Kit on Why She Wishes She Had Been More Compassionate During the Show

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Welcome back to another exciting episode a Bachelor Happy Hour with Me and my girl, Rachel, And as always, we are bringing you one of the fabulous women from this season. We have none other than kit herself, who you know, at the beginning of the season she was proclaimed ausiness socialite. But we are so excited to have her on because, as we know, there's so much more to all of these women than just what their title and their bios have read. So before we get into her and the cute little one on one that we saw between her and Matt last night, we just got to get into a quick little recap because there was a lot of drama, of course, very on par with this season that went down again on top of that, I kind of like we're starting to settle a little bit and find more of the love story. But I do want to see much more of that to come, you know, and thankfully it will with some of the women that have now gone home. So let's just get into it, Rachel. Let's get into it. So off the top, I mean, we start with to be continued from last week, right, we start with the roast ceremony. We see Matt at the very top of the episode. Thank god that Matt finally stepped up here and addressed everything that was going on between the women. He addressed the rumors that have been circulating. He addressed the cattiness and just the cruelty. I think that that we've been seen as viewers. And thank god because I said last week, like he better show up this week, like he better stand his ground, he better have some of these women's backs like he like I needed more from him. And I feel like in that very first confrontation with him between all the women, like he did just that. And then we see him go and of course I have a conversation with Anna and send her home. So what were your thoughts on that? Yeah, so this whole episode is like the I guess, like the juiciness was in the first half of it, so and I was I was shocked. I didn't know we were going to I just knew he was going to give that last roast Tota and he didn't. So kudos to Matt for that. I really loved him saying, you know, Victoria, I just I've never seen anything like it, and I don't want I don't want to see it again. I just that she truly has no idea. This can't be an act. This is not an act anymore. I mean, I do think that she's an actress and she's playing things up. I think she thought things were going to go a certain way. I think she thought, maybe I'll be a Karan, maybe I'll be a Demi. No, at the end of the day, she's just mean. She's just a mean girl. And when Matt questions her about using the word ho and he's like, what concept of being called to hoe is acceptable to be taken in? I was like, great question, Matt, And what if Victoria had for him? Nothing, no answers. She looks like a deer in headlights. Yeah, I was really Yeah, I was really really happy to see him take charge. I was happy to see like he made a statement when he sent Anna, excuse me, Hannah, when he sent Hannah home, he made a statement. He was basically saying, this won't be like, I stand behind Britt, this is unacceptable. Well, you're ruining this woman's life, Like, whether it's true or not. You don't talk about things you don't know, don't talk about things you haven't seen, and don't talk about things you've never heard. Period. I learned that lesson a long time ago, so he needed to send her home. She knew it was coming, she had to go. I hope she's learned her lesson in all of this, and I do hope she's nobody agrees with what she did. We know it was wrong. I hope she's okay because she's going to get a lot of heat. And I don't know what it's like to get that much criticism, to be I mean, she's universally disliked at the moment. So you guys, was like, let's we know she was wrong, we know it was tacky, we know it was inappropriate, it was handled in the correct way. Matt sent her home, and let's just leave it alone. We don't have to hear about Anna and her rumors again. And Britt stays so we can see his relationship progress with Britt and we can learn who she really is rather than living in a space of rumors. Victoria, she's gone, Ding dong. The witch is dead. You know you know what I mean? Like mal out of here, good ridd cut it short. But we saw a lot like Mari. I was shocked. She wen't seen a lot of her, but she went That was a big one. Lauren. I thought they had something. We even asked Matt about that when he was here. Catalina, one of the newer girls, she went home. I was surprised at the group of girls that went home. I feel like this week Matt really kind of like took charge and realized what do I want? Like what do I want to partner? Like I'm not here to screw around anymore. And and you know, like where I criticized him last week as like not taking enough initiative and not standing up enough, I feel like he went into it guns ablazing this week and he's just like, no, like I'm theurprized if if you say something that's out of character or that I don't align with against these other women, like you're gone and that was it. I want to ask your thoughts on this because prior to both Anna and Victoria leaving, we see obviously him confront them, and then we see all these apologies happening, like and to me and some of the girls called the other females who were apologizing at this point, like why is this happening now? Like you've had days to say these things and now you're just saying it because you got called out like it's like you're walking out with your tail between your legs. What were your thoughts on that, because it didn't sit well with me. Yeah. I mean, if this was an Olympic race, the girl the ladies would have beat Michael Phelps in the backstroke, you know what I mean, Like they would have set a record in it. They got they went real quick to backstroke in, real quick to go in you know what I mean. It was and I was I laughed when I think it was Serena who called them out, one of the Serenas she called, she called him out and it was true. Yeah, I mean it was a wake up call to them, like Matt's not going to take this. You need to get it together. This is unacceptable. And who knows whether it was sincere or not, We'll never know that, but it was. But we noted the fact that the timing off on it seemed to be love fishy little suspects. Yeah, backstroke man, um. Yeah, so you know we moved on. We saw two one on ones. Um, Rachel got on one on one. I'm gonna say this every week we ask you guys to send us constructive criticism and comments and your thoughts and you guys have said a lot of thoughts about Rachel, and there has been a lot of are you going to address the things that you are sending us? You sent them both both to Becca and I, and Becca and I have actually discussed this. We are not ignoring you. We have heard what you said, and I promise you it will be addressed one way or another. But I don't want to talk about a situation until I can actually we can actually talk to that person. So I don't want to talk around it. I don't want to talk about I don't want to live in a space of rumors. Don't call me Anna, you know what I mean. Like, we ain't Anna up on this podcast. But when the time is right and she be a guest, which I do anticipate she will be on our podcast, then we'll talk about it. So right now, we're gonna talk about Rachel to Aid Rachel. That's how I'm gonna refer to her. We're gonna talk about two Aid Rachel in the sense of what we saw on this episode. Okay, that's a disclaimer, but please believe it's coming. So too Aide. Rachel goes on this shopping day, which I'm sorry where are all? How are they able to escape and go to all these places? Didn't you think that poor Claire and Tatia. We're stuck at the Leakinta and we saw them, you know, around that same pool, take going those that same boar in the cardboard taxi y all around the cardboard tax the same set of hills, the same white buildings with the Spanish tip. I mean these like on Mad Season. They're on farms, they're going boxing and like their own museums, car museums now shopping um with Beyonces stylist for at this Did you know that? No time? Oh? Yeah time. I don't know if he still does, but he styled Beyonce for a long time because he's from Texas. Oh oh yeah this? Um yeah No. The more I see of the grounds of Nemicole and I'm like, is this a resort or like what do we even call this? It's like its own state right now. It's like Rhode Island. Yeah, it's probably bigger than Rhode Island. But I'm happy that they're making things happen though, Like I'm happy we're seeing it. Um listen, Becka, you had a date, like to aid Rachel im, so you can speak on that how that feels. I okay, Well, also like this the date that I had was very very similar, but also the very first date of the season where I literally Rachel. I was standing there naked in front of Rachel Zoe as she was dressing me, and I'm like, the only thing running through my head all day was like, thank god I shaved my legs, like as I'm being dressed. But um, it's it's such an interesting situation because it's probably any woman's dream to get dressed up and to have all these beautiful gowns on your way and lou batons to try on, and it's really really incredible, but it's also very nerve racking, like to do on a date with a man, Like it was so far outside of my comfort zone, Like I felt like I was in a dream, like I like at one point, I remember going to the bathroom being like is this real life? Like is Rachel Zoe really outside? And am I wearing lou batons right now? Like this doesn't feel real? Um, And I think Rachel felt probably similar, like she's like, this isn't my normal life, Like this is like so outside of my comfort zone. So I feel like she appreciated it more than maybe some of the other women in the house. But um, I mean, god, what would you want that? No, it was definitely nice. Is it just me or did you think that when she came back with all those blue shopping backs if there was nothing in them, I feel, well felt like they were they had me do this, and Rachel, they literally loaded up, okay, everything I had. I still have some of the stuff that I gifted, Like it was everything from like bathing suits to leggings to handbags, like anything you can think of, and again like, oh that is what I was going to say, Like that was probably the most uncomfortable part was they literally loaded my arms up with all these bags and they're like, okay, go talk to the women. And I was like, oh, so bring all this in front of the women. I was so uncomfortable. I felt so bad, and of course, like you know me, I was like if you guys, of course you did. And you know what, Becca, I would have been like, actually, what's that show? Are you? I was like, oh, you want to do that? No, I came back. Well, so my date that night lasted so long that everyone was already sleeping, but then the next morning I was I actually went through everything and I gave some stuff away to the girls. At least they were in my rooms. It's like, yeah, I don't need seventeen bathing suits in fourteen ye leggings like half some take it and it was which was nice, Like I yeah, it was an experience and I could just share it with the girls. But that was the uncomfortable part, like you know, and I think hopefully too, like everyone realized, like you know, Rachel probably doesn't want to walk in with seventy four bags on her arms and have to like share it with the world. But two, I mean, she also wasn't hiding those heels that she was showing the red bottoms yea shit, And I would have been kicking up my heels too. I mean, listen, it is what it is, ladies. He took me on a shopping spree. What can I say other than you know, I enjoyed myself. So you have experience to being on a shopping date. I have experience on going on a date on a farm. And let me just tell you, guys, that's right. I almost quit the show after this date. And I wasn't alone. I was leading the charge. Me and Astrid, we're leading the charge. I remember we went on a date in Wisconsin, just like these women. And it's nice that these women were participating in the farm activities. Astrid and I were standing in the corner covering our noses. We were like, absolutely not. If he likes us, he likes us. If he doesn't, oh well, I'm not picking up manure. I'm not milking a cow. I'm not And I used to spend my summers on farm, so I know what's up. I don't need I don't need to do this, okay. Nick was that there were there were thirteen of us. Nick wasn't paying attention to it. Just oh, I just felt for these women. I know the struggle. It doesn't matter how much manure you shovel into that will barrow. It doesn't matter how many teats you squeeze. It doesn't matter how many chickens you taste, how many eggs you it doesn't matter if he likes you, he likes you, And it just it was. It was painful to watch. It's and I it's there's really not much to say. I can't believe they did it again. That's what I was will say those poor woman, Well that's what I was thinking. I was like, didn't we just do this and like let's go on a soon. It's not that entertaining of a date, you know, It's like me shoveling shit and moving hay bales. It broken. Um, I think those those dates are for to break. Thank you. That evening at the cocktail party, I was crying in a bathroom because I couldn't believe that my life I left a legal job to go shovel anewer on National TV. What was you couldn't get this sent convision the state of Wisconsin? Which look, I loved Wisconsin that three years because I was there, but I left as soon as I was done. I couldn't believe it was like I was back, you know what I mean, I was back where I started. I just I couldn't believe it that this is this is what I came on TV for this. I put my life on hold for I thought, if I go home after this week, oh my gosh. You know, well how was your experience while I was just shoveling shit last week? Mike? I just I can't, I can't. We gotta stop this. You go on the bad short and you just stop. Start a petition. Somebody start a petition that the farm dates. They must be stopped. They must um. I will say, though, I would have been with the goats the entire time, like screw the dude. I would have just been hanging out with the guy. I was. I was. I was looking for home, my way home, Like what is the okay? So the sun shines this way, moss growls on this side of the tree. How do I get home? How do I get bad? Get me out of here? Um? Well, better happy our listeners. But you didn't think you'd get the real inside scoop. Yeah, that was almost it. She almost she almost wasn't Bachelorette. She almost never met Brian or had this podcast because I've lost a piece of me still resides in that manure on that farm out in Wisconsin. Some of me is still out there. It is you really do? Um? So, then on the rest of the best episode, we saw kit get her one on one, which we don't have to talk about that because we can get all the skype inside scoop from Kit um. And then of course we couldn't end the episode without a little drama, you know, it was It was a. It was a drama sandwich right, drama. At the top of the episode, we we got to breathe a little bit and then bam, they hit us with m J, which we should have known that was coming a little bit, shouldn't MJ was coming. But we see this two on one. We are two on one with NJ and Justcinia. Yes, um yeah, right before the cocktail party, which you know what I thought of we had we did the little superlatives with Abigail. She said Justinia was the most outspoken. You remember that or somebody whoever, whoever had whoever did the superlatives said Justinia was the most outspoken. That's right. Yeah, Well when you say unexpected, like I didn't know, I mean I could have one thousand percent said that MJ would have been on this two on one after you know, some of the other women women went home. I did not picture just Senia. So I'm intrigued to see. I mean, as MJ said, get the popcorn ready, So next Monday, you know what I'm gonna be eating when I'm watching this go down. And I don't know I anyone involved in like heavy drama. At this point, I'm like to send them home, Matt, You've you've you've had your time to get to know some of them. You had a new crop of woman be brought in, so just like, let's let's let's cut the bullshit right now. So um yeah, leaves is hanging again. Like just like last season. I feel like there's so many too. We continued. It's like we can't just start and end like with a normal roast. Gotta keep it spicy. Gotta keep it spicy, ladies, Gotta keep it spicy during quarantine. Yeah, if you're gonna come on this show, you see the riding on the wall. You never want to be in this situation, you know, MJ. If MJ, I would just be like, look, just sinning and let's just like, let's just come together real quick. Let's just do what we need to do. Let's make amends. Let's show Matt we can be the bigger person. The two of us came together, We're fine, and all we want to do is focus on you. I mean, how powerful would that be if we actually see women do that, actually see women get it? This is doing you no favors. If you make it through this week, you will not make it through the next. Just saying listen, yeah, I just well and just sending made a good point at the very end, She's just like weather, like Matt Seesar right now, he's gonna watch all of this back one day in a couple of months, like which obviously we're seen right now, and like people's circlers will come out, and so, yeah, I don't know what it is. It feels like a lot of these women are kind of delusional in the sense of like we've seen how they've acted, we've seen what they've said, and then they're like, wait, but I didn't do anything wrong. And that's the same case I feel like at this point with MJ. And so yeah, I just like, maybe I'm missing something. I don't think I really am, um, but yeah, I you know, at this point, like I thought MJ was like cute at night one and like a little bit out spoken and spunky and witty, and I'm just like, yeah, having been on a farm date, I'm must say she lost a little bit of herself on that date as well, somewhere out there in the manure. So maybe I should have a little bit I should feel a little sorry for her, because I do know how you can lose it spinning, spending hours on a date like that. But anyways, enough of the ship she lost it under in the chicken cool. Let's let's let's get to our guests. Okay, we've been excited to talk to her all season. She has been a focal point on Matt's season. Put some respect on her name. Welcome Kit Keenan to the podcast. So Kit, let's get Let's get to know the real Kit, because we get to meet you guys through your bios first, and then we meet you for two hours a week on our television screens. And there's so much to get into because I mean, people are talking about this group of women and hopefully you can set the record straight because there's just a lot, a lot going on. But let's talk about you. First, we got your bio. We didn't like it, Okay, no one likes it. Didn't like it and not And this isn't a knock on you. It's just like, I'm I know who your mom is. I saw I know who you are, and I was like, this girl has so much more to offer than what they're you know, presenting. So you tell us about yourself, like who is Kit? What is kid about? And how did she get on this show because people really want to know that. Yeah. Well, I think it's important to remember through everything for the viewers is that you only are getting a one dimensional character of who we all really are. And I definitely came in strong night one with like the whole gossip girl vibe and all of that. But I think I read something recently that was talking about my podcast with my mom, and the writer had listened to some episodes that we have and was like, Wow, there's so much more to her than, you know, coming out of like a nice car and being a socialite, which I was so mad about because that was my original title on the show and I felt that it completely diminished my compliment accomplishment. I am a senior at MYU right now studying fashion and business and I have been a small business owner since freshman year of college and I host a podcast by weekly with my mom, produce an edit it myself. So there's a lot more to me than nice cars and having a public figure as a mother. Well, and this is what we need to hear, and that I think our listeners want to hear and to back Rachel up because when we were reading your bio. She's like, there is so much more to this woman than just being a socialite, you know, Like, and that's what sucks is when you're reading and writing these bios, like you can only put so much on paper. And so that's why we love week by week having you girls on because like you can tell us about these things, Like you can tell us how you've been a small business owner for years and you run this podcast and you're editing it and like you're a badass woman. So obviously you were going to school. You are a busy woman. What made you want to come on the show? And how did you get involved in that? Yeah, so I actually was reached out to through social media and at the time, it was, you know, a few months into quarantine, school was going to be online for the next semester, and I thought to myself, like, this is probably the only time in my life that I would be able to do something like this because it was pretty easy for me to take a semester off of school. And now I've made up those classes already in January, so that was awesome, But I just think, like, after this, I will have a job full time and not be able to take time off work probably, so I was kind of like, why not just see what, you know, what could come of this, Like I and I'm sure we'll get into this, but I've never been in love before, and I thought, you know, this is like a fairy tale experience that I'm being offered. Let's see what this is all about. So, yeah, was it a fairytale? What you got in? What you got? What you got inside the bubble? Was the fairy tale you thought? I mean, I really I never cry. I'm a very cold person emotionally in my day to day life, but I was cracked open. Like so, it's a very emotionally taxing experience, and you know, you hope that at the end of it it's all worth it, and you kind of have to just have faith in that, but it definitely is. It was. This is going to sound so annoying, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever ever done. And that also just goes to show how privileged I've been in my life to be able to say that. But emotionally, it was very, very very hard, especially not being able to speak to my family and my mom, who's my number one, you know, supporter, and just my lifeline. So not being able to be able to reach out to anyone who knows me was really tough. Yeah, don't feel like you're you know, don't feel bad about saying it's the hardest thing that you've ever done, because Becca and I have been in your shoes. It is hard, especially when you, like you said, you're cold normally, or you cut off your emotions on the outside. I'm a very emotionless person on the outside. I'm actually super sensitive on the inside. I don't like to tell people that, but it's true. I'm like, I'm very soft on the inside, and this experience strips you of everything. Accept your feelings and that's all you have to deal with in a bubble. So it's a it's very eye opening and there's a level of vulnerability that you tap into that you didn't even realize you had. So you know, that's just don't be ashamed of that. That's just honest and we all feel that way. And to be honest too, I feel like everyone comes on the show and you can be tough, you can be hard, you can be like I'm not going to cry, and eventually you break. Like everyone at some point or another, it happens and they're like, whoa, my god, why am I crying? Why is this happening? But it like did you want any points? I mean, because like when you are left with nothing but your feelings and your emotions and really trying to invest in this relationship, it kind of becomes in a weird way, like a therapy session. Day by day when you're with the producers and the girls, like having these feelings where you feel like you're busted open and you really have to elaborate of like why you're thinking and feeling certain things. Did you feel like that? Like it you know, it's definitely difficult, But did you ever get to the point where it became more setting, Like let's talk about this, like let's have this therapy session. It feels good to be able to get everything out. Yeah, I think. I mean, well, if you aren't being cracked open and you still have those walls up, you're probably not invested enough in the process and in your relationship. So I think at a certain point, yeah, if you're there long enough and you do get to invest in your relationship, you're going to be emotional at times because it is like you know, you're building hopefully towards the rest of your life. So it's very emotional and I think, yeah, I did definitely interview became a little bit of a therapy session for me day to day, which was great. And previously I had started therapy for the first time in Quarantine and it was like my twenty twenty resolution to really work on my mental health. And I got to start doing that over Zoom, which was weird, but I actually love Zoom therapy and it definitely felt as though I was building off of that work that I had already started before I got there. That's amazing. Therapy is everything, and it prepares you for this experience. So last night we saw you had your one on one date. Now I want to get there, but stop, let's go back a little bit because I want to talk about how we got there. As I said, you know at the top of this this interview, there's been a lot of talk surrounding the women on this season, and to be frank, it's been very hard to watch. But you were there, you were in the middle of it. So like, while we have you, we want to ask you about that maybe you can clear up some big some misconception and that there may be maybe it wasn't quite what we're seeing, but you have been grouped with the main girls kit you have and then but like we see you in last night kind of like admit what it is that your part, you know in this whole thing, and like of you vow to be better, but before we get there, like what is going on? Is it really this toxic situation that the viewers are seeing every Monday night? Yeah? Again, I go back to the whole you are only seeing one side of saying so it's one harsh line here or there when it's been several people speaking their frustrations and their feelings. And I definitely, after seeing how I react to frustrating situations, I reflected and I thought to myself, Wow, I should have more compassion right off the bat. And I have apologized in the situation specifically because I think it's really her situation was she had compounding factors that were, you know, affecting her time there and I didn't know that, And I wish I could have been there for her, and you know, she could have been able to open up to me about that stuff because it's so hard. We're all going through this very difficult, you know, very emotionally taxing experience together. And I mean, I made amazing friends through it, and I just think that there is, you know, though we're all dating one guy, like, there is opportunity to build those relationships with other women there too. But I also think that a lot of the criticism that I have gotten is very gendered, and I don't like that. And I think if a man had said some of the more aggressive things that I said on screen, he would be applauded for standing up for himself. And because it's a woman and women are supposed to turn the other cheek and be compassionate and vulnerable, I think it's harder for people to see that. And yeah, it's something that I'm working on being more compassionate right off the bat. But I grew up with a role model who never took note for an answer and built her her empire off of that. And so when I feel as though I am not being respected, I'm going to say something I could have said it in a less aggressive way. I'm trying to look at it and I'm trying, you know, a week by week, we're seeing different storylines take place. Like a couple of weeks ago, it was of course tough to watch all of the women. It felt like gang up against Sarah and you know, like I have to put myself back in your shoes, like I remember at that point, like when you're filming obviously, like when it's airing, it seems so much more dramatic and it seems so much more like, oh my gosh, she said this or she did this, or you know this and that, like so I can see where you girls are coming from. Because we actually asked Chelsea this last week too, like did it seem that extreme in the moment? And she said no, like she said it was a conversation, and so I get that. Like when you add in the music and the like facial expressions and the reactions from everyone, it seems so much more so I can imagine being back like in your shoes. It probably came across differently than it did as a viewer, and like the Sarah stuff aside, Now I think overall the past couple weeks of what we're seeing is more so like more in general, when the new girls come in and there's this whole mentality of like the Varsity and the JV and of course then you have Victoria, who I feel like she's on her she's on her own different level that is just not to me condonible where she's calling these girls sluts and horrors and hoes. And I think for me, as if you were, like I wish that more people other than just Katie stood up stood up for the new girls, stood up against Victoria using this language stuff like that. So in that regard, and I get, like, you know, if you're if you feel offended and if you feel upset, like that's one thing, but it's the name calling, like in the nastiness and the cruelty of the words and the language that we're seeing to certain girls, Like that's where it rubs me such the wrong way. Do you watch that back now, and like, do you have any regrets in that regard? Do you wish you would have stood up a little bit more against Victoria or like stood up for those new girls coming in? So when the new girls the first night that the new girls came, I cried my eyes out because I had become close with Kayla in the house and seeing her leave, I felt as though, you know, Matt was choosing woman that he had just met that night over very accomplished like super smart, amazing woman. And because I didn't know the new girls yet and I didn't know their situation, I you know, I felt hurt for my friends that I had met over the past few weeks. So that was difficult and it definitely adds a little bit of tension off the bat. But my mentality towards the new girls, I tried to just think of it as though, it kind of stinks that we've all invested time thus far, and we've really been broken open to this process and been so vulnerable with Matt thus far. It stinks to see him seems like give up on relationships that he had been starting over the past few weeks. But at the same time, him being able to explore for new relationships meant that I at the end would be getting this version of him that had seen all there was out there and still chosen me. So that was my mentality going through it was that now he just gets to explore more relationships and that in the end strengthens yours. But you can see how like the audience, you know, can fiel a certain way by what they're saying. I mean, I would say seeing the escort rumor situation was absolutely horrible. To me because wild number one, which I said right off the bat, was if she is an escort. Sex workers' rights have become such like a way more transparent topic in our culture, and I would hate for this show to make an entire industry look like a negative thing. When if it is consensual, if it's legal, if these people are getting paid for their work, that's awesome. On the other hand, I still recognize that there is stigma around that work, So saying somebody is something or does that job is incredibly not okay. And if it happened to me, I would be so upset. And watching Brittany how she reacted to that, I applaud her because I think I don't think I would be able to continue with the whole process if something like that, if I had to deal with that through it and also know that after leaving the show, this would be tied to my reputation just because of the societal stigma that unfortunately still surrounds that work. Well, and then what was her name? Hannah, Anna? Anna? But and Anna brought it with the intent to be malicious. She was trying to be negative or to bring something to the table that was negative to Brittany, which is what made it worse. I don't know what Anna. I'm actually I'm an call her Hannah, you know what I mean? So she called Brittany out of her name as an escort. I'm a caller out of her name too. I don't think Hannah. I don't know what Hannah was doing. But the great thing is is that finally we see Matt shut it down. And that's what I really appreciated. I thought, where are we going with the storyline? This cannot be a whole storyline? Is this is a really bad look. But to see that he got down to the to the issue, saw what the problem was and shut it down. It was almost like a cleansing of the house. Between that and Victoria going home, I said, whoa, they must feel so much like it's like it's like to stay at home orders being lifted, you know what I mean, Like you feel like you can breathe. I was like, finally we can actually just focus on our love stories, like each of us. Because prior to Anna leaving and the whole Victoria drama every week every Rose ceremony, it was just like why am I even here? Like I am just constantly talking about girls in the house, you know, an interview. It was just like questions about that, questions about the drama and all of that, and I'm just like, I can I just like have a few minutes with Matt because I need to figure out do I like him? Because I have had five minutes here and there with him and the rest of the time has been consumed by drama in the house and that was so just unfortunate to me. So seeing him handle that situation, I was like, like, you look really good right now, You're looking amazing, because thank gosh, that was handled. It was like so much drama for no reason I and I don't want to fix it on the girls that left in the drama too too much. I do want to get into, of course, your time with Matt. But I want to ask you this because you're obviously the guests we have this week. I truly would ask probably any guest, any woman that was living in the resort at this time, because I think there's a disconnect. Where as a viewer, you know, I'm seeing a lot of this drama and the cattiness with some of the women like Victoria and Anna and MJ go down and so as a viewer, I'm witnessing this, But then some of these women are thinking that, like they aren't doing anything wrong and that they're great and that they deserve apologies and so like, and you know them because you obviously lived with them for a small amount of time, and so like, is there just a disconnect with what I'm seeing? Like it's like, do you truly think that they were in the wrong? Because I keep seeing Victoria being like, you know, my intentions were good. I'm not a malicious person. But at the end of the day, it's like you're continue only calling these women these terrible names, but yet you think that you're Matt's wife, and then no one else here is good for him? Like was she always like that? Like did anyone at one, like besides Katie say like, hey, like stop with the bullshit, stop with the name calling, stop with this trash talk. Like we're like, am I just missing some disconnect there with some of these girls? Yeah? I mean there were times. The thing about Victoria is that she I honestly, I'm like, you should have a comedy special because you are such a talented comedian. She's very where but where are we? Where is this? Where is this comedic act. We are, we Are, It is so not coming through the television screen. Yeah, I have to get to last. So that number one is a side of her that I don't think it's very seen on the show. And then also she opened up to me and a few other girls about traumas that she has dealt with in her life, and I would say that that's the type of saying where it is like you. I wish that side of her was shown because I think it would elucidate why maybe she acts certain ways towards other people. I don't know if she was willing to open up about that to Matt, so I'm wondering why it isn't shown. But again, people, you know, are two dimensional and multidimensional in person, and that doesn't always come across on screen. But I will say with a lot of the things that she has said that I didn't see her say, a lot of the very derogatory lane when she uses, especially towards the New Girls, was absolutely disgusting to watch. So I'm not going to defend her, but I will say that there are sides of her that you don't see. But it's definitely like unforgivable. A lot of the things that she said. Yeah, I've never seen a person who's so who lacks such self awareness. She's truly delusion personified. Enough about her because she's gone. Now, yeah, so we assume she's not coming back. I thought we thought it was going to be longer. So I really appreciate that that we can move past talking about her. But let's talk about you. You finally got your one on one. Now. I know it may seem like you waited forever, but this is peak time to yet you're one on one. It is it Truly it's a sweet spot because you've been building on your relationship and then you get it in the middle of the season as opposed too. Sorry, Becca, I know you were a first date. You got the first date, but a first dat or it's like they get so excited and everything kind of goes down from there and like it's just a hard spot to be it. So you get your one on one. Not only do you get your one on one, but Matt remember something very special that you told him, which, let's be honest with men, we're always like, are you listening to me? Did you hear what I said? You didn't have to question that with Matt, he was listening to you, and he planned an entire date around something that was very sentimental and brought a piece of home, you know, to nim Micolon for you. How did that feel? And just like just that feeling of getting that one on one. Yeah, I mean I literally have chills now as you're saying that, because I cried when I got the date card because I just felt so seen and you're, you know, in this house with so many beautiful women and you know, other relationships or progressing. And to think that he remembered the fact that I, you know, that cooking is so important to my family and you know, having a mom that's so busy and being like cooking is the only time that we have together a lot of the time. So it's it was so important to me. And I felt so connected to my mom during my date and to my family. So yeah, I get chills again, like thinking about that. It was truly the best date that I could have had. You know, there were other situations where I was like, Wow, I wish I could have gone skydiving, or like, I'm such a risk taker, so I love like the ATV date would be so fun, but having that sentiment in the date made it. It's so romantic, so I couldn't have asked for something more perfect. And I think it's special to not only for the fact that he remembered something that you're you know that is so personal to you, but it's also a great date where you probably had a lot of time together. When you're out, you know, doing something more adventurous, you don't get you don't get to talk as much. It's more muddled by like what you're doing and moving from A to B. Like here, your date replicated what real life could be and that's something that you said, like this, you know, tonight is what our life could look like, which I think is really special. You also did mention in that conversation with Met that you were falling in love with him. Yeah, so I want to know, and I'm sure all of our listeners do too, Like when was the moment where you were kind of clicked where you're like this could work, this, he could be the one, and like it could be us at the end of this, Like when was that moment for you? Yeah, Oh my gosh, I feel like to my stomach saying it. But I am a person that in previous relationships, I get the ick real quick, like after like once the relationship goes into like okay, this could be something very serious. Usually I run for the hills. And that's pretty cringey. Guy. He does a lot of like goofy stuff. Oh I'm glad we're acknowledging that. At the point where I saw him wipe out skateboarding and I was like, wow, you are still so hot to me, I was like, what, Like, I'm simp I am this is it's just like you. It's so I mean, you're asking me to explain what falling in love is like, which like there's only metaphors to explain that. But I think for me, it's like you love every part of that person, the cringing parts, the amazing parts that just like make Matt a one of a kind human being. But yeah, it's so hard to explain. But it's a feeling like you're at the top of a roller coaster right before you go down. Yeah's feeling. That's a good one. That's a good metaphor. I feel like a lot of people think they know who you are because just knowing like who your mom is or where you come from, people think that it's easy to generalize who kid is and you've probably dealt with that your entire life. And now you're on TV, so you're on this public stage for people to have their opinions about you. I feel like there was a conversation that you and Matt had with one another where he asked you what the future would look like, and you know, you basically say, and I'm paraphrasing, that it would look like this, like a date night would be like this with you and for you. Do you feel like people have a misconception about how you live your life and what a relationship with you looks like? And yeah, because you do come from a glamorous life, which listen, don't be ashamed of that. When you rolled up, was it a rolls that you rolled up in? Whatever you rolled up in? I was Bentley whatever you rolled up and I was like, get it, girl, I'll take your nimmicolon and I'll raise it three. I'll raise it to my spot and I have it. Yeah. I mean, I think people think that my life is like gossip Girl, and I've gotten the Blair Waldorf thing and I've kind of like played into it a little bit. But obviously it's oh my gosh. This is yeah, this is something that I've struggled with my entire life. And to say struggled with it just means that, like, I have been given so much in my life and I've had so many amazing opportunities and experiences that you know, it's yeah, with all of that comes some explaining and some rightful you know, people saying you are so privileged. Yes, I know that. I try all the time to be comfortable with that. And you know, at the end of the day, it's not like I'm going to fashion shows every day. That's part of my life, the glamorous things. Yes, I've been able to experience a lot of that, but it doesn't mean that I'm not down to cook dinner at home. I'm very much an introvert, so I do like if I'm not out to events or whatever, I love being at home, Like I love, you know, just hanging out of my sweatpants or whatever. So it is it's something that you would only see if you're one of my friends or someone I'm dating. I want to ask you this and kind of going into just your life because you are you were the youngest woman on this season. Correct, But it's interesting because we had the same conversation with Noah last season because he was also the youngest and he got a lot of crap for it from the other guys in the in the house. And for you, like age doesn't dictate experience, like you've obviously experienced a lot of really cool, unique things in your life that most people probably haven't, and like talking to you and just watching you also on TV, like you can stand the drama, you can hold your own. But did you ever get flat from any of the girls regarding your age or was that something that because they got to know you and how you brought up in these different experience experiences that you lived through, was it not ever really an issue. I mean, I don't know what they would say now, but when we were there, I think a lot of the women were very surprised at how mature I was from age, And yeah, I think that comes from growing up in New York City, having a lot of experiences at a very young age. I mean I started going out when I was fourteen. I don't know if I'm along troll me too, but like I had an idea when I was very young and was going to clubs when I was very young. So at this point, I'm like, can I just have a glass of wine and go to bed at nine pm? Like woman after my own heart? I always say I turned thirty before I turned twenty one, so I and I think that that came across to all of the women that were in the house with me. Who were you the closest to in the house? Piper? Really? Yeah, we haven't seen a lot of Piper. I know, finally she's getting she's getting more time, which is so important because she is hilarious and honestly, her face, her facial expressions like give me life throughout the entire show. So yeah, she's one of a kind. Um. So obviously coming down to this show and you know, you no one ever knows what to expect. It's like, you know the basics of it, Like you're going you're going to meet twenty five thirty women, you're all, you know, vying for one man's heart. You know the basics of it. But what was one thing that once you were there that you really learned about yourself? I mean I might be surprising for some of you, but I am not a confrontational person at all in my life. I never have drama with my friends, or It's very hard for me to stand up for myself a lot of the time in my life because I'm more of an arbiter, and I think that comes from growing up with divorce parents. And I would say that I would mostly in my life I would prefer to just be comfortable and safe than sometimes to stand up for myself. But being in such a shortened and very intense experience made me want to stand up for myself more, which was honestly a growing experience for me and something that I've taken into my life now. I try not to be as explosive with it as I am at times on the show, but I think it's very very important to stand up for yourself and not turn the other cheek in a lot of situations. My last question for you is, we've seen the show be a certain way up to it seems like this point like things were starting to turn. Is that the case, Like, I know you can't tell us what happens, but if you can give us a hint, do things start to change. Do we see more love stories come out? Or is it just because I mean also in this episode, we saw MJ and she was like oh, y'all thought it was done because Victoria's gone. You know, hold my beer, I got this MJ the person, not the vibrator. So is do we see things start to change? Oh my god? Yeah, well hello, they do because Heather comes give us a sleeping about that. We don't like that. I mean, yeah, so Heather comes and that was at that point I was just like, give me a break, like, yeah, one more thing after the other. So, yeah, there's there's a little bit of drama. So but I've kept it. Definitely. It starts to get serious and that and get to the point where like we're all really examining our relationships and kind of focusing in on ourselves and thank gosh, not talking about the drama in the house anymore. Good good, good good. Viewers want to hear that, our listeners will want to hear that. Um. Before I get to the last question, I do want to ask you this. And you know, it's funny because obviously Manhattan is a huge city, but you know, it's still a small world. And Natasha, our dear friend who we love so much. You know, she was on Peter season. We know that you guys have met previously. Did you ever reach out to her before coming on the show to get any advice or to gauge kind of like what you're getting yourself into. Yeah, So I met Natasha through my family friend who I've known and he's known me for my entire life, and I did reach out to her during the casting process when I was deciding is this right for me? And she definitely she warned me about a few things that she faced, especially just like that hate online and some of her struggles with that. But that you know, I've always kind of faced that sort of hate and criticism just from being in the public eye since I was little, so I'm more used to that. It's definitely on a bigger scale now and it's very nasty. And I won't say that I'm not affected by it, because it does affect me, but I'm definitely pretty used to it at this point. And I would say she definitely gave me some words of advice in terms of, like she said that she met some of her best friends on the show, and you know, it is worth the risk of what might happen after and sort of the negative attention on you for this amazing opportunity to hopefully, like meet the love of your life. UM, And so yeah, I took the leap based on that advice. Well you've been smiling. I mean, do you meet the love of your life? I can't you want to talk about him? She's good, she's good, she's prepped. UM. Okay, Actually one more question before I get to like the final final that we ask all of our guests. UM, So, like what is your five year plan like in a perfect ideal world, you know, like once you finished school, Like, what does your life look like. I believe I'll work in fashion after school. Um, and that's what I'm going to school for. But a huge part of my life has always been health and wellness. UM. So that is something that I think I will take through whatever career I have. UM. Is definitely like an emphasis on mental health and physical health. So yeah, that's awesome. Great, Well we can't see. I mean, like, if you have someone like your mom leading the way, I have no doubt that great things will come from you for sure. Okay, I promise this is our very last question, and we ask all of our guests this. Like I said, but overall, up until this point, what was your rose and what was your thorn of the journey? I would say the rose was, well, I'll do the thorn first. Is easy. Is the drama and the house, and the response to the drama and the house towards me, the negative response, that's not fun. But I'll end on the rose and say that I never thought that I could be so vulnerable with someone. And I also didn't think that I would be able to let my walls down in such a way that I did, and it it just it broke me open in a way that I know I'll be able to take into the rest of my life. And I'm so thankful for that. That's really great, that's really beautiful. Wait, wait before we go, we don't know what happens the rest of the season, Like this is the first season. I always say this, I'm going in totally blind, like, don't know any spoilers. So I don't know what happens with you. But if it doesn't work out with Matt, would we potentially see you on the shores of Paradise one day? So I don't know about that, we'll see I don't blame him. It's a difference. Shit, y'all live in Paradise. Okay, this is this. I don't know how I would feel about women showing up randomly that you sign up for that in Paradise. You don't sign up for that on the Bachelor. So yeah, they got the short end of the stick. Yeah, I just I don't even know how. I am never negative about how you guys responded to the women coming because I don't know how I would respond to that, Like, it's just it's unfair to Matt, it's unfair to you guys. It's just it's a fit of the women coming in late. It's just a mess. So it's only entertaining for the people who watch it. I but then think of how potentially easy parents, I'll think about it, think about think about it before before you step on those on those shore as Paradise. Yeah, it has been an absolute pleasure having you on UM And when you're in LA, I'll bring you some more, don't If you like sparkman wine, I'll drop some off. But we just are glad that you were able to take some time out of your busy day, your crazy schedule to be with us and tell with us they're having me. Yeah, thanks for being here, but nerves are gone. Good, Good, take care, enjoy the way Best Coast and yeah, we can't wait to keep watching you on the show. M Well, hopefully see you again soon. Okay, how great was Kit? It's nice that she could come on the podcast and clear up some misconceptions that people have about her, which I feel like that's low hanging fruit, right. It's easy to pick on the girl who you know, it's like Karen on my season, Like it's easy to try to sum her up and think you know who she is. And I'm happy that she was able to speak her piece on Bachelor Happy Hour. I am too, And you know, we gotta we gotta learn by now that you can't just judge somebody by the by their bio. And she's so much more than a social light. Like she's so much going on. I can't wait to see where life takes her. And even though she is the youngest woman on this season, like she's lived a life and she still seems so mature and grounded and like she's finding her way in this world. And so, you know, I always love getting to know these women most yeah, I will say most of them, yeah, yeah, yeah, most of them. But we hope you guys loved her too. We hope you guys enjoyed the podcast, and she gave us a really good tease about what's to come. You know, a lot of you have been frustrated about all the drama that we're seeing. We're what five six episodes and we're in the middle of the season at this point, and she kind of alluded to we're going to see more love stories and we're going to see more other sides of these women. So that's really promising. So, you know, here's to better days ahead, you know, for Matt James this season. So thank you, guys so much for hanging out with us. We're so excited for next week's episode, and the next, and the next and the next, until we get to the end of this thing and see how it all unfolds. Keep writing us, letting us know your thoughts, your comments, your constructive criticism. Will take them, we'll take them on, we'll take them into consideration, and we will put them into this podcast. All right, guys, we have grocery Store Joe on here to tell us what we can expect to hear on Clickbait this week. Rachel and back at, thanks so much for letting me hap on. We have a brand new episode of clickbait it out right now, we have the one and only Ben Higgins on and like always, we break down Bachelor Nation and we have a very interesting clickbait for you vaccination selfies. Really, that's right. Make sure to follow us at Clickbait being on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and download wherever you're listening to your podcast right now. Well that sounds fun, make sure you check it out, guys. All right, you guys, we have Mike Johnson here to tell us all about this week's Talking It Out episode. Hey, Rachel, Becca, thank you guys so much for having me on this week. We got to talk to the real life hitch It's crazy Paul Brunson, who gave us so many incredible gyms about how to build a successful relationship. Make sure you guys tune in. Definitely going to check that one out. Thanks Mike. You know where to find us on Instagram at Bachter Happy Hour and on Facebook and Twitter you can find us at Batch Happy Hour. All right, you guys, here's something you haven't heard on Bachter Happy Hour before public service announcement. Here enter if you dare casting casting right now for single men, single men interested in finding that lucky woman in your life. You can apply to meet her at basternation dot com forward slash apply, I say it again and her if you dare, I can't wait to see you next season. And as always, guys, if you don't want to miss us, and don't want to miss any of our exiting episodes and amazing guests that we have on please subscribe to our podcasts. You can do that on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wondering App, or wherever you're listening to us right now. Thanks guys, take care,