Fangirling with Remi Bader

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala. Hey, gorge it's La La Kent. Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala. I am so excited. I've been wanting you on the podcast for so long. I have Remy Bader Hello, Hello, Hello.

00:00:17
Speaker 2: We did this. We did this a long time ago, but it was we didn't meet. We didn't know.

00:00:22
Speaker 3: It was like, no, and have we met in person?

00:00:26
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:00:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was years ago, Babe.

00:00:29
Speaker 4: I'm wondering if we even did. You know when you like think you do, like when you think you have they met you in New York. I don't know. Now I'm like thinking maybe not, but I feel like I know you. I don't know, maybe we did.

00:00:39
Speaker 3: I feel like I know.

00:00:40
Speaker 2: I feel like I've known you for a long time.

00:00:41
Speaker 1: See, but that's what happens because we follow each other on social media and I feel like I know everything about your life. But I want to give you an epic intro. Okay, she is a content creator. She's a model, entrepreneur and advocate known for sparking a cultural shift towards greater inclusivity and fashion. You first rose to prominence with your viral like realistic halls. Yes, that's when I first was like, okay, I'm.

00:01:08
Speaker 3: Obsessed with this girl.

00:01:10
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:01:10
Speaker 3: How you would show like these itty bitty clothes and then you'd go to like H and.

00:01:15
Speaker 2: M yeah or Zara.

00:01:17
Speaker 4: I would try on the clothes that didn't fit me and kind of call out in a humorous way that the brands are not inclusive, which ended up working in my favor because then I.

00:01:27
Speaker 2: Started working with the brands to make them more inclusive, which I never thought would happen.

00:01:32
Speaker 3: It's so amazing.

00:01:33
Speaker 1: But also there were looks that you would put on, and I feel like you would also inspire all different body types, like this could work for you, right.

00:01:43
Speaker 4: It wasn't all bad, Like I would show the bad and the good, but I just felt like everyone was always only showing the good, and I'm like, there's clearly things that don't fit us a lot of the time.

00:01:52
Speaker 2: Why is no one putting that online? I do feel like at.

00:01:55
Speaker 4: That time, I was kind of the person who brought that, I guess onto TikTok because I didn't do I really didn't follow influencers or like much YouTube in Instagram ever, and then TikTok came to be and then I just that's where I started doing it, where it kind of like blew up very quickly. So you started on TikTok on TikTok during COVID, and.

00:02:14
Speaker 3: Did you do you have a YouTube channel?

00:02:16
Speaker 2: I don't. I do, and I moved it.

00:02:19
Speaker 4: I mean, like I do real so I do TikTok Instagram and I'm now like Snapchat, which I started more recently. I always said I wanted to start a YouTube, and like, I just feel like I'm almost like too late to the game. I mean, you're never too late, but like I don't know, I get what you mean. I asked a few YouTube friends of mine that are like, it's kind of like, I don't think you ever missed the market. A lot of people are like, oh, should I start on TikTok now, Like, I don't know, it's too late.

00:02:43
Speaker 2: It's oversaturated, but you never know.

00:02:45
Speaker 3: Do you think that it's too late.

00:02:47
Speaker 2: I don't think it's too late.

00:02:48
Speaker 4: I just think it's an oversaturated space and you really need to do something that no one's doing, which is hard to do.

00:02:53
Speaker 2: Like I feel like when I started, it was.

00:02:55
Speaker 4: So many Like I like, there just wasn't as many people, and I start it even what I thought was late because I didn't go on TikTok or have a TikTok like when everyone was like dancing on TikTok and home at in twenty twenty.

00:03:07
Speaker 2: It was more towards the end.

00:03:11
Speaker 4: I think it was like October twenty twenty, but it really blew up January twenty twenty one, so it like was not in the beginning of COVID or anything.

00:03:17
Speaker 3: How many followers do you have on TikTok.

00:03:20
Speaker 2: TikTok I have like.

00:03:21
Speaker 4: Two point two million, and then Instagram I have like eight hundred something thousand, So like I started a year later because people were like afraid and still are for to do reels, you know, because like Instagram's was always like perfection photos. But yeah, I definitely grew from reels. It's interesting that I didn't grow. I don't think you like grow from having a TikTok, like maybe a little bit, but it's very different followings. Like a lot of people on TikTok are anti Instagram and literally will not go over there and seeing the other way around.

00:03:53
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm newer to TikTok yeah, and the things that I post, I just post my kids basically because I and but also when I post. If I were to post the bitch video of ocean on Instagram, I think I'd be mom shamed, whereas TikTok wait.

00:04:10
Speaker 4: You didn't post it at all, and there you have to because I have one. We should test it out to see because screw people, whatever they say. But you have to post that as a real It's the best video on the Internet.

00:04:22
Speaker 3: It's really good and I was sitting on it for so long. You guys, Oh my god, No.

00:04:26
Speaker 4: It's it's just the every like it's just so you can't make that up, like the way she did that. It's just the funniest thing ever.

00:04:35
Speaker 3: And the chances of Mom walking in while you're dropping the bitch.

00:04:38
Speaker 2: Way, yeah, like that's just crazy, not.

00:04:40
Speaker 3: Cool, funny.

00:04:41
Speaker 1: You are also a mental health advocate using your platform to share your experiences.

00:04:46
Speaker 4: And then you founded fangirl, Yes, which I have one for you. Shut up, I have one for you. I brought it.

00:04:53
Speaker 3: Wait, okay, so fangirl, you guys.

00:04:55
Speaker 1: It is a clip on fan and ring lights you can have like this Ultimate Beyonce the.

00:05:00
Speaker 4: New Brown one that just came out. Wait, it's the packaging is so cheap, thank you. So so it's a fit. It's a I started because I'm just like the sweatiest girl ever. And I was going to all of these red carpets and these events, and I was like so embarrassed how much I was sweating.

00:05:15
Speaker 2: And I was like, whatever, I'm just going to bring a fan. I don't care.

00:05:18
Speaker 4: But I just started kept promoting like these random fans that I would take around, and I'm like, why am I not making my own I kind of thought it would be a joke, but my followers were excited about it. And then now this was the first summer that I really was selling.

00:05:31
Speaker 2: It, and I sold like ten thousand.

00:05:33
Speaker 3: It's so jillious idea.

00:05:35
Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna, you know, do some more with it.

00:05:38
Speaker 1: These belong in like Target, Yeah, like I well anywhere, No, Yeah, I think that's that would be the goal.

00:05:45
Speaker 4: Like now that I have like sales to prove, like I want to get it into bigger places.

00:05:49
Speaker 2: Right now, you could get it on Amazon and.

00:05:51
Speaker 3: Revolve Amaze, Oh you can get it on Revolve.

00:05:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, Revolve. It is just I think one that's just like exclusive to Revolve.

00:05:58
Speaker 4: And then I like dropped different colors for on Amazon, and then this summer I did like a few that were just in the Hamptons, like at Surflage and stuff. So like it's like a fun thing turning into a business. How old are you, I'm thirty.

00:06:13
Speaker 1: I'm so impressed with what you've done by the age of thirty.

00:06:16
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.

00:06:18
Speaker 3: And you've been through a lot, like obviously on the.

00:06:21
Speaker 1: Business side of things, and you, you know, taking a chance doing something different on TikTok and watching your following grow branding and those opportunities get larger you doing this. You also have edited by Remy Yes, that's a collection a Sam's Club.

00:06:38
Speaker 2: A collection at Sam's Club.

00:06:39
Speaker 4: It now it's shifted over to edited by Hunter McGrady, so like I picked someone with them that would kind of take the next thing over. It goes up to a six X, which I feel like no one is doing anymore, not no one, but like barely a lot of places in the past year or two have dropped plus sizes.

00:06:58
Speaker 2: So this actually did with my father. Wow, he is.

00:07:02
Speaker 4: In the DNA industry. We want to do something for a long time. I think at the end of the day, I wouldn't. I think it's better, which I told I was open about that, Like, I don't think I would work with family again after that because I feel like it was affecting our relationship in not a good way and it was just better to end it there. So I did two drops with them. It did super well. But now Hunter's taking over, so it's edited by Hunter and then there'll be someone else to take the next one, so it's.

00:07:32
Speaker 2: Doing super well. It was on one hundred Sam's Clubs and now this year it went up to two hundred Sam's Clubs, So it's very unheard of these days to have any sort of plus sizes in store. Yeah, if anyone gets out online, and they're even dropping it online these days too, just because just because so many people in the past year or two lost weight, they're taking away plus sizes completely at all these places, which I don't think is fair.

00:07:57
Speaker 3: Do you think that people are dropping the weight since the g what is it called the GLGLP one.

00:08:03
Speaker 2: I think that's what.

00:08:06
Speaker 4: Kind of started it, But I don't really get how that then just turns into like, oh, this gives us a reason, like there's so many plusized people still out there so it's like, I still you know, my body has changed so much since I've fluctuated gained loss weight many times since I started in twenty twenty online, But no matter what, from before I was online to now, I still have the same I still feel very passionate that everyone should be able to get the same clothes no matter what size they are, and that's not going to change.

00:08:35
Speaker 1: So it's very hard because you are now making a living off of people watching you and they want to know what you like, what you're going through. They're now invested in you as a person. It's kind of not kind of it has gone well beyond you just trying on clothing, yeah and calling out brands. Yeah, you went through a massive breakup, right, which.

00:09:02
Speaker 4: I always remember you reaching out and you were wait, was it the breakup or.

00:09:08
Speaker 3: The I reached out to you about Maybe it was.

00:09:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, we spoke, we were sending voice notes to each other, But no, I always appreciated that, Yes, my breakup was like very public because I showed that person in my life publicly, even though they weren't like in the public eye. So everyone wants an you know, that is like fels like they're owdin answer which I understand to a point of that, but then that led to obviously I opened up about losing weight and having a surgery, and then that too, a lot of people felt entitled to knowing every detail about that, which I think just from getting so much hate when I got a lot bigger, and people just seeing how horrible the internet could be, like the disgusting things people would say about my weight. I just decided that I wanted to start keeping a lot of my health journey to myself after that, because I was like, this isn't fair. You guys, don't I'm not giving this to you anymore.

00:10:08
Speaker 1: Right, It's too sacred for me to give to you, And they don't. You have to go to bed with yourself at night. And I think when you start seeing the same thing over and over again, we start to believe what people say about us, and before you know it, you look in the mirror and you're like, who am I? What do I believe in? What do I want out of life? Because you start buying into this fiction that the audience knows you better than you know.

00:10:31
Speaker 2: Your hundred percent.

00:10:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you got a lot of heat when you would gain weight, but you got.

00:10:37
Speaker 3: A lot of heat as well. I lost it when you lost it.

00:10:40
Speaker 4: Because I think that was the first time, well I think that's what people thought it was the first time that I wasn't sharing things, But it was really a ye over a year of me not sharing personal things and not sharing things.

00:10:50
Speaker 2: About my health.

00:10:52
Speaker 4: But I do think I have such a close relationship with a lot of my followers in a way that I like answer them respond all the time. I do give a or always did give personal details about my life, so they felt I owed every moment and thought about that health decision I made where I needed to for my mental health keep a lot of that to myself.

00:11:23
Speaker 1: Do you feel comfortable sharing when the moment was where you said I'm going to have surgery?

00:11:27
Speaker 2: Yes, that was when.

00:11:30
Speaker 4: That was when I was getting all that really bad haye and made a video crying online that I can't do this anymore in terms of sharing my health journey.

00:11:38
Speaker 2: I'm not giving this to you guys anymore.

00:11:40
Speaker 4: And I would say it was like around that the next few days where I was like if I had no follower, if followers didn't exist, if my family didn't exist, in anyone in my life that had an opinion on my way.

00:11:51
Speaker 2: What would I do? And that's kind of when I made that decision, like by myself.

00:11:55
Speaker 3: And was your family receptive to it?

00:11:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, I kept them a little separate to that.

00:12:00
Speaker 4: To it, I was like, I'm doing this and I don't really want to hear your opinion because I had a lot of like issues with weight with my parents growing up, like them telling me to lose weight all the time. So I was like, this isn't a part of I don't want you a part of the decision. I'm just letting you know I'm doing this, okay, but I didn't want I was with my boyfriend at the time and like I just at the.

00:12:20
Speaker 3: Time you made the decision, yes.

00:12:22
Speaker 4: Who also had a lot to say about my weight at the time. So I just was like, I don't want anyone's opinion here, like this is for me, no one else.

00:12:30
Speaker 3: Was he against it?

00:12:33
Speaker 4: No, he was like he was like do what He was very much like he was supportive during that time of like do what makes you happy, But everyone close to me in my life was very much like pushing me to lose weight. Okay, but I think for the wrong reasons, Like I think I had like at the end of the day, I did what I did for my health and for me, Like I was just like really didn't want anyone else's opinions in the way. Actually at that time, now that I think of it, too, he didn't say anything about my weight till after I made the surgery decision. He was very like supportive, just without saying anything, like very quiet. Okay, so it wasn't until later on, but like I've always and my sister also like never said anything.

00:13:20
Speaker 2: But like I just knew people were more. I knew that people.

00:13:24
Speaker 4: Were like concerned, but I felt like the concern from followers was more of like a hate being mean concerned, You're just getting bigger. We're like my family friends, like people in my life closer, like knew I.

00:13:35
Speaker 2: Was having actual health issues. Right.

00:13:38
Speaker 4: I want to make a point that this was like a personal decision for my health. But like I will never change my mindset, like I said on advocating for size inclusivity. But again, I kind of always thought body positivity was a little bit toxic in a way of always saying you need to love your body twenty four to seven. I never believed that I never spoke about that or anything.

00:13:58
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's very unreal too, because no matter what you look like, what size you happen to be at at that point in time, you know, you're always your worst critic and you're always going to have something that you wish you could fix or change. Lose weight in some places, gain weight in others. And I understand where you're coming from where that's not not a label that you put on yourself. But society makes it very difficult to just be. They want to put you in a box, they want to know what to do with you. Everyone belongs in a box. I remember season six of vander Pump Rules. You know, I was very much like I preferred women. I had been through a lot, and everyone was like, oh, she's like a newfound feminist and she's she's a girl's girl, and I'm like, I don't want these labels. This puts a target on my back because any move that I made beyond what you have labeled me, you're gonna try to hit that target.

00:14:54
Speaker 3: And I just don't want it.

00:14:55
Speaker 4: Don't even have a choice, Like you literally don't have a choice, Like what if what for you change just because you've been doing this for a while, Like when you were on TV, Like what changed from that that people labeled you a few years later?

00:15:06
Speaker 2: Because I feel like you people can.

00:15:10
Speaker 3: You can get. People don't want you to evolve.

00:15:12
Speaker 1: People want you to stay the same person that you've always been. And if years down the line, you do something that doesn't add up to what you did a few years back, you're a hypocrite. I reserve the right to evolve. I reserve the right to make myself.

00:15:26
Speaker 2: Change and grow. How old were you when you started on vander Pump.

00:15:29
Speaker 1: I think the first season aired when I was twenty five, so I think I was twenty.

00:15:32
Speaker 2: Four ten Are you open about your age now?

00:15:35
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm thirty five now, So like, imagine you didn't change in ten years, Like that would be insane, It would be insane, And like, I think that yet to the core, I'm the same person. But if I started at twenty five and now I'm thirty, it would be really sad if I didn't change and.

00:15:51
Speaker 2: Grow in ways.

00:15:52
Speaker 4: And it's very interesting that people online, when you're you're online, you like no longer are a person to people, You're like the character or something, and it's like you changed becomes this insult and it's like wait, I should change.

00:16:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so should you.

00:16:08
Speaker 1: You should also be changing the people who are commenting who have the luxury of sitting behind a keyboard with you know, two hundred followers that are just their close friends and family. Right, So you are in a very delicate situation when you decide to open up for people to relate to you, because then the floodgates are open for people who relate to you and also want to bring you down to the pits of hell.

00:16:33
Speaker 4: Right.

00:16:34
Speaker 1: I want to know in all of this and your your health journey and this guy that you were with that.

00:16:41
Speaker 3: You pretty much you know, you were living together.

00:16:45
Speaker 2: He basically like lived at my apartment.

00:16:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, you guys had a lot of videos together. Would you say that he was like one of your great loves that just didn't work out?

00:16:54
Speaker 2: That was my only boyfriend I've ever had.

00:16:56
Speaker 3: Okay, so you go through these.

00:16:57
Speaker 4: Two monumental things only human I've ever like loved, So like that's all I have to like compare to or anything. Yeah, And that was at the same time that breakup was during this whole post, the surgery got like I got very sick for like I would say, like two months, like I couldn't eat, couldn't drink.

00:17:16
Speaker 2: I kind of I was.

00:17:18
Speaker 4: In a lot of regret from the surgery, like I didn't know how it was going to be. And that's also why I didn't open up about it. I was like, I don't know if I just made a huge mistake. So I got in a you know, a big depression that was all the same time.

00:17:28
Speaker 2: As the breakup.

00:17:29
Speaker 4: Like the breakup was like basically during all of this happening, so like it was, Yeah, definitely a very interesting time where like I was trying, I was like, do I open up about some things not others?

00:17:41
Speaker 2: It was very confused, a confusing time for me.

00:17:56
Speaker 1: Did these two things happening at once make you someone who goes, I know exactly what I want and don't want here the red flags, here the green flags. Do you feel like you're more focused on what you want in life?

00:18:11
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:18:11
Speaker 4: More focused because I had nothing to compare to, and I definitely let a lot of things like slide or thinking back to the beginning, like was just letting maybe if that has started now with someone else, I'd be like, no, you know really so like I just yes the answers, but I don't know exactly what I want.

00:18:31
Speaker 2: I can't picture that person.

00:18:33
Speaker 4: I don't know what I want definitely, Like in terms of everyone always sets me, especially lately because I talk about my dating more openly or like just meeting people, and everyone's like, what's your type?

00:18:42
Speaker 2: What's your type?

00:18:42
Speaker 4: Like I literally don't have a type in terms of like physical or anything. Like I love funny people and someone that gets my humor and is funny, but like, and there are obviously other things in terms of like being super motivated. I do think I want someone that's not in my career path, like some something different and very passionate.

00:19:05
Speaker 3: About their own thing.

00:19:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have so many different career paths though, Like you're you're a content creator, but you're also like a creator.

00:19:13
Speaker 4: I don't think I want someone that's a content creator putting themselves online. But okay, but I can't. I'm not anti Like I'm not anti anything. Like again, that was my only experience. So I have like written down in my phone things of like red flags now to look out for, but also like things I would want in someone, but I still don't know, Like I have no idea who that person is.

00:19:33
Speaker 2: Or what they're going to bring to me or what they're going to do for a living. So I just don't know. I also am not like I would say that.

00:19:38
Speaker 4: My followers probably think I'm like actively looking because I talk about it so much, But I'm not looking for a boyfriend at the moment.

00:19:46
Speaker 2: I'm dating so that I can experience. I've never dated.

00:19:50
Speaker 4: I probably got on five dates in my life, not like with dates like dates with people, because like obviously me and my boyfriend would go on dates, but like never like I didn't go on a date for two and a half years when date with him he became my boyfriend. Wow, I never dated, So like I'm just more like, Okay, I'm thirty.

00:20:06
Speaker 2: I mean, no rush. My mom had me at thirty nine.

00:20:08
Speaker 4: Both my parents had My dad had two marriages before my mom had one. Then they are not pushing me in any way where I feel like a lot of my friends that are single right now like their parents are pushing them to be My parents are like, have fun, and I just want a date to experience and learn what I want and don't want.

00:20:25
Speaker 3: I think that's the only way to do it.

00:20:26
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think a lot of other people are like I mean a lot of my really close friends that are single right now are like literally going in six states a week being like I need to find this person now, like.

00:20:36
Speaker 3: A they on the apps? Yeah, how do you meet people?

00:20:39
Speaker 4: I'm on the apps. I'm on like Bumble and Hinge. Raya has not let me on ever, like they just won't no clue.

00:20:47
Speaker 1: I've heard Raya is only like there's little actual meetups. You just like develop a pen pal sort of relationship. So I don't know that you're wouldn't know.

00:20:56
Speaker 3: Wouldn't but.

00:20:58
Speaker 4: I yeah, like sometime, and I don't want a freaking pen pal, like I feel like that always ends up happening. When I'm like talking to people, I'm like, no, no, no, I don't like talking to someone I don't know, Like that's why this summer, like when I was out, that was my first time even practicing, like meeting someone at a bar and going up to them, which I did a good job at.

00:21:15
Speaker 2: But I was like.

00:21:16
Speaker 4: Out and drinking and partying like I was out the other day and I was like sober and which I could talk to anyone sober, like I've never an issue, But it was very shocking to me in terms of dating and like men, I was like, I made my friend do it.

00:21:29
Speaker 2: Like for me, I was like, I can't. I'm like, who am I?

00:21:31
Speaker 4: Like, I'm literally very outgoing, can talk to a wall, and I'm like in terms of guys, I like didn't know how to. So that's my next step is like, how do I go up to and flirt with men without alcohol? Because that's not ever what I needed in my life in terms of being social and I don't need that now. But I just thought that was interesting. I'm like, oh my god, I'm like a nervous flirter. I think that's totally normal.

00:21:54
Speaker 1: You know, I had never been single sober, and now obviously that's what I am. And it is you start having an out of body experience where you're like watching yourself make this move to talk to this guy and the like, I literally had had sex for the first time sober. This was like a couple of years ago, and it was fucking awesome. Have you had sober sex before?

00:22:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great.

00:22:20
Speaker 3: Are you open to like one night stance? I never had one before?

00:22:27
Speaker 4: Yes, Like, and like this was a more recent thing because I again like I but like and I shouldn't feel this way, but like now I feel like it mean, I like, I don't care what people say, Like women like when you have sex with someone, don't you like release a hormone that makes you look attached to that person?

00:22:45
Speaker 1: It's I think that that's just yeah, most women. I think any woman that goes like no, I don't get attached.

00:22:50
Speaker 3: I could fuck it. However, like I rather.

00:22:52
Speaker 4: Still talk to that person. I don't need to date them. But it's funny because I said so many times to my followers, even like a few months ago, I'm just like, why can't I just hook up with I'm gonna have it be casual, and they're like that never ends.

00:23:01
Speaker 2: Well I'm like no, no.

00:23:02
Speaker 4: And then I had like a three month situationship where like I really liked the guy, thought it was going as we're go, and it ended really badly, and I was like, oh, I like need to I need to somewhat have like a connection to this person or even just like keep talking or be friends. So like when someone just goes m I A, I'm like so offended, right like that.

00:23:20
Speaker 3: If it wants I understand, Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be.

00:23:23
Speaker 2: So I'm like, maybe that's not for me, Okay, that's.

00:23:25
Speaker 3: Fine, but I'm ready. You're you're learning. Do you think men get nervous.

00:23:30
Speaker 1: That like if they date you it could end up being content on?

00:23:36
Speaker 2: No, this isn't new. This is a new thing for me.

00:23:39
Speaker 4: I've been making videos being like this loser did this the other day and like whatever, I actually I got scared when I'm not scared. But I finally blocked the situationship God, because every time we've had an encounter, I'm like, I.

00:23:52
Speaker 3: Want to talk about it.

00:23:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, like now I I freaking keep saying like if I see him, like I know, like I think at this point we're just not gonna like look at each other because it's all content now.

00:24:01
Speaker 2: But I never say someone's name.

00:24:03
Speaker 4: I would never say them people they dropped the nay drop the name every time they know where there are. Because one guy that I was like kind of hooking up with and kind of had this not this guy, but like how to talk about that? He was like whatever happened? He's like, I was really bitter you made that video about me? And I'm like, no one knows who you are, and he's like, but I knew it was about me. I'm like, you ghosted me. And he's like, I think you're really cool.

00:24:23
Speaker 2: Good and he was like, let's hang out again.

00:24:26
Speaker 4: I'm like sure, because honestly, for me, I'm like I need sometimes someone that I want to hook up with, just if I'm like horny or something like why can't I But I just want to have like some sort of like friendship or.

00:24:36
Speaker 1: Like not that they're gonna go on my ag Do you want them like on the roster until you're over it?

00:24:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, or else it's like rude.

00:24:43
Speaker 4: But but going back to your question, I have been nervous being like, if these guys see these videos, it's.

00:24:53
Speaker 2: So gonna push away people.

00:24:55
Speaker 4: But then some of my friends are like, no, it'll just make them treat you right, and I'm like, no, it seems a.

00:24:58
Speaker 2: Little scary, even though I I'm not saying their name.

00:25:01
Speaker 4: No, I'm unsure how much I want to keep going with it, Like I don't know.

00:25:06
Speaker 1: I think you keep doing Whoever is going to be signing your checks is what you fucking do.

00:25:11
Speaker 3: Like you are a content creator.

00:25:13
Speaker 1: Whoever comes into your life should be the person that's like, whatever you need to do, Okay, But you know.

00:25:18
Speaker 4: What I just realized that I did yesterday or like this week is like some guys that are in my dms, which there aren't many, but like guys that I'm like maybe it's newer or like just flirting with Yah, I block them from my stories and that's showing that, like what I love that, No, but it's showing that I'm like nervous for them to see their real me. So that's not like a great thing, you know, but I'm posting about so many I feel like if you don't know me first in person, you're just getting this like like rogue version of me and they're gonna be like what, Like I'm I just don't know, So like that's the thing that I'm like. And then I said it to one friend the other day and they're like, but then they're not then you're hiding you, And I'm like, I nobody think it's a lot to just like if you follow me and just like see everything I post on my stories, you might be a little scared.

00:26:03
Speaker 3: Oh okay, can I tell you. I feel that I love that you do that.

00:26:07
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, anyone who I'm gonna be talking to you need to know get on my socials. See how I interact in a bunch of different situations, whether I'm saying, like tune into my Amazon Live or like a new episode of untraditionally La La being a mom, or like maybe doing a slutty thirst trap. You gotta see me in all my elements because if you come into my world, this is what you get.

00:26:31
Speaker 2: True.

00:26:32
Speaker 1: And if I if you come into my world based off of what I want you to see and only what I want you to see, then I get attached. And when you see other things you may not like and you abort mission, big fucking waste of time.

00:26:43
Speaker 2: Right, No, for sure. And for my saying that when I was with my ex two like, I was very I never changed my content, Like I remember one time he said like that I was like showing too much skin in a photo. I said, okay, well then you can go.

00:26:57
Speaker 4: I was like, I've I was like, or was it one of my fond any videos where like I'm changing in my halls and stuff, And I'm like, I'm never changing that, just so you know, FYI like this will always be how it started. Because if I'm not planning on changing my content for someone, which I would never do. If a man told me what to post or not post, it'd be like you're done, so I.

00:27:15
Speaker 2: Probably should unblock them from my stories. Yeah, but like what if they're just flirting.

00:27:20
Speaker 4: Situations like like I want them to I don't know.

00:27:24
Speaker 1: I don't know either. You're asking someone who's like chronically safe. I don't like the word date because it gives it potential for it to go somewhere. So I right now just fuck.

00:27:37
Speaker 2: Oh you're you're just okay? Same.

00:27:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, I don't need you, I don't want anything from you. I, for the first time in my life, feels so peaceful, and I would like to enjoy this moment in my life because I deserve that. It's been like years of just chaos, right and fighting tooth and nail to like get some oxygen, and now I have it, And I'm like, why would I ruin that?

00:28:02
Speaker 4: Are people just like you're not on the apps or not on the app or it sliding into people's I.

00:28:08
Speaker 3: Am always the aggressor.

00:28:09
Speaker 1: I always It's very rare that I'll give out my number because I like to take the numbers, sit on it, and then if I feel like reaching out, great. I don't want to be the person that goests even though that that that has happened before.

00:28:20
Speaker 2: Oh I give my number out like candy, So that part's not like me.

00:28:23
Speaker 3: Great, but you have to find your groove.

00:28:25
Speaker 2: Bring me to stop doing that, like it could be anyone on that, like.

00:28:28
Speaker 1: You know, like you're gonna get to the point where you have to change your phone number.

00:28:32
Speaker 4: I had reason My sister yells at me everage amount just stop stop because I'm literally like a girl will be like I love you whatever. I'm like, text me tomorrow. And then I'm like what am I doing? Like, oh, I have to stop, but you have to.

00:28:44
Speaker 2: I know it's bad.

00:28:45
Speaker 1: No, And you know, it's a fine line for me with bringing dudes around, because there's the people who are like overly eager to be on television.

00:28:55
Speaker 2: It's real. Is it not really hard to not know people's intentions? Yes, yes it is.

00:28:59
Speaker 1: But and there are the people that are like I don't want to be talking about to do.

00:29:02
Speaker 3: With that all, And I'm like, well, there's the guy.

00:29:07
Speaker 4: That is exactly what I want, And I'm like, there's I have yet to find that. Like that guy had a situationship was like, do not put me anywhere. That's why I started making the videos to piss him off more after, because I know there's nothing that makes him more mad. But like then, my ex, I think wanted it a little too much. And now now I'm like very cautious about that.

00:29:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've learned a lot, and I mean you're only thirty, Like you're still it's gonna be a process because you're only going to.

00:29:38
Speaker 3: Get higher and higher to the sky.

00:29:40
Speaker 1: Right So right now, I think, and this is just my opinion, you stay true to like getting yourself where you want to be physically, emotionally, spiritually wherever, and also business wise so that the guy that comes in, you know, you'll attract someone who needs nothing from you, you don't need anything from him, and you guys just add to each other's one hundred percent.

00:30:03
Speaker 4: And I think that's what my mom always says. Who's a huge fan of you. She's always like, we were watching Like Love Is Blond the other day and she's like, oh, I can't when they keep saying my person. If you ever come home and say my person, I'm kicking you out.

00:30:17
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is with you?

00:30:18
Speaker 4: Like with the and she goes any soul me to hate that too, And I was like, why are you so like anti that? And she was just like I've always like from her too. It's always been like someone to add to not be like your other half. For me, those words, it's more other half, I'm like, and everyone's like, I love my other half. I never I'm not looking for another half, like you need to be whole. And then I think I totally agree. Someone that adds to my life. That's great in a good way and a positive exactly.

00:30:44
Speaker 1: No, I'm so happy for you, and I know that that comment section can be brutal.

00:30:50
Speaker 3: My heart was like breaking for you.

00:30:52
Speaker 4: You want to feel brutal, but brute definitely have a little bit of thicker skin.

00:30:57
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you got thicker skin through it all?

00:30:59
Speaker 4: I think I one hundred percent do. But I've like I have my days in my weeks. I think it's when I'm hormonal. I have no idea, but like all last week I was like in my fields and then like you know, like there's certain days where like you focus on those negative comments where like I don't know, I woke up yesterday and I didn't give a shit about anything, and I'm like, yeah, it's very I mean, I think that's just a part of being in this world.

00:31:21
Speaker 2: It's just like confusing.

00:31:22
Speaker 4: So, yes, I thought I'd gained thicker skin, and then recently I think I've just kind of what you said, like, I do need to figure out my brand and who I am and where I what I'm doing right now because of what the box people put me in. Now, I'm like, where am I? What am I doing? Like I love putting out content and I talk about kind of everything, but I think it's almost hard me not being put into this box for ones that I'm like.

00:31:44
Speaker 2: What am I or what am I?

00:31:46
Speaker 1: Like?

00:31:46
Speaker 3: Hold on, I'm more comfortable in a box.

00:31:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, did I like the box? Like I don't know, but I'm just I'm figuring it all.

00:31:52
Speaker 3: You got comfortable people.

00:31:54
Speaker 1: Sometimes you could be in the most unhappy place of your life. But if you're comfortable there because it's your every day, the moment that you get.

00:32:01
Speaker 3: Out of it, you start to flounder a bit.

00:32:03
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I was comfortable for so long, like didn't focus on my health, my mental health like nothing. But I was just like staying in this place because I was like, oh, my career is skyrocketing, So like I'm just going to be here. But now that I'm like, I am happier, Like when I think about like mentally, I'm overall happier in the past year just for so many reasons and work I've done on myself and physically not in pain like I was in pain with my back and my knees for so long.

00:32:30
Speaker 2: So like I'm happier.

00:32:31
Speaker 4: But I think now it's like, Okay, I'm out of that box that people were putting me in terms of like connecting.

00:32:36
Speaker 2: My weight to who I am that right.

00:32:40
Speaker 4: It almost started happening to me, Like I almost started thinking that way too, And now I'm like.

00:32:44
Speaker 2: Okay, who am I? Without that piece?

00:32:47
Speaker 3: You felt like it was your identity.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: I feel like people were making it my identity, but I think that started to become it.

00:32:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So where can people find you so that you can like share your journey and share all of your amazing because you're also one of the fun as people that I've ever met in my life.

00:33:02
Speaker 3: And where can they buy your goods? Tell me everything?

00:33:04
Speaker 4: It's just at remy Bader on TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and then you could buy fangirl.

00:33:13
Speaker 2: Which also clips on your phone.

00:33:15
Speaker 4: Or laptop or anything you've use in like a zoom, meaning you could use it on your phone when you're out. Anyways, Fangirl by Remy you can get that on Amazon and on Revolve as of now and TBD because you'll be able to see it more somewhere many other places in the future.

00:33:30
Speaker 3: No, I can't wait. I'm so into this.

00:33:32
Speaker 1: I'm literally I can't wait to clip my extensions in and like have a Beyonce fans.

00:33:36
Speaker 4: Light is so you could do the fan the light at the same time. But like I didn't do for the light, but I was like, what is something that's non existent? And people are like obviously when it's like darker outer, it's like the light is amazing.

00:33:47
Speaker 2: It makes you look like gorge.

00:33:48
Speaker 3: Oh I can't wait to look gorge.

00:33:50
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:33:50
Speaker 3: I needed it today.

00:33:52
Speaker 1: Noo Remmy, thank you so much for coming on my livecast. I love you. You're a fucking rock star. You look amazing.

00:33:59
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:33:59
Speaker 3: I hope you feel amazing.

00:34:01
Speaker 1: You guys, thank you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La. I'm gonna catch you on Monday for the bonus and again next week.

00:34:07
Speaker 3: Bye.