trying to be on TV and even the Bachelor, if they're there for a true genuine reason. So, but my my two brothers were surprisingly enough like yeah, yeah, go for it. You know this is a um, you know, great opportunity for you to, um, you know, see how this unfolds and see if something could happen. And my my mom and my sister were kind of unsure, but after the factum yeah, they're definitely have bi. I took that leap and went on the show. Um. They absolutely fell in love with Tasia. Uh, you know over the course of watching every episode, so um yeah, they they loved every second of it. And obviously having my niece and whatnot there last night on the Hometowns was it was a treat for my whole family. How did you initially get onto the show? Did you apply for yourself or was it your brother or a friend? It was actually just the show reached out to me. Um, yeah, the show reached out to me, and it was it happened really really fast. Um And obviously a unique point in my life where I was a single man. It hadn't hadn't happened much, and I haven't had much time in my life where I was I was truly single, So um yeah, a unique point in my life where uh and obviously I had the time and you know, the availability to pursue that. Yeah. So the show, reached out to me and went through the steps and all the different processes to make it, um, you know, come to fruition. So um yeah, that's how that kind of happened. I had a two part question for you. So twice on twice, on two occasions, you said when you had your one on one with Tasia, you said that I don't know if you told her. You said in an im that she was like, you're type, and you were like, and then when you were talking to your brother, you were like, you know, she is my type. Yeah, Brendan, are you down with the sisters? Uh? Yeah, I am. I don't know. Um yeah, yeah, like I really am if if you know me, Um, I I love uh, I love some some you know mocha skin. I love some caramel skin. I really do. It's um, you know, not to not to say that I don't love, you know, people with the same skin color as me as far as attractive, but um yeah, I definitely I've definitely been more so drawn to those type of women with a little little darker skin. Um. I caught it. I was like, okay, yeah, there's the other question I have for you. Because Becca asked, how did you get on the show, you were, and this seems to be a running thing when we asked those guys how they got on the show, it seems like they were reached out to about it. Did you have any idea about had you watched The Bachelor before? Did you understand the concept of the Bachelor at all? I honestly never watched the full episode in my life, and I the only episode I've ever seen was when you were the Bachelorette, and I was like at my mom's house walking through the living room, and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, you know, this is cool. I don't know what's going what's happening here and then and then I'm kind of messed up in a way, but happy it played out this way. Where I didn't research the show at all. I didn't like watch past seasons to see how it should play out or anything like that. So yeah, I mean, I was just kind of did my thing was true and genuine to how I felt in each and every moment. But yeah, some of the other guys like Damar and he knows every single contestant that's ever been on the show and other stuff, and I had no idea what to expect. Really so everything. Like if you see my face in every single group date or whatever Chris Harrison comes along, I'm just like in awe of what's happening? You know, another time we're getting naked or whatever, something something crazy going on. So was there ever a point early on still when there was still a lot of the men left, whether it was with Claire or Tasha, where you were like, what the hell did I get myself into? Like for real, what am I doing? Yeah? Yeah, without a doubt. It was within the first night where it was two, three, four or five in the morning. I hadn't had a chance to speak with Claire, and then we go into the roast oremony It's like seven or eight in the morning. Um, and I'm like, oh, you know, I'm going home. This was this was, you know, the biggest waste of time of my entire life. But um, standing there like, oh, of course I'm gonna go home, and like what did I get myself into? Uh? And then you know, I stuck a rash and Claire kept me around just to just to try to torture me a little bit more, which these crazy things. And then obviously the you saw the Dodgeball date I'm assuming where um, yeah, Claire was like, okay, guys, now you actually have to get naked, and I'm like, wait, um, you know, I assume this was like a joke where we're gonna cut it off. You have to have us take our little tiny jog straps off. I'm like, I have nieces and nephews and family back home that I don't want to see me get naked on national TV. So walking home, I was like, what in God's name am I doing here? But but thankfully Tatia came along. So and thankfully you weren't you use yeah, handled it, handled it? Well? Yeah, yeah, not for a second. Did I blame Claire or you know, um, I was clear definitely joking about her intentionally torturing anybody, was it was? Yeah, I didn't think that she wanted to embarrass anyone or anything like that. It was just I'm a little more reserved than probably some of the other guys, and it was like, you know, I was like, oh god, you know, is this is this what the entire experience is going to be? Like basically, well, I'm glad that you brought that up, because even Rachel and I got some flack on the podcast for talking about that date when the guys did get naked and they said, like, you shouldn't be condoning this, like if roles were reversed, that would not be okay. But it's good to hear that you had a choice and you could keep the jockstrap on. You can participate or not participate as much as you wanted. Um So, hopefully you didn't feel pressured into, you know, having to fulfill this fully fully stripped name. And yeah, so you you mentioned you just said, you know, thankfully Tatia came along and we finally got to know you a little bit more. And um so, going back to the beginning I guess of Tatia's season, because you got that very first one on one, which historically speaking is a big deal. I seek deal, it's a huge deal. I think most people that get one of the first initial one on one dates tend to just go further in the process. And so when you had that one on date one on one date, we obviously see so much chemistry between the two of you. M So, tell us a little bit about that, Like, were you shocked when she gave that to you? Did you feel like you both had this intense, insane initial connection. And then what was it attract what attracted you to her so much? Obviously, like aside from her looks, Like, what was it that really attracted you to her? Yeah, I mean initially it was when you know, when she entered the room, literally the first thing outside of her beauty that I noticed in a lot like guys said this, but I feel like I thought of it first, but she she did this like little wiggle um where I was like, Okay, she's you know, and that that I felt like that just like encompassed all the amazing qualities up Tasa and just like a little quick movement where I'm like, Okay, she's not she's taking this very very seriously, but she's also going to be her true, genuine natural self. She's gonna be silly and goofy and but at the same time like sweet and gentle. And that that's the biggest impression that I had of hers. Like every time I was with her. Um, she obviously made me feel amazing, but she was just so gender and sweet and I'm certainly drawn to personalities like that, um, and that it was like, it was so amazing how she was gentle, kind, sweet, but balanced like that strong confident woman as well. Um and uh it was certainly sure of herself. Uh and everything she said and did. Um. But that first night, the first conversation I had with her, UM, I thought it went really well and uh, I was like, okay, we're we're vibing, We're I think she's like she's looking at me, like not looking past me, waiting for who's coming next. I think she was really like in it and committed to that conversation. I'm sure most of the guys felt that way too, but a lot of the other guys were like, hey, you know, I have my my my turtleneck on and whatnot, so she probably was like, you know, who's this kid? But UM, I feel like she she gave me like a double take, and that's something I didn't notice. But a lot of the guys were like, oh, I think she you know, she gave you a quick like double look before she hugged you. So um. But still at the end of the day, I was surprised that I got the first one on one. Um. You know, I'm I'm confident person, I suppose, but I'm always like, Okay, there's other the studs there like Spencer. You know Ben obviously, um easy, like all the I'm like, these guys are studs, you know, how why would I get the first one on one? Uh? But you know played out that way, and I was definitely grateful for it. Well, you got to be a confident man to wear a turtleneck in the middle of Palm Springs something. I'm just gonna say it. Yeah, I'm just gonna put that up there, just to remind all the listeners. They were in Palm Springs in the middle of the summer. It was August. Becca and I were both there. It was the hottest time. I feel like we've been nice enough. Excuse me, I'm tick sip. Okay, let's go. Let's go one. Then let's talk about last night. I don't even want to talk about stuff in between, because at this point our listeners really don't care. We need to understand what happened last night. Becca and I talked about this a little bit last week on the podcast. Yeah, we are personally tired of the narrative of the person who comes on the show and makes it far enough only to leave on their own. It doesn't make any sense. And we asked you, you know, did you watch the show before. I wasn't an avid. I didn't watch the show before either, but I know the show ends in an engagement, and since my season and Becca season, the show ends and boyfriend and girlfriend. So now the rules are just kind of up in the air. You don't have to get engaged. Everyone watching is trying to understand why you would take it this far and then pull yourself out, because it's very obvious that Tasia was into you. I mean, after your first date she was like, that's it. You know, it's it's Brendan. I don't understand why you would would take it that far if you knew you weren't ready. Yeah. No, that's an absolutely great question and very understand why people want to know. And for me, what I set out to do since day one was just be myself and be genuine and lived each and every moment, you know, and be as true as I possibly can be UM and going into this crazy experience in Journey, Um, you know, I didn't know what to expect UM, and I didn't know if this would work for me, um. And and you know, finding uh, Tasia Um as amazing and beautiful as she was in that connection was true and really there, UM. You know, I was gonna take it day by day, and as I moved farther along into the process, UM, I try to be as true to myself and not UM do anything for any other reasons than any any other factors outside factors. So UM, as amazing as Tatia was, I wanted to do something that UM wasn't gonna in the long run hurt her. UM in the long run, be worse than the moment of what we saw last night. UM. So I think the biggest takeaway from me was, UM, I know I want the family. I know I want a wife and children. UM. But knowing and being completely ready where it was something I discovered that there was a little gap there. It was a little gap UM that I need to close at some point, and I need to figure that out for myself. And knowing that I am not a complete man, and I've been through that relationship before and I've been married UM, and understanding and being okay with with not being entirely okay uh and being okay with UM, you know, looking at someone that's so beautiful and amazing and saying that you know, this seemingly could work, and this this could be an amazing thing for us. Um, but I don't want to hurt you any more than this moment will down the road. UM. So UM, yeah it was. It was really really tough for me. Not gonna, not gonna act like it was it was an easy decision, um, clearly, but it was. You know, I have this beautiful, amazing woman right in front of me, and uh, for some reason that I still wrestle with today. Um, you know I self sabotaged the moment. Um. You know, I was protecting myself in a sense. You know, I was protecting myself, um, from getting hurt. And and uh you know, as as corny as that is, as stupid as that sounds. Um, you know I have been married before, and uh, I feel like it would be a disservice to Tatia in a way if I went into an engagement and I got down on one knee, Um, and I wasn't completely one hundred percent all in and ready. Um. And yeah I want to so because as a viewer, I mean, the moment Tasia came in, we see this connection between the two of you and this chemistry and you can just tell you guys are drawn to each other. So it really and that was I think kind of the storyline between you two. It was very steady up until I would say hometowns. Obviously you questioned it a little bit with your family of just like, am I one hundred percent fully ready for like what's to come at the end of this if it is me? But it really wasn't until last night or well, I should say, like your day portion with mister Neil Lane and like looking at the rings and the jewelry and talking about that future and like what that could look like between you two. Is that that moment when you were looking at those rings where you're like, holy shit, I'm actually not ready to do this, Or when did it really hit you? Because that night you go in and I think Tasia could tell that something was off, that you guys were disconnected in some sort of way, which obviously then leads to the conversation that then you went home after. But where was that moment where you actually were like, Okay, I have to now sit down and have this combo with her and really hash it out and say I can't get to where you need me to be at the end of this. Yeah, So it was it was probably a few days a day or two after the hometown date where I started to kind of shrink to myself instead of potentially going all the way. And I notatious here for a husband, and she's here to leave engaged. And of course it may come off a certain way where I made it so far and didn't commit, but I was truly, genuinely with every fire but my being, trying to see if this could work for me, and before taking it into the fantasy sweet portion of the date and the journey and before making you know, having an intimate moment with patient, before taking it to that next level. Um, I came to the realization that I don't know if I'll be able to get down on one knee at the end of this. And you know, and obviously I'll say it a million times and I can't reiterate it enough, you know, how perfect she is. Uh. And so that made me kind of internalize everything and look inward as far as um, yeah, there's there's still some healing, there's still some growing that I need to do within myself to potentially be ready for that. And yeah, the after the hometowns and and uh, again I'll preface all this was saying I most certainly self sabotaged. I, um, you know, brought this upon myself, and I definitely have, um, you know, certain regrets as far as uh, you know, not necessarily something I did or said, but regrets as a whole um that it didn't play out certain way. Well, I think you should because here's the thing. I hear you, I hear you, But everybody knows what this show's about. So when you say, you know, every time you accepted a rose at a rose ceremony, that's one step closer to you moving towards an engagement. You know that there are no tricks or anything like when it comes to that. So to me, it's such a cop out to say while when I was on the nil lane day or after I saw hometowns, you know what, you're moving towards every single rose ceremony, and so I find it it's very hard for me for you to just wake up and then realize it's happening. I don't understand that. It honestly doesn't make sense to me, and so what I would I'll, you know, let you respond to that. But then at the same time, do you think that that's selfish on you on your part? Because it sounds like you were never ready for this. Yeah. Yeah, um it was, you know, going into this journey. I knew, of course what the end result would entail it if I were to go all the way, but I never promised um, you know, Tatia, or promised anyone that I was going to be able to get there. It was from day one with Tasia. Every time you accept a rose, you're making that person we're talking to two former leads, You're making them feel like you're moving because Tatia's intentions never changed. She always said what she wanted, and when you accept a rose, that's what you're accepting that you as well are willing to move forward towards what she wants. So yeah, it's never verbally said it, but you did it with your actions by staying every week. That's why I ask you, do you think that you were selfish? Yeah? I think it was as a whole. It was it would appear to be a selfish move on my part of how how things ended. And again you might not be able to look at it in this way, and you know it's obviously for for everyone's uh you know, judgment and opinion on it. But I was trying to be as as selfless as possible as far as um, you know, not taking this to the very end with Tatia and informing her of this then you know, not being the last guy, uh and dropping this bomb on her then um or not, you know, because it would have been so much easier for me to to go all the way, um, get engaged, and then figure it out later. And that that was a kind of a big idea for the guys, like you know, this engagement is just kind of permission to date afterwards, and that was the underlying theme of some of the guys. And that's not how I took it, uh And and it's um, you know I could have. It would have been so much easier if I just made the end, we got engaged, and we figured it out after. But that's not something that I was willing to do. His eyes, That would have been no, no, no, of course, of course. But but um, as far as how the show played out and then we figured it out after. Um. And but my true intention, like every single day of course excepting a rose, was me agreeing to continue this journey. Um. But I did my best to see right now, yeah, he's not he's not hearing it. No, I, Um, you know, I took every day as I'm going to do my best to see if I can cultivate these feelings in such a short amount of time and truly only knowing Tatia for you know, a month's time, and and you know, having those little pockets of time with her and moments with her. Um, I was going to give those moments everything I had and commit to them one hundred percent, and I was going to see if it worked for me and see if I could really genuinely fall in love. And I really did grow strong, strong feelings for this amazing, beautiful woman, but unfortunately I wasn't able to completely commit to getting down on one knee. And I completely understand any backlash that will come my way, because of course, you know, that would have been an amazing ending to an amazing journey, and so I want that. So it's a weird world because obviously Rachel and I were leads and we went through the entire process. We both did get engaged and Rachel did go on to get married. So the show does work. And I think just being in this position, like the number one question I get asked from people is is the show real, like do you think you really developed true feelings for somebody? And my response is always yes. I mean like I was with my person from the show for two years, like it truly can work. But maybe for somebody like you who had never watched a full episode, like yes, at the end of the day, you know what you're signing up for and that there is an engagement on the line, but you really don't know until you're in that bubble per se where you have to see the person, have to interact and see how they are with the other other contestants as well. So I'm just trying to play deadvils. Oh my god, I cannot talk Devil's advocate here a little bit, to try and put myself in your shoes to see what you're feeling. And there is a lot of pressure on the show, like that's there is on the contestant side and the lead side. But I guess it's just hard knowing how much, especially a lead puts on this entire journey, like we take it so seriously, and not to say that you didn't, because I don't know, And it sounds like you really were trying to be selfless here, but as a lead to have gotten that far with three of your top guys that you are so into that you really truly could see a future with. It's hard getting to that point and having somebody back out and be like, oh, just kidding, you know, this is a little too much. I'm going to bow out now, which I guess leads me to a question. Then, if a conversation between you and Taitia took place where she had expressed Okay, maybe I understand you're not ready, but I have all these strong feelings for you. And if an engagement wasn't on the line, and she didn't say, hey, you need to get down on one knee and proposed at the end of this, would do you think you would have stayed and continued to explore that relationship. And do you think if that would have been you and her at the end, that you would have continued on in that relationship or would it have still been too much too fast? Yeah? I think I think if an engagement wasn't something that she was really truly looking for, and you know, at the end of this, if it wasn't you know a certainty that that you know, proposal was going to be there. Yeah, I definitely would have would have stuck around and continued the journey. What do you say to people who would say you waited until you got to the top three. I'm sure DeMar the encyclopedia, who could tell you everything about the Batchelor franchise knows that puts you in prime position to be the next lead. Right like your top three, you're in a position to be the lead. What do you say to people who say, will you stay long along just enough to be in contention to be the next bachelor? If they, you know, if they knew me, and of course people that don't know me. Um, you know, I don't know if I would ever accept that role truly and genuinely. That would be something that obviously I would have to talk to my family about and really think about it and pray on. But I don't think as I sit here today, I don't think I would accept that that role. Would be very very grateful for the potential opera tunity, but I don't think I would accept that. Um. But as far as the self eliminating aspect of it, UM, I was just so so hopeful that Taitia meeting my family would kind of remove any doubt I had and solidify the already strong feelings I had for her. UM. And it's not like I always knew I wasn't going to be able to do it and propose at the end. I just had my doubts and I wasn't gonna pretend they weren't there. UM. And I was really really hopeful that you know, my my family, my my older brother UM coming along and reassuring me and saying, this is UM. You know, if this is something you want to do and you feel strongly about UM, then go all the way in on And unfortunately, UM, I was very hopeful. But it after that moment is as amazing as the day was, and amazing as the hometown's worrantation. Meeting my family UM and spending time with my niece and that was just absolutely amazing. UM. I was like, oh shoot, I don't know, I don't know if I can do this. This this didn't solidify those feelings that I was hopeful that it would. So yeah, oh boy, it would make sense for you to be the bachelor, just saying based off of what you've the reason for you self eliminating, how could you then go on a show and navigate thirty plus relationships because you couldn't thought the women if they self eliminated, because you know what it's like to be in that space, And then how did you navigate? You only had one woman to focus on, who you know, you've complimented and said is fantastic, which she is, and now you've gonna have to go through thirty plus women who are the same way. It honestly wouldn't really make sense if I were to be the bachelor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, That's why I'm truly not not in this. I didn't accept this amazing opportunity for uh to be the bachelor, to go on paradise or whatever. I as I sit here today, I don't think I'll ever do this again, you know. And as amazing as this was and as grateful as I am for this experience, UM, I was like, I'm going to see if this could work for me, and and you know, by the grace of God, Tatia came along and obviously it played out as it did, and it not the happiest of endings for me. Um, But I'm not here to be the bachelor, and UM, I think that's that's probably Ben's Ben's job. The next time around, but he's more suit he's more suited and cut out. You would be great or Paradise. So Paradise is different. You'd have more time to navigate. But yeah, he gave you more time and interest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he'd be great on that. Well, I want to ask you this because last night, when you're having this hard, hard conversation with Tasia before you do go home, you mentioned that you still do feel this sense of brokenness and that you're not fully ready to give yourself fully to somebody, and that you're still working through some of that pain and the healing. So going through that and living through this experience or this journey, I guess if you will on the bout Surette, have you learned lessons that you can take now into your real life or have you worked on healing just in your own home, your own space with your close loved ones that can help you now heal your head in your heart in a way where you are ready to give yourself fully to somebody. Yeah. Yeah, I think that through the course of my time on the show and obviously being in interviews, and you'll have your phone and TV and any distraction, all you really can do it is look inward and obviously through the help of amazing producers and the other contestants, and obviously in a sense tay show where you're constantly self reflecting and trying to navigate your own feelings emotions. UM. So that's something, of course I've never done in my entire life. And then um, discovering certain things about myself, coming to certain realizations where um, yeah, this is me, like I can't I can't hide behind anything anymore. Um, and this is this is me as like, uh, still a broken man to a certain extent. And I put on this front with my family and friends, uh and people I interact with that you know, I'm generally always happy and um uh you know, cheerful and smiling and joking around. But yeah, there's a little part of me that's still, um, you know, still a wound that that uh you know, isn't entirely healed, and I don't know if it ever will be. UM. And most certainly after the show and since being back, um, you know, slowly but surely um, understanding who I am and working through different feelings and emotions and um, I think one of the biggest takeaways from the show is like I'm not gonna jump into a relationship even if it's just dating. And you know, if I'm not, of course you have to date to see if it might work out or you can get engaged and married and everything. But I'm not just going to date to date and you know, see what happens. And um, you know, I'm gonna you know, really be specific and as far as who I pursue and whatnot and whatever you know comes my way. Uh, it's going to be intentional and you know, so um yeah, and it's going to be a process. Obviously, I'm you know, thirty one year old man now and and uh you know I'm not a not a twenty something y're old. Um, so it seems strange, and you know, it might seem strange that like, dude, you've got you've got all these problems and whatnot, and you're you know, uh not you're insecure about certain things and relationships and you're protecting yourself and you might self sabotage relate relationships in your life. But I am who I am, and you know that's all I can do is be myself. So I'm still working through things and trying to be the best version of myself every day and that's very real. That's very very real. I just gotta say for somebody going through a very recent breakup, like take the bouchere and your experience there aside, I think it's so good that you as a man and women. I think men and women both should do this. I think women tend to just do it a little bit more. Is to take time for yourself and to really think about your past relationships and to learn and grow and what worked and what didn't work, and realize what you need moving forward, both in yourself and in the potential partner. So partner, So kudos to you for even recognizing that and taking the time and the effort that goes into it, because quite honestly, I don't know many men that would do that, that would have that mentality. So I think that's that's very commendable. Yeah, thank you. I think that you know, listen, you sat through the tough questions. I'm not I would much rather that you left than you get down on one knee, you know, for show that I appreciate and I think as hard as it was for Tasia to see you go, because I know for a fact she would have given you a rose at the rose ceremony. I think that she appreciates that she didn't have to deal with that later on. So like, as much as I don't like how it happened, definitely commend you for doing that. And I think that when you do, heal yourself. I think I literally told back of the story there's something about thirty one. Okay, I remember I tell you that my sister, my little sisters thirty one too. There's something about thirty one. I was thirty one when I went on the show, and I was came from a relationship five years that I thought we were going to get married, heartbroken, devastated. There's something about it where you just, I don't know, you really just start to figure things out and look within and know exactly what it is that you want. And I feel like when you get to that place where you know you're ready, there's a beach calling your name, I think Paradise. Normally I would ask you if you wanted to go to Paradise, but you know, like you've already said, you know, you want to make sure that you're right and you're ready. But Paradise, I think would be fantastic for you, because we've seen relationships that work. You have more one on one time you get to know that person, and then you have multiple people that you get to meet and know and it's not just one person. So I think you would thrive. I know the ladies are already in your DMS, and I'm sure tell us, tell us what tell us one person from baschlination that's been in your DMS, because I know just one Bachelor Nation. I honestly I haven't, like I barely look at the DM like I'll give it a scroll every now and now doing now, oh, take out your fall look into your look into your DMS and scroll for that blue check because I don't you know stuff. I know you're like, yeah, Brendan, you're you're a good looking man. You're you're very in touch with your emotions. We don't like the way it went down. Oh he sees it. Think that one stuff we need go to top requests, go to go to top requests. Um, even if it's non batination, if it's somebody good right, like maybe like a model, but no, this is embarrassing. I don't think anyone like that, anyone, as I promise. Okay, ladies, damn brand while you scrolling through all those dms. Have you and changed to talked since you left? Because obviously usually her time to confront most of the men is at mental all and you weren't there because you know, we still saw you at Hometowns and going into Fancy Sweet. So have Fancy Sweet week. So have you guys chatted since then? We haven't. We haven't. I've I've tried to be very respectful of you know, I'm not completely certain how the rest of Tatia's journey plays out, and I don't know if she's engaged or not. And obviously if she is engaged, it would be to you know, one of the last remaining guys that that I respect and care for a great deal. So I don't want to, um, you know, reach out just yet. I definitely plan on doing that, and you know, I when after next week or excuse me, after the last episode. Um, you know, I'm definitely planning on reaching out and just expressing, um, you know, my my feelings for her as far as the amazing, beautiful woman that she is, and and you know, apologizing in any way of for making her experience harder than it should have been and reassuring her you know how amazing my time was with her, and I enjoyed every single second I was with her. Um, but I want to wait until after I kind of see what and then and go from there. That's it happens all the time, So don't feel like when we were leads. I think I've talked to almost every person from my season, even my top twos, threes, fours, you know, so it really way like, you know, because once things are up and running again, you're there's going to be times and events and moments when you run into each other, and so it's People always think it's like such a weird world, but it's really not, you know, unless you ended on terrible, terrible terms, which you didn't. Um. Yeah, I'm sure you guys will run into each other and hopefully can hash out and have a good conversation. But I want to ask this, since we're getting to the good, juicy stuff. You mentioned earlier in the podcast that there were some guys who made it seem like, oh, you know, like we'll get engaged but now we can just date, and that didn't maybe take it as seriously, So who are they? I need? Um, I can't I'm not gonna say any names. I can't, but but there were I think who specifically said that, Uh it's someone I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say, but I think more so you can very clear and evident who some of the guys that I love. But some of the goofballs you know, in in between, um that were you know more so uh dealing with each other back and forth as opposed to spending time with Asia and uh Rachel. Were you closest to in the house who were like your boys? My my my boy, boy, my my my guy from from night one was was Joe. Um, yeah, he's uh yeah, he's the sweetest guy. Yeah, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met. And um, we would have like since we're in the same limit together and spent time the first night, and then from that point on we were we were best friends on the show. But yeah, Joe and I've seen him, um since and and he's, uh yeah, he's gonna be one of my close friends for a long time. And I love Ben. Me and Ben spent a lot of time together. He was trying to trying to put some muscle on me. Towards the end of the season. Yeah body, Ben, Um, yeah, I love Ben. He's he's smart, handsome, um, intelligent dude. Where he uh was very very sweet, you know, like would didn't seem like we were competing in any way. He was just like, um, you know, made the best man win and and um and Ivan Zach is an amazing guy. Easy. I thought Easy was like the funniest dude in the entire world. Ed was actually eds the funniest dude in the entire worlds. Second, Um, yeah, who I got a literally got along with every single guy. Um. I and Bennett didn't really talk ever. I think he's too too intellectual for me. We just couldn't couldn't connect. So we're you know, it's a great guy. Me and Riley weren't like super close. He was like to himself a lot, but um, yeah, most of the other guys we were very very close. And yeah, I mean I was one of the more more quiet, you know, to myself guys, but slowly developed like real relationships, which hopefully I have always good is all those relationships are key. Okay, before back to ask her last question, I have to ask you this. When you were dancing at hometime, what song was really playing some some some all these uh eighty songs. No, no, it was some some no name song just to beat um. But what we actually saw I think, I think so, I think it really so you know, you know, if I had a real beat and in a real song like some drake or something, I would have you know, I would have gone off a little but that you were dancing to a real song. But they just couldn't know that play it, so they just put a beat over it. But they really onlyk you just a beat. Yeah, thirty seconds and like the interest side the bust real quick. What was supposed to happen was my niece. We were going to do like a TikTok dance and she kind of got shy at the last second. So it was like a moment where nothing was happening. I'm like, all right, I gotta try to save this moment here and move a little bit. But then ended up just embarrassing myself. And it was fun to see, like we love what we could see another side of you. So it was a fun momento. All right. Well, we have our last question that we ask all of our guests, and basically it is what is your and what is your rose of the entire experience, Like, so your highlight and low light. I think my highlight was definitely my hometown date and just having my family there, and you know, you see me like crying half the episode, It wasn't you know. They pieced together some other moments of left me being emotional and made it seemed like I was crying the whole time, but I actually was crying like ninety eight percent of the time in real time. But um, but like seeing my having my niece there and my older brother and obviously which I expressed how much he means to me, and my sister in law was amazing. And then having this entire journey with Tatia, with this amazing woman, and then having it come to that moment where she's actually meeting my family and how she interacted with my family, and yeah, it was just a definitely the highlight of my experience there. Um and uh yeah, and just again sums up how amazing Tastie is and wonderful she is that she made it seem so natural. Uh And and like meeting my my silly family and with my niece and um and embracing her and then the low point of my time there, I think was definitely not not because of the act necessarily of like getting naked at the dodge ball date. Um, but it was more so, Okay, is this what this entire journey is going to be like for me? Just like doing these ridiculous things, embarrassing myself. So you know this the Bachelor, I can catch your eye and you know, so I got to do something drastic and and um, you know, really put myself out there, like play dodge ball naked, and like, this is going to be what my experience is. You know, you got to swing it if you want to win. So but yeah, like I said a million times, luckily Tatia came along, and yeah it was. It was some of the most amazing moments I've had in my entire life. So I'm very grateful for that. Oh well, Brendan, we are so happy to have you on. And I know we grilled you a little bit for a hot second, but it's good. Then not only we can have this conversation, but our listeners and the viewers of the show can hear it back and and better just like wrapped their heads around everything that went down and what they saw and get to know you a little bit more on on a deeper level, which is always nice. So thank you for joining us. Yeah, thanks for being here. Yeah you guys, you were you were, No, you're sweeting a little salty, salty. We brought it back. It was a full circle moment here, because I mean, did you know, I'm sure you're sweating all through that turtleneck right now? Yeah, no, no, it's it's it's um twenty degrees out so I'm still cold from my day on the roof, so I'm not sweating right now. Well, thank you though, for like being such a good sport about it. And you know, it was a tough episode, it really was. But hearing you explain things, you know, like I don't know, I'm one hundred percent sold, but I understand. I understand you a lot better, and I think so all our listeners. So thank you for that. Good Thank for having me. Oh Brendon, did he grow on you? He never was. I never was off him because Brendan was actually one of my favorites. I would say. I was just so disappointed and this is like big sister mode. I felt so bad for Tasia. Yeah, I just felt it was really selfish. She was branding with somebody. She was clearly into. Um, you don't see this when I'm on the episode, but she spoke to me about Brendon, so I knew that she was really taken aback by him leaving early in that way. Yeah, and you know how this is Becca like fantasy suite he could have just I get him. He didn't want to give her false hope in a fantasy suite, but if he had had a fantasy suite with her, she could have really taken away some of those doubts that he had because you just get that time to talk uninterrupted, just the two of you. Yeah, it's a missed opportunity for him. Yeah, and I you know, I don't want to live in like the what ifs, but I do wonder, like what if he were to have the first fantasy suite, or what if it wasn't the Neil Diamond dates. It's all these what ifs. But that's why I wanted to ask him, like when was that moment? And he did say it was after Hometown end, before that week, so I think it had been brewing. It just got to the point where he's like, I can't give more of myself if I know, I just truly can't get there in the end, which it sucks so much for the lead. Like I do feel firtastiou because I mean I didn't experience that the same way. But it still sucks when you have guys that are you know, have to remove themselves or something happens. It's just unfortunate because you really truly give you're all wanting this to work at the end. Yeah, but I am glad that we were able to hear his side, and it sounds like he is putting in the time and the work and the effort to really like figure out how to heal himself first before he can jump back into another relationship. And I props stay him for saying I wouldn't do Badge or Paradise isn't for him because he knows at the end of the day, like what it's going to be, and so I think it takes still a big man and a big person to say, you know what, that's not going to be for me. Yeah. Yeah, he's a sweet guy, very likable. I just he still needs, like he said, admittingly needs to work on some things to get himself right to be in a place to accept what happens at the end of the show, and I just wish he would have figured that out before tatious emotions were involved. But you know, it's not like he's the only great guy there, because hey, she still has some other great men there. And you guys, I can't believe it, but we only have one episode left. I mean, like, I can't believe it, but I can't believe because I feel like the season has been really long and like you've really been dragged out. But now that we're here, I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe we're here. And you guys, you have to make sure that you tune in to The Bachelorette tonight. Tonight. We had such a cliffhanger last night, so tonight we finally see how this journey ends. So make sure we check back into the podcast tomorrow to see we we'll be speaking to yes And also please make sure to keep up with us on social because you know where to find us. You can comment, like DM whatever you need to do. On Instagram we are at Bachelor Happy Hour, and then on Facebook and Twitter it's Batch happy Hour. So we love to hear what you guys have to say. Please let us know your thoughts, opinions, hopefully nice comments from here on out, and last, but not least, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast. 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