Nicole Vaunt on Art Porn, Nude Shoots on Glaciers, and Why Penis Size Doesn’t Matter

<v Speaker 1>You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
<v Speaker 1>our sex podcast collective, visit pleasure Podcasts dot com.
<v Speaker 2>Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall. Unfiltered art model
<v Speaker 2>turned adult film star Nicole Vont has lived a life
<v Speaker 2>as bold and uncensored as the images she creates. Nicole
<v Speaker 2>says she's explored her body and sexuality her entire adult life,
<v Speaker 2>viewing her adult entertainment career as a natural extension of
<v Speaker 2>that curiosity and experimentation. From posing completely naked on icebergs
<v Speaker 2>to attending space camp twice, her adventures are as eclectic
<v Speaker 2>as her resume. In this episode, we'll delve into how
<v Speaker 2>Nicole turns desire into art, the wild stories behind her
<v Speaker 2>travels and shoots, and what she's learned from a career
<v Speaker 2>that spans fine art nudes to hardcore Welcome.
<v Speaker 3>Nicole, Hello, Thank you for having me.
<v Speaker 2>You're so welcome. First of all, I feel like I
<v Speaker 2>would be remiss to not mention the Shrek sweater.
<v Speaker 4>Yes, yes, I don't know why he's yellow, but this
<v Speaker 4>is my off brand Shrek sweater that I love, and
<v Speaker 4>I was so glad to have a reason to wear
<v Speaker 4>it because it does not get enough attention.
<v Speaker 2>Are you like a massive fan of Shrek? Where did
<v Speaker 2>that come from?
<v Speaker 3>I do love Shrek.
<v Speaker 4>But I actually found this at a Buffalo Exchange in
<v Speaker 4>Santa Monica when I was there for my birthday a
<v Speaker 4>few years ago and just thought it was really cute
<v Speaker 4>and I have had so many people comment on it,
<v Speaker 4>and I really thought that it just needed more screen
<v Speaker 4>time and more attention because Shrek is amazing.
<v Speaker 2>For some reason, that makes me think of like Halloween. Oh,
<v Speaker 2>there's a Shrek filter that somebody used on me when
<v Speaker 2>I was shooting for OnlyFans, and it was very realistic looking.
<v Speaker 2>I actually just wrote on my phone somewhere.
<v Speaker 3>Did it make you want to be green?
<v Speaker 4>No?
<v Speaker 2>Not at all. I was very very happy. I was not,
<v Speaker 2>but it was a very good filter, But I was.
<v Speaker 2>It was kind of disturbing because I was also naked,
<v Speaker 2>so I was.
<v Speaker 3>Like, mm okay, where but yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of since Halloween's coming up, just like before we
<v Speaker 2>get into all like the sex stuff, are you dressing
<v Speaker 2>up for Halloween?
<v Speaker 3>I am dressing up for Halloween.
<v Speaker 4>I have really gotten into cosplay this year and so
<v Speaker 4>I have made over the past few months a ton
<v Speaker 4>of different costumes. So I definitely have LeBlanc from the
<v Speaker 4>Leak of Legends that I'm really excited about. I just
<v Speaker 4>did an Ezma from Emperor's New Groove look, which I'm
<v Speaker 4>really excited about. And I also did Natalie Portman's character
<v Speaker 4>from the movie Closer when she's in the strip club.
<v Speaker 4>And I haven't decided which one of those I'm going
<v Speaker 4>to use for actual Halloween, but it's Halloween all months.
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna wear them ahole month.
<v Speaker 2>I have no idea who any of these people are.
<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh, Okay, research team, let's go in the comments,
<v Speaker 4>say who your favorite character is. You've really never seen
<v Speaker 4>The Emperor's New Groove. No, you should watch it. It
<v Speaker 4>is so funny.
<v Speaker 2>What is it?
<v Speaker 4>It's an animated movie from the early two thousands.
<v Speaker 2>Marsha just had to like stick her head out to
<v Speaker 2>give me a dirty look.
<v Speaker 3>How can you not note it's such a great movie.
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was. It's a cartoon.
<v Speaker 3>It is a cartoon.
<v Speaker 4>It's an animated movie and it's about I don't know
<v Speaker 4>if it's like inc and Aztec or Mayan, but it's
<v Speaker 4>about an emperor who is kind of a problem and
<v Speaker 4>he goes on some crazy hijinks because of his advisor, Izma,
<v Speaker 4>who is voiced by Eartha kit Which she is such
<v Speaker 4>an amazing voice and amazing person, and it is so funny.
<v Speaker 4>The characters are incredible, the lines are incredible. It's an
<v Speaker 4>amazing almost there's some slapstick elements about it, but it
<v Speaker 4>also has a lot of heart. It's learning to be
<v Speaker 4>a good person, which is something we could all use
<v Speaker 4>more of.
<v Speaker 2>I have a four year old. You should not seen it.
<v Speaker 4>Watch it with your four year old and get back
<v Speaker 4>to me. That is your homework for next time.
<v Speaker 2>Okay. So, because do you want to hear because I
<v Speaker 2>have a four years ol, do you want to hear
<v Speaker 2>who I'm going to be for?
<v Speaker 4>I'm guessing someone from Frozen? No, that was two years ago? Okay,
<v Speaker 4>and actually I didn't did I?
<v Speaker 2>Yes? No, I did dress up for that. I got
<v Speaker 2>a very intricate, expensive costume for Frozen was two years ago, I.
<v Speaker 3>Was okay, Okay, Okay, so that's old news.
<v Speaker 2>Yes, that was two years ago. She's over Frozen.
<v Speaker 4>Okay, Okay, too old. You're right, four years is two years.
<v Speaker 4>It's too old for it.
<v Speaker 2>I'm Flor de la Clur from Harry Potter.
<v Speaker 3>Oh, that's a beautiful costume.
<v Speaker 2>I know, my little hat. Yeah, I haven't gotten it.
<v Speaker 2>I haven't gotten it yet. I really hope it gets here.
<v Speaker 2>I hope it fits me.
<v Speaker 3>Oh, that's always the thing.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>I had to order it from I think, like Korea. Okay,
<v Speaker 2>And because of the sizing, I had to order an
<v Speaker 2>xx L because of my boobs.
<v Speaker 3>Oh no, your boobs are too big.
<v Speaker 2>It was literally an XL and xx L.
<v Speaker 4>Wow.
<v Speaker 2>I know. So I'm obviously gonna have to like take
<v Speaker 2>it into but yeah, so anyways, it's hard.
<v Speaker 3>To be so hot, you know. Oh god, I know,
<v Speaker 3>it's really struggle for you.
<v Speaker 2>I'll post it if it looks halfway decent, great. If
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't, then I won't. What do you normally do
<v Speaker 2>in Halloween? Do you like go to parties? Do you
<v Speaker 2>hand out candy? Do you go trick or treating?
<v Speaker 4>I live in a really remote part of the city
<v Speaker 4>that I live in, and so there are no trick
<v Speaker 4>or treaters coming down my road.
<v Speaker 3>No one can find me.
<v Speaker 4>It's it's obviously ideal ninety nine point nine percent of
<v Speaker 4>the time for Halloween. I'm not a huge spooky person.
<v Speaker 4>I like spooky stuff, but I don't do scary movies.
<v Speaker 4>I don't do anything like that, but I do love
<v Speaker 4>a costume. So usually I'll be with my best friend
<v Speaker 4>who lives here, and will go out to like some
<v Speaker 4>immersive haunted theater was really cool that we did last year,
<v Speaker 4>sort of those sorts of kinds of things. I'm a
<v Speaker 4>theater nerd, so I love to go. I love seeing theatre.
<v Speaker 4>I love seeing immersive stuff. And I think we might
<v Speaker 4>walk around and see all the houses that are decorated
<v Speaker 4>for Halloween, because I know there's some neighborhoods in LA
<v Speaker 4>that go.
<v Speaker 2>All out and I love to see that. Yeah, there
<v Speaker 2>are definitely some that are like, if you don't decorate
<v Speaker 2>your house, it's kind of there's some There was somebody
<v Speaker 2>who bought a house in one of those neighborhoods and
<v Speaker 2>literally like the decorations came with the house. I think, Oh,
<v Speaker 2>like the owners like, I mean, that's kind of nice.
<v Speaker 3>Then you don't have to pay for them.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, maybe it was part of the deal.
<v Speaker 3>It's part of the hoa Halloween sections.
<v Speaker 2>Hoay's out here to be crazy.
<v Speaker 3>Are they?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?
<v Speaker 3>Oh I'm so glad I don't have one.
<v Speaker 2>Sounds stressful, all right, let's get to the thing that
<v Speaker 2>people are probably here for, the nitty gritty, the nitty gritty,
<v Speaker 2>So let's talk about how you got started in the
<v Speaker 2>adult industry.
<v Speaker 4>Getting into the adult industry was kind of just a
<v Speaker 4>natural progression of all the things that I have been
<v Speaker 4>doing for the past fifteen years. I started out as
<v Speaker 4>like a nude model, and I was always interested in
<v Speaker 4>erotic or explicit content, and I've been doing that kind
<v Speaker 4>of work on my own freelance or for artistic projects
<v Speaker 4>for a really long time. And then last year I
<v Speaker 4>just passed my one year conniversary. But last year I
<v Speaker 4>was interested in getting into it. I felt like I
<v Speaker 4>was in the right place physically, emotionally, mentally to deal
<v Speaker 4>with the industry, and I reached out to my friend
<v Speaker 4>Casey Calvert, who is so amazing. She's so knowledgeable about everything,
<v Speaker 4>and I just asked her a bunch of questions because
<v Speaker 4>I didn't actually know what the lifestyle was, like, I
<v Speaker 4>know how to have sex, I know how to have
<v Speaker 4>sex on camera, but I didn't know what else was required,
<v Speaker 4>and I wanted to make sure that they were things
<v Speaker 4>that I could do. So I wanted to ask about
<v Speaker 4>what times are things usually happening. Do I need to
<v Speaker 4>be up by certain hours, like do I need to
<v Speaker 4>be in LA or do I fly down for things?
<v Speaker 4>And so she answered a bunch of my questions and
<v Speaker 4>at the end, she very kindly was like, I will
<v Speaker 4>put you into a touch with my agent, with Mark Spiegler.
<v Speaker 4>And I've known about Mark tangentially for a long time.
<v Speaker 4>I read Asa Kira's memoirs, which were awesome, and she
<v Speaker 4>mentions him in there, and so I knew about him,
<v Speaker 4>and I knew about his status in the industry, and
<v Speaker 4>so I got in touch with him. He asked me
<v Speaker 4>a bunch of questions and then he was like, next
<v Speaker 4>time you're in LA, if you.
<v Speaker 3>Want to have a meeting, we can do that.
<v Speaker 4>And I literally looked to see how many miles I
<v Speaker 4>had on my account. This was on a Friday. I
<v Speaker 4>flew down on a Monday, met with him on Tuesday,
<v Speaker 4>and it went really well. We talked about a bunch
<v Speaker 4>of different stuff. I met George and he wound up
<v Speaker 4>taking me on a go see to Vixen and that
<v Speaker 4>went really well. And so from there it kind of
<v Speaker 4>just started snowballing and I was coming down the next
<v Speaker 4>month to start doing scenes.
<v Speaker 2>Wow. So, first of all, having someone like Casey Calvert
<v Speaker 2>as an ally is amazing. She's literally one of my
<v Speaker 2>favorite people in the industry. I love her so much
<v Speaker 2>and a wealth of information and so intelligent and so experienced.
<v Speaker 2>So that's what a great like you know, introduction. You
<v Speaker 2>said that you were in the right place like mentally,
<v Speaker 2>So what was that? What did that mean to you?
<v Speaker 2>Because I feel like a lot of people get into
<v Speaker 2>the industry, not a lot of people, I don't want
<v Speaker 2>to say a lot of people, but I do know
<v Speaker 2>people who get into the industry and they're not ready
<v Speaker 2>and then they regret it later or they wish they
<v Speaker 2>had waited. So what did that mean to you being
<v Speaker 2>like ready for it?
<v Speaker 4>Well, first of all, I was already on the West Coast,
<v Speaker 4>where for most of my life I lived on the
<v Speaker 4>East Coast. I'm from the East Coast and getting into
<v Speaker 4>porn wasn't really an option because so much stuff is
<v Speaker 4>in LA and so that was just never really a
<v Speaker 4>tangible thing to me. And I think also just I
<v Speaker 4>started doing porn a lot later than a lot of people.
<v Speaker 4>I really waited. I felt like till I knew myself
<v Speaker 4>and my boundaries really well, I knew what I was
<v Speaker 4>interested in. I knew that I wanted to do this,
<v Speaker 4>and I wasn't doing it out of a sense of
<v Speaker 4>something that I needed, but something that I wanted to do.
<v Speaker 4>And that's a very privileged place to be in. But
<v Speaker 4>I feel really grateful that I was able to make
<v Speaker 4>that choice.
<v Speaker 2>And you thought about obviously, like the consequences and everything
<v Speaker 2>that would come with it as well.
<v Speaker 4>I had already been naked on the Internet for over
<v Speaker 4>a decade, so.
<v Speaker 3>Really doing porn.
<v Speaker 4>There is a difference between nude modeling and porn. But
<v Speaker 4>to the front ladies at church, the little church ladies
<v Speaker 4>in the front row, there's not really a difference to
<v Speaker 4>them between showing your titties on the Internet and sucking
<v Speaker 4>dick on the internet. So they were going to be
<v Speaker 4>anti what I was doing regardless. So I had already
<v Speaker 4>accepted that and thought about that, so I wasn't coming
<v Speaker 4>in without that knowledge.
<v Speaker 2>So tell me about your first What was the first
<v Speaker 2>job that you got booked on.
<v Speaker 4>So the first scene that I did, I it was
<v Speaker 4>for Team Skeet, and the very first one was actually
<v Speaker 4>a Halloween based scene which was very fun and lots
<v Speaker 4>of props and silliness, which is something that I love.
<v Speaker 4>I love incorporating humor into porn especially. I just think
<v Speaker 4>that it's nice to have that levity. And I shot
<v Speaker 4>that scene and then I actually had three other scenes
<v Speaker 4>booked with Team Skei that week, and so I wound
<v Speaker 4>up doing four total scenes in that week long span,
<v Speaker 4>and they were all really great, Like the talent I
<v Speaker 4>was using was pretty nice, and the videographer photographer was
<v Speaker 4>really nice. Makeup was really sweet. So it was honestly
<v Speaker 4>very easy for me. There are a couple things looking
<v Speaker 4>back that I'm like, that probably was something that I
<v Speaker 4>should have thought a little bit more about. But what's
<v Speaker 4>hard about this industry is even though I was very prepared,
<v Speaker 4>there are things that you just can't know until you're
<v Speaker 4>in it. And now that I know those things, I
<v Speaker 4>look back on it and I'm like, I would have
<v Speaker 4>done a couple things differently, But I don't regret it.
<v Speaker 4>I had a really good time and I'm glad to
<v Speaker 4>keep going with it.
<v Speaker 2>Can you say what those things are that you would
<v Speaker 2>have done different I.
<v Speaker 4>Don't really want to dig into that kind of stuff.
<v Speaker 4>I think it's just knowing what standards are in porn,
<v Speaker 4>and I was not as aware of what behaviors are
<v Speaker 4>acceptable and not acceptable, And now that I was more knowledgeable,
<v Speaker 4>I was like, oh, there were some things that happened
<v Speaker 4>that aren't as normal as I thought they were. And
<v Speaker 4>that's just something that you kind of have to learn.
<v Speaker 4>And it's something that if I knew someone who is
<v Speaker 4>going into porn, I would make sure I told them
<v Speaker 4>because I wasn't told it.
<v Speaker 2>So along those lines, if there's you know, someone watching
<v Speaker 2>a girl that's looking to get into porn, what advice
<v Speaker 2>would you give them? Is there anything in particular that
<v Speaker 2>you think that they should really think about before they
<v Speaker 2>get into porn, things that they should look into.
<v Speaker 4>If you're going to get into porn, I think it
<v Speaker 4>is really important that you know your boundaries ahead of time,
<v Speaker 4>know what you're willing to do, what you're not willing
<v Speaker 4>to do. It's really easy to get swept up in things,
<v Speaker 4>wrapped up in the entire experience, and it's just good
<v Speaker 4>to have a really strong sense of self and sense
<v Speaker 4>of boundaries going into this job. And I would say
<v Speaker 4>that for any gender, you just have to know enough
<v Speaker 4>of yourself and be self possessed enough that you can
<v Speaker 4>stand up for yourself, advocate for yourself. Don't be afraid
<v Speaker 4>to advocate for yourself. I would say that's a huge
<v Speaker 4>part of it. If there's something that you don't like
<v Speaker 4>or don't want to do, push back. You can do
<v Speaker 4>it in a way that's not going to prevent you
<v Speaker 4>from getting work, and it will help preserve your mind
<v Speaker 4>and your spirit.
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually curious because you know, I stopped directing like
<v Speaker 2>two and a half years ago, and when I you know,
<v Speaker 2>at the end of my directing, I mean, I was
<v Speaker 2>only shooting for like Alu brands, so Twisty's and Browsers,
<v Speaker 2>and they always have talent assistance on set, and they
<v Speaker 2>always have boundary checklists. Do all of the brands do
<v Speaker 2>the same thing? Do they follow the same guideline or
<v Speaker 2>is is it just mixed?
<v Speaker 4>There's usually I'm trying to think, I think at this
<v Speaker 4>point and port and again, I've only been in the
<v Speaker 4>mainstream for about a year, so I'm not the most
<v Speaker 4>knowledgeable person. But I think for the most part, most
<v Speaker 4>companies at this point have at the very least a
<v Speaker 4>check in that you're doing beforehand. Consent is talked about
<v Speaker 4>things you want to do, don't want to do, and
<v Speaker 4>some companies will send you an email afterwards asking about it,
<v Speaker 4>because the other hard part is that, especially if you
<v Speaker 4>just came or had a really intense e, you're not
<v Speaker 4>necessarily in your full mind, and maybe afterwards you realize that, like,
<v Speaker 4>oh there was something that I didn't like, or you've
<v Speaker 4>just thought about it more and you're like, oh, this
<v Speaker 4>did make me a little uncomfortable, and I didn't realize
<v Speaker 4>right afterwards, And so some companies will email you afterwards,
<v Speaker 4>and that's nice to be able to give feedback where
<v Speaker 4>it's not in front of the person that you just
<v Speaker 4>performed with or performed for.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's always like and I think a lot of times,
<v Speaker 2>especially if people don't have like a ton of sexual experience,
<v Speaker 2>come into the industry, they may not know what they
<v Speaker 2>like and they don't like until they do it.
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely.
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes they don't do it for the first time until
<v Speaker 2>they're in a scene, and so it's like they learn
<v Speaker 2>about themselves during that process.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and I definitely think you can learn about yourself
<v Speaker 4>in porn, like through porn or through any kind of
<v Speaker 4>art really art or performance. But it does help to
<v Speaker 4>have a decent amount of sexual experience. Before you go
<v Speaker 4>into it, so you aren't making those realizations when the
<v Speaker 4>stakes are higher.
<v Speaker 2>What are some of your favorite scenes that you've done.
<v Speaker 4>I got to do a Slade scene with Valentina Nappi,
<v Speaker 4>who is just one of the coolest people, so down
<v Speaker 4>to earth, so awesome, really fun to be around.
<v Speaker 3>And we got so dan thinks.
<v Speaker 4>I love her so much. I wish I could hang
<v Speaker 4>out with her more. I want her to be my friend.
<v Speaker 4>We got to do a scene together where we're cat
<v Speaker 4>burglars invading this rich guy's house and then we find
<v Speaker 4>something special that we get to use on each other
<v Speaker 4>in his safe, and there's this really fun part where
<v Speaker 4>I'm like cracking the safe with the technology on my
<v Speaker 4>iPhone as if and that was so much fun.
<v Speaker 3>I had such a great time with that.
<v Speaker 4>I did that one for Slade, and then I also
<v Speaker 4>did another scene for also for Vixen. I did one
<v Speaker 4>for Deeper, and I love working with Deeper. I am
<v Speaker 4>a fetishist down to my core. I love kinky stuff
<v Speaker 4>and I just love the Deeper team. That entire team
<v Speaker 4>is so awesome and fun to be around. And I
<v Speaker 4>got to do a really fun scene with Dante Cole
<v Speaker 4>where he is a writer, and I am this kind
<v Speaker 4>of evil.
<v Speaker 3>Hotelier.
<v Speaker 4>I own this hotel that he's checked into in order
<v Speaker 4>to write his book, and then I give him some
<v Speaker 4>very devious inspiration while he's writing.
<v Speaker 3>So this is very fun.
<v Speaker 2>So you said you're a theater NERD. Yes, so you
<v Speaker 2>have a theater background. So do you prefer shooting scenes
<v Speaker 2>that have acting incorporated?
<v Speaker 4>I love doing scenes. We're acting is part of it,
<v Speaker 4>but it also doesn't have to be. I really just
<v Speaker 4>enjoy the entire process. I love having sex. That's why
<v Speaker 4>I'm in this industry. First and foremost. I love having sex.
<v Speaker 4>I love experiencing other people's bodies. I love playing around
<v Speaker 4>with desire and all of those kinds of things. So
<v Speaker 4>I love getting the chance to act, but I also
<v Speaker 4>don't need it. I think there's a time and place
<v Speaker 4>for a really fun gonzo scene where we shake hands
<v Speaker 4>and we get to it. I am an equal opportunity person.
<v Speaker 2>That's the great thing about porn. There's something for everybody.
<v Speaker 2>As the weather cools down and the days get shorter,
<v Speaker 2>we are all spending more time snuggled up inside. And
<v Speaker 2>if you want to make those cozy nights even hotter,
<v Speaker 2>you need to check out load boost from VB Health Now.
<v Speaker 2>People take load boost for its research backed ingredients that
<v Speaker 2>are designed to naturally increase semen volume and even the taste,
<v Speaker 2>which we girls love. It is also a popular supplement
<v Speaker 2>for those trying to support fertility while conceiving, So think
<v Speaker 2>of it like your fall upgrade, adding extra whipped cream
<v Speaker 2>to your pumpkin spice latte. So grab your blanket, light
<v Speaker 2>the candles, and make sure that you're stocked up to
<v Speaker 2>keep things warm and wild all season long. And right now,
<v Speaker 2>you can get ten percent off when you visit loadboost
<v Speaker 2>dot com and use code Holly at checkout. That's loadboost
<v Speaker 2>dot com code Holly or click the link in the
<v Speaker 2>episode description. Now, you are actually into fine art photography, right,
<v Speaker 2>so tell me a little bit about that, Like what
<v Speaker 2>piqued your interest in photography and when did you start
<v Speaker 2>doing that.
<v Speaker 4>I started doing photography gosh, when I.
<v Speaker 3>Was in middle school.
<v Speaker 4>I would set up little tableaus and have my sister
<v Speaker 4>pose for them, and that was really fun. I started
<v Speaker 4>doing self portraits when I was in high school, and
<v Speaker 4>I always had an interest in it. I think because
<v Speaker 4>I don't have the best memory and what I love
<v Speaker 4>about photography is it captures a moment, It preserves a moment,
<v Speaker 4>and you can refer back to it. It's something that
<v Speaker 4>I find incredibly valuable in my life in general, and
<v Speaker 4>I just enjoy the art of making a beautiful photograph.
<v Speaker 3>I've always been drawn to that.
<v Speaker 2>It's so weird that you said that, because that's always
<v Speaker 2>what I say. It's like you freeze a moment in
<v Speaker 2>time that will never ever occur again. And I, yeah,
<v Speaker 2>I also have like an obsession with time, like the
<v Speaker 2>passing of time. I have like because I have a
<v Speaker 2>great fear of death, and which we don't have to
<v Speaker 2>get into all that.
<v Speaker 3>So we can get into it.
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I find people who are afraid of death
<v Speaker 4>so fascinating because I, of course I don't want to
<v Speaker 4>die anytime soon, and I really enjoy being alive, but
<v Speaker 4>I also am glad that I'm not going to live forever.
<v Speaker 4>I think immortality is for the week, honestly, because I
<v Speaker 4>think that you it is only through death that we
<v Speaker 4>can truly appreciate of what a lot of what life
<v Speaker 4>gives to us. And so I'm afraid of the pain
<v Speaker 4>of dying for sure, and seeing someone else die would
<v Speaker 4>be truly horrible. Someone I know and love would just
<v Speaker 4>be truly horrible. And I know that grief will come eventually.
<v Speaker 4>But at the end of the day, I think that
<v Speaker 4>there is a relief and a stillness that comes from
<v Speaker 4>death that I don't think that there's anything to be
<v Speaker 4>afraid of in that way. But I'm curious, why are
<v Speaker 4>you scared of dying?
<v Speaker 2>I just think, well, I agree with you. I don't
<v Speaker 2>want to be immortal either. The idea of like living
<v Speaker 2>forever seems exhausting, right, thank you, But I also don't
<v Speaker 2>want to die. Just the idea of non existence is
<v Speaker 2>really I think it's the fear. I think it ultimately
<v Speaker 2>comes down to the fear of the unknown, right, Like
<v Speaker 2>how can I just not exist? How can like there
<v Speaker 2>just be nothing? You know what I mean? Like that?
<v Speaker 2>Like that?
<v Speaker 3>How do you feel about space?
<v Speaker 4>Then?
<v Speaker 2>I don't like it.
<v Speaker 4>This is so interesting to me because I think a
<v Speaker 4>lot of people who don't like that vastness, that unknowingness
<v Speaker 4>of death also do not like space because it has
<v Speaker 4>a lot of space.
<v Speaker 3>I would go to space in a heartbeat. I would
<v Speaker 3>love to go to space.
<v Speaker 2>Fuck that.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>See, I think it's so weird because I actually was
<v Speaker 2>going through my old podcast and I was like kind
<v Speaker 2>of re editing some reels and I came across a
<v Speaker 2>podcast I did with me and Malkova and we had
<v Speaker 2>a long talk about this about death, and this was
<v Speaker 2>actually I was talking about my dad and how his
<v Speaker 2>health was feeling. And this is before he died, and
<v Speaker 2>he died like a couple of years ago, and so
<v Speaker 2>it was kind of weird to watch it now, like
<v Speaker 2>on the other side of that experience. And I had
<v Speaker 2>just talked to him about dying when I did that
<v Speaker 2>podcast with her, and I had asked him if he
<v Speaker 2>was afraid to die, because I knew like it was coming,
<v Speaker 2>and he told me that he wasn't afraid of dying
<v Speaker 2>and that he felt that, you know, his life was
<v Speaker 2>like the small blip on you know, the vast you know,
<v Speaker 2>on the vast like line of eternity, and like that
<v Speaker 2>brought him comfort that like he was just a speck
<v Speaker 2>of dust in the universe, which I was like, how
<v Speaker 2>was that comforting to you? Yeah, you know what I mean.
<v Speaker 4>I also find it very comforting the idea of just
<v Speaker 4>not existing anymore.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think I think you and Hammer were like
<v Speaker 2>aligned in that a lot of in a lot of ways.
<v Speaker 4>But again, this is all just a thought experiment for me, right, Like,
<v Speaker 4>when it comes time, who knows how I'll feel.
<v Speaker 2>Right, I mean, I remember when my grandmother was at
<v Speaker 2>the end of her life, like she couldn't wait to die,
<v Speaker 2>you know, and she would say every morning she would
<v Speaker 2>wake up and she'd be like, I can't believe I'm soul. Yes, Grandma,
<v Speaker 2>she would just be so bummed. She's like and live again.
<v Speaker 2>I know. She was like, come on, she's like all
<v Speaker 2>of our mental faculties. Like she you know, she just
<v Speaker 2>like her body was failing her and she just hated that.
<v Speaker 2>And she also like, you know, her husband had died
<v Speaker 2>and she just was ready to go. And she actually
<v Speaker 2>had a wonderful death. She like woke up in the morning,
<v Speaker 2>she went down to like the river. She's lives in
<v Speaker 2>South Africa, like, watched the kids play. I have a
<v Speaker 2>huge family over there, had like her watered down half
<v Speaker 2>whiskey at noon, went to take a nap and died. Wow.
<v Speaker 2>Great way to go out.
<v Speaker 3>That's a great way to go. Yeah, absolutely absolutely.
<v Speaker 2>But yeah anyways, so so yeah, so I've had this
<v Speaker 2>like obsession with time because like every time I go
<v Speaker 2>to bed, I think about, like that's another day that's
<v Speaker 2>like been stolen from stolen from you, like and like
<v Speaker 2>how like what did I achieve today? You know? Like
<v Speaker 2>how is like was today? Like did I did I
<v Speaker 2>do something that was worthwhile today? Like? What is it?
<v Speaker 4>A sense of like value, there's like a sense of
<v Speaker 4>self value that if you weren't productive that day, like
<v Speaker 4>you don't feel as valuable.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think so too. I had like an obsession
<v Speaker 2>with productivity as well.
<v Speaker 3>Those are tied for sure.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So uh, anyways, therapist, let me tell you what
<v Speaker 2>else is wrong with me?
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?
<v Speaker 2>You know, what else? Do you need to unload your checking?
<v Speaker 2>Me down on my lap? My lap's available anyway. Sorry,
<v Speaker 2>we should probably get back to talking about you. I
<v Speaker 2>don't know, I feel like most people are here for that. Okay.
<v Speaker 2>So you've posed naked on a lot of icebergs.
<v Speaker 3>I have. I have posed on many an iceberg.
<v Speaker 2>And you've even taught photography workshops in Iceland and become
<v Speaker 2>known for these like daring iceberg shots.
<v Speaker 4>Uh.
<v Speaker 2>You said that the first Iceland trip was pretty rough.
<v Speaker 2>What drives you to commit such extreme shoots and why
<v Speaker 2>did you go back and do it seven more times.
<v Speaker 4>It is amazing that I went seven more times because
<v Speaker 4>my very first time I went with my partner, who's
<v Speaker 4>an amazing photographer who I name is Corwyn Prescott, who
<v Speaker 4>I was teaching the workshops with. And we went first
<v Speaker 4>as a scouting trip, of course, because we wouldn't go
<v Speaker 4>without knowing the place. And I had poison ivy all
<v Speaker 4>over half of my body, half of my my entire
<v Speaker 4>body was covered in poison ivy.
<v Speaker 2>Did you get it in icy Wall?
<v Speaker 4>No. I had done a photo shoot in upstate New
<v Speaker 4>York about three or four days prior to us leaving,
<v Speaker 4>and I had it all over my face, this side
<v Speaker 4>of my body, my arm, my leg, it was horrible.
<v Speaker 3>So I had intense poison ivy.
<v Speaker 4>And we get there and I don't know if you've
<v Speaker 4>ever been to Iceland, almost all of the flights from
<v Speaker 4>the US land at like seven in the morning, and
<v Speaker 4>so you just have to stay awake long enough so
<v Speaker 4>that you don't get completely fucked with jetlag. And so
<v Speaker 4>I'm tired, I'm covered in poison ivy, and we decided
<v Speaker 4>to When did.
<v Speaker 2>The poison ivy start to manifest itself?
<v Speaker 4>Oh?
<v Speaker 3>Okay, No, immediately.
<v Speaker 2>I know it takes because my husband is poison I
<v Speaker 2>I know poison ivy and poison oak.
<v Speaker 4>They're different, they are different, they are similar. My skin
<v Speaker 4>will react. It actually might have been poison oak. I
<v Speaker 4>can't actually remember now, quite a few years ago, but
<v Speaker 4>they will react very similarly. And this was on the
<v Speaker 4>East Coast, and my skin is intensely sensitive to it.
<v Speaker 4>And I think it was made worse because I shot
<v Speaker 4>in upstate New York, and I think my clothes had
<v Speaker 4>been sitting on some of the stuff and I didn't realize,
<v Speaker 4>and the oil got into my clothes. And then I
<v Speaker 4>put my clothes on and got dressed, and then I
<v Speaker 4>drove back to Philly, where I was living at the time,
<v Speaker 4>and I hadn't changed or showered or anything, so that
<v Speaker 4>oil was just sitting on my skin. And it started
<v Speaker 4>with an itch right here on my torso, and I
<v Speaker 4>was like, oh, I must have gotten a bug bite or.
<v Speaker 3>Something, and then it just expanded. This was also, mind you,
<v Speaker 3>a day before my birthday.
<v Speaker 4>So on the day of my actual birthday, I got
<v Speaker 4>to be covered in calamine lotion in Asbury Park, New Jersey,
<v Speaker 4>where we decided to go and visit friends, and I
<v Speaker 4>am just dying of itchiness.
<v Speaker 3>It is so horrible.
<v Speaker 4>And then a few days later we go to Iceland
<v Speaker 4>and we land in Iceland, we'd rent this car called.
<v Speaker 2>At the airport like covered in calami.
<v Speaker 4>Thankfully, there's clear calamine lotion there is that, so I
<v Speaker 4>did not look like I had a horrible disease going
<v Speaker 4>into a foreign country. Believe me, this was something that
<v Speaker 4>I had worried about and got in just fine, not
<v Speaker 4>a big deal. It was starting to resolve by them.
<v Speaker 4>I at least had all the things that I needed.
<v Speaker 4>But when we landed, we rented this vehicle called a Skota,
<v Speaker 4>which I've never heard of before, and it's kind of
<v Speaker 4>a hatchback. And we're like, oh, we'll sleep in the car,
<v Speaker 4>because we've slept in the car a ton when we've
<v Speaker 4>traveled around the US, and it's never been a problem.
<v Speaker 4>Well sometimes it's been a problem. Most of the time
<v Speaker 4>it hasn't been a problem. But this did not lay
<v Speaker 4>perfectly flat when you put the seats back, and so
<v Speaker 4>the seats are the back of it is literally tilted
<v Speaker 4>up like this, and We're attempting to sleep on this
<v Speaker 4>tilted thing, and I'm covered in poison ivy. We are
<v Speaker 4>not sleeping well at all, and we still got some
<v Speaker 4>of the most beautiful photos of my life. Wow, because
<v Speaker 4>Iceland is that beautiful. It was completely worth it. We
<v Speaker 4>did have to do a decent amount of photoshops on
<v Speaker 4>one side of my body, Thankfully, I just did a
<v Speaker 4>lot of posing on this side and tried to minimize
<v Speaker 4>showing this side.
<v Speaker 3>But it was absolutely worth it.
<v Speaker 4>And the fact that I could have all of those
<v Speaker 4>things kind of not go right and still want to
<v Speaker 4>go back speaks to the magic of the place, which
<v Speaker 4>if you haven't seen it, you should really go if
<v Speaker 4>you're able to, because there's nowhere else like Iceland.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.
<v Speaker 3>I this is sponsored by Iceland Area.
<v Speaker 2>I know, right I you know it'll be on my
<v Speaker 2>bucket list when I finally get to travel again.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, do you take vacations? Have you thought about that?
<v Speaker 2>I mean we The problem is with a kid, it's
<v Speaker 2>hard to go far like I can't. She's not going
<v Speaker 2>to sit on a plane for four hours for four hours,
<v Speaker 2>four hours. The longest I've taken her is like two
<v Speaker 2>hours to Cabo. Okay, Yeah, but the poison I quick
<v Speaker 2>a side about the poison ivy thing. So this is
<v Speaker 2>a straight So you know, like some people are actually
<v Speaker 2>immune to a poison IVY. Yes, I'm one of those people. Well,
<v Speaker 2>you're so lucky.
<v Speaker 4>I know.
<v Speaker 2>It was crazy. You're so lucky. So my husband got
<v Speaker 2>it and he had never had it before, and same thing.
<v Speaker 2>He thought it was a bug bite and he thought
<v Speaker 2>it was fleas. He thought we had fleas. And I
<v Speaker 2>remember like coming home, you know, like that dimacious earth,
<v Speaker 2>it's like that white powder. I remember coming home and
<v Speaker 2>he had covered the entire house and dionacious earth, like
<v Speaker 2>it was all over the couches, it was all over
<v Speaker 2>the rugs, it was everywhere. And I was like, it
<v Speaker 2>looks like someone had like a crazy cocaine party. Was
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck is going on here? He's like, we
<v Speaker 2>have fleas. I'm like, we don't have fleas. I'm like, look,
<v Speaker 2>I don't have anything. And then when it started to
<v Speaker 2>get worse, and then we put two and two together
<v Speaker 2>that he poison oak, and yeah, it was pretty pretty brutal.
<v Speaker 3>It's really gnarly.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. I do not recommend of how to multiple times
<v Speaker 4>in my life and I really don't recommend it.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh god, So these workshops, are you still doing anything?
<v Speaker 2>Like that.
<v Speaker 3>We aren't currently doing workshops like that.
<v Speaker 4>The fact is that with prices having gone up, it's
<v Speaker 4>really hard to do those kinds of destination workshops right now.
<v Speaker 4>We have been teaching them in the Pacific Northwest because
<v Speaker 4>that's where we live. And also there's so many amazing places,
<v Speaker 4>especially on the Olympic Peninsula, which Olympic National Park. If
<v Speaker 4>you haven't been there, it is the only rainforest in
<v Speaker 4>the lower forty eight and it is so beautiful, giant ferns,
<v Speaker 4>moss everywhere, things just dripping from the trees, and of
<v Speaker 4>course all of the Twilight related I was just gonna.
<v Speaker 2>Say, I was like, should I admit that I always
<v Speaker 2>think of Twilight?
<v Speaker 4>I think I think a lot of people think of Twilight.
<v Speaker 4>There's literally Bella's truck. You can go and see Bella's truck.
<v Speaker 3>Really one of our.
<v Speaker 4>Workshop Aty's last time we did one was really into
<v Speaker 4>Twilight and she was like, Oh, can we go see
<v Speaker 4>the truck?
<v Speaker 3>Can we go to this place? It was actually very fun.
<v Speaker 4>There's you know, they have those fire warning signs in
<v Speaker 4>some of the national parks where it goes from like red, green, yellow, red,
<v Speaker 4>and it's the warning. So there's one that's like vampire
<v Speaker 4>risk level and then.
<v Speaker 3>They adjust it.
<v Speaker 2>That's cute.
<v Speaker 4>It's very fun, I think at this point, and I
<v Speaker 4>support people going there and supporting the local economy there.
<v Speaker 2>What's it like having a partner as a photographer. I mean,
<v Speaker 2>you guys do a lot of shoots, like destination shoots.
<v Speaker 3>Right, Honestly, it's the best.
<v Speaker 4>I'm so lucky that I get to constantly create with
<v Speaker 4>someone as talented and hard working as he is. And
<v Speaker 4>I know that that is something that not everyone has,
<v Speaker 4>and I do not take it for granted ever. I
<v Speaker 4>am incredibly, incredibly lucky that we get to create.
<v Speaker 2>Do you have a hard time ever going on vacation
<v Speaker 2>and just like not shooting? Yes, yeah I would. I
<v Speaker 2>would too.
<v Speaker 4>All vacations have to have some kind of business related
<v Speaker 4>thing that happens. You could write, then you could write
<v Speaker 4>it off. That's exactly why I do it. And I'm
<v Speaker 4>just a slut and I like doing stuff.
<v Speaker 2>How is your relationship handle you like doing adult work.
<v Speaker 4>I've been doing this work for a really long time.
<v Speaker 4>I've also been with my partner for a very long time.
<v Speaker 4>He and I have done erotic and explicit work for
<v Speaker 4>almost our entire relationship, and so he has been kind
<v Speaker 4>of comfortable with it the whole time. He's also mostly
<v Speaker 4>shot nudes, and so he's very comfortable with the nude body.
<v Speaker 4>And I think a lot of people's partners have problems
<v Speaker 4>with this work because they don't understand it and they
<v Speaker 4>aren't aware of it. I know a lot of my
<v Speaker 4>stripper friends also run into this where their partners haven't
<v Speaker 4>really been to strip clubs or things like that, and
<v Speaker 4>they just don't know what the actual reality is. And
<v Speaker 4>because my partner is so involved in nude photography, he's
<v Speaker 4>also performed as well.
<v Speaker 3>He is kind of involved in almost.
<v Speaker 4>Every aspect of it that you can be, and he
<v Speaker 4>knows that just because you're doing this work related thing
<v Speaker 4>with someone, it does not mean that there's anything else
<v Speaker 4>beyond work with that person. There can be if you
<v Speaker 4>want there to be. I always recommend that if you're
<v Speaker 4>interested in someone, make sure the camera in the videography
<v Speaker 4>is off before you pursue something.
<v Speaker 3>Don't get messed up with that.
<v Speaker 4>If you want to go on a date with someone,
<v Speaker 4>ask them do it separately from any industry related stuff.
<v Speaker 4>But he is just one of the kindest and best
<v Speaker 4>people that I know, and if conflict does come up,
<v Speaker 4>we just talk about it and we resolve it as
<v Speaker 4>best we can because we're teammates. We are a team.
<v Speaker 4>I could not have the life that I have without him.
<v Speaker 4>I don't have a one person life. I have a
<v Speaker 4>two person life, and he's an essential part of it.
<v Speaker 2>So from a viewer's standpoint, many men watching porn might
<v Speaker 2>compare themselves to what they see. What's your message to
<v Speaker 2>male fans around body image, performance, anxiety or the pressure
<v Speaker 2>to measure up. I think we both know that we're
<v Speaker 2>talking about like the penis NB penis size fear that
<v Speaker 2>most men have.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, first of all, I always like to say this
<v Speaker 4>porn is a fantasy, and also camera angles are real.
<v Speaker 4>So yes, a lot of people in porn have really
<v Speaker 4>big dicks. But also there's something to be said for
<v Speaker 4>when you are using a wide angle lens, especially if
<v Speaker 4>you're performing with like a female person who's really tiny,
<v Speaker 4>the dick is going to look even bigger. A wide
<v Speaker 4>angle lens and a tiny little body are going to make.
<v Speaker 3>A huge difference.
<v Speaker 4>So you have to take everything that you see in
<v Speaker 4>porn with a grain of salt. You have to think
<v Speaker 4>critically about the media that you're ingesting and that includes porn,
<v Speaker 4>and I would say to all those people out there,
<v Speaker 4>stress and anxiety is normal. Sex can be really stressful,
<v Speaker 4>whether it's on camera or not. And I think the
<v Speaker 4>best thing that you can do for yourself is to
<v Speaker 4>pay attention to your partner, to the person that you're
<v Speaker 4>doing things with. That is how you're going to be
<v Speaker 4>a great lover and give someone a great experience. Pay
<v Speaker 4>attention to how they're reacting to stuff that they're doing,
<v Speaker 4>and take your skill level seriously. Level up those skills.
<v Speaker 4>I want to see you leveling up your condolinga's skills.
<v Speaker 4>I want to see you leveling up your four placed skills.
<v Speaker 4>Have more going on than just worrying about your dick,
<v Speaker 4>because there's so many other things besides just P and
<v Speaker 4>V that you can utilize and that you can not
<v Speaker 4>only have a great time for yourself, but also have
<v Speaker 4>a great time with the other person.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think so many men forget about the foreplay
<v Speaker 2>because the problem is is that a lot of men
<v Speaker 2>get their sex education, unfortunately from porn, and porn, as
<v Speaker 2>you said, is a fantasy and also like it has
<v Speaker 2>a time limit and an attention span of the viewer
<v Speaker 2>that it has to pay attention to, right, So it's
<v Speaker 2>not going to do a long drawn out foreplay because
<v Speaker 2>most people are going to fast forward through that, right.
<v Speaker 2>So generally it's like the girls wet and the sex
<v Speaker 2>happens right away. Like newsflash is not what we probably use.
<v Speaker 4>Lube so is being used and lube and toys are
<v Speaker 4>your friend.
<v Speaker 2>Yes, so so yeah, guys think that they just like
<v Speaker 2>need to have that big dick and that's what's going
<v Speaker 2>to get them there. But like women, like we need
<v Speaker 2>that foreplay to like get us to open up and
<v Speaker 2>to start. And I think you're right. They miss that
<v Speaker 2>like crucial essential beginning moment where like women, you know,
<v Speaker 2>we the attention and and the the feeling of being
<v Speaker 2>wanted and needed, and like that's such a crucial element
<v Speaker 2>that I feel like, is it just kind of swept aside.
<v Speaker 3>So much of.
<v Speaker 4>Desire is in the mind, and you need to be
<v Speaker 4>engaging her mind before you're engaging with her body. And
<v Speaker 4>there are so many people that I've been with where
<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't have necessarily been like, oh that person's so hot,
<v Speaker 4>but there's something else about them with the way they
<v Speaker 4>interact with me or touch me, or the pheromones of
<v Speaker 4>it all that I'm like, Okay, I am here, I
<v Speaker 4>am in it, which is also why I think it
<v Speaker 4>can be hard using dating apps or hookup apps because
<v Speaker 4>you lose that in person sense, and that in person
<v Speaker 4>sense is so important.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely for me, Like confidence is a big thing. Yes,
<v Speaker 2>what's like the one trait in guys that you really
<v Speaker 2>look for? Or maybe like passion to passion.
<v Speaker 4>The thing I look for in all of my partners
<v Speaker 4>is passion. I want someone to nerd out about something.
<v Speaker 4>I want them to have desire and excitement. That excitement
<v Speaker 4>translates from person to person, and if I meet someone
<v Speaker 4>who's really into something and really excited, that makes me
<v Speaker 4>feel more excited about the topic and about them. So
<v Speaker 4>it's not just about physical skills. It's about being a
<v Speaker 4>more interesting person. You are going to make yourself more
<v Speaker 4>attractive if you are interesting and you have more things
<v Speaker 4>to talk about and share.
<v Speaker 2>So it's like that that old work on yourself, and
<v Speaker 2>then you know more people will come build it, and
<v Speaker 2>as will come.
<v Speaker 3>Build it, and they shall come and you shall come.
<v Speaker 2>Ah, oh good one. I want to go back to
<v Speaker 2>your your fine art photography because these cars were out
<v Speaker 2>of order. O, so we jumped around a little bit. Okay,
<v Speaker 2>So you said that you've experimented with your body and
<v Speaker 2>sexuality your entire adult life, and that horn is a
<v Speaker 2>natural extension of that exploration. Can you explain what that means.
<v Speaker 4>So, I've always been a very experimental person. I've always
<v Speaker 4>been drawn to new experiences, to novelty, to new sensations.
<v Speaker 4>Even when I was a teenager, I was always seeking
<v Speaker 4>darker or different things. It's always been something that I've
<v Speaker 4>been interested in. And I've been comfortable in my body
<v Speaker 4>and my sexuality for most of my life. Not that
<v Speaker 4>I haven't had insecurities, of course, but I've always been
<v Speaker 4>interested in sex and interested in bodies. And so I
<v Speaker 4>started nude modeling. I was doing implied nudes when I
<v Speaker 4>was seventeen, and then when I was eighteen, I started
<v Speaker 4>doing nudes and just felt really comfortable with it, and
<v Speaker 4>I loved the experience of being an artist muse, being
<v Speaker 4>part of the larger history of nude art, and it
<v Speaker 4>just was already an interest of mine. And then it
<v Speaker 4>was also a way that I could make money because
<v Speaker 4>when I graduated, there were not a lot of jobs
<v Speaker 4>lined up, and I was really burned out on my major,
<v Speaker 4>and so being able to travel the world, travel the
<v Speaker 4>country and get to meet people that I wouldn't otherwise
<v Speaker 4>get to meet was so exciting for me. And I
<v Speaker 4>got to create beautiful images with people. So I had
<v Speaker 4>always had an interest in being naked, being experimental, and
<v Speaker 4>through modeling and eventually through videography and going into mainstream,
<v Speaker 4>they've all kind of just organically flowed together in a
<v Speaker 4>really beautiful way.
<v Speaker 2>When you're on a shoot, especially neud or erotic, do
<v Speaker 2>you ever feel vulnerable and how do you manage that
<v Speaker 2>vulnerability mentally, emotionally, physically so that you can stay present
<v Speaker 2>and competent.
<v Speaker 4>I haven't found it a problem to stand my ground
<v Speaker 4>when things come up, and I've always been a kind
<v Speaker 4>of forceful personality, and so I never felt really vulnerable,
<v Speaker 4>partially because I always made sure someone knows where I am.
<v Speaker 4>I really try to vet people before I shoot with them,
<v Speaker 4>asking for references for photo shoots or for scenes, that
<v Speaker 4>kind of thing. So I have come up with a
<v Speaker 4>lot of systems to make sure that I'm safe. But
<v Speaker 4>I also think a huge component of it is being
<v Speaker 4>involved in the community and listening to what the community
<v Speaker 4>is saying about different people, whether that was being on
<v Speaker 4>Model Mayhem forums or talking with other models or other photographers.
<v Speaker 4>Getting the experience from everyone will make you It's not
<v Speaker 4>an infallible system, but it can make you feel more comfortable,
<v Speaker 4>and you'll also just know what the standards are. Talking
<v Speaker 4>to models who are older than you or performers who
<v Speaker 4>have more experience like I did with Casey, will empower
<v Speaker 4>you to be able to stand your ground or to
<v Speaker 4>push back on things. And so I have been lucky
<v Speaker 4>to have a lot of support system and a forceful
<v Speaker 4>personality that has made me not feel as vulnerable in
<v Speaker 4>situations that might make other people feel vulnerable. Also, I
<v Speaker 4>don't feel vulnerable when I'm naked. That's not the times
<v Speaker 4>when I feel most vulnerable. You can be vulnerable fully dressed,
<v Speaker 4>and I just don't navigate the world with that.
<v Speaker 3>Fear necessarily when I'm naked.
<v Speaker 2>I guess it's different for everybody, right Like for you,
<v Speaker 2>it's a self expression and obviously it's something that you
<v Speaker 2>love doing. I mean, the people that feel the most
<v Speaker 2>free when they're naked are definitely the people who are
<v Speaker 2>probably meant to be here, I.
<v Speaker 4>Truly feel that I am doing what I'm meant to
<v Speaker 4>be doing. It feels very That's why I keep going
<v Speaker 4>back to that word organic. I feel like this has
<v Speaker 4>been a very natural and organic progression of both who
<v Speaker 4>I am as a person and my interests and where
<v Speaker 4>the monetary compensation is.
<v Speaker 2>I want to ask you some personal questions about you yourself.
<v Speaker 2>What do you think is your best characteristic and your
<v Speaker 2>worst characteristic.
<v Speaker 4>I think my best characteristic is my decisiveness. I am
<v Speaker 4>definitely able to make choices quickly, and I think my
<v Speaker 4>weakest trait is problem solving, which when I get stressed,
<v Speaker 4>my ability to solve a problem will short circuit. And
<v Speaker 4>I have learned to hack that part of my life
<v Speaker 4>by having people around me who are better at problem solving,
<v Speaker 4>who I trust, who I can go to, who will
<v Speaker 4>help me.
<v Speaker 2>That's interesting because they're almost kind of the same thing,
<v Speaker 2>sort of.
<v Speaker 4>They are so related, and usually when people are decisive
<v Speaker 4>that they are good at solving problems. But I am
<v Speaker 4>definitely someone who goes by into wish a lot of times,
<v Speaker 4>and I have a pretty strong sense of things. I
<v Speaker 4>also navigate the world as if I can do everything
<v Speaker 4>or anything, which has come back to bite me many
<v Speaker 4>a time, but it's also allowed me to do things
<v Speaker 4>that I wouldn't have been able to otherwise. So I
<v Speaker 4>think that decisiveness has been a boon to me in
<v Speaker 4>a lot of ways.
<v Speaker 2>Are you one of those people that believe it, like
<v Speaker 2>if you learn from something that there's no real thing
<v Speaker 2>is mistakes, it's just experiences.
<v Speaker 4>No, there are such things as mistakes. They exist. I
<v Speaker 4>have made them, certainly. Am I more knowledgeable for having
<v Speaker 4>made a mistake?
<v Speaker 2>Yes?
<v Speaker 3>Do I relish and accept making mistakes? Absolutely not. I
<v Speaker 3>would prefer not.
<v Speaker 4>To make them at all, But I am human, and
<v Speaker 4>I'm slowly learning to accept that I will make them.
<v Speaker 2>What is a trait that you deplore most in others?
<v Speaker 2>And what is a trait that you cherish most in others?
<v Speaker 4>There are two traits that I really deplore in other people.
<v Speaker 4>One is more judgmental than the other. I really don't
<v Speaker 4>like people who have big egos. I really don't think
<v Speaker 4>that serves anyone. I don't care how established you are.
<v Speaker 4>There's really no need to have a big ego, especially
<v Speaker 4>if you're trying to gatekeep. There's really no need for that.
<v Speaker 4>I'm a big fan of the rising tide lifts all ships.
<v Speaker 4>Way of navigating my life, and the more judgmental one
<v Speaker 4>is that I don't like when people are lazy. I
<v Speaker 4>really need to be surrounded by people who are being
<v Speaker 4>active in their lives, and I don't want people to
<v Speaker 4>be passively going through their lives.
<v Speaker 3>But that's also not my call.
<v Speaker 4>And what I see is laziness might just be someone
<v Speaker 4>resting or recharging, which is why I'm saying it's kind
<v Speaker 4>of judgmental, because that's a very objective thing to apply
<v Speaker 4>to people.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but the trait that I would say is.
<v Speaker 4>The most important to me is kindness, hands down, in
<v Speaker 4>every interaction. I think that there is a need for kindness,
<v Speaker 4>and we could be getting better as people in society
<v Speaker 4>if we just were a little kinder and thought a
<v Speaker 4>little bit more about other people.
<v Speaker 2>Do you think society is becoming kinder or less so?
<v Speaker 4>I do not think that our current society is set
<v Speaker 4>up to celebrate kindness. I think our current society is
<v Speaker 4>set up to celebrate individualistic, capitalistic drive, and kindness does
<v Speaker 4>not play well with being cutthroat. And I think that
<v Speaker 4>we've been told for a long time that succeeding by
<v Speaker 4>any means possible is the goal without thinking about how
<v Speaker 4>that affects us and everyone else in a larger sense.
<v Speaker 4>So I would love to see us become a more
<v Speaker 4>kind people in general. I don't see it happening anytime soon,
<v Speaker 4>but I would really like to believe it.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm with you on that one, all right. So
<v Speaker 2>I want to ask you about your project fifty Models,
<v Speaker 2>fifty States and that crazy trampoline story.
<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh, Okay, So let me set the scene.
<v Speaker 4>I was working on fifty Models, fifty States, which was
<v Speaker 4>a project that I did with my partner, and we
<v Speaker 4>were going to photograph a model in every single state,
<v Speaker 4>including Alaska and Hawaii. And we're going around the country,
<v Speaker 4>sleeping in our car, reaching out to people. And we
<v Speaker 4>get to Alabama and one of our friends lives in
<v Speaker 4>Birmingham and she invited us over, and we had been
<v Speaker 4>seeing Birmingham all day. She takes us back to our
<v Speaker 4>house and there is in the backyard this giant, plastic
<v Speaker 4>wrapped monstrosity of a trampoline. And I love trampolines. They
<v Speaker 4>are one of the highlights of my childhood is jumping
<v Speaker 4>on a trampoline.
<v Speaker 3>There's just such a source of joy in them.
<v Speaker 2>Now, I have to ask you, are you of the
<v Speaker 2>age that when you jumped on the trampoline, was there
<v Speaker 2>like a netting around the side. There was not.
<v Speaker 4>Okay, when I was growing up, there was absolutely no
<v Speaker 4>safety precautions on a trampoline.
<v Speaker 3>It was just a raw dog in the side, people.
<v Speaker 2>Who were breaking their arms really resolutely.
<v Speaker 4>And so I was not used to seeing one with
<v Speaker 4>this entire structure all around it. And I'm like, oh
<v Speaker 4>my gosh, that would be so fun to go on
<v Speaker 4>the trampoline. And we're hanging out with my friend and
<v Speaker 4>she's like, oh, do you want to smoke a little bit?
<v Speaker 4>And I haven't At that time, I hadn't smoked in
<v Speaker 4>like ten years. It was something that I did with
<v Speaker 4>my friends like a couple times. I was not a
<v Speaker 4>like drug person growing up. I was like having sex
<v Speaker 4>with my boyfriend and reading nerdy, smuddy books in my house.
<v Speaker 3>I was a nerd through and through.
<v Speaker 4>But I was like, you know what, Yes, I want
<v Speaker 4>to smoke a little bit. It's going to be really fun.
<v Speaker 4>We're having a great time. And our dog was with us,
<v Speaker 4>and so he had never seen a trampoline before and
<v Speaker 4>was freaking out. He's running around, He's jumping in the
<v Speaker 4>trampoline and off the trampoline and yelling at us and
<v Speaker 4>just being the little referee that he likes to be,
<v Speaker 4>because he was really not enjoying us being on this trampoline.
<v Speaker 4>But I'm jumping higher and higher. We're all on the trampoline.
<v Speaker 4>There's five of us. We're jumping, and I start to
<v Speaker 4>feel something strange, and I look down and I realize
<v Speaker 4>that I had been laughing and giggling and jumping for
<v Speaker 4>so long that I was literally pissing myself. I literally
<v Speaker 4>was having so much fun that I just peeded and
<v Speaker 4>soaked my underwear. I had to go inside egg for
<v Speaker 4>some pants, beg for some fresh undies so that I
<v Speaker 4>had something to change into because I was having that
<v Speaker 4>much fun on this trampoline.
<v Speaker 2>So wait, did you not feel it you had to
<v Speaker 2>go to the bathroom? Not at all.
<v Speaker 4>I could not tell at all. I was high as fuck.
<v Speaker 4>We were jumping around. I was not paying any attention
<v Speaker 4>to that. I was paying attention to my dog and
<v Speaker 4>how good it felt to try to get as big
<v Speaker 4>of a jump as possible, and it just.
<v Speaker 2>I got to tell you, Molly after I had a kid.
<v Speaker 2>I do not get on a trampoline without going to
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom first, just to be safe.
<v Speaker 3>This is smart.
<v Speaker 2>I've done a lot of public floor exercises since then,
<v Speaker 2>but just you know, you never know, that's.
<v Speaker 3>Fairy wise, very wise. I'll just wear a diaper.
<v Speaker 2>I guess, hey, you know what, someone out there might
<v Speaker 2>pay a lot of money for that kind of customer.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you know, if you want me to jump on
<v Speaker 4>a tramplin until I pee, I think I could get there.
<v Speaker 2>So lastly, what's next for Nicole Von Are there any
<v Speaker 2>upcoming projects or goals, whether in modeling, porn, photography, or
<v Speaker 2>even another field, anything you're excited about, anything that you
<v Speaker 2>can tease for us, or just anything you want to
<v Speaker 2>achieve by the end of the year.
<v Speaker 4>I would really like to work with more porn companies.
<v Speaker 4>I love shooting porn. I love to be involved in
<v Speaker 4>this industry. I'd love to work with Browsers who I've
<v Speaker 4>never worked with. I would love to work with Elegant
<v Speaker 4>angel I'm just ready to be on people's sets. I
<v Speaker 4>want to be out there working and making a set better.
<v Speaker 3>So that's a huge.
<v Speaker 4>Thing, and I definitely want to do more cosplay related stuff.
<v Speaker 4>If anyone has cosplay ideas nerdy stuff, I'm here for that.
<v Speaker 3>I would like to get better at playing.
<v Speaker 4>D and D specifically and coming up with more costumes
<v Speaker 4>and ideas for that. And then I just this is
<v Speaker 4>kind of a secret thing that I haven't really talked about,
<v Speaker 4>but I just started learning how to do silversmithing, and
<v Speaker 4>so I've been learning how to make rings and bolos
<v Speaker 4>and I will be sharing.
<v Speaker 3>Some of that journey as I do it.
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's really cool, amazing. I love that. Well, Nicole,
<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for coming on. Can you let
<v Speaker 2>everybody know where they can find you online? Please?
<v Speaker 3>I'm Nicole Vant.
<v Speaker 4>You can find me everywhere online on the name Fantastic.
<v Speaker 4>That's va un tas t i C. I'm on OnlyFans.
<v Speaker 4>I would love if you would come and join me there.
<v Speaker 4>I have so much fun being my slutty little self
<v Speaker 4>over there. I'm also on Instagram and I am on Twitter, Akax, I.
<v Speaker 3>Am on there everywhere.
<v Speaker 4>Please come and find me, Come join me, bring your passion,
<v Speaker 4>bring your nerd dumb.
<v Speaker 3>I want to hear about it.
<v Speaker 4>And the only other thing that I would have to
<v Speaker 4>say is that if you love artistic photography, if you
<v Speaker 4>love art nudes, I highly recommend checking out Into the
<v Speaker 4>Wild by Corwyn Prescott, which is a fifteen year anthology
<v Speaker 4>of his work of art nudes all over the world.
<v Speaker 4>It's a nine pound beautiful book that we have worked
<v Speaker 4>so hard on and you can find it on coren
<v Speaker 4>prescott dot com store.
<v Speaker 2>And you guys can find me on Instagram and on
<v Speaker 2>X at hollyrandall. Go to hollylinks dot com for access.