188 | Understanding Child Adjustment Through Play: Lessons from The Art of the Relationship and Moustakas' Research

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode.

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I am reading another section from one of the seminal works in

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our field from the Art of the Relationship by Garry Landreth.

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But before we get into that, I want to share a very,

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very special email that I received and I know that

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every week I get emails from all over the world and listeners reach

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out and I hear stories and wins and celebrations and I get questions and

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it dawns on me every once in a while that some of those

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should be shared with you because you all only know your experience.

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And I get the privilege of having people from everywhere,

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share with me their experiences.

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So

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I want to share an experience that was emailed to me this week by Jonathan

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and he tells me

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that he listens to me every day.

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So he feels like he knows me really well, which so many of you say that,

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which is so special to me.

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That's why I love podcasting.

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I feel like I know you all as well. And I truly mean that.

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So he says I wanted to share a funny story.

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My son and I ride bikes every week when he comes to my house.

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And as we were riding to our favorite donut shop,

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I heard him giving his stuffed animal cat choices.

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He gave the cat the choice to ride on the front of the bike or

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gave the cat the choice to ride under his arm as he rode his bike,

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I laughed out loud as I heard him giving the cat choices because

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the idea of choices has become such a staple in his life.

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So Jonathan, thank you for emailing me that. First of all.

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Second of all, that is one of what I consider to be the greatest testaments

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to the power of the child-centered

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language

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because children become so accustomed to the predictability

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and the consistency and the verbiage

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that they adopted as their own.

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So kids will use choices and kids will reflect feelings

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and kids will use encouragement phrases

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and it becomes very apparent

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that their little sponge selves have soaked in all the things that we say.

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And this happens with our children and with children in the playroom.

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When we are consistent using child-centered language,

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it becomes a very staple

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in the child's life.

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And that just makes my heart smile and I'm so glad that you emailed me that Jonathan,

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that Jonathan, thank you.

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If you all have stories like that, I'd love to hear from you as well.

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So you can always reach me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

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I was actually speaking with a

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coaching participant a couple of weeks ago

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and she told me that she had emailed me and I was like,

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I don't think I've gotten anything from you.

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And I said, just confirm that you have my email address, right? And she goes,

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I listened to your podcast,

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I know your email address by heart because you always say it.

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And I was like, oh, ok,

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I suppose you have heard that like 1000 times at this point. So

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anyway,

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you know, brenna@thekidcounselor.com,

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but for those of you who are new that maybe have not listened to every episode,

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you can always email me.

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I'd love to hear from you.

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That's Brenna with two Ns at brenna@thekidcounselor.com

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Ok. So let's dive into this text today.

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And I, again, I'm reading from the Art of the Relationship.

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I'm in the chapter, The Meaning of Play.

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And I'm reading on page 23 and 24.

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And we're going to actually, I think get some really, really helpful insight.

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This is not something that is discussed often,

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this is not something that I've actually found in other CCPT texts.

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I feel like this might actually be unique to this book

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and it is talking about

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Moustakas research, which we always

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reference Moustakas

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when we talk about the history of child-centered play therapy. So, Moustakas

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is a prominent figure in the child-centered history,

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but I don't know that this research is quoted

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very often and the findings of this research.

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So

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I'm going to read the difference in play

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of more adjusted versus more maladjusted children.

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And I think this will be really insightful and helpful for everyone. So

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I'm starting on page 23.

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The play of adjusted and maladjusted children as described by Moustakas

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differs in several areas.

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Adjusted children are conversational

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and prone to discuss their world as it exists for them.

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Whereas some maladjusted children may remain completely

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silent in their first few play sessions.

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Speaking only with great difficulty to the therapist.

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Other maladjusted children

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may keep up a rapid fire flow of

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questions and conversations during the first sessions.

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The initial reactions of maladjusted children are cautious and deliberate

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adjusted children are free and spontaneous in their play.

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All right. So there's more, but I wanna pause there and tease this part a little bit.

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Ok.

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So I know that every single one of you that has

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been doing child centered play therapy for any length of time.

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I know you immediately thought of kids that have come in

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and barely said a word to you

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and you've thought of kids that have come in and have just been blabbermouths.

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Ok. We know, based on Moustakas

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research

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that that indicates high levels of maladjustment,

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more adjusted children as it says,

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are quote conversational and prone to discuss their world as it exists for them.

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So when you have a child that comes in and is conversational

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and talkative and engages with you as part of their play,

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you know, that indicates higher levels of adjustment.

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And then in contrast, if you have very, very silent kids or very very talkative kids,

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and they're just kind of spit

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fring things out,

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you know, that that indicates maladjustment.

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The initial reactions of maladjusted children are cautious and deliberate

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but adjusted children are free and spontaneous.

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You can see the kids that don't want to do anything that

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are very timid that have all kinds of hesitance that are very

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thoughtful with what they do and when and why and

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then you see when more adjusted kids come in,

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they just kind of go with the flow and they're more free and spontaneous.

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We see this all the time, but I don't think we've ever been able to

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recognize it as a term of adjustment or maladjustment.

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So I actually think this is super helpful. Ok. I'm gonna continue

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adjusted. Children will examine the whole play setting

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and use a large variety of play materials

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in contrast to maladjusted children

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who use a few toys and play in a small area.

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Ok. So let's think about this.

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We have kids that come in

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and they stand in one spot, they sit in one spot. They don't get up,

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they only engage with one toy.

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Sometimes they don't get engaged with any toys.

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They limit their movement, they limit their exploration of the room

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and then you have kids that come in and

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they check out everything and they pick everything up and we,

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we talk about the exploratory play that takes place in the first few weeks.

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Right.

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Adjusted children are going to use all kinds of things

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and explore and investigate and see what's in there.

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More.

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Maladjusted kids are going to be very limited in

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the toys and the area in which they play.

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So fascinating.

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Let me continue. Maladjusted. Ok. Whoa, this is a big one.

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Maladjusted children often want to be told what to do and what not to do

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and I know at least one child just popped into your head

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because we always have that kid that goes,

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I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do?

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Just tell me what, just tell me what I'm supposed to do.

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Well, I'm bored. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

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Well, you, you can, you just ask me questions? Well, what game do you wanna play?

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Well, what

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they want to be given expectations, they want to be told

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what to do and what not to do.

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However continuing adjusted children

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use various strategies to discover their responsibilities and limitations

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in the therapeutic relationship.

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So,

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a more adjusted child is going to not necessarily

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be fully comfortable with all the power and responsibility.

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Yet they will use various strategies to figure all of that out.

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Essentially coping. Right.

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Ok. Continuing

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when bothered or annoyed

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adjusted children use a concrete way to bring out their problem.

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Maladjusted children

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are more likely to express their feelings symbolically with paints, clay,

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sand or water.

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Really interesting.

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Continuing, maladjusted children are often aggressive

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and want to destroy the play materials and sometimes the therapist.

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So think about your most aggressive children,

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the most destructive children

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likely the most maladjusted

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aggression also is seen in adjusted children,

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but it is clearly expressed without massive destruction

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and responsibility is accepted for the expression.

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So be very careful with this because I've,

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I've learned the hard way that sometimes we talk about things

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and it's interpreted as very black and white and concrete and people kind of go

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in one direction with it and there isn't really any wiggle room or gray.

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So I don't want you to think, ok, if a kid's aggressive, they're maladjusted,

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let's be really clear. It says aggression is also seen in adjusted children.

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So that cannot be the deciding factor of whether or

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not you determine the child is more adjusted or maladjusted.

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But

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aggression in adjusted children

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is clearly expressed without massive destruction.

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So they can be aggressive without destroying things

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and they take responsibility for the expression.

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Adjusted children are not so serious and

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intense in their feelings about themselves,

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the therapist or their play

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as are maladjusted children.

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So, let's talk about that for a second.

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Think about kids that pop into your head

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that are really serious, really intense.

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Everything is a big deal. Everything has

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an aura to it.

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That's just big and heavy and

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just,

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there's a lot of weight to it.

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Those are the less adjusted children

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but adjusted children

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are

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less intense, less serious

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and

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their play,

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their interaction with the therapist and

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their feelings about themselves are just lighter

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and we have those kinds of kids as well. So you can clearly see the difference.

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OK. And then to sum this up,

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Moustakas

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concluded from his experiences with adjusted and maladjusted children

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that all children

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irrespective of the quality of their adjustment

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express similar types of negative attitudes.

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OK? So this is very interesting

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because to this point,

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we've been seeing the differences and how it manifests itself in sessions.

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So now we have a little bit of a framework if you will or an assessment guide

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to recognize, ok, that is more maladjusted behavior than adjusted behavior,

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right?

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So that will give us some perspective and awareness

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of what's happening with kids in our sessions.

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But now Moustakas

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is saying all children

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irrespective of the quality of their adjustment,

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express similar types of negative attitudes.

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Continuing the difference between well adjusted and maladjusted children

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lies not primarily

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in the type of negative attitudes

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they demonstrate,

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but rather in the quantity and intensity of such attitudes.

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Uh huh.

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So it's a level issue,

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not a presence issue.

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In other words,

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we're going to see negative attitudes across

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every child that comes into our playrooms.

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So it's not in the fact that it exists, it's in the quantity. So how many of them

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and the intensity, the degree of these attitudes

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continuing adjusted children express negative attitudes less often

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and with more focus and direction,

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maladjusted children express,

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express negative attitudes frequently and intensely

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with less focus and direction.

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I find this so fascinating. This is,

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this is the greatness of going back to

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early works where it all began.

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You know, these books are at this point.

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Gosh, I mean, many of them are from the eighties and nineties.

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So I mean, we're literally looking at 30 to 40 years old here,

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but look at the

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nuggets and gems that we're pulling out of here. This is

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the importance

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of really, truly understanding

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at its early origin,

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the basic components of child centered play therapy

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and all of the nuances and facets there in

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because yes, skills matter.

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But

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so does our awareness and recognition of

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adjustment in children and maladjustment in children.

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And we get that straight out of Art of the Relationship. So

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all right, y'all, we are soon to be wrapping up our summer school series.

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So there are going to be a few more

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but in the next few weeks, we will be wrapping up that. Thank you for the feedback.

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Thank you for letting me know that it's been really helpful

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and I'm so encourage that so many of you are purchasing these books and,

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and adding them to your library and finding value in these.

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We,

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we have to go back to the basics so that we don't lose what we're supposed to be doing.

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So I'm, I'm really glad that this has resonated with all of you.

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I'm super grateful for you. Love you all so much. Couple of housekeeping things,

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make plans to be in Atlanta, in October, if you haven't already.

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So Friday night

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in Atlanta, we're going to have a huge meet up.

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I would love, love, love to have you there.

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I have people coming from all over the country, even Alaska.

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So that's pretty, pretty far away.

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So if you're not as far as Alaska, you have no excuse. So please make plans to do that.

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We would love to have you there.

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I have tons more training planned and that I'm currently working on with CoreWell.

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So stay tuned for more CEU opportunities.

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And as always, I love your feedback.

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So if you would like more of something less of something, if you have some ideas,

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if you wanna throw something out, I would love to hear your thoughts.

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So please reach out and that's the way that I make sure that

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I'm staying in tune with what you all need and want you know how much I love you.

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We'll talk again soon. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr

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Brenna Hicks. For more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.