#290: Life Changing Mindset Shifts

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Elsie

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You're listening to the a beautiful mess podcast. Your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Elsie Larson.

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Emma

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And I'm Emma Chapman.

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Elsie

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This week, we're talking about mindset shifts that changed our lives. Sometimes, before your life can

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change, your perspective has to change first. We're also doing a rapid fire hot take debate with a bunch

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of listener submitted hot takes. I'm so excited about this episode. Yeah, so Okay, before we begin, I got

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an email from Meredith, and I want to just like, read her email, because it like it warmed my heart, and I

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feel like it's like a group activity that we're all gonna do. Okay, from Meredith, I'm a longtime fan of the

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podcast, and really appreciate y'all's perspective on creativity and hobbies you have helped me let go

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of so much weird guilt and shame that I used to have around quitting hobbies that I was once excited

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about. Thank you for giving me permission to move on when projects I thought were going to become

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my whole personality. Parentheses, watercolor, wheel, pottery, block printing. The list goes on. Stop

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becoming interesting. I think maybe exploring new hobbies is my actual hobby. This is one of my

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favorite emails we've gotten. I feel like this. This is what I want to put out in the world, and it feels so

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good.

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Emma

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I love it. Couldn't love it more. And I also love the idea of like someone be like, so what's your hobby?

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And you're like, I try new hobbies this week. I'm knitting. I love it. I would be like, Oh, I understand you

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immediately. I feel like so many people would be like, let's talk, because I'm the same. Like, yes, yeah,

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yes. So yeah, sometimes just trying is the best part of something, and that's okay, yeah.

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Elsie

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Okay. So we're going to talk this week about life changing mindset shifts. So we have about like, five or

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six different mindset shifts to share. I think that, you know, sometimes, like, you have to rewire your own

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brain. You know, no one's going to do it for you. I think this is so valuable and like, I don't know. I don't

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want this episode to become preachy, because I also think that, like, do what's good for you, yeah. And,

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like, whatever, leave the rest. You know how yoga teachers always say, take what resonates with you

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and leave the rest?

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Emma

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Yeah, exactly. And I'm always like, good. I'm not stretching that far. This down dog is too much for me.

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My wrists hurt. No, he's kidding, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. And, I mean, I think it's like impossible not to be

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preachy about things that you're excited about and believe in. But that doesn't mean that other people

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have to be. Like, if it works for you, great, if it doesn't do something else, that's fine. And in my mind too,

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like, these are very much like shifts. If you need to completely rewire your brain. You might, you might,

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you might consider therapy. I have loved therapy. I think it's super helpful. But like we're talking about,

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kind of like, to me, these are sort of small, like, something's kind of bothering me, and I keep getting

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myself down about it, and now I'm going to shift my attention. I'm going to shift my thoughts on it to

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something more positive, more productive. It's going to help me move past that and, like, just live a little

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happier, a little more joy filled. So all right, we're going to go back and forth. So what is your first

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mindset shift?

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Elsie

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It's what's the best that could happen? So this simple, like, I think we all, we all like, are hard wired to

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think what could go wrong. And that's natural. I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking of the

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best the worst case scenario, because I think it's just like human nature, it's normal. So, yeah, don't

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beat yourself up if you automatically think about how things could go wrong. Like, that's fine. Like, that's

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part of our our nature, you know, is like realizing that there's risk, and analyzing the risk and deciding if

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it's worth it or not. And you know, like they say, like that, part of your brain keeps you safe from injuries

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and death. So, you know, there's nothing wrong with that, but I think also always taking the time to

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imagine the best case scenario is so powerful, and it's something that I know. I never heard anyone

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say, What's the best that could happen until recently, and our friend Katie Day says it kind of like every

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day, so kind of constantly. Maybe that should be like her next book title. What's the best that could

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happen? That'd be good. Okay? Copyright. Never mind. You're like, you cannot copyright a book title,

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but.

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Emma

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Not when you're just talking about on a podcast and you haven't written anything. No, that's not

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allowed.

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Elsie

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Anyway, this is the exercise that like you must do this. You must do this to be a dreamer. And I think

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taking the time to imagine the best case scenario playing out like that is positive visualization. Like,

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that's what they mean when they say manifesting and positive visualization, like, just like imagining your

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like, wildest dream happening to you in a way that feels real in your body will change your life full stop.

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Emma

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Yeah. It's also like, just fun. It's fun to imagine the best case scenario. And here's my challenge, you

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don't even have to believe that it will happen. Just do it for the fun of it. I love to, like, go on a walk in my

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neighborhood and think about, like, what's the so I'm about to take Oscar to Disneyland for the first

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time, and there could be some things that go wrong, and those have occurred to me, I'm a mom who's

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not, you know, I've been doing this for a minute now, and it's occurred to me that there are some things

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that can go wrong on this trip, yeah, but you know, what's more fun is if I walk around thinking about,

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what's the best thing that could happen? Yeah? Like, what could how could our schedule go where it's

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like, going to be the most fun possible and like, what are like, cute things that he might say, and it's not

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that I even am trying to make that happen. I think he can have whatever reaction he's going to have.

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That's great. I'm happy with it, but it's just fun to picture the best case scenarios. And it doesn't mean

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that I'm not going to pack in case some of those bad things happen. I've got the backup granola bar just

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in case of emergencies, but I'm going to visualize and think about and spend my time kind of like

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thinking of the best things that might happen on this trip. And this is like a very small example. You can

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do this in your marriage, in your career, in whatever, in your creative life, just thinking about the best

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thing that might happen is fun, even if you don't want to believe that it's going to happen, just do it as a

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fun little Daydream exercise.

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Elsie

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I actually think Disneyland is a great like metaphor, like taking your kids to Disneyland is a great

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metaphor for life, because when the parents are so divided on whether or not they think it's quote,

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unquote, worth it and like it. It's really interesting to hear people's like, takes about it. It's just really,

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yeah, it's fascinating. But I'm on Team who gives a I'm also on team who gives. I will take my kids to

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Disneyland as many times as I have a chance to and we will do we will have good days and bad days,

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and we will have meltdowns. That's what the strollers for. And we will go back to our hotel early and

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take a nap, and we'll go to the pool to reset, and we'll have, you know, we'll have a snack when we

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need a snack. And, you know, God forbid, poop and barf. Like, you know what I mean.

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Emma

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I've been pooped on, I've been barfed on. I'm not afraid.

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Elsie

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To me, it's the best part. The highlights of it are the only parts that I remember later on. Actually, there's

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a few epic, like bad moments that we, like, to me and my husband like to talk about for sure, for the hell

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of it, but yeah, overall, you mainly remember the good stuff. And that's what they remember for sure.

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Emma

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Well, and like, to me too, I could feel myself. That's why I use it as an example, kind of being like, Oh

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no. What if our flight gets in late, we miss part of it. Oh no. What if he just, like, doesn't sleep in the

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hotel. He has a little bit of a time with sleep, blah, blah. And I could just feel myself going there. And I

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was like, Emma, what's the best that could happen? Yeah. And also, like, you're going on a trip to have

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fun with your son. Let's just visualize some fun things that you might do with him on this trip. And it

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doesn't even matter if they're like, perfectly Disney or whatever. It doesn't, it's just like, let's have fun.

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Let's make some core memories together. This is the first time I've ever taken my older son just the two

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of us too. And I just, it's just fun. I'm just excited about it, and I think there's lots of best things that could

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happen, and I'm no fool. A couple of those bad things are going to happen too, and it's fine. It's going to

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be great, though, and I'm going to spend my time focused on what's the best that could happen?

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Elsie

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Emotional support, corn dog. Let's, in the future do a whole Disney with kids episode, because I'm so

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passionate about this subject, but I think we need to move on. Okay, so I love it so much. Okay, so why

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not me? I think that was the title of one of Mindy kaling's books, which her books were really fun. She's

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awesome. She's wonderful. Anyway, here's the bottom line, if another human person is doing it, why

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can't I do it? You know what? I mean, really, why can't I? And I'm not talking about becoming an

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astronaut, like, I'm talking about like it could be anything, you know? I mean, I think there's just so many

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things in life that we tell ourselves we can't have, we can't do we like, I was raised this way, I you know,

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I never learned to do that. I didn't go to school. I did like, I made this mistake in my life. Who gives a

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like? I think that you have to look at other people see what cool, exciting thing they've achieved, and

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then once in a while, go for it and just like, why not me? Yep, make it happen. I think it's just like, it's

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proof, like other people in this world live with their house by the ocean. And it's like, if you decide that

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my goal in life is to live with a house by the ocean, you probably can live with a house by the ocean

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sometime in your life, you know what I mean? Like any goal is like that the big ones and the small ones.

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And I think it's just a beautiful thing to accept the possibilities. You know that they're not always just for

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other people. They're for all of us.

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Emma

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I love it. Okay? So one for me is cheer for yourself like you would others. So not everyone is like this. I

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have a theory that most people are. I think that it is so easy to, like, cheer your friend on when they're

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trying something new, or encourage your child when you see that they're struggling with something, we

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just don't do it to ourselves. It's like, all of a sudden that little side of us, like, turns off for some reason,

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because I will endlessly tell my friends that they can do things and mean it, and, like, give them ideas

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for how they could get there, or, like, even some kind of help in some way. And then I'll kind of turn it off

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a little bit, or quiet that cheerleader voice whenever I'm thinking of myself, and it's like, why why not just

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cheer for yourself in the same way that you would your friends. Why not? Like, you know, just why not?

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It's you should. And the other part of it too is, I think that whenever we're watching other people do

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something new or try for their dream or whatever, it's a lot of times easier for us to see that they've got

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it. Maybe they don't have it right the second. Maybe they're not going to get it today, but like, they'll get

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it. And we can see that, because we don't have all this emotional connection to it in the way that we do

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when we do it ourselves. You know, when I'm learning something new, I have all these feelings of, oh,

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I'm bad at this, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, everybody's seeing that I'm bad at this, and that's

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embarrassing, you know, like you have all of that, whereas when you're watching a friend do it, or your

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child do it, or whatever, you don't have that. So you're able to kind of set that aside and be like, yeah, all

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those things exist, but you got it, you're going to be able to do it. And so it's like, try to do that for

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yourself. Try to, at times, set aside the feelings of, oh, I'm not good at this, and everyone's seeing that

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I'm bad at this, or, wow, I had a really bad day. I did a bad job at this thing today. Whoo, you know, like,

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set those feelings aside for a little bit to tell yourself, yeah, but you got it. You're capable. You've been

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through worse. You can handle things. You've handled things in the past, and you will be able to do it

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again, like, just set all the things aside and cheer for yourself like you would someone, someone else,

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someone you're not connected to, someone you don't have to have the emotions of, because I think it

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can help you kind of bolster that spirit of, like, all right, I've got to try it again. All right, I'm gonna get

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back out there, you know? And sometimes that's what you need.

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Elsie

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Agree, I love it, love it. Love it. So my next one is practice being an optimist. So one thing about me is I

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have always wanted to be a cool girl. And I'm not saying I am. I'm saying I've always wanted to be and

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like the characters in movies like Deb from Empire Records, and Winona Ryder's character in

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Beetlejuice, you know, those, like cool emo characters, like, that's who I always wanted to be from an

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early age. So I think that I did develop a habit of, sort of like being negative to try to sound cool, which

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like, especially in my 20s, I would, like, make fun of people, or, like, sort of like, I don't know, just like, be

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like, I'm like, I always, I wasn't saying it, but I was acting like I'm too cool for, you know, Twilight, and

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like, I'm too cool, whatever.

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Emma

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No one's too cool for Twilight.

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Elsie

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And I wasn't, and I like, not even close. Twilight is a marvel. It's a wonder of the world. And I was

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missing out. I was robbing myself of pure joy and pleasure in this life. So I don't think there's anything

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wrong with like, having a cool girl esthetic or veneer. You know, if, like, I'm still, I'm still, like, always

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gonna be a Donna tart till I die. I love it. It's what I like. But I also want to be a little bit of an Elle Woods

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character. And, you know, like, like, what? Like, it's hard. Like, it's hard. I just think that practicing being

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optimistic, you know, practice believing in yourself, publicly, that's embarrassing. That's real

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embarrassing when you try it for the first time. But it gets easier and easier and eventually, like I say,

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sometimes the most I mean, the out of touch allegations are true, I will say, but like I say, like, I believe

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in myself in public in a way that is like, it should be embarrassing, or it could be embarrassing, but when

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I do it, I realize, like other people around me are just like nodding their heads, like shrugging their

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shoulders, like, yeah, you know. And I just think that's like, a good way to be in life.

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Emma

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What's so wrong with being out of touch? Okay, this one I'm gonna call it. I think I'm just gonna call it

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like time perspective. So I'm pretty sure this is from Bjork, who does the blog pinch of yam with his wife,

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and he said this one time on a podcast or wrote it in a blog post. I don't exactly know, but I'm pretty sure

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it's from him, but it was something to the effect of, we overestimate what we can get done in a day, but

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we underestimate what we can get done in a year. And the idea is, I feel like we or at least I can, spend

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a lot of time beating myself up about, like, today, I wanted to get these three things done, and I only got

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one thing done, and because there were these other things out of my control, or maybe I just had a bad

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day and I wasted my time, whatever, like, and you can spend a lot of time being like, uh, I'm, you know,

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not an efficient person, or I must not really want it, or whatever, my life doesn't Let me get things done.

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You know, whatever narrative you want to do there, but it's like a lot of times we think we can do a lot in

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one day, and we can only do so much, but if you piece it all together, you can do a whole lot. And I think

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over time, like once you get older, like we are, I just get once you have enough perspective, you can

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kind of see how things compound, and you can appreciate that more. So you can see, like, wow, I want

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to build this thing that's going to take 10 years, and actually 10 years is going to go by, and so I'm just

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going to work on it and enjoy the day, and know that today might be a really good day, I got a lot done,

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and tomorrow might be a really bad day, and I didn't get anything done. I had the flu for three days. I got

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nothing done that's okay, because I'm building something that's going to compound over time, and I'm

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just going to let it keep going and keep going. And I'm if I have a bad day, I'm going to let that go, pick

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up the next day and keep going, because I know that it's about this whole thing, and not just like one

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little season. And you know, I think this can be really helpful mindset shift whenever you're in a season

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of life that might be slower for whatever reason. You know, for me right now, I'm staying home with my

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youngest son, and so I'm working a lot less than I'm used to, and I have days where I cry about that

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because I love working and I miss it, but I also really try to shift my mind in those moments and be like,

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it's okay to have feelings about it. The feelings are fine. Always have feelings when you want to have

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feelings, but what I truly believe is I'm going to get a lot done in my career. And this isn't even like a bad

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time for me. This is just a slower time for me because I'm doing something else that's really important,

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but over the course of my whole time, like this new chapter that I'm starting right now, I'm going to get

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tons done, and I'm not worried about it, and it's okay if I miss working right now, it's okay to have those

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feelings, but it's not true that I'm not headed somewhere great and I'm not worried about it, and I'm

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gonna just take what I can get and enjoy my son the rest of time. And that's that it's kind of just like

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accepting. I guess it's a little bit of an accepting thing with a recognition that, like a lot can happen if you

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give it enough time.

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Elsie

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I love it. It's kind of like how people always say overnight success takes about 10 years. Yeah. Like,

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that's like the truth and like the person who it's their lived experience is the only one who remembers

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that stuff, because it's just not an interesting part of the process for other people, you know, like, yeah.

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Emma

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Part of the movie that's like, and then I did all this, and then they start the movie, you know, it's like, the

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beginning part that like, we skip past anyway.

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Elsie

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Okay, so my last one is, learn to see patterns, possibilities, opportunities. So this is a thing you can train

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your brain to do in life, is just to see life through a lens of opportunity. And so many of the things that we

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tried and did in life that really worked for us were random, little like blips in time where it was, like, I

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could see a pattern of, like, something that was about to blow up, or, you know, like when we made our

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first app. That's always my best example, because our first app was our most life changing experience

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that we ever had. I just like her. I remember it was like our I had my first or second iPhone, and I had

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just apps had just launched, and then I heard someone say that people could make apps, which I didn't

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know. I at first thought they were all from Apple, yeah, I thought it was just like a part of the phone,

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right? So that was new information. And then my brain was instantly like, what if I make an app, and we

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were so early to the game, I truly believe that was the main reason we were successful at that because

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we were so much earlier than everyone else. And by the time, usually early, yes, by the time most

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people were making apps, we were on our second or third or fourth and the market was more

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saturated, and it was more challenging. But on the first one, it was real easy, and it was, yeah, it was

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completely life changing. So I think, like learning to look all around you for these little emerging patterns

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and opportunities, like when you learn to look for it, you will find them. And obviously you don't have to

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jump on every single one, but I think selecting a few and taking those risks, like taking those gambles in

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life. It changed our life. And I like, I just think it's an exciting way to live.

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Emma

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Yeah, and I think it is a slight shift in some ways, from like, I think a lot of times we're sort of taught

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when we're young, like, you should have a dream and go after it and never stop until you get that

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dream, you know, or something like that. And this is sort of like a slight shift from that. It's like, well,

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what if your dream is to have a creative job? Now you can just look for any opportunity to do that, and it

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might come in a number of different ways. Yeah. Whereas if you narrowly decide, I'm going to do this

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one thing, then you're kind of going to end up probably ignoring opportunities that sort of come your

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way, because you're trying to narrowly do this one thing. And so I think it's like, kind of an opening

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yourself up to what the universe might bring to you. You know, looking for the opportunities, it's being

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open, yes, definitely. I think being willing to respond to opportunities that pop up and just sort of like,

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pluck them out of the air, put it in your pocket. Yeah, I will do that. Sign me up.

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Elsie

00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.000
Yep, it's a beautiful way to be, and it is a skill that you can practice. Okay, so I hope this was helpful. I

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would love to hear your mindset shifts like maybe you didn't label them as such, but think about like, the

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times in your life when you know you changed the way you thought about something and it like blew up

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and changed your life. Send us those because we love to do them. I will say our podcast email is one of

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the happiest places in the world. I just love it. I love reading them every single week. It's a wonderful

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place to be. It's one of our joyful.

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Emma

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It really is. It's like, first I go open a tab for thriftbooks.com because if I get any recommendations, it's

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time to purchase. And then I open it up and just like, sip my drink and see what everyone's talking

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about. And a lot of times it's like, great ideas, hot takes, things they want to hear about. And then just

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like, comments of like, yeah, me too, basically. And it's like, these are my people.

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Elsie

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We love you. Okay, so we're gonna do a whole hot take segment. So we're gonna do Meredith's hot

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take, and then we're gonna do a rapid fire so I'm just gonna, like, use up all the hot takes we have. So

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we do need new ones. Podcast had a beautiful mess.com but I thought this would be fun, because I

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think the hot takes is a really fun thing that we're doing right now. So this is Meredith's from Rhode

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Island. She says, I always chuckle to myself when you refer to Springfield as a small town. I'm from an

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actual small town with less than 5000 people. Springfield is no New York, but it's definitely still a city

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and not a small town. Okay, I'm with Meredith. Meredith is correct, but, but I do have, I have some

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caveats, Meredith, you're correct. Like Springfield, I think this population is 170,000 or something like,

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something like that one. It's not a small town. Missouri State University is by my house, and we have,

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let's say, the things that make it big and then the things that make it small, like Emma's mentioned

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before, we do have, like, 25 Walmarts. Probably have more Walmart's than New York City. That's the

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biggest, we might the biggest city thing about Springfield, but only one target. Yeah. So there's the

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juxtaposition, the things that make it feel I mean, there's several there's several colleges, there's a big

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student population. There is. It's not too small on the map, like, it's kind of a spread out place, like land

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wise, and we are not near a major city, so we kind of are the major city. So there's a lot of suburbs and

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smaller towns that kind of combine into our city, yeah? And so for that reason, we do, we get a decent

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amount of, like, concerts and comedy and things like that. We just don't have any giant kind of venues.

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Emma

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Yeah, we don't have big enough like arenas.

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Elsie

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If you want to watch, like a Taylor Swift concert or something you do have to drive to Kansas, that you'll

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have to St Louis, for sure, but like, Harry Styles is not coming to Springfield, no Missouri, but once in a

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while, there's a band I've heard of and that's cool. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's the things that make it

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feel big. I agree. It's not small. I think true small towns. You can count the number of stoplights, and it's

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like less than five, and ours is like a lot, I don't know, hundreds. So yeah, it's not a small town. But okay,

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here's, here's the thing, it feels like a small town to me, because there's, there are, like, whole

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categories of things that feel like missing. Like, there's very, very few good, nice restaurants. There's

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very, very few places you can shop. There's very, very few. What else there's we only have one very,

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very small local bookstore, and then Barnes and Noble so there's just things about it, like, we have a lot

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of coffee shops. We have a lot of breakfast restaurants. There's, like, certain things that are we have a

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lot of bars. Missouri, a lot of ours talked, discussed before, is like, kind of an alcoholic state. So a lot of

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dispensaries now too, a lot of weed shops, a lot of vape shops, which is the depressing anyway, I'm just

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trying to make you understand there's, a there's a lack of culture that is oppressive.

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Emma

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Well, I think, like to me, what it is is, if I go to certain coffee shops, and there's really only a handful that

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I even go to, I can almost guarantee I'll see someone I know, yeah, which I think is kind of small town

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feeling, yeah, because I don't necessarily think someone in a big city feels that way, but maybe they do.

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I don't know. I don't live in a big city. I live in a midsize city, so that's that's part of it. And yeah, you run

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out of places to eat out if you eat out often, even, like once a week. So yeah, but to me, it's never felt

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like a small town. Because when I think of a small town, I think of, like, where our grandmother was

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from, buffalo, Missouri, which I think does have, or where we grew up going to school, Willard. Willard,

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Missouri, yeah, because there are like, a handful of stoplights and, you know, just things like that. And

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like, you do see all the same people all the time, yeah? And I'm like, Yeah, that's a small town. This is

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not a small town, but it feels like a small town at times, because you run into the same people over and

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over.

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Elsie

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Basically, we know the difference, but we're gonna keep calling it a small town, because it doesn't have

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a bunch of things that I feel like entitled to. Like, there's no Trader Joe's, wow, there's no Cheesecake

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Factory. No, there's no basic Midwestern pleasures. No, give me a Cheesecake Factory. Give me a

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Trader Joe's. It's true, yeah, anyway, but you're right, and we agree. Okay, so let's do rapid fire hot

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takes, so I will read them off, and then you can say, agree or disagree. Maybe a little defense, or, I don't

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know, is that good?

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Emma

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Yeah, okay, okay.

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Elsie

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What are the rules? What should we say are the rules?

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Emma

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Just like, give us your quick like, your hot take on the hot take, I guess.

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Elsie

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Yeah, okay, the first hot take, and I didn't write down I'm sorry everyone's name for these ones.

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Everyone should be in therapy. I'm just gonna go agree. I think that there's different ways to think about

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it. Some people think you go to therapy when you really need it, you kind of graduate. You go back

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when you need it again. I am more of a lifer, and I will just kind of stay in therapy. I enjoy the ritual of at

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least going once a month to therapy.

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Emma

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Same I think therapy is great. You should at least try it. And if it's not for you, fine, but, you know, give it

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a no. Thank you bite. As I would say, no thank you bite. So they make our kids see when they try to

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food. As I also like to say, if you're not going to go to therapy, at least watch Bob's Burgers. The next

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best thing this how I feel. It's better than therapy.

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Elsie

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Okay, so the next hot take is we are worse off because of the internet. I'm gonna have to go disagree.

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Emma

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Hard disagree, but I know where you're coming from.

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Elsie

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Yeah, I can rant about screen time. I can rant about social media, things I miss from the 90s. I can go

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nostalgic, but I can't say that the world is not a better place in many ways because of the internet.

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Emma

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Have you ever needed something and then it arrived to your house two days later? It's incredible. It's

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like modern magic, Alchemy. It's insane, and it's honestly great. But also, yeah, it could go overboard.

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Like, don't overdo it, you know, watch out. And there's some things that can really get you so, like,

00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:33.000
yeah, yeah, you got to avoid those. You had to learn about it. You got to, you got to keep your skeptical

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eye on it.

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Elsie

00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:36.000
Critical Thinking hat stays on.

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Emma

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Yep, keep that there. But, and I still love books, but, yeah, internet's great. And definitely change the

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world.

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Elsie

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Yeah, I don't think I'm worse off. I probably would not have the career. I would not be a rich person if I

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didn't have the internet. Like, you know what that was kind of our spot in, like, I don't know. So it's also

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a land of opportunity for many people.

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Emma

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Yeah, for people from, like, mid sized cities, you might say, going back to the.

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Elsie

00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:47.000
Yeah, Okay, the next one. I love this one, I'm gonna say I hate it when people pay it forward in the drive

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thru line, it creates pressure and chaos. I agree.

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Emma

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I agree. I hate it. I hate it. I participate, because I'm from the Midwest, and I try to be kind and go along

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with what's going around. But I don't like it.

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Elsie

00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.000
Okay? I don't participate anymore. I say thank you and drive off. Yes, I just say thank you, because I

00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:54.000
heard some people on social media who work at Starbucks say they would say that that's what you

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should do, and that's what I do now, and I feel bad, but I also think that like someone has to end it,

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because I agree that it creates pressure and chaos that is annoying.

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Emma

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That is like, what you're doing is you're you are trying to, like, give the person behind you a little, tiny

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gift, you know, but you're not giving a gift unless you're the person who cuts it off. You're not really

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receiving a gift. You're just paying another random price. That's what I'm saying. So, like, you're kind of

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doing, like, a nice thing. I'm just trying to help you not feel bad the next time you do it, you're kind of

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doing a nice thing to the person who did pay for you, because you're accepting their gift.

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Elsie

00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:04.000
Well, I've heard that, according to the people who work in Drive Thru restaurants that they would they

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want you to stop it. So just stop it. It's better for them, and it's better for everyone, and it's kind of what's

00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:06.000
good to know. It's good etiquette to stop it, but, yeah, I feel bad. Well, I was just being about it, but this

00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:07.000
is actually a good reason, right? It is annoying, though, because, like, if you keep it going, then you're

00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:08.000
not paying for your food. You're paying, like, just a random number and, like, why? But why is that

00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:09.000
different? You know? I mean, yeah, it's not really generous. It's just confusing. Yeah, okay. But I do

00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:10.000
think I will say this, there's this thing that happens in movies where people like, send a bottle of

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champagne to another table, or they like, pay for another person's meal in a restaurant, in a nice

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restaurant, and I think people should do that more. Let's bring that back, because that's actually like, so

00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:13.000
classy and cool to, like, see someone across the room and then send them a dessert or something.

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Emma

00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:15.000
Yeah, especially if you could tell they're celebrating, like, but I feel like, maybe that's hard to know, but I

00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:16.000
don't know, yeah, yeah. That's all fun.

00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:17.000
Elsie

00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:18.000
Like, I love it when they do that in movies, and it never happens in real life. So I think that would be

00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:19.000
more like, of a surprise that, like, made your day.

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Emma

00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:21.000
Yeah, I like, that does seem like a very classy move. Yeah.

00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:22.000
Elsie

00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:23.000
The next one, there's two more. AI is making us all dumber?

00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:24.000
Emma

00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:25.000
Is this a hot take? I feel like this might just be possibly true. We're looking into it.

00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:26.000
Elsie

00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:27.000
I think there's studies already. I think it's true. I think it's facts.

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Emma

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Yeah, I think it's a fact.

00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:30.000
Elsie

00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:31.000
I am so glad there wasn't AI when I was in school, or at least not newly that's the toughest era, because

00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:32.000
then everyone's figuring out how to manage it and stuff. I need to talk to our nieces and nephews and

00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:33.000
ask them if they I'm very curious what it's like to be a high school or college student right now or

00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:34.000
teacher. Okay, so my position is broadly AI skeptical. I wouldn't say I'm like, 100% anti AI, but I'm like,

00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:35.000
prove to me that it's useful, but like, I'm not just going to use it for everything. I feel like some people are

00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:36.000
just using it for everything, when it's like, not even the best option. So, yeah, I don't know.

00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:37.000
Emma

00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:38.000
Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm like, I like a number of things. I don't even think I know enough about it to

00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:39.000
say, like, oh, the way it changed this industry. I love the way it changed my industry. Was a bummer, but

00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:40.000
I think kind of useful for the consumer. So I get it, yeah, and I don't know, yeah, I feel like, Oh, this is a

00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.000
neat new thing. I'm open to it. I definitely feel skeptical though. I don't want to use it for everything.

00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.000
Elsie

00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.000
Yeah, don't use it to write your emails. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. Yeah, okay. Last one,

00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:44.000
pineapple not only belongs on pizza, but is the best pizza topping.

00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.000
Emma

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Thank you.

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Elsie

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Okay, this is finally one where we are on two different sides. I think it's gross. I think it's yucky, yucky,

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yucky. I don't want it, and you love it.

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Emma

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I love pineapple on pizza. If I'm not ordering for my kids, I'm getting pepperoni and pineapple, and I

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sometimes will get pineapple and jalapenos, which is called Sweet Heat, and it's delicious. I love

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pineapple on pizza. I don't know who started it, but they work correct, and everyone else is wrong.

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Elsie

00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:55.000
Okay, yeah, I just think it's gross. I have no other comments.

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Emma

00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:57.000
I'll also take though to be fair, to just show how unhinged I am about pizza. I've also had a number of

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pizzas with blueberries on them before, more than once. This has come up, and I ordered it the blog

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once, and it was delicious. I yeah, I kind of think fruit on pizza. And I'm not talking about fruit pizza.

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That's a different thing. I'm talking about pizza, melted cheese. Yeah, savory pizza. Savory pizza, and it

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has some element of a fruit on it, blueberry, pineapple, something of that nature. I think the blueberries

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are more classy than the pineapple. Well, that's probably true, because pineapple just kind of well,

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pineapple, a lot of times it comes from a can. So that might be what's giving you the I don't know.

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Blueberries don't come out of a can. I mean, generally, I don't know when that would come up.

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Elsie

00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:06.000
No, I would not order it, but I would. You don't think pineapple tastes really good together, though,

00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.000
because it's like a little bit sweet, no, like spiciness of the pie. All right, I restate my position, yucky,

00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:08.000
yucky, yucky very well agree to disagree. Okay, okay, let's toss it over to a joke or a fact with Nova. Hey,

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Nova, what do you have for us this week?

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Nova

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A joke.

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Elsie

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A joke. Okay, I'm ready.

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Nova

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What is the fastest thing on your face?

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Elsie

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Hmm, I do not know.

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Nova

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It's your nose. It's always running.

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Elsie

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Good job. I love it. Okay, we'll see you next week.

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Nova

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Goodbye.

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Elsie

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All right. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to send us your hot takes, please do anytime

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podcast@beautifulmess.com and we also always need episode topic suggestions. So anytime you

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want to send us an episode request, we will probably do it, because we're back to podcasting every

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single week, and we just need a lot of ideas all the time. All right, we'll be back next week.