Navigating Divorce and Discovering Purpose

Darrell Snow
00:00:00
Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, the show where the inner warrior shines in their light.
Darrell Snow
00:00:06
Brought to you by Praxis 33, the company that aligns your thoughts, goals and actions to create your best life.
Darrell Snow
00:00:12
I'm your host, Darrell Snow and today we're going to be talking with Julie Laughlin.
Darrell Snow
00:00:16
Julie is a publisher of the book Surrender to Rise, which is an anthology book of inspiring stories of women across the US and she's also an inspirational motivational speaker and she wants to focus on more love and kindness in the world through sharing stories of overcoming.
Darrell Snow
00:00:37
Julie, thank you for joining us.
Julie Laughlin
00:00:39
Thank you, Darrell, so much for having me.
Julie Laughlin
00:00:41
I'm excited that we are able to connect.
Julie Laughlin
00:00:43
This is great.
Darrell Snow
00:00:44
Well, I appreciate you doing this.
Darrell Snow
00:00:45
Yeah, that's quite an impressive bio.
Darrell Snow
00:00:48
One thing that I didn't mention, you also co founded a financial planning capital.
Darrell Snow
00:00:57
It's called Capital, excuse me, Breathe Capital Planning and Consulting, correct?
Julie Laughlin
00:01:03
Yes.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:03
We actually have two companies under the main llc.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:06
Breathe Capital Planning is designed for financial advising and it's a fiduciary practice.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:12
So we work under a best interest standard.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:14
And then Breathe Capital Consulting is a business consulting company.
Darrell Snow
00:01:17
Okay.
Darrell Snow
00:01:18
And what I mean as a motivational speaker myself and someone who's this show is all about inspirational stories.
Darrell Snow
00:01:26
So what got you from financial planning to inspirational speaking?
Darrell Snow
00:01:32
Where did that all kind of go in?
Julie Laughlin
00:01:35
It's interesting about.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:38
Gosh, it's been three years ago now, Darrell.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:40
I can't believe it.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:41
It seems like time is going really, really fast.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:43
But about three years ago now I was contacted by a group of people that were putting together an event in Niagara Falls and they wanted to talk to me about my story.
Julie Laughlin
00:01:56
They had heard about my story from some other people and they said we think that you would really enjoy this and you'd be great on stage.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:04
So they invited me to the event and it was my first time talking about my personal journey and my transformation in my life from leaving big corporate to starting my own business and also leaving a 12 year divorce.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:22
And it was the very first time that I had really talked about my personal journey.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:27
I had often times been on stage for big corporations that I was working for, talking about either their product or a service that we were offering.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:37
But it was really truly the very first time that I talked about what I would call my big pivot in life where I decided that my career and my home life no longer meshed just wasn't working out for me.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:52
I was traveling a lot.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:54
I had just gotten divorced and I had a 7 year old son at the time.
Julie Laughlin
00:02:59
I'm trying to think back, I have to go in my timeline to think back of how many years ago this was quite a few years ago now because my son is 19 and he'll be graduating soon and he's a full grown man.
Julie Laughlin
00:03:11
But I have to go back in time to think about what was my life like then, what was I going through, what was I experiencing and the things that I was experiencing, Darrell, was an awakening where I realized that what I was doing, getting on a plane every Monday, coming back every Thursday, was just not conducive to being a single mom.
Darrell Snow
00:03:32
Were you doing that in the corporate world?
Darrell Snow
00:03:35
Was that for finances as well?
Darrell Snow
00:03:37
Were you a corporate executive?
Julie Laughlin
00:03:39
Actually, no, I was like a territory manager, but was doing some higher level consulting and succession work for large scale distributors, going from one generation to another, or packaging up what they had and selling it to another entity, if you will.
Julie Laughlin
00:03:58
We were very involved in it.
Julie Laughlin
00:04:01
And a lot of times I had a lot of resources at my disposal because I worked for one of, can't really say the name, but I worked for one of the world's billionaires at the time.
Julie Laughlin
00:04:11
And I was able to have a lot of things at my discretion where I could call a lawyer in New York and get advice.
Julie Laughlin
00:04:18
I could call the CPAs in New Jersey and say, hey, here's what we're thinking.
Julie Laughlin
00:04:22
This client's thinking about doing.
Julie Laughlin
00:04:24
Can you help me structure this, help me work this out?
Julie Laughlin
00:04:27
And because I was managing such a large sales channel, if you will, with a lot of volume, I had a lot of discretionary and a lot of ways to help my clients to make sure that our sales still stayed in alignment.
Julie Laughlin
00:04:41
Even if it went from one generation to the next or if it got sold, we were in position that they would still want to work with our product.
Darrell Snow
00:04:48
So when you, I mean, that's a pretty extensive job.
Darrell Snow
00:04:53
And yeah, when you think of the world of finance and, you know, all of what you just described, you don't typically think of females being at the top of that food chain.
Darrell Snow
00:05:07
So was it kind of a struggle getting up to that food chain?
Darrell Snow
00:05:12
Were you already there when you met your husband or did you grow there as you were married?
Julie Laughlin
00:05:16
Yeah, yeah, My husband and I have been together since I was, gosh, gosh, I think 23 years old.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:24
So I was, for a little bit, I had my own business in like cosmetics, believe it or not.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:32
And that just wasn't what I thought it was going to be.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:35
So then I started.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:37
I actually started in telecommunications.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:39
My Very first job out of school was actually in cellular sales, which was incredibly lucrative in the early 90s.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:47
I'm dating myself now, but how old I am, and very successful in that endeavor.
Julie Laughlin
00:05:53
I stayed in telecom for about six years and then I went to work for some consulting firms where I actually became someone that trained salespeople in how to execute well and how to sell and also customer service.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:08
So those were things that I would train and deliver.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:15
Corporations, big, big sales entities and big customer service companies.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:21
There was great experience and then, you know, got into outside construction sales.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:29
I know this sounds crazy, but my ex husband is involved in that business.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:33
And I was at a crossroads in my life at this time and I thought, well, maybe I could go into neurological device sales for neurosurgeons.
Darrell Snow
00:06:45
Wow.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:46
And I had a really incredible interview with Johnson and Johnson was going to take the job, but I had to go to New Jersey for an entire year to train to be able to sell these devices to neurosurgeons.
Julie Laughlin
00:06:58
And my ex husband just didn't like that idea.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:01
So he kind of went on a campaign to find me a position in kind of like an outside sales position in construction.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:08
I did very, very well.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:10
I was probably one of the only women in that category.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:14
And I was selling to most of New York and parts of New England in my first, in my first job, I was second selling secondary heating appliances is where I started.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:26
And then I got into a different channel of just different, different items in regards to construction, residential and commercial.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:36
I was in distribution and I had a lot of experience, then went right into a manufacturing rep position and then kind of ended up where I was working for the big, the very big, big company.
Julie Laughlin
00:07:48
So you said.
Darrell Snow
00:07:49
But you've said a lot of things that, that go to your toughness and your character.
Darrell Snow
00:07:56
And first New Yorker.
Darrell Snow
00:07:59
Secondly, spending a year in New Jersey.
Darrell Snow
00:08:02
Thirdly, being in three male dominated industries and kicking ass in all of them.
Darrell Snow
00:08:10
I mean, that makes you a very powerful internally strong woman.
Darrell Snow
00:08:15
So how did, if you were already this way, how did that bleed over into the marriage?
Julie Laughlin
00:08:23
Yeah, I mean, we came to a crossroads in our marriage where it just wasn't working out.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:28
We weren't seeing eye to eye.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:30
And I could clearly see the writing on the wall that we were gonna butt heads for the rest of our lives.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:36
And I just told him I didn't think it was a good fit.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:38
I thought that we would be better off as friends.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:42
We had worked really hard to have our child.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:44
We'd gone through a lot.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:46
Honestly, Darrell, I had three Miscarriages that were really heartbreaking.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:51
And finally we were able to have our son who's like the light of both of our lives.
Julie Laughlin
00:08:57
But he and I just philosophically weren't aligned anymore.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:01
The way that we operate and the way that we see the world is different from each other.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:05
So I came to him and I said, hey, listen, I'm not feeling like you're listening to me.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:10
I'm not feeling like I'm being valued in this relationship, and I'm going to let you know now that I'm not going to stay in it.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:17
And it was very hard because we had built a whole life together.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:22
Our very first home in our marriage was one that we built from the ground up.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:27
At 20.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:27
At 25 years old.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:29
Yeah.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:29
So it was very, very hard.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:32
He's involved.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:33
He was in.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:33
He still is.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:34
And was at the time involved in a very successful family business.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:39
And we just decided that for us it made sense to part ways and try to remain really good co parents to our son.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:49
But it has not always been easy.
Julie Laughlin
00:09:51
Honestly, it took us some time and we had to both do our own, you know, healing work, if you will, to get through, you know, divorce isn't easy for anybody.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:02
I mean, there's a reality of splitting your assets and then there's a reality of the fact that your whole lifestyle changes for 95% of people.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:12
And I was blissfully aware of that.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:15
Like, my whole life changed.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:17
And I made an executive decision to not do what I see a lot of other women doing, which is try to maintain a lifestyle that I no longer could really maintain.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:28
So I kind of saw the radiant on the wall and went to a smaller home where I was able to purchase a townhome, but still have enough money to take care of myself and my son because there was nobody backing me up.
Darrell Snow
00:10:42
Again, that goes to your internal fortitude and your internal strengths.
Darrell Snow
00:10:48
Over.
Darrell Snow
00:10:49
It's almost 60% now.
Darrell Snow
00:10:51
60% of marriages end in divorce.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:53
Yeah, 64%.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:56
I know this, Darrell, because I specialize in helping people re.
Julie Laughlin
00:10:59
Establish after divorce.
Darrell Snow
00:11:00
And.
Darrell Snow
00:11:01
And so the odds of, you know, making it are hard anyway.
Darrell Snow
00:11:05
And then the odds of it being a happy marriage go down even further.
Darrell Snow
00:11:12
And then you add, you know, the surviving miscarriages, you know, sorry for.
Darrell Snow
00:11:21
For those losses.
Darrell Snow
00:11:22
Yeah.
Darrell Snow
00:11:23
But you add all of that into the mix, it does make it very challenging to navigate what is already hard waters to navigate, which is marriage.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:34
Yeah.
Darrell Snow
00:11:35
So, you know, are you and your husband amicable.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:39
Ex husband.
Darrell Snow
00:11:41
Ex husband.
Darrell Snow
00:11:41
Sorry.
Darrell Snow
00:11:41
Yes.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:42
He's definitely my ex husband.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:44
Has been for 12 years now, which is crazy to me, how much.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:47
How fast time goes.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:48
Yeah, we are.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:50
We are.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:50
He.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:52
My mom recently passed, and he actually.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:55
My dad had asked him to speak at my mom's memorial, so.
Julie Laughlin
00:11:59
And he was able to share some really funny, fun stories about times with my mom.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:04
Cause my mom was a character, and he's kind of a character.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:08
And so just some really happy memories he was able to share.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:12
He's very supportive of our son.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:16
He's very supportive of our son.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:18
He.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:18
And he's still very close to my brother and my father and my extended family.
Darrell Snow
00:12:23
Well, amicable divorces are much easier on the family than bitter divorces.
Darrell Snow
00:12:28
And sometimes, in my limited view of the world, sometimes I see that people actually do better after they're divorced and actually try to be civil than they do when they were married, trying to live together.
Darrell Snow
00:12:44
I even have one friend who is married, but they have two separate houses for that very reason.
Darrell Snow
00:12:51
They work better when they're not cohabitating, but they love each other enough to be married, you know, so that dynamic works for them.
Julie Laughlin
00:12:59
But you know what I say, whatever works for you.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:02
And it's not really for other people to judge because it's a very.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:06
It's a unique relationship.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:08
And I.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:09
Even as we're counseling and talking to clients about how they're managing their money, which is a big part of marriage, we try to come up with a system that works for both parties and something that's reasonable and where everyone is respected and felt heard.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:23
And I think that that's a huge part of marriage.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:26
If you can learn how to navigate and use your resources for the benefit of both parties, it's a huge thing.
Darrell Snow
00:13:34
Is in your expert opinion, and what you do is money and children.
Darrell Snow
00:13:42
Still, the two biggest reasons for the fights and the divorces.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:46
Money is a huge one, but I think a bigger one is lack of communication and lack of accountability.
Julie Laughlin
00:13:53
So, you know, communication is critical, but accountability really is where the rubber hits the road, which is if you.
Julie Laughlin
00:14:01
If something's really bothering your partner and they come to you and they say, hey, this is really bothering me, I need you to address it.
Julie Laughlin
00:14:07
It's important to me if you ignore that time and time again, that your partner no longer feels valued and heard, and eventually that will end a relationship.
Darrell Snow
00:14:20
I've been married 10 years this time, hopefully the final time.
Darrell Snow
00:14:26
But because we were independent so long, you know, from our first marriages, and then we had to survive on our own for that period of time before we met each other, it becomes Very stubborn, very sudden in our ways.
Darrell Snow
00:14:41
And communication is really something that we're still trying to improve on 10 years into it.
Darrell Snow
00:14:48
But we recognize is our biggest challenge because we hear it through the filter of our hurt in our past instead of the person who's in front of us now.
Darrell Snow
00:15:01
We forget that it's okay to lay down our sword.
Darrell Snow
00:15:05
We don't have to always be in battle mode because now we have someone who's actually there to support us and be with us.
Darrell Snow
00:15:11
But not only the communication, but being heard, because you can say a lot of things, which is talking and communication by definition, but being heard and understood is even more vital.
Julie Laughlin
00:15:26
It's really critical.
Julie Laughlin
00:15:27
Darrel and I would encourage anybody who's in a marriage, relationship, or any type of relationship.
Julie Laughlin
00:15:33
The one thing that kind of can break a stalemate is coming together with the commonality of a goal.
Julie Laughlin
00:15:39
Like what is your goal as a unit, as a couple, as a family?
Julie Laughlin
00:15:44
Once you kind of establish what are your guys goals, then it's like, what are the roles that we're each going to play in this to achieve this goal?
Julie Laughlin
00:15:52
I think when we can come together on a common goal, it can make things work much greater.
Julie Laughlin
00:16:01
And everyone plays a part in that achieving that goal.
Julie Laughlin
00:16:04
When you're working together as a team, it's very different than being two independent entities with no commonality.
Darrell Snow
00:16:12
It's funny how marriage and your corporate world both work the same way because the corporation definitely works better when everyone's on the same page, rowing the same boat in the same direction.
Darrell Snow
00:16:24
Team.
Darrell Snow
00:16:25
And it's the same in the household dynamics.
Darrell Snow
00:16:29
One of the things that happens, or at least it happened in my first marriage, my kids were biologically not mine.
Darrell Snow
00:16:37
So I came into it already being a dad.
Darrell Snow
00:16:41
But they understand really quickly that if mom and dad aren't on the same page, they're going to play each other off each other.
Darrell Snow
00:16:49
And that even causes more strife in the household.
Darrell Snow
00:16:53
So, you know, a unified front, being on the same page, doing things as a team.
Darrell Snow
00:16:59
I think it's critical for corporate and marriage.
Julie Laughlin
00:17:04
Yep.
Darrell Snow
00:17:06
When you co wrote this book, Surrender to Lies, what.
Darrell Snow
00:17:13
What's the essence of the book?
Darrell Snow
00:17:15
I know that we mentioned that it's, you know, inspiring stories from women across the US turning their strength into success, which is by definition what a warrior spirit's about.
Darrell Snow
00:17:26
I created this so people could turn their stories into inspirational messages.
Darrell Snow
00:17:31
But how did this book come about with you and Alaina?
Julie Laughlin
00:17:34
Yeah, so Alaina had been talking to me for about six months about Julie.
Julie Laughlin
00:17:39
I really think you know your story, my story, the other stories that we're hearing in the circle of women that we're connected to are so inspiring.
Julie Laughlin
00:17:48
And wouldn't it be incredible to have a collection of these stories in one book where people could be inspired?
Julie Laughlin
00:17:55
And it's a cathartic thing to do actually to write about your journey and the fact that you have experienced a healing and that you are in a different place because of the work that you've done.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:07
And that's exactly what it was for me and I think a lot of other people in this, in the anthology book, there's myself and I believe nine other women in our stories of overcoming, like incredible things.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:20
A little bit about what I've spoken to you about today, Darrell, is in the book, which is my pivot, you know, leaving.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:27
I'm going to just give you a quick little story about what really pushed me to make the decision I did to get out of corporate.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:34
It was my son's birthday actually, and I had to get on a plane to Texas.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:38
And when you have a job like the one I have, there's no backup plan.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:42
Like I ran that territory that's mine.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:45
And there's nobody that's going to like you.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:47
Don't call in sick if they say, hey, you're getting on a plane and you're going to Boston tomorrow.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:53
That's what you do because you have a big job and you've got a lot of responsibility.
Julie Laughlin
00:18:58
So I had to fly to Texas because I was speaking TO I think 300 business owners at the time.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:05
And then I would have meetings the whole week with the distributor reps to, to help them move product and really give add value.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:14
So I was talking about a lot of the things that I speak to my existing, my business clients now about succession planning and tax planning and do you know what your fixed overhead is?
Julie Laughlin
00:19:25
And these are all like things that I would give actually free content cause it would be a lunch and learn thing.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:31
And then I would go and meet one to one and help these distributor reps basically sell more product.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:39
I was about to get on the plane.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:40
My father and my mother and my son had spent the whole day with me.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:44
I put my departure date time as back as far as I could.
Julie Laughlin
00:19:48
I knew I was going to land on the ground in Texas about 1am and I didn't care because I was trying to spend as much time as I could with my son because he was not happy that mommy was leaving on his birthday because I had always told him that his birthday was my favorite day.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:03
Of the year.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:03
And.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:03
And that's the truth.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:04
It is because my son is a dream.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:07
Like, I had a team of 10 doctors tell me probably would never have a child.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:11
And they couldn't tell me why.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:13
But I said, bet I will have a child.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:17
And I never gave up on this.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:20
Even when I went through some of the darkest times a woman can go through when you lose a child, I just never gave up because I felt like God put that dream on my heart for a reason.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:30
And I was gonna honor whatever that was and I was going to see it through.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:33
So I was blessed enough to have this little guy.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:37
So me leaving him on his birthday was a very tough thing, and my parents both knew that.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:42
So they went to the airport with me after we had lunch in the toy store and all that.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:47
My dad gets out of the car, my son's crying, my dad's crying, my mom's crying.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:52
And I'm trying not to cry.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:53
I'm trying to be strong.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:54
I give Jared a hug and I say, mommy will be back in literally 48 hours.
Julie Laughlin
00:20:59
And when I get back, we're going to have a great weekend.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:02
We'll go wherever you want.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:03
I've got a lot of fun stuff planned.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:05
He's like, but, Mommy, I don't want you to go.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:07
It's our special day.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:08
And I said, honey, I'm sorry, I.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:10
I just, I have to go.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:11
But I will be back.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:13
My dad's walking me to the terminal, give, you know, handing me my, you know, carry on bag.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:17
And he just looks at me and he says, listen, don't take this the wrong way.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:22
Your mom and I really respect you.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:24
You navigated a complicated three year divorce.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:29
You never asked us for help.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:31
You've never skipped a beat.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:33
He's like, you managed it like a boss that you are.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:36
He goes, I know you're highly respected for what you do, and your skill is very valued.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:42
However, your career and your life, they don't match anymore.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:47
And I want you to think about this as you're traveling to Texas, because you're talented and you could do anything.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:53
He goes, look at me.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:55
I was in big corporate until the age 50.
Julie Laughlin
00:21:58
I retired at 50 and started a consulting company.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:00
And from 50 to 60 made more money than I ever thought I would in my whole lifetime.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:05
He's like, you're smarter than me.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:07
You're more driven than me.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:08
I started laughing because I'm like, I know I'm not smarter than you, but thanks for the compliment.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:13
And he's like, but you're more Driven.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:15
And you have more energy than like 10 people half your age.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:20
So he's like, I think you should really consider starting your own business.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:24
He's like, there's.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:25
You have so much knowledge now, all the things that you've done.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:29
You've been working with business owners for, oh my gosh, 15 plus years at that point.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:34
Darrell, he's like, there's, you could do consulting.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:37
There's so much you could do, Julie.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:39
Like, it's unbelievable.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:40
He's like, you could focus, you could go, go back to law school because I have a pre law degree.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:46
He's like, or you could get into financial because this is what you've been doing for, with these people all these years.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:51
And I really, I thought about it the whole way to Texas, the whole way back, and I'm like, my father is right.
Julie Laughlin
00:22:59
So when God wants to get your attention, whatever you believe in, spiritually, I believe in God.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:03
But when God wants to get your attention, he'll send people into your life to wake you up.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:08
My father is my biggest role model.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:12
He's the person that I've modeled.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:14
Who I am in the world is really after my mom and my dad.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:19
You know, do things with integrity, be honest with people, treat people well, work incredibly hard.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:26
These are all lessons that I learned as a young child.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:29
And they.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:29
And I think the reason that I stepped into so many male dominated industries, I just wanted to answer that question is because my mother and father told me that I could do anything and I believe them.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:40
And so, like, I was not intimidated by being with all men at one time.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:45
I was one of 50 members on a huge team and I was the only female on the east coast.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:51
And I was also number one.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:54
So I mean, I'm like, okay, whatever.
Julie Laughlin
00:23:57
Sometimes I wasn't the most popular.
Darrell Snow
00:24:01
Or.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:02
You know, sometimes it really rubbed people the wrong way just by me being me.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:06
But I didn't care.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:07
I'm still gonna be me.
Darrell Snow
00:24:09
So how did your life change when you stepped off that plane?
Julie Laughlin
00:24:12
Yeah, so I came back to Rochester and I knew I had to go to the grocery store before I got Jared, because, you know, I'm back for four days, he's gonna be with me for four days.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:23
So I run to the grocery store.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:25
I happened to get lucky enough to run into my childhood best friend who I hadn't seen in 20 years.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:30
And we were like little kids jumping up in the aisles, hugging each other, just acting crazy.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:36
We got our kids together that weekend.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:38
They were playing soccer in the park and we were having coffee, talking she looked amazing.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:43
She was a personal trainer.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:45
She had, like.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:46
I don't even know, like, 5% body fat.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:48
She's beautiful.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:50
She's a great mom.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:51
She's married to a great guy.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:52
Like, I'm so happy for her.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:54
But she stops still.
Julie Laughlin
00:24:55
She holds my hand, and she looks me dead in the face, and she said, I prayed to God that I would run into you.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:01
And my heart kind of dropped because I'm like, she's about to say something to me that's profound.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:06
And I thought I said to her, I think that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:10
Thank you so much.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:11
I am honored that.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:12
That you feel that way, because I am so happy to be here with you.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:15
She said, no, Julie.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:16
She's like, I've got a problem.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:18
And I'm just like, oh, no, what is it?
Julie Laughlin
00:25:19
Like, I just.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:20
I was just so happy to see her, so happy that I just was hoping that there was no problems.
Darrell Snow
00:25:25
Right?
Julie Laughlin
00:25:26
But.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:26
But unfortunately, she was sick, Darrell.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:29
And she said to me, she's like, julie, I'm very sick, and I'm at a crossroads right now.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:35
And you were always that person, even in high school, that our friend circle would go to to ask for advice because you've got wise counsel.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:43
Like, you give very good advice.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:45
And she's like, I need your help and your support now than I ever have in my whole life, because the type of cancer that I got that I have is very aggressive.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:56
And my heart sank, and I said, tell me more.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:59
Tell me more.
Julie Laughlin
00:25:59
We talked for two hours about what she had been through to that point.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:03
And unfortunately, Darrell, she had fibroids, which are very common in women.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:08
And at the time.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:09
Now this is.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:11
This has been nine years ago now, they would give you an option.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:15
Because she was a personal trainer, she didn't want a major surgery, so she didn't want to have a partial hysterectomy or a hysterectomy.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:23
But the problem with fibroids is that you can't test to see if they're cancerous without taking them out intact.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:31
The option that they gave her, unfortunately, was called a morcellation process, where they actually cut up the fibroid while it's inside of you.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:40
Now, the bad part about that is because they can take it out laparoscopically.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:43
But the dangerous part about this is if there's cancer in there, it'll spread everywhere in your body in a matter of a year.
Julie Laughlin
00:26:49
And that's exactly what happened to my friend.
Darrell Snow
00:26:53
I'm having the face that I have because my wife had seven Lasker Operies.
Darrell Snow
00:26:59
I can't even pronounce the word, but she had seven of them.
Darrell Snow
00:27:03
She had three or four of them prior to me meeting her and then the other three or four after I met her.
Darrell Snow
00:27:11
And finally they encouraged her to do a full hysterectomy, which in and of itself has been a nightmare.
Darrell Snow
00:27:21
But so I totally understand and get what you're talking about.
Darrell Snow
00:27:28
And you know, I said this the other day to.
Darrell Snow
00:27:34
I think it was on another interview.
Darrell Snow
00:27:36
But when we're in the middle of our stuff, our crap, you know, we're not sitting there going, hey, thank you for another chance to be strong and thank you for another chance to lean into my faith.
Darrell Snow
00:27:48
We're saying, help get me out of it.
Darrell Snow
00:27:51
But if we look back at those moments, we can see the hand of God work through them.
Darrell Snow
00:27:55
And you know, you said, and I know it was kind of tongue in cheek I happened to run into.
Darrell Snow
00:28:03
We both know there was no happenstance.
Darrell Snow
00:28:05
It was meant by the hand of God.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:08
There was no accident.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:09
There was definitely no accident.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:10
I ran into Brenda by divine intervention for sure.
Darrell Snow
00:28:14
Yeah.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:15
And I know that I helped her at the end of her life because honestly, about a year and a half from that conversation, unfortunately, she lost her battle.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:26
But I was with her for a big chunk of this.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:28
Like, I would go to.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:30
We have a very good cancer hospital in Buffalo called Roswell.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:33
I would go there while she was getting treatments.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:36
I would just sit there with her.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:37
We would talk.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:38
But I'm telling you, the gift was to me, like, it was a gift to me to be with my friend at the end of her life because Darrell, she pushed me.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:49
She's the reason that I'm even like, she's the reason I started my company.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:56
She's the reason I'm here with you.
Julie Laughlin
00:28:59
She's the reason that I've had enough flexibility in my schedule to be with my mom the last year of her life as much as I was before she passed, had I not.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:10
Had I not had the conversation with my father.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:13
Because I'm hard headed.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:18
Like, I'm very strong person like you, like you said.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:22
But I'm also very determined.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:25
I'm very hard headed.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:26
Like, I'm very.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:27
A little bit stubborn, I'll be honest.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:29
And I'm the type of person that God needed to send these two critical people into my life to wake me up.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:35
And, you know, was.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:37
I was scared.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:38
100%.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:39
I was scared.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:39
I was making really good money.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:42
I had a company car an expense account.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:44
I flew all over the world on somebody else's dime.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:48
I had stock options like I was living a really good life.
Julie Laughlin
00:29:52
And I jumped off a cliff because, you know, my friend said to me, my friend that was sick, she said to me, listen, you don't know how many more years you have left.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:04
You're making a billionaire more of a billionaire.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:07
He does not need your efforts and you'll be replaced within seconds.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:10
And she was right.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:11
I knew she was right.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:11
As good as I was, they replaced me in a minute.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:15
She said, but you can make an impact in the lives of other people, and that's your divine calling.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:21
And you just need to be brave enough to step into it.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:24
And now I'm not saying it's going to be easy, Julie, because nothing that is worth it is, is easy sometimes.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:31
But is it going to be worth it?
Julie Laughlin
00:30:32
100% it's going to be worth it.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:34
And I think you owe it to yourself to try.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:36
Hey, if it doesn't work, you can go back to big corporate.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:39
You have sought after skills.
Julie Laughlin
00:30:41
And she just pushed me so, so much to like, get off the dime that I did.
Darrell Snow
00:30:48
My, my, my wife's father passed away from West Niles and, and he spent six months in the hospital and he had to be moved every 30 days because the insurance company wouldn't allow him to stay in one spot more than 30 days.
Darrell Snow
00:31:06
And he was going to have a brain surgery.
Darrell Snow
00:31:11
And she worked for a high volume tech company here in Phoenix, and so she was gonna, she'd been taking care of her father and she was gonna go for this brain surgery.
Darrell Snow
00:31:26
And her boss said, you know, it's end of month, right?
Darrell Snow
00:31:30
You're coming back, right?
Darrell Snow
00:31:32
And she's like, my dad is having brain surgery.
Darrell Snow
00:31:37
Well, what time will the surgery be over?
Darrell Snow
00:31:39
Like 2am well, then I expect you here.
Darrell Snow
00:31:43
And because she was the sole provider for her son and caring for her father and her mother, she had no other options but to come back in at 2am and when she lost the ability to work.
Darrell Snow
00:31:58
When you're a mother and a caregiver and the only breadwinner, when you lose all of those at the same time, you lose your identity and you lose out who you are.
Darrell Snow
00:32:11
And I had to remind her, you know, even through your own illness and through getting all these other losses, it now gives you a chance to decide, who is Elsa?
Darrell Snow
00:32:24
Who are you?
Darrell Snow
00:32:24
Outside of being these things, you can go and do and be whatever you want.
Darrell Snow
00:32:31
And that took a long time for her to sink in.
Darrell Snow
00:32:35
And to you know, come to grips with.
Darrell Snow
00:32:38
But what your father gave you and what your friend gave you was the realization that money isn't everything.
Darrell Snow
00:32:50
And most of us are working so hard for money, we forget about the time and how precious that commodity is, even beyond the money.
Darrell Snow
00:33:01
And, you know, I was guilty of that for a long time.
Darrell Snow
00:33:05
And why I started my own company and do the things I do now is for that exact reason is I value time way more than I did when it should have been given to those I love.
Darrell Snow
00:33:19
And it sounds like that's kind of what you stepped off the plane, understanding and spending time with your friend, understanding that time is the key.
Darrell Snow
00:33:30
And if you do it with the impact and with the reasons that God is putting in your heart, he will bring you the money.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:37
You know, he brings me the people.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:39
And that's why I don't ask for the money.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:40
I ask for the people I'm meant to help on their journey.
Darrell Snow
00:33:43
True.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:43
And so as I do that, I'm just incredibly blessed.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:48
Like, I.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:50
My business partner jokes with people.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:52
He's like, listen, I've been with.
Julie Laughlin
00:33:55
With her as a business partner for, gosh, it's going on four years, which I can't believe.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:00
I feel like time is speeding up.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:02
And he's like, not one time have I ever prospected for a client.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:06
I do all of it for us.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:07
And, you know, I just, I'm out here, I'm doing things like this with you on this podcast.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:14
I'm out there doing networking, I'm talking to people.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:18
I'm part of a associations here locally and then also nationally.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:23
And basically, I just put out there what we do, what we offer, how we can help.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:30
And I ask God to send me the people that I'm meant to help in this very profound way with their relationship, with money, and with an actual plan that's going to help them get where they want to go.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:42
It's not based upon what my needs are.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:44
You're paying me a fee, you pay our company a fee, and we give you the best possible advice.
Julie Laughlin
00:34:51
We look at all the different scenarios, what you could do, and we vet these ideas out and we say, if we were you, this is exactly what we would do.
Darrell Snow
00:35:02
When I heard a preacher say once, and this stuck with me enough that anyone who's listened to my show has heard it before, but oftentimes people, you know, say, oh, I'm praying, I'm praying, I'm praying.
Darrell Snow
00:35:17
I want God to show me this, I want God to show me that, whatever.
Darrell Snow
00:35:20
And I heard a pastor once Say, and this is the profound thing that stuck with me.
Darrell Snow
00:35:27
Everyone's waiting on God.
Darrell Snow
00:35:29
But what if God is waiting on you?
Julie Laughlin
00:35:33
Yep.
Darrell Snow
00:35:34
So you get off that plane and you make that decision.
Darrell Snow
00:35:37
And you get off that, you jump and build your wings on the way down.
Darrell Snow
00:35:41
And you, you know, I'll be your safety net, but I'm waiting on you to jump, to show you the security that you're going to have.
Darrell Snow
00:35:48
And when you do it for the right reasons, and that's to have impact and serve others.
Darrell Snow
00:35:56
And I don't care if you're digging ditches or flipping burgers or doing your job, if you do it with a fiduciary responsibility where the client comes first.
Julie Laughlin
00:36:07
Yep.
Darrell Snow
00:36:08
You know, when I was, I was in real estate for seven years, and one of the main arguments I would have and conversations I would have with the opposing agent was about fiduciary responsibility.
Darrell Snow
00:36:23
Because when they.
Darrell Snow
00:36:24
I was a listing agent, and so when they would call and want to talk about my listing, instead of wanting to talk about the showing or the listing or the needs of their client, their first question is, why is my fee so low?
Darrell Snow
00:36:36
And my first question was, why isn't your client's needs first?
Darrell Snow
00:36:42
If you bring enough to the table, maybe we can discuss your fee, but let's talk about your client's needs first.
Darrell Snow
00:36:49
And fiduciary responsibility in all walks of life is the most important because we're here to serve others.
Darrell Snow
00:36:55
We're here to do what's right for others, and thereby we will get what's right for us.
Darrell Snow
00:37:01
Zig Ziglar said it best.
Darrell Snow
00:37:03
When you do, when you help enough people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.
Darrell Snow
00:37:07
It should not be the other way around.
Julie Laughlin
00:37:10
It's true.
Julie Laughlin
00:37:10
And the biggest thing, and like you said, is just going to work, like, just showing up every day like, you know, God could be waiting on you to step out in faith and to not, you know, continue to play small and be scared and, you know, think, well, what if it, what if it fails?
Julie Laughlin
00:37:29
Well, what if it doesn't?
Julie Laughlin
00:37:31
So, you know, you have to, you have to almost proof test it.
Julie Laughlin
00:37:36
Like, why not?
Julie Laughlin
00:37:38
Why, why continue to wait?
Darrell Snow
00:37:40
I wonder.
Darrell Snow
00:37:41
And it's, it's a curious question.
Darrell Snow
00:37:43
As a person with a psychology degree, why do people always wonder what's going to go wrong instead of trying to figure out what's going to go right?
Darrell Snow
00:37:50
Because what we focus on is what comes about.
Darrell Snow
00:37:53
I don't care.
Julie Laughlin
00:37:54
Well, what you project, the universe is going to get back to you.
Julie Laughlin
00:37:57
Right?
Julie Laughlin
00:37:57
And this is, this is why I dig a little bit deeper into what I call money trauma.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:03
And like a real dysfunctional relationship with money.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:08
Because oftentimes, Darrell, it's on a subconscious level.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:11
We don't know.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:12
We've been handed down things from private prior generations, whether it was your parents, your grandparents, aunts and uncle, whoever raised you, or whoever gave you advice on money in general.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:25
And sometimes those lessons and those things that they were trying to teach you, they're holding you back, you know, and they may have had really good intention with it at the time that they gave you the advice.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:36
And also some of the advice is obsolete.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:38
So that's where I really get real with people.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:42
Our process involves not only a rock solid analytical plan that I can prove with the software that my partner and I pay for to have that does like advanced modeling, but also we marry that with mindset work.
Julie Laughlin
00:38:57
Like, what's your relationship with like with money?
Julie Laughlin
00:39:01
And also what's your partner's relationship like with money?
Julie Laughlin
00:39:05
And are you guys at odds just from the way that you were raised?
Julie Laughlin
00:39:08
And 95% of us are at odds because we weren't raised in the same environment because opposites attract.
Julie Laughlin
00:39:16
So let's be honest, in nine out of ten times, so how do we bring these two schools of thought together in a unified way?
Julie Laughlin
00:39:27
And also how do we let go of things that are holding us back so that we can move forward and have a new relationship with money?
Julie Laughlin
00:39:34
And we do have a rock solid process to help people with that money.
Darrell Snow
00:39:39
Trauma is something I personally dealt with before I even knew the term.
Darrell Snow
00:39:45
And sometimes it's twofold.
Darrell Snow
00:39:48
At least it was in my case.
Darrell Snow
00:39:50
And you can tell me if this plays out in your clientele.
Darrell Snow
00:39:54
But when I was younger, my dad raised five kids.
Darrell Snow
00:40:00
He and my mom were blue collar people working blue collar jobs.
Darrell Snow
00:40:05
And I saw how he busted his ass to provide for us.
Darrell Snow
00:40:12
And somewhere in my brain I said to myself, I don't want to dishonor my father by ever making more than he did.
Darrell Snow
00:40:22
And I can go back now in with hindsight.
Darrell Snow
00:40:26
And I can see every time I would get to that pinnacle, I would self sabotage or walk away.
Darrell Snow
00:40:32
Self sabotage or walk away.
Darrell Snow
00:40:34
Because I made that verbal contract with myself, even though it's not what I meant.
Darrell Snow
00:40:39
But I was young and I made that verbal contract and I carried it through until I realized that's what I had done and was able to break it.
Darrell Snow
00:40:46
The other part is people are always like, oh, you're scared of failure?
Darrell Snow
00:40:52
No more.
Darrell Snow
00:40:53
People are scared of Success.
Darrell Snow
00:40:55
Because who do I have to become?
Darrell Snow
00:40:57
What do I have to do?
Darrell Snow
00:40:59
What's expected to me now if I'm successful?
Darrell Snow
00:41:02
Failing is easy.
Darrell Snow
00:41:03
We've done that all our lives.
Darrell Snow
00:41:04
We know how to pick ourselves back up.
Darrell Snow
00:41:07
But I don't know, what does success look like?
Darrell Snow
00:41:09
That's the part.
Darrell Snow
00:41:10
That's the fear, right?
Julie Laughlin
00:41:12
Yeah.
Darrell Snow
00:41:12
Do you find that to be unknown?
Darrell Snow
00:41:15
Do you find that to be true with your clients?
Julie Laughlin
00:41:19
I find about 50% of my clients have a scarcity mindset where they think there's a finite number of resources and they're constantly clawing to just get ahead or just break even.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:31
And it's been imprinted on them from generation after generation, and they have a hard time letting it go.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:37
And the other half of my clients are just scared of their own potential.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:41
Like, they know they could do it, but they don't know what it's going to be like once they get there.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:46
And then once they do amass the money.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:48
I do have, like, it's interesting, our practice, and my partner and I were just talking about this with a client recently.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:54
A lot of our clients are very, very successful.
Julie Laughlin
00:41:57
Like, they've worked really incredibly hard and they've amassed a nice little nest egg or sometimes millions of dollars, honestly.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:06
And we have to encourage them to spend it, believe it or not, because they have this fear.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:12
Like, especially when you get into what we call the distribution years, because you and I are still in our accumulation years.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:18
We're still building our business, we're building our nest egg.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:21
But when you become, you know, 70 plus years old and you're basically taking your investments in your nest egg and you're distributing it back to yourself to create your income.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:33
A lot of times people are very scared to spend their money.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:36
Like, they.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:36
They really think they're going to outlive it.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:39
That's where our analytical software is mega powerful.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:43
Because I can actually show people, like, okay, I know.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:47
I know everything about you because my process requires that I know everything about you to make recommendation.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:53
So I know how much you're spending on every category in your life.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:57
Like, I know what your groceries are last year.
Julie Laughlin
00:42:59
We know everything.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:00
We know what all your expenses are.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:01
All your expenses were $60,000 last year.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:05
Right.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:05
For the year, for you and your family.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:07
Just giving you an example.
Darrell Snow
00:43:09
Yeah.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:10
And you're 72 years old and you have $10 million.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:17
Basically, you are never going to touch the principle of that, you know, And I can show them that.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:23
And they, they're often like, well, how can that be?
Julie Laughlin
00:43:25
Like, how Is that.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:26
But, you know, these clients sometimes will have.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:30
They may be lucky enough to have a pension, they may have Social Security, they may have retirement accounts.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:36
Like, there's so many different ways that people are paid.
Julie Laughlin
00:43:39
And our job is to just make sure when people are in their accumulation years, are we setting them up for now, but also for the future?
Darrell Snow
00:43:48
Well, I think the scarcity mentality plays in a lot of people's.
Darrell Snow
00:43:52
You know, it's not pie.
Darrell Snow
00:43:55
There's not just a certain amount of slices.
Darrell Snow
00:43:57
It's, you know, it's an form of energy that will come back to you and you can never.
Darrell Snow
00:44:04
You can never receive in this hand if it's clenched.
Darrell Snow
00:44:08
You have to open it up a little to receive more.
Darrell Snow
00:44:11
So, you know, the.
Darrell Snow
00:44:13
And I saw that in my own dad, he would buy 30 things of whatever he didn't need because it was on sale, you know, and, you know, might be a day when I run out of it when we die.
Darrell Snow
00:44:26
When he passed away, I mean, the laundry soap, he could have laundered 30 households.
Darrell Snow
00:44:33
Right.
Darrell Snow
00:44:34
But that scarcity mentality is.
Darrell Snow
00:44:36
Is real.
Darrell Snow
00:44:38
People think that they're going to run out of it and they hoard it.
Darrell Snow
00:44:41
Well, the more you hoard it well, yeah, now you're going to run out of it because you're not earning more and you're not putting that back out into the world to.
Darrell Snow
00:44:48
To create.
Darrell Snow
00:44:49
So how did you come about the.
Darrell Snow
00:44:53
I'm going to say two things.
Darrell Snow
00:44:55
First, I love that your name, Julie, means born warrior.
Darrell Snow
00:45:01
Especially since you're on a warrior spirit and you've lived a warrior's life.
Darrell Snow
00:45:05
You've just been definitely out there doing it and you wrote your own life story, becoming who you always thought you could never be.
Darrell Snow
00:45:19
So that's one question.
Darrell Snow
00:45:20
How did that title come about and how did you come about naming your financial company Breathe?
Julie Laughlin
00:45:28
I cannot take credit for Breathe Capital Planning, really, because that is my business partner's genius and his name is Noah Ferenbach and he's amazing.
Julie Laughlin
00:45:38
So we really wanted something that felt organic and felt free and felt like connected to.
Julie Laughlin
00:45:48
And we even.
Julie Laughlin
00:45:49
I have rollerballs of essential oils that I had made with our logo on it because we really want people to take a breath and just like breathe.
Julie Laughlin
00:45:58
When it comes to the relationship with money, it doesn't have to.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:02
The whole conversation doesn't have to be scary.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:05
Financial planning and financial advising and all that and just talking about money in general doesn't have to be dull and boring.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:12
We try to bring it to life energy.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:15
We have fun with Our clients, you know, getting to know people and what makes them tick and then designing a plan that's going to support them is a very unique way to do things.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:25
So, you know, he took a lot of time with that.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:27
He took a lot of time with our designers that worked with us on our logos.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:32
A couple of our logo, our mini logos have a tree and it almost looks like lungs or bronchia within the tree.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:38
It truly looks like breathing.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:40
It's meant to emulate taking a breath.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:43
So that's how that came to be.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:45
What was your next question?
Darrell Snow
00:46:46
Well, on your logo, when I saw it, it looked like the tree of life.
Darrell Snow
00:46:49
So that.
Darrell Snow
00:46:50
Yeah, but on your.
Darrell Snow
00:46:52
On your own story, becoming who you always thought you could never be.
Julie Laughlin
00:46:56
I'm still in process of writing that, so I have not released that book yet.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:03
Daryl, if you told me back 20 years ago that I would be doing this kind of work, I would have laughed at you.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:10
I said, no way.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:11
Nope, not doing it.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:13
There is no way I'm dealing with people's money.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:16
Like, I'm not getting involved.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:18
Like, no way.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:21
And also just stepping into the role of leading my own family and then leading myself and now leading others and kind of being okay with that.
Julie Laughlin
00:47:33
Kind of realizing that everything that I always needed has always been inside and just really kind of stepping into believing in myself.
Darrell Snow
00:47:45
Elena Rodriguez is a mutual friend of ours.
Darrell Snow
00:47:49
And tomorrow you guys are going to be hosting a retreat.
Darrell Snow
00:47:54
What is that retreat going to look like and entail?
Darrell Snow
00:47:57
And I know you're going to be making it kind of an annual or semiannual event.
Darrell Snow
00:48:02
So when this is hosted the next time around and people want to join, what can they expect from that kind of retreat with you guys?
Julie Laughlin
00:48:10
Yeah.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:10
So this is our first Surrender to Rise event and it's an opportunity for people to meet a lot of the authors in the book.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:20
And Elena is going out with Edition 2, which is Surrender to Rise, the Mal Edition.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:27
So it has a lot of men stories, you know, warrior spirits that are in the surrender to Rise2Book and their stories of overcoming incredible obstacles, odds, things in life they never thought they could.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:41
So we're very excited about it.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:43
It's a three day event.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:44
This one is being held in Dallas, Texas, and in March.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:49
And we will be, you know, it's a VIP event where people can get to meet the authors.
Julie Laughlin
00:48:56
And then day two is a lot of people's stories on stage, people telling you about motivational stories of things that they've overcome, things that they've learned, things that they're doing now.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:09
Very inspiring.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:11
And the third day is focused on a workshop style where you'll be learning business skills, life skills.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:18
We have all kinds of incredible people that'll be there.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:21
We have incredible vendors that'll be there.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:25
Our company, Breathe Capital Planning, is a major sponsor.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:28
Besitos, which is Elena's brand, is also a major sponsor of the event.
Julie Laughlin
00:49:33
And we are just thrilled to come together to make this happen.
Darrell Snow
00:49:38
Well, and this event will be tomorrow, March 6, March 7, and March 8.
Darrell Snow
00:49:42
And hopefully it's successful enough that it'll bring more of these events to the world.
Darrell Snow
00:49:47
And I do appreciate that you guys have decided to also put out a 2.0 version that does include the.
Darrell Snow
00:49:54
The males story.
Darrell Snow
00:49:56
Maybe 3.0 can be a couples or a marriage story or, you know, relationship stories.
Darrell Snow
00:50:01
Yeah, so.
Julie Laughlin
00:50:02
Or anybody.
Julie Laughlin
00:50:03
Anybody in a relationship, like, yeah, that would be really cool.
Darrell Snow
00:50:06
Yeah, that'd be a nice 3.0.
Darrell Snow
00:50:08
So you can tell Elena I said that.
Darrell Snow
00:50:11
But I admire the strength that you possess and the strength that you show.
Darrell Snow
00:50:21
From the miscarriages to the marriage to the male dominated society, to even picking yourself back up and saying, you know what?
Darrell Snow
00:50:29
I choose family over money, which, you know, then brought you more money.
Darrell Snow
00:50:37
But I admire all that you stand for and what you do, and I admire that you help others from a fiduciary responsibility that you inspire and you encourage and you do it with love.
Darrell Snow
00:50:52
And as I mentioned before, I love that your name means born warrior.
Darrell Snow
00:50:56
So I'm going to ask you the same final question that I ask all of my guests.
Darrell Snow
00:51:01
What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Julia?
Julie Laughlin
00:51:07
For me, it's internal fortitude.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:09
It's continuing to believe in yourself even when you're up against tremendous odds.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:15
It's, you know, getting up and every single day and kind of doing the work, even when you feel like you don't want to.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:24
It's being committed to what you said you were going to do and who you said you were going to be.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:28
So for me, that's a warrior spirit.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:31
A warrior spirit is that.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:33
Stick to it.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:34
Iveness and that relentless pursuit of the goals that you want in life.
Darrell Snow
00:51:41
Well, I appreciate that you took time out of your day to join me, and I just thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Darrell Snow
00:51:47
I'm glad that you're in my sphere and in my circle, and it's just a pleasure to continue to get to know you and who you are.
Darrell Snow
00:51:54
And, you know, thank you for doing this today.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:57
Sure.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:57
Thank you, Darrell.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:58
This has been really fun.
Julie Laughlin
00:51:59
And it's been great to be a part of Warrior Spirit.
Julie Laughlin
00:52:02
Thank you so much.
Darrell Snow
00:52:03
Thank you.
Darrell Snow
00:52:04
And if you'd like to connect with Julie, you can connect with her at our website, breathecapitalplanning.com or her LinkedIn and any of her socials.
Darrell Snow
00:52:12
So I thank you again for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.
Darrell Snow
00:52:17
And be sure to like or subscribe.
Darrell Snow
00:52:19
So you catch all the episodes.