Spectatoring: It's hard to feel pleasure with all that pressure | Szn. 1 Ep. 2
Dr. Jenn describes and discusses the killjoy habit of spectatoring--the tendency to judge ourselves during sex. The audience (of your mind) has become unruly. They are critical and unforgiving. They notice anything and everything you are doing wrong. Their insults or doubt might include comments about how you look, how you smell or taste, how fast or slow you are moving, where and how you are touching your partner, and the list goes on. The peanut gallery are tough to please and you entertaining their criticism or trying to explain yourself only leads to more distraction… and likely an even less connected sexual experience.
We call this phenomena spectatoring. It’s the idea of focusing on oneself from a third person perspective. We all do it to some degree, however the voices can get very loud and very discouraging during sexual play. You might notice yourself feeling anxious, awkward, impatient, self-critical and disconnected from your partner or your own pleasure.
In this episode, Dr. Jenn normalizes this tendency and also gives suggestions on how to disarm the army of you mind. Read the full article and/or sign up for the Pleasure Project Newsletter.
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