12 Steps of Christmas - Act 2

Act two logline Twelve Steps of Christmas, a filthy Christmas comedy.
One of a rebellious kids.
Denied his dream Christmas present by his mom, he goes
to his estranged alcoholic father, who lies about being sober
with an idea adapt the twelve step program to teach
me how not to be you. In Act one, we
learned Jake is afraid he can't change. We also learned
that his father, Carl sobriety is the non existent kind
that features a handle.
Of that sweet, sweet daily hooch.
Adapting the twelve steps from a recovery he did not
achieve and from a program he did not complete, Carl
uses negative credentials to create an adapted Christmas theme list
to help Jake reform his own aggressive behaviors. We ended
with Jake being humiliated and beaten by a giant hen,
yet somehow also completing step two and three. Can Jake
complete more or can he somehow learned something from such
a fuck up father. We're uncertain, So text your sponsor
and fill a cup with two perfect ized cubes and
Canadian rye. Watch you know it swirls differently against the cubes,
clouding ever so slightly Oh God, add more to taste
or tolerance.
Hmm, oh yeah, Mama.
That's the stuff, and join me and USh for K
two as two of the least qualified people in the
world try to stumble into lessons of empathy and personal
responds ability.
Interior redepartment, bathroom day, Jake inspects his black eye and
smash nose in the mirror. He checks it from different angles.
There's no hiding this thing. The kitchen, Jake goes through
the mail.
He opens an envelope and smile. So the picture on
the card the perfect inviting Christmas home. He fist pumps
when a check falls out. Moments later, Jake gazes at
the picture of the house phone to ear.
I just wanted to say thanks for the money and everything,
so thanks.
Intercut with interior department Store a night. Grandma sixties, a
woman who can be described as handsome, pushes her cart
down a nisle of holiday decorations.
Well, I hope you get yourself something nice you want.
Grandma reaches for a figure of adolescent Jesus and is
often ignored awkward teenage years, but a stressed mom thirty
five grabs the last one while her screaming child.
Four has a tantrum.
How are you? Is your mother there? Take a wild
guess she's at work?
Your mother?
Honestly, I don't know what to do. I'll pray to
the Lord for you both every night.
Grandma sees mom distracted and swipes Jesus from her cart.
I'm always here, Okay, I know. I think I'll hear
the door. I gotta go.
Thanks, love you close on awkward adolescent Jesus lands in
Grandma's cart. Interior redepartment kitchen day, Ashley enters home from work.
Hi, sweetie, ooh mail anything for me besides preapproved credit
they won't approve.
Ashley sees Jake and the fridge seemingly ignoring her.
Not even a hello. I'm the one who should still
be mad here.
Not you. I just never took the time to read
and appreciate this stuff. Did you know this cran raspberry
flavored juice cocktail is a refreshing way to get the
new tree means you need for an active lifestyle.
You won't even look at me.
Jake emerges, but hides his face behind a jug of juice.
We have five percent juice from concentrate for optimum taste
and vibrant color water in a high frutose corn zerrup
two faces bottle in Battle Creek, Michigan.
Stop acting like this, talk to me.
Ashley lowers the juice, exposing Jake's beat up face.
Jesus, what happens to your face?
There were these really big hands, like heavy ones, way
up on a shelf.
It fell on you.
I volunteer to get him down, and yeah.
Damn, you're really getting into volunteering.
Let me get some ice.
Ashley opens the freezer. A lie worked, but Jake feels bad.
Interior Carl's apartment living room day. Carl watches from the
couch as this parole officer, Jordan, fifty's dour wears heavy overcoat,
studies three small plush Christmas elves on the windowsill.
These elves look demented.
The wife and kid gave me one every year, sort
of lost the.
Others, and that figures this will be my first Christmas
without my wife.
You know same here. I know that.
Difference is I don't see mine because of some unpronounceable cancer.
You don't see yours because you're a continuable fuck up. You, Karl,
are your own cancer.
Jordan clicks his pen and makes notes next to a checklist.
Let's see who's been naughty or nice?
So you're all alone this year?
Nah, I got family, nieces, nephews, whatever, that's good. No,
they insisted, I'm being suffocated by the goddamn Christmas spirit.
I've been worried about you, your man, since your wife,
you haven't been your normal buoyant self.
You've known me to be buoyant.
No, no, always very grave, but differently so. Jordan looks
up from his report.
You don't need a list to see how bad this
place is. You just need eyes.
Jordan is knocked back by something he smells and a nose.
What the hell's that smell? Is it better if I
know what it is or don't know whether it is?
Look around? Would you treat someone you care about as
badly as you treat yourself?
Carl shrugs.
The answer is beyond me as well, So guess what
You're going to a meeting, go figure something out.
But if trying all that dumb shit.
Reminder, I'm the one who decides your value to society.
Don't fuck with me, Carl is shook.
Jordan throws a copy of the report at him.
You say it's dumb, but I noted. You're just scared.
Better find a way to get over that fear.
Carl thinks about how. Hours later, Carl sits on the couch,
fidgeting nervously, looking back and forth between the door and
the drink in his hand.
You know, I was hoping for a bit of that
liquid courage you advertise.
Carl drinks, he looks at the door.
Is this like a self interest thing? Instead of getting
up the nerve? You frame my nerves so bad? I'm
too weak and afraid to go all at once.
Carl stands, aces his drink and heads out the door,
grabbing his elf coat off a chair on the way. Interior,
redepartment living room night. Ashley comes home, carrying a pizza
and looking exhausted.
I'm back from the breakdancing finals.
I didn't win, but it.
Was a valuable experience. I think my popping is excellent.
Lock in these work.
Jake greets her wearing a Christmas sweater, hair combed and
offering eggnog. It's his best impression of a good kid.
Some delicious nog.
Wow, so hopeful?
And did you bathe? I know a mother's love is
supposed to be unconditional, But I think I like you
more right now.
Later kitchen, Jake and Ashley sit sharing the pizza.
Hope you weren't too hungry. I feel like other homes
are full of pies, fresh baked cookies, whatever a Yule
log is at a Christmas pheasant.
Maybe this food in this home is as good as
any other, even if that home is in southern Delaware.
Ashley laughs, but the moment is ruined when the phone rings.
She answers, and Jake watches her good mood turn sour
as she shoots in the stern look. She covers the phone.
It's mister Elfman. Did you blow off the food drive
just to hang around the house? Very not cool, Jake.
People starve so you can eat pizza.
Take some cans with you.
Jake knows what's going on here, and he's royally pissed.
Interior Officina in Tegrup Hispana night, Jake and Carl join
Hispanic alcoholics sitting in folding chairs while children race around
the room.
What the hell are we doing at a Mexican AA meeting?
Do this next thing and you'll be done with steps
four and five and six and even seven. That's two
birds with one stone and then two more again, dead
birds all round. Fuck them.
I really needed to light a mom for this. She
finally seemed okay. Now she's back in crazy bitch mood.
You're too hard on her. That's why you need to
be here. Step four name ways you're a flawed fucker,
emphasizing times you've been crazy, fuckeratic, dumb, fuck, erroneous or
violent fuckeruptive.
Kids don't deal with such crazy bullshit. It just doesn't
happen with other moms. It's only herd, that's all I know.
Carl spots Angel on his way to the front and
gives a wave.
That's your mag colleague Santo's clause. If I'm not mistaken,
I asked.
Papa Noel to share some of his stories so you
can see something. Your mom isn't as messed up as
you think, because the world isn't as pure as you think.
The group claps as Angel gets behind the lectern.
I'm not going to understand him anyway.
It's okay, he said. His niece agreed to translate.
Angel whistles over to the children. Maria Maria Mataki, Maria ten,
the most darling little kid ever hustles over.
See beyond head.
Maria smiles super excited. Jake is still on edge. Series
of shots, Maria translates Angel's story. As Maria translates for Angel,
she playfully acts out what she says. Her vivid language
and dicktion is very startling. Maria listens, then pretends to
steal something.
Wow, panola cosa is down being male. You don't bembo
ratch oleando tolo.
When things were bad, I was a real boozhound sniffing
out vulnerable bodegas.
All over town.
Maria listens, done pretends to whisper a lie.
Lementie do mono le me ti ma tira man tira.
Lementi ma.
I lied to everyone.
My lies led to more lies. I even lied to
myself about how I felt about things.
You ever guilty of that? I want to hear some
character flaws. By the end, Jake doesn't look up for it.
Maria listens, then pretends to fight me boys the lat.
You may we local.
Report.
Then he has sangris and las manos sangst understanding understone
pedaueno and a masculs latter yees see if let pegge
no Filippino.
My bag of cans was stolen by a Filipino man
named Lou I snapped blacked out because of rage and
discount gin when I can.
When I came to, there was blood on my hands.
My cans were gone, but there were seventy dollars in
my pocket, far more than what the cans were worth,
but roughly the street value of an unlucky Filipino corpse.
Real listens then gyrates awkwardly. Oh you doing me?
Oh we can we you're doing me in the lavasa
they have enda. They now kne me Marta.
I conceive my baby daughter in a porn store dumpster.
Maria listens, then pretends to be a kiddy, licks her paw.
Make me gato well, I ate a cat spie.
Maria listens, then squats and strains her face.
Make again, and then picture's mound. I love lilys Kira,
Make again.
I pooped on the leeward side of a picture's mount.
Maria listens, then translates angels closing remarks.
Betosi Bremi and naiaserricopea solo me familia Stachi.
Let's get out of They tell us that no one
recovers in isolation. My family is there for me.
Thank you.
Karl is deeply affected by these words as the group collaps.
You just saw step five right there. Have the integrity
to own your shit. Otherwise head to the lube emporium
because it's just pointless moral masturbation aka, don't be a bitch.
Jake feels put on the spot.
This isn't fair. I don't see what some crazy drunk
has to.
Do with me. You seriously can't own one weakness?
What about you? You're nothing but weakness. I'm the sad one.
You can't keep going until you grow some balls and
name some false.
I don't care about you and your stupid doctor's so
stunding steps. How am I supposed to learn something from
someone who's more effed up than me?
Carl considers slowly nods as he realizes his move. I'll
show you.
Jake is surprised when Carl answers with action. Carl stands,
hands the notebook to Jake and heads to the front.
Pola me nombre is, Carl, I really don't know where
to start. Hey, that's one good thing about drinking. You
don't even remember a lot of bad shit. Yeah, not funny.
I want to talk about step six and seven.
Jake sees his father struggling.
When someone's always upset with you, you protect yourself and think, no,
there's got to be something majorly wrong with them. It's
the most selfish, dickhead thing you can do, especially to family,
your wife, your mom, anyone you love.
Jake sees himself in this looks down, ashamed, and that's
where these two steps come in, and ask do you
believe someone can change?
Because if you don't, there's no point. Just stop. Sorry,
this is my first time up here. I couldn't do
it before. I guess that's proof of small change. No, actually,
I couldn't do anything before. Finishing one step was impossible,
let alone twelve. I said I did.
But Jake leaves the notebook and heads for the exit.
I thought I could fix things now if I told
a small lie about back then.
Jake begins to run as he bursts through the doors
outside exterior Officina in Tregupal, Espana, day. Carl exits to
see Jake jump on the bike and ride away. Wait fuck,
Carl runs after him, notepick in hand. Exterior town Street's day.
Jake pedals as fast as he can, but the busted
front wheel keeps Carl within shouting distance. Jake, I'm sorry
you lie to us.
You're exactly the same.
Jake picks up speed on a hill and begins to
pull away until the faulty wheel buckles and he.
Goes flying, landing hard.
Carl races over, but Jake pushes away any aid or comfort.
Fuck off, loser.
They sit collecting their breath and their thoughts.
So you don't care about anything if you just get
drunk all the time.
When I drink, I don't get drunk. I get normal,
then I get drunk.
Staying normal makes you drunk. That doesn't make sense.
Sometimes you drink just to forget your drinking. None of
it makes sense.
Jake is absorbing this when he notices something on his bike.
You guys spelt healthy wrong also mountain. Good job kneeling
bike though, Yeah.
That'd be me. It was my job to stens all
the words. I was a bit too sloshed for more
than that.
Moms pray painted bee.
Yeah we actually ran out of paint Christmas. Even your
mother runs into the night and somehow insanely she returns
with cans from where she wouldn't say, But the next
morning I noticed your bike had the same color schemes
the robes of Mary and Joseph. Next door.
The Nativity scene, Mom stoles spray paint from the neighbors.
Jake limbs over picks up his bike to assess the damage.
Unstealing them was actually way harder. Ended up mailing them back.
Can you do that?
Male aerosol cans No, No, that would be her second
felony of the story. She really wanted you to have
that bike.
Jake on twists bent handlebars to find a detached brake line.
Some of what you set up bear sun it right,
Like when you said you're a selfish dickhead.
I'm glad that landed the part about me being terrible.
No, because I've been like that too.
Like I'm with Mo.
Yeah, you don't become better if you're chasing some pham bullshit.
It could be called selfish dicay behavior.
Jake looks up to see Carl holding a pen up
to step four. So I'm hearing you say you were
wrong about something.
Yeah, for sure.
Carl crosses off step four, puts the pen to step five, and.
You're owning it.
Jay, screw this out. I just got to get right
with mom.
Carl crosses off step five.
So are we still doing this? Jake nods, but when
Carl goes in for a hug, Jake stops him. But
there's a condition. If you're gonna help me, you got
to let me help you.
Jake pulls a liquor bottle from Carl's jacket pours it out.
God, it pains me to watch that. You have a deal.
Jake moves to good Carl a big hug, but hold on.
Carl pulls a half pint from his sock tosses it
into the woods. Again, Jake moves to give Carl a
big hug, but one more Carl pulls a tequila Mini
from the fold of his elf hat. Again, Jake moves
to give Carl a big hug, but almost done, Carl
pulls yet another mini from inside the other sock.
Sort of losing the impulse to hug you here.
That's it, I'm unarmed. Carl opens his arms, defenseless, boozless.
They hug.
Interior, Red Apartment, living Room, day Jack decorates the tree
looks Jesus, I'm a big Jack Nicholson fan. Interior redepartment
living Room, day Jake decorates the tree looks over at Ashley.
I'm almost done over here. You're gonna do your side.
Ashley's half is barely touched. She sits depressed and detached.
It worries Jake.
I think we still have enough time, like before the
AMMA comes. If that's what's wrong, I just haven't been
able to sleep, even though I'm exhausted. I only have
a few hours before I leave. Your schedule's nuts covering
somebody else's shift. She helped me out a few days
ago when I needed to leave, so oh when you
had to pick me up. It's a full so I'll
be back around two or three.
Ashley's depression makes her hard to read. Interior Carl's apartment
living room night, Jake Don's the Higher Elf hat. Carl
is sprawled out on the couch in a cold sweat.
These withdrawals her.
Hell Higher Elf commands sit up forget me focus on
your mom. You said six and seven are about believing
a person can change. I'm only asking you for one
amends to prove it to me. Shouldn't you already have
a listen here?
Oh?
Here we go.
H Carl shoots up and lunges for Jake, but he
plays keep awake, immense compensate to Haitian whor NAHEMI repay
Alex for whiskey horrors.
I think at the top of fifty three you might
have said, repay Alex or whiskey horrors, and it's horrors,
so we can just get that case.
Hors Yeah, yeah, repay Alex for whiskey horrors. Apologize to
the Polish community of East Saint Louis.
Carl yanks the notebook away and looks at his old list.
Apologize to Ronnie because of that thing with his sister.
Most of these are expired.
If I can't make excuses, neither can you.
Do you think they want that me busting in while
they decorate the tree? Hey, ron haven't seen you in
a decorated decorated Do you think they want that me
busting in while they decorate the tree? Hey, ron, I
haven't seen you in a decade. Sorry about that thing
with your sister. Man, you should have seen the list
she ended up on.
No one needs that.
How about this? Why do you have to go to jail?
Carl doesn't want to answer, but needs to. Telecommunications fraud
tell a calm. Fraud, as we call it in the.
Streets, seriously like robocos.
Yeah, but I wasn't swindling old ladies out of their
tithing money. I only hit bad people, and my scams
were all fake. Carl takes off his shirt to wipe
flop sweat off his face. I'd think of the most
despicable shit, I could, really repulsive stuff, and then I'd
offer a chance to get in on the action. You
can't even call them victims.
That's bool.
What could be so bad?
Not see gold do anything for you? That's the one
I got busted for gold Booleon exchange traded funds invest
now for huge guaranteed returns. Oh and they also got
a free boat.
Why the boat?
Always offer a boat? People love modes.
Carl chugs water, painfully battling his withdrawal.
Uh.
My PO thinks there was more than one scam, but
he can't prove it. It drives him crazy. I just
never left any evidence.
How'd you get caught in?
One night? I was drunk. I fucked up somehow. Instead
of having a nice wide range like always, all calls
went local. A couple of thousand towns people got an
identical call about Himmler and the ultra low four percent
premium on wartime loot.
Just like a Cayman Islands thing.
No, it's too obvious. They expect an offshot. Count instead,
do the opposite. Lichten Boy, Instead, do the opposite Liechtenstein.
Enclosed by an entire continent on all sides. I got
a guy there.
Carl picks up a and smells it. Throws an old
cold forty five tea with Billy D Williams, promising it
works every time.
I'm not sure we found our amends yet.
Start small, my disciple, What do you do with all
the money?
Carl doesn't want to say, but.
Exterior Abes Liquor Locker bar night, Jake and Carl stand
in front of a dive bar. Carl doesn't wear his
Santa hat or beard.
Wow, you blew it all at a place called Abe's
Liquor Locker.
A lot of memories here. They're all blank, but I
recall there were a lot of them.
Carl opens the door, but stops Jake from following, considering
the tidbits I do remember, you should probably wait outside.
No way, I'm your sponsor here, turen off.
Carl holds the door, but Jake stops to question him.
By the way, no beard, no hat.
Blue around here. Used to seeing me all scraggly, never
clean shaven like now it'll totally throw them.
Oh and this, Carl slaps on a Yamaka, who's that
smooth jew?
Ain't Carl, that's for sure.
Carl follows Jake inside interior Abe's liquor locker bar night.
It's dark and smells like stale beer, drunk barfly. Mike
looks just like Carl in fifteen years.
Calls over, Hey, hey, hey, Carl, what's up?
Man?
Hey, Hey, my man, what's good? How's that shit with
your landlord going?
Mike groan so drunk he struggles to keep his head up.
Mike, Hey, mikeie, he's a shy, he's an introvert.
Jake is alarmed to see Carl's Natural Environment owner and
operator Abe seventy folks Hee seen it all? Is behind
the bar melting last night's I swell when he notices Carl.
Carl, good to see you, my friend.
Oh look at you.
You look like hell.
You do seem far more upright than normal, less surly perhaps,
seventh and Coke. Sorry, it's last night's ice, but I'm
guessing you don't mind terribly.
Carl's reflects is strong, but he looks at Jake and resists.
Thanks, but no, and it's not the ice.
Abe is puzzled, then notices Jake.
Hey, what's with a kid?
He can't be it here?
I mentor him big brother type thing.
One of those deals for kids without a father. I
can't imagine you'd be much improvement. And he didn't know
what they were doing. I've turned over a new leaf
since Wednesday. Yes, Wednesday, it was a pivotal hump day.
A lot can happen on a WEDNESDA.
You don't even remember, do you.
Carl does not, And that drink looks really good.
Hell, you challenged each person in the place, shouted that
they were wasting their lives.
Drinking it away.
As such, I'm the only one willing to fight for more.
You kept yelling that you really wanted to fight someone.
He were swinging like a madman.
That's sort of why I'm here. I want to apologize
for stuff. I'm not sure how I've watched you for
years now.
I swear to God, you pick fights just to lose them.
Carl motions for Abe to shut up in front of
jac Hey, that's right, you're a real asshole.
I remember now, you're a real.
And a real piece of shit.
Carl turns to find a resurgent mikey inches from his
face and.
I'm sorry if we fought I this is your old man.
Jake blows their cover to defend his day.
Yeah, what if.
Well, he's a real asshole.
He's a real.
And real, a real piece of shit.
Yeah, and he's a bitch and worthless.
He's a punk ass drown sounds exactly right.
Actually, even he knows you're a fuck dodge.
That's not all. He's scraggly. He drinks away the bad
and the good. He can barely stand straight most of
the time. What else, No friends, has a meaningless life
right and smells like drippy fartsu Yeah, exactly. The thing
is he's changed now, tell them, well, shit.
Things are different now. Yeah, I mean I'm sober now.
He was shocked. Mike is defensive. Uh you you think
you're better than me? Fucking sober? You're not better than me?
Where are the sand hey man? So don't fucking forget it.
The same.
So he's just like you, and you just described all
the ways he was.
A total loser. Mike is twisted, around.
He was like that, and to be honest, I literally
just started describing you. That's how bad he was, as
bad as being you.
Before anyone reacts, Abe slides Carl's drink down the bar.
Oh, mikey, you weren't even here that night, go drink that.
Shut the hell up.
Mike SLINKs away, collapses back onto a bar stool.
So you said you want to apologize, but I don't
know how. Try this.
Just say it.
Tell me you're sorry then what for?
Okay, sorry for being a flake or an asshole and
whatever else? On and off. For much of the past decade.
Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when
to do so would injure them or others.
Not as easy as it sounds. Twenty years sober, seriously,
but a men's more than just words.
You got to stick to shit.
So get the fuck out. Happy to see you go,
Harry Christmas.
Carl appreciates the moment he and Jake head out.
Oh you're Jewish now too?
When did that happen?
I told you it was the hell of a Wednesday, man.
Why am Abe watches them go?
Interior Carl's apartment living room night Carl is altering his
elf jacket, tailoring it and cutting off frills. Jake sits
racking his brain. You need the mother of all amends.
What do you do for the woman who carried you
around inside her for nine months and then all that
other stuff? Since?
How is she?
She's been super depressed before, she was totally freaking out
about impressing Grandma. Now it's like she doesn't care.
Does she ever just tell you what would make her happy?
You don't talk much. She's at work, or she's mad
at me because I ruined another day?
Jake reflects, before having a light bulb moment.
That's it.
She always wishes for it out loud. I just wish
I could have one nice day.
Jake stands, excited. Carl completes it.
One nice day where nothing goes wrong and no one
gets upset.
It sounds so easy, but we always fuck it up.
This is true, This will be different. I'll give her
one nice day tomorrow on Christmas Eve.
Jake deflates and sits back down.
How the ef am I going to do that?
What does she yell at you for? She's probably directly
letting you know what she wants.
Huh, that never occurred to me before. It's a lot
of small things. I guess you think that stuff matters.
What do you think?
Yeah, maybe a lot. Actually I can start super early.
After she leaves for.
Work, they share an awkward moment wondering the same thing.
I guess I won't need this snazzy jacket now.
No, I can still come over. It won't take all
day if I'm fast. We still have steps to finish, right.
Of course we do.
You're still super fucked up, right, Jake nods as serious,
of course, before laughing.
Interior, Red apartment kitchen morning. Jake enters while Ashley runs
through her morning routine.
You're up early.
Christmas Eve, biggest day on the Christmas food drive calendar.
I'll see you later tonight. Dinner with Grandma is going
to be late, so grab a snack or something, okay, Mom?
Ashley heads out. Jake springs into action montage. Jake gives
Mom one nice day and Carl struggles. Jake at home,
Using Ashley's to do.
List from the car, he cleans.
Everything using all the products Ashley bought. He changes the
sheets poorly, does laundry also poorly. He launches into decorating
the hell out of the place he sees one item
remains Baby Jesus Christ. He stands in front of the
neighbor's nativity scene. Mary and Joseph are indeed enrobed in
the same colors as his bike. He steals Baby Jesus
from the manger and replaces him with a red Sox
Era David Wells Bobblehead.
Carl's apartment.
Carl opens Deal with Cravings on his addiction recovery phone
app follows the list of uncarl like recommendations. Eat healthy.
He throws out all his food, order something healthy. One
bite and he gags, tosses it and orders pizza. Learn
a hobby. He finds a guitar and smiles. Loads yengwee,
I'm sorry.
How do you say.
Sorry?
Yingwey mom Stein loads Yungway mom Stein Ray Master Series
Instructional VHS epically fails to follow the poodle haired swede
in purple blouse meditate. He tries to focus with eyes closed,
but there's a game on TV, then a sell alert
from hornhob then a call.
He watches TV next to a now broken guitar.
Talk to a loved one.
He thinks a moment man skips it.
He closes the app and check his porn Hub alert Instead.
Jake's apartment, Jake sits with broken pieces of the ceramic
Santa statue. With a determined look, he unscrews a tube
of superglue. He has some success with his painstaking reconstruction,
but it collapses over and over and over it breaks
into pieces. He's blitz by aggravation and he wants to erupt,
but he gathers himself and begins again every time. Interior
Carl's Apartment, Living Room Day, Jordan enters to find an organized,
spotless apartment.
This is different. This place actually looks.
Habitable, no praiseworthy even we'll see not exactly the response
of his expecting expect less.
Carl trails Jordan around as he makes his appraisal.
I'm glad you have family visiting. I can teach you
the true meaning of Christmas. Prickly pair ha bullshit, bah, humbug,
that's you. You're just like Scrooge. What you said humbug. Literally,
the translation for the word humbug is bullshit.
Ah.
The family dragged me to Stephen's Park yesterday. I despise
that place, and with them around, I feel guilty about it.
I feel wicked, like it's a crime for me to
hate Christmas cheer Steven's Park.
What a great idea, couldn't you feel? How excited the
kids were, some vicarious mirth.
You have no idea how jolly they get. It's absolutely
crushing me. Used to be just me and Carol. You
know she loved Christmas?
No, hell no, she hated Christmas more than me.
O God, who's heaving? We would just be together, aggressively,
not celebrating.
Carl still tails Jordan, hopefully and proud of his apartment.
Jordan sees Carl's cut up, self tailored elf jacket.
What happened there?
Carl shrinks? Search us for a lie, you know, fashion
and stuff, new look for today's modern elf.
That's so still have the job or you just walk
out again?
No response, Carl, How the hell can you be so
self serving and so self destructive all at once?
Jordan marks the list and tosses Carl's copy on.
The floor for your records.
Humbug exterior Stephen's Park entrance night. Jake and Carl approach
the holiday excitement of the big annual Stephens Park Christmas Festival.
Welcome to step two, but instead of finding the Holy Spirit,
your step is believe in the motherfucking spirit of Christmas.
Steven's Park. I've hated this place since I was a kid.
Didn't feel the spirit then, really did? I?
Still?
Jake follows as Carl heads in exterior Stephens Park. Inside
night a big celebration. The park is full of lights,
music and kiddie rides.
The whole town is there. In World War One, the
Western Front suddenly went silent, no guns firing, no death.
Why the Germans began decorating their trench with candles and
wishing the English and Merry Christmas. The Brits sang back
the first no Well, the crowds performed Silent night. Enemy
soldiers emerged, met no man's land to drink and celebrate.
Carl loves this story. Jake has heard him tell it before.
That's the Christmas Truce of nineteen fourteen, spontaneously springing up
from nothing but death, mustard, gas and trench foot. So
if you can't feel the Christmas spirit in this place,
and I have truly failed. Ticket Girl seventeen working the
entrance stops Carl, Sir, we ask that.
You take off the Senna hat, but you don't want
to make anyone uncomfortable.
She points to a sign Santa's hat is one of
many forbidden Christmas symbols. Then she points to a banner
above secular Winter Solstice celebration. Carl takes off his hat
as he realizes they totally stripped away Christmas. No red
and green, no Elves, no Rudolph volunteers wear shirts with
the pagan moon goddess on them.
What they do to the Christmas magic? Carl is incredulous.
He swigs on a bottle of soda he carries.
I guess they're sort of with me on the whole
spirit thing.
Carl is in denial. He spots a bake sale and
rushes over whatever. Who needs decorations? A bakes is chalk
full of Christmas spirit, but no nuts, gluten or sugar.
What the hell's left after that?
A more nourishing alternative, that's what?
No, No, this should be chocolate chips, snowball and sugar cookies.
Damn it, the loud and proud cookies that don't hide
what they're about.
You got healthier snacks now because of childhood obesity.
But isn't that just fat shaming?
Honestly we've shock of these thinks.
This made Carl steps away and drinks his soda in
a way that makes us suspect the truth.
It's half liquor.
Relax, you're just on edge because you're not drinking.
No, this is important. You don't get it.
I remember it coming before I get it.
No.
No, every Christmas is new and totally unique. The whole
season is a big reset. There's nothing else like it.
That's the Christmas spirit. It's about hope. Carl can barely
handle it. He is chugging more soda and he spots
in the shadows. A spidery structure looms Hosanna in the
fucking highest. Carl approaches.
It's an old kitty carnival swing ride.
Oh wow, too bad it's not running.
Oh, it will just need some juice. I know you
remember the Rudolph ride.
Yeah, you puked me when I was eight.
Carl walks around the ride, inspecting the base bit too
much eggnog with my whiskey that day.
Don't you mean the opposite?
No, it was just a cup of whiskey. I'd have
been fine. Twas the night of too much nog.
Jake notices clean cut humdrum Dad. Carl's age there with
his wide eyed daughter eight. They don't know what to
make of Carl.
Do you know what's up with this? Well? Yeah, it
was our favorite. They shut her down last year. He's right,
it's not operated. Just need some juice.
Carl triumphantly hoist thick wires running to the ride.
Christmas is magical if you make it, you gotta want it.
The spirit works if you work it.
Carl spots a large green pad mounted utility box.
Heads over there.
We go, one of those big green box things. Shit,
it's locked. Well, I hope. So there's a power distribution
transformer in there, of course, yeah, exactly, well, perfect power
distribution transformer.
You really shouldn't touch that if you don't know what
you're doing.
You got ground wire for the whole park running through
that thing. Carl has pulled up some sort of how
to article on his phone. Damn, straight round wire. That's
what's called the primary high voltage.
Did you know that?
Humdrum Dad and white eyed daughter give Jake a nervous look.
This doesn't seem like standard wiring. That's okay, Just strip
off the top thingy piggyback bear of wires under our plug.
Here, Carl whiffs out an impressive pocket knife and strips wires.
This really isn't worth it.
Christmas isn't always blow your mind amazing. Sometimes you just
got to buckle in and enjoy the rickety holiday ride.
Carl has created a jumble of exposed wires. What are
we celebrating here? I only remember bad shit, like you
and mom fighting. Something always went wrong, So.
Just stop it.
Carl strips the large, powerful ground wire. That's exactly why
we need to do this. It's absolutely about getting this
up and running. Jake softens.
Let me make amends. This is one bad memory we
can fix.
Carl studies his hand and concentrates as he gets ready
to give it that joice cut too. Throughout the park,
lights surge dim and flicker, flashing in and out. At
the bakesale, children and parents look around confused. At the
entrance ticket girl Fields, concerned, looks under a parking lot light,
leaning on his cruiser. Officer Schmolla fifty bloated is a
law looks out and sees a small explosion on the
far side of the park. Before bright Christmas glory, the
Rudolph Ride.
Lights up the sky.
Rudolph Ride Carl's clothes are smoking and his Santa Beard
burned off, exposing his face. He's in a great shock,
rattled but wired.
Who by juice, you should be dead. I'm fine, I'm
possessed by the spirit. No, you are severely electrocuted. I'm
gonna go get help Wooden Boddy.
She points up at Rudolph, brightly lit with nose so bright.
Throughout the park.
Children start flocking to the bright red and green lights.
Officer Schmola heads over with them to investigate Rudolph ride.
Carl jumps onto the control platform.
No music. He used to play Christmas music, remember. Jake
spots a switch behind a locked cage.
I might have it, but it's locked, he thinks, then
kicks until it breaks open like Carl did.
Got it? Children excitedly rush to get on the ride.
Fuck it.
Humdrum humdrum. Dad helps his thrill daughter onto a swing.
Not bad, right, Jake smiles, feeling the Christmas energy.
You know, if you get on this ride, then you
can cross off step two.
Jake smiles and runs to the last open swing. The
ride begins, playing an instrumental twelve Days of Christmas. Carl
takes a triumphant swig of soda, Dun's is Santa Hat
and begins belting his own lyrics, forced into the melody.
On the first step of Christmas, my true love gave
to me a portrage a pear tree. For some reason,
Jake buckles himself in. On the second step of Christmas,
my po said to me, in this cup you must bee,
and here are a couple more partridges.
Carl starts the ride, but before Jake is out of earshot.
On the third step of Chris, miss my child gave
to me a second fine.
Oh chance, Jake hides his face and embarrassment, but is
cracking up.
On the fourth step of Chris, miss.
My body gave to me shakes like Aly talk Mbam Mohammad,
and three more goddamn partridges.
The ride goes full tilted children Love, Carl singing.
On the fifth step of Relapse, a Boozehound gave to
me boo and he was like, you're gonna need this
because here's more partridges, Buddy partridges. Jake takes it all
in the ride, music lights and Carl Jake has to
smile kid like.
Affected by Christmas cheer, Carl speaks from the controls to
someone on the ground.
Fine traditional lyrics. From now on.
It's Officer Shmola he's talking to, and he is not amused.
Shut it off and come on down. He decent man,
have some holidays. Cheer you guys want me to stop
the ride.
Jake is flying by on his swing when he sees
Carl talking to a cop. His joy is replaced with
familiar disappointment. I think you're drunk pot rules.
When you wear a Santa hat, you're not drunk, you're jolly.
Jake can only see what's happening when he passes on
the swing. Each time he does, things look worse. Carl
hops down and Officer Shmala moves to detain him.
We've done this before, Carl.
When you refuse to surrender the pavilion for the Lilac.
Stable doesn't sound like me. I must have a good reason.
Jake jumps from the moving ride and runs over in
times to see Officer Shmalla reaches in Carl's jacket and
pulls out a bottle of vodka, then opens the soda
bottle and sniffs.
We're right over here.
Come on, let's go.
You're not serious, Officer Shmaala takes Carl away, passing Jake.
I'm sorry.
Humdrum Dad shuts off the ride. The lights go dark
and the music goes silent. As Carl is led away,
Jake is left alone exposed. Noticed we recognize some of
Jake's classmates, including Chad. Hey, Jake, they're taking away your drunk,
homeless friend.
I think that's his fucking dad.
Jake looks around and, like in class before, doesn't see
one kind face again.
They record with their nice phones. Aren't you good to
freak out?
Freak?
Jake doesn't fight, He blocks it out and pushes past everyone.
What's wrong?
Where's your Christmas spirit?
Now?
Jake snaps, He turns and charges so emotionally attacks the
wrong kid starts beating on Chad's friend number three.
Chad peels him off.
Jake stands ready to fight them all, and he tries
swinging like a madman. But one guy can't beat three,
and they start getting some good shots in. Jake falls
back onto the ground, hitting the legs of an intervening adult.
He looks up, face dirty and cut to see Principal
McGriff wearing a Moon Goddess volunteer shirt.
This is getting control of yourself.
Jake doesn't have an answer.
Do you have someone to take you home?
Interior police cruiser moving night. Motherly female officer Ashley's age
drives with Jake slouched in the back seat, angry and embarrassed.
Try not to be too upset. It's still Christmas Eve,
after all, I'm not upsets.
The cruisers roll past each other and Jake sees Carl
in the back seat. They manage brief eye contact before
looking away, both in trouble and the shame. Later, Jake
looks out the window as they turned down his street.
Is it yeah that your mom?
Jake sees Ashley getting home. She struggles to open the
door while carrying bags full of groceries for dinner. Interior,
redepartment living room night. Ashley stays by the door, closes
her eyes as she processes.
It's not what you think.
It's not just getting in this kind of trouble, having
a cop bring you home for Christ's sake, with your
grandmother coming later tonight. There's the other thing. Obviously, you
weren't helping at the food drive. You blew it off
for the park.
Jake doesn't know how to answer.
Tell me the truth? For once, I didn't volunteer. Tonight,
I say, I'm in disbelief.
But you can only be shocked so many times before
you realize.
It's just how things are. I never volunteered ever. As
an ever, this whole time, where have you been going?
What have you been doing?
Nothing?
So then all the rest of this stuff, how you've
been acting lately? Is this just an act, some setup
to get a stupid phone out of me?
No, that's not it. What are we doing here?
Who am I raising?
She walks off, not mentioning the decorations or work he did.
Fine, believe what you want? Maybe I really am that bad.
Jake hides his frustrated tears as he wipes them away. Later,
Jake places the reconfigured ceramic Santa statue on an end
table near Ashley napping. He covers her with the blanket,
then grabs his coat and sneaks out into the night
and act too
All right,