NFL First Dates: Mike Evans, A.J. Brown, Cowboys, Steelers and Bills

00:00:04
Speaker 1: Welcome to NFL Daily, where we always love a good first date. I'm Greg Rosenthal in a packed Chris Westling podcast studio.

00:00:13
Speaker 2: My arm just collided. We're so packed.

00:00:18
Speaker 1: Colleen wolf is back, Jordan Rodriguez back, the.

00:00:21
Speaker 2: Gang's all here.

00:00:22
Speaker 1: Look at us now for a big show, the return of NFL First Date.

00:00:26
Speaker 3: Greg, you really have the.

00:00:27
Speaker 4: High beats on right now that the charisma, the charisma flips on, man, it is it's big.

00:00:34
Speaker 3: Good for you.

00:00:35
Speaker 1: We have a little bit of news and yes we're we're play acting today out a few different scenarios.

00:00:41
Speaker 2: We have some long scripts in front of us where we.

00:00:43
Speaker 1: Imagined, we imagine are the first time maybe some of the new alliances that are around the NFL jump in together.

00:00:54
Speaker 2: And a little bit of news. Welcome back, Colleen.

00:00:55
Speaker 5: Hey, great to be here.

00:00:58
Speaker 6: Didn't have time to put makeup on, so we are going this my natural state, m everybody and Patrick pointed out that I am slowly morphing into an Eastern European.

00:01:10
Speaker 5: Type of set wear. I love a matching set.

00:01:15
Speaker 6: And then I pulled out these glasses to just like you know, finish the look.

00:01:19
Speaker 7: Get the gold chains like we're gonna we're gonna buy some merch from Colleen, which I appreciate.

00:01:25
Speaker 5: A giant watch, a giant watch I want.

00:01:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish.

00:01:29
Speaker 1: I wish the audience could see the matching sweatpants right now, I know from Colleen. Yeah, I'm I'm sons makeup to today. So we're all just oh not trout. It's gonna show up a lot more on me. Let's do some news very quickly before we get to our big segment. Levante David retired since we last taped a news like show. Uh And I like that we can lead a show with Levante David at this time of year, because this man deserves it. One of the most underrated linebackers, one of the best defining linebackers his generation. This is him at his press conference announcing that he's hanging them out.

00:02:04
Speaker 8: My fourteen year career has come to an end, and I feel it's time to I you know, move on and you know, find a different path in life. Mainly being a dad to that amazing lit girl over there changed my life so much. You know, people always talk about, like, man, you need to have a daughter.

00:02:29
Speaker 1: You daughter.

00:02:31
Speaker 8: You never understand, like why you want me to have a daughter so bad? And I'm like everybody, you know, being a masculine man, you want to have a son, like I want a son, So he could, you know, follow my footsteps and do you know if I can help him become a man.

00:02:43
Speaker 2: But I knew having a girl helped me become a man.

00:02:49
Speaker 6: Okay, well, I'm all crying. I feel like cries are almost like yawns. It's really contagious. One person is crying that I just automatically get it. It's so hard not to. But it's just the two times that we hear players of his caliber cry are when they retire and when they go into the Hall of Fame, And we're so used to seeing the other side of these players and never the softer side, and so when we do hear it, it's almost like, oh my god, it just is like so humanizing. And I love him and what a great player he was. And I remember when I guess it was maybe around Super Bowl week and we were talking about different teams and I can't remember who I was on the show with. It might have been Steve Smith Senior and Michael Robinson or MJD. And I lightly casually mentioned something about Levante David maybe playing his final game and everyone was like WHOA. It was like, how dare you say something like that? And yeah, I just felt like he was giving those vibes late in the season, like this could be it.

00:03:59
Speaker 1: I like that you mentioned the Hall of Fame because I do think he's a guy that we're gonna have to start making the case for him early, and I'm gonna do it. The only player in NFL history to rank top thirty all time and tackles, tackles for loss, and force fumbles, the only player, if you know, we can cut up the stats in different ways, to have recorded fifteen hundred plus tackles, twenty five plus sacks, twenty five plus force fumbles, and ten plus interceptions. And then I really liked from Aaron Schottz had one where since he entered the league, Lavonte David's four hundred and fifteen defeats ranked third all time behind ray Lewis and Junior Seau, and his three hundred and thirty successful stops like on a pass tackle, which they keep track of number one all times since ninety one, and he somehow only made one Pro Bowl.

00:04:43
Speaker 2: Pro Bowls are irrelevant.

00:04:45
Speaker 1: Three all Pro teams though, and I think that shows the writers no more and even PFF. I'll give them some five all PFF teams. And so I'm bringing up all this stuff for when he is up for the Hall of Fame.

00:04:55
Speaker 7: Yeah, and for the voters who like that that one moment. We'll have, you know, next year a chance to talk about five years from then, Travis Kelce going into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. This was Pekee Travis Kelsey who could not be covered by a linebacker in the Super Bowl getting the clamps absolutely put on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and I think it's one of those that was one of those unforgettable things where you also when you were watching that unfold in real time. I also love the surge of this guy's been doing it like this forever and if you are not familiar with his game, you are now on the biggest stage possible. And I absolutely love that because I hate to say this phrase, but like ball knowers, no, like I can't even call this man underrated because he is. The stats absolutely say he's not underrated. And yet when we talk about some of the great players to play this position in history, we had better make damn sure that he is not left out of that conversation.

00:05:46
Speaker 1: An absolutely favorite of Chris Wesseling, and I went and looked at the defensive Rookie of the Year votes back in his rookie year.

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Speaker 2: Luke Keikley was the rookie of the Year that year.

00:05:55
Speaker 1: He's already in the Hall of Fame and Bobby Wagner right behind him. For some reason, the three best linebackers of his generation all got drafted that year. Shout out to the two voters, whoever they were, who voted for Leavonte David back then also getting some votes Casey Hayward Shout out to him.

00:06:12
Speaker 2: Underrated career started with the Packers and Jack.

00:06:15
Speaker 1: Rabbit Jenkins Janoris Jenkins, who was a lot of fun at his peak.

00:06:20
Speaker 2: Naming some guys is something we liked.

00:06:21
Speaker 3: We still have to do that show. I have that full show.

00:06:24
Speaker 2: It's a little we might do it a little bit.

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Speaker 6: What an interesting time for Bucks fans now they have David and Mike Evan like two of the greats.

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Speaker 1: Also, by the way, the only reason he needed to make the Pro Bowls is because the Pro Bowl combines edge players linebackers with football linebackers, so it really doesn't have anything to do with that it's just the pass rushers are all making it.

00:06:43
Speaker 5: A lot of problems with you people.

00:06:45
Speaker 1: We got new backups around the league. John Robinson's backup is Brian Robinson. Presumably the Saints backup quarterback is going to be Zach Wilson unless they keep Spencer Autler, which I hope they do so that be like a battle there. And then Joe Flacco is back with the Cincinnati Bengals, and he's not happy about it. He said, believe me, I wish I was a guy somewhere. I think teams are dumb for not having me be that guy. But it is what it is. I'm not gonna let them or it get me down. What do you think about the fired up Joe Flacco that he didn't get a job and that he was settling.

00:07:25
Speaker 7: I'm glad he's back. I'm glad that this Joe Flacco is back with the people. When people were like, hey, are you gonna teach this Lamar Jackson kid how to be a He's like, no, I'm Joe Flacco. It's not my job to instruct the next generation. I go out there and get buckets. And he's done nothing but get buckets since the new Joe Flacco revolution started, and somebody's gonna need him somewhere and he's gonna make them pay in the same way Kendrick Bourne did with Caryl Shanahan, where it's yesterday's price is not going to be today's price.

00:07:51
Speaker 1: He's forty one years old, though, he says, who knows what these teams were thinking anyway, I think they were just thinking, you're forty one and actually like the success rate now umbers and some of the turnover where they played numbers.

00:08:02
Speaker 2: He didn't really play that.

00:08:03
Speaker 6: No no, no, no, no, no, no slander here on Joe Flacco.

00:08:07
Speaker 5: His longevity in this league is elite. So it turns out Joe Flacco is elite.

00:08:12
Speaker 4: I've loved this very honest version of Joe Flacco too. We've gotten back over the last couple of years. Like I will not forget that clip he had on a podcast I think he I don't forget which other quarterback, Alex Smith maybe he was talking to where he talked about how long it takes him to get out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the farm, and how much of his body hurts here in that entire process.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know maybe some teams listen to that before thinking about.

00:08:37
Speaker 1: They were just going to say it takes them a long while to actually go to the bathroom.

00:08:41
Speaker 2: I was like, they have medication for that show.

00:08:44
Speaker 3: My favorite Joe Flacco quote.

00:08:46
Speaker 4: From the last several years was when he talked about the absolute joy that it is being on the road and going to get a meal by yourself.

00:08:55
Speaker 3: Like, there's no better feeling than that.

00:08:57
Speaker 6: Truly, it's one hundred percent at the best. You get to relax at your highest level.

00:09:02
Speaker 1: I think he said Zach Taylor helped convince him to play, you know, to join the team. He didn't want to wait around because what he loves in life is being around other football players, so he doesn't want to miss any of the offseason in lifting weights.

00:09:14
Speaker 7: I'm glad there's a quarterback in Cincinnati that likes Zach Taylor.

00:09:19
Speaker 2: I do love these quodes.

00:09:20
Speaker 1: I could get all caught up and say why not me and be all bitter about it. Listen, maybe maybe that does motivate me a little bit. I feel like I still have some unfinished business not being one of those guys to go sign somewhere.

00:09:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, it pisses me off a little bit.

00:09:35
Speaker 5: He still got it.

00:09:36
Speaker 1: That was getting very close to the Tom Brady quote of they signed that effing guy over me in Chicago.

00:09:43
Speaker 2: I believe it was talking about Justin Fielder.

00:09:45
Speaker 4: No, it is Derek Carr talking about Derek Carr.

00:09:49
Speaker 2: Derek Carr.

00:09:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I like the b Robinson backfield with the Falcons. Some other nuggets, the Eagle sign Elijah Moore and their swing tackle Fred Johnson. Elijah Moore notably very close friends with AJ Brown, who's going to be coming up in this show, one of his best friends in all of football, and that's interesting. Maybe that helps the situation there the new team trev used to be me and Patrick on Team trev We believed in Trevor Simeon. Now it's the Falcons. They believe in Trevor Simeon. He's on the team. And then, speaking of you know some guys, I noticed a tweet from a great writer over at ESPN Fantasy, Mike Clay, and he does an annual purge of ESPN Fantasy Football player names in the database, and it just kind of saying goodbye to some of these guys, and I thought this would be a great time to name some guys there are great players like Julio and Jimmy Graham on there, but I'm more interested in just getting your thoughts of like Jack McKinnon.

00:10:52
Speaker 7: Patrick. Jack McKinnon a great explosive running back. Especially in fantasy spots where Jack McKinnon randomly scored twenty points, you'd never heard from him the rest of the season.

00:11:02
Speaker 1: Darryl Henderson had a moment where we thought he was gonna be that dude.

00:11:08
Speaker 4: And also famously was picked up out of sand a sand flag football league in Santa Monica a couple of.

00:11:15
Speaker 3: Years ago to basically bridge the injury gap.

00:11:17
Speaker 1: Oh Rams, DeVante Parker, Ryan Tannehill, Kenyan, Drake, Matt Brida.

00:11:25
Speaker 7: Oh he could stay?

00:11:26
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, forty nine ers, let's go.

00:11:28
Speaker 6: Kyle Shanahan, he's probably gonna does he know about this face?

00:11:31
Speaker 1: Claypool, who Ryan Poles once gave up a second round pick for.

00:11:35
Speaker 7: Yeah, that didn't work out, Yeah, Sunset?

00:11:38
Speaker 1: And then Leonard Fournette, whose name was besmirched this week by Emmanuelachu who compared himself to him.

00:11:44
Speaker 7: People still listen to that guy speaking.

00:11:46
Speaker 1: I somehow unfortunately had this thrown into my timeline people retweeting this when we were watching turning Points, they compared their careers, and I was like, didn't Leonard Fournette have one hundred and thirty yards in the freaking Super Bowl? That delivered let David at that Super Bowl? Okay, those were some names. Damien Harris, by the way, the most random player who my son owned a T shirt for.

00:12:13
Speaker 2: He was a big.

00:12:14
Speaker 1: Dhirt, just like one of those kind of fake jersey T shirts.

00:12:18
Speaker 2: It was a Patriots Damien.

00:12:21
Speaker 5: Referenced by it, so past tense? Did he purge the t too?

00:12:27
Speaker 2: Unfortunately? Injuries?

00:12:29
Speaker 1: Great great player, so we don't we don't forget about you and shout out to Mike Clay. I like that annual segment. Speaking of annual segments, first dates, let's get going with Connie, who came strong last year with an escape room concept. I really, uh look that I went back to try to remember what this segment was like. So I did listen to that one in particular, and uh, I think it was pretty telling of what was going to happen with the New York Giants and Brian Davile and everything that went on here. Let's see if this was Oh you can do it as well?

00:13:04
Speaker 6: Yeah, maybe I am clairvoyant who knows. Okay, this is a classy first date at a dimly lit steakhouse in Pittsburgh. So the Steelers they get there early, because of course they do. They've already scouted every single exit, they memorize the menu, and they also flash their six Super Bowl rings to the hostess. They're not here for a first date, guys, They're here to get married and start a family immediately. Whoa, that's all they're thinking about. So Mike McCarthy walks in big Midwest energy, confident, a little winded, holding on to a resume that's laminated.

00:13:45
Speaker 5: Does he have a laminator?

00:13:47
Speaker 6: Steelers start thinking to themselves, Okay, this kind of this feels familiar.

00:13:52
Speaker 5: Why does this feel familiar?

00:13:55
Speaker 6: And then the internal monologue sort of begins before Mike McCarthy even sits down.

00:13:59
Speaker 5: You could just see him weaving through.

00:14:01
Speaker 6: The steakhouse here, and the Steelers think, Okay, well, he's experienced, he's stable, he's won a Super Bowl.

00:14:08
Speaker 5: This is good, this is good. Chill out.

00:14:11
Speaker 6: The Steelers gut is saying, well, this is literally the same.

00:14:15
Speaker 5: Guy we always pick. Great, good job you.

00:14:18
Speaker 6: Okay, so appetizers come, the Steelers, they say, you know, look, we're just really ready to build something sustainable here, and Mike McCarthy says, same, I love building, big builder. And the Steelers, who are already going through their head thinking about baby names and what this potential baby would look like, they asked Micha McCarthy, okay, but like, what's your vision here? And McCarthy says, well, I think it starts with establishing things early.

00:14:52
Speaker 5: That's what you got to do.

00:14:53
Speaker 6: So the Steelers okay, they're sort of feeling a little dead behind the eyes at this point.

00:14:58
Speaker 5: But they are. They're there.

00:14:59
Speaker 6: It's still appetizer time, and they say, yeah, you know, we two love things being established. Okay, what So halfway through the appetizers, the Steelers realize that they did a mic swap.

00:15:10
Speaker 5: Panicked.

00:15:11
Speaker 6: They asked McCarthy what separates you from Mike Tomlin and McCarthy says, well, a lot of things.

00:15:16
Speaker 5: Most of all though my system.

00:15:18
Speaker 6: So the Steelers say, okay, well, we really need clarity at the quarterback position here, and McCarthy leans in and he says, well, a reunion with Aaron Rodgers that'd be a good story. Steelers say, a story or is this a plan? And McCarthy says, well, sometimes the best plans are stories. Guys, bars, Steelers, are you currently waiting on his decision? Do you know anything? At this point, mcarthy says yeah, and so the Steeler says, so we're all waiting too. This is just a big waiting game. Macarthy says, well, I think it just builds anticipation. Steelers are now internally spiraling. We said we want its stability, and we're right back in the most unstable position waiting on a fourty year old quarterback we don't even have yet. Okay, So a TV in the bar plays NFL Network in the background, a Steelers game from last year.

00:16:19
Speaker 5: It's playing.

00:16:20
Speaker 6: It looks like it's a tight two minute drill. The clock it's ticking. Precision is obviously needed. McCarthy is watching calmly. Steelers ask hey, what would you do here? Says probably let it play out. Steelers, Well, the clock is melting at this point, and McCarthy says, time is relevant. It's a social conscience. So the Steelers physically recoil and one of their six rings slightly dims at this point, they're Super Bowl rings that they're wearing.

00:16:52
Speaker 5: One dims.

00:16:54
Speaker 6: So the Steelers, they say to themselves, we always do this. We say we want innovation, and then well for the experienced guy with a laminated cheesecake factory mention it off. But then the day takes a turn or the better. When Mike leans across the table and he whispers.

00:17:15
Speaker 5: I'm keeping the three four defense. I'm letting DJ want line up wherever he wants.

00:17:22
Speaker 6: Art Rooney finally cracks a smile somewhere.

00:17:27
Speaker 5: So the Steelers saying, okay, well, when can you start?

00:17:30
Speaker 6: Like obviously they are spiraling a little bit inside, but they say, we want to just make sure this is right, and McCarthy says, I get it, but sometimes you just got to commit, you know. And the Steelers say, you know, even if it's not perfect. But McCarthy's like, yeah, especially then if it's not perfect. This is what you do, Steelers, Why does that sound like every mistake we've ever made in the past. Though, dessert comes Steelers, We probably shouldn't like rush in to.

00:18:00
Speaker 5: Anything, but like, what are you doing on Sunday? Arthy says, I'm wide open. Steelers say, great, let's do this again. However, there's more.

00:18:11
Speaker 6: There's a group chat that's going on with the text messages this.

00:18:14
Speaker 5: Is post date.

00:18:15
Speaker 6: The Steelers begin texting themselves, Wow, he's not exactly what we said we wanted, you know, but but he is safe.

00:18:24
Speaker 5: But he is I don't know, why are we like this? Should we just get married and figured it out later?

00:18:30
Speaker 6: Macarthy says with his follow up text, had a great time. I think we managed the clock pretty well. The Steelers stare at the phone. They know, they know, and yet they text back, had a great time to siley face.

00:18:49
Speaker 5: So I know it's bleak. It's over now. It's over now.

00:19:00
Speaker 1: And you know, to Colleen, bagging on the Giants is actually bagging on her in state rival, the.

00:19:05
Speaker 2: Pittsburgh it's not.

00:19:07
Speaker 5: And I love the Steelers. By the way, let me just say that I know the draft's coming up. We're gonna be up there in Pittsburgh. Oh yeah, that's the best idea.

00:19:17
Speaker 2: I do love.

00:19:18
Speaker 1: I do love a vaguely ambiguous ending where both both sides are just like trying to convince themselves into something.

00:19:24
Speaker 4: And that the audience knows a smiley face too. It's more like a yeah, pain, a little bit of a pain, but they want to get married.

00:19:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, the figure it out there it's one track.

00:19:35
Speaker 5: Mind out it out later.

00:19:37
Speaker 7: They can fix him.

00:19:38
Speaker 2: I do, I do, they do.

00:19:40
Speaker 1: Like Mike McCarthy, it's just like the I don't know the guy, the guy you settle for, the guy you know is going to be your second husband, and you're going to get to three.

00:19:48
Speaker 3: All right, let's take friend zone for years.

00:19:50
Speaker 6: Oh no, Now I feel so guilty and awful about this.

00:19:54
Speaker 5: I don't mean it, Mike.

00:19:55
Speaker 7: Yeah, I was only picturing the weird AI version of Mike McCarthy's Pompeo sera tweeter for the reason, and not the actual micropigon.

00:20:03
Speaker 2: Let's take a quick break. We're gonna come back and then.

00:20:06
Speaker 1: Really to the space with a lot of NFL first dates, going to.

00:20:11
Speaker 4: Patrick next the Shade.

00:20:14
Speaker 3: Sorry, we wrote long scripts.

00:20:16
Speaker 2: Greg, that wasn't the thing I'm talking about.

00:20:28
Speaker 7: Back on NFL Daily, we are continuing our first dates. It is my turn, and this is a date that I envisioned. It's called Meet the Parent. Playing the role of the narrator will be myself playing the role of Cowboys Executive Vice President of Player Personnel Stephen Jones is Greg Rosenthal playing the role of Rashaan Gary is Jordan Rod reed and playing the role of the owner and president of the Dallas Cowboys is Philadelphia Eagles fan Colleen Wolf as Jerry Jones.

00:21:00
Speaker 3: She's already getting into the seat posif higher. She's bellied up to the desk.

00:21:05
Speaker 7: It's incredible, let's begin, Rashan. Gary is able to meet the new family in Dallas. We see Rashan walking into a bejeweled and bedazzled office, sitting at the head of the table facing backwards as the new boss, Jerry Jones, gazing aloft at three Lombardi trophies.

00:21:22
Speaker 6: When I look back on my life, I overpaid for my big successes.

00:21:27
Speaker 7: Every time Joanes spins in his chair to face Gary, Rashan wonders to himself how he knew that he'd entered the room.

00:21:37
Speaker 6: And when I tried to get a bargain, get it a little cheaper, or get a better deal on it ended up usually either getting it and not happy I got it, or missing it.

00:21:47
Speaker 7: Gary looked around, confused. Was he the thing that was overpaid for?

00:21:52
Speaker 4: Uh?

00:21:52
Speaker 3: Thank you.

00:21:53
Speaker 4: I'm glad to be here in Dallas. I'm hoping our match is a fruitful one. Your defense has needed some hell and I want to provide it. Attacking with the intensity of a wild animal.

00:22:04
Speaker 7: Jerry Jones stood pensively, gripping his fingers around the tusk of a razorback.

00:22:08
Speaker 6: My father had over five thousand wild animals, and no matter what, he'd hand someone a card and say, make sure you come see the monkeys.

00:22:18
Speaker 7: Jerry was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the room on a Segway scooter. It was Stephen Jones.

00:22:25
Speaker 2: Oh you found him, Rashan.

00:22:27
Speaker 1: I just want to say, we're really looking forward to seeing what you can accomplish with us. We've needed production on the defensive.

00:22:32
Speaker 7: Jerry Jones abruptly rises, eyes turning an electric blue. He radiates aur levitating above the floor. His voice booms, stats are for losers. They're relish in them. Dad, I'm only trying to say we've been on the hunt for a talent like Jones interrupts again. The floor of the room starts to illuminate, as if being charged with pure energy.

00:22:52
Speaker 6: I enjoy being with my family and hunting and with my children.

00:22:57
Speaker 7: The scene shifts. What was once the bedazzled and pot oaken confines of the office become the dinged tones of the American West.

00:23:04
Speaker 3: How did we.

00:23:06
Speaker 6: They didn't even have to put any fuel in the plane.

00:23:10
Speaker 5: I flew up here all own.

00:23:12
Speaker 1: My father's been doing this for a few years, acquiring mystical offensive powers to hunt down fearful prey, using them as weaponry to take down giants as well as commanders. There's one thing he's been able to stop.

00:23:24
Speaker 3: Though, uh human resources.

00:23:27
Speaker 6: I give credit to the Eagles for being better at doing it than anybody else.

00:23:33
Speaker 3: He's transcended humanity in an.

00:23:36
Speaker 4: Effort to defeat the Philadelphia Eagles.

00:23:39
Speaker 1: Nah, he can't do that due to his most fearful opponent, organized labors in our world, restrained by the collective bargaining Agreement in the NFL's bylaws.

00:23:48
Speaker 6: If you look at the teams that want to share more revenues, they're teams that don't have a lot on the table. They've long since not had any serious investment in their tea.

00:24:01
Speaker 4: If I'm to understand correctly, you use this power to create a world of beasts resembling NFL franchise mascots in order to dominate them.

00:24:14
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right.

00:24:15
Speaker 7: Jerry Jones streaks through the sky like a beam of light, headed straight for a lumbering giant there's something new about this giant, new but familiar. Jones overwhelms it with offensive firepower.

00:24:27
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I'm here.

00:24:30
Speaker 4: I rushed the passer. I was the top recruit in the nation coming out of high school. I'm a Michigan Man, which is a thing for some reason, I feel compelled to say, despite there being little question regarding my gender identity.

00:24:43
Speaker 7: Jerry Jones admires the machinery of the second Beast, the Commander. It's massive wheels rolling powered by the still new engine that not too long ago dominated the lands of the play offs.

00:24:55
Speaker 6: You'll look up there and see an army tank coming at you. You see it all on a TV. It's one thing, you see it out a movie theater. It's something else when not thing's coming at you at seventy feet high and one hundred and eighty feet long. Now that looks like a tank.

00:25:11
Speaker 3: He's not gonna.

00:25:12
Speaker 7: Jones begins to vibrate at a resonance that causes Gary to question whether or not he's breathing. Is this air where am I? Suddenly the massive machine evaporates into green light. It's gone.

00:25:24
Speaker 2: Rashan there's something we need you to do.

00:25:27
Speaker 3: What's that?

00:25:28
Speaker 7: The mystical eagle saw it high above their heads. It was wounded. It had clearly been nicked somewhere over the stout Land, and despite all the creature successes, you could clearly see it was starting to hurts.

00:25:41
Speaker 1: Even when it's weak, something goes wrong. Raehan, You're joining us from a place that does things differently, an institution owned by a community operating with the hive mind. We need that, Rashon, We.

00:25:51
Speaker 3: Need you, But that won't do you any good here.

00:25:54
Speaker 2: Are you sure about that?

00:25:55
Speaker 7: Jones sparked off. As the sky itself seemed to fracture. The eagle swored its way through the breaks within reality itself, shoving its way inch by inch into Jones's power.

00:26:06
Speaker 6: I lost my tolerance for a lot of things I probably should have tolerated.

00:26:11
Speaker 7: And with that, in a flash, Gary was back at the facility the Star in Frisco, Texas. He knew this whole thing had become about one man. How could he make it about a team, a city, a community.

00:26:23
Speaker 4: If I'm gonna do this, I need to tap into this energy, energy that only Jerry Jones is in control of. Wow.

00:26:32
Speaker 7: I would like to thank my performers, and I would like to announce that all of the things said by Colin Wolf were things that Jerry Jones has actually said.

00:26:40
Speaker 2: Wow, that's my favorite one.

00:26:45
Speaker 5: Holy whoa play on. You out done yourself again.

00:26:52
Speaker 7: Thanks guys.

00:26:53
Speaker 2: That was incredible And it was like.

00:26:58
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of, like there's a certain type of like poem where you have to there's like a different sorts of structure, Like sonnets have different sorts of structure, Like you set up a structure box that you had to fill with actual.

00:27:09
Speaker 2: Jerry Jones quotes, and it's amazing the quotes.

00:27:12
Speaker 7: The quotes were my god.

00:27:14
Speaker 5: My father had over five. Yeah, that was an interesting one.

00:27:18
Speaker 3: That's when I caught on because I remember that quote.

00:27:20
Speaker 7: It was it was no question about Dez Bryant's monkey. Yeah, and somehow the Joneses had a zoo.

00:27:28
Speaker 1: I was trying to think by the way of the term a corona. Do you guys know what a corona is? It's like a special a type of sonnet.

00:27:37
Speaker 7: Come on, they have a commercial with the palm tree and Christmas Life.

00:27:41
Speaker 1: You write for losers, you write fifteen sonnets in the first you write fifteen sonnets in the fifteenth has to be comprised exactly with the first line of the fourteen previous sonnets.

00:27:54
Speaker 5: Okay, Shakespeare, all right, seems.

00:27:57
Speaker 1: Like like why would you do that?

00:28:00
Speaker 2: Now I've got a big preg like who would do that? All right, let's uh, let's go. I'll go. We really, I think we're all on mushrooms. When we did that, we all went.

00:28:12
Speaker 1: Big and a little each other to be back. All right, This one's just more of a narrated one.

00:28:19
Speaker 2: All right, Here we go.

00:28:22
Speaker 1: As night falls in the desolate corporate park that is Santa Clara, a single Weymo makes its way toward the forty nine ers facility. Outside the car of rumbling, low droning sound begins to get louder and louder. Unsure of protocol, the passenger, Mike Evans, asked the driverless car, what is that sound? There is no response but the track the gentle hum of Anxiety from the Oscar nominated original score to the twenty ten film The Social Network, as written by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, begins to play even louder in the Weimo before Evans feels so claustrophobe. He jumps out of the still moving vehicle. Evans finds himself in the forty nine Ers player parking lot, where John Lynch is waiting for him.

00:29:08
Speaker 2: Mike, hope you enjoyed that Resnor bomb.

00:29:10
Speaker 1: We play it for every new forty nine er on their way in as a nod to our deep Bay area culture. Evans surveys the surroundings without the music from the car. The surroundings inn gets louder than ever. There is a growing light, a glowing light emanating from near the practice field. Evans sees a solitary wrapper for a Tuscan Italian Jimmy John sandwich floating in the breeze. Is that a sound always there?

00:29:37
Speaker 2: Evans asked. Lynch's dead eyes stare at Evans. Let me show you around.

00:29:44
Speaker 1: Evans enters the facility and sees a world class weight room, a cafeteria and begins to relax.

00:29:50
Speaker 2: Ah, what's that over there?

00:29:51
Speaker 1: As he points to appear at a storage closet inside a man that looks exactly like Adam Schefter, but with thinning hair types furiously, Oh, that's our NFL insider clone. We use it whenever we want to get out our forty nine Ers message. We like to have at least one prolonged, unnecessary contract dispute every year in order to feel alive. So is that Trent williams now or is that Ayuk again this year?

00:30:20
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:30:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's still on the roster, isn't he No, we're just holding on to him out of pure spite. In that room, as Evans points to what appears to be a room for employees' children with Tiddley winks and endless copies of the classic dog Man series, that's Bosa's playpen Lynch response. Now, Mike, we did want to say thanks again for taking such a below market deal to come chase the title. Here with the forty nine ers, we plan to make it up to you in creative ways. We haven't been punished by the NFL for salary cap violations since two thy and twenty two, and that wasn't anything compared to the picks and the money we lost back in the late nineties, or when the NFL made our owner sell the team for felony charges involving a gambling boat fraud scandal and the Governor of Louisiana look it up. As Evans makes his way back to the building's lobby, the background hum was louder than ever. He ran his hands through his hair and noticed a clump falling out. What ah that, Lynch said, happens a lot around here. Don't worry about it, just take these. Removing a bottle of Neutrifil men's hair restoration grooming products out of his pocket, Evans took a swig of the water and the pills. As he swallowed, he notices dishes on every desk of the office overflowing with Neutrifil pills, with many employees popping them into their mouths like M and m's. Don't they need to wash it down with something? Not if they want to be champions. Lynch says, now, let's get you back in that way, moping Evans on the back and leaving a bruise. As Evans approaches the car, the nearby hum grows unbearable. He suddenly feels a twinge in his calf muscle. His ankle is sore. He rethinks everything about his free agency process and takes out his phone to call his wife. As the number rings, a warm sensation takes over his entire body. His hair follicles are starting to tingle, the pills are kicking in. Mike his wife answers, is everything all right? Yeah, honey, I think you're gonna love it here?

00:32:42
Speaker 5: That was so dark.

00:32:46
Speaker 2: Thank you for our executive producer, Eric Roberts for the.

00:32:50
Speaker 3: German sound design, sound and the sound the Atticus Ross.

00:32:58
Speaker 7: Nobody was safe, nobody, everybody could get it.

00:33:01
Speaker 4: The neutrifold pill, the bruise, just the backslap leaving the bruise. We cat what you did there, We got what you did there.

00:33:07
Speaker 7: It was It was special work. I saw Greg Grindon when it was finishing it up and I was like, this is going to be some.

00:33:13
Speaker 2: Heat started starting and finishing it up. As people were coming over to say hi, I'm like, I.

00:33:18
Speaker 7: Need to get this done.

00:33:20
Speaker 3: He's an artist at work.

00:33:21
Speaker 6: We're about to start show Crush NFL inside her clone is awesome.

00:33:27
Speaker 5: That's so good.

00:33:28
Speaker 7: They just keeping it there.

00:33:30
Speaker 1: I mostly just imagine the secretaries all with the nutrifold pills falling out of their mouths as they're trying to chew. Jordan's sorry for uh everything.

00:33:40
Speaker 9: Wow, that was great, thank you, incredible, Oh my gosh, okay, so mine is going to be read in the style of a mom trying to set up a date for her son who still lives at home, but the vibes have gotten bad.

00:33:58
Speaker 4: M oh no, I am the narrator. Patrick is Rose the mother aka Howie Roseman. Colleen is both Kelly and Maddie, who are the Bills and the Rams. Greg is aj Aj Brown, and May who represents the Patriots and is a female twenty twenty six Greg. Just just for the listeners, I've given you notes.

00:34:31
Speaker 3: So okay, does everyone clear on their parts?

00:34:35
Speaker 7: Yes?

00:34:36
Speaker 3: Okay, Colleen just ripped.

00:34:37
Speaker 5: The fo I'm like okay.

00:34:38
Speaker 6: Kelly is the Bills and Maddie is the Rams, right great.

00:34:45
Speaker 4: A mother in her late fifties, Rose is about to leave her house to walk to the local farmers market one sunny Saturday morning in Philadelphia. Before she leaves, she stops by her son AJ's room. He's thirty years old and back living in his childhood. Rose has had it right now. He's blasting in the end by Lincoln Park. She knocks. The music just gets louder. I tried so hard and got so far, and in the end it doesn't even matter.

00:35:11
Speaker 7: Hey day, aj Son, if you can hear me, turn it down.

00:35:16
Speaker 4: The music stops. She hears a groan come. She opens the door behind him. Rose can see that the room is a mess. Books are everywhere and sign jerseys. A suitcase he always seems to have halfway packed lies open behind him.

00:35:33
Speaker 7: Honey, I'm going to the farmer's market. Do you want to come? Those lovely young ladies are always there looking to meet someone. I'm sure of it. I think it would be good to get you out of the house.

00:35:42
Speaker 3: Aj shuts the door as he does. Rose mutters to herself.

00:35:45
Speaker 7: Out of my house for good. I gotta get Aj a change singer. I gotta find him a girl and move him. Oh way, I just know it would be good for him. A mother knows what her son needs.

00:35:55
Speaker 4: Rose walks down the street to the market, grabs a couple of tomatoes and a cluster of carrots to make it look like she's casually shopping, but really, she scans the lively mid morning crowd, just as she thought. Some of the neighborhood's eligible ladies are there shopping and mingling too. She's known their families for years and thinks any of them would be a good match for Aj. She sees one woman in a blue and red puffer vest. Cute split from her group and walk toward the coffee cart to the wide right of the other kiosks. Seeing her opportunity, Rose Bee lines toward her.

00:36:27
Speaker 5: Kelly, Kelly, ha oh hey, Rose, how are you? How's AJ doing? Is he still at home?

00:36:33
Speaker 7: Yes? And how amazing that you ask? You know he's working out every day. Have you seen him out all his runs? He looks amazing, Kelly, you should see him. I swear he ages in reverse, couldn't we all?

00:36:44
Speaker 2: Oh? Y'all?

00:36:46
Speaker 5: Ros Yeah, I've seen him out running.

00:36:48
Speaker 6: He still looks good. Is he single? Any women would be lucky? And woman would be lucky he is?

00:36:54
Speaker 7: Can you believe it? And still in my house?

00:36:57
Speaker 3: It's amazing.

00:36:58
Speaker 7: You should take him out. I always thought you too. You get together and who knows, the timing might finally be right. You're crazy kids if I have, you're on each other for years. I know it.

00:37:07
Speaker 6: Oh oh, Rose, that's really cool of you to think of me. But I actually just started seeing someone and it's already kind of serious, like he might be the one.

00:37:17
Speaker 5: His name is DJ.

00:37:19
Speaker 6: We really found each other, you know, kind of crazy right out of his last relationship too, But this just feels right like what I've needed.

00:37:29
Speaker 7: I mean, good luck with that, I guess, Kelly, I hope you don't regret not hanging on a little longer for my age.

00:37:35
Speaker 4: She turns away and b lines for another young woman, this one standing in line for some hot chowder.

00:37:41
Speaker 7: May May, how are you?

00:37:43
Speaker 4: The woman May turns when hearing her name, then greets the mom warmly with a hug.

00:37:48
Speaker 1: Hi, Rose, how are you nice to see you out? And about AJ still at home?

00:37:52
Speaker 7: I'm glad you asked. He is and he is the thriving, best shape of his life, and a joy to have in my house. Shoot, I'd love to have him there my whole life if I could. But I can't help but think. Never mind, May Oh, what.

00:38:07
Speaker 2: Is it you say? He's in great shank, great.

00:38:09
Speaker 7: Shape and happy. I mean, I should not be saying this, but Kelly over there was asking about him. I can't believe she would ask me about him before you did. Mate, You two girls were always competitive.

00:38:20
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't even know that AJ was still at home? But is he available? Maybe he'd be open to hanging out sometime.

00:38:28
Speaker 7: I don't know. Maybe I'll have to see if Kelly wanted to hang out with him, She asked me first, you know, but he's definitely single. I always thought you two would look great together.

00:38:37
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, well, hey, check in with me before you go back home. I'd love to see if maybe you can tell Aj you ran into me.

00:38:45
Speaker 4: Rose nods and smiles, knowingly, making sure that May is an earshot. As she turns away, she exclaims, oh, is that Maddie toward a woman standing at a fruit stand. May watches her hustle over to the woman, and, unbeknownst Kelly clockson to observe all three.

00:39:03
Speaker 6: Hey, Rose, how are you? I haven't seen you in years since I first went out to La. How's Aj still at home?

00:39:10
Speaker 7: Oh, Maddie, you look amazing. The California son agrees with you. And I'm always telling Aj, yes, he's at home and doing great, but he's never been in better shape. And what a joyful young man. Anyway, I'm always telling AJ how much he'd love to be in that sunshine. A mother knows. So are you seeing anyone?

00:39:29
Speaker 5: Oh?

00:39:30
Speaker 6: I mean, yes, I know it's La. I'm on and off with a few people at any given time.

00:39:36
Speaker 5: Nothing serious.

00:39:37
Speaker 6: I mean historically, I've always targeted one guy. Now, I guess you could say I'm open to switching things up.

00:39:45
Speaker 7: Well well, well, well what a modern approach. Well, if you're ready to settle down, let me show you what my AJ looks right now. The last time you saw him you were just kids.

00:39:54
Speaker 5: You gotta see him, and he's in great shape, you said.

00:39:58
Speaker 4: As Rose rifles through her to get her phone to show Maddie a picture of AJ. Kelly and May both walk over. They've been talking animatedly to the side since Rose struck up the conversation with Maddie.

00:40:11
Speaker 1: Rose, Kelly told me you approached her China set her up with AJ right before you approach me to do the same thing.

00:40:16
Speaker 2: Is that true?

00:40:17
Speaker 7: Oh well not exactly. I mean, what does it matter Kelly's seeing someone?

00:40:22
Speaker 8: Now?

00:40:22
Speaker 6: Wait, why would you come up to me about AJ if you were already trying to set him up with Kelly and May?

00:40:28
Speaker 7: Ladies?

00:40:29
Speaker 4: I mean, she stammers, but finally sighs deeply and puts her phone back into her bag.

00:40:37
Speaker 7: Can someone just get this guy out of my house?

00:40:42
Speaker 3: The ladies. The ladies all walk away from her.

00:40:45
Speaker 4: As they depart, May looks back over her shoulder and calls to rose So you.

00:40:52
Speaker 2: Said he's in really good shape.

00:40:56
Speaker 6: And scene that was Greg being thirsty, which was one of my favorite notes I.

00:41:03
Speaker 3: Gave Craig notes thirsty, thirsty or thanks guys, Patrick, well you, Oscar goes to.

00:41:12
Speaker 7: Well, you didn't specifically note that that the mom would sound like she was from Vestavia, Alabama, but the way she was meddling in her son's.

00:41:20
Speaker 3: She you know what.

00:41:22
Speaker 4: I appreciate you seeing the script and really bringing the character to life in such a profound way.

00:41:28
Speaker 2: I just imagine the whole time.

00:41:30
Speaker 1: Howie Roseman dressed like Big Mama style problematically for the entire skit, and the voice was perfect for that.

00:41:38
Speaker 2: We got the editor's note imagination.

00:41:41
Speaker 7: Hollie Roseman was at no point in black. First, there's no grudon involved in this show.

00:41:51
Speaker 1: We have a special closer here, Eric Roberts. You know, he had a bunch of ideas. This was his baby as an ex a producer a year ago. Had some great ideas we use then I'm.

00:42:04
Speaker 10: Upsetting nobody today a Milik Willist, Von eh Chan and Jalen Model and Wattle standing them up at a Miami night club.

00:42:10
Speaker 1: That was fun, but when I when I saw the Bills one which felt like it was from a very deep place. I'm like, Eric, you gotta you gotta just do this yourself. As much as you don't like being on the microphone, you're the man.

00:42:22
Speaker 2: Let's do this, all right, guys. So I'm gonna introduce.

00:42:24
Speaker 10: I will be the narrator, and to start, there'll be a couple of the characters coming in and out that will be explained throughout the dialogue. But to start, Greg, you are Josh Allen, Patrick, you are Khalil Shakir.

00:42:36
Speaker 2: All right, here we go.

00:42:40
Speaker 10: Josh Allen, DJ Moore, and the rest of the Bill's new Wide Receiver Room gather outside of the soon to be open New high Mark Stadium, where a FanFest is being held to celebrate the new arena and approaching season. Josh Allen gathers his wide receivers and hands out name tags to Tyrrel Shavers, Jalen Virgil, Josh Palmer, and so on.

00:42:59
Speaker 1: Hi, No guy, it's weird, but this will clear it up for people. They'll realize you're actually who I throw the ball to. We don't want any of you guys getting kicked out like the last fan event we went to because people are confused.

00:43:11
Speaker 7: DJ, We're so pumped to have you. You're gonna love buff.

00:43:14
Speaker 10: Shakira is interrupted by a beanbag thrown by Josh from a nearby cornhole game toward More.

00:43:18
Speaker 2: More grabs it out of the air, just checking, like Kyle.

00:43:21
Speaker 7: Was saying, it's great here in Buffalo. We've got this new stadium being built. Did you see the size of those bison out front? Some of the most passionate fans, And of course.

00:43:30
Speaker 10: Shakira is again interrupted. This time Josh throw is a toy ball from a nearby stand that grazes off Moore's hands and nearly hits the floor, but More secures the ball before it touches the floor, just making sure.

00:43:41
Speaker 7: And of course Josh Allen throwing you the ball.

00:43:44
Speaker 10: That was a catch, shouts Terry Pugula from a stage on the other side of the festival.

00:43:49
Speaker 5: That was a cat.

00:43:51
Speaker 10: Josh Allen and his group of wide receivers watch fans partake in winging in competitions, put each other through tables, and even use a virtual reality booth where fans can live out a life where Scott Norward didn't kick it wide right. That miracle in Tennessee was called a forward pass. The Bills defense stopped Patrick Mahomes and company with only thirteen seconds left or a twenty twenty six Joe Brady led Buffalo Bill's team wins the super Hey guys, wait for me. A muffled voice makes its way through the crowd.

00:44:20
Speaker 5: Hold up, wait for me, guys, hold on, I'm coming through.

00:44:22
Speaker 10: Josh turns around to see a familiar face making his way toward the group.

00:44:26
Speaker 1: Kean, you're late again, and see.

00:44:30
Speaker 5: I'm taking a snaby. Personally, it's not a shot at me.

00:44:35
Speaker 2: It did kind of come together perfectly. I was like it was late.

00:44:38
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, really connected, perfect perfect.

00:44:44
Speaker 5: Oh god, my gosh.

00:44:48
Speaker 1: I like that Eric got to live out his fantasies of all the alternate realities that didn't happen, and we got to live out our fantasies as screenwriters here. Yeah, actors, I mean you're you're still living it out as a boys actor people.

00:45:04
Speaker 2: Patrick Claybn's available.

00:45:06
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, that's the problem.

00:45:08
Speaker 4: I think we really showed some range here with Patrick. Yes, today, we all assigned in parts. We knew you would just take it and have so much fun with it.

00:45:19
Speaker 5: Oh my God, I love a table read. Oh that was perfect.

00:45:24
Speaker 1: I am already brainstorming and thinking about twenty twenty seven first date.

00:45:30
Speaker 2: Who's going to be on that?

00:45:31
Speaker 1: M give me interesting, give me give me a twenty twenty seven and I'm putting you guys on the side.

00:45:35
Speaker 6: I'll tell you how I would really like. I know where I want to go, all of us. I want to do a walk through a botanical garden. That's that's on the list.

00:45:43
Speaker 7: My dreamcast to participate in the table read would include Adam Schefter, John Lynch, and Jerry Jones.

00:45:50
Speaker 2: This wasn't This wasn't Adam Schefter. This was a clone.

00:45:54
Speaker 1: A clone, yes that they've created Maybe a darn Schefter.

00:45:59
Speaker 5: Stats are for.

00:46:01
Speaker 1: Great show, guys. I love doing these shows with you. Let's hit the music. We are not done this week. This was an awesome show, but we are going to be back in the studio for our final show of the week. Jordan will be there, Patrick will be there, and Colleen will be somewhere wearing a matching leisure suit.

00:46:21
Speaker 5: That's right ever bought it.

00:46:23
Speaker 2: We'll see you there.