Hakeem & Monica Part 2: Getting Real About Parenting and Answering Your Questions | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Golden Hour everyone. We are back with part two with Hakeim and Monica. So let's just get right into it now. We have to get down to business because you know, this is not just about hearing about your fabulous love life and baby, although it really is. We have some fan questions okay, you know, listeners right in, and we like to answer them and give our expert golden advice, and so we want to couple that with your fabulous young in love advice.

00:00:41
Speaker 2: Okay, are you in?

00:00:42
Speaker 3: Yeah? Can I ask you a quick question before you guys, if you guys can go.

00:00:47
Speaker 2: I am not pregnant.

00:00:48
Speaker 3: No, no, my god, no, it's I mean, if you could go back in time and you would say it was crucial for my partner to help me out while I was pregnant. What was that?

00:00:58
Speaker 4: Oh?

00:00:58
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to cross Kim.

00:01:01
Speaker 4: You're already so perfect. I can't even tell you. You're asking that is like the sweetest thing in the world. Kathy, what do you think? I feel like foot rubs are a definite I think.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: That I think you're already doing it.

00:01:13
Speaker 1: HACKEM honestly listening to your partner showing her that you love her. She's gonna feel big and fat and all that stuff this time goes on. You know what, Just telling her how much you love her and how excited you are to be together. It's all she needs, is that love and affirmation that all the rest, all the rest foot rubs, those are great, she'll love that too. But you're just just building and keeping the love between you two. That's the best advice I can give you.

00:01:40
Speaker 4: Yep, would I second that, you know. I feel like pregnancy for me was like super joyous. I just loved every bit of it. I loved having this little baby grown inside me. I felt like the hardest time was like the first month after the baby is born. You have all this joy, you also have all these crazy hormones. You're not feeling great. You have a lot of pressure. You don't know how to be a mom, you don't know how to be a dad. I think that's when maybe the most tension occurred. So like to be knowledgeable, like to know that and to be really patient with each other and respect like all these crazy things that are going to your head and how inadequate you feel. I remember, they handed me this baby and they're like, take him home and I was like, he could die. I don't know how to take care. And I was like, look at my husband' like I can't believe that lendiyus take him.

00:02:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like this is odd.

00:02:26
Speaker 1: It's like we wanted in a lottery. My advice that you're not asking for is once the baby is born, Once Marlee Marie arrives, don't worry about cooking or cleaning.

00:02:40
Speaker 2: You can do that the rest of your life. Spend time without her, sleep as much as you can all those things. Do not worry.

00:02:49
Speaker 1: Hopefully you know I'll be flying out to take care of the baby and help you out. But really sleep when you can, and just take it slow because these it's some of the most joyous times y'all makes me cry.

00:03:00
Speaker 4: Like and there's nothing also like and for like the whole future, like I'm now I'm gonna like go ten years down the road. Make sure that your couple relationship stays intact because you tend to become parents and no longer a couple. Make sure you have date nights. My husband and I had a Saturday night date night, like for our entire life. I always had a babysitter. I always had a date night on Saturday night. It gives you a chance to reconnect and so like, for you know, being parents is great, but it can't be your only relationship because then like they all grow up and then and then you'll.

00:03:33
Speaker 1: Look at each other and you go, who are you? And the dates don't have to be expensive not you know, my husband and I one of our favorite things to do on our date nights were to go to a local bookstore that had like a wine bar, and we'd go and just shop for books and have a glass of wine. I mean literally, it doesn't have to be a fancy it can be a walk, it can be anything. But yeah, Jones, right, spend time together.

00:03:56
Speaker 4: Yeah, you'll be better parents, be a couple instead of parents.

00:04:00
Speaker 5: Yeah, we've talked about that. But that's great advice.

00:04:04
Speaker 2: All right, it's a perfect, perfect.

00:04:07
Speaker 4: And I have a really good one for you guys. Okay, so I don't know who this is from. Oh it's from anonymous. Okay. It said, Hey, we just found out we're having a girl. And I was over the moon, but my husband was visibly disappointed. He made a few I guess I'll try again for a boy jokes that didn't sit right. With me, How do I address this?

00:04:28
Speaker 3: Who do you want to you want to go first? Different? I think we have different answers. I'm gonna say for that whole situation, I mean having a boy. I don't know why men want to have boys so much, because more joy to have a daughter. That daughter father relationship is like you can never you can never separate that, right, So like when I see like girls with their dads, it's like a different type of like relationship. But I also just to say, like you want just a healthy baby. That's the most important thing. You just want a healthy so girl, boy doesn't matter, Like you have a healthy childy able to have a child together. So what do you think?

00:05:06
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was gonna say, like be thankful that you're having just a healthy baby. Yeah, but I can understand just that like as a man like having that son, or as a woman having that daughter and just having that kind of mini me. So I can see where his not, you know, disappointment maybe if he was really hoping for a son. But give him, you know, like let him settle in. The he'll settle in, he'll settle in, and then you know, just be like you can have another kid. And if you don't have another boy, like it is what it is. You're thankful to have to have kids, Like not everyone can do it, So just to have a healthy baby is a blessing.

00:05:44
Speaker 3: And also to the piggyback off of that is we usually want boys to live out the dreams that we never got to live out, so we try to make sure that they can be. For instance, I want my kid to go to the Olympics, right because I didn't get to go to Olympics. I want my child to run for Jamaica. But like, what if they don't want to do that? So, like you have a boy, what if they don't want to do anything that you have planned for them? Then what you know what I mean.

00:06:06
Speaker 2: It definitely happened that I was gonna say that game.

00:06:09
Speaker 1: Your kids will have their own plans. Yeah, they will have their own identity, And I feel about that.

00:06:16
Speaker 3: I think that's what men. We always want boys because we're like, oh, we're gonna make them the best athlete in the world. We're gonna do all of this. What if they want to just play the trumpet? Yeah, don want to play the trumpet? Like what are you gonna do that? Like you're gonna say, you can't play the trumpet, You're gonna play sports like.

00:06:30
Speaker 2: My my husband.

00:06:32
Speaker 1: I mean, he grew up in a very rural thing, so his high school had like no, you know how many twenty people whatever. He was the star basketball player and the star baseball player.

00:06:42
Speaker 2: He was.

00:06:43
Speaker 1: He was quite a good athlete and the Navy, you know, he played. He was a good athlete. And when we had our first son, he did exactly what you're saying. He put my son into every you know, little league and soccer. My son was five years old and we're going to a soccer game and every you know, it's her ball, right, little kids, everybody's running down the field. And we looked at him and went, Douglas, go run after the ball. Literally, he was picking daisies.

00:07:10
Speaker 2: He turned around.

00:07:12
Speaker 1: He turns around and looks at us and goes, mommy, daddy, why I'm just gonna wait here. The ball is gonna come back up here, so I'm just gonna.

00:07:19
Speaker 2: Wait for it. He's smart, And.

00:07:23
Speaker 1: I said, this athletic career is over.

00:07:27
Speaker 5: Yeah, but that's okay.

00:07:30
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:07:30
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of like the parent responsibilities or the parent not even the responsibilities, but the mother takes over. And I think when a man has a boy, they see their place in the like parenting relationship more than when they have a girl. I think they evolved really quickly once that girl is born and they see that they are is needed as much as the mom is needed. But it's I think it's just in their head in the beginning until they actually start to experiencing it. And I know that's my son found out he was having a girl and was like, I'm not having any boy. And you know, he really wanted to carrying on my late husband's legacy. He wanted to name him John, and he had all these dreams for his boy. And he found out how he was having a girl, and we had the shower this weekend and he came with his T shirt that said girl Dad on it. So it took a little while, took a few months for him to kind of come to terms with it, but once he did, he's all in. So I think it just takes a little time. And I think that anonymous husband's reaction was like kind of knee jerk a little bit.

00:08:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well, Anonymous, let us know, congratulations.

00:08:32
Speaker 2: On your baby.

00:08:34
Speaker 1: We wish you a happy, healthy baby, that's what we're all wishing. Yes, all right, let's move on to our next one. This is from Court. I am about to become a single mom by choice, using a donor, And while I feel really empowered, I keep getting comments like don't you want a full family? It's starting to get in my head. How do you tune out other people's opinions and trust your own path?

00:09:01
Speaker 2: What says you, guys?

00:09:02
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna sit here and say the best family I had was with a single mother. Let me tell you that when my dad was president, it was an awful, awful family. So I don't think having a single parent or not having or having a you know, a couple, I don't think it matters, truthfully, because sometimes the best thing for the child to just have that single I'm just saying from an example, Baby, I'm sorry, no.

00:09:27
Speaker 5: No, no, keep going. You have that like experience.

00:09:30
Speaker 3: It's just like you, there's no such thing as the full experience, right because you're gonna have your best friends who might be men. You might have your brother who can be the uncle you can There's just so many different places that that can be taken care of, like the man to be there for the child. But I don't think it's necessary you need a father in there, you know what I mean, Because it's not about just having a father, it's having a good.

00:09:52
Speaker 2: Man raced exactly.

00:09:53
Speaker 1: And that's why when people say, you know, it's my like in my case, my stepmother was much more of a mother to me than my real mother ever was. And you're absolutely I love that, Hakim, that's spot on. What do about you, Monica do?

00:10:06
Speaker 5: Yeah. I was just gonna say, sometimes having two parents isn't always the healthiest you know situation, being a teacher and like lower economic like lower socio economical areas, some of those you know, two parent households were some of the worst you know situations for those kids. Was just because you have a mother and a father doesn't mean it's going to be a loving household. That single mother, she's gonna you know, cherish court. She's going to cherish that baby and give her so much love and they can, like Hakim said, get other people, Like, it's not going to be just her and baby. There's gonna be other people around in her life.

00:10:41
Speaker 3: You know.

00:10:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the family you choose kind.

00:10:44
Speaker 5: Of thing, Yes, exactly, And I mean that I can say that I my chosen family, Our baby Marley Murray's chosen family is going to be amazing. You know, she may not have any of my blood family in her life, but she's gonna have my best friends who I've known since middle school. You know, those are her aunties, and you.

00:11:04
Speaker 3: Will have some of your family because she has some of her family as well, her cousin. And she's dating a black man as well well. Married dating dating.

00:11:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just what happens. You date, you get married.

00:11:19
Speaker 5: Recovered that their sons are in like one is a sophomore in college and one is a senior in high school.

00:11:27
Speaker 4: This has happened a long time ago.

00:11:28
Speaker 3: Yes, ye, that's my bad. That's my bad. That's yeah, you're she's going to be a phenomenal. The thing is is that, like, yeah, she's going to be a phenomenal there. And the best I had was my mother. So like, at the end of the day, you you can be that for your child because you know what you don't want for your child, and trust me, you don't want a toxic command. So if you take your time, you have that baby, and you're going to have a beautiful step daddy to.

00:11:54
Speaker 5: Say that you never know and you know what's going to happen. She could very well meet a man and have a beautiful step step dad in their life.

00:12:02
Speaker 4: And that's a big thing these days. I mean, women are freezing their eggs or using a donor if they don't find somebody. Just because the don't find somebody in their child bearing years doesn't mean they're never gonna find somebody. So yeah, I think that you know, that just keeps a door open. They still get to be a mom and still get to find a meat possibly.

00:12:17
Speaker 5: And I think you just got to do what's right for yourself. And like people are gonna have opinions about anything.

00:12:22
Speaker 2: You can exactly.

00:12:24
Speaker 5: You know, I could my hair color and someone would have an opinion about it.

00:12:28
Speaker 4: That's for sure. You know what it is.

00:12:29
Speaker 1: I just had a dirty fought. Opinions are like blank, everyone has one.

00:12:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right.

00:12:36
Speaker 3: I'm confused. What does that mean?

00:12:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're so full that I can you know, I don't know what you mean? What Monica explained it to you later? Yeah, let me just say I just want to say, Court you asked your simple question was how do you tune out other people's opinions and trust your own path. By trusting your own path, It's exactly what you said, trust your own path and shut out other people's opinions. Tune in and you're you're well on your way, and we wish you all let us know again to you, happy, happy baby, You're about to embark on the most wonderful journey that life can offer you.

00:13:10
Speaker 3: You can't take opinions from people that's never been in her shoes too, So like both people's opinions and what they say, it doesn't matter because they don't know how to be in your shoes, how to walk five feet in your shoes, because they couldn't. Right. I think what she's doing is brave, and I think she's going what she wants and I think she should absolutely go for it. Absolutely you and.

00:13:28
Speaker 2: We want to hear.

00:13:29
Speaker 1: We want to hear what happens. We want to know names, birthdays, birthday, show up to the baby shop and I give and I give good gifts. So you know, you just want to keep that in mind.

00:13:41
Speaker 4: Me too, don't don't I hear of that one to me? Okay, well we have one more and this is from Tyler, I says Hi, Kathy and Susan is it unreasonable that I don't want to spend my third trive mester driving around a car full of drunk to year old man, I feel like I'm already sacrificing so much and this just feels inconsiderate. I'm trying not to freak out on him, but I can't help it. Guys, what do you think driving around a drunk a carful of drunk guys?

00:14:13
Speaker 5: What's the is that her husband her?

00:14:16
Speaker 4: I believe it's her husband and his friends.

00:14:18
Speaker 1: That is husband, partner, you know, somebody you shouldn't need.

00:14:22
Speaker 5: To be doing that, She should ever be doing that.

00:14:25
Speaker 3: I don't know why.

00:14:27
Speaker 2: I'm like, don't you want to know what she's sacrificing?

00:14:30
Speaker 5: Why?

00:14:31
Speaker 2: I mean that concerned me more than the drunk guys.

00:14:34
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just I feel like, the drunk guys, what are you doing? Why are you? What? What? Why are you?

00:14:42
Speaker 4: Is his father to be out with a bunch of drunk guys? It sounds like he doesn't fairly often. It's not like, yeah, she's spending her entire third trimester driving around there like you do. It's time.

00:14:53
Speaker 1: But again, why is Tyler saying she's sacrificing?

00:14:57
Speaker 2: Like sacrifice?

00:14:59
Speaker 4: What is she Maybe I don't know, maybe because she can't drink well, or the sleep.

00:15:05
Speaker 5: Time at home like resting. I don't know that.

00:15:09
Speaker 3: Just I think there's two things I want to say about this. So I think the first one is probably there's something deeper going on in that situation, getting drunk, in all of those things, because when I first found out she was, I was going through it emotionally because I'm like, I don't want to be like my father. I don't want to do this. I gotta be better in all of those things. I don't know what he may be going through. But I think on the second side is that like, yo, you got to start manning up, bro, Like you're not in your twenties. We're not in colleging where you're getting drunk and having your girlfriend who's pregnant. Why excuse me, You're right, I keep saying girlfriend. But we're engaged.

00:15:43
Speaker 4: We don't actually know what they're married.

00:15:44
Speaker 1: She's with this discuss, but they're engaged because they did it on our podcast.

00:15:47
Speaker 2: I just want to reiterate that.

00:15:48
Speaker 3: Go ahead, Yeah, No, I just I think I think she needs to put her foot down. I think it's it's a sign of respect. I think it's really disrespectful that this woman is going through nine months of From my point of you, what I see for the first three months is it's hard, and she's doing that specifically for Marley, but she's also doing it for us, right because I want this baby. She wants the baby in all of those things as well. So I think it's quite very, very very selfish of that person to be doing that. I think if he wants to raise a child, that whole scenario needs to be changed, because do you want your daughter to pick up after what you're doing getting drunk and driving around and all those things that make any sense?

00:16:30
Speaker 4: Yeah, living that party life.

00:16:31
Speaker 1: And let me say before we close this part out, Yeah, you bring up something really interesting, Hakeen that I hope you both remember. More free advice from Kathy.

00:16:41
Speaker 2: Kids will never yeh, well listen it. Listen, Hakim, listen up because Monica already has. Uh.

00:16:49
Speaker 1: Kids never listen to what you say. They watch what you do. That's what you're modeling. Your behavior is going to be the model for your children, not the words you tell them. The words reinforce your behavior. But you want to be a good role model.

00:17:05
Speaker 4: He's a father to be and is going out getting drunk out like fairly often. It is a little disturbing. I have to say, I think the conversation needs to be more not about you driving them, but why is he doing it? I think there's a deeper problem here.

00:17:18
Speaker 2: We wish you luck, Tyler, We wish you luck.

00:17:21
Speaker 3: Sure, sure, Tyler?

00:17:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, respectfully, all right, I just we have one little extra thing here before we get into a little game with you too. This is This is from someone in Kansas. It says, Hi, this is not a question, but more of a thank you to both of you. I listen to your podcast on the way to work every morning, and it has helped me tremendously Over the last year. I've had two miscarriages, six failed IUI treatments, and now going on my second round of IVF, hoping for my second child to complete our family. During all those ups and downs, I'm gonna cry, these podcasts have helped me to keep me distracted and most of all, to see what loving parents and grandparents you guys are, and just praying for the chance to have another child so that I can use all your parenting tips to make our family the best I can be.

00:18:21
Speaker 2: It can be.

00:18:22
Speaker 1: I was hoping to be on The Bachelor of Cruise at the end of this year, but with the family treatment now and at the second year, I don't know that what the future holds, but want to share my appreciation and admiration for both of you. I'm originally from New York, but lived in Boston. Yay Boston and Philly. Yay for Susan and Philly. If I recall one of you was from Boston, Yes, that is I and she now lives in Kansas. Lots of love to both of you always and whoever you are. That's made my day.

00:18:51
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:18:51
Speaker 1: That's very very kind of you, and I'll pass it along to Susan for sure when she gets back something too.

00:18:57
Speaker 3: Just like you're extremely strong and to be able to just present that to everybody, it just shows like yeah, I just yeah, truthfully guess yeah, really, I know that's that's so obviously I can't speak on it because I'm not a woman, but it's just like she's so strong for being able to just put herself out there and tell her story that way as well. So yeah, I mean there's a lot of women who are probably going through the same thing and they.

00:19:19
Speaker 4: Do so many, you know, so yeah, so many.

00:19:22
Speaker 2: That's you're absolutely right game, So kudos to you.

00:19:27
Speaker 1: Uh sorry, you can't be on the Bachelor Cruise with us, but we will definitely think about you.

00:19:31
Speaker 4: Good luck.

00:19:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, let us know, let us know.

00:19:34
Speaker 1: We hope that this next ivy uh uh comes, it works out, and that you have a beautiful baby coming from a.

00:19:42
Speaker 4: Great caring mother. Yeah sounds like a person. Yeah, we need, we need you to have some babies.

00:19:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need we need more moms like you. Okay, you can submit your burning questions to us by going to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour. Come back each week and see if we answer yours. We I love hearing from you. We love that you love our advice or not. Either way, we love to hear from you. So please please keep those letters, comments and questions coming.

00:20:11
Speaker 4: Okay, So I think we have a few more minutes with you, and you know we love our games, So if it's okay with you, we're going to play. We're gonna play a game called would you Rather? But this time it's for new parents. Hakeena, Momnica will each give us their answers. Okay, are you ready here's the first one. Never sleep through the night again, or always step on legos. And if you step on legos ever in your life, they hurt like crap.

00:20:37
Speaker 5: Listen, I would always step on legos. I like, I can walk on wood chips barefoot, like, so I would rather always step on leg.

00:20:44
Speaker 2: A man, Monica, what about you, Hockey?

00:20:46
Speaker 3: I mean, I'll wear socks, so I'll step on legos for sure.

00:20:50
Speaker 2: Sleep. Guys, that four letter words sleep, So you're sleeping.

00:20:53
Speaker 3: Through the night.

00:20:54
Speaker 4: It's not going to happen. I'm just letting you know.

00:20:55
Speaker 1: But okay, can I just say I said sleep is a four letter word. I was in the English major apparently I felt it failed. It's five letters. But you know what s l e P has slept. It's close enough.

00:21:07
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, s l e p t is slept.

00:21:12
Speaker 2: I didn't say slept. I said a word. Girl.

00:21:18
Speaker 1: Oh man, Hey, if fetch can be a word, so can slip. Okay, here's the next one. It's fetched from never mind, Okay, yeah, every Here's this one actually occurred in my family. So I want to know, would you rather change every diaper or handle every three m wake up call?

00:21:37
Speaker 4: Three am wake up call?

00:21:41
Speaker 2: What about you.

00:21:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna keep it a buck with you. I I have never changed a diaper before, so I know, I know, I know, I know, I know you will.

00:21:50
Speaker 2: You will.

00:21:51
Speaker 3: So I can't say which one would rather do, you know so, but I'm gonna stay like truthfully, I'd rather change the diaper if it's three am wake up calls. Come on now, I'm trying to do that diaper changing over the.

00:22:01
Speaker 2: What about you, Monica?

00:22:05
Speaker 5: Probably every diaper change again?

00:22:08
Speaker 3: Are you?

00:22:08
Speaker 1: Are you thinking about nursing, because that's a nursing baby. You're gonna be up anyway. Let him do the diapers.

00:22:16
Speaker 5: Let him do the diapers because those blowouts. You changed the blowout you can handle those.

00:22:24
Speaker 1: Team way to see it goes up the back of their back. Yeah, close the bram. You're gonna love it. Yeah, all right, shift shift, we're gonna do shifts if she's nursing.

00:22:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, can't you guys? Can't you? I'm sorry, can't you pump? And then I'll be able to just obviously I'm sorry. If I'm very like, I'm still you can pump.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: I didn't because why do you want to wake up and pump?

00:22:51
Speaker 2: You might as well, just feed the baby.

00:22:53
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I'm saying, she's just gonna pump throughout the day so.

00:22:55
Speaker 4: That I can use she has some, he has some.

00:22:58
Speaker 1: Well, I couldn't do that. The I had so much milk I could feed the neighborhood. So I did miss a feeding.

00:23:03
Speaker 4: I did not. I pumped, and I sometimes got a little extra sleep. So that's a great idea that you're learning.

00:23:09
Speaker 1: I was Hakm. I donated. I donated milk to the I'm not kidding. I donate a lot of milk to.

00:23:17
Speaker 3: Yo.

00:23:19
Speaker 1: Wait wait, can I just tell you watch Hiquem turned red Hakim. Also, my neighbor had a baby about the same time I had my first child, and she she couldn't feed an ant. She didn't have enough milk, but she tried. She brought she brought her son down to me and I nursed him and he slept for six hours.

00:23:37
Speaker 2: No, you did not, Yes, I did.

00:23:39
Speaker 3: You nursed him.

00:23:40
Speaker 1: I'm dying, what's wrong now? I love?

00:23:46
Speaker 2: She came down with me.

00:23:47
Speaker 1: She was so sleep deprived because the baby screamer, and she came down. I don't know what she came down for. I said, give me that baby. I said, do you want me to nurse him? She said, would you?

00:23:55
Speaker 2: And I said yeah, and that kid she took home, he said, for six hours.

00:23:58
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's crazy.

00:24:01
Speaker 2: The milk shop now is closed, But yeah, I had.

00:24:04
Speaker 1: I had so much fat content in my milk it was crazy, crazy, Good for you.

00:24:10
Speaker 3: I'm going to drink her breast milk too, for sure. I got to see what it tastes like.

00:24:13
Speaker 4: Are you going to do it?

00:24:15
Speaker 2: My husband is like that.

00:24:16
Speaker 1: I've never my husband did your husband.

00:24:20
Speaker 4: Never, never, ever, ever, And I'm dying to hear what it tastes like. So please when you do that, will you please do an Instagram post?

00:24:28
Speaker 2: You could do a taste test.

00:24:33
Speaker 1: Monica's milk and you know cream milk, oh milk, cream, Monica's milk, m M's milk.

00:24:40
Speaker 2: It's you know, you whole thing.

00:24:42
Speaker 4: We'll try to Okay, I'm looking at you. Gotta try it, but let's go like superficial now expensive stroller or luxury nursery.

00:24:54
Speaker 5: Expensive stroller.

00:24:57
Speaker 3: By the way, and they are nursery, I would say, the expensive nursery. That's a whole room. Isn't that a whole room in nursery?

00:25:04
Speaker 5: Yeah?

00:25:05
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do for you're a kid in a box with wheels.

00:25:08
Speaker 3: Hockey, I mean, or I can just wait. It depends, right, because if you have a stroller, you don't have to have an expensive stroller. Why would you need an expensive show?

00:25:16
Speaker 2: I can tell you why.

00:25:17
Speaker 1: You want one that converts where the baby you can hook it right into the car. Right, Monica knows these things.

00:25:23
Speaker 3: Just so you'd rather have your kid in the ghetto is basically what you're saying. You want You want to.

00:25:30
Speaker 5: Walls, holes in the walls.

00:25:35
Speaker 2: Okay, why can't we just have a regular stroller hockey.

00:25:39
Speaker 1: Let me just explain something to you right now, Yes, ma'am, go ahead. The woman that you just got engaged to is always right. Turn to Monica and say, Darling, whatever you want for this, for Marley.

00:25:51
Speaker 2: You will have.

00:25:52
Speaker 3: For Marle Marie you will have.

00:25:54
Speaker 1: There you go, Marley, Marie is gonna have a beautiful, beautiful nursery. And Monica, if you need help on strollers, Janan and I don't know which one to get, so.

00:26:03
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I just one ye.

00:26:05
Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, all right, how about this one? How about this one?

00:26:09
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:26:10
Speaker 1: Overshare baby content online or not post them at all? Because before you answer, like my daughter, whose baby, whose daughter's three today? We I am not allowed to post her face on Instagram except a story because it's gone in twenty four hours. So are you gonna overpost or not post at all? Which would you rather do?

00:26:33
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:26:33
Speaker 5: I have friends who do both. My one friend, her son is not on like his face is not on it, but my other friend, her daughter is whatever. Probably overshare.

00:26:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna be the same. I like to, as you know, I show my peoples. I show you all on my Yeah, like I'm gonna show what's mine and like, yeah, I have my trophies, like you know what I mean, I'm gonna show what I got. Check.

00:26:55
Speaker 4: We hope you overshare. We hope you share like all the like down in jurty content with the spit up on your shoulders and exhausted and the baby is finally asleep and we're we're our house is a mess, and we love that because it makes you real people and people need.

00:27:09
Speaker 5: To see that exactly, look at your perfect that's that's the day.

00:27:21
Speaker 4: Here's one that happens all the time. So I'm going to give you your choice, but you'll it'll happen for both. Both these things will happen. Forget the diaper bag once a week or always run out of wipes at the worst time, it will happen. Both will happen.

00:27:34
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a hard one.

00:27:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I'm gonna say the whites. The diaper bags. You can always just grab some from you know, grab something, go to Target or go to Walmart.

00:27:47
Speaker 2: I'm with you either.

00:27:49
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:27:49
Speaker 3: So is she pooping and you wipes and that's tough.

00:27:55
Speaker 2: I'm with you, guys.

00:27:56
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I think forgetting the diaper bag, because yeah, you can just run to the store if you need to wait a little bit longer.

00:28:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, so what the poop runs up their back? You know, you're in the same position you were before. Yeah.

00:28:08
Speaker 4: Well, honestly, I mean, if you have the diaper bag and you're like in like the bathroom and you're on the changing table and you relation you don't have to wipes in it, you can grow up like a paper towel. You could win some time. You can do something. There are ways out.

00:28:20
Speaker 1: Of the upside down in the shower, yeah.

00:28:25
Speaker 4: I mean done all these things. There are ways to get up. I think the diaper bag, honestly, you. Chances are you have formula and there you have the diapers, you have the baby wipe. Like running to a store while you're at there, when you just sat down at the restaurant and the baby poops and you forgot the diaper bag is an issue.

00:28:41
Speaker 1: The truth is the truth is you guys are never going to forget a diaper bag. Believe me, You'll forget Hakim before you'll forget the diaper. Okay, I got a funny one. I've got a funny one because you know, I love you, Hakeen. And this, actually it wasn't my son's first word, But would you rather have your baby's first word be a curse word like shit or your first name? M hmm, it's not it's not a true question, guys.

00:29:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think me and her might have different answers.

00:29:16
Speaker 5: I would say probably our first name because they're going to hear that often.

00:29:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say the first name. I think. I mean, I'm gonna try my best to not curse around my kids. Yeah, you know, I mean they're gonna hear it regardless. But yeah, I think it's just with my household that I grew up in, and you just disrespect what girls.

00:29:33
Speaker 5: I don't want that.

00:29:34
Speaker 2: I want that now you don't.

00:29:39
Speaker 1: You don't my fortune, but my second child, who you know, has kept me on my toes this whole life. My husband backed out of the garage into like there was like a post that you know, in the corner of the house, and he drove into it. And my husband said, I'd always said to my husband, you cannot swear because our children will repeat that's what they do. I said, they model after you, right, So my husband drives into this post and literally knocks it loose and says, son of a bitch, and my fourteen month old in the back goes somepha bit somethhing bit like rant it all together, and to my husband, I said, you're proud?

00:30:17
Speaker 2: Are you proud of yourself?

00:30:18
Speaker 3: Now?

00:30:19
Speaker 2: Are you?

00:30:19
Speaker 1: And literally, like the next month, every time anything happened, that was my fourteen month old send I could have.

00:30:27
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, that's not yeah, sorry, it's funny now. It was not funny at the time.

00:30:32
Speaker 5: I would much rather just be our names because that is our first names.

00:30:37
Speaker 3: Like, but she's not gonna call me by my first name.

00:30:40
Speaker 5: But if that's what she hears, like yeah, saying Hakeen like she's gonna know.

00:30:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, sure, you're gonna start calling each other mommy and daddy.

00:30:49
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how they learn it.

00:30:52
Speaker 2: Is looking for you, mommy. That's the way it rolls.

00:30:56
Speaker 4: Okay, let's do one last one because this is actually an important one and you probably be both these people at one point. Be the only one who can calm the baby or the baby only calms for your partner.

00:31:08
Speaker 2: Which would you rather?

00:31:09
Speaker 5: Oh, I'd rather be the only one that I can can calm the baby.

00:31:12
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

00:31:13
Speaker 3: I'd rather be the only one I can call the baby too.

00:31:16
Speaker 4: Well, you can fight the only one they can cam her.

00:31:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, the baby's gonna be you know what's gonna happen, John Marley, Marie is gonna be a lying there. Head's gonna be going back and forth like an owl while the two of them fight over which one's gonna cover down.

00:31:30
Speaker 4: I can do it. I can do better. There's gonna be times in the middle of the night that you're gonna be like, Hakim, I can't calm her, even though maybe you can, And you say you're the only one they can commerce Sweety take the baby.

00:31:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, for.

00:31:41
Speaker 3: Sure, Yeah, I mean, I don't mind taking care of the baby at all, like for me, Yeah, because I just want to make your life easier to because I know you have to breast and all that stuff. So like if I try to calm the baby down so you can chill for a little bit, then cool.

00:31:53
Speaker 1: I love this, I have to say, Hakim. I always knew that there was this side of you.

00:32:00
Speaker 2: Monica.

00:32:01
Speaker 1: You are lovely. You two make a wonderful couple. We are so happy a Bachelor Nation. We cannot wait for Marlene and Marie to enter this role and become the newest if only for a day or two until the next one pops out. Yeah, the newest youngest member of Bachelor Nation. We we really we want to keep hearing from you. Let us know about your journey. We're so excited for you.

00:32:26
Speaker 3: Really, my hairline fixed too, if y'all want to know about that, you know, because I'm receiving a little bit. Yeah, yeah, because knowing like why you about that? Mop head? All right? Talk to me now when you see me, and I must have like what's up? What's up?

00:32:41
Speaker 1: Trust me, hakm, You're not gonna You're not gonna be worried about your hairline. You're gonna be wondering when you got your last shower. You know, where is the clean underwear. There's no clean underwear left because you're darling, beautiful, engaged fiance bride. Whenever we are at the time this baby comes, is going to be sleep and saying, I don't know, howney, go find something, and you know what, You're gonna go find something.

00:33:03
Speaker 2: You're not gonna be worried about your hairline? Trust me. Two what two showers a day?

00:33:16
Speaker 3: You know what? Two showers a day? John?

00:33:18
Speaker 1: No, I take I take one in the morning when I wake up, and I take one before I go to bed so that I can put on clean pajamas and snuggle down in my bed because you know, it's only me and my bed, hockey, and I gotta be warm and cuddly.

00:33:30
Speaker 2: Somebody's gotta you know what I mean.

00:33:32
Speaker 3: You know some days, you know, on the weekends, if I would go out, I'll sometimes miss a day, you know what I mean, So.

00:33:38
Speaker 2: List no judgment, no judgment.

00:33:40
Speaker 3: You know, I'm like, damn, it's been two days.

00:33:44
Speaker 1: Let me stop, you know, let me just say what Monica says, Darling, I love you, but you know you can go sleep in another room, you know, just just you might want to think about that.

00:33:51
Speaker 3: Oh we already have that when I snore.

00:33:55
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's that's right.

00:33:58
Speaker 2: Hey, you know, let's see you later.

00:34:00
Speaker 1: Get get to sleep, apt me test done, do something, don't that's not that's right, bro.

00:34:04
Speaker 3: It's so I have a pass so don't feel good on my face.

00:34:10
Speaker 2: And I got to get an inspire. I'm doing a commercial form, get an inspire?

00:34:15
Speaker 3: What what's that?

00:34:16
Speaker 2: Lookt up?

00:34:17
Speaker 4: They put it in your chest, It goes up. You just read about it and has it and he never source.

00:34:22
Speaker 3: Ask you a question? Yeah that for old folks or is it for young folks?

00:34:28
Speaker 2: Haem?

00:34:28
Speaker 1: You you're the one with receding hairline. Buddy, welcome to the old folks club. Okay, so that's so hackem just there. I want to thank everyone, yo. I'm sorry. That's it's truth, the truth, yo, cafy, I love you. Sorry ahead, okay, Well, while Hakeem gets control of himself, I want to thank the rest of you for joining us on Golden that's what our happy hours, Golden Hour today.

00:35:03
Speaker 4: And make sure you rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:35:07
Speaker 1: And you can follow us on social media at That's Our Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation until next week.

00:35:14
Speaker 4: See you next time,