New Plant Discovered in West Texas, Neotropical Palms, & Panama Hats

<v Speaker 1>Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Crime Page
<v Speaker 1>about and He Doesn't podcast. It got chili as hell here.
<v Speaker 1>We got a cold front in the border lands of
<v Speaker 1>South Texas today, where the billboards for personal injury attorneys
<v Speaker 1>shine and the car dealerships are many, and nobody cares
<v Speaker 1>about the native living skin of the planet in this
<v Speaker 1>particular region. Actually a few people do, but not many.
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, it's got cold as shit here. So this
<v Speaker 1>mocking bird is really I don't know what he's doing,
<v Speaker 1>but he's always. It's always mocking birds and sparrows here.
<v Speaker 1>And once in a while we get a kissity in
<v Speaker 1>the in the in the yard here, in the dense thicket.
<v Speaker 1>But so I was out throwing blankets on stuff, I
<v Speaker 1>brought some stuff inside. This is why I try to
<v Speaker 1>grow just only natives, because I don't I don't like
<v Speaker 1>doing this, but I've had I've got stuff that people
<v Speaker 1>have given me, cool plants that people have given me,
<v Speaker 1>you know, subtropical or desert plants, whatever. It can grow
<v Speaker 1>a lot of stuff that's native. Only a one hundred
<v Speaker 1>or two hundred miles south in Mexico. Got a lot
<v Speaker 1>of rare cactie that will get tip damage. But you know,
<v Speaker 1>the more that the Arctic warms, the more unstable the
<v Speaker 1>jet stream becomes, and it starts wavering like a roller coaster.
<v Speaker 1>And so while it's warm up there, warmer than usual
<v Speaker 1>up here, it gets colder than usual down here. You know,
<v Speaker 1>they're at the trough of the wave. We're at the
<v Speaker 1>or we're at the trough of the wave. They're at
<v Speaker 1>the crest up there. You know. I remember like during
<v Speaker 1>the Texas freeze, it was like, uh, it was warmer
<v Speaker 1>in Alaska than in southern Arizona. This is like in
<v Speaker 1>twenty one when the get dreams all fucked up, you know,
<v Speaker 1>And that's where most of the warming is going to happen.
<v Speaker 1>He's in the Arctic. But you wouldn't know that if
<v Speaker 1>you look at a lot of elements of American popular culture,
<v Speaker 1>where climate denial is still so huge. It's amazing. It
<v Speaker 1>blows my mind that the oil companies have been so
<v Speaker 1>good at their PR. All it takes is PR. You
<v Speaker 1>just put money in the PR and the PR firms
<v Speaker 1>and they just start pumping it out there that you know,
<v Speaker 1>the soliet is wrong or there's money to be made
<v Speaker 1>off the green scam, the green the green news scam.
<v Speaker 1>So it's all part of the dystopic reality we're here
<v Speaker 1>living in the US. You know, people get dumber, the
<v Speaker 1>oligarchs get richer. People vote for you know, uh leaders
<v Speaker 1>and autocrats that are going to screw them in the end,
<v Speaker 1>that are going to fuck them over, like happened with
<v Speaker 1>the recent firing of thousands, tens of thousands of federal employees. Right,
<v Speaker 1>you vote for someone who's going to make America great again,
<v Speaker 1>and they lay off tens of thousands of federal play
<v Speaker 1>They laid off the fucking national people at the National
<v Speaker 1>Institutes of Health. They just because you know, the idea
<v Speaker 1>is cut you cut those jobs, and you could cut
<v Speaker 1>the funding. Right. This is the same thing that the
<v Speaker 1>railroad was doing with precision scheduled railroading before I left.
<v Speaker 1>You know, they stopped they When I first hired out,
<v Speaker 1>we had all these insane safety quote safety rules because
<v Speaker 1>they were worried about worried about they were they they
<v Speaker 1>wanted to get their injuries down because that would save
<v Speaker 1>them money. They were worried so anything that they we
<v Speaker 1>were getting instructions on how to walk and so this
<v Speaker 1>was some policy that all the class when railroads were
<v Speaker 1>doing like you know twenty ten, where they were just
<v Speaker 1>firing you for anything, if you if you know, for
<v Speaker 1>getting on and off moving equipment, for not walking right,
<v Speaker 1>for not looking both ways before you cross a yard track,
<v Speaker 1>like a track in the yard that hasn't been used.
<v Speaker 1>I mean, just stupid shit, insanely stupid shit. You know,
<v Speaker 1>some of it made sense at first, but then it
<v Speaker 1>got to the point where it was ridiculous, and the
<v Speaker 1>managers were testing you, and so they created this completely
<v Speaker 1>uh antagonistic relationship between management and employees. You know, you
<v Speaker 1>get some guy who worked at a fucking Applebee's two
<v Speaker 1>years prior or you know, but he had a business degree.
<v Speaker 1>He was like a managing an applebe's, excuse me, not
<v Speaker 1>a worker. He was managing an Applebee's or one of
<v Speaker 1>you know, these bleak elements of American consumer dystopia. He
<v Speaker 1>was managing an apple These are some shit. Now he's
<v Speaker 1>a manager. He applied for the position. The railroad's never
<v Speaker 1>hired from the ground up. They used to. They don't
<v Speaker 1>do that anymore because they realized those those managers they'd hire,
<v Speaker 1>if they did hire them, would have too much sympathy
<v Speaker 1>for the employees, and they wanted people that were really
<v Speaker 1>just robots, subordinate and had that all that business school,
<v Speaker 1>that entrepreneurial indoctrination and so anyway, so but the railroad
<v Speaker 1>was doing this. They were just started cutting jobs, like
<v Speaker 1>cutting jobs to the point that it didn't make sense.
<v Speaker 1>It's like, you, you know, you have to put money
<v Speaker 1>into your fucking infrastructure. You have to put money into
<v Speaker 1>making sure the locomotives run. You can't. I mean, there's
<v Speaker 1>just basic costs you have to do. You guys have
<v Speaker 1>gotten so fucking greedy and obsessed with pleasing shareholders, you're
<v Speaker 1>cutting everything. And so that's what the government's doing. This
<v Speaker 1>is like, this is the right wing American ethos. This
<v Speaker 1>is this. These are elements of the shit that started
<v Speaker 1>with Reagan. This the trickle down theories, the Reaganomics, the
<v Speaker 1>defund the libraries, defund the post office. Everything should be
<v Speaker 1>privatized because it's more efficient. And it's funny because it's
<v Speaker 1>all the shit that these these right wing, these shiny
<v Speaker 1>plastic shit eating grin right wing pundits say is gonna
<v Speaker 1>happen under socialism, but it's happening under capitalism. On steroids,
<v Speaker 1>This deranged deregulated form of capitalism on steroids, and it's
<v Speaker 1>so dystopic to me. It's starting to get fucking hilarious.
<v Speaker 1>In a really macabuay. You got to blend the terrible
<v Speaker 1>with with humor. All right. That might seem absurd to
<v Speaker 1>some of you, but you really do. I mean, just
<v Speaker 1>stop the pearl clutching and stop the oh my god,
<v Speaker 1>stop the outrage, and just just fucking realize this is
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's I don't make no mistake. I'm filled
<v Speaker 1>with hate and anger. I know a lot of people
<v Speaker 1>that got laid off, but this is just this is
<v Speaker 1>what they want, and they're gonna They're just gonna cause
<v Speaker 1>everything to collapse. I mean, they fund they fired people
<v Speaker 1>at the fucking Nuclear Agency and then they brought them back.
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's it's insane. I'm watching this shit and
<v Speaker 1>I'm watching these clowns. I just you know, and I
<v Speaker 1>know this too, because this is exactly what the railroad did.
<v Speaker 1>I mean, they were they were slowing things down so much,
<v Speaker 1>they were the trains got longer. They stopped putting as
<v Speaker 1>many engines on them, as many locomotives on them, you know,
<v Speaker 1>so they couldn't they they were going, the trains were
<v Speaker 1>going slower, shit would break down. It was just like
<v Speaker 1>this short term gain, long term loss mentality. It's that's
<v Speaker 1>just infused American uh business ideology, and it's these it's
<v Speaker 1>at the base of it all are these fucking you know,
<v Speaker 1>this is what's really frustrating, is at the base of
<v Speaker 1>it all are these obsolete primate hoarding impulses that disregard
<v Speaker 1>the collective and just focus on the self, just just
<v Speaker 1>on accumulation. It's a fucking mental ill. You know. I
<v Speaker 1>had hope with Luigi. We need some more of that.
<v Speaker 1>We need more, we need more of these fucking I mean,
<v Speaker 1>you know, just start just start laying them out. I
<v Speaker 1>don't know, it's the only thing that the left and
<v Speaker 1>right can agree on. But I'm sure with enough propaganda
<v Speaker 1>you could probably get the right to probably i mean,
<v Speaker 1>you know, vote for them again. Whatever it's but it's insane.
<v Speaker 1>I mean, this is a these federal firings, these federal
<v Speaker 1>employee firings going on in the United States right now.
<v Speaker 1>It's estimated they could eventually affect more than two hundred
<v Speaker 1>thousand people. Two hundred thousand people could lose their jobs,
<v Speaker 1>you know, and many of those people voted for this
<v Speaker 1>fucking orange dipshit in office, right, I mean, I fucking
<v Speaker 1>held my nose and voted for Kamala Whatever. I don't
<v Speaker 1>like I don't like her. But if I've got a
<v Speaker 1>choice between getting beaten with a club or getting stabbed
<v Speaker 1>nineteen times, I'm going to take the beating with the club.
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's kind of what it was. But really,
<v Speaker 1>I mean, after this experience, I don't think I'm ever
<v Speaker 1>going to vote again. I don't think. I just think
<v Speaker 1>I want to not live here anymore. At some point,
<v Speaker 1>there's a whole world out there that's not like the US,
<v Speaker 1>where people aren't getting fucked, where healthcare is affordable. You know,
<v Speaker 1>this is all. This is all the result of these
<v Speaker 1>ein randy and economic principles. This is again, this is
<v Speaker 1>just Reagan two point zero, the mass firings. I don't
<v Speaker 1>think any of the people that voted for this guy
<v Speaker 1>saw this coming. It's you know, but with enough pr
<v Speaker 1>you can convince anybody anything, and especially you know, the
<v Speaker 1>right has captured the working class because the left has
<v Speaker 1>just fumbled so bad in the last ten or fifteen years.
<v Speaker 1>The identity politics thing. It really didn't work. It was
<v Speaker 1>a real bad idea. You know, you let these college
<v Speaker 1>kids who've got no fucking, you know, experience with real
<v Speaker 1>life or with working, these social theorists, these humanities that
<v Speaker 1>you case, people with no fucking very little understanding of
<v Speaker 1>science too, very little schooling in natural sciences or in
<v Speaker 1>biology or natural selection evolution, an understanding of the real world,
<v Speaker 1>not this make believe human bullshit that we've created over
<v Speaker 1>the last few hundred to you know, a couple thousand
<v Speaker 1>years whatever. You let them take over and infuse the
<v Speaker 1>whole ideology with all the identity politics shit, how you
<v Speaker 1>want to be perceived, how you wanted the people to
<v Speaker 1>perceive you, all this it just becomes, you know, and
<v Speaker 1>then just the elitism and talking down to people and
<v Speaker 1>the fucking I mean, the cancel culture part was part
<v Speaker 1>of it. You know, you guys didn't want to listen
<v Speaker 1>to this, but I'm gonna make you anyway, we'll get
<v Speaker 1>it out of the way. Like the cancel culture started
<v Speaker 1>with attack and genuine monsters, and then it just went
<v Speaker 1>for everybody and that it was just people fighting against
<v Speaker 1>each other and just left this attacking each other. Oh
<v Speaker 1>it was amazing. Oh it was it was a comedy,
<v Speaker 1>you know, and even if it was some sort of
<v Speaker 1>you know, uh cia app if you if you want
<v Speaker 1>to go that conspiracy theorist or out of plenty of
<v Speaker 1>people took it up. Anyway. There were so many disaffected,
<v Speaker 1>you know, traumatized people that had shipped there that probably
<v Speaker 1>weren't seeking therapy for and they just that was what
<v Speaker 1>the left was, just perpetually online, the American left, perpetually online,
<v Speaker 1>talking shit, elitist, fucking mean uh, not not reaching out
<v Speaker 1>the people, not getting people the benefit of the doubt,
<v Speaker 1>not trying to convince people of a better way to
<v Speaker 1>be without shitting on them. And this is what the
<v Speaker 1>other one hundred percent helped this happen. They really did
<v Speaker 1>so uh anyway, but at least you got to, you know,
<v Speaker 1>perform online and uh play holier than now and morally
<v Speaker 1>talk down to people anyway. You don't need to agree
<v Speaker 1>with me, and I don't care. I'm just I got
<v Speaker 1>ten minutes to just puke this stuff out because it's
<v Speaker 1>it's bothered me and I'm gonna do it so you could,
<v Speaker 1>you know, just fast. But anyway, let's talk about O
<v Speaker 1>Vicula by Radiata, which is the new species of composite
<v Speaker 1>that was discovered not even a year ago by Deb
<v Speaker 1>Manley in Big Bend National Park. Deb I had hit
<v Speaker 1>her up before, a contact her before, because she documents
<v Speaker 1>all these cool plants. She's always hiking all over the park.
<v Speaker 1>She basically, I don't know. I forget she told me
<v Speaker 1>what she did. I forget what it was. But she's
<v Speaker 1>in the park all the time, just waltzing around, hiking around,
<v Speaker 1>and it seems like a really pleasant life. And she's
<v Speaker 1>always seen cool plants. And so she found this tiny
<v Speaker 1>little member of astracy, this tiny little composite. And you
<v Speaker 1>can actually look it up on I Naturalist, which I
<v Speaker 1>suggest you do. I think there's only three observations. What
<v Speaker 1>is it? Yeah, oh vicula by rate cat. It's amazing.
<v Speaker 1>That's sold on. Let me go to this what is
<v Speaker 1>it all? I got filters on here. That's what the
<v Speaker 1>problem is. I'm so fucking grateful for I'm naturalist. It
<v Speaker 1>is just it's such, it's so invaluable. I figured out
<v Speaker 1>this way to create plant lists and uh, you know,
<v Speaker 1>species lists to put him into like a spreadsheet. Download
<v Speaker 1>a CSV file using the filters tab on a n
<v Speaker 1>Ashris and put him into a spreadsheet and you know
<v Speaker 1>you can have family and genus and species and common
<v Speaker 1>name all that shit. Anyway, Yeah, three observations mine, Uh
<v Speaker 1>who is this? Debs? And then some other guy got
<v Speaker 1>a really nice photo up close macro photo of h
<v Speaker 1>who's this James Bailey silversea star song anyway? Uh yeah,
<v Speaker 1>so I think he's but deb found it. And then
<v Speaker 1>you know, this was on the newswire among all the
<v Speaker 1>plant nerds and botanists talking about it for a while,
<v Speaker 1>and so yeah, this guy went out and saw it,
<v Speaker 1>and uh and then uh I went out and saw it,
<v Speaker 1>and uh it's fucking wild that grows with Aerocarpus phizzerrats.
<v Speaker 1>It grows and these low these limestone kind of gentle,
<v Speaker 1>you know, undulating limestone hills, and uh, yeah, this is
<v Speaker 1>a great photo. This person got white little white corollas.
<v Speaker 1>But then the leg you the rays on these thing.
<v Speaker 1>These things have these like candy cane stripes on them,
<v Speaker 1>these red striations, and the whole thing is just covered
<v Speaker 1>in here. It's covered in wool, which is I mean,
<v Speaker 1>it's it's dense wool. You can barely see any green
<v Speaker 1>in there. It looks like a cotton swab. When I
<v Speaker 1>was out there, they were just finishing up. They were
<v Speaker 1>kind of dry already, and it looked like, uh, you know,
<v Speaker 1>I would have you could have. Initially, you could have
<v Speaker 1>been forgiven for thinking at first that what you were
<v Speaker 1>looking at was like, you know, someone's toilet papered. It
<v Speaker 1>got stuck on like a vicilia branch, and then the
<v Speaker 1>wind whipped it up and now you just had these
<v Speaker 1>little rolled up white cotton pieces of paper all over
<v Speaker 1>the ground. You could have been forgiven for thinking that,
<v Speaker 1>because that's what it looked like. But they were readily
<v Speaker 1>abundant in you know, standing two inches tall if that
<v Speaker 1>in the rocky talis there the rocky limestone talents. It
<v Speaker 1>grows in limestone. Obviously, it's Aerocarbus visserrais is out there,
<v Speaker 1>and plenty of those Innoceramus fossils that Texas bivalve, and
<v Speaker 1>this thing was it's just nuts that. Yeah. I think
<v Speaker 1>it's the first plant that's been discovered in a national
<v Speaker 1>park in fifty years. But still in twenty twenty four
<v Speaker 1>when this thing was discovered, I mean just that there's
<v Speaker 1>still new species. I mean, there's of course there's new
<v Speaker 1>species out there. There's a bunch Matt Berger's found like five.
<v Speaker 1>You know, my friend Julie has found like six, six
<v Speaker 1>or seven in California, So there's plenty of stuff out
<v Speaker 1>there still. But this thing was this thing was really special.
<v Speaker 1>This was exciting and just totally nuts. So Avicula bi
<v Speaker 1>radiata they wanted to call it Biligula anomala, but the synanthrologists,
<v Speaker 1>the people that study astracy, had an issue with it
<v Speaker 1>because legules. They're trying to they're trying to basically encourage
<v Speaker 1>people to use the word lgual to refer solely to
<v Speaker 1>sechorioid e, the chicory subfamily of Astracy, not use the
<v Speaker 1>word legules to refer to rays like the rays you
<v Speaker 1>would see on a sunflower or a daisy, et cetera.
<v Speaker 1>So because people usually just call those legules, that's what
<v Speaker 1>I would call them. But anyway, uh well, wow, yeah,
<v Speaker 1>the styles the pistolate flowers, because most of the most
<v Speaker 1>members of Astracy the ray floor, it's the floor. The
<v Speaker 1>flowers that are to the rays are just pistolate, and
<v Speaker 1>so this has very small you can see these little
<v Speaker 1>styles on there and then the pollen. The staminate flowers
<v Speaker 1>are in the center with you know, five white corolla lobes.
<v Speaker 1>But this thing is cool. I mean, it's a fucking
<v Speaker 1>wild thing, especially how harry and wooly is it came
<v Speaker 1>out closest to the genus silas strophe or cilostrophe, however
<v Speaker 1>you want to pronounce it, which is uh, I think
<v Speaker 1>you get what is cilostrophe? It's in the it's this
<v Speaker 1>is in the tetra Neurus clay. But cilostrophe. You get
<v Speaker 1>quite a few in Texas, and you get are there
<v Speaker 1>any in californ I think there's quite a few in
<v Speaker 1>California too. How many have I seen? Yeah, tagatina, naphelodes
<v Speaker 1>and coopry Where do I see coopry? Oh? That was
<v Speaker 1>in Baja. That was that was on the Viscano Peninsula. Cilostrophe, cooprice.
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, but there's there's quite a few of them there,
<v Speaker 1>and they're all wooly and when once you see Selah,
<v Speaker 1>you know you could see, okay, it's wooly as hell,
<v Speaker 1>but cilostrophe is normally you know, some of them can
<v Speaker 1>be eighteen inches tall. I think, is what is this
<v Speaker 1>a coop ryo? What do you want. I don't think so,
<v Speaker 1>I can't remember. But but either way, Oh and yeah,
<v Speaker 1>like I got a I got a nice photo of
<v Speaker 1>tagatina where it's the whole uh, the whole compound head
<v Speaker 1>flower head is wooly as ship. It looks like a precursor,
<v Speaker 1>like a precursor step to two. What was that tagatina
<v Speaker 1>to this thing towards to a viculous so you could
<v Speaker 1>see how they kind of diverged, how they diverged from
<v Speaker 1>a common ancestor. But yeah, man, it's a it's really exciting,
<v Speaker 1>really exciting news. New species of composite discovered in a
<v Speaker 1>in a national park. Let me see, yeah, Isaac Isaac
<v Speaker 1>Mark wrote the uh, where the fuck did this? Think on?
<v Speaker 1>I just lost the hold on. Let me find this
<v Speaker 1>there we go, okay, Oh, Vicula by radiata, a new
<v Speaker 1>genus of composity from Big Ben National Park in Transpicos, Texas.
<v Speaker 1>Deb Manly, Isaac Lichtor Mark, kiglie Peraltar, Tuo Castro Castro,
<v Speaker 1>Kelsey Wogan, my friend Kelsey, Carolyn Whiting, and A. Michael Powell,
<v Speaker 1>the Wizard of the Seuel ross Er Barium, one of
<v Speaker 1>the best baria in Texas. So but yeah, came out,
<v Speaker 1>came out close to silostrophe, and I wonder what the
<v Speaker 1>extent of this thing is too, Like, where else does
<v Speaker 1>it occur? Because the known population, I think there's only
<v Speaker 1>one uh this one population, maybe too, but it's got
<v Speaker 1>to be in other places as well. I mean, there's
<v Speaker 1>some really remote areas of Big Bend, and part of
<v Speaker 1>the reason they're remote, it's because they're just if you
<v Speaker 1>don't go there in the right time of year, they're
<v Speaker 1>just so fucking hot and dry and uh, you know,
<v Speaker 1>miserable to being dangerous, dangerous to being But right now
<v Speaker 1>is a good time to go. Okay, all right, let
<v Speaker 1>me let's see, we're gonna do something different. I stepped
<v Speaker 1>away for a minute, you know, I got other ship
<v Speaker 1>to do besides just talking to you know, on this
<v Speaker 1>on this podcast, talking to you guys. Anyway, I'm back
<v Speaker 1>and I feel like kind of masochistic today. So I'm
<v Speaker 1>gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna play something terrible for you,
<v Speaker 1>uh that you know, hopefully you will get stuck. You
<v Speaker 1>will get it stuck in your head and you'll feel
<v Speaker 1>as bad about it as I do. It really is,
<v Speaker 1>it's it's horrible it's it should be this, this song
<v Speaker 1>should be illegal. We're gonna go ahead, change of pace here,
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna we're gonna check this out.
<v Speaker 2>And loves your country.
<v Speaker 1>Check this. This is this is this is an audible
<v Speaker 1>form of genital herpes. If genital herpes, if genital herpes
<v Speaker 1>could be could be uh manifested into his song, it
<v Speaker 1>would sound like this. Let's turn it up a little bit.
<v Speaker 1>Just maybe you maybe you, maybe you get this stuck
<v Speaker 1>in your head. You get a little earworm. And notice
<v Speaker 1>that in the video, this man is not playing the guitar,
<v Speaker 1>He's just holding it. Let's go back to the because
<v Speaker 1>it was you're a bad asshole working American that loves
<v Speaker 1>your country. Check this. See that? Did you hear what
<v Speaker 1>he said? If you're a badass, hard work and American,
<v Speaker 1>America deserves this. This is punishment. This is divine intervention. Now,
<v Speaker 1>I've never been very religious. I've been more of a
<v Speaker 1>spiritual type, but this makes me believe in some sort
<v Speaker 1>of uh, some sort of you know, divine vengeance. You know,
<v Speaker 1>America has not been behaving well, you know ever since
<v Speaker 1>World War Two, all those all those foreign interventions, those coups,
<v Speaker 1>all this all the things the CIA, this is punishment
<v Speaker 1>for it, and now for what America has done lately.
<v Speaker 1>This is I mean, and the guy's whole page. If
<v Speaker 1>you want to check this out for yourself. I almost
<v Speaker 1>feel bad. You know, this this man is either this
<v Speaker 1>is either the most brilliant satire. Uh. This is either
<v Speaker 1>the most brilliant satire or this is this man is
<v Speaker 1>mentally ill. And I would say, just judging from how
<v Speaker 1>prevalent mental illness is in American society today. And I
<v Speaker 1>fully understand why I'm not being ablest, I'm or Sainist,
<v Speaker 1>which is I think that's the new word they invented,
<v Speaker 1>Sainist if you're if you discriminate against those who are
<v Speaker 1>mentally ill. I'm not being Satanist. I think that this
<v Speaker 1>is there's a genuine mental health crisis in this country,
<v Speaker 1>you know, part of part of which stems from the
<v Speaker 1>fact that we live in ugly shitholes that are dominated
<v Speaker 1>by car dealerships, billboards, and parking lots, and we're trapped
<v Speaker 1>in cars we have, you know, we have no connection
<v Speaker 1>to the living world around us. Mental illness is to
<v Speaker 1>be prevalent, and you're gonna get shipped like this I mean,
<v Speaker 1>this guy's whole page. It's like it's thirty reels, thirty
<v Speaker 1>Instagram reels of just this same song, you know, with
<v Speaker 1>there's some stock footage. He puts some stock footage of
<v Speaker 1>people of color in there, you know, because he's this
<v Speaker 1>man is Caucasian. I don't know if you could tell.
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's very obvious just listening to this song
<v Speaker 1>that this man is Caucasian, but he puts some stock
<v Speaker 1>footage of black and brown people in there too, to
<v Speaker 1>show America's diversity. And you know he's, uh, it's he's
<v Speaker 1>wearing a sleeveless T shirt. He's got his hair slicked bad.
<v Speaker 1>I mean, he looks like Emilio Estevez straight out of
<v Speaker 1>like the late eighties. I heard this and it was
<v Speaker 1>it was horrible, horrible. I was in so much pain.
<v Speaker 1>I had to share it with with everyone I knew
<v Speaker 1>so that they could get it too. It's like it's
<v Speaker 1>it's it's like sharing chicken pox with people, which I
<v Speaker 1>didn't know. I had to xc for it. Now post
<v Speaker 1>ninety fight, they got a vaccine. It's everywhere, Yeah, the
<v Speaker 1>things you find on the internet. So that's what I've
<v Speaker 1>been doing, procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing my
<v Speaker 1>book is I've been listening to shit like this. But
<v Speaker 1>you should really go to this man's Instagram page see
<v Speaker 1>Wilder w y L d e R Music and read
<v Speaker 1>the comments. Let's see what some of the comments here are,
<v Speaker 1>because they are they are. It's amazing. If General Herpes
<v Speaker 1>was a song, that's me. Uh this is the song
<v Speaker 1>that plays at the end of a work safety training video.
<v Speaker 1>Uh uh? Legitimate question? Is this satire? Because I can't
<v Speaker 1>tell now. I know that the harping on this song
<v Speaker 1>too long is a distraction from you know, from from botany,
<v Speaker 1>which is the subject of this podcast. But again, this
<v Speaker 1>is this is you know, we do a little we
<v Speaker 1>dabble in anthropology too, and I think this is a
<v Speaker 1>good reflection of where America is at right now, you know,
<v Speaker 1>empire and decline right before the collapse. Anyway, gas station
<v Speaker 1>boner pill vibes. That was another comment. The comments are hilarious.
<v Speaker 1>So if you know, if you're pulling tubes someday and
<v Speaker 1>you're you know, you're you're stone out of your mind,
<v Speaker 1>come here with a friend to this Instagram page read
<v Speaker 1>the comments together. Hey man, I know there are a
<v Speaker 1>lot of negative comments in this thread, but that's all
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to say. I watched this masterpiece four times
<v Speaker 1>and this can't be real. Who is the fuck encouraged
<v Speaker 1>this dude to put this out? Wait? Am I going crazy?
<v Speaker 1>Is this the exact same video as this other one
<v Speaker 1>but with the background just under a bridge? Now I
<v Speaker 1>feel like I'm going crazy. Here's a good one. They
<v Speaker 1>should play this at Guantanamo Bay. It that it? Really
<v Speaker 1>they should. I'm gonna that's It's a fucking This would torture.
<v Speaker 1>Can you imagine being waterboarded with you know and uh,
<v Speaker 1>you know, prodded h and being forced to listen to
<v Speaker 1>this song for days, for fucking days. It's not turned off.
<v Speaker 1>You're strapped, you're cold, you're wet, it's damp, it's dark,
<v Speaker 1>there's mold on the concrete walls, and you're forced to
<v Speaker 1>listen to this. This would be torture. Instagram recommended that
<v Speaker 1>I edit my Wait what Instagram recommended that I edit
<v Speaker 1>my comments? I don't catch a band. Just know I
<v Speaker 1>roasted the hell out of you. That's not that good.
<v Speaker 1>This song made me want to take up communism if
<v Speaker 1>Acid Reflux were a song, get this man? A passport.
<v Speaker 1>This song made me root for Canada in the Four
<v Speaker 1>Nations tournament. I don't get that off. You know, this
<v Speaker 1>is I mean, this is bad. It's really it's it hurts.
<v Speaker 1>This is hurting me. I hope it's hurting you too,
<v Speaker 1>because you know, we all got to share in this
<v Speaker 1>paint together. Here's a good one. I was in the Marines.
<v Speaker 1>I'd like to think that I fought for everyone in
<v Speaker 1>the country except this guy. The mix on the vocals
<v Speaker 1>could use a little work, But other than that, this
<v Speaker 1>song sucks. This song makes me wish I had joined
<v Speaker 1>the military and got killed in action so I didn't
<v Speaker 1>have to hear it. This is the musical equivalent of
<v Speaker 1>a pizza party from man. That's a good one. A
<v Speaker 1>pizza party from management. I remember when the railroad, this
<v Speaker 1>must have been twenty fourteen or something. They threw us, ay,
<v Speaker 1>they announced it like a month before, and they were
<v Speaker 1>so proud of themselves. They were throwing us like a
<v Speaker 1>party at workday. And they were gonna have a track
<v Speaker 1>in the yard with this the Officer Special train in it,
<v Speaker 1>and they were gonna give us barbecue and all this shit.
<v Speaker 1>And then as the weeks progressed. It's slowly the incentives
<v Speaker 1>and what they were offering slowly diminished, Like we're gonna
<v Speaker 1>give you hot dogs turned into like microwave hot dogs
<v Speaker 1>to we're just gonna give you like a bag lunch.
<v Speaker 1>It's like, you know, you're better off just not showing
<v Speaker 1>appreciation for employees at all. You know, just give us
<v Speaker 1>like a swift, you know, booted kick to the groin.
<v Speaker 1>Let's see youth group pastor who definitely tries to groom
<v Speaker 1>teenage girls personified. That could be That could be a
<v Speaker 1>decent one. Oh, here's another one. There are a lot
<v Speaker 1>of haters in here, but I genuinely hope you get
<v Speaker 1>a bola. That was a good one. You go there
<v Speaker 1>and read the comments. I mean, this is really brutal.
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna go to another We're gonna go to another
<v Speaker 1>Instagram reel here that I really like this one. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>this one. This is an ad for something called the
<v Speaker 1>brush bullet. The brush bullet, the brush bullet, and it's
<v Speaker 1>a gun that you shoot at trees. It's like a
<v Speaker 1>little paintball sized capsule of herbicide. You shoot it at
<v Speaker 1>the tree, it drops, and then the next time it rains,
<v Speaker 1>which doesn't happen too much in Texas these days. The
<v Speaker 1>rain washes the erbside into the roots and it kills
<v Speaker 1>the tree. Now, what we're seeing here is a man
<v Speaker 1>which is given very Time of Finland vibes. He's in
<v Speaker 1>a cowboy hat. He's in a gray polo shirt with
<v Speaker 1>a collar tucked in to uh to, some some beige
<v Speaker 1>jeans with a little a big buckle on it, and
<v Speaker 1>some tactical style military boots. His package is accentuated. This
<v Speaker 1>is why I'm not imagining the Time of Finland thing here.
<v Speaker 1>This is real. Okay, this is real. He looks like
<v Speaker 1>a good Christian man. He's holding this what looks like
<v Speaker 1>a paintball gun filled with the brush bullet, with many
<v Speaker 1>brash bullets. And he's referring to you know, native species
<v Speaker 1>like juniper and mesquite as invisives. And you know, to
<v Speaker 1>be honest, this man doesn't seem that bad. I would
<v Speaker 1>talk to him, you know, I uh, you know, I
<v Speaker 1>I've been living in Texas for four years. Takes all kinds.
<v Speaker 1>I've I've seen people that I never had seen before,
<v Speaker 1>you know, like this guy. And I said, you know,
<v Speaker 1>he's not that bad, just don't get it talking about religion, politics,
<v Speaker 1>A number of subjects here are offully. You don't want
<v Speaker 1>to talk about him with this guy, because you're gonna
<v Speaker 1>hear it. It's the same thing if you start, you know, yeah,
<v Speaker 1>the same reason I wouldn't talk to like, I wouldn't
<v Speaker 1>bring those subjects up with someone who's like twenty two
<v Speaker 1>and goes to fucking Evergreen or something, you know, and
<v Speaker 1>as a septum piercing the size of a fucking uh
<v Speaker 1>shower curtain ring, you know, no offense to anybody would
<v Speaker 1>have accept the piercing out there. I just I had
<v Speaker 1>a sept up piercing when I was nine, no, nineteen,
<v Speaker 1>Excuse me. My parents weren't that loose. My mom wasn't
<v Speaker 1>that loose. Uh. I had a you know, I stuck one.
<v Speaker 1>I stuck a fucking staple through my nose. I had
<v Speaker 1>one of those for a while. But back then it
<v Speaker 1>wasn't It didn't have the connotations it has now. You
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean, where you're about to get lectured
<v Speaker 1>on your moral Okay, anyway, let's just listen to this
<v Speaker 1>thing on the brush bullet. All right, this is America today.
<v Speaker 1>I like holding a mirror up to the cultural zeitgeist
<v Speaker 1>to the country, and especially for any Canadians or you know,
<v Speaker 1>people in South America and ey Chileans, Brazilians, Australians who
<v Speaker 1>might be listening. I just want you to know how
<v Speaker 1>far we've fallen. So this is part of all that.
<v Speaker 1>This is why I'm doing this little crime Pays anthropology section.
<v Speaker 1>Here we go. I had been in the.
<v Speaker 2>Brush bullet for myself, but I think it might be
<v Speaker 2>something you might like if you've got invasive species like me.
<v Speaker 2>So what it looks like. It looks like a musket ball.
<v Speaker 2>When you shoot the trees, the tree catches it, drops
<v Speaker 2>it on the ground, and then it rains, and then
<v Speaker 2>the rain dissolves the bullet and it's pulled up by
<v Speaker 2>the tree and kills the tree. So say, if you've
<v Speaker 2>got junipers or mesquites or yuka or choria, this might
<v Speaker 2>be something y'all look out of my cell because it's
<v Speaker 2>easy to do, easy carry pickup.
<v Speaker 1>You don't even get out of the trees in the morning,
<v Speaker 1>eve you gotta get out of your picket. You can
<v Speaker 1>just rub yourself in the pileup while you're shooting stuff
<v Speaker 1>with your brush book. You get your shoot, You get
<v Speaker 1>your shoot them with your You don't even got to
<v Speaker 1>get out your picket. You can just sit there and
<v Speaker 1>your vinyl lembies, touching yourself, rubbing your thigh, admiring you're
<v Speaker 1>on package while you're shooting the brush bullet. Now, some
<v Speaker 1>people don't like the brush bullet, and I would say
<v Speaker 1>they must. They just must be homosexuals. It's a homosexual thing.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why you wouldn't enjoy it, this brush bullet.
<v Speaker 1>Some sort of you know, lib tard, homosexual libtard. You know,
<v Speaker 1>we do things a little different down here. All right.
<v Speaker 1>I'm wearing vinyl underwear. They're sloppy as hell. I'm sweating
<v Speaker 1>like a horror in church, all sweating like a pig,
<v Speaker 1>rubbing myself my truck, shooting a brush bullet out by
<v Speaker 1>wearing these vinyl panties. Don't hate oh God? So uh okay, anyway,
<v Speaker 1>where were we? Now that's enough for that. This, you know,
<v Speaker 1>it's ten minutes of the anthropological mirror of the current
<v Speaker 1>American mind state. So anyway, in other news, we were
<v Speaker 1>out at Thorn Scrub again. We're going out there every weekend.
<v Speaker 1>We got pig problems. They dig up Mammalarius sphericau. They
<v Speaker 1>you know, they mess with the payoti a little bit too,
<v Speaker 1>but they dig up Mammalaria spherica. It's a really cute
<v Speaker 1>little cactus. It can form these massive clumps, you know,
<v Speaker 1>the size of a basketball, maybe a little bit bigger
<v Speaker 1>in some cases. Yellow spines, prominent nipple like tubercles, and
<v Speaker 1>big succulent roots. And so the pigs go out there
<v Speaker 1>and they uproot this stuff and then eat the roots.
<v Speaker 1>And because it doesn't have any alkaloids in it, it's
<v Speaker 1>just got spines, and I like peyote as alkaloids, but
<v Speaker 1>they've even been going for peyote. But you know, you'll
<v Speaker 1>see the peyote where they bite it and then leave
<v Speaker 1>it because it probably tastes terrible, but it still kills
<v Speaker 1>the plant, or at least it's it's left to slowly die.
<v Speaker 1>But the Mammalaria has really been taken hit because they
<v Speaker 1>go and they eat the roots and then they just
<v Speaker 1>leave it. They just leave the tops of the plant
<v Speaker 1>and there's still enough succulent tissue in there for it
<v Speaker 1>to form new roots. But you know, they normally leave
<v Speaker 1>them unburied and upside down, and you know, So we
<v Speaker 1>go out there with a five gallon bucket because we
<v Speaker 1>got like one hundred and fifty acres and we go
<v Speaker 1>and we we picked these things up, and some guy
<v Speaker 1>is gonna come out there with a thermal drone, thank god.
<v Speaker 1>Uh and uh and hopefully we'll find out where the
<v Speaker 1>pigs are and where they lurk and uh and we're
<v Speaker 1>gonna shoot all of them. So it's you know there,
<v Speaker 1>it's it's really bad. I mean, the best answer would
<v Speaker 1>be defence the entire property, not just barbed wire, but
<v Speaker 1>you know, fence it to like four feet, so deer
<v Speaker 1>and coyotes can still get in and out, but pigs can't.
<v Speaker 1>And if they do, if they're somehow able to push
<v Speaker 1>the fence open, because normally you bury the hog panel
<v Speaker 1>a few inches right, and so they they could still
<v Speaker 1>get through if they really want to. But then you know,
<v Speaker 1>you'll be able to find out where they are, patch
<v Speaker 1>it up and uh. And then we got a pig
<v Speaker 1>trap too. But this is a this is a problem
<v Speaker 1>I did not foresee. We got we need to raise
<v Speaker 1>money to get a well, and we need to raise
<v Speaker 1>money for we were getting a shade structure out there.
<v Speaker 1>We need to raise money for fencing. So but it was,
<v Speaker 1>you know, it was a lovely day. It's really nice
<v Speaker 1>in South Texas now, I mean highs in the upper seventies,
<v Speaker 1>low eighties. The sand hill cranes came by. We were
<v Speaker 1>out there. I didn't expect that, you know, in the
<v Speaker 1>sand hill cranes, above the Payota Gardens, above the tam
<v Speaker 1>of leap in thorns grub of South Texas. That call
<v Speaker 1>is unmistakable. Giant giant birds, beautiful birds. They get some
<v Speaker 1>attitude too, And so I guess they were going to
<v Speaker 1>a punter. Some I saw really cool? Was it? Oh?
<v Speaker 1>It was it Chihuahuan night snake, not the Texas night snake.
<v Speaker 1>What is this? Oh maybe that's just oh, it's the
<v Speaker 1>same thing. Never mind, I guess are the same thing?
<v Speaker 1>Is that the same thing? Yeah, Chihuahuan night snake. Hipsiglina Jenni,
<v Speaker 1>Jenny Jenny. But we were moving some logs for fencing.
<v Speaker 1>It was too cold for this thing to be out.
<v Speaker 1>Not cold, but you know, it wasn't warm enough. And
<v Speaker 1>I found this little coiled up almost looked like a millipede, first,
<v Speaker 1>one of those giant millipedes, but it was this beautiful
<v Speaker 1>little knight snake that could fit calmly, you know, easily
<v Speaker 1>in the palm of your hand, with room, with room
<v Speaker 1>to spare. Really cool eyes on this thing. Too harmless
<v Speaker 1>and totally harmless. And it was just lurking there under
<v Speaker 1>a log. But out there we were mainly stretching fence
<v Speaker 1>around like a four hundred and ten foot section containing
<v Speaker 1>some of the densest densest cactus population that we want
<v Speaker 1>to protect from pigs. And that's where, you know, we'll
<v Speaker 1>put some of the Mammillaria spherica that we collected in
<v Speaker 1>the five gallon bucket. I'm gonna, you know, take them,
<v Speaker 1>root them and then plant them back in the ground. Uh.
<v Speaker 1>And for you know, for watering, I guess we'll just
<v Speaker 1>be taking five gallon five gallon jugs or something out there.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, but uh. But yeah, there's a lot
<v Speaker 1>of work to do. But it's it's such nice habitat
<v Speaker 1>to see and it's just it always blows my mind
<v Speaker 1>the amount of just barren ground, this barren silty sandy
<v Speaker 1>clay with nothing on it. I mean, there's huge barren
<v Speaker 1>patches of ground between the understory, right because you got
<v Speaker 1>I mean the dominant tree out there is misky. There's
<v Speaker 1>citarox line too. I saw a Texas ebony out there,
<v Speaker 1>Ebanopsis sabano so legumes, and then a handful of other trees.
<v Speaker 1>But these trees don't get tall. They get like ten
<v Speaker 1>feet tall. Max.
<v Speaker 2>Uh.
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot butch which is Zizyphus of two soofolia.
<v Speaker 1>It's a buck thorn ramnacy. You get it as far
<v Speaker 1>west as California, as eastern California as well. Very spiny,
<v Speaker 1>and that's that's like one of the saving graces for
<v Speaker 1>a lot of the smaller cacti out there is that
<v Speaker 1>this loat bush is like a barbed wire that protects
<v Speaker 1>them from getting damaged by pigs. But the pigs are bad.
<v Speaker 1>You got to use the thermal drone. So this guy
<v Speaker 1>is gonna come out with this thermal drone. Very kind
<v Speaker 1>gentleman offered to come out and uh find them and
<v Speaker 1>kind of see where they're at and then shoot them.
<v Speaker 1>But this thing is like, you know, it's just technology.
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't even aware. I mean, I knew it exists,
<v Speaker 1>but I've never seen it. I mean, I've these things
<v Speaker 1>come up hot. You could see them. You know, like
<v Speaker 1>a scorpion under a UV light, You ever done that,
<v Speaker 1>You should get a three hundred and sixty five nanimeter,
<v Speaker 1>not the three ninety five nanimeter. Get the three sixty
<v Speaker 1>five nanimeter UV black light flashlight, which is what Alan
<v Speaker 1>is always carrying around, carrying around everywhere. You know, it's
<v Speaker 1>just basically a chemical test and seeing if there's chemicals
<v Speaker 1>in whatever you're shining the light at that that fluoresce
<v Speaker 1>UV light. And then he was saying, you know, in
<v Speaker 1>deserts you don't see it a lot because there's so
<v Speaker 1>much cuticle uh and and waxy protective coverings, et cetera
<v Speaker 1>to protect a lot of the plants from exposure to UV.
<v Speaker 1>But a lot of lichens will fluoresce a lot of
<v Speaker 1>the time, and scorpions of course do as well. But
<v Speaker 1>you know, when we were in the Amazon and the
<v Speaker 1>darker habitat, everything was seemingly fluorescent under UV. The fucking
<v Speaker 1>cave was wild too. We found some something that it
<v Speaker 1>was a phosphorescent so it stayed, it stayed lit, uh
<v Speaker 1>it it it you know, you could charge it up
<v Speaker 1>with the UV light and then it would continue. You know,
<v Speaker 1>it was a glow in the dark, this material on
<v Speaker 1>this wall, and uh, Ethan who has access to a
<v Speaker 1>scanning electron microscope and some other utensils, took it, took
<v Speaker 1>a collected a sample of this this material. This this
<v Speaker 1>was like this white material looked like drugs. Honestly, it
<v Speaker 1>was on the wall of this cave and uh looked
<v Speaker 1>at it and it turned out to be very obviously
<v Speaker 1>human made. But it wasn't smear. It was like smeared
<v Speaker 1>on there. I don't know what it was. I don't
<v Speaker 1>know how it got there, but it was. It was
<v Speaker 1>made of compounds that are totally synthetic. And uh, you know,
<v Speaker 1>we thought it was like a natural phosphorescent material on
<v Speaker 1>the wall of this cave. And I guess in some
<v Speaker 1>places there are there are phosphorescent minerals. There was like
<v Speaker 1>a phosphorescent calcite somebody had mentioned that day that was
<v Speaker 1>on the wall of a cave in Colorado. Very interesting stuff.
<v Speaker 1>But you know, the the the whole, uh, the it
<v Speaker 1>was like a natural glow in the dark. You could
<v Speaker 1>charge it up and it would continue emanating light. God,
<v Speaker 1>that fucking cave was great. Oh my god. The whips scorpion,
<v Speaker 1>what do they call those things? The those giant like
<v Speaker 1>eight foot eight not eight foot, scuse me, eight inch, God,
<v Speaker 1>that would be amazing. Eight inch wide legs more like
<v Speaker 1>ten inch. These things are massive. They look terrifying, like,
<v Speaker 1>you know, like some hr Giga risk creature out of
<v Speaker 1>one of the Alien movies. And there are raknids, but
<v Speaker 1>they don't have any they're totally harmless. You can let
<v Speaker 1>them crawl on your face. But I saw one of
<v Speaker 1>those just hanging out super chill on this boulder in
<v Speaker 1>this cave. And then there was a lot of Cordyceps
<v Speaker 1>fungi that kills spiders in that cave too, And you
<v Speaker 1>would just see like this little two inch tall red
<v Speaker 1>tongue picking out of the mud which was probably half
<v Speaker 1>back guano. Very sketchy, you know, if you're a hypochondriac,
<v Speaker 1>very sketchy place to be. And there's running there's running
<v Speaker 1>water too, like a little river in the cave, like
<v Speaker 1>a little creek. Really cool. God, it was amazing. And
<v Speaker 1>then Bogonia is all outside Bogonias and ox ecuador insis
<v Speaker 1>or what was the exile speci I'll look it up later,
<v Speaker 1>Oxalis equid or something growing lithophytically on the rock walls
<v Speaker 1>of the above the cave entrance, but the cave was wild,
<v Speaker 1>and yeah, there were these cave crickets too, which I
<v Speaker 1>assume are just eating guano. All this stuff's on my
<v Speaker 1>eye naturalist. If you want to look at them, I'm
<v Speaker 1>sure you can just type in cave cricket or or
<v Speaker 1>a whip scorpion. You know what, I'll I'll look it
<v Speaker 1>up for you now, so we'll get you a genus
<v Speaker 1>and species name by the entomology thing. I'm really I'm
<v Speaker 1>really getting starting to get into it a little bit.
<v Speaker 1>I got that giant insect book that tome you could
<v Speaker 1>hit someone in the head with. It's like a twelve pounder. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>spider crickets and allies family felling gopsody. Yeah, no one's
<v Speaker 1>identified it down to the species or even genus. Got
<v Speaker 1>these things looked weird, these little crickets. They got like
<v Speaker 1>a white head this foot women wait for this photo
<v Speaker 1>to Yeah, God, what a weird. They're very obviously crickets,
<v Speaker 1>but they look fucking bizarre, and they were everywhere, and
<v Speaker 1>you know, they've probably they're probably able to eat bat iguano,
<v Speaker 1>and so because of that, now they themselves are composing
<v Speaker 1>the base of this whole food chain inside this cave,
<v Speaker 1>fast calling tree cricket. Oh I forgot I signed it.
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's that's a wonderful one. Those are the one
<v Speaker 1>that's my that's my ambiyond ambiyonce wave machine outside my door.
<v Speaker 1>Oh canthus seller and nick this O E C A
<v Speaker 1>N T h U s Oh can't this? Oh? Wow?
<v Speaker 1>You know the yainamol jisse by an asturalists. Thank you,
<v Speaker 1>thank you for for figuring out what what we're all
<v Speaker 1>looking at here? All right, let's talk about neotropical palms
<v Speaker 1>family Eric Casey aureka ac after the genus Arika, which
<v Speaker 1>what is this? Is this an old world? You got
<v Speaker 1>some of the in the in Central America? Are they native?
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. A lot of these tropical genera are pantropical.
<v Speaker 1>They're all over, you know, due to ocean currents and stuff.
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, the palm diversity, I'm int the palms now
<v Speaker 1>I have a new found appreciation for them. It's definitely
<v Speaker 1>one of those families that was ruined for me early
<v Speaker 1>on by they're really nearly use in horticulture. There's many
<v Speaker 1>horticultural atrocities in his family right, plants that are just
<v Speaker 1>overused and put into landscaping in places where they shouldn't be, right,
<v Speaker 1>like many suburban cul de Sact communities in Arizona. Places.
<v Speaker 1>I would want to shoot myself if I had to
<v Speaker 1>live there, No offense to anybody. Florida. Same thing if
<v Speaker 1>I had to live in like a suburban cul desect
<v Speaker 1>in Florida, I would also want to drink Dreno gargle,
<v Speaker 1>dreno right, gargle Mitch McConnell's balls. Jesus Christ, that's terrible.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know where it came from. Sorry, is that
<v Speaker 1>guy still alive? I don't know anyway, check his pulse.
<v Speaker 1>Many horrible, horrible uses of these things in horticulture, but
<v Speaker 1>it's not their fault. Right, Like to see queen palms
<v Speaker 1>where their native would probably be cool, right, Whereas the
<v Speaker 1>only time I want to see them here in South
<v Speaker 1>Texas is if they're dead in someone's front yard, having
<v Speaker 1>recently died from a freeze. You know, a queen palm
<v Speaker 1>standing like a burnt candle or perhaps a dildo, a
<v Speaker 1>consolid door on a turf composed of half dead Saint
<v Speaker 1>Augustine grass. Right, it's like pushing the boulder uphill. It's
<v Speaker 1>going to come down on you one day and kill you.
<v Speaker 1>But keep doing it despite how hard it is. Right,
<v Speaker 1>That's kind of what the lawn is in general. It's
<v Speaker 1>just it's ridiculous. It can't go. It can't get by
<v Speaker 1>without constant watering and pesticides and herbicides, and you know,
<v Speaker 1>you're literally poisoning the ground that you're walking on, that
<v Speaker 1>your kids are playing on. But it's worth it so
<v Speaker 1>he can have that nice, living outdoor green carpet. Anyway,
<v Speaker 1>I digress. The palm family is uh, these things were.
<v Speaker 1>The palm trees were everywhere, and some really cool species.
<v Speaker 1>Astro Carrium chambira was one of them. It's one it's
<v Speaker 1>used for fiber. They make these nice little bags, some
<v Speaker 1>of which are died. I would love to know what
<v Speaker 1>they're dying with. We saw these little bags in the market,
<v Speaker 1>these little uh you know, these little bags walk around.
<v Speaker 1>You got Cruise out there. He's walking around like some
<v Speaker 1>sort of you know, fucking modern day psychedelic hath no bodanist.
<v Speaker 1>Then his flip flops. I don't know how he's not
<v Speaker 1>worried about getting hip by the mosquitos because that's that
<v Speaker 1>would be the first thing I worried about. You gotta
<v Speaker 1>put oil on your feet. I'd becover my feet and vasseline,
<v Speaker 1>keep the fucking mosquitoes off them, and also just the
<v Speaker 1>grows out the general public. And he's out there walking
<v Speaker 1>around with a bag made of astro carrium chambira. You know,
<v Speaker 1>unassuming Cruise, a friend of mine, you know, looking all
<v Speaker 1>hippie dippy with his sandals and his astra carry jambira
<v Speaker 1>and his facial hair. I love you, Cruise. I'm just
<v Speaker 1>joking around, so, you know, but he was. He's The
<v Speaker 1>Astrocarrium chambira is the material, the fibers that are used
<v Speaker 1>to construct these wonderful bags. Right, they use the leaves
<v Speaker 1>to make uh, the make bags. The fibers basically come
<v Speaker 1>from the leaves, you know. So the young, unopened leaves
<v Speaker 1>at astrocarrium chambira palm are harvested, the fibers are extracted.
<v Speaker 1>You strip the leaves, you dry them, you process them,
<v Speaker 1>uh and uh. And these fibers are strong. I mean,
<v Speaker 1>it makes sense because a lot of these palms in
<v Speaker 1>the Amazon have fucking huge leaves, right, They've got to
<v Speaker 1>be flexible. But they've also got to not completely come apart,
<v Speaker 1>you know, from the from the elements from wind and
<v Speaker 1>things like that. So they these are these are highly
<v Speaker 1>durable fibers, great fiber palms. So it's you know, God,
<v Speaker 1>the fucking ethnobody done and the ethno boton? I see why,
<v Speaker 1>you know, like, uh, I still got to read that
<v Speaker 1>book One River. I haven't finished it. There's a section
<v Speaker 1>on the Payote gardens in there. I wasn't expecting that
<v Speaker 1>I was reading this book. I pirated it on anaz
<v Speaker 1>archive because libgen is down apparently, or I think there's
<v Speaker 1>libgen there's some other what is the fucking hole on?
<v Speaker 1>Let me get this for you. Yeah, lib gen that
<v Speaker 1>gs is still up. Libgen dot is is down. This
<v Speaker 1>is heartbreaking for me. I tried to use libgen dot
<v Speaker 1>gs yesterday. It wasn't working. You know. I may have
<v Speaker 1>uploaded some stuff there for the good of the general public.
<v Speaker 1>I certainly did not upload that out of print nine
<v Speaker 1>hundred dollars on Amazon legumes book? What is it? Legumes
<v Speaker 1>that are worth a fucking tome? I forget the name
<v Speaker 1>of it. I'm sorry, I'm getting turned up. I'm really
<v Speaker 1>you know, I gotta get outside. I got to go
<v Speaker 1>on a run or something. After this, it's be I
<v Speaker 1>got to enjoy this South Texas uh spring before it's over,
<v Speaker 1>you know, in three weeks and it's ninety degrees again,
<v Speaker 1>ninety's not that bad. Actually, you know it's gonna be
<v Speaker 1>a brutal summer. We're in a drought too. You know,
<v Speaker 1>stuff's gonna start dying. I was, I was, My daughter
<v Speaker 1>and I were flying the drone around our neighborhood yesterday,
<v Speaker 1>and it's you go to like the park area and
<v Speaker 1>like the place about irrigation canals, like looking at them,
<v Speaker 1>and it's just barren soil, Like the same barren soil
<v Speaker 1>I was talking about earlier that we have at Thorn Scrub,
<v Speaker 1>And you look at that, like big patches of just
<v Speaker 1>beige barren soil that was probably covered in cool native
<v Speaker 1>cacti only one hundred and fifty years ago. And then
<v Speaker 1>you you'd see that and you wonder, why the fuck
<v Speaker 1>are people trying to have lawns here. It's a sick cult.
<v Speaker 1>It's sick. They don't know any better, though. Be mad.
<v Speaker 1>You could be mad at the the ideology, but at
<v Speaker 1>the people. You just got to convince them you know,
<v Speaker 1>you've got to convince them you don't want that stuff.
<v Speaker 1>You got to get rid of that stuff. Why don't you,
<v Speaker 1>Why don't you? Why don't you try this stuff? We
<v Speaker 1>got this stuff. This stuff's pretty nice. You want to
<v Speaker 1>try some of this stuff? Right? Like a drug pusher,
<v Speaker 1>all right, but not malevolent. You're getting people hooked on
<v Speaker 1>something good, right. I planted that. I convinced my neighbor,
<v Speaker 1>you know, someone who very obviously didn't give a shit
<v Speaker 1>about their yard. I mean, they mowed it and everything,
<v Speaker 1>but it was barren as fuck. And I said, you
<v Speaker 1>want the cegave. I got the segave. I caught her
<v Speaker 1>right as she was rolling up get out of her
<v Speaker 1>car coming back from work. I said, you want I
<v Speaker 1>got this extra and I didn't. I picked a nice
<v Speaker 1>looking one too, because I've been planning the gaves everywhere,
<v Speaker 1>because it's just fucking it's the easiest thing to do
<v Speaker 1>a gaves, and prickly pairs can root them easily, dime
<v Speaker 1>a dozen. They get destroyed. Who gives a shit? I said,
<v Speaker 1>you want this? She said, eh, sure, great, I'm there. Okay.
<v Speaker 1>I picked a nice one, the one that looked good,
<v Speaker 1>not the one that was all twisted and had the
<v Speaker 1>leaves fucked up, or maybe I you know, when I
<v Speaker 1>was pulling it off the mother plant, you know, from
<v Speaker 1>an offset from an agave I got in the ground,
<v Speaker 1>I might have damaged the leaves. I picked a nice one, right,
<v Speaker 1>like a sellable one, which I don't do. They don't
<v Speaker 1>I don't do that. But you know, I gave it
<v Speaker 1>a nice one so she couldn't turn it down. So
<v Speaker 1>I fucking rode by it today when I was taking
<v Speaker 1>a dog for a bike riding, and I've seen it,
<v Speaker 1>and I said, that's that looks fucking nice. Like I
<v Speaker 1>see that yard, it makes me less depressed. Like but
<v Speaker 1>because you see like a a mode lawn, I get depressed.
<v Speaker 1>I feel pangs of pain and anxiety. I said, God,
<v Speaker 1>that fucking sucks. God. I hate the fucking world I
<v Speaker 1>live in. Oh what if humans done? You know? I said,
<v Speaker 1>So those are my thoughts when I see that, Like
<v Speaker 1>I see the fucking the personal injury attorney billboards, and
<v Speaker 1>I just I want to drink bleach, right, I want
<v Speaker 1>to vandalize them. I feel negative. I feel negative thoughts.
<v Speaker 1>If you feel negative thoughts, it's okay, it's normal. If
<v Speaker 1>you're in this society, right, you know, I mean, you
<v Speaker 1>don't act on them unless you're doing you know, small
<v Speaker 1>scale petty vandalism to things like billboards, you don't act
<v Speaker 1>on them unless you're doing that. But it's okay to
<v Speaker 1>feel that. It's okay to feel. Let's talk about our
<v Speaker 1>deal with our feeling. It's okay to feel negative things.
<v Speaker 1>When you look around at the world that we live
<v Speaker 1>in the United States, the world we've made, it's ugly,
<v Speaker 1>it's disgusting, all right. It holds up rich fools as
<v Speaker 1>heroes and it, uh, you know, it's just poison it.
<v Speaker 1>You don't want that stuff. You don't want that stuff.
<v Speaker 1>Get a fucking lawn. Get out of here with that.
<v Speaker 1>What do you want that you live in a fucking
<v Speaker 1>desert while you're trying to do this, when you're trying
<v Speaker 1>to have a lawn and in your spring, poison on it? God,
<v Speaker 1>you know so? But uh, you know these are this
<v Speaker 1>is my thoughts. But I don't verbalize some very polite,
<v Speaker 1>very polite, and I'm slowly planting shit all around my block,
<v Speaker 1>through my neighborhood wherever. Not gonna stop. You just you know,
<v Speaker 1>you just gotta you just gotta get it, get it
<v Speaker 1>in the right way. It's like I'm planting shit everyhere.
<v Speaker 1>You should do that too. Everybody should do that. Off
<v Speaker 1>you see some some fucking somebody with the You see
<v Speaker 1>a citizen with a lawn, and maybe they don't care
<v Speaker 1>about it. They just pay someone to come by once
<v Speaker 1>every few weeks and mow it down so it doesn't
<v Speaker 1>look out of control, so the city doesn't mess with them.
<v Speaker 1>You offer, you say, hey, how about this, you want
<v Speaker 1>somebody I could do this. I'll maintain it. Ask your neighbors,
<v Speaker 1>hit them up right, make it and don't do it
<v Speaker 1>in a way that that you know, they could be peep,
<v Speaker 1>be pushy, be politely pushy. So I just like seeing
<v Speaker 1>this stuff. I don't I really don't mind. I'm not
<v Speaker 1>trying to get in. I'm not trying to like, you know,
<v Speaker 1>slip in a hidden cost afterwards or something. I just
<v Speaker 1>I just want to see this because it's you know,
<v Speaker 1>it's nice. It's nice, it's nice. Your lawn isn't nice.
<v Speaker 1>The lawn makes me depressed. It's a cult of death.
<v Speaker 1>So uh, anyway, where were we talking about it. We're
<v Speaker 1>talking about palms. So anyway, the moral of The story
<v Speaker 1>is download One River by Wade Davis or purchase it
<v Speaker 1>if you need a hard copy. You really got to
<v Speaker 1>get out on this tablet thing, though, because you just
<v Speaker 1>get a decent tablet like a Samsung or something, or
<v Speaker 1>your your iPad whatever shit. And uh, I just start
<v Speaker 1>downloading PDFs, you know, and if some only available in
<v Speaker 1>like epub or DjVu, use a file converter to convert
<v Speaker 1>at the PDFs. I like PDFs, and then I use
<v Speaker 1>the app called read Era, which lets you bookmark and
<v Speaker 1>highlight stuff and you know, you can reference it later.
<v Speaker 1>It's really nice. So anyway, Anna's Anna's archive One River
<v Speaker 1>by Way Davis. It's about Richard Schulte's and at the
<v Speaker 1>Botanist then all this stuff he did everywhere he went.
<v Speaker 1>Interesting stuff. There's a I think it's chapter two or
<v Speaker 1>three is about the Peyote gardens and his work with
<v Speaker 1>the Native American Church. Really really cool stuff. So anyway,
<v Speaker 1>we were talking about Astrocaryum chambia, a common palm used
<v Speaker 1>for the fibers that it creates making these wonderful bags
<v Speaker 1>in the market. And when you look at this palm, yeah,
<v Speaker 1>the leaves are huge. I'm looking. I got in at
<v Speaker 1>observations and the whole quote trunk because remember, palms aren't
<v Speaker 1>really trees there, right. If you cut a cross section
<v Speaker 1>of a palm open and compared to the cross section
<v Speaker 1>is something like an oak, an oak will have growth rings.
<v Speaker 1>A palm will have vascular bundles, bundles polka dotted throughout
<v Speaker 1>that cross section. The vascular bundles of course, consisting of
<v Speaker 1>xylum and flow them. Xylem takes water up, floam takes
<v Speaker 1>sugars down and back up and all around passive transport
<v Speaker 1>for the xylum, active transport for to flow them right, right,
<v Speaker 1>So anyway you get the vascular bundles scattered throughout, there's
<v Speaker 1>no growth rings. And palms they're not technically trees, like
<v Speaker 1>maybe they are right good, but they're not. They're they
<v Speaker 1>don't have secondary growth, is what I'm trying to say, right,
<v Speaker 1>Some of the monocots get anomalous secondary growth. Palms don't
<v Speaker 1>get wider, right, I mean they do kind of from
<v Speaker 1>a ceiling, but then they reach a certain width at
<v Speaker 1>maturity and just stay that for the rest of their
<v Speaker 1>lives and just grow up. They can only grow up
<v Speaker 1>and down, not out like oaks or maple trees or
<v Speaker 1>any diekot or conifer tree. Can more on this later,
<v Speaker 1>but but anyway, Astrocarrium chambira, this trunk is covered in
<v Speaker 1>these spines, these like papery spines. It looks like they're
<v Speaker 1>much wider than they are, much wider than they are tall,
<v Speaker 1>and so it'll be like, you know, what millimeter a
<v Speaker 1>millimeter quote tall if you've got this thing laid out
<v Speaker 1>on a table, one of these spines, like if you
<v Speaker 1>cut it off from the tree laid on the table,
<v Speaker 1>it'd be a millimeter tall and like you know, ten
<v Speaker 1>centimeters long. So obviously there was a selection pressure of
<v Speaker 1>herbivores chewing on these things, probably now extinct megafauna like
<v Speaker 1>ground sloths, maybe some other things too. There used to
<v Speaker 1>be monkeys all throughout this region too, and now they're
<v Speaker 1>very rare, like common wooly monkeys. We met one of them.
<v Speaker 1>His name was Pepe. This couple in an indigenous community
<v Speaker 1>was raising him. Very lovely little little guy. But they're
<v Speaker 1>rare now. And I guess though that species, I think
<v Speaker 1>there's like ten thousand left or something. And my friend
<v Speaker 1>Dna told me that, you know, as a kid, she
<v Speaker 1>grew up and she see monkeys everywhere, and now you
<v Speaker 1>don't see him anymore. Does that sound familiar? The same
<v Speaker 1>shit you hear everywhere you go in the world where
<v Speaker 1>there's a growing human population. It's just what we do, right,
<v Speaker 1>like with the disappearing tarantulus and horned lizards and texas
<v Speaker 1>and you know, nobody seems to notice. A few people
<v Speaker 1>seem to care. It's the shifting baseline syndrome. This is
<v Speaker 1>why we've got to bring all this shit back into
<v Speaker 1>our lives. This is how you do it. You plant
<v Speaker 1>the plants and everything else will come. You make space
<v Speaker 1>for it, and kill those stupid fucking lawns and get
<v Speaker 1>rid of the horticultural atrocities that have a place five
<v Speaker 1>thousand miles away but not here right Like crape myrtles.
<v Speaker 1>You could get the brush bullet and shoot a crape myrtle.
<v Speaker 1>You can just go around. That's it. That's it, Okay,
<v Speaker 1>remember the brush bullet. I played that Instagram reel for
<v Speaker 1>you with the redneck with the package no offense to him.
<v Speaker 1>Probably wonderful man goes to church on Sunday's great Guy.
<v Speaker 1>But remember that from only thirty minutes prior in the
<v Speaker 1>podcast You could get the brush bullet and use it
<v Speaker 1>on things like crape myrtles, box woods, Bradford pears. You
<v Speaker 1>are poisoning the ground, but it's a temporary poison, and
<v Speaker 1>it's it's it's for the greater good. Walk around, Just
<v Speaker 1>walk around town, or you know, get if you get
<v Speaker 1>a car full of teens together, give him a gun,
<v Speaker 1>paintball gun loaded with brush bullets, and just have him
<v Speaker 1>go shoot the landscaping in a rich neighborhood, right, shoot
<v Speaker 1>it up into the canopy of the Bradford pears, the
<v Speaker 1>crape myrtles et cetera, the box woods, the Nandina domestica,
<v Speaker 1>the berberous thunbergie eye, the Japanese barberries. I just use
<v Speaker 1>the brush, Just use the brush bullet to start taking
<v Speaker 1>these things down, right, I mean you should be doing
<v Speaker 1>that anyway. Just start just start vandalizing crape myrtles everywhere. No,
<v Speaker 1>I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. That's not how we
<v Speaker 1>institute changed. Start talking about planting natives. Start gorilla planting natives,
<v Speaker 1>unauthorized planting of natives. Anyway, God it, Hey, crape myrtles,
<v Speaker 1>the brush bullet. You don't even have to leave your
<v Speaker 1>truck and you're sitting there in your vinyl panties findeling
<v Speaker 1>yourself and shooting the brush bull. Okay, I'm sorry, I
<v Speaker 1>don't know where I keep going back to that. Okay.
<v Speaker 1>So Astrocarrium chambira covered in spines, the trunk can get
<v Speaker 1>upwards of the trunk. This main stem can get upwards
<v Speaker 1>of like a foot foot and a half diameter breast height,
<v Speaker 1>and then just those huge leaves which are so important
<v Speaker 1>for making fiber. Astrocarrium chambira also bactiss gas apace gasippies gasippees,
<v Speaker 1>but it looks like gasipece bactress gasippies, which uh had these?
<v Speaker 1>When all the ones I saw around where we were
<v Speaker 1>staying at had these hanging nests by our apendulus in
<v Speaker 1>them ari apendulus. Uh sound like this. I'll play your
<v Speaker 1>song real I'll play it your song real quick. It
<v Speaker 1>was so so lovely to hear. God, I love it.
<v Speaker 1>And it was two separate birds, one calling and then
<v Speaker 1>the other responded to it. This is one more time,
<v Speaker 1>Just play one more time. Isn't that nice? Where are
<v Speaker 1>you at right now? You like hearing? Is where you're at?
<v Speaker 1>I hope you're not someplace too unpleasant oropendula O R
<v Speaker 1>O p E and d O l A. Okay, now
<v Speaker 1>here's one I found online. Listen to this. This is
<v Speaker 1>really nice. Sounds like a hammer drill. Oh. I see
<v Speaker 1>palms in the background. I see some of those neotropical
<v Speaker 1>palms in the back. I see the hanging baskets everywhere,
<v Speaker 1>the little hanging basket in I see. You don't have
<v Speaker 1>to be where you're at now. You could go to Puyo, Ecuador.
<v Speaker 1>You can go to Mirror. You have a nice time
<v Speaker 1>down there. You get out of the car slam and
<v Speaker 1>the death cult right and his whole you know, ocean
<v Speaker 1>of retard. It's not actually mentally disabled people, just people
<v Speaker 1>who choose to be retarded, you know what I mean.
<v Speaker 1>It's an American thing. We have fascism now, but you
<v Speaker 1>could say the word retard. Actually, it's not fascism yet.
<v Speaker 1>It's being instituted. It's it's corporate. It's corporate toocracy, it's
<v Speaker 1>the oligarchy is proceeding as planned. Okay, anyway, So Bactress
<v Speaker 1>gas Apiece aka the Chanta called the Chanta palm and
<v Speaker 1>the fruits out a bowl peach palm, the fruit tastes
<v Speaker 1>like a squash. It looks like squashed too. It looks
<v Speaker 1>like kabocha squash. Really delicious. And then you get that
<v Speaker 1>big seed. I wonder if you could grow and probably not.
<v Speaker 1>These are very humid, human loving plants. Maybe in Florida
<v Speaker 1>you could grow these, right, the same thing with thea broma,
<v Speaker 1>theobroma cacao, the chocolate tree, which needs fungus NaSTA polini.
<v Speaker 1>When you see the flowers on a chocolate tree, they
<v Speaker 1>are they are dime sized, maybe a little bit smaller.
<v Speaker 1>And to take into account that that overary inside that
<v Speaker 1>flower will eventually grow over a span of five to
<v Speaker 1>seven months to the size of almost a football. Uh,
<v Speaker 1>is pretty wild to think about. It's such a massive
<v Speaker 1>transfer of energy and and and just material to this
<v Speaker 1>thing to grow that fast. It's nuts. Got the pulp
<v Speaker 1>of those things taste so lovely, the white pulp. And
<v Speaker 1>then of course the seeds you can eat too, but
<v Speaker 1>they're you know, they're like purple. Look at this violet color.
<v Speaker 1>You chew up one of those seeds, you spit it out.
<v Speaker 1>They're a little bit bigger than an almond. Chew up
<v Speaker 1>one of the cacao seeds and spit it out. It's
<v Speaker 1>got like a violet tinge to it. But that pulp
<v Speaker 1>is something else. Man, I'll tell you. You kind of
<v Speaker 1>let it marinate in your mouth too. You don't just
<v Speaker 1>eat it and swallow, you know, American style, like a hag.
<v Speaker 1>You let it marinate for a while. It's got a
<v Speaker 1>like a taste like pink lemonade, maybe mixed with mango.
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, but but I digress. So the peach palm
<v Speaker 1>bactriiss gasipies, which again very important at the botanically. You
<v Speaker 1>see them on the selling these things on the sides
<v Speaker 1>of the roads. These you know, they just cut the
<v Speaker 1>whole peduncle off and uh and they've you know, they'll
<v Speaker 1>cut the whole peduncle off. It's like two feet long,
<v Speaker 1>the whole thing that they're holding, the peduncle and then
<v Speaker 1>the panicle of fruits, and they just sell them roadside,
<v Speaker 1>these little you know, the actual peach palm fruit itself
<v Speaker 1>is probably the size of a baseball, maybe a little
<v Speaker 1>bit smaller. Uh. Gionoma was a cool uh genus that
<v Speaker 1>I encountered. It's got the biffed leaves, looks like a fishtail,
<v Speaker 1>a big broad fish tail. Like a whale tail. The
<v Speaker 1>whale tail palm didn't see any flowering. I only saw
<v Speaker 1>one or two specimens, and I think there was at
<v Speaker 1>one of the lower elevation sites that we visit. Did
<v Speaker 1>tons of fungal diversity here too, Silasi be hoogshigany i,
<v Speaker 1>sharpest nipple, silasso bey silasopes up at the Korum silasipe
<v Speaker 1>young gensis. There were a number of psychoactive mushroom species
<v Speaker 1>in this habitattoo dense forest, shady rich duff on the ground,
<v Speaker 1>et cetera. But the copa palm, of course, was the
<v Speaker 1>dick palm, the ones with the roots that spread out
<v Speaker 1>the copa palm Iriardia del todia, as well as the
<v Speaker 1>walking palm, which doesn't actually walk. It just spreads roots out.
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't actually move, but those roots you can give
<v Speaker 1>the the the the illusion of walking because the old
<v Speaker 1>roots can rot off and it can form new ones,
<v Speaker 1>et cetera. So maybe you might get one that that
<v Speaker 1>changes its location by four or five feet, but it's
<v Speaker 1>not really it's not really walking, you know, as it grows,
<v Speaker 1>it might lean over a I don't know. I'm just
<v Speaker 1>trying to imagine where this stupid name came from whatever.
<v Speaker 1>So Critilla xo riza s O c r A t
<v Speaker 1>e A xo riza. It's got those stilt roots too
<v Speaker 1>that come out that kind of look like a screw
<v Speaker 1>pine like pan, you know, order pandanace, the genus Pandema,
<v Speaker 1>which is Old World tropics. But uh in the the
<v Speaker 1>roots kind of look like Iriardia deltoida, the copa palm.
<v Speaker 1>But excuse me, but they're covered in these spiny protrusions
<v Speaker 1>which are very and they don't have that like that
<v Speaker 1>the dick shape, the notorious penile phelic shape to them
<v Speaker 1>as much, you know, which is mainly the root cap
<v Speaker 1>and Eriardia deltoidia, which does look like a massive hog.
<v Speaker 1>It looks like a dong. That head of the dong
<v Speaker 1>is just the root cap and it's you touch it,
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of mucilaginous. It's a great illustration though, for
<v Speaker 1>what roots are doing, which is, you know, they they
<v Speaker 1>root caps on roots exude mucilage to decrease the friction
<v Speaker 1>as they move through the soil, and that's this is
<v Speaker 1>a great illustration of that. But I really want to
<v Speaker 1>talk about at some point, and I maybe will do
<v Speaker 1>this in another podcast. The difference in secondary the difference
<v Speaker 1>in growth. You know, you have secondary growth with the
<v Speaker 1>dicots or uticosts, we'll just call them dicots, but you
<v Speaker 1>just know that there's it's technically not as cutting dry
<v Speaker 1>as that. You got the basal angiosperm. Look at the end,
<v Speaker 1>look at the angrow sperm. By logic poster you got
<v Speaker 1>the more basal angiosperms, and you get the monocots, and
<v Speaker 1>you got the u diecots. But regardless, you got that
<v Speaker 1>secondary growth, which conifers also have too, they evolved it
<v Speaker 1>on their own. You have that secondary growth that lateral
<v Speaker 1>maris them or secondary you have secondary growth, lateral maris them,
<v Speaker 1>vascular cambium. These are all talking about the same thing,
<v Speaker 1>except you have vascular cambium and cork cambium too. But
<v Speaker 1>these are two extra layers of actively dividing cells that
<v Speaker 1>you get in dicots, whereas monoch cuts again only grow
<v Speaker 1>up and down, except for like the genus Dressina, some Yuckas,
<v Speaker 1>et cetera, which have anomaloists secondary growth. And what would
<v Speaker 1>that anomalist secondary growth look like, because remember there's no
<v Speaker 1>tree rings in the monocots, there's no there's no vascular cambium.
<v Speaker 1>It's it's you know, whereas like in a diecot, the
<v Speaker 1>heartwood is dead, and like in an oak, the hartwood
<v Speaker 1>is dead. The trees only alive on the outer few inches,
<v Speaker 1>the heartwood is dead. It's it's structurally sound. It's just
<v Speaker 1>providing structural support. That's why you know things like redwoods,
<v Speaker 1>which also have vascular cambium, and oak trees can be
<v Speaker 1>hollow on the inside because all that tissue is dead anyways,
<v Speaker 1>hollow on the inside and still alive. You're just like
<v Speaker 1>so many people. I love making that fucking analogy, just
<v Speaker 1>like so many of us living in this consumer hillscape
<v Speaker 1>dystopia being farmed as consumers. So but but you know,
<v Speaker 1>a in a palm, you don't get that, do you
<v Speaker 1>get the vascuar other bundles polka dotted throughout the stem
<v Speaker 1>and cross section. If you cut a palm tree down,
<v Speaker 1>you're just gonna see a bunch of fibers. That's why
<v Speaker 1>petrified palm wood is so easy to distinguish from uh,
<v Speaker 1>you know, petrified wood of like a cypress tree or
<v Speaker 1>a redwood, or a oak or magnolia, et cetera. So anyway, okay,
<v Speaker 1>so uh, copa palm and socrate copa palm irie Rtia
<v Speaker 1>deltoida i r a no i r i a r
<v Speaker 1>t e a deltoidia, the dick palm, the copa palm,
<v Speaker 1>and the walking palm Socritia x riza, which again formed
<v Speaker 1>these these flanged bases that look like an hourglass. The
<v Speaker 1>point is just structural stability. Neither one actually walks, uh,
<v Speaker 1>but it's just a way to create a broader base
<v Speaker 1>and make up for the fact that they can't grow. Latterly,
<v Speaker 1>that palms are minocots. They just grow up and down.
<v Speaker 1>They don't actually get broad or as they grow. And
<v Speaker 1>so since some of these can get upwards to sixty
<v Speaker 1>feet tall, they're gonna they're gonna create that flanged base
<v Speaker 1>using just roots, roots that sprout from buds that root
<v Speaker 1>buds that are three or four feet above the ground
<v Speaker 1>in some cases. And it forms this nice little pyramidal
<v Speaker 1>cage that acts like a flanged base in hourglass shaped
<v Speaker 1>to that base, giving it structural stability. And uh again
<v Speaker 1>eerie already a del toity. The copa palm's got the dickhead.
<v Speaker 1>It's I don't know how else to put it, I
<v Speaker 1>mean to mince words. What come on, I help you approude. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>there was andy in royal palm Dictyocarium lamarque anum. Where
<v Speaker 1>did I see that? That thing's beautiful? Uh Mauritia flexuosa,
<v Speaker 1>maurice palm, Moridia m A u r I t i
<v Speaker 1>A flexuosa. All these things are beautiful again. And when
<v Speaker 1>you see something in the context that evolved in instead
<v Speaker 1>of as this bastard child of human horticulture, of someone's
<v Speaker 1>bad landscaping choices, you really appreciate it more. And then
<v Speaker 1>one of the definitely deserves mentioned Onacarpus batua oe n
<v Speaker 1>O c r p Us Onacarpus batua, which I think
<v Speaker 1>has the longest leaves of any angiosperm. Let me check
<v Speaker 1>that really quick. Let's look that up really quick. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>I'm giving you bad information. I'm glad I checked this.
<v Speaker 1>H Raffia regalis is a species of flowering plant in
<v Speaker 1>the palm family eric case. It is founded in Gola, Cameroon,
<v Speaker 1>so Equatorial Africa, Republic of the Congo, Gabona, and Nigeria.
<v Speaker 1>It's natural habitat is subtropical or tropical moist lowland forests. Yes,
<v Speaker 1>of course it is threatened by habitat loss. Not surprising,
<v Speaker 1>is you know there's a human tumor grows and takes
<v Speaker 1>more for itself and leaves little for the rest of
<v Speaker 1>the biosphere. Raffia regalis has extraordinarily large leaves. Botanisty collegist
<v Speaker 1>Francis Hally Hally encountered a specimen in the Republic of
<v Speaker 1>Congo bearing a frond twenty five point nine to one
<v Speaker 1>meters eighty five feet in total length, of which sixteen
<v Speaker 1>point forty seven meters is the blade or lamina, while
<v Speaker 1>nine point four to four meters is the stalk or petiole,
<v Speaker 1>of which thirty two inches was below soil level. These
<v Speaker 1>near vertical frinds are arranged in the very rare one
<v Speaker 1>four PHILOTAXI well, thank you Wikipedia. Let's see photos of
<v Speaker 1>Rafia regalis. Oh yeah, this thing is those those where
<v Speaker 1>the petiole attaches to the stem, doesn't get too high
<v Speaker 1>above the ground. It's got kind of like a vase shape.
<v Speaker 1>Interesting growth habit Yeah, man, palms are cool. I take
<v Speaker 1>it back, I'm sorry. Well what is it? That is
<v Speaker 1>that the inflorescence? Holy shit? What is this thing? God?
<v Speaker 1>The inflorescence on this thing is wild. It looks like, well,
<v Speaker 1>I guess this is an immature one, but it looks
<v Speaker 1>like it looks like some sort of worms. This is
<v Speaker 1>the I guess it just hasn't opened yet. But it's
<v Speaker 1>a very bizarre looking structure. And you got Raffia vinifera.
<v Speaker 1>How many species are in this? Uh? How many species
<v Speaker 1>are in the genus Raffia? God? You know this is
<v Speaker 1>this is exciting. I love feeling that excitement when you
<v Speaker 1>learn about a new genus or a new clay, a
<v Speaker 1>new evolutionary group of of some organism that you're just
<v Speaker 1>fascinated by, and then you just go down a wormhole
<v Speaker 1>of looking up, you know, all the different variations on
<v Speaker 1>a theme. Here's here's Raffia far aniffra from Madagascar with
<v Speaker 1>there's an inflorescence and it looks like it's got upside
<v Speaker 1>on pine cones, upside on conical spiraling bracts, spiraling bracts
<v Speaker 1>forming a little looks like a conifer cone on the
<v Speaker 1>inflo And so those are fruits. I take it. Now.
<v Speaker 1>You gotta wonder what the ecology of this thing is,
<v Speaker 1>what pollinates it, what disperses the fruits? God? I'd love
<v Speaker 1>to go to Madagascar too. How many species on A
<v Speaker 1>naturalists have been observed eight Raffia australis. Where is this
<v Speaker 1>it Raffia vinifra raphi, which is also a genus of
<v Speaker 1>moth as it seems, so, don't get confused, don't get
<v Speaker 1>thrown off. How many species in this genus are quite
<v Speaker 1>a few, only eight of which have been documented on
<v Speaker 1>I Naturalists, Like, there's twenty species Raffia sedanica. God, there's
<v Speaker 1>so many wonderful end list forms, most beautiful that I
<v Speaker 1>wish people could research, but they unfortunately they can't in
<v Speaker 1>some places because the human situation there is too fucked,
<v Speaker 1>you know, and you gotta be bribing people. The whole
<v Speaker 1>system's corrupt. Whatever. Oh, the human situation on Earth, Jesus,
<v Speaker 1>you know, I guess it's better than dealing with like
<v Speaker 1>predatory stick megafauna. Well, that's kind of the same thing.
<v Speaker 1>Humans can act like that. But you know, I was
<v Speaker 1>just thinking, if you could go back in time, right,
<v Speaker 1>you could go back, you know, one hundred thousand years
<v Speaker 1>to some of these locations throughout the world and study
<v Speaker 1>the plant life there. About having to worry about getting
<v Speaker 1>abducted or having to pay a cop or getting shaken
<v Speaker 1>down by the cops or you know, uh, it's just Jesus.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. It's sad too. I mean, I think
<v Speaker 1>about places in the world to go and just the
<v Speaker 1>fucking poverty level there and the despair. It's it's awful
<v Speaker 1>shit to think about. You know. I got to bring
<v Speaker 1>people up. I got to bring people up out of
<v Speaker 1>that shit. Okay, So anyway, Uh yeah, so Raffia. But
<v Speaker 1>but so owner Carpus is not Owner Carpus Betua is
<v Speaker 1>not the largest what the fucking big leaf? I mean,
<v Speaker 1>they're probably maybe maybe the largest neotropical palm leaf. They're
<v Speaker 1>upwards of probably fifty feet. It looks like I'd love
<v Speaker 1>to get somebody on here to study maybe somebody who
<v Speaker 1>studies palms, maybe maybe contacts Scott's owner or something. Have
<v Speaker 1>somebody on here to talk about palms, because I'll be honest,
<v Speaker 1>I was not interested in them before. And then, of
<v Speaker 1>course down in Brazil and the you've got the dwarf
<v Speaker 1>palms that grow in the campus for pestorates, haveitat with
<v Speaker 1>all the interesting cactirom bromeliads in the genus Syagris s.
<v Speaker 1>Y a g r u s siagris do rdi d
<v Speaker 1>u A r t Ei. Excuse me, did I see
<v Speaker 1>any other palms Dictiocarium lamarchian. I mean we talked about
<v Speaker 1>that already, uh with Tinia. That was another one that
<v Speaker 1>I saw there. I mean, it's so easy to say
<v Speaker 1>they're just large grasses, which they kind of are, but
<v Speaker 1>they're also a lot more complex than that. They're and
<v Speaker 1>they're not actually grasses. They're not even in the order Poelis.
<v Speaker 1>They're in their own order the poems. They're in the
<v Speaker 1>order Arakles again, not not like the genus Erica e
<v Speaker 1>R I c A, but Aureka a R E c a,
<v Speaker 1>which is a genus of palm arek ac. But the
<v Speaker 1>what is the other family? Is it dazipogan Ac? I
<v Speaker 1>think it's the other family that's in uh order eric Calees.
<v Speaker 1>I think it's just the palm family and the Dazi pogons,
<v Speaker 1>which I believe are all Australian. Oh no, maybe not.
<v Speaker 1>Genus Bexteria Callectasia, Kingia king Ya australis monotypic genus extremely weird.
<v Speaker 1>The Australian grass trees, one of the two unrelated monocot
<v Speaker 1>genera referred to as grass trees Kingia only as one
<v Speaker 1>species king of Australis. And that's in again family daz
<v Speaker 1>apogan ac, after the genus das Apogon, which I encountered
<v Speaker 1>a lot in Western Australia. I guess that family has
<v Speaker 1>four genera in it. But then then the other grass
<v Speaker 1>tree is Xanthoria, which is a very species rich throughout Australasia.
<v Speaker 1>Some really cool, but they look so much alike when
<v Speaker 1>they're not in flower Kingya and Xanthoria. What are the
<v Speaker 1>other what are the other genera? There's a pogon, they
<v Speaker 1>see Baxteria and Caliktasia. Where's Baxteria native? Ooh, this is
<v Speaker 1>a game been monocots? Huh monocots. You didn't think you'd
<v Speaker 1>get into them. You didn't think you didn't think they
<v Speaker 1>were that that fastening. Oh that's a Western Australian genus too.
<v Speaker 1>How many species? Oh? Just back, just one Baxteria australis
<v Speaker 1>and that's I got to see that. Now that's a
<v Speaker 1>weird one. I want to log all this stuff, so
<v Speaker 1>I just have my own reference, my own my own
<v Speaker 1>photo reference library of all these uh, all the Earth's
<v Speaker 1>plant diversity Oh wow, Jesus Christ, what is this? Calctasia
<v Speaker 1>one of the other one of the four gen era
<v Speaker 1>in dasipogan ac have h you have Baxteria, Calctasia, Dazi Pogon,
<v Speaker 1>and king Ya some really cool Dasipogons too. But Caliktasia
<v Speaker 1>C A L E C T A S I A
<v Speaker 1>is a fucking this thing? Is? This has showy flowers? Man?
<v Speaker 1>Jesus Christ six teopled purple people's flowers with red anthers. Jesus,
<v Speaker 1>what is this? Oh my god? Have I never heard
<v Speaker 1>of this before? I want to see this? Where is this?
<v Speaker 1>This is a western Australia throughout the Australian continent or what?
<v Speaker 1>Oh you got some in Victoria too, so western and
<v Speaker 1>southern Australia. Calctasia. That is a beautiful genus. Holy shit,
<v Speaker 1>probably really cool too. I wonder what it's pollination biology is.
<v Speaker 1>I wonder what it's ecology is. That's how have I
<v Speaker 1>never heard of this before? Let's check out the species diverse?
<v Speaker 1>How species rich is it? You got fifteen species Calctasia
<v Speaker 1>Browniana syanea, the Marzii grassless granted Florida his Buta intermedia
<v Speaker 1>jubilea Kigiia. It sounds like a European name, Naragara, Abtusa, Pallustris, Pignadiana,
<v Speaker 1>and Valada Calctasia. Fucking I gotta go back to Australia.
<v Speaker 1>I love Australia over there. It might be my escape
<v Speaker 1>eru when this country gets too miserable to live it
<v Speaker 1>or just you know, when it's just so revolting to
<v Speaker 1>look at what we've done of the landscape here. You
<v Speaker 1>know that'll happen after Trump sells off the national parks.
<v Speaker 1>They're gonna put the see That's what it's gonna be,
<v Speaker 1>just like this. It's gonna be dystopic. Don't get me wrong,
<v Speaker 1>but it's gonna be like idiocracy dystopic. It's gonna be
<v Speaker 1>just you know, the the the billboards, this consumer cartoon hell.
<v Speaker 1>You know where you can feel people getting dumber around you.
<v Speaker 1>That is what you can feel, the populace getting dumber.
<v Speaker 1>That's what is this is that that's not Kingia australis
<v Speaker 1>what is this thing? I'm looking at? Dazapoganace two what
<v Speaker 1>call the only other family in the Palm family. You
<v Speaker 1>got arik Ac and then dazipogan Ace, the only other
<v Speaker 1>family in the palm order. Excuse me? Oh wow, there's
<v Speaker 1>only three species of Dazipogon too, so this is not
<v Speaker 1>a super species rich family dazipogan Ace. Wow, that's wild.
<v Speaker 1>For some reason, I thought there were more, but I
<v Speaker 1>guess it's just the only only a few species of Dosipogon,
<v Speaker 1>one species of Kingia, probably twenty species of uh Calectasia,
<v Speaker 1>and one species of Bexteria. Anyway, Okay, I digress, But
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, Eric Cayley's ariks the palm order. And then
<v Speaker 1>how many fucking species of palms. There's probably a shif
<v Speaker 1>ton twenty six hundred species of palms, jeez, all over
<v Speaker 1>the world, and of course the most cold tolerant one
<v Speaker 1>in New Zealand. No, I'm sorry, I was. I was
<v Speaker 1>thinking Ropelo Stylus sapada in New Zealand, though it is
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful palm, is certainly not the most cold tolerant one.
<v Speaker 1>The most cold tolerant palm is here in the US's
<v Speaker 1>in Florida. I saw it in April of twenty three.
<v Speaker 1>It's Rapidophyllum historix, can reportedly survive temperatures as low as
<v Speaker 1>negative ten degrees fahrenheit, and it's abute. Here's a picture.
<v Speaker 1>One covered in snow, thrives in moist environments, ideal for
<v Speaker 1>USDA zone six to ten. You could grow to us
<v Speaker 1>in Cleveland. No, it's Cleveland zone sixth probably now a
<v Speaker 1>climate change. Yeah, throw a sheet over it. Throw some
<v Speaker 1>plastic painters, tarp over it. During a really cold days,
<v Speaker 1>midjeweled date palm, drooled date palm. They they got one
<v Speaker 1>of those planted in a parking lot near where I live,
<v Speaker 1>a parking lot of some depressing shopping center. But it
<v Speaker 1>puts out actual decent fruits. You can go get them.
<v Speaker 1>You go harvest, fill up a bucket like an old
<v Speaker 1>Italian lady harvest and dandelions on a median strip is
<v Speaker 1>Cicero Avenue. Not that I would know anything about that.
<v Speaker 1>That's what they used to do though, reportedly, and they
<v Speaker 1>liked it. On the Median strip. The old Italian ladies
<v Speaker 1>would get the they'd harvest the dandelion greens on the
<v Speaker 1>median strip because supposedly that was where the dogs couldn't
<v Speaker 1>pee on them. But it was also where all the
<v Speaker 1>tired dust leaded gasoline particulates. Because this is back in
<v Speaker 1>the day and uh break dust tired dust. You know,
<v Speaker 1>the plethora, the bounty of carcinogens produced by our car
<v Speaker 1>centric infrastructure that's ready with all land on a median strip.
<v Speaker 1>So but at least you weren't eating dog piss. I'd
<v Speaker 1>rather eat greens with dog piss and greens with the
<v Speaker 1>diesel exititates. I mean, in an ideal world, I have neither.
<v Speaker 1>But you know, since this is the modern day, you
<v Speaker 1>got to take your pick. You want you want to drink,
<v Speaker 1>you want to eat dog piss, or you want to
<v Speaker 1>eat the car syn engens. Anyway, I want to talk
<v Speaker 1>about the family cyclant thesy, which I've taken an interest in,
<v Speaker 1>the Panama hat family in the order Panda Nale's Now.
<v Speaker 1>I I first saw one of these in Mobot, and
<v Speaker 1>I had forgotten about it. I forgot I saw it
<v Speaker 1>in Mobot. I had a nice little label on it.
<v Speaker 1>It had a flowering structure that looked absolutely insane. It
<v Speaker 1>looked like one of those uh uh, you know, knockdown
<v Speaker 1>characters that you hit with the balls in like a
<v Speaker 1>carnival carnival game. You know, like they got the little
<v Speaker 1>like the thing that looks like what is that guy's name?
<v Speaker 1>Beaker the Muppet beaker. You don't know what the funk
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about. That's okay, need to do I apparently.
<v Speaker 1>But it's got these these long thing, these things that
<v Speaker 1>look like long white hairs, sometimes four to five inches long,
<v Speaker 1>coming off of this rod. It looks like, uh, you know,
<v Speaker 1>some some guy wearing like a white wig. H you know,
<v Speaker 1>like some like you know, Rocker wearing a white wig.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. It's a fucking bizarre looking thing. But
<v Speaker 1>then the leaves look like palm leaves. You would think
<v Speaker 1>that this is just a palm, but then you see
<v Speaker 1>it inflorescence and you realize this is not a palm.
<v Speaker 1>This is a member of the Panama hat family cyclanth
<v Speaker 1>they see, which is neotropical. It only exists in the Americas.
<v Speaker 1>It's the only New World I saw this thing. What
<v Speaker 1>did I say? I think I saw a species of
<v Speaker 1>a splendia, But I had no idea what was going
<v Speaker 1>on with the inflorescence. I had no idea what were
<v Speaker 1>the male flowers, what were the female flowers. It was
<v Speaker 1>one of the most bizarre plants I've seen as of late,
<v Speaker 1>and I was at elevation thirty one hundred feet. But again,
<v Speaker 1>if you're into Saint Louis Aria. You just go to
<v Speaker 1>Missouri Botanical Garden and a mobot greenhouses in there and
<v Speaker 1>check out what they got. They also have a thea broma.
<v Speaker 1>They also have a chocolate tree, which is cool to
<v Speaker 1>see if you could see it in flower. The flowers
<v Speaker 1>on chocolate are nuts, and you can also look at
<v Speaker 1>the flowers and see, Okay, I see how that's in
<v Speaker 1>the cotton family mal As. It's got the pentamerous associated
<v Speaker 1>you know, the pentamerous form. But I saw one of
<v Speaker 1>the genus uh. The genus was a splendia. These things
<v Speaker 1>are like low growing palms. They don't get too tall.
<v Speaker 1>Some are scandent and grow epiphetically. They can kind of
<v Speaker 1>vine up other other plants. I saw another a splendia
<v Speaker 1>doing that. They often have a very distinct leaf to them.
<v Speaker 1>They've got this V shaped leaf. It kind of looks
<v Speaker 1>like that Geonoma palm. But then the rackies the stem
<v Speaker 1>that holds the leaf. The petiole UH is in in
<v Speaker 1>cycling many members of Cyclone, the sy is round, it's
<v Speaker 1>not flat. Cyclanthus is another genus Cyclanthus a Spleundia carludovica.
<v Speaker 1>That's the genus of of the Panama hat, uh, the
<v Speaker 1>Panama hat because Panama hats were made from the leaves
<v Speaker 1>of these days and Dicranopigium. There's a number of other
<v Speaker 1>I've I've downloaded some papers. There's a number of other
<v Speaker 1>genera in this family. But it is a fucking weird family.
<v Speaker 1>And again it's in order Pandinales, which not many people
<v Speaker 1>will have heard of, especially in the United States, because
<v Speaker 1>Pandana or Pandanas, the namesake genus of his family is
<v Speaker 1>Old World tropics, and you don't really get any members
<v Speaker 1>of his family in the US. Maybe one or two,
<v Speaker 1>maybe a couple planet as horticultural specimens, but it's very
<v Speaker 1>otherwise unknown. What's cool about them, though, is they're almost
<v Speaker 1>all pollinated by beetles. They kind of mimic aerids, both
<v Speaker 1>in their inflorescence shape or they've got a spath in
<v Speaker 1>a spaedix, and also that they're pollinated by beetles. The
<v Speaker 1>long white hairs that looked like the white hair on
<v Speaker 1>his seventies rocker Muppet that I was imagining when I
<v Speaker 1>was describing the inflorescence to you, those long white things
<v Speaker 1>are staminoes. They're sterile statements. They're generally interpreted to be staminodes,
<v Speaker 1>but they're also there. Their benefit is in being osmophores.
<v Speaker 1>They're kind of like these scent producing structures that help
<v Speaker 1>attract the beetle pollinators. This is some really interesting shit
<v Speaker 1>to me because ecologically, first off, using beatles as pollinators
<v Speaker 1>is kind of unusual. It's more of like a basal
<v Speaker 1>angiosperm thing, right, or a psychad thing. It's it's unusual
<v Speaker 1>to me because it's it's just a notable pollination syndrome.
<v Speaker 1>I mean it's and the beatles don't just they're not
<v Speaker 1>like bees where they come and they dabble for a
<v Speaker 1>little bit, collecttion pollen and take off. These things are
<v Speaker 1>hanging out for a while, all right. They kind of
<v Speaker 1>like use a magnolia's do this too. The beatles kind
<v Speaker 1>of use the inflorescence as a sex hotel. Maybe they
<v Speaker 1>hang out, you know, have a buffet, right like they're
<v Speaker 1>like they're at the Louby's buffet or they're one of
<v Speaker 1>the buffets as you would go to, you know, steal
<v Speaker 1>food from and uh some horrible casino in Las Vegas.
<v Speaker 1>I fully, uh if you can still get away with that,
<v Speaker 1>please try. But it's a it's a notable pollination syndrome.
<v Speaker 1>And of course you've got this bract, this this sheath,
<v Speaker 1>this spatheu protecting this whole structure, and then it's got
<v Speaker 1>this like cone like structure. When it's done. The female flowers,
<v Speaker 1>I think there's there's let me, I gotta look up
<v Speaker 1>this flower diagram again. It's got this four sided structure
<v Speaker 1>and they're arranged in a spiral, which makes it look
<v Speaker 1>like a cone. It's elongated on a rod. Their their
<v Speaker 1>female first, and the staminoids are out when this in
<v Speaker 1>the female phase, so they are protogynus protogenous, just like
<v Speaker 1>aeroids as well, which is again expremely fucking unusual in
<v Speaker 1>the angiosperm world. Not extremely usual, but it's unusual, it's noteworthy.
<v Speaker 1>And so they're they're female first. And when they're female,
<v Speaker 1>how those staminoids are out attack, attracting beetles. And then
<v Speaker 1>the staminoids start to fall off as this inflorescence is
<v Speaker 1>entering the mail phase and the stamens are pretty reduced.
<v Speaker 1>They end up you can't really see the filaments, you
<v Speaker 1>just see the anther so they end up looking like
<v Speaker 1>these kind of wardy protrusions all over this rod. It's
<v Speaker 1>a really unusual flowering structure, a really unusual pollination biology,
<v Speaker 1>and a really unusual habit. And they all have this
<v Speaker 1>kind of fishtail leaf, these palm looking leaves that split
<v Speaker 1>into a fishtail or a whale tail, so it looks like,
<v Speaker 1>you know, you got two leaflets coming off of this petiole.
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, so cyclant These, it's the paper I'm using
<v Speaker 1>for one of these. There's two papers I was looking at.
<v Speaker 1>It sent emissions in floral nutrients of Carludo viccoid E
<v Speaker 1>cyclant these and they are importance for associated beetles. That
<v Speaker 1>was a really good one. The cyclant These is a
<v Speaker 1>monocof family of approximately two hundred and thirty perennial epiphyt its,
<v Speaker 1>vines and terrestrial herbs. They're tall herbs. They're five six
<v Speaker 1>foot tall herbs in some cases, with all extant species
<v Speaker 1>restrict restricted to Central and Southern America. The leaves are
<v Speaker 1>relatively large and palm like, and the flowers are small, unisexual,
<v Speaker 1>and aggregated into dense monoecies, so having both sexes on it.
<v Speaker 1>Spaduses Cyclanthacea are considered members of the order Pandinalias and
<v Speaker 1>the closest relative to this family is most probably Pandinace.
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, in the in the family cyclanth these we
<v Speaker 1>got two subfamilies, Cyclanthoid which just has one genus in it, Cyclanthus,
<v Speaker 1>and Carludovicoide, which has a number of genera. And what
<v Speaker 1>do we got here, Oh, fuck Jesus, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
<v Speaker 1>eleven genera in it Asplundia, Carludovica short, shorty, giny, diante, Dichronopigium,
<v Speaker 1>evident if if Odianthus, Ludovia, et cetera, steele A, Tilis, Feradia, etcetera.
<v Speaker 1>So anyways, uh, Carludovica, of course, uh, in A Splendia
<v Speaker 1>I think are by far the most species rich. But
<v Speaker 1>they've all got this beetle pollination so far as I know,
<v Speaker 1>and they all have this same general habit of being herbs.
<v Speaker 1>They are not very tall trees. They don't have this
<v Speaker 1>main stem that you know, it's colescent and above the ground. Yuh,
<v Speaker 1>et cetera. Some some do, I guess, the epiphytes, but okay, regardless,
<v Speaker 1>Carlutovica palmata again the the famous hat for the famous
<v Speaker 1>plant for Panama hats. It's started to make hats out
<v Speaker 1>of it fiber. There's the ethnic botanical importance here, but
<v Speaker 1>we're interested in the pollination biology and the beetles that
<v Speaker 1>use it as a sex hotel. And so it's we're
<v Speaker 1>talking about the inflorescence structure. You have two spades, these
<v Speaker 1>long bracts protecting this spadix, this kind of coolike spadix
<v Speaker 1>consisting of unisexual flowers, both male and female, and then
<v Speaker 1>these long ass staminodes which give it this utterly bizarre look.
<v Speaker 1>And we got we have a protogenous a thesis, so
<v Speaker 1>they're they're the the inflorescence is female. It's protogynus g
<v Speaker 1>y n o us protogenists just like a lot of
<v Speaker 1>aeroids are so so unisexual flowers. But the spadix itself
<v Speaker 1>is monoecious. It has both sexes on this inflorescence, and uh,
<v Speaker 1>it's a female first, so it's the protogenists and thesis
<v Speaker 1>last two days, so it's female for two days. The
<v Speaker 1>female flowers open for two days, at which point the
<v Speaker 1>staminodes are out emitting scent. Okay, but what's what's interesting
<v Speaker 1>is the night before the female flowers open, the spades
<v Speaker 1>opened a little bit and the light orange and still
<v Speaker 1>folded staminodes become visible. These are the long hairys. These
<v Speaker 1>are the osmophores which are emitting scent and attracting the beatles.
<v Speaker 1>And in the first night of anth thesis, you know,
<v Speaker 1>between three and four am, the spade is fully open,
<v Speaker 1>the staminode stretch and the inflorescence enters the pistolate stage, right,
<v Speaker 1>so they're just female, all right, which was regarded as
<v Speaker 1>the phase when the stigmas were receptive, all right. And
<v Speaker 1>this goes from about three am to seven am, all right.
<v Speaker 1>And during the following night around two thirty four am,
<v Speaker 1>the inflorescences of E. fIF e funiferer E. Funiffer which
<v Speaker 1>is Evodianthus Evodianthus funifer Ludovia, Lancefolia, and A. Splendia heteranthra,
<v Speaker 1>where the species used in this study. And this took
<v Speaker 1>place in French Guiana, which is a little bit northeast
<v Speaker 1>of where I just was in Ecuador, and reportedly already
<v Speaker 1>you know, from the beginning of the scent emission stage,
<v Speaker 1>which is when these staminodes are emitting scent, that the
<v Speaker 1>pit during the pistilate stage, the female stage of this flower.
<v Speaker 1>A lot of Coculionid beetles were attracted. These are like
<v Speaker 1>little weavils, and so at the time the still closed
<v Speaker 1>staminate flowers cover the receptive pistilate flower. Four of the
<v Speaker 1>six attracted morphospecies Coirculioni Coculionid d were pollinators, and they
<v Speaker 1>had to enter deeply into the inflorescence to contact the
<v Speaker 1>pistilate flowers, which are hidden below the staminate flowers in
<v Speaker 1>a kind of pollination chamber. They cut the staminodes at
<v Speaker 1>the base and fed on drops of the resulting secreted liquid.
<v Speaker 1>They made it and oviposited in the ab axial surface
<v Speaker 1>of the still closed staminate flowers. Jesus, so are they
<v Speaker 1>destroying the plant or what? These somebody's beetles leave? You know,
<v Speaker 1>they overpositi leave the leg the eggs and the leaf litter.
<v Speaker 1>Others are just doing it a currently right on the
<v Speaker 1>flowers themselves. The non pollinating beetles only visited the service
<v Speaker 1>of the inflorescence without entering it. So you actually have
<v Speaker 1>to crawl through these stamens, these these anthers, which are
<v Speaker 1>not open yet to get into the female flowers at
<v Speaker 1>the base this is already getting fucking weird. You gotta
<v Speaker 1>crawl into this thing, really, and the beetles are doing it.
<v Speaker 1>They're hanging out again, not like bees where they just
<v Speaker 1>they just you know, show up, hangout for five six seconds,
<v Speaker 1>maybe ten, then fly off. These things are like they're
<v Speaker 1>going in, they're banging. They're having a sex hotel. And
<v Speaker 1>then they're overpositing inside these flowers or in the leaf
<v Speaker 1>litter below. And more importantly, they're hanging out for almost
<v Speaker 1>twenty four hours. Right in the following night, the anthers
<v Speaker 1>of the stamine flowers open and touched each other so
<v Speaker 1>that only small holes offered space for the pollinators to
<v Speaker 1>crawl out. So when they're crawling out, they're picking up pollen,
<v Speaker 1>right and you know they're they're they're they're hitting the
<v Speaker 1>contacting the male parts of this inflorescence after they've already
<v Speaker 1>been contacting the female parts why to avoid self pollination,
<v Speaker 1>at which point they crawl out and they get pollen
<v Speaker 1>all over themselves, and then they move to another inflorescence,
<v Speaker 1>bringing pollen with them and having to crawl in past
<v Speaker 1>those closed anthers into the attracted by the scent emitted
<v Speaker 1>by the staminods having to crawl in past those closed anthers,
<v Speaker 1>you know, kind of like squeezing through to get to
<v Speaker 1>those female Yeah, see it says here. As they're crawling out,
<v Speaker 1>the beetles now move from the post receptive pistolate flowers
<v Speaker 1>at the interior of the inflorescence to the surface and
<v Speaker 1>became completely dusted with pollen while passing the staminate flowers
<v Speaker 1>and the other two species Ludovica lancefolia and Splendia heteranthra.
<v Speaker 1>The ecalyptiny beetles acted the same way. Unfortunately, the visiting
<v Speaker 1>beetles have not been identified to genera or species. Jesus Christ,
<v Speaker 1>that's crazy, man. There's so much we don't know about
<v Speaker 1>the living machine while we're taking it apart. This is
<v Speaker 1>why you know, we need more people in the natural sciences.
<v Speaker 1>There's just so much to study figure out how this
<v Speaker 1>living machine works, especially considering how imperiled it is by
<v Speaker 1>this species of bipedal ape thermogenesis. There was only a
<v Speaker 1>slight elevation of the floral temperature in E. Funifer during
<v Speaker 1>the pistolate stage. The spadix what is this The spadix
<v Speaker 1>reach twenty four point one degrees celsius zero point four
<v Speaker 1>degrees celsius above ambient temperature, so not a whole lot
<v Speaker 1>During the day, the inflorescence temperature was lower than the
<v Speaker 1>ambient Since the sense of the three studied species differed
<v Speaker 1>considerably in their composition, with the exception of three trace
<v Speaker 1>compounds which occurred in Bodianthus funifer and Ludovia, excuse me
<v Speaker 1>I was saying Ludovica Ludovia lancefolia, all compounds were species specific.
<v Speaker 1>The scent of evodi Anthus fuenefa are mainly consisted of
<v Speaker 1>turpenoids in two unknown components, with the sisca terpene a, farnacene,
<v Speaker 1>diax epoxid being by far the most abundant component. The
<v Speaker 1>two aromatic compounds of menzolacetate, cinemil astate, et cetera. So anyway,
<v Speaker 1>the presence study confirms that avodi Anthus fen for funifer,
<v Speaker 1>Ludovia anceifolia a splendid heteranthra areponated by small sized ecalypteny
<v Speaker 1>flower weavils. So these things, but still, these things are
<v Speaker 1>going in hopefully bringing pollen from a inflorescence of another
<v Speaker 1>plant they visited the night before, bringing this pollen in
<v Speaker 1>with them into these little sex chambers where the female
<v Speaker 1>flowers are. These tetramerous female flowers hanging out there for
<v Speaker 1>a day, copulating, potentially overpositing, getting pollen all over the
<v Speaker 1>female flowers, not off the staminodes, sucking a juice out,
<v Speaker 1>so they're eating too. They're banging and they're eating, and
<v Speaker 1>then they just when they crawl out twenty four hours later,
<v Speaker 1>the male flowers are opening, the stamins are opening, and
<v Speaker 1>they're getting dusted with pollen. This is really weird. This
<v Speaker 1>is cool and weird. So it's not really trapping them,
<v Speaker 1>but it's inducing them to hang out for a while.
<v Speaker 1>This is like a wonderful coevolutionary strategy here, right where
<v Speaker 1>both species benefit. Right the member of cyclant they see
<v Speaker 1>in the beetle pollinators, Oh, this is interesting. The staminodes
<v Speaker 1>these long white things that look like the hairs you
<v Speaker 1>know for the seventies muppet rocker wig. The staminoids are
<v Speaker 1>slightly flattened and have two ducks that are filled with
<v Speaker 1>a mucilage like liquid. Although not investigated in this study,
<v Speaker 1>we speculate that this liquid has two functions. At the
<v Speaker 1>beginning of anthesis, the liquid is probably pumped into the
<v Speaker 1>two ducts of each staminode and helps the curled staminodes
<v Speaker 1>to become stretched and rigid so that they can function
<v Speaker 1>as osmophores emitting scent. The liquid exuded along the staminodes
<v Speaker 1>was found to contain sugars as male uglossene and meliponine.
<v Speaker 1>Bees occasionally collected liquids on the staminodes. Oh, this is interesting,
<v Speaker 1>so they're not this plant is benefiting other insects though
<v Speaker 1>they're not pollinating it, and just coming by to collect
<v Speaker 1>some of the sugars and other liquids that are being
<v Speaker 1>exuded by these staminodes. It is assumed that the liquid
<v Speaker 1>also transports other compounds into the osmophores. Moreover, the liquid
<v Speaker 1>is consumed by the pollinating or maybe they're collecting scent
<v Speaker 1>I suppose. Moreover, the liquid is consumed by the pollinating
<v Speaker 1>and non pollinating beetles. Cross Sections of staminodes revealed that
<v Speaker 1>the u selage like liquid is accumulated between the parentkama
<v Speaker 1>cells and in the epidermis cells. However, it is not
<v Speaker 1>clear how it is secreted. The surface of the staminodes
<v Speaker 1>is roughly corrugated, which seems to be an enlargement of
<v Speaker 1>the liquid secreting area characteristics which are often found in
<v Speaker 1>scent emitting surfaces. God, this is weird, though, this is so,
<v Speaker 1>this is very complex. This is a very complex pollination system.
<v Speaker 1>The staminate flowers are used as ovipositioned sites by the
<v Speaker 1>pollinating weavils, which is not at all harmful for the plant,
<v Speaker 1>since staminate flowers are dispensable after an thesis. There you go, right,
<v Speaker 1>they're just stunt cocks. Get rid of them. They're just dumb,
<v Speaker 1>dumb males dime a dozen. So the stamens are falling
<v Speaker 1>off anyway, it doesn't matter that they've had eggs deposited
<v Speaker 1>in them. Frans two thousand and seven discovered that eggs
<v Speaker 1>laid on pistolate flowers did not survive when the infratessence
<v Speaker 1>is matured, successfully resulting in reduced risk for the weavils
<v Speaker 1>to lay eggs and staminate flowers they drop soon after
<v Speaker 1>an thesis, and most cyclith species but still provide the
<v Speaker 1>eggs and larvae a medium in wish to continue their
<v Speaker 1>development in the leaf litter. So the stamens fall off
<v Speaker 1>and then with the eggs in them, and then and
<v Speaker 1>uh and uh, and then the larva just continue their
<v Speaker 1>development and the leaf litter. It's that's nice. This is
<v Speaker 1>nice that this is working out for everybody. Everybody's we're
<v Speaker 1>making it work. When the eggs are laid in staminate flowers,
<v Speaker 1>the larva developed within two weeks. There are also records
<v Speaker 1>showing some species of Acalyptiny to have ovipositive successfully and
<v Speaker 1>pistolate flowers of Carludovica palmata with larva and pupe developing
<v Speaker 1>and the pulp of the berries without significantly damaging the seeds.
<v Speaker 1>It's nice. They're just eating the fleshy stuff around the seeds.
<v Speaker 1>They're not, you know, they're in a harmless seeds. The
<v Speaker 1>composition of nutrients in the flower organs is quite variable,
<v Speaker 1>and both species study the highest energy content was found
<v Speaker 1>in the staminodes and or staminate flowers. Perhaps the choice
<v Speaker 1>of the visiting beetles use staminodes and staminate flowers for
<v Speaker 1>ovipositing is an additional adaptation to utilize the flower organs
<v Speaker 1>with the highest energy content. Uh God, what a fucking
<v Speaker 1>you know. You don't got to read the whole paper
<v Speaker 1>of some of these things, but it's definitely worth perusing.
<v Speaker 1>Through it, you know, on a again on an app
<v Speaker 1>like read Era or something, and then highlight uh, you know,
<v Speaker 1>in quotes. You could you know that app allows you
<v Speaker 1>to quote quote something just by highlighting it and then
<v Speaker 1>selecting quote. But I do all this stuff on my phone. Man,
<v Speaker 1>it is there's some really it's really useful. Shit. You
<v Speaker 1>stand in line somewhere or you got you know, you're
<v Speaker 1>trying to kill time at your job in a bathroom
<v Speaker 1>on an extended shipbreak or something. Read read plant systematics,
<v Speaker 1>Read a paper you're downloading, Read a you know, a
<v Speaker 1>pirated PDF textbook or something. You know I'd be asking questions.
<v Speaker 1>Stimulate your mind anyway, I digress. The non pollinating staminode
<v Speaker 1>cutting and floorivorous beetles seem to take advantage of a
<v Speaker 1>well functioning beetle pollination system. However, without disturbing the pollination.
<v Speaker 1>The ephemeral staminodes are only important at the very be
<v Speaker 1>getting of anthesis and emitting scent to attract beetles and
<v Speaker 1>provide nourishment for them. After attraction and upon arrival of
<v Speaker 1>the beatles, the staminodes lose their main importance for the plant.
<v Speaker 1>Thus the additional destruction of staminodes by predatory beetles seems harmless.
<v Speaker 1>God damn it. So that what I saw when I
<v Speaker 1>saw this a splendia species flowering those white the staminodes,
<v Speaker 1>I didn't appreciate that those were only gonna last for
<v Speaker 1>a day or two. I should have really taken a
<v Speaker 1>whiff and seen what they smelled like. I did. I
<v Speaker 1>wonder if I recorded a video, but I didn't. I
<v Speaker 1>wasn't really aware of how fucking cool this lineage was.
<v Speaker 1>God damn it. Now I'm interested, you know. Now I
<v Speaker 1>want to grow these things so I can study them.
<v Speaker 1>Is are there any university greenhouses out there in the
<v Speaker 1>United States studying any members of cyclant they see? God,
<v Speaker 1>you know, university greenhouses. I feel like used to used
<v Speaker 1>to stock all all this weird shit from all over
<v Speaker 1>the world, weird plants, and they don't do it anymore.
<v Speaker 1>There's no funding. There's no funding for that. What does
<v Speaker 1>it do? What's the benefit? Why do we want to do?
<v Speaker 1>What's what's the point of that? With The point is
<v Speaker 1>knowledge in creating a more educated and aware and uh
<v Speaker 1>you know, enlightened, populous and just excited about life. A
<v Speaker 1>population of people that's excited about life and can see
<v Speaker 1>it firsthand and study. It doesn't matter if it's already
<v Speaker 1>been done or whatever it's I mean, this is why
<v Speaker 1>institutions like misera botanical garden, which has one of these
<v Speaker 1>a member of his family, are so important to have around,
<v Speaker 1>and it makes me worried for the future because administrators
<v Speaker 1>and the business elite are always in their fucking depoperate mindset,
<v Speaker 1>are always looking for ways to defund things like this
<v Speaker 1>because they seem they deem them useless, They deem that
<v Speaker 1>there's no benefit. You're enriching, you're populous, so that you
<v Speaker 1>don't end up with a population of dummies. Right in
<v Speaker 1>the fact fact that countries like China do fund these things.
<v Speaker 1>For all the eels you could say about China, the
<v Speaker 1>fact they do fund things like this, right there doesn't
<v Speaker 1>need to be it doesn't need not everything has to
<v Speaker 1>make money or be a profiteering enterprise somehow. The fact
<v Speaker 1>that China does do things like this is why they're beating,
<v Speaker 1>why they're beating the US, and why the US is
<v Speaker 1>just getting dumber and dumber and dumber every fucking year.
<v Speaker 1>So you end up electing these cartoon reality TV showmen
<v Speaker 1>fucking frauds with this ketamine induced pet Imagine Trump holding
<v Speaker 1>Eline and a little fucking gimp outfit, right with the
<v Speaker 1>little caddiers and shit, some real six shit. I'm not
<v Speaker 1>a I can't stand furries, right, Well, I guess this
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be for you. They're not furries. Would be vinyl?
<v Speaker 1>This would be like black black vinyl? Right? Or would
<v Speaker 1>it be the other way around? What it be? Elon
<v Speaker 1>holding Trump? I don't know. They're both fucking morons. They're
<v Speaker 1>both fucking retards. You could say retard. No right, I'm gonna.
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna. I'm gonna really dive headlong into that. Got
<v Speaker 1>it just again, all enabled by how deranged the left got,
<v Speaker 1>the modern American left, the identitarian left. It's so sad.
<v Speaker 1>I don't understand. I just shit on people repeatedly and
<v Speaker 1>told them they were privileged and and and condescended to
<v Speaker 1>them and morally spoke down to them and told them
<v Speaker 1>how terrible of a person that they were. I can't
<v Speaker 1>understand why they went to the other side and became fascist.
<v Speaker 1>Jesus Christ, rich kids, you know, just isolated from reality
<v Speaker 1>and from the working class. Just no clue how this works.
<v Speaker 1>Don't know how to be fucking nice on how to
<v Speaker 1>be humble, don't know how to reach out to people
<v Speaker 1>and have fun, loosen up, unpucker, laugh at things, et cetera.
<v Speaker 1>You know, just don't know how to fucking organize, don't
<v Speaker 1>know how to you know, see again, this is a
<v Speaker 1>this was all I don't know. Maybe it was a
<v Speaker 1>sy op. Who knows. I'm sorry, we're going there again.
<v Speaker 1>Let's look at this other paper on cyclant theacy. Then
<v Speaker 1>I'll let you go. I'm amazed if you even still listening.
<v Speaker 1>Maybe you're you're you're in a wood shop or something.
<v Speaker 1>You got this on a podcast and you just don't
<v Speaker 1>You're just too lazy to change it. I don't know,
<v Speaker 1>I don't fucking know. What are you doing? Why are
<v Speaker 1>you still listening to this? The ads are normally pretty bad.
<v Speaker 1>Hopefully you sign up for the patren Okay, let's go
<v Speaker 1>over here to Gottsburger. Is that his name, Gerhard Gottsberger,
<v Speaker 1>Gunther Gunther, Gunther, Gottfried? What is his name? Oh, Gerhard Gottsberger. Sorry, girheart,
<v Speaker 1>I'm not making funny, okay. Amongst this is a pollination
<v Speaker 1>of some species of the Carludo vicoidi which is that
<v Speaker 1>other subfamily, and remarks on the origin and evolution of
<v Speaker 1>the cyclant these. Among cyclant these, Carludo vicoidy from Amazonian
<v Speaker 1>Peru to a splendid species of Vodianthus funifera we already
<v Speaker 1>touched on a Vodianthus, and Carludo Vika palmata were shown
<v Speaker 1>to be canthro Fhilus. This is beetle pollinated. Can't theo filus? Right?
<v Speaker 1>Whereas and Tamophilus is insect pollinated? Anamophilus is wind wind pollinated? Uh?
<v Speaker 1>Caranthophilus is that? Is it caranthophilus or is it what's
<v Speaker 1>the what's the what's the bat pollination? Chiropterophilus for Chiroptera,
<v Speaker 1>there's scientific order of bats. Excuse me, I apologize. So anyway, Uh,
<v Speaker 1>Canthophilus just just pollination? Cross pollination by beetles thought to
<v Speaker 1>be one of the oldest forms of insect pollination. Psychads
<v Speaker 1>were doing this early Cretaceous, probably in a Jurassic All right,
<v Speaker 1>So let's see what is this. It's in good photos
<v Speaker 1>in here. Yeah. The pistolate flowers are tetramerius and tricyclic
<v Speaker 1>with one perianth whirl one whirl of staminodes and one
<v Speaker 1>of carpals. Oh wow, that's the Really you got to
<v Speaker 1>get in there and dissect these things to see it.
<v Speaker 1>And again you he's got this nice picture of these
<v Speaker 1>staminodes popping out of these little holes in what is
<v Speaker 1>otherwise looks like a potato that is just comprived like
<v Speaker 1>a wardy potato, and the wartz are just the unopened stamens,
<v Speaker 1>and then the female flowers are deep in there. Does
<v Speaker 1>he have any any dissections here to what the female
<v Speaker 1>flowers look like? No? But oh there's a two. There's
<v Speaker 1>two post pistolate stages of the inflorescence. A splendid proviana.
<v Speaker 1>Ooh male, you glassy and be hit ennick clinging on
<v Speaker 1>the fragrance staminodes. Oh this is? This is on a
<v Speaker 1>up there, Yes, C and D inflorescence without staminodes. During
<v Speaker 1>the second morning, shortly before the beetles fly away, this
<v Speaker 1>is the staminods have already fallen off and it's going
<v Speaker 1>into the male phase. The beetles are eating pollen and mating.
<v Speaker 1>What a life. D and inflorescence the second day, after
<v Speaker 1>the beatles have left, the male flowers are withering and shrinking,
<v Speaker 1>and the four stigmatic press of the female flowers become visible.
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, so after the stamens fall off, that's when
<v Speaker 1>they get this really cool, beautiful spiral cone shape to them,
<v Speaker 1>with these like these little squares or diamonds spiraling around
<v Speaker 1>this rod. Let's see what else though? Is this? What? What?
<v Speaker 1>What is this? What? If the cyclant they see are
<v Speaker 1>indeed pollinated by beetles only, as all the observations up
<v Speaker 1>to now available indicate this is an earlier paper, they
<v Speaker 1>are pollinated by beetles only, it would be the only
<v Speaker 1>exclusively Canthrophilus family among monocatleitans. Because I think some aeroid
<v Speaker 1>I mean, obviously aeroids are not entirely beetle pollinated, but
<v Speaker 1>I believe all of I believe all the cyclants are.
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious to know. I'm curious to know. The fruits
<v Speaker 1>are certain some of the fruits are certainly dispersed by birds.
<v Speaker 1>The whole infuit tessens on you know, Carludo Vika Palmond
<v Speaker 1>of the Panama hat plant. Once it's done, I mean,
<v Speaker 1>you can see the yellow scales, these tetramerius foresighted yellow scales,
<v Speaker 1>which were the female flowers. But then and then that's
<v Speaker 1>on the outside and then as the whole infro testins
<v Speaker 1>kind of unfurls from the top down. It's got this
<v Speaker 1>bright red color to it, certainly attracting birds. Oh yeah,
<v Speaker 1>absolutely looks like it. Two tons of tiny seeds. It's
<v Speaker 1>basically these these orange berries, these four lobed orange berries
<v Speaker 1>containing many seeds which are bird dispersed. God, what a
<v Speaker 1>fucking cool family. I want to grow one of these now,
<v Speaker 1>you know, just in a pot out here in South Texas.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it could handle the aridity, and
<v Speaker 1>need to. I got misters, you know, start my own
<v Speaker 1>little botany lab greenhouse. Who's great. Seriously, if you go
<v Speaker 1>to a if you got like a good university greenhouse,
<v Speaker 1>which you probably don't because it's the US, and uh,
<v Speaker 1>these aren't just these just aren't a thing anymore. The
<v Speaker 1>funds are being cut everywhere. They're cutting or barrier and
<v Speaker 1>university greenhouses. But if you are and you have some
<v Speaker 1>of these specimens, reach out to me, right if you
<v Speaker 1>maybe I'll come visit, maybe I'll come lurk, or maybe
<v Speaker 1>you could just preserve an old flower or something, dry
<v Speaker 1>it out and send me some of old inflorescence. I
<v Speaker 1>would love to get some decent dried or barium specimens
<v Speaker 1>of some of the members of cyclanth they say, what
<v Speaker 1>a fucking cool family. Jesus Christ, and I had no idea,
<v Speaker 1>what so species rich. It's amazing you can be into
<v Speaker 1>something for so long and still learn so many new things.
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's not amazing. That's that's the way the
<v Speaker 1>world works. I guess with a lot of things. But
<v Speaker 1>I had no idea this family even existed until you know,
<v Speaker 1>a year or two ago, and then also knowing it's
<v Speaker 1>in Pandinales and related. The weird ass families like the
<v Speaker 1>velozi ace. God, you want to talk if you're into
<v Speaker 1>like xeric plants, dry land plants, velosi Ace is fucking
<v Speaker 1>wild one of the few families of plants that contain
<v Speaker 1>members that can completely dry out just like ferns and
<v Speaker 1>some mosses, or just like some ferns and mosses and
<v Speaker 1>come back to life a resurrection plant, right, just like
<v Speaker 1>miro Faminis, which is in the gunner Alis another weirdo
<v Speaker 1>from the mibia. But not many, not many angiosperms can
<v Speaker 1>can do that, but the Velosia see a lot of
<v Speaker 1>members of Alosias can I sell a lot of alosias
<v Speaker 1>in Brazil and there was some. Really, what is the
<v Speaker 1>what there's a genus in Africa that can do the
<v Speaker 1>same thing. My friend Kiamara was obsessed with for a while.
<v Speaker 1>Another another quote, resurrection plant Zerophyta, which is in eastern
<v Speaker 1>southern Africa and Madagascar. It goes on, it goes on
<v Speaker 1>up at the Kenya too. I guess you gets some
<v Speaker 1>in Namibia got a very species rich genus zero Phyt
<v Speaker 1>with the Z again, we're talking about the genus Zerophyta,
<v Speaker 1>family velosiace, the family of resurrection plants with incredibly beautiful
<v Speaker 1>flowers too. From the New World Tropics Old World Tropics
<v Speaker 1>order Pandinales, the screw pine order. How many other families
<v Speaker 1>are in Pandinales? What is it? Five cyclant a c
<v Speaker 1>Pandinace steam on ac. Never heard of it, stemo ace triuridece.
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, there's some fucking micoheterotrophs in that family Triuris.
<v Speaker 1>Jesus Christ, Oh, this order is so fucking cool man.
<v Speaker 1>I had no idea. And then velosi a C so
<v Speaker 1>cyclant a c Pandinace steam on a C, TRIURIDEC and
<v Speaker 1>Veolosi AC pandinace. I saw pandanus in in Uh the
<v Speaker 1>screw pines. I don't know why they call them pines.
<v Speaker 1>They don't look anything like a pine let alone a conifer. Well,
<v Speaker 1>I guess the cone, the infratestens of kind of like
<v Speaker 1>a cone looks like a pineapple. So those in New Caledonia.
<v Speaker 1>So those again, there's like an old world tropic family pen.
<v Speaker 1>You know, there's probably I think does Garfield Park Conservatory
<v Speaker 1>have any pandanus members? Probably? So you can travel the
<v Speaker 1>world learning about botany without ever leaving the shitty US.
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, I trying to dog on here too much.
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's shitty everywhere you go. How do you
<v Speaker 1>keep a positive out look? Hey, you know it's shitty
<v Speaker 1>everywhere you go. I'm sorry, but it really is. You know,
<v Speaker 1>you say, it's what we do is humans. We're not
<v Speaker 1>enlightened yet. We'll beat her one day, hopefully, if we
<v Speaker 1>don't go extinct. But but you know, it's a different
<v Speaker 1>flavor of poison everywhere. California, Texas. They both suck in
<v Speaker 1>our own way. Okay, but my point is you can
<v Speaker 1>travel the world. This is the point of conservatories. If
<v Speaker 1>you have one around you. I suggest you go find
<v Speaker 1>it out right, and if they got shipped like Nandina
<v Speaker 1>domestica planted in the glasshouses, I would you should, really,
<v Speaker 1>you know, beg them to get rid of that home
<v Speaker 1>depot garbage and put in some members of pandanal some
<v Speaker 1>of the more weird and rare plants from around the world. Right, Well, network,
<v Speaker 1>we'll get your seeds, you give it to them, you
<v Speaker 1>grow it yourself, whatever the fucking then donate it to
<v Speaker 1>the greenhouse. I was in a greenhouse in Columbus, Ohio,
<v Speaker 1>when Al and I were on tour last year, and
<v Speaker 1>it was God, it was so depressing. It was like
<v Speaker 1>that you could be showing people such interesting things and
<v Speaker 1>they had like it was like it was like some
<v Speaker 1>Hallmark wife got in there and designed the greenhouses, and
<v Speaker 1>it was just it was home depot garbage. It looked
<v Speaker 1>like the inside of a floral boutique from the seventies,
<v Speaker 1>like the oh God, it's just you know, you got
<v Speaker 1>this opportunity to show people the diversity of Earth's plant life,
<v Speaker 1>the diversity of the living world, and you're planting horticultural
<v Speaker 1>atrocities like Nandina domestica and English ivy and a glasshouse.
<v Speaker 1>It's that's that's shit for old ladies, no offense for
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. You know what I mean.
<v Speaker 1>There's some dope old ladies out there. There's some you know,
<v Speaker 1>old ladies that will stab you in a head with
<v Speaker 1>something rusty. There's old ladies out there who are still
<v Speaker 1>taking acid, you know what I mean. I'm talking about
<v Speaker 1>the genteels right right, the stiffs, the citizens, right, That's
<v Speaker 1>what I'm talking about. The people that would see a
<v Speaker 1>place like that with that kind of plant selection and
<v Speaker 1>be like, this is lovely, this is beautiful. Whereas I'm
<v Speaker 1>going in there and I'm like, oh my god, this
<v Speaker 1>I just want to puke. I feel this is making
<v Speaker 1>people dumber. This is missed opportunity. I'm not hating on
<v Speaker 1>anybody for it, but Jesus christ Man, come on, there's
<v Speaker 1>so much you can get people excited about the world.
<v Speaker 1>This is like teaching a geology class, and instead of
<v Speaker 1>being excited and explaining concepts in the geologic timescale and
<v Speaker 1>how could be used philosophically to make you feel better
<v Speaker 1>about the terrible things you might see in the world,
<v Speaker 1>or just get excited about having an understanding of things
<v Speaker 1>like plate tectonics and how they explain current distribute shoodents,
<v Speaker 1>distributions of animals and plants. You're up there talking, you know,
<v Speaker 1>like like a seventy year old, you know, suffering from
<v Speaker 1>an autoimmune disorder, who's on coludes, you know, just boring
<v Speaker 1>people to death. It's just the missed opportunity. And that's
<v Speaker 1>what that's my main beef with those kinds of gardens.
<v Speaker 1>And also it just exudes more of the culture of
<v Speaker 1>the lawn. The same mindset that brought us the lawn
<v Speaker 1>is that like, plants are just supposed to be attractive.
<v Speaker 1>There's no ecological context, there's no being tied to a place,
<v Speaker 1>there's no effects of natural selection sculpting the morphology or
<v Speaker 1>the phytochemistry or the pollination systems of a plant. They're
<v Speaker 1>just supposed to be attractive and beautiful and green and hmmm,
<v Speaker 1>a nice backdrop for a wedding makes me want to die.
<v Speaker 1>It makes me want to drink my own piss, and
<v Speaker 1>then I'm gonna drink some draino. So anyway, I know,
<v Speaker 1>we get to talking about this. But anyway, pandinales the
<v Speaker 1>screw pine order, They're fucking incredible. Look up and You
<v Speaker 1>can explore some of this diversity on I Naturalist if
<v Speaker 1>you have an Apple phone. The I natural staff sucks.
<v Speaker 1>Hopefully they improve it. I don't know if they're going to,
<v Speaker 1>but just go to the website instead. The website is
<v Speaker 1>where it's at, and be sure to explore the taxonomy.
<v Speaker 1>There's so much good shit you can explore on our Naturalist.
<v Speaker 1>I'm tired of fucking repeating this. Nobody's listening to me.
<v Speaker 1>All the dumb shit you look at on your phone.
<v Speaker 1>You can explore Earth's diversity and look at some of
<v Speaker 1>these weird fucking forms as well, like the order pandinals
<v Speaker 1>and the families. It's like a choose your inn adventure
<v Speaker 1>books like plant ac pandinac. I'm gonna read about steam
<v Speaker 1>and as the fucking steam and ac. Where does it occur?
<v Speaker 1>Where's the distribution? Then you can click on the map
<v Speaker 1>link look at where it's distributed. Oh, I see it's
<v Speaker 1>Southeast Asia. It's tropical Asia. How about that? Never heard
<v Speaker 1>of this family before? What the fuck is in it?
<v Speaker 1>It's got a link to the Wikipedia page taxonomy. I
<v Speaker 1>could see there's four genera in the families Steam and Ace,
<v Speaker 1>Stemona sticio neuron cromia. What they look like. They look bizarre.
<v Speaker 1>Another cool family of monocons. Right, but let's look at
<v Speaker 1>I want to go back to this. I'll let you
<v Speaker 1>go here. You can get off the phone. You can
<v Speaker 1>get off the phone with me in a minute, because
<v Speaker 1>this is like a phone call. It's like we're having
<v Speaker 1>a phone call. And I'm I'm lecturing you, right, I'm
<v Speaker 1>I'm like the Tony Santaura. I'm like the exasperated one
<v Speaker 1>foot in the grave fifty year old West Side Chicago
<v Speaker 1>geriatric Italian crooning about how nice the Austin neighborhood used
<v Speaker 1>to be. But you don't want to hear him go
<v Speaker 1>on at because it's probably going to turn into a
<v Speaker 1>racist brand. Right, That's what a lot of these fucking
<v Speaker 1>old wops do. They all I don't know how they
<v Speaker 1>did it, right, but they all turn like racist, old
<v Speaker 1>fucking right wingers. It's so depressing, it's so predictable. Don't
<v Speaker 1>Why do you want to be a Why do you
<v Speaker 1>want to be someone's prediction of what you're gonna be?
<v Speaker 1>You know, you see an old I see an old
<v Speaker 1>Italian and I'm like, this is a guy who forgot
<v Speaker 1>his roots. Who you know, wanted to be white so bad,
<v Speaker 1>turned a little racist, started saying stupid shit, it's a
<v Speaker 1>very narrow perspective and the reality of the human world
<v Speaker 1>around him and probably voted for Trump. How depressing. I'm
<v Speaker 1>still gonna be nice to him. I'm sure he's got
<v Speaker 1>other elements of his personality that might be enjoyable, probably
<v Speaker 1>a decent sense of humor. Just don't get him talking
<v Speaker 1>about politics or ideology, because it's gonna be fucking predictable
<v Speaker 1>and you're gonna realize he's a moron on that front,
<v Speaker 1>just on that front, and uh, it's gonna it might
<v Speaker 1>taint your appreciation for other aspects of because here's what
<v Speaker 1>we gotta do. You no lecture people and then you
<v Speaker 1>just hope they change. You start slipping it in You
<v Speaker 1>befriend these people, and you start slipping it in there
<v Speaker 1>this shit, you know, it's how you change people. You know,
<v Speaker 1>lecture that my line, and it's like really fucked up.
<v Speaker 1>What you're doing is actually really fucked up. Okay, So
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. Here we go. Family trier a day. See
<v Speaker 1>how many genera e genera is the whole family. Microheterotrophic
<v Speaker 1>is the whole family. Micro they look like it. I
<v Speaker 1>don't see any chlorophyll in any of the photographs I'm
<v Speaker 1>seeing as a species in here, God damn it. And
<v Speaker 1>I only heard about this family when I look at
<v Speaker 1>one of those Field Museum ped of God, it looks
<v Speaker 1>fucking weird. Jesus, it's so cool? Are those seeds in
<v Speaker 1>this tiny tiny thing? Not a drop of green in
<v Speaker 1>any of these photos? One of them looks like arach nitis. God,
<v Speaker 1>tri rid deci is gymnocit, No Gymno. Sciphon's in another
<v Speaker 1>family genus Cahansia, Kupia, Lacendonia, Peltophylum, Syaphila, Sauridium triidopsis. Let's
<v Speaker 1>see where's the distribution at? Yeah, yeah, Southeast Asia, Central
<v Speaker 1>and South America, Madagascar, God damn it. And I have
<v Speaker 1>not seen any of them. And there are plants that
<v Speaker 1>parasitize fungi. What the fuck? Another family i've i've I
<v Speaker 1>had never heard of until I sawt at Field Museum,
<v Speaker 1>PDA Field Museum in Chicago. Maybe I'll go there next
<v Speaker 1>week when I'm in town for the Wild Things conference,
<v Speaker 1>which is going on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And yeah,
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. It should be that should be a
<v Speaker 1>fun experience. I wonder if they'll give us a table
<v Speaker 1>for me and now to sell some merch. You know,
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of there's a lot of easy you know,
<v Speaker 1>it could be academic stuff over there. It could be
<v Speaker 1>people giving pd you know, PDF presentations, PowerPoint presentations, Google
<v Speaker 1>sights presentations about all kinds of important stuff that they're
<v Speaker 1>noticing in the world. And then they're gonna have me
<v Speaker 1>running my mouth and talking, so uh, you know, let's
<v Speaker 1>hope they don't regret it. I think, I think though,
<v Speaker 1>I think it'll be nice. Okay, I'll end it there.
<v Speaker 1>Please check out the order pandinales. I hope, I hope
<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed that last forty minutes of ranting about the
<v Speaker 1>family cyclan thesy and they're bizarre beetle pollination syndrome, which
<v Speaker 1>is are there again? Do we know is the family
<v Speaker 1>cyclant thes exclusively beatle pollinated or what? Because that's pretty uh,
<v Speaker 1>it's pretty interesting if so, is it exclusively can't throw
<v Speaker 1>filets anyway? Palms cyclantesy some rants about you know, horrible
<v Speaker 1>songs incurred as some sort of divine retribution on the
<v Speaker 1>United States, as this episode covered everything. I'm gonna have
<v Speaker 1>Thorn Scrub Sanctuary shirts for sale forty bucks shipping included.
<v Speaker 1>It's actually not that bad, right considering it's like a
<v Speaker 1>five color screenprint next month. You can email me if
<v Speaker 1>you want them. All donations will go strictly to Thorn Scrub.
<v Speaker 1>Everything everything we make goes towards Thorn Scrub, towards getting
<v Speaker 1>us a well, towards setting up fencing, shooting pigs, et cetera.
<v Speaker 1>And don't hesitate to look at those bugs. All right,
<v Speaker 1>I know it's still frigid up there for some of
<v Speaker 1>you in the Nordon latitudes. I get a prey present
<v Speaker 1>to a bunch of Canadians last night. Three hundred people
<v Speaker 1>showed up for an online presentation and we had a
<v Speaker 1>great time. It was really fun. You know Canadians are
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's a very very pleasant group. The question
<v Speaker 1>and answer session was fun, it was. It was a nice,
<v Speaker 1>nice time. I'm giving a couple other presentations. I'm gonna
<v Speaker 1>be in the Atlanta area, uh one of the last
<v Speaker 1>weeks of April. Maybe we'll do a plant walk, maybe
<v Speaker 1>we'll do some stuff out there. I don't know what's
<v Speaker 1>going on, you know, we're gonna be in northern Georgia,
<v Speaker 1>And what else am I doing? I forget what I
<v Speaker 1>signed up for. I forget people where I asked me
<v Speaker 1>to come to these spots. I forget what I'm doing.
<v Speaker 1>Even I'm doing something in Austin in June. I forget.
<v Speaker 1>I forget. I forget a lot of this stuff. I
<v Speaker 1>gotta start planning the trips of where I'm going to
<v Speaker 1>be going this summer, after I can get this fucking
<v Speaker 1>book done too, which I god damn it, I can't
<v Speaker 1>wait to not have to look at uh Google docs
<v Speaker 1>anymore for hours on on every day. Okay, that's all.
<v Speaker 1>I got to have a grocery day, And please won't
<v Speaker 1>you go fund yourself by