Best of the Bus: Tom Segura Talks His Friendship With Bert Kreischer & His Start In Comedy

Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker 1: Finally track down the tom Sir girl, we talked to you on FaceTime while you were shooting Two Bears, One Cave one Day back in March. 00:00:07 Speaker 2: I believe we did. I think we've been on text threads. I saw you at the Machine premiere. It's been a whole thing, and I thought I was gonna do press run leading up to the fourth and I was like, I think could probably do like a stop in Nashville, and then they moved it this week and I was like, and then you guys said you're gonna be here. 00:00:22 Speaker 3: I was like, fuck, yeah, well yeah, we had we had to pivot because we're fans. 00:00:27 Speaker 4: We are massive fans. 00:00:28 Speaker 5: Oh thank you and uh. 00:00:30 Speaker 3: When Taylor and I was going back and forth, I was like, it doesn't sound I was like, I was texting with your guy or you. We were in that group channel, like it sounds like he might be coming through Nashville still, but the people in the bar solos, I was like, I think he's just doing New York. 00:00:41 Speaker 4: Then we found out you're doing New York. It's like, hey, we gotta oh, we got to get out. 00:00:44 Speaker 1: To New York too. We usually come out here a lot anyway, So nice. Is an easy little deal. 00:00:47 Speaker 5: It's a fun it's a fun stop, right it is. 00:00:50 Speaker 1: Usually when we come here, it's like we take the same flight we do this morning. We you know, five am cruise, get here at nine and then we spend all day here and they take the earliest flight out the next day. Kind yeah, it's always you didn't get off. 00:01:01 Speaker 2: Do you do like a little like, you know, enjoy New York, like go to an awesome place for dinner that kind of thing? 00:01:07 Speaker 1: Or no, not really, usually like rip around the corner, like what was that place we went to the other day. It's like right over here by the hotel. 00:01:12 Speaker 3: Oh hate butchering it because it's all a little like hole in the wall. Sometimes Yeah, yeah, it's awesome. Do you remember what it's called JP It's like pig something. 00:01:23 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:01:24 Speaker 1: She kind of gives me anxiety though, New York it's fucking stressful. Man. Where'd you grow up a group in Arizona? Okay? People? 00:01:31 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, this is a big departure. 00:01:33 Speaker 1: Yeah, you get off you just like I'm on the highway and we're in our uber and we're driving by. He's actually watching her special on the way here, and I'm just looking out at these apartments with the windows that are so tiny, and I'm like, people just living there. People live in the size of what we're in right now. 00:01:47 Speaker 5: It's chaos. It's living in chaos. 00:01:49 Speaker 4: And then we hit the bagel shop. Russ and Daughters. 00:01:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a bagel shop, and I'm thinking to myself, dude, this is it literally was like the scene of a gangster movie where two guys are like talking about people are still taking tickets. 00:02:00 Speaker 4: Yeah, We're sitting in there nervous. Yeah, like do we just wait? 00:02:03 Speaker 2: I have the thing though, where I like, I don't know, man, I I don't have to live in a city like this, but I have to be able to go to it like fairly regularly to kind of feel alive in a way. 00:02:16 Speaker 5: I need cities. 00:02:17 Speaker 1: We were having that conversation on the flight, like growing up in small towns, like you always think when you leave, like he went to Nebraska with to Michigan, You're like, some day I'm gonna be back in that small town. Some day I'm gonna be back. And there I went back recently, and I remember sitting there going, brother, if I came back here and just lived here, I don't think I think. I'm like I've seen too much now, I've gone outside too much where it's like I just can't go back to living that small town life. It's nothing against the people that live. 00:02:41 Speaker 5: In Could you live in ann Arbor? 00:02:43 Speaker 1: No? No, no, But it's more of like a it's a cool city. It's a cool city. However, like I remember playing and then seeing dudes come be like, yeah I played here back in the eighties and stuff like that. I don't think to myself, man, like go do something. Sure, don't let that be the identity, but you but it's that. 00:03:02 Speaker 2: That's that person, and and like they're them choosing to be like that's who I like, hoping that that gets them stuff. But you'd be going there if you wanted to to live life, is what I'm saying, you know what I mean, Like you wouldn't be like, hey remember me. 00:03:15 Speaker 4: You know, I'd be in Lincoln and we're in my Jersey still. 00:03:21 Speaker 5: You guys, remember I got the best tour of the facilities there. 00:03:26 Speaker 3: Oh really, dude, that fires me up. Don't they roll out the red carpet there? 00:03:29 Speaker 1: Man? 00:03:29 Speaker 5: It was awesome. 00:03:30 Speaker 1: I saw Bert there last week. 00:03:31 Speaker 4: I was like, hey, they take a carry and they're like, oh, bro, they are the best. 00:03:34 Speaker 5: It's one of my funt because I'm I love college football. Like I love college football. 00:03:39 Speaker 2: I think it's all based on like kind of like your household growing up, you know what I mean, Like kids who guys who are like I love baseball, It's like, yeah, your dad loved baseball, right, Like that's kind of like. 00:03:48 Speaker 5: What they were exposed to. So my dad loved college football. So we were college football. 00:03:53 Speaker 4: There's a team and that this this ambulance or this fire truck in New York. 00:04:00 Speaker 5: Yeah, someone just got shot in the head. 00:04:03 Speaker 1: Right now, there's a strike going on, protests, March happening. What was your what was your squad growing up? 00:04:11 Speaker 2: Or so it there's a little bit of like move I moved a lot as a kid, but I basically became super hardcore FSU fan. But I'm like, think about it, like I'm I'm born in seventy nine, so like in the eighties is when I'm watching the game and like kind of understanding what I'm watching. 00:04:30 Speaker 1: And then we moved to Florida. 00:04:32 Speaker 2: So if you moved to Florida at the height of in the nineties, you're gonna pick one of the Big three at the time, and so I was just like big FSU fan. It's funny because I was thinking about this, how when you hang out with like we talked to like pro players, sometimes they talk to you like you could have to Like A J Hawk was at my house and we were talking about he knows I'm a big fan, and I was I love like hearing like recruiting story, like. 00:04:58 Speaker 5: How'd you pick? 00:04:58 Speaker 1: You know? What was it? 00:04:59 Speaker 6: Like? 00:04:59 Speaker 5: What was the tr transition? Like he's like, why didn't you? 00:05:02 Speaker 7: Uh? 00:05:02 Speaker 5: Why didn't you play at FSU? And I was like what he's like a football I was like what. 00:05:08 Speaker 1: He goes, why didn't you play there? 00:05:09 Speaker 2: And I go in the late nineteen nineties and he's like, yeah, you could have played there. 00:05:13 Speaker 5: I was like, what are you talking about? 00:05:14 Speaker 2: Who would I have fucking backed up Corey Simon Like what are you talking about? 00:05:18 Speaker 6: Man? 00:05:18 Speaker 5: He's like he's like, you could have played there. 00:05:20 Speaker 2: I was like, I couldn't have fucking watched their jerseys they would have Like He's like, I go, you, I think you're thinking could you have played there? 00:05:27 Speaker 5: You could have played there. I couldn't have fucking it wouldn't have let me try out for the team there. 00:05:31 Speaker 1: Did you play ball growing up? 00:05:33 Speaker 5: I played at high school. 00:05:33 Speaker 4: He's like, you played? 00:05:36 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:05:36 Speaker 2: I mean I was. I was decent. I was, you know, I was started. I played both ways, but I wasn't like. I got recruited by D two schools and a couple of D threes. I was gonna play and I One of the coaches called me the week before camp in August, this is what would have been my freshman year, and he was we're excited to see you. This is like a small school in Virginia. And I was like what. He's like, you're you all ready for tomorrow. I was like, I'm not coming to school there. He was like what. I was like, oh yeah. You guys called in like June and said that I had to take a math class to go to school there. 00:06:10 Speaker 5: So I didn't take that class. 00:06:12 Speaker 1: What was gonna happen? 00:06:13 Speaker 5: He was like, you're not coming tomorrow? Like he's like, camp starts tomorrow. I was like, no, I'm going to a different school. He was like what the fuck? 00:06:18 Speaker 1: Man? I was like, nobody told you. He was like no, So he hung up with the phone. He's like whatever. Yeah. 00:06:23 Speaker 5: He was like I guess we don't have a center. So you played college ball. 00:06:27 Speaker 3: No, he almost played college and you said you went to another school. 00:06:31 Speaker 5: I didn't. 00:06:31 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, not not, but not for playing that. 00:06:33 Speaker 1: That is a d two story though, because like I don't know how it was for you, well when you did. I got there like June, my freshman year before, like going to my freshman right, Like, you get there a couple of months before, and then you take a shit. 00:06:42 Speaker 4: Out senior class or not senior summer class. 00:06:44 Speaker 1: Yeah, you take summer classes like your first couple of credits and dip the toe in before you really hit the full schedule in the fall. 00:06:49 Speaker 3: Because it's like the football players and the Asians all take a summer class. 00:06:53 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no doubt about it. There's dude, college football is. I love that atmosphere, Dude. I just watched a video night they had. 00:07:01 Speaker 2: It was one of those college like I follow like a couple of accounts, and they were recapping the ten loudest moments of last season. It was just like random games and watching the slides of the ten loudest moments, I got goosebumps, Like I was like, oh, like games, I don't even give a fuck about just yeah hearing, because the pandemonium at those games is so different like NFL's. You know, it is the top two, you're the best players, obviously the best game, but the college atmosphere is so fucking bombed you can't. 00:07:31 Speaker 4: Yeah, the college like you get the fans. 00:07:33 Speaker 1: They like to have chance and they do stuff in the fourth quarter and then it's it is a totally different scene. 00:07:39 Speaker 2: I'll go to all of them too, like people like, yeah, I grew up a fic. But like every time we're on tour, if we're in a college town, I always like tell my tour manager call that fucking school, see if we can do a tour. I love the tour. I don't give a fuck if it's sec big ten big. I just love being around and like I just like coaches and like, you know, even like the equipment guys. They are always like so fired up about they're the best dude, and they fucking they're like all right, you know, they give you the tour. They're like these are the jerseys, and like give me that ship, take all the gloves. We take it all. 00:08:10 Speaker 1: Hell yeah we oh fuck yeah, we do. 00:08:13 Speaker 4: Like the recruiting photos and shit too, like you should. 00:08:16 Speaker 1: Oh dude. 00:08:17 Speaker 2: Yeahs the craziest thing because I was in Buffalo and I got like a tour of the Bills place and they have like they did a new they're going to do a new stadium, but they have a newer facility so for like you know, it's an NFL's like facility. It's nice, right, it's like pretty modern. They're showing us all those ship and they're going like that was pretty impressive. We go to Baton Rouge and we're like, what is happening? I mean, it was like Jeff Bezos's like version, He's like, is this what a college thing's like? 00:08:47 Speaker 1: Like? 00:08:47 Speaker 2: We were like, I mean, we walked down this hallway that's dark, and I'm like, what's going on? And it's like lit but dark, And then when you turn, you just turn and these glass doors automatically open, and then it's it's like heaven. It's like like super bright. And you see a silhouette of a LSU player and you're like what the fuck? And you walk down the hall and then there's like these statues with different LSU get and they're like, yeah, this is the this is where we take recruits. I'm like, yeah, they all sign right, and they're like yeah. Usually when they get to hear they're like, I want to come. And then you turn into the locker room and it looks like Emirates first class. Fucking it looks like a first class so I guess we modeled after first class international chairs, Like yeah, and they go. We monitored that our players are not getting enough sleep, so we encourage them to sleep here. And then they had an air vent like in where they put their shit so that it never smells in the locker like all this shit. I was like, what the fuck, man, It's like a one hundred million dollar locker room. And I was like, all right, this is like. 00:09:53 Speaker 3: That's one of the best facilities I think we've ever seen. We were out there in the spring doing our spring tour and we got the you painting that picture, like especially when you get through the sliding doors and are unreal. 00:10:04 Speaker 5: Right and you imagine like you're eighteen and you're like. 00:10:06 Speaker 1: Uh, imagine go into Oregon like we were nine graduating and that was when like Oregon was at at the top of their game. New uniforms every single week, new uniform styles. Nike They're putting everything in there, and you see the facilities. College facilities are so much different than NFL. 00:10:22 Speaker 2: Don't I Mean I kind of go like for especially for the guys that are like literally going from one to the next party. 00:10:28 Speaker 5: You've got to be like, the fuck is this? 00:10:29 Speaker 1: Oh dude? 00:10:30 Speaker 4: Yeah, the money goes into the players in the NFL. 00:10:33 Speaker 1: Yeah, college all right? 00:10:35 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:10:36 Speaker 1: The funny thing about Baton Rouge and I love Louisiana, but if you go on campus at LSU, You're like, this is maybe the nicest place I've ever been in my life. Like, the campus is beautiful, all the buildings are the same color, the all the plants are perfectly organized. You step one foot off that campus and you're like, where the fuck did I know? 00:10:54 Speaker 5: Yeah, it is a truly drawn well. 00:10:57 Speaker 1: We went through the country. 00:10:58 Speaker 2: My little sister went to Ole Miss And when you're in Oxford, it feels like a like a movie set of a college town. Like when you're in and around campus, you're like, this feels like make believe. Like you feel like they're gonna like, all right, cut and they're gonna move the fucking wall or something. But then you like drive out of Oxford and you're like, all right, we should fucking lock the doors. 00:11:20 Speaker 1: This is kind of weird, crazy man. 00:11:24 Speaker 3: What are some of the some of the best spots you've seen since you like to go on tour wherever you go? 00:11:29 Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, like the the l s U thing was mine bending, you know, I got I got the Nebraska tour and saw where uh and Domican's check went. 00:11:41 Speaker 5: That was nice to have to build the uh. 00:11:43 Speaker 1: The House of Spears, like that weight room, Yeah, the weight rooms. When did you go. 00:11:48 Speaker 5: Two years two years ago? 00:11:50 Speaker 1: I think, yeah, we're there. At that time, I heard some cool stories about him, about us. 00:12:00 Speaker 5: Fuck yeah, they were like, no, he's fucking crazier than you think. 00:12:04 Speaker 4: Let's hear a couple. 00:12:05 Speaker 5: I don't even know if I should tell these stories. 00:12:07 Speaker 4: I could, I could possibly confirm or deny that. 00:12:10 Speaker 5: It's like a real psychopath playing like you're like, this guy's crazy, Like no, this guy is crazy. 00:12:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not like definitely in between the white lines, but not not off the field. 00:12:21 Speaker 4: I don't know. 00:12:22 Speaker 1: But what was that story you told about getting up ride to the airport or something and you thought he was gonna beat the ship out of you. 00:12:28 Speaker 3: Yeah, he said like I'll pull the car over and fucking stomp on you because but you're in a car. Yeah, we were having a lunch somewhere, and then when we were driving him to the airport, I built up that I mustered up the courage to bring up him stomping on Aaron Rodgers. I was like, you're gonna so you were gonna say that the man upstairs is what happened, but you clearly stomped on twelve. 00:12:49 Speaker 1: And He's like, we can pull the car over now and. 00:12:53 Speaker 5: I'll stop. 00:12:54 Speaker 4: I'll stomp your hass out. But you know, that's just fun play. 00:12:58 Speaker 1: He's not a psychopath at all. 00:13:00 Speaker 4: No, not at all. 00:13:01 Speaker 1: That's just fun. 00:13:01 Speaker 4: That's just us being us being dudes. 00:13:03 Speaker 2: It was all all the stories I heard were like atra because obviously, like everybody's more aware of the NFL stuff on tape. Yeah, hey, let's let's watch a compilation of Sue trying to kill people. 00:13:19 Speaker 1: You're like, this is fucking nuts, crazy. 00:13:21 Speaker 2: And like for a guy that big, that strong, and that upset bro. 00:13:27 Speaker 3: And he never got tired in any of the workouts, it was truly unfucking real. And even when they say like at Tampa because Sue went to Tampa to Miami. No, no, he also he also played Yeah, he played at Miami too, but. 00:13:40 Speaker 8: When he played for Tampa, multiple stops a great Miami Tampa right right, But when he was at Tampa and I was talking to Levante David, who is an unreal linebacker, but I was like, Yo, what's that. 00:13:52 Speaker 3: What's Sue like in the locker rooms now? Because we're all kind of like around the same kind of generation. And he's like, like, Sue's one of the savviest businessmen, like in the NFL, like in between meetings, right after practice, in between all this stuff. He's like on conference calls, like handling meetings like Warren Buffett is like in his council. 00:14:10 Speaker 4: It's insane. Like the dude is super impressive. 00:14:12 Speaker 3: He had an engineering degree at Nebraska, but an absolute, to your point, an absolute psychle path on the field, Like we were at Baylor and he got a he got a penalty for tackling the quarterback too hard. This was before all the protecting the quarterback stuff count because he essentially like choke slam the Baylor quarterback. 00:14:29 Speaker 1: It was insane. 00:14:29 Speaker 3: The ocoy said he was puking up blood after the big twelve championship because. 00:14:33 Speaker 2: He there's a couple of stories that I honestly would tell you. I'll tell you off. I really don't feel like I should tell you. There's the one that I think it's fun to tell that I heard when I was there. It was like, how you know they do this thing? It's so fucking weird that when there's bowl games, they're like, why don't you guys like have dinner together the night before, like right like you're having like you're playing Texas in a bowl game. 00:14:55 Speaker 5: They're like, how about both teams have dinner? Put you in a banquet hall, the banquet petition what? Yeah, Even when you're watching it from you're like, why are they having dinner? 00:15:04 Speaker 2: And then like they're everybody's like a table away. So I guess when for the bowl game that year it was Nebraska. I forget who maybe Kansas is Kansas State or something. 00:15:15 Speaker 4: We played when SUSI Clemson and Arizona. 00:15:19 Speaker 5: May So there's some bowl guy. Let's just say it's Arizona. 00:15:23 Speaker 2: So then they go all right, and he's having his monster year right like like he's having a unstoppable He's getting every award. 00:15:31 Speaker 5: So they're at the like the. 00:15:33 Speaker 2: ESPN people come to like dinner and they're like, how's the chicken, and they're asking everybody stupid shit. And then they ask the the center for like let's say Arizona, like, oh, you have to face in DOMINICANSU tomorrow and he's he's won every award for defensive Player of the year. How do you feel about that? And he goes, I'm not that worried about it, and he said they when I heard the story, they said that all the Nebraska guys, they were right because they were all sitting together. They just went like like they just leaned forward and they're like, oh shit, and they saw Sue just like okay, like and they're they're like, we already knew, like right then that it was gonna be a problem. And he goes in the game. In the game, Sue picked him up like like basically over his head and threw him headfirst down onto his head onto the center and like he had a neck injury and left the game. 00:16:33 Speaker 1: I mean, I was like, God, so like it was all By the time I got in the league, Sue was out of Detroit and he was in Miami or whatever. We played Miami, like two or three years in Miami and they're like, uh, there's all be always like older, savvy off. It's a lineman there, and they'd be like, whatever you do, do not talk to Sue. Don't talk And I was, yeah, like my rookie year and stuff like that was really mouthfee and I would I would talk to you know, try to talk shit to everybody. Yeah, And then I tried to talk ship to Sue and he kind of looked at me in the center in the huddle, grabbed me by the collar and told me to shut the fuck up because I don't have to deal with him. He's like, shut the fuck up. You do not do not talk to him anymore. And I was like, okay, wow enough he was like a three year I think with Brian Schwenky, I was like it was like there are those guys in the league that when they get a little older, they become a little bit more mellow. And I think Sue he signed a massive deal, one hundred million dollars deal at that point. Then it was like, just don't do it provoking, don't provoke them, don't poke the bear. If you poke the bear, Bear's gonna eat you. Be like Cocaine Bear wanted to be done. Yeah, you'll be fucking done. 00:17:34 Speaker 5: What was your ship talking? Like, like where you just like. 00:17:36 Speaker 1: My my shit talking baried in a lot of different ways. I'd hit I hit up with the classic like you know you're a pushy that type of stuff. But then there'd be times like the NFL is a super like it can be homophobic a lot of guys. We don't play that ship in the locker room, so some dude be mouthing off to me. We were playing the Jags one time. It was squere switching quarters, so like we're like walking in the middle of the field because we're like on the thirty yard line swift with the opposite thirty yards. Yeah, and one defensive lineman the three technique. He's walking behind me like I'm here all day, blah blah, you can't block me. And I turned around. I'm like, bro, you listen if that, if you don't stop talking, I'm gonna suck your dick and our center comes out of nowhere unprovoked. He goes and we swallow here too, and the rest of the game. He was like, what the fuck you just yeah, if you just say super gay things. The NFL players, Like I've had other players like go from like the Raiders to the Titans be like, Hey, what's up with seventy seven? Is he actually gay? Like what's what's the deal? Like that's it's a mind game. Yeah. 00:18:33 Speaker 3: When I was at the Raiders, was like, hey, so what's up with your Uh, what's up with your boys? 00:18:36 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just that's my guy. This is my guys. 00:18:39 Speaker 3: I'm more of like I champion everybody. I tell everybody it was a solid route. That was good, that was good because I want you. 00:18:44 Speaker 4: That's I need as much as I can to, Like, I got. 00:18:46 Speaker 2: A sneaky I've told the story before. I played in high school against Heath Evans. He was a fullback for like ten seasons in the NFL. He went to a really we played at small schools in Florida, and uh, I mean it was he was obviously different than like the average person you played against. It in high school, You're like, what in the fuck. It's like hitting a bank door, you know, like like every time you're like, god, damn. I mean he was just like he was built different. He was clearly gonna move on. And but so he played at a school that like they were terrible. He was the star player at a terrible school. Like that we would beat them, but he would still he would play. He played with like running back and linebackers, so he was still have like eighteen tackles in two hundred and thirty yards, right, but they would lose. But every single time you if you tackled them, I mean it would it would it take the whole team. He'd be like that was a great tackle. And you'd be like what and like we were so not you know, like like who does this sounds? And he would like he would pat us on the back. He's like, great effort. I was like, shut the fuck up, man. He would do it. It wasn't even for like a series, it was the entire game. 00:19:53 Speaker 5: Great effort, great block, you did a good job. 00:19:57 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:19:57 Speaker 5: Every time you're like what do you do? And then and he's actually he was religious. 00:20:00 Speaker 2: So he would say like God, like God bless and like do prayer stuff, And I was like is this, Like are you fucking with me? 00:20:09 Speaker 1: The funniest thing we talk about, like religion and football, which is so many religious guys, so many religious guys, But in the locker room after warm ups, they'll be rap music going on about eating, pushing, getting money and doing drugs, and then then it'll cut and it'll be like all right, prayer in the shower and everyone be like walking the shower and hold hands. Then as soon as they walk back out, press play back the fucking bitches getting money and all that stuff, and you're like, hey, does no one see this? 00:20:35 Speaker 2: And the NFL would never allow, like never allow their ship talking to air, Yeah, because they'll release, you know, the miked up stuff but it's all edited and cut. Yeah, that would be such a fucking dream. I always said I would pay it like a thousand dollars like season pass. But oh, we can hear the guys on that be like, hey, I'm gays, come suck the stick and yellow. 00:20:55 Speaker 1: I'd be like, all the best money, the best bet money you've ever had. 00:20:58 Speaker 3: And there's some great talkers out there, I mean DJ Sweringer. We talk about him from Swag game Cocks, Like, what. 00:21:05 Speaker 1: What was it? 00:21:05 Speaker 3: Was it you telling the story about him during the Outback Bowl. Yeah, the Outback Bowl pre game and all that. 00:21:11 Speaker 1: Returners are catching footballs and he pushed one of the returners out of the way, caught one of our footballs and kicked it into the stands. This is that Tampa Bay Stadium for a bowl game. And he goes, this is my fucking house, Get the fuck out of here. And I'm in the locker room just warming up in this little white returner Drew Diilio. Shout out, Drewdilio. He comes in hot mad and sure enough it was Swago. That dude was spoons swag. He is different now, he was a different cat. Whoa. Dudes are just like that, though some guys it varies. Man, Some dudes don't do not say a word. Some guys are super positive, some guys are super negative. It's like you never know who you're gonna get. Yeah, just never know. And it's how I mean, I think. 00:21:45 Speaker 2: I think it is how the the stress of competition and what you're about to do affects everyone differently. So for some people to perform in in that environment, it's hey, shut down, don't say a word. For some it's like this, The the stress of it makes them chirp a lot. Some of them like I'm gonna stay like it's that's why you just don't know what you're gonna get. But it's like it's like the stress of the. 00:22:09 Speaker 5: Unknown, like the unknown of battle, right, Like yeah, like you don't know what's gonna happen, and that it manifests itself differently through everybody. Like I mean, I seen guys who were like incredible athletes, incredible athletes shut down quite like right, not talk. They're like, my game does all my talk, you know what I mean. 00:22:28 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like a Rex burkhead. Like when Rex was at Nebraska. 00:22:32 Speaker 3: He was just a baller, but the dude was like, you know, just head down, yeah, hand the ball, the ref. 00:22:37 Speaker 2: Do his thing, and then when that guy does say something, it's so powerful. 00:22:40 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:22:41 Speaker 5: Yeah, we had a get Oh. We had a kid in high. 00:22:43 Speaker 2: School on our high school team who won the one hundred and two hundred meter track state championship. This kid is legit fast as fuck. I mean, he's the one hundred meter champion in Florida and he's our punt returner and corner. 00:22:57 Speaker 5: He's five to seven. 00:22:59 Speaker 2: He ended up playing it Citadel a corner at Citadel, But like he's five seven, one hundred and sixty pounds and looks like a fucking like a bodybuilder. 00:23:07 Speaker 1: Like a Tyreek Hill type. 00:23:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, like and you're I mean, and you're in high school and you're like, this guy is fucking this is insane, like his how talented he is, and he was super religious, and they would he was a workhorse, like he won games, you know what I mean, Like there's games we definitely would have lost that like he took a punt back kick off just and people, you know, when we played teams. 00:23:29 Speaker 5: With like those badass dudes would talk match. 00:23:32 Speaker 2: It and he would always always just hand the ball of the ref, never say anything. And then one time we played these punk mother like these guys that were such fucking dirty shit bags, and when they tried to hurt him, and he popped up when he was you could suck on my left nut to this kid, and we were all like, oh shit, like. 00:23:50 Speaker 1: Like Jay says that shit, like we just could. We couldn't believe it. 00:23:53 Speaker 2: But like everybody for like a week, we're just like going to practice, We're like. 00:23:58 Speaker 5: Suck on my left nut. He's like, ah, I was just you know, y in. 00:24:00 Speaker 1: The moment apologize for the game. Yeah, I spoke out during that drive. 00:24:04 Speaker 3: I think it's insane how dudes can talk shit and play at a high level because I'm thinking, like my conditioning can't take all that. Like I'm just trying to get back to the huddle, relay the play. I'm thinking, how these dudes just run. 00:24:15 Speaker 1: I have so much responsibility as a lineback with the green dot. 00:24:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, like and I you know, you just like subtle jokes out there. It's like, you know, I can't remember, but the first time we played, I know, like we tapped helmets. But if I'm like tapping a white guy out there on the ass, and hey, I can't believe we're out here? 00:24:27 Speaker 1: Am I right? Yeah? We get back. I remember Greg Olsen. 00:24:31 Speaker 3: I've told the story before, but Greg Olsen, I finally had my opportunity to start. It was like my second or third game starting, I believe. And I remember breaking up a pass over the middle. He just you know, buttoned up over the middle, and I broke it up and did the little you know, I did the little incomplete thing, and then I webbed him like Spider Man. He goes, who the fuck are you? What are you like third string? And I was like, hey, I worked for this spot, man, I work for this spot. And then like during the time out, he comes over, he like task me on the helmet and he's like, hey man, I'm really sorry for saying that. 00:24:57 Speaker 1: Like I know you work hard, I know this and that. 00:24:58 Speaker 4: No shit, it's all good. 00:25:00 Speaker 1: Bro, that's so good. 00:25:00 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is like, like, fuck, that's actually impressive to like, hey man, I respect you, you know what I mean. 00:25:09 Speaker 5: Absolutely if I hurt you in an emotional way, Adam. 00:25:13 Speaker 1: Yeah, the weirdest thing is playing against people that you've been you grew up watching. Yeah, Like we played The Raiders my second or third year and Charles Woodson was there, and I remember we're like on a timeout. I'm like, hey, dude, like you're fucking awesome, and it was so weird just to say and he's like thanks, young blood, preciate that. All right. Yeah, I'm like, I get the fuck out of here. Back to that. Yeah, you're like, hell, he's like, I'm forty two. You're like you're forty two years old. It's crazy. It's crazy. 00:25:36 Speaker 5: Yeah, And like I don't know if that's like because you hear stories, but like there were the stories about Woodson that people said they're like, yeah, he just like is that like he's not killing himself in the weight room or like he's just that's good than everybody. 00:25:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, I already was like an absolute you know, study. 00:25:57 Speaker 4: He was all about it, like the film room and everything else. 00:25:59 Speaker 2: That's the thing that impresses me the most when I watch like these pieces on players, because you just as a as a spectator, you just go like, oh, this is like a super gifted athlete we've seen, like you see athletes and you're like, wow, this guy's so just blessed right with his like physical abilities. Is that when you hear how committed some people are to studying shit, you're like, oh, that that's why they're great, Like they are gifted, right, But the dedication is other level. 00:26:28 Speaker 3: That's what keeps people in the league for a while too, is just the ability to play from the neck up and everything else, because your body ends up breaking down, Like yeah, you got to stay on top of your body and everything else. Oh, you gotta stay on top of your body and everything else. But that is like, that's short of the majority of the league. The guys that like stick around for a long time. You have to, like, I love this shit. You have to be if you're not a starter, if you're not out there on the field, you have to be like just a dependable backup and somebody like in my position and then like play special teams. Yeah, but yeah, you always hear the stories about like some of the greats that people come from, players that come from other teams, and they're coming on your team and they're telling you about these guys that you look up to on other teams, and they're like, man, so and so is in the you know, in the building doesn't leave till like seven or eight at night and everything, and you're just kind of like fascinated by it. 00:27:09 Speaker 2: Tony Gonzalez told me this thing that I thought was such a cool, like little insight. So he played like what seventeen seasons a tight end. 00:27:17 Speaker 5: It's fucking insane. 00:27:19 Speaker 2: And he's like, you know, I'm asking him like that because he's like fine, Like he just walks around. You're like you're okay, and he's like, well, he goes. You know, I figured out that like if I caught a ball and I see the guy coming right here and I'm on the sideline, and I just like, you know, cover up if he's coming this way, I'll just start to fall the way you know with the hit. 00:27:43 Speaker 5: Yeah, he goes, so a lot of times you would. 00:27:44 Speaker 2: Hear like ooh, like because it would look like I got blown up. He's like, I was already going in that direction, so that so that the hit wouldn't have the same level of impact, right, Because if I lean, I'm gonna fucking lean into him, it's gonna be up. We're gonna hit and I'm gonna feel it more. But if I know I'm about to get hit this way and I lean that way, He's like, it's less impact. And I was like, oh, that's fucking fat because like most people, or a lot of people I guess, would go, no, no, I'm gonna like, I'm gonna put my shoulder into this shit. 00:28:14 Speaker 5: And he was like no no. I was like, I'm trying to minimize the damage. He's like, I'm doing that for like twelve of the seasons I play. 00:28:21 Speaker 1: Did the ability to displace ego that's a big displacement of you. Yeah, if you're a lot of guys are like, I'm gonna try to show how hard I can run this, and then as you get older, you learn like, hey, this isn't forever. How can I make this as long as possible? Sounds like fucking did. 00:28:34 Speaker 2: It yeah, dude, I saw Stefan Diggs shoulder pads and they look like paper plates, and I was like, how the fuck? 00:28:42 Speaker 5: And the guy's like five seven. 00:28:44 Speaker 2: Or something and they're just like yeah, but like when he sees the guy, he just like scoots down. 00:28:50 Speaker 3: I mean, remember, uh, what's his day? Is Michael Bennett the d tackle for the Seahawks or the d ND. 00:28:56 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:28:56 Speaker 4: Remember he basically the wore like nothing. Yeah, he would come out there. 00:28:59 Speaker 1: There's like a one big shoulder pad and then a shoulder pad of one here he cut those off and tuck his jersey in. Yeah, where the baggiest jersey and shit. 00:29:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is something I completely don't understand, is like how you got Like when you start watching and you know, like you play in high school and you're all paded up, and then you see college and then you see NFL guys and you're like, are there no leg pads? Like doesn't everyone aren't everyone's legs fucking hurting? Like just just like just the pants on. You're like, there's no thigh pads anymore. 00:29:26 Speaker 1: It's like it's kind of pads hipads kind of go away in college. 00:29:30 Speaker 4: Yeah, college you have like the girdles or whatever. 00:29:34 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you kind of just go to a girdle or something that can with like the most small pad just to see like you're just making sure you don't get in trouble, like you're wearing the right appropriate attire, and then eventually to stop like really wearing anything. 00:29:46 Speaker 5: That's really crazy though. 00:29:47 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy because you're you're you're shedding things as competition gets higher and as everyone is bigger, faster and strong, you're like, I just fucking. 00:29:56 Speaker 1: Let it go. 00:29:56 Speaker 3: But also more you know, I know a lot of people, it's like you want to where you want to be like as light as possible because the game gets faster at every level and everything else. So you're trying to feel as free as possible while also like trying. 00:30:08 Speaker 1: To be a little bit protected. And I think it plays into looking better too. Pads. 00:30:15 Speaker 5: It's like it's not all about looking, it's not. 00:30:18 Speaker 1: All about you know what I mean, you want to I mean you see the guys, we all got the socks low high. Yeah, little things on there, like they're like there are dudes in there hours before the game getting their little ship right, the little black stuff. Yeah, oh yeah they do a whole bunch. 00:30:31 Speaker 4: Absolutely. 00:30:32 Speaker 3: Anytime you get a comment like, hey, com come on, man, you gotta do a little bit better than that, you're just thinking. 00:30:37 Speaker 1: Probably the worst trip he gets all day. Like you're just like, man, they're kind of killing like you kind of want to look good. You want to look like you do something. Yeah, like a dark visor. I wore a yes, the best looking, the best looking piece of attire in the end. Those are tight. 00:30:48 Speaker 2: And they used to have like in the nineties they had like the orange, like the reflective goals. 00:30:55 Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. 00:30:58 Speaker 2: You see a linebacker over the middle just like this, and he looks like a he looks like a terminator or something. Right, Like you just see gold reflective sheen. You don't see eyes. You're like, ooh, this is a badass look like that shit was. 00:31:11 Speaker 3: Just picturing like a ray Lewis from my hand. Yes, dude, with the orange and then you see the little the little ring go down with that linebacker face mask in the middle. 00:31:19 Speaker 2: That really is swaggy like that. Those teams were, like I remember when I was when we were in high school. I went to the get taped up and I asked the there was a lady that taped us. I was like, will you give me the Bruce Smith tape? You remember his tape? It would come over the hand like it was like a boxer's tape. So his hand was taped in addition to the wrist. It was like wrist and then here and she was like no. 00:31:43 Speaker 1: I was like. I was like, she's like for what I was like, from a fucking hand? 00:31:48 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:31:48 Speaker 5: I was like, I was like, Bruce Smith. She's like, you ain't Bruce Smith. 00:31:51 Speaker 1: I was like high school. High school trainers are hilarious. Yeah, they're just like catching hours. Yeah. Yeah. They want to tape the minimal amount of people they possibly can, of course, but that tape goes away too. In the NFL tape does people some people as you get older. As I got older, at least, I stopped taping my ankles. Stop taping, did you really? Yeah? 00:32:08 Speaker 5: I always felt so much more like, yeah, learn. 00:32:12 Speaker 1: About the body though you you would mobilize the ankle, then it puts more pressure on the knee, which puts more pressure on the hip, and then it's the back of the really and what about up here? Though? 00:32:20 Speaker 5: Nothing either I would wear. 00:32:21 Speaker 1: I went from tape and I started wearing wrist guards, so you just kind of strap them mon real fast. And then I broke this thumb so I had to put like a little brace on there, and then I tape like these two fingers. 00:32:29 Speaker 2: You remember everybody having tons of shit on. And then Reggie White just was like just put the jersey on, like just nothing, no gloves and then just take people and go. 00:32:39 Speaker 3: I always think it's badass when you see the dude just have their like like fingers taped. 00:32:44 Speaker 5: Yeah, the fingers a little bit. 00:32:46 Speaker 1: I feel like I got half our guys with their hand in the dirt. I think that ship is lame. 00:32:49 Speaker 4: I'm thinking of like DB's. 00:32:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, DB's got that looks hard, but like I do with this hand in the ground and he's got his knuckles in my bro, you ain't come on like if you don't wear gloves, you're a psychopath. To me, I thought of hitting somebody without gloves on. 00:33:01 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, kids, I couldn't out here. 00:33:03 Speaker 2: Can you imagine him, like he would just show up completely nothing and then take a like a three hundred and thirty pound guy with one with that hump move and go like this, and you see the guy like just go falling, live flying down like he'd launch a guy like ten yards. 00:33:19 Speaker 1: There is nothing more embarrassing than getting put on the ground like that. It has to be right unless you just catch one in the throat. You get put on your ass and then they make the sack and you're just like, dude, I am nothing. What feels What feels worse. 00:33:33 Speaker 2: Getting like having somebody stronger than you toss you, or somebody so fast that they just are past you and you're like fuck that, like they're they're back here, and you're like, what's just happened? 00:33:46 Speaker 1: Whiffing on somebody is tough, But I feel like for me, I could always like in my mind back, can you get change these couple of things. There's no worse feeling than having another man's hands on you and not have you can't do anything about it. You can't do it, and you're just like, I guess we're just gonna go where you want to go today. Wow. Yeah, that's a tough feeling. That's like the worst feeling actually ever. 00:34:03 Speaker 3: So it has to be too for like an old lineman, like I just feel guys in the trenches because I know for me, it's like you get out run or you get beat on your feet. 00:34:10 Speaker 4: I'm thinking, God damn it, they were all right, right, you know what I mean. 00:34:14 Speaker 1: Over the fucking ring cover. 00:34:16 Speaker 4: One with Compton in the game. 00:34:18 Speaker 3: But like if I get if I get bodied or something, you're kind of just like fuck on the way down. 00:34:23 Speaker 4: But yeah, you know, like Marshall Lenz, we always get got. 00:34:27 Speaker 1: Everyone gets got. 00:34:27 Speaker 3: But I feel like as an old lineman, it's got to be the like a demoralizing thing, like you just get manhandled in the trenches and you're like, you're a guy in the trenches. 00:34:35 Speaker 1: That has to feel. Yeah, when you stop playing football, when did you start comedy? When was that? 00:34:40 Speaker 6: Like? 00:34:40 Speaker 1: When did you do that was the path? Great transition? That's good. We've just been fucking talking. We've lowered all I want to talk about. 00:34:50 Speaker 2: I mean, so I get to college, I realize, like, you know, I'm not. It is weird because it becomes like you have a more of it, Like you know, it's like your identity. You're like, oh, typically, like what do you like? I play football in high school? You like, I'm a football player. That's what you think you are. And then you get to have college and you're like, I'm not. I'm definitely like there's players going to team meetings. I'm like, I'm ready to go. I'm like, oh, I don't play football, and then you're just like, uh, I don't know. I mean I loved doing comedy, so I'm making like comedy videos, you know, but like it's not even for there's not it's not the Internet. 00:35:22 Speaker 5: It's not like like I want to share this video. 00:35:24 Speaker 2: It's like they're they're like, make a video for communications class. 00:35:29 Speaker 5: That's boring, Like do a do a video about like. 00:35:34 Speaker 2: How how uh how the security works in the building, like you know, do like shows that you can do like a transition shot, and then I would make mine like a comedic version of it, you know, and then they were. 00:35:47 Speaker 5: Like the teacher like the fuck is this right? 00:35:49 Speaker 2: Like because I was trying to make it funny, right, And then I the more you do that, the more you like. 00:35:55 Speaker 5: I like this. 00:35:56 Speaker 2: I like this right, So you're I keep making like comedy esque sketches, but like for assignments. And then when I finally get out of college, I get out in two thousand and one, I graduate and then yeah, in June of two thousand and one, and then I moved to La January two thousand and two, Like I actually I remember that I arrive in La January two thousand and two on the day that it's a bowl game. It's Ohio State Miami is playing in that like a big time bowl game. And then I start doing I start going to improv classes at the Groundlings, which is like this renowned place where a lot of SNL people have come from. I start doing that in like April of two thousand and two, and I have guys that are in the class that are like, you should try stand up. Like they're just telling me, like, you should try stand up. You would like stand up. I was like all right, because they did stand up, And then a couple of them were like because I was like, what do you do? Like, I mean, I've seen stand up, but like how do you start? So I kind of tail them. They're like, just watch me, I'm gonna do spots tonight. So they go and do like a spot here, a spot there. I just follow them around and then one of them walks me into a place and like when they when the lady is like, oh, what's up to this guy? Nick, He's like, this is Tom He's a comic. And I'm like what's up? And she was like, oh, do you want to do like I have like an opening next Saturday. Do you want to do that spot? And I was like. 00:37:33 Speaker 5: Yeah, oh shit, and then she's like all right, You're booked. And then it's just kind of and then I was like, I'm doing a spot next Saturday, like I've never written material or and so then it was just it was just on from like once I did it, it is that like addictive. 00:37:45 Speaker 2: Are you either going to be like I'm not doing that again or like I got to do that again? And it was just like that. So that was two thousand and two, and then it was just a slow you know. I used to do like one spot like every two months, and I'd be like, yeah, I've been doing like doing some stand up, thinking that that's a lot. I mean, I used didn't know, like you have no kind of frame of reference for it, and the big clubs seem like so intimidating, so I would just do like smaller shows, you know, like someone would be like come to this bar and do a show, and I was I was kind of like scared to go into the clubs. And then it just kind of just you know, slow progression like grew from there. 00:38:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, when did it, like your first big break come with like breaking into the scene. 00:38:27 Speaker 2: Well, I I mean one of my friends was actually working for Jay Moore and Jay and he recommended me to be an opener and Jay let me do some opening. So that was definitely a break because the improvs like that own so many clubs they before Jay. I was like, can I, you know, work here, and they gave me a showcase. I always tease the guy now when I whenever I see him. His name is Matt Coman. I go, I got upstated I had a good set, like you know when you have like there's no like you can be delusional. But I'm like, I know when I don't do well, and I did well, and I was like, what's up? He goes, you definitely have something, like just keep at it. I was like, and that was it, Like he wouldn't get I was like, I have something, yeah, and he was like, yeah, just keep at it, and I'm like okay, and he didn't book me. But then when Jay requested me to open, then they were like, now you can do spots, you know what I mean, Like he gave the green light and then they were like, now you can do spots. So that was a that was a big deal because then I could work more regularly, get on stage more. 00:39:37 Speaker 1: So that was one. 00:39:38 Speaker 2: I did a couple of things on Comedy Central when people actually watched Comedy Central and like there was a stand. 00:39:45 Speaker 1: Upon there. 00:39:47 Speaker 4: Or whatever. 00:39:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was I thought that was actually for some people that changed their careers. It was called Comedy Central Presents, yeah, and that was that was actually the goal, right, Like the goal was to get because everybody who you fucking admired had done Comedy Central Presents, so like I just kept I mean, that's all I wanted to do. 00:40:10 Speaker 1: So I did. 00:40:10 Speaker 2: I did one of their shows. It was called Live at Gotham. That was used to be called Premium Blend, and then they made a new version called Live at Gotham. It was here at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York. 00:40:21 Speaker 5: I did that show that was supposed to be like the precursor to like getting it present. So then you would submit what you do is you send in fucking tape or DVD shit, yeah, and you'd be like, here's my thirty minute set, and then the lady was like, you know, you're gonna get one, but not this year, and you're like all right, so you'd work a whole other year, send in another set and she's like this is really good, not this year, like fuck. And then the third year I got it, and then I remember I had I had a good Presents because some people like it's one of those things where like it's like having like a bad combine outing, you know, like you go fuck, like I don't know, I. 00:41:02 Speaker 2: Just didn't run well, I didn't. I didn't I threw up two twenty five eight times, like this sucks. That happens to people, yeah, and they're still good. And so that happens on these tapings where you're like I hope this go and it went well, and I remember the lady that was producing it goes, this is gonna change your road life like touring. 00:41:22 Speaker 1: I was like, fuck it. I didn't. 00:41:23 Speaker 2: I didn't want to like show too much motion. I was like fuck yuess. And then they open the new season. It's still popular at the time. This is end of twenty going into twenty eleven. I'm like the featured like highlight new season of Comedy of Presents, and then it aired and you know, you see tweets and ship and you're like, fuck it are things like about to change? 00:41:47 Speaker 5: Man, shit didn't change at all, Like nothing changed. 00:41:51 Speaker 1: I mean got your hopes up a little bit. I mean you gotta think you probably thinking this woman knows everything. 00:42:00 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And she produced all the carl In specials, so she's like she's like, I mean the real deal, you know. And she was like, you know, she's like trying to like produce other things with me, and she's like, this is gonna You're gonna see like your life change. I was like, you're trying to just like not get too excited. It'd be like someone being like you're going to get a phone call tomorrow from the Chiefs, like I know you're enjoying college right now, but things are about to change, and you're like okay, you're just kind of like all right cool, and then chiefs are like. 00:42:32 Speaker 1: Who know, Like you're just like what the fuck? So they you know, you just keep going. 00:42:38 Speaker 2: I remember like the big bump was that I think club A club was paying me fifteen hundred a week to do six shows and they went to eighteen fifty and they're like see like yeah, you're like, oh Gray, so you just keep doing that and then I did. 00:42:52 Speaker 1: I did. 00:42:53 Speaker 2: In twenty thirteen, I shot my first Netflix special, but I wasn't for Netflix. It was shot on spec, which means you pay to somebody pay for the production and then you have it and then they shop it. So they sent it to like Comedy Central. That's where that's where you wanted to be. People don't remember that's where you want it to be. And Comedy Central passed. They're like no, and then they send it to Showtime and they're like no. And HBO was like are you fucking out of your mind? And then then Netflix took it and it was like a consolation prize. 00:43:25 Speaker 1: It was like, well, the USFL is back, yeah, yeah, which is wild to think about now, yeah, because like that's where everybody wants to be now, is Netflix? Right? Oh yeah? 00:43:34 Speaker 2: Because it's just like it's the eyeballs. I mean, this thing is always changing. We don't know what's going to happen in next year five. I mean, I'm sure the landscape will change, but for the last decade, it is Netflix. 00:43:47 Speaker 1: Yah. 00:43:47 Speaker 2: Netflix is where you want to be. And so when it when they told me we're going. 00:43:51 Speaker 5: There, I was like, I was like, you mean the place you send DVDs to, Like, yeah, that's what it was. And it was a slow is the thing was like it came out and then they were I was like, oh shit, it was slow. 00:44:03 Speaker 1: Like it was like. 00:44:05 Speaker 2: I was do a club and they were like, you sold like some you sold some tickets this week. I was like, oh really, I wasn't even thinking about the special because it was like five months later. And then all of a sudden, they're like, have you sold out the club? And I was like, for real that. We weren't like it's the special. We were like how did that happen? And then it started to go like, oh, this special has gotten traction. I was like, no way, but it was very slow. And by the end of the year they were like, you're selling out every show at the club. 00:44:33 Speaker 1: How fired up? 00:44:34 Speaker 3: It was getting that kind of feedback like man, it's really starting to get around. 00:44:38 Speaker 5: It is fucking it's amazing. 00:44:40 Speaker 2: It is amazing, and you you know, it's like you don't want to boast, you don't want to go like fuck yeah, you're just kind of like is this for real? 00:44:47 Speaker 5: Like you can't believe it's real. 00:44:48 Speaker 2: You can't believe it's real because like it's so hard, you know, to grind, like you're just like working at it, and at the time, I mean, whatever, that's ten, iems thirty four thirty, like you've been doing it for twelve years, and you're like, I don't know if it's ever gonna change much from this. And then to find like to sell out the clubs and you're like you just can't believe that people are out there and like full and they're just they want They're like they're like I saw your shit. It's fucking they love it. You can't believe it. And out to mention that you get like real checks, You're. 00:45:21 Speaker 1: Like, this is a real this is crazy, real money. 00:45:24 Speaker 5: It's crazy. Yeah, every level of it is crazy. 00:45:27 Speaker 2: But at first it seems like like monopoly money. You're like, this is what I used to make in a year, you know, like that like for real, like a year. 00:45:39 Speaker 1: What a feeling? Yeah, what a fucking feeling that is. 00:45:42 Speaker 5: It's crazy. It is a crazy feeling. 00:45:43 Speaker 4: It's gotta be. 00:45:44 Speaker 3: And just hearing the you know, obviously you like love ball and everything else, and then talk about high school and then like damn, you wanted to play in college and everything else. 00:45:51 Speaker 4: So obviously that competitive nature that fires. 00:45:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, so when you are starting to sell out and start to like get over the hump and everything else, like you can imagine the energy head when he's realizing, like, you know, it's starting to fucking happen. 00:46:02 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it was. 00:46:04 Speaker 5: It was. 00:46:04 Speaker 2: It's like it's beyond and I kind of, you know, I know it because I've experienced it now. So when I see it happening for other comics, like I'm very excited for them, Like, I know what's happening to you right now? 00:46:15 Speaker 1: You know? Is it is that a split world the comic world? Is there guys that are like, for the most part, are comics excited for other comics or are there other like is it kind of fifty to fifty like hey, we don't want to help or we do want help, because that's kind of how the NFL is, Like, Yeah, you guys come in. Some guys are like, hey, come on, let's show you how it goes. Or other guys are like, fuck off, you're not taking my job. Yeah, it's it's a little bit of that. I mean, that's that. 00:46:35 Speaker 2: The guys that are whatever, like stand up, whatever, they're just insecure because like they don't realize that there's enough There is enough room, Like, well, you guys, there's a real there is roster spots. Yeah, right, With what we do, there's no such thing as like if he's funny, you're done. 00:46:55 Speaker 1: Yeah, like you know, it's you're no longer funny. 00:46:57 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not. 00:46:58 Speaker 1: It's not like that. 00:46:59 Speaker 2: But I think some people don't realize that that, like we can all work and do shows and sell tickets like it's not it's not really a threat to you. 00:47:08 Speaker 5: And I actually feel like. 00:47:10 Speaker 2: Great stand Like when I watch a stand up and they're like, legit really good, I don't go fuck. I'm like this is I get excited by it. Like I find it kind of inspiring, you know. I'm like, oh, this is all like really good stand up is exciting, and it makes me want to do stand up. It makes me want to go get back on stage. I'm like that was so fucking good that I want to do more stand up. 00:47:31 Speaker 1: You know. 00:47:32 Speaker 2: Shitty stand up makes me like want to go home, you know, go take a nap. Yeah, I'm like this sucks. I get anxiety. I want to leave the room. Like when I'm watching it, I'm like, oh fuck, And I just like I walk out of the room, but when they're good, I want to sit there and watch it like anybody else. 00:47:46 Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, when you're when you're coming up and you've already found your voice, you found your kidence, you found your timing. How do you go and watch other comics that are making it and doing well, that have similar humor to you and not take their shit because it seems like a very difficult job to not, you know, snipe someone's joke and change it up a little bit. 00:48:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, like you're something you're like that was solid, I feel like and the thing that comes to myself was in there, like growing up, like when I was, you know, getting like turning, like twelve thirteen, like Dane Cook was big and I love Dang Cook. 00:48:21 Speaker 1: I thought it was awesome. But then as get older, more media, more podcasts come out, people are kind of hating on Dank Cook. I'm not asking you to do that, but people are saying Dane Cook stole from Lewis c K with the rolling of the rs and all this different stuff, like how do you not take that stuff? Was that ever a struggle for you? 00:48:36 Speaker 3: No? 00:48:36 Speaker 2: I mean I think that there's just such a an established thing where it's usually when you see somebody who's like you hear a great joke, you just go fuck that, like, god damn, I wish I would have thought of that, right, But it's like he did it. Like when you see it, you're just like that's done now, you know. Uh yeah, So it never occurs to you to go, like, how can I make that mine? You kind of just go like I need to fucking write more. I need to come up with some shit. But yeah, no, the and which like, look, the real thing is that That's why I think so many of us, myself included, lean so hard into talking about our lives because there's no like you can't. It's exactly if I talk to you about like my wife, my kids, my dad, my travels, like you know, my experiences, there is no chance that I'm talking about what you're talking about, like it's so uniquely mine. So that's I think that's something that has really evolved in stand up is like people have really a lot not everybody, but a lot of people just really lean into talking about their personal experiences because there's no you're not going to cross contaminate anything. But I fucking I mean, yeah, I watched jokes where I'm like, that was so fucking good, and my thought really is like I wish I would have thought of that, fuck you piece of shit. 00:49:59 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it would almost suck. Like I feel like if that it almost suck. Like you're doing your own thing. You don't really watch a whole lot, and then one of your jokes is similar to somebody else. Now I have people are like, oh, you kind of and then you're just thinking I would assume that you're just thinking like, fuck, I didn't, I didn't know. 00:50:13 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I have said a few times. 00:50:15 Speaker 2: I've seen somebody do a bit that's something similar to what I'm doing, and I'm in the room and I always tell them in that moment like, hey, just so you know, I have a bit very similar to what you're saying right now, because it's something that's not out, Like if it's out, then I'm just I'll be like, oh, they're they're doing something similar to something I have out, so they're gonna look like they're doing my bit. Yeah, like the people oh yeah, yeah, and people will. I mean, I've I've had people tell me they're like, you're that bit is similar to so and so, and I'll be I'll look and either they're not similar, and you're like, that's not even remotely close. There's just like we both have a bit about hats and you're like you stole his bit, and like, what are you talking about? 00:51:03 Speaker 5: Like we're both allowed to talk about hats, right, you know. 00:51:06 Speaker 2: But I've also told people like I've seen something similar, and then I go, I look at when they came out, and if my shit came out first, I'm not even accusing the other person that taking it. I'm just like, hey, just you know, mine came out a year before, and then that person like shuts down. 00:51:21 Speaker 5: But I've told people because you want to tell. You want to tell somebody. 00:51:24 Speaker 2: So that they don't think, like if somebody is up there and they do their fucking hat bit and you're like, I'm doing a bit right now. You want to tell them if they see you, because you want them to go, hey, I didn't come up with that after I saw you that day at the club. I'm doing it right, So I tell them in the moment, right, that happened. But that happens. That's a normal thing to happen. Where you go, we're both talking about fucking. 00:51:47 Speaker 1: Ice or whatever. You know. 00:51:49 Speaker 2: So yeah, just just let you know that I am also exploring what it is to have sub freezing water in my class. 00:51:56 Speaker 3: So when you have a like a platform is big as you do like you and bird with two Bears, two Bears, one Cave and just all the you kind of have like a network and as big as your brand is, what is the benefit? And if it's as simple as finances, then I guess that's what the answer would be. But what is the benefit of being on like a Netflix or a streaming platform versus you just doing your own thing because you have such a big audience yourself. No, it's a it's actually a good question. I mean everything has changed. I Mean one of the things that is like obvious is that you can have great success with posting a special on YouTube like YouTube. People were like seeing as like for a minute, like, oh, things didn't work out for you, right, you had to put it on YouTube? And then you see what's happened with specials on YouTube that when they hit they fucking explode. 00:52:50 Speaker 1: I mean Shane's Shane Dude. That stand up in Austin has got to be one of my top five it's one of my thought five. It is so fucking funny. 00:52:59 Speaker 2: When I I I just told I saw him yesterday, and I was, I mean, I've told him this before that when I first was you know, i'd heard about him and I saw a clip and I was like, it's funny. And then his special came out. It first came out, I was sent the you know whatever, the link. I click on it, and I realized that like fifteen to twenty minutes have gone by, and I'm like and the reason that like I'm like surprised is like normally, like I tap out fast, like I'll watch Stand Up for like three minutes and like turn it off, you know, a special, and then I'm like checking again. I'm like, I'm about to finish this thing. It's like a whatever fifty minutes or something. I turn it off and I was like, that is the most engaged and hardest I've laughed at a special. 00:53:45 Speaker 1: In a long, like in a while. And it was a YouTube special that like he was, it's so good. 00:53:53 Speaker 2: Like it's also like it is my wheelhouse of what I find funny, Like he like it, you know what I mean, Like there's genres of things that people like. 00:54:01 Speaker 1: It, no question. It really hit me in my in my. 00:54:05 Speaker 2: Spot where I was like, this is so fucking funny and yeah, I mean I I love that special. I think it's one of the best specials of the last five years. 00:54:14 Speaker 3: Yeah, the Fotball, the Fox News was just all of it. 00:54:19 Speaker 2: The dad Ship is probably what made me laugh the hardest, Like when he's when he talks about like when he's like he's so drunk and he wakes up to like what's going on in Israel, like the Bomby Like that shit made me laugh. 00:54:33 Speaker 1: Yeah, whoa, that made me laugh. It's the thing that is so funny to me about Shane is what's so funny to me about you and your stand up is like Shane can say so little and have such a presence and just a little movement and the timing Like when I watch Sledgehammer, you're literally having conversation with your kid or with your dad and you like are just doing eight words and the span of thirty seconds, but the way you put the words and where you put them, it's fucking hilarious. 00:55:03 Speaker 5: Yeah, thanks man, Thanks. 00:55:04 Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's the type of thing yeah, that like, I mean, little things the nuance of things is what makes me laugh the hardest, more so than like the the the you know, the big punchline is always something you want, but like it's the little stuff that makes. 00:55:18 Speaker 1: Me remember and love stuff. 00:55:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, like the little facial expressions, the pause being in the right play Like that's what you work on too. 00:55:26 Speaker 5: You know, callbacks that have callbacks all that's. 00:55:28 Speaker 1: Are always a fun little treat. 00:55:29 Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like that's a lot of your fans like watching it too. 00:55:32 Speaker 3: You just see the uh, the reaction by a lot of your fans, like when you do hit the callbacks. Throughout the entirety of the special one, everyone's just clapping because it's funny. But it's also like man like well done, Like that would have to feel that would have to feel so sick. 00:55:46 Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to like you don't want them to be too like, you know, for lack of a better like to eat. You want to weave them in a clever way because then they're kind of like, ah, like there it is as opposed to just like dropping it whenever. So like like making a callback feel organic, so it's like it's in a bit ten minutes later, but it is, you know, it's a callback to something, but it's it. It feels natural in the newer bit or in the later bit. That's like a fun thing. I think too. 00:56:12 Speaker 4: It's like an appreciation clop that's happened. 00:56:14 Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, yeah, it's fun. 00:56:16 Speaker 2: By the way, I have to mention because because I did see Shane yesterday that he was like, we if you can watch that. It came out today. I was like, how was u? How was the Beer Olympics? He goes, you dodged a bullet? 00:56:31 Speaker 1: He goes it sucked. 00:56:35 Speaker 2: And I was like, shut up. And then what we got into was, first of all, yes he did show me Bruce. He's like, this is a week old bruise is still yellow. And I was like, here's what it is. 00:56:45 Speaker 5: You hang out with these guys and you're like just just good guys, like the regular guys. I go, but when you take these fucking assholes, these are these pro athletes, and you just go we're competing. I go, this switch happens that you you forget that they're mont sirts, like they're actual literal monsters. He's like, dude, I had a guy grabbed me by my neck and hold me out. He goes, I thought we were playing. I thought we were like fucking around and then keep talking. 00:57:12 Speaker 1: I'll show it to you. 00:57:13 Speaker 2: He goes, I got beat the fuck up and I was drunk, so I didn't know what was happening to me until the next day. 00:57:19 Speaker 1: And he was like, it hurts so bad. This is why Shane's such a bit. Okay, tell me, tell me because that whole wrestling that's me and Shane. 00:57:27 Speaker 5: That's the fucking Yeah. 00:57:28 Speaker 2: He looks like he's suffering right there. 00:57:33 Speaker 3: Taylor has him like that, like in the pony's dragging. He's tapping like three or four times, and Day was just dragging him throughout the pool. 00:57:42 Speaker 2: You can just tell shoving, he goes, Yeah, he goes, Taylor is a professional shover. 00:57:47 Speaker 1: He's shoving me. He So here's how it started. We were in my man cave and we're kind of fucking around because I do. I think Shane's hilarious and I love being around him, especially when he's got a couple of drinks in him. And she kind of comes out of a shell a little bit and he starts, you know what, we're you gonna do, pussy, what are you gonna do? And he starts fucking aking it on. So we end up on the couch. There's a photo of us on the couch and I'm like full mounted on him and I'm like holding him and he's like she's choking, Like you're a bit like still egging it on. 00:58:11 Speaker 5: Yeah, and then. 00:58:12 Speaker 1: Shirt like Will gets in a fight with this guy with the lead singer Middland those him in the pool, starts wrestling him, and then JP's like, hey, gets Shane in the pool, So I like, you know, Shane, he doesn't want to take that shirt off for nobody. We gotta get him in this fucking pool. So I body tossed him in there, and you can see in this videos like you don't want this, and he kind of takes your shirt off. We start going, but he instigated ninety percent of that shit. Him and Burt would lose in a competition, and then Shane would find me and Will and come up behind us and be like, you're being nasty. You'd being a bad host, man, You're such a bad host. But I'm like trying to shoot a beer bunk bottle. I'm like, dude, I'm gonna fucking end this, he said. He said an NHL player joh James. 00:58:51 Speaker 5: He goes, he goes this dude, legit hurt me and then came back. He was like, my bad on that. 00:58:56 Speaker 1: Yeah, those hockey players they look like stick. They are strong and sturdy individuals. They're playing like that's after all the competition is over. 00:59:05 Speaker 5: It's like and they fucking fight like they fight. 00:59:08 Speaker 1: Yoh yeah, and they can booze too, they can put it down and they getting start playing pool basketball. And I looked over for a minute. I could have sworn three people were drowning at one point. It was just it's elbows are being thrown. Dudes are getting thrown everywhere. It was as freddy and as energetic as it possible we can get. 00:59:25 Speaker 5: Yeah, you got you gotta watch Shane talk about it. 00:59:27 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's out today two bears. 00:59:30 Speaker 2: No, No, it's it's his. I came out because I did it. Oh you went out to uh oh dude, I went to Queens. How wild is his spot? 00:59:36 Speaker 5: That's fine? 00:59:37 Speaker 1: I was out there, what was that a month ago? 00:59:40 Speaker 3: He's like, hey, you want to come do the pod? I was like, hell yeah, dude, And then I call him when I get there, I'm like, hey, am I in the. 00:59:44 Speaker 4: Right spot and then we come in. I'm like, yeah, why are you living like this? Man? 00:59:48 Speaker 1: He's like, is how you make comedy? Yeah? 00:59:52 Speaker 3: And then I go he lives like a like a hoarder, right, yeah, like he he lives like he's like a college student. Then you go upstairs and all the boys are just sitting there playing UFC like video games. 01:00:02 Speaker 5: It's such a departure from my life. I live like a. 01:00:05 Speaker 1: Fucking baller, Like what the fuck? Yeah, but it's a yeah, it's a choice. Yeah, it is a choice. He does a lot of sketch comedy. Why didn't you Was there ever a point when you were talking about doing communications and making videos and like doing all that? Did you ever want to do like mad Teas? Definitely? Definitely. 01:00:24 Speaker 2: I mean I literally thought that when I was at that Groundling the Groundlings if you if you look it up, it's like it's the West Coast improv school that so many people you know would go to. 01:00:39 Speaker 1: It's like Second City r Yeah exactly, Okay, it's. 01:00:41 Speaker 2: The la version of that, and it's I mean Will Ferrell came from there, foul and all, like all the endless people. So when I found that out, I was like, oh, that's where I'll go and then I'll do SNL like I literally thought. 01:00:53 Speaker 5: That was the way to do it. 01:00:56 Speaker 1: And then they have tiers like they have. 01:00:59 Speaker 5: It's a school, so like there's entry level one, level two like like that. 01:01:05 Speaker 2: Then there's this thing called Writer's Lab. Then there's Sunday Company, and then there's the ground links, right, so it's a whole thing. When you get to writing lab, if they call you, it means that you've, like you at least have some chops if you suck there and they don't call you for that when they go, well, they call you, and it's to like, you know, start working on the writing aspect of it. If you can pass on it, you can go like, I can't do it right now, and they'll call you a second time. But if you pass a second time, they'd never call you again. That's the policy. And so the first time they called me, I had a legit I can't do it right now. I don't remember what it was. But the second time they called me it was I realized I started doing stand up and I remember I, I mean, you know, I got fifty bucks to do it here, hundred dollars to do it there, and I was like, I think this is the path I need. Like I felt like if I go do that, it's gonna be a distraction from stand up, Like it's it's I'm spread out in a way that I I can't register. So I said no, But I still liked doing sketched up, like I you know, I've filmed sketches over the years and posted them, and I've acted in a few things. I have like a couple of things that are like legit. I have a thing with Bert that we're gonna do. I have another movie in development at a at a at a place, and then I I filmed like my own version of like I filmed the pilot last year that I paid for really yeah yeah, and I sold it, so like we're gonna go make the series. 01:02:50 Speaker 1: That's awesome. 01:02:51 Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's and that's like I wrote it, I'm in it. I produced it, spent fucking so much money to make it. 01:02:59 Speaker 5: Look I just didn't want it to look like like a sketch show because of them look so low production. 01:03:06 Speaker 2: So we don't like we actually call them shorts, like you know, like it's like if you ever watch Black Mirror, like though an episode of that will have, like you know, it's like a short film, and that's how we tried to make this series like short films. 01:03:20 Speaker 1: Any idea when that's gonna come out? 01:03:22 Speaker 5: Well, it'd be cool if the strike was resolved so that you probably. 01:03:28 Speaker 1: Get I mean I want it. 01:03:29 Speaker 2: I want them to get what they need obviously and what they want. But my guess would be that it would be late next year when we would be able to put that out. 01:03:40 Speaker 3: Yeah you uh, I know when we had burnt on and we're kind of like asking about your guys, dynamic and everything else. And he alludes to you being like the brains behind the operation like over the years obviously you know humble Cat, But how do you learn to how have you learned how to build all these things out over time? Like do you have a like a knack or an interest like when you're building out like you have a media network, you have all these things going on, like balancing all that and learning about all that, because it does seem like you are a very savvy behind the microphone, but or you know, behind the camera and everything else. 01:04:17 Speaker 2: Now I think it's like, you know, I'm an I'm an observer and I I try to like learn from what other people are doing too, So I do a lot of that, Like I do a lot of like seeing what works for other people and then following instincts and like you know, not being not being resistant to like the new whatever's something that something is like coming about, like you know, hey, whatever it could be like TikTok is where everyone's going, and not being like I'm not going to do that. You know, that's not for like just being open to the fact that that you can't you can't. 01:04:52 Speaker 5: Just go I do it this way. 01:04:54 Speaker 2: This is what we do, like being open to those ideas and trying things like i'm I'm I think if if you're a comic, you're natural entrepreneur, like you man it. You own your business, and that means that you're not totally risk averse, like you're going to take risks, and so like we take risks in things like when we do these uh we do these live streaming shows, like to produce them, you have to spend money. You have to like go ahead and put together a different type of show. Like it's like it's like almost like a variety show and we're gonna have music, We're gonna have this. It's a risk, and then you go, I'm gonna I'm gonna do ten dollars, like it was a big thing. Was like people were like trying to like really have us agents, so like you should charge more, you know. 01:05:40 Speaker 5: I was like, now, let's just try to do volume. 01:05:42 Speaker 2: Like, let's just try to do volume and see if we can do a lot of tickets but make it affordable. Ten bucks is like pretty affordable ticket, and so I'm open to like try things, and I go, if this doesn't, like when I shot the pilot, I spent over a million dollars to shoot it, So you go, like and then people like, what if you lose money? 01:06:02 Speaker 1: I'm like, then it didn't. 01:06:03 Speaker 2: Work out, But like the upside is maybe it's exactly what I wanted to make. And even if I don't make money on it, I have this thing I wanted to make, and so I can't you don't make I don't make just decisions based on is this going to be financially beneficial? Obviously you want to make money, but like you have to do things that are like fulfilling creatively. And to me, there's like something about in this era that we're in right now, the I like the adventure of trying something and seeing how it like how where it ends up, even if that's like trying it, Like we develop new podcasts and I'm like, you know, now these are going to like podcasts, you know what I mean, you guys do it. It's like you go, well, let's get together do this pot do fucking five hundred people might listen to it, and it's considered a bomb and there is no such thing as like if you do put the Like there's been celebrities that have gotten together to do podcasts that fail, like legit huge names. So I get excited about trying new things. It's just like when you get on stage, you try things. That's what feels good to like try a joke and have the potential for it to bomb. Like if there's no potential for it to bomb, it's not as as rewarding internally as you know what I mean, Like a safe joke right like where you're like, let's get a last Yeah, those are like it feels good to get to laugh, but part of you goes like if you would have tried something else that was like riskier, that feels more fun. And I think that applies to like all the stuff you're saying like all those things is like you want to take a risk, you want it to be a calculated risk, but there's no there's no thrill in just like playing everything safe, you know what I mean? 01:07:45 Speaker 1: Yeah, was there ever a fear when you're when you had kids about taking more risk? 01:07:52 Speaker 5: There was a fear in not working enough, so. 01:07:56 Speaker 1: Which is a different thing than most people say. Right, Yeah, a lot of people are like I I gotta. 01:08:03 Speaker 2: When she was pregnant and I was like, we're having a baby. I I definitely hit a switch where I just went like into I need to work a lot, and I went I went. 01:08:15 Speaker 1: Hard, and it was the idea of like providing. 01:08:17 Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was like, I mean, up until that point, it was the two of us. Like you realize that, like if it's just the two of you, you can fucking get by. We'll go to Trader Joe's and get some frozen fucking burritos and like you know what I mean. 01:08:32 Speaker 1: Like, yeah, you have dinner. Dinner really doesn't matter. 01:08:34 Speaker 2: It's like if I if you if you don't, if you're not making a lot, you're like, well, you know, hopefully I'll get another gig next week. 01:08:41 Speaker 5: And I'll have enough for rent like like that. Yeah, you're like, I mean I always wanted to work, but like when when a kid comes, Yeah, I was like it wasn't even I didn't have to like externally say it. It was like it was so internal of like it's like you it's like the modern version of like hunter gatherer mode where you just like I have to provide so that I mean I went into like six gear with like working. 01:09:08 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it seems like you have an incredible work ethic When you look at you and Bert, Yeah, who would you say has the better work ethic? 01:09:16 Speaker 2: Well, Bert be like, I mean I'm doing a lot more actually right now. 01:09:22 Speaker 1: The festival is. 01:09:27 Speaker 5: No. I think we both you know, I think we both have dad or I had a dad who like we were like very traditional work you know, get up at five point thirty whenever, go to work. Like they're just like. 01:09:41 Speaker 2: Old school Americana dads like yeah, of course you work, right, So then like yeah, when opportunities come, like they have arrived for us now we're like we have opportunities, Like, I mean, neither one of us is like eah whatever, yeah, you know, like we're like, oh yeah, you go to work. 01:09:58 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we both work a lot. 01:10:00 Speaker 2: I mean I've like I did a tour that I think was insane when I look back on like it was it was too much meaning and not like I couldn't handle it. It's just like for like from having a family. It's just like it's not conducive to do that many shows and tour that much. So I'm more conscious of it and like I'm literally gonna see my agent here to plan out the next like you we have to have more weeks off, you know. But it's not because like I don't want to work. It's like I have to be able to be home, like I have little kids. 01:10:39 Speaker 1: Man. Yeah, So I mean Bert is going in my. 01:10:43 Speaker 5: Opinion, too hard, Like he goes and I'm like it's insane. 01:10:49 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's almost like avoiding life, like you know what I mean, Like I'm like, what are you doing? And then he cause like Bert does this thing where he knows them. When I say this, he'll be like, yeah, just I don't know. 01:11:02 Speaker 5: I just I don't know. 01:11:04 Speaker 2: I just took it and took on too much. I'm like, yeah, but you're in control, like you can say it, and he's like I don't know, like I don't know. Definitely, yeah, definitely. 01:11:13 Speaker 4: He does give himself to a lot of different to as much as he can. I mean, even coming to the. 01:11:18 Speaker 3: Beer Olympics when I was a great day, was like, hey man, you know, I know. 01:11:21 Speaker 4: You get pulling a lot out different ankles and you're just blowing up. 01:11:25 Speaker 3: He has been for a while now, and it's like, oh, I appreciate you just like taking the time. 01:11:29 Speaker 4: And because you can even see it at the Beer Olympics. 01:11:31 Speaker 3: I don't know about you, but you pulled a little bit of a You could just see like he was worn down a little bit. And then he expressed that when he sent the message back, he's like, hey, you know, I was run a little low, but very appreciative, you know, bird like he's the best. 01:11:43 Speaker 5: Now he's the best. 01:11:44 Speaker 4: It does seem like he just goes fuck. 01:11:46 Speaker 2: I want him an hour to I mean, if he's if he's trying to look, if he wants to hear this, Okay, you're working harder. 01:11:54 Speaker 1: He did ask me to ask that question. 01:11:56 Speaker 2: No, I mean yeah, but I you know, we did a zoom call or this thing the other day and we get on He's like, I'm like, are you all right? 01:12:04 Speaker 5: He's like I'm dying. 01:12:06 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I don't want that to be real, Like could you chill the fuck out for a second. But yeah, he goes, you know, he'll do this. I think he's gonna take some a little. 01:12:15 Speaker 1: Bit of time. 01:12:16 Speaker 2: Then he's got his fully loaded cruise. Then he goes back on tour, then into another production. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, man, I get it because you go, these are these are a credible opportunity. You work your whole career for these opportunities and then you get them. But you still have to like I'm look, I'm saying it like I'm telling him, I'm telling myself too. 01:12:37 Speaker 5: You still have to like figure out how to manage it because you you don't. 01:12:42 Speaker 2: I guess you don't want to be like no, thanks right to the thing that you're like you always wanted to do. But you can't say yes to all of it. That's the that's the part. You have to figure you can't say yes to all of it. 01:13:00 Speaker 7: Fuck them, give us, give us three pet peeves of Bert Kreischer, three of his pet peeves, three pet beeves. 01:13:14 Speaker 5: You have with him, Oh that I have with him. 01:13:16 Speaker 4: No, like that you see of him? 01:13:19 Speaker 1: Three pet peeves you have for Bert? Like what bugs you about Burt? 01:13:23 Speaker 2: He thinks pretty easy. 01:13:27 Speaker 5: Number one would be as busy as he is, just not responding to Like I'm like, hey man, we're good friends, we're literal business partners. And I've called you and texted you for four days. 01:13:48 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, no, yeah, Like I've been around you when other people and I see how you I'm like, don't fucking answer me. 01:14:03 Speaker 5: So that would that fucking irritates the ship out of me. 01:14:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, whatever, dude, I know what, I know how you do this, like pick up the fucking phone. 01:14:12 Speaker 5: Text me back that you can't talk. 01:14:15 Speaker 1: Simple enough? 01:14:16 Speaker 2: So that makes me crazy? What else makes me crazy about him? 01:14:23 Speaker 1: He? 01:14:24 Speaker 5: Uh? 01:14:26 Speaker 2: He will, Oh yeah, he just won't like consider anybody else's emotions in the room. So like he'll come in and I'll be like and he's like yelling at you know, somebody on the staff, and I'm like buddy, buddy, and he's. 01:14:46 Speaker 5: Like what, I go, yeah, but he feels this way. But I'll give I'll give him credit. 01:14:51 Speaker 2: When you point that stuff out to him, he'll be like, you're right, you're right, you're right the dove. 01:14:57 Speaker 5: I'm sorry. I didn't think about how you might have felt in this. 01:15:01 Speaker 2: It's literally like you're raising kids, yeah you know what I mean, like your dad, and you're just like yeah, but your brother feels this way. 01:15:07 Speaker 5: Yeah, and then he's like, okay, good point. 01:15:09 Speaker 1: Point. 01:15:09 Speaker 5: Sometimes I get a little ahead. Yeah, I do give him credit. 01:15:12 Speaker 2: He gets very he gets like, he gets so fucking like fired up in the moments of like fun, because he his whole thing is like how can I make something more? Like he wants every moment to be like if he came in here, he's like, let's make this the best podcast in the history of podcast. 01:15:30 Speaker 5: Like yeah, right, like he must have. He wants to manufacture fun, even if it's like you know, like it can't. He doesn't want to have like an okay day. Every time you go like, how was last night? Saying it was the best night in my life? And I go, I know it wasn't, and he's like what, I go. 01:15:47 Speaker 2: Well, if it was the best night, like you've said, it's been the best night you're life five hundred times, so which one is it? Like most people have an epic experience. You I go, you had dinner. You told me it's best dinner you've ever had in your life. You had the best coffee ever in your life. This morning, the show was the best night. He goes, Okay, sometimes I embellished, and I'm like, yeah, quite a bit. So your bird voice is so funny. It's like he but you know what I mean, like he really and I actually a lot of that is tied to the to like booze, Like he's know, he's the party guy, because like the party guy wants the party to go on, right. 01:16:20 Speaker 1: Like one time we hung out. 01:16:22 Speaker 2: I mean I'm not a big drinker, and we had a couple drinks and I was like, and it was it was like midnight. We were at this hotel. I was like, all right, like I'm gonna go to bed. He goes, what I go? I want to go to bed? He goes, Why I go? Cause it's fucking midnight and I've had a few drinks and I'm tired. He's like, don't you want this feeling to keep going? 01:16:47 Speaker 5: What feeling? He's like, just like the buzz, like don't you want to just not stop? 01:16:51 Speaker 2: And I was like no, I want to put my head on a fucking pillow and sleep, like are you crazy. 01:16:59 Speaker 5: And he's like, I just want to to never end. I was like, that's not a healthy thought. 01:17:03 Speaker 1: Fucking this shit will never end. 01:17:06 Speaker 2: But then he actually he's not lying about that, Like that is you know what I mean? Like yeah, and so, like it has two sides, because the upside is that he makes most things more fun. He just comes in and you're like, oh shit, like a party just came into the room. Like he's a literal party now. By the way, he's in the last year since he's like really like I don't know, exploded in popularity or whatever. Every time I see him, there's like eight people with him. I'm like, who the fuck are all these people. He's an entourage now, Like he's like, this. 01:17:40 Speaker 1: Is my camera guy, this is my sound guy. 01:17:43 Speaker 5: I'm like, what he never just rolls in solo anymore. It's a party. It's a party where he goes yeah and then they keep the party going. 01:17:52 Speaker 1: Seems exhausting, but also be on the receiving end of it. Every time Bert walks into a room, you're like, fuck, yeah, dude, yeah, yeah, I'm so happy he's here because he's such a good time and the thing about Bert is when you see him and you talk to him a minute, two minutes, you literally walk away going I feel like we're best friends. Like man, I'm like, I think we passed tom as Ye, no, he does. 01:18:19 Speaker 5: He's very here's the thing. He's very sincere. He's very sincere. And he doesn't do like he doesn't do like uh yeah, like I good to see you. Like he's he's not like that. He's a he's like a look into your eyes and like this means so much to me. He likes community, you know, he's he is a frat guy. Frat guy has like a negative connotation. The positive of it is like if you wanted to find the positive in that is somebody who like wants like a friendship fraternity to exist. So like he goes, let's all, why don't we all just be friends and like hang out, like let's make this fun. And I'm just like what, I want to go be alone? 01:18:57 Speaker 2: Like he's like, no, come on, Like he's always like come join us, and like, you know, like that's. 01:19:01 Speaker 1: As an observers, you guys have a very interesting dynamic. You guys are both hilarious individuals in your own way, but it's interesting to see how. I mean, I'm assuming you guys are best friends. Would you call me your best friend? 01:19:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're Yes, we're best friends. And he's like, you know, it is a it is a balance. 01:19:17 Speaker 6: Like. 01:19:17 Speaker 2: Part of the reason I think that it works for us is that I thoroughly enjoy him, Like, like a lot of people are like, how do you put up with this fucking lunatic? And I'm like, yeah, but I enjoy Like he entertains the shit out of me. I find him. One of the first times we ever took a road trip together is like years ago, and we drove up to Sacramento and we're driving back down from LA I mean it's like hours drive. I forget how many hours it is. And then on the way back from Sacramento, he goes, you know, you don't say much. And I was like, you haven't shut the fuck up. You haven't stopped talking, and he goes, yeah, that checks out. 01:19:56 Speaker 1: That checks out. 01:19:57 Speaker 2: But the thing is I was like, yeah, but I'm I go I just literally I would ask him a question. He would talk for thirty minutes straight, and then I ask him one more question. An hour has gone by with him just I mean, he's just talked talked about. But I enjoy him, like I enjoy his company. 01:20:10 Speaker 5: And then he thinks that I'm fucking weird, and I'm like, I don't think I'm weird. 01:20:17 Speaker 2: I think I'm pretty much like the voice of reason, and you're fucking crazy, but I enjoy your craziness. 01:20:23 Speaker 1: I know we got to let you go because people are he's getting text, people are open the door, right, But sledgehammer, sledgehammer, of all the specials you've done, what makes you so proud of the special? 01:20:34 Speaker 2: I mean, look, I don't know if this is something that will always happen, like for me, it's like so clearly for me, the like what I'm most proud of I toured for usually I was on a two year turnaround, right, and I felt I was felt fine about that, like meaning like I would shoot a special, start working on something new. Two years would go by and I'd shoot another one and put it out. And pandemic contributed to this, but it was three years and I just felt like it got It's so much better, it's so much tighter. 01:21:08 Speaker 1: I became a better. 01:21:09 Speaker 2: Performer, Like I just I like the special so much more. And you know, I just felt like it's a more like you always want to get better instant, you know, so you just like it feels like like whatever you know evolved, like I've evolved as a person as a comic. It's like it's more personal to me because like my dad died during it and we were very close, and I talk about it, even though I make jokes about it obviously, but so like it's stuff that is like, you know, it's more emotional for me, as much as it's not like an emotional thing to watch. It's like all that to me was like and it's a huge tour, like the culmination of a of a twenty one month tour is this special. So to me it's like, as you know, it was the most fun I've ever had shooting a special, like by far. And I don't know, man, I'm just like it's been out for a couple of days. 01:22:03 Speaker 5: It's number one on Netflix. It's the number one. 01:22:05 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's got. 01:22:07 Speaker 5: That's pretty cool. 01:22:09 Speaker 1: So we see your Instagram. 01:22:10 Speaker 2: No, no, but I mean like there's like an article today about like how it dethroned, uh, that Henry Cavill show The Witch or whatever. 01:22:20 Speaker 1: I did see that, you know, when I saw that on my Instagram Instagram. 01:22:23 Speaker 2: Yeah, well said and I mean I was like, I was like, yeah, dude, They're like, do you want to post this? 01:22:28 Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, of course, throw that up there multiple times. 01:22:33 Speaker 5: And the guy was so da the guy was so sassy. Who wrote it? 01:22:38 Speaker 6: Yeah, he was like, apparently this guy has five specials. Apparently, like it's not like you can't find it, Like I don't even know how to verify this, but apparently this guy has five specials on Netflix and apparently people are watching it. And I'm like, all right, man, that ship to me is fun, but it's honestly, it's not even about it's not about that. 01:23:00 Speaker 5: It's about that. 01:23:01 Speaker 2: Like I feel like when you do a special, it's like when you're you're you've been in a kitchen, you know what I mean, Like you've been making something and you go. 01:23:11 Speaker 5: Yeah, and you are you are excited. 01:23:13 Speaker 2: I don't believe anybody that isn't excited for people to like try it right, and yes, some people go this tastes like ship, but a lot of people enjoy it and then you go, well that feels good. 01:23:23 Speaker 4: Yeah man, thank you, this is an honor. 01:23:26 Speaker 1: Bro. 01:23:26 Speaker 2: No, I'm super I'm sorry, I couldn't make it to what would have been a horrific experience at the. 01:23:32 Speaker 1: You're coming, You're coming in here. You don't be a ref. You can be a ref next year. 01:23:36 Speaker 4: You don't know. 01:23:36 Speaker 5: Actually I might be fucking jack Fuck you guys up. 01:23:39 Speaker 1: Dude, we didn't get to talk about it, but you've looked really good. You've lost a lot of way. 01:23:46 Speaker 4: He's got the what's it called the shor head. 01:23:49 Speaker 1: He's got a short head bicep. Short heads. Short heads play if we played them. You need the short heads. Long heads take longer to develop. That'll look as good. That's the talk. You got goode got good physic. 01:23:59 Speaker 5: You come on. 01:24:00 Speaker 1: You fueled up nicely since your basketball incident. 01:24:02 Speaker 5: Thanks brother, Thanks, I'll see you in the pool next year. 01:24:05 Speaker 1: No question you will be more injured. Hey, have a great day. Big hugs, tiny kits,

Best of the Bus: Tom Segura Talks His Friendship With Bert Kreischer & His Start In Comedy

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