The Audacity! | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for joining us today. As always, we are so excited to be here. How are you doing today, Susan.

00:00:16
Speaker 2: I'm getting there, trying to heal, and I'm so glad to be back here today answering all of the fan questions that we get. Don't you enjoy those, guys?

00:00:26
Speaker 1: I love it. I love hearing the updates. I love hearing I know what people are up to. I love it when we get compliments.

00:00:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's always a good thing. And so everybody, make sure you keep submitting those because we enjoy and love reading them, giving you advice, hearing your feedback, and you know how to do it right. Just go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.

00:00:52
Speaker 1: And don't forget we want to hear from you everything, your questions, your updates, all of it. You can also DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. We do really want to hear from you.

00:01:04
Speaker 2: And Kathy, there you go, we'd get d ms then.

00:01:10
Speaker 1: I never thought about it that way. Soon I just.

00:01:12
Speaker 2: As Okay, okay, let's get into today's episode and we're going to start with the question of the day. Here we got all right, you ready? Cat? When was time you felt backstabbed by a loved one or a friend? And what did the relationship look like after? And how did you personally move on from it?

00:01:41
Speaker 1: Okay, only funny things come to our mind, I know, just just funny. Oh man, I don't have an answer for that one backstab by a loved one.

00:01:54
Speaker 2: I one came right, Tom. I know I've been taught to forgive, and I think it's been twenty years. I don't know if I forgave.

00:02:09
Speaker 1: Well, let me help you. I'll be the priestest today. Let me help you. What do you need forgiveness for?

00:02:14
Speaker 2: I have moved on from it, But as far as ever speaking to that person, she's not in my life. So it was ugly and.

00:02:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you going to tell me? You're not going to tell me.

00:02:30
Speaker 2: No, it just consider it something that.

00:02:32
Speaker 1: So the relationship is over.

00:02:35
Speaker 2: Oh it's been over. Yeah, it was really ugly. But I don't understand the difference between forgiving them and letting go. I've let go, like when you let people go to jail, like you know, or they killed somebody, and parents forgive the person like in a car accident or something.

00:02:56
Speaker 1: You know, what I'm saying, right, I think I don't know. I think for me, I can forgive people, but I often have trouble forgetting.

00:03:07
Speaker 2: Forgetting. Yes, well, I never forget.

00:03:09
Speaker 1: Right, So but I think I think when something happens to me that I need to forgive, I always go back and say to myself, who has the power here? If I don't forgive that person and move on, it's hurting me. It's not hurting that person.

00:03:30
Speaker 2: It takes up your energy the thought of it.

00:03:33
Speaker 1: Yes, so that's why I try to forget. If it's hard sometimes to forget, but you know, I really try going back.

00:03:41
Speaker 2: Reading this again, it says a loved one or a friend. It could have been a relationship like people out there. I'm sure the man cheated on you that that's hurtful.

00:03:52
Speaker 1: Right, I don't think that's back that's not well not to me.

00:03:58
Speaker 2: A secret is just telling telling me.

00:04:01
Speaker 1: If I said to you, Susan, I don't want you to tell anyone this, swear to me you won't, and that to me, that's backstabbing. If you call up Nancy or something you know, well, that's different. That's what I'm saying. If you purposely do something to diminish me as a person that's backstabbing.

00:04:27
Speaker 2: Have you ever backstabbed anybody? I don't think.

00:04:30
Speaker 1: Oh, I just did you a couple of days ago.

00:04:32
Speaker 2: What she's lucky she's in Texas.

00:04:36
Speaker 1: That was too easy. You walked into the one I I don't. I don't knowingly backstab people. I think it sometimes. Oh I'd like to tell this person, but I really try not to do it, because you know, at the end of the day, it's not really kind. And you know, I want to be thought of as a kind person. I think I am a kind person.

00:05:00
Speaker 2: So you are a kind person. And how you move on from it? And for me, that means time because time heals.

00:05:09
Speaker 1: Well, no forgiveness heals forgiveness sales, Yeah, I don't. Yeah, you struggle with that, but I don't. I think once I made the decision to forgive, then I forgive them.

00:05:21
Speaker 2: Is that the same of letting it go? Let things go?

00:05:26
Speaker 1: I have let many things go with friends I have been if something's happened, the friendship may change, but I've let it go, meaning I'm not going to harbor it. Inviting, Yeah, it's forgiving. I'm not going to harbor it and and say mean things. I'm going to let it go and live my life and be happy, because if I don't, I'm just giving away my power. I'm giving away my positivity to somebody or something else, and I'm just not doing that.

00:05:55
Speaker 2: And holding on to negative energy.

00:05:57
Speaker 1: So, Susan, when I backstab you again next week, I want you to remember I love you and my relationship with you is really important in our friendship. But you know I may backstab you next week.

00:06:07
Speaker 2: Just do the front step so I could see it coming. Please get me all right?

00:06:11
Speaker 1: So we are going to get into our fan questions today, which you and I always love doing. Please keep him coming, folks. I'm going to read the first one and let's see what we have here. Okay, hi, ladies, I need to vent lol. I've been with my boyfriend for about five months. I'm in college and he's been out of school for a few years. I always drive to see him because he doesn't have a car, which I was fine with for a while, but I finally got him to come visit me for once. I was so excited, but the second he met my friends, he started drinking to calm the nerves and completely embarrassed me. I had a whole day planned with my roommates, and he just made an ass out of himself, and in his drunken state, he told me that his X reached out to him and it stressed him out. He swore he left her on red and just wanted me to know. I was like, okay, thanks for telling me. But I noticed him acting weird after that, so I checked his phone. Turns out he was planning on facetiming her that night once he got a chance. Annoying. That is not how I would describe it, but okay anyway, Yeah, so my question is this, how do I break up with this man? Susan? Can we just stop the question for a second, ask I break up? Anytime I've mentioned a break he sobs and begs, to the point where I feel so uncomfortable and trapped. I don't even know how to put it into words. How do I get through his victim complex and break this off for good? I've been so done with this relationship and this was the final straw. Help me get the message across him. Please please, please, Thanks, ladies, Susan, Let's say it together.

00:07:57
Speaker 2: This is a no brainer.

00:08:00
Speaker 1: One two three dump him him now or yesterday?

00:08:07
Speaker 2: Let's go back. So why did he need to calm the nurse because he's meeting his girlfriend's friends, who stress is about that?

00:08:19
Speaker 1: Some people get nervous about me and other people. However, you and I can safely say this question has so many inherent problems. Number one, Well, getting drunk, you know, is it just brings all sorts of problems. Anyway, he's clearly a cheater, right, Well, he's gonna.

00:08:37
Speaker 2: Be planned to chat with her on FaceTime. So the drunk ass, stupid ass told her about this message. First problem. But what she's asking us is how do I get this message? You don't have to do anything? Block is this? It's over.

00:08:53
Speaker 1: It's over, big boy, Susan, I don't know who this is. We're gonna call you anonymous Susan and I are going to role play. Don't break up with.

00:09:03
Speaker 2: Me, sweetie. Listen to me. Listen to me, learn from this. Okay, this is not normal. You don't do these things and lie about it. I'm guilty for looking at your phone. And there's a reason I look because you're fucking guilty. Move on, forget me.

00:09:20
Speaker 1: That is what I know.

00:09:21
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it like that.

00:09:22
Speaker 1: You know what I would see that was way too many words. And you who always say keep it short, less is more, lessons more, you know what I would say, Let's say the guy's name is Joe, Joe, I've been an idiot taking you back, not this time by don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, and it'd be gone. And I think, Anonymous, you might need to get a little bit of help here because you don't want to be with him, but you take him back. I think you may have some self esteem issues or something else going on here.

00:09:53
Speaker 2: And she says, help me get the message across.

00:09:56
Speaker 1: We're helping her.

00:09:57
Speaker 2: What helped you need? Their words? Tell him straight up? What part do you need help? You want to do it?

00:10:05
Speaker 1: Yeah? Really give us this number. We'll call him. You're done, you're out. And you know what, Anonymous, once you dump his ass, it's going to open your brain and your heart to better, healthier relationships if you do the work, if you figure out why you kept taking him back. I mean, when we get these questions, Susan, I'm always like, what is not being said or what's behind the words?

00:10:31
Speaker 2: Yes? And Kathy, you know me with the empathy thing like it takes me forever to break up with the guy so I can relate. However, everybody comes into your life for a reason, a season, you know the saying, and it's just time to accept You're not happy with this behavior. So you could say as kindly as you like or as mean as you like, but say it.

00:10:57
Speaker 1: But when she says she feels trapped, I'm like, she's I don't know there's a word for it, and I can't think of it right now, because she's trapping herself. Like he's not setting a trap. She's going for a SOB story. She's got some self esteem issues. Maybe she's afraid to be alone. I don't know.

00:11:14
Speaker 2: This whole question that you sent to us, and thank you for doing so, is not about him. It's about you, Yes, and that's what we want you to deal with. Look in the mirror, talk to yourself, get it out and say I'm better than this and I deserve better than this.

00:11:31
Speaker 1: That's right, And you know what, sometimes it's hard to say those things. If I were me, I would keep it short, anonymous and just say I'm done, and then I'd spend time. I are you agree, I'd well, I'd call I would get some help you know, a friend, a therapist, somebody say, he help me figure out why I kept jumping back into this, but I wouldn't waste a lot of words with him.

00:11:55
Speaker 2: And just a few weeks ago, I don't know, a month ago, I was having a yucky kind of day. And you're the one that said, did you look at the mirror this morning and say, I am right, I am worth it, I am lovable, I love That's right? You know, positive affirmation.

00:12:10
Speaker 1: Yes, I really believe that's true. And there's something in this girl's life where she does something she deserves it, or she's not living her positive best life something, So Anonymous, get after it. We are gonna send you positive vibes. Get it done, and then get some help to figure out why you kept this complete fool in your life.

00:12:33
Speaker 2: And even though he cries, yes, you feel bad for him, but you're helping him in the long run. You guys are in college, you have a whole life. Yet now's when you learn. Now is when you do this and you move on from it.

00:12:47
Speaker 1: Susan, she's been with this guy five months. The ink on the ink on the first love letters barely dry.

00:12:56
Speaker 2: And she drove all the time.

00:12:59
Speaker 1: So many red flags. Get rid of him. Let us know. We're sorry if we sound harsh. It's just that we're old as Methuselah and we know that this is not going to end up well for you. So get rid of him and find a new guy and get some help yourself, and then let us you.

00:13:13
Speaker 2: If you're looking for a release and saying do the right thing, you just got it. Okay, yeah, exactly, Thanks for doing it though, okay, Keath. Question number two, and this one is from Claire. Hi, ladies, I need some advice. I just found out that my ex husband is engaged. Our divorce finalized a month ago. What do I do? I'm honestly distraught. I don't want to be with him anymore. We split do to the typical falling out of love slash terrible to no sex life stuff. But this honestly really hurts to make matters worse. He's in gains to his secretary. Please just tell me some things I need to hear right now. Thank you so much. Okay is damn secretary? You ask?

00:14:11
Speaker 1: Oh, that's not fair, that's not fair.

00:14:15
Speaker 2: Sooner it's a month, obviously, you know where my head at is at. He's been seeing this secretary for quite some time.

00:14:21
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, maybe he has, maybe has not, we don't know. Don't jump to conclusions. I mean, I'm right.

00:14:27
Speaker 2: There was it divorce six years?

00:14:32
Speaker 1: I don't know. But but here's the thing that you were. You took the thought right out of my mouth. We don't know how long they were separated. We don't know any of those things. And maybe cheated, maybe didn't. That's not the point. The question here is, Claire, you're asking what do I do? You don't do anything. You're out of his life.

00:14:53
Speaker 2: So he says, right here, I don't want to be with him.

00:14:57
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if she wants to or not want. They are too Claire, what do I do? Start dating, go out with your girlfriends, take a trip, read a book, take flower arranging, bake a cake, but stop thinking about him because it's over and or two he's moved on. I really don't. I'm sorry, I mean, I don't. I don't mean to sound harsh. I'm sure that it would be hard to hear. And I'm sure you're thinking like Susan did.

00:15:27
Speaker 2: Yes, he's already just we just got to a divorce a minute ago. And so you're probably, but it should only stink for a second because remember, you didn't want to be married to him, right, so sucked.

00:15:42
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, go find some better sex, Claire, you know, go find go find a good time guy for a night. It'll clear your head.

00:15:49
Speaker 2: And I get the typical falling out of love. That that's what happens. I mean, it's not easy. I think marriage it's not just being and love, it's being a partner with somebody. So you weren't partners obviously, so the love part goes away. I know because I lived through it, and the sex ed this is a no brainer. I think it's stung because number one, it was a secretary. At number two, it came immediately after the divorce.

00:16:21
Speaker 1: Well, I would get that, I would say number three, I think what Claire isn't saying. I'm reading a little bit between the lines here. She probably surmising, like you did, Susan, that he went that secretary before, and that's probably what stings, and she just doesn't want to put it down. So Claire, if that's the case, it's sucks too. Exactly if you didn't know, If you still don't know, and.

00:16:46
Speaker 2: Kathy don't some divorces take a few years, so they could have been living their own lives for a couple of years. But because the papers came in and he's engaged, you know what I'm saying. So it could be a lot of things, but you want to hear us. We're telling you it's okay.

00:17:02
Speaker 1: It's okay to feel badly, but again, it's about living positive life. Don't spend your days feeling hurt. Go spend your days doing something positive for yourself that way, you know, Yeah, go do something for you and the hurt. Oh, now we're getting done to it. How much mon? Did you get clear? Come join us for a vacation. We'll make you laugh. But thank you, and I'm really sorry. Yeah, good luck and sorry that you feel that way. Okay. The next question is from Nina. She writes, Hi, Kathy and Susan, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I just found out that my best friend of ten years has been talking shit about me behind my back for our entire friendship. I found out because she sent a message about me to me by accident. Then when I blocked her from viewing my story, that's literally all I did. Lol. She went on a rampage and started making up crazy lies about me to all of our friends. Turns out this isn't the first time she's done that. The biggest lie I was telling every one that I was in rehab when really I was in the hospital dealing with some severe medical issues. My question is this, How do I heal from this? I feel like I can't trust anyone, and I'm spiraling. I'm away at college. She's still in her hometown, so I feel so disconnected from all of my friends there. I don't even know if they are my friends. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

00:18:41
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's sad, you know what. I know she's hurting, but that girl karma's a bit. I feel sorry for her for what life is going to be given her. You don't do things like that. You don't spread lies. It's bad enough if you're going to spread secrets the backstabbing part, but to make up bold face lives. Did I tell you that story? Because I think I did on another podcast when I used to pray that I would develop boobs.

00:19:15
Speaker 3: You know, yes you did at the Splash party and that that thing went out Piccolo stoves and I came out and bar it all, but she's not home to defend herself.

00:19:26
Speaker 2: So do you think she should put out something on social media to embarrass this woman or this girl or.

00:19:33
Speaker 1: Not at all. Here's what I think.

00:19:36
Speaker 2: Simply move on, Nina.

00:19:38
Speaker 1: You're young, you're in college. I get it. It stings. You've obviously known this girl. I'm guessing it's a girl, could be a guy. But you've known this person for ten years, so probably since your teenage years, and to find this out now is brutal. I would say to you, don't. I would not do what Susan said. I would not put anything out on social media. I would not put any negativity out there because negative breeds negative. So if I were you, I would let it go. When you get home from college and Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, summer, whenever it is the next time you see her, I would have a sit down with just her and I would say here's how I feel, this is what you know, blah blah blah. Go through all of it with her and say you really hurt my feelings and I can't believe this happened. Do you want to be my friend, because if you do, you can't do this again. And let me tell you. Wait, I had an experience like this with a very good friend. And I've never told this straight before. I just just in talking about her, it just came back to my mind. I had a very good friend who when she would get worried about me, she would call my kids, and of course, you know, my husband's gone, my kids were my kids are worried about me, right if something happens. And so last time she did this and my kids panicked because they couldn't reach me. I was out playing golf and having dinner and I turned my phone on. Well, they thought I was dead by the side of the road. Anyway, when I called them back, they my children had called them like ten times. I found out she had called all of my children and said, I can't reach Kathy out of nowhere, and she knew where I was by the way. She I don't know why she did it, but I called her and I said, I can tell you it was a guy I was on a date with and she didn't like the guy, so I don't know. So I called her and I said, listen, you cannot ever call my children again.

00:21:43
Speaker 2: You cannot do that.

00:21:45
Speaker 1: I said, if I'm dead by the side of the road. My children will find out if I'm in the hospital, they will contact my children. If you want to be my friend, you can never do this again, can you promise that? And she said no, I can't. I said, our friendship just ended. And okay, I'm just saying it's short and sweet.

00:22:06
Speaker 2: Where my mind's going. When she received the message about her accidentally from this gossipy girl, she says she blocked her. You wouldn't confront right then and there make the phone call like whoa, I'm sure you didn't mean to send that message to me, And why on earth would you be saying.

00:22:29
Speaker 1: Because she's in college.

00:22:32
Speaker 2: If I send you a message and I meant to send it to Nancy, okay, and it was trashing you, You're only going to block me. You're not going to call me it and Susan.

00:22:42
Speaker 1: Susan, I have it. I have a news flash. And I hope everyone's listening very carefully. Neither you nor I, come to think of it, Nancy either we're not in college. We've lived a lot of life. I'm saying I could see it where where Nina might be so hurt that oh I just want I just want to block this. I just want to you know, I want to forget it, but clearly that doesn't work, which is why I suggested sit down with her.

00:23:11
Speaker 2: Mind gotthy can remember when I tried to hold it in when something happened between people we know and I did good for like a week, and they were all on a zoom call together, and.

00:23:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me just say, Susan gives great advice. She doesn't know what's take her, she doesn't know what's follow through. I remember this phone call. I was like, oh my god, can we just say bats Nation needs to hear this. They think Susan is miss sweetness, princess sweet I am, oh, really, you don't have sign of you. That was wrong button exactly.

00:23:49
Speaker 2: I remember they.

00:23:52
Speaker 1: And I have the reputation of being I have a bat at all times, and I'm exactly the opposite. So bachsor Nation figure it out. And anyway, Nina, delivery, It's a delivery, I know, Nina. Here's what I'm recommending that I think Susan would agree, sit down with her when you get home from school. If you can't resurrect, or remediate or repair, I don't know where all those are. Words just came from the friendship. Then it might be over.

00:24:19
Speaker 2: I agreed to appoint Kathy. I wouldn't give her an opportunity to be my friend again. The damage is done, and I personally, as I sit here while you were talking and I'm listening to you, would probably put something out about why I was in the hospital, not saying she said or did anything this friend, and thank you for all your well wishes. I had a severe whatever the problem was, so that the world knew she was there, and then the people I think she was in rehab they might question that friend.

00:24:52
Speaker 1: They might or they might say, oh god, it's true and she's putting up this fake story about being the mostrue. That's why I don't say anything. I don't justify stupid, mean rumors with the response. I just don't. People are gonna believe what they want to believe. Her friend, What do I always say to you? What do I always say to you when we talk about the mean people saying stuff about you.

00:25:13
Speaker 2: And me online? Wearing a bikinias get your negative thoughts thrown at right?

00:25:20
Speaker 1: Who cares what they say? I care what you think of me because you're my friend. But if people who don't know me on the internet, who cares, so Nina, good luck. Let us know if you in fact do repair the friendship.

00:25:34
Speaker 2: Well, can I say one more thing. When you get home and you talk to those other people, not the person, but the other people, you could bring it up and say I was so hurt by that. I can't believe that she told people, and maybe they get some feedback or like, I think we never thought that.

00:25:54
Speaker 1: I think you're pitying. That's I think it's keep it and it's pity. It's like triangulation. You're bringing other people. I just say lessons more. I don't. I'm not gonna.

00:26:04
Speaker 2: I wish I would be more like you and just shut it down.

00:26:07
Speaker 1: I wish I wish I could be more like you and had hair like yours that could try in thirty seconds with the hair dryer. That's what I wish. Moving on, all right, are you ready? We're going to play a game. It's time for games. And you know it's as close to moral quandary as we can get. No, but no, listen, we're going to answer all your dreams. Your dream is about to come through, Susan. You know why. We're going to talk about what we would do. You do not have to guess what I would do.

00:26:43
Speaker 2: This is a perfect It's.

00:26:45
Speaker 1: The Susan Show. You're going to say what you would do, and I'm going to say what I would do. So here goes first one dreams.

00:26:54
Speaker 2: Guess that's what I said.

00:26:56
Speaker 1: It's Susan's dream day, all right? What would you do if your first date brings up their ex multiple times and even compares you to them. Do you call it out or let it slide?

00:27:14
Speaker 2: Well?

00:27:15
Speaker 1: I wish off could happened.

00:27:16
Speaker 2: That's happened. That has happened, and honestly it at that time, it was whether I was wanting to get to know this guy or not, Like I know, within three minutes going on a first date, whether I'm going to see you again or not. But multiple times, like sometimes people do bring it up and to compare me to somebody. So it happened one time and he was a widow. I felt so bad for him, Kathy by the fourth time and I looked at him in my face, my eyes tell all like really, and he goes, I'm so sorry for doing this, but can I just show you? I said, of course, I'm about to throw up in my mouth, Kathy, I have and it was scary like she was a hairdresser. She looked, we looked just alike. Just I mean, maybe our features were a little the hair that, the body, the height, the And he said to me.

00:28:17
Speaker 1: Wait, he is a widower. Yes, she wanted to marry the ghost of Christmas past.

00:28:23
Speaker 2: He said. And I liked the guy a lot. I really did. And he said to me, I don't think I could see you. It's too much. Oh, I know, I know.

00:28:35
Speaker 1: I mean it's really good for him though, you know, good for him for knowing.

00:28:40
Speaker 2: And like I said, I would have seen him again.

00:28:42
Speaker 1: He was a nice I think I this this an ex a widower that's not an X that's a death right. So this is different if your your first date for me brings up their ex So you know, for me, I'm out. I'm not a first state. You know, down the road. Maybe if he was talking to me about and that's another conversation, by the way, that we can have someday, whether or not you know, how much do you want to know about your current boyfriend.

00:29:12
Speaker 2: Exes fashion them like they're saying.

00:29:15
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a big flag. I'm saying, I don't. Someday we're going to have this conversation about whether how much do you want to know about your current boyfriend, of which I don't have one, but how much you want to know about their exes? Right? I want to know some know a.

00:29:35
Speaker 2: Little bit of where you're coming from, but rightly details. Everybody's got a past.

00:29:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, So anyway I would, I would call it out and I would let him slide right out the door.

00:29:47
Speaker 2: Your date gets a little too drunk and starts making a scene. Do you stick it out in the night early?

00:29:56
Speaker 1: Okay? God, I can tell you my mine's a real quick answer. I'm out the door. I do not like a start. That's right, I'm out, goodbye, I see you. I'm at at Susan's house.

00:30:11
Speaker 2: Who's ever closed? Okay?

00:30:14
Speaker 1: You realize you have zero chemistry, but they seem really into you. Do you give them another date or call it quits early? What do you do, Susan?

00:30:23
Speaker 2: I stick it out for that date, and I'm usually a little I don't want to call myself a puss, but I'll text them that I didn't feel what I needed to feel, but I'm not going to go out on another date with them. Right.

00:30:38
Speaker 1: I also would stick out the date and then if they called me for another date. I would say, I have a horrible case of cholera. I mean, I want to make sure. I want to make sure, I'll I want to make sure they don't want to be around me. God, it's extremely and it's contagious.

00:31:00
Speaker 2: Can you see the guy now asking a friends do you know what color is? Okay? You see your friend's partner out with someone else looking a little too cozy? Do you tell your friend or do you stay out of it?

00:31:16
Speaker 1: You've had this conversation, You've had this conversation, So.

00:31:21
Speaker 2: The word friend is the hard part. Like I, yeah, I'm not kissing and telling them, but I've seen people with their wives. Weren't my friend?

00:31:33
Speaker 1: Wait a second, I knew the if it is you, oh no, no, no, no, no no.

00:31:39
Speaker 2: If it's you mean Nancy, I don't know.

00:31:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm oh no, I am saying it.

00:31:45
Speaker 2: Yes, if I see friend.

00:31:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if I just see uh, you know, a friend, I don't know. It could be a business meaning that's where you get yourself into trouble, you know. It could be their cousin. It could be you know, serious, it could be failing cousin. It could be someone in from out of town. I never mess with that stuff.

00:32:05
Speaker 2: I don't know that I would do an immediate.

00:32:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't either. I think I would keep my mouth on your own business. Yeah, but again it depends on how good a friend it is and how posy. I mean, if they're sitting making out, it's probably not a business meeting.

00:32:19
Speaker 2: Okay, your tongue was down her throat. I probably would address him before i'd address her. I'm going to give him an out here. Point in my eyes to his eyes. I see you, I'm watching you.

00:32:31
Speaker 1: Okay, what vachor nation? She would do it too, be scared of suits, and she means what she says. All Right, you agree to go to a party, but when you get there, you realize you don't know a single person. What's your move?

00:32:44
Speaker 2: Oh that's easy, Yeah, that's very easy.

00:32:46
Speaker 1: Hey, exactly, I'm counting. Who's on old? Come on? Stop?

00:32:55
Speaker 2: Yeah? No, I don't know how long i'd stay. Depends on the feedback from the crowd, I guess. But when you do not know a.

00:33:02
Speaker 1: Person, if you're invited to them, maybe maybe the person you got sick or someone who knows. But I will say you and I've talked about this as well. You and I can both walk into a room not know anybody and make friends and talk. And it's actually a gift, and I'm grateful that it is. I have that gift and you are too.

00:33:19
Speaker 2: It's and it's the smile that's warming and welcoming. People want to know when you smile.

00:33:24
Speaker 1: Just walking with a smile. Hey, and you know what, get people to talk about them for a little bit. You got a new friend, it's great, all right, go ahead, all right.

00:33:31
Speaker 2: Your friend borrowed something valuable from you and accidentally broken. But has it mentioned it yet? Do you bring it up or wait for them to So I'm taking it that they've already given it back to you and you realize it's broken. I say to me that, yo, what happens?

00:33:50
Speaker 1: You owe me? And she means it. Folks, I'm going to be honestly, if something valuable, I'm very careful about lending lens.

00:34:01
Speaker 2: Yes, I do borrow.

00:34:03
Speaker 1: So yeah, well you said that, but I happen to know for a fact you do.

00:34:08
Speaker 2: What did I borrow?

00:34:09
Speaker 1: There might be when you took your last trip to Saint Martin because you needed some additional beach cover ups. When you went to Saint Martin.

00:34:19
Speaker 2: Oh no, that was forced. You're talking about your friend, and let me tell you that she have some gorgeous things.

00:34:27
Speaker 1: We love our friend on this that we say we love our friend. Don if you're listening, we love you, all right, I I just don't lend something that valuable.

00:34:37
Speaker 2: All right, Well if you did, Pat, I want to know, would you say, hey, I just noticed that it's broken or.

00:34:44
Speaker 1: Its I probably I probably would bring it up, yeah, I probably nicely, kindly?

00:34:49
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, okay, all right we agreed again.

00:34:53
Speaker 1: Guys, yep, we're agreeing. That's a new friend. A new friend always forgets their wallet when you got to How do you handle it? Oh, we've had this conversation.

00:35:03
Speaker 2: Before they get there, I remind them she does.

00:35:06
Speaker 1: I swear I've heard her do it. I've paid the last two times. Don't forget your wallet?

00:35:11
Speaker 2: That's yes, yes, I mean because then you're not going to be friends with them anymore. If they consistently, you're going to shy away.

00:35:19
Speaker 1: I have to tell you I have a friend. This is how people get to know about it. These things make us tell stories. I have a friend here, Beth, who has a couple of friends who do not reciprocate. And Beth is always inviting people over for dinner and for drinks and for lunch and no, and she always no. I always she always has me over for dinner. I always bring.

00:35:42
Speaker 2: About every mind.

00:35:44
Speaker 1: And when we go out for brunch, I always stick my credit card down and say and put hers on mine because she always has me for dinner always. And as people know, I don't really cook very much, so I'm but other people don't. They let they let her pick up the tab, and I'm like, I talk, I keep saying that's don't be so quick with the credit card. Sit back, and you know.

00:36:07
Speaker 2: He told me that, Yeah, I'm in somebody's company, Like, oh no, I'm staying there, you know, let me.

00:36:13
Speaker 1: Ye, yeah, you gotta, you gotta. You know it is can be uncomfortable, but you know what, you don't want to breed resentment.

00:36:20
Speaker 2: So it's so good point.

00:36:22
Speaker 1: So let's let your credit card stay in your pocket a little bit longer.

00:36:26
Speaker 2: Next one, is you accidentally like an old Instagram post of someone you have a crush on it? What do you do?

00:36:34
Speaker 1: Absolutely nothing?

00:36:35
Speaker 2: Nothing like it? You have a crush on them. Hello, I hope you noticed or see or whoever.

00:36:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's oh my gosh, we're green way too much.

00:36:45
Speaker 2: It's going to be a good day, cat, all right, all right.

00:36:48
Speaker 1: You and your partner planned a big night out, but they cancel last minute for something that doesn't seem important. Oh, Susan, what would you do?

00:36:56
Speaker 2: Doesn't seem important to me? Or was?

00:36:59
Speaker 1: Obviously it doesn't important to you, but they can't.

00:37:02
Speaker 2: I would definitely be disappointed. I mean, obviously you have to accept the fact that they canceled.

00:37:08
Speaker 1: You're not going to say anything. Who are you trying to kill?

00:37:11
Speaker 2: Why? And when you tell me that's why, I'm going to say, really, I'm not. That depends on what the reason was, you know, if it under way, the disappointment will.

00:37:21
Speaker 1: Be exactly I think I would do exactly the same thing, and I would let them know. You know what, It comes back to communicating. If I said, pay no problem, I'm likely to say, hey, John, whoever it is, I was really looking forward to seeing you, you know, but that's okay, Maybe we can do it another night. It's better to be, you know, it's it's better. It is better.

00:37:42
Speaker 2: It is better to be.

00:37:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, go your significant other makes a joke about something you're insecure about. Do you address it or brush it off?

00:37:52
Speaker 2: Address it?

00:37:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, immediately, Yeah.

00:37:56
Speaker 2: And I know we're taught to wait till you get home. Like we've read one of these questions a few weeks back, a few episodes back, and they the husband and wife were the couple. I don't know if they were married, and they agreed if anything like this should happen, you never say you just go about the party or whatever you're at and wait till you get home. That would stew in me, can be like a fire being ignited. I would look like a dragon by the time we go.

00:38:24
Speaker 1: And she would. Folks, but they're not saying that this that the significant other is doing in front of other people. They're saying, you know, it's like it's like this, it's like I'm dating or you know Joe, and Joe makes a joke about me interrupting Hi. You know you're just you're choking.

00:38:44
Speaker 2: You're not insecure about well.

00:38:47
Speaker 1: Actually I am. I'm trying to be better about you know about or you know, Kathy, uh.

00:38:54
Speaker 2: Something you're insecure, man.

00:38:56
Speaker 1: I am insecure about that, or or joking like, oh, you were the only girl at the pool with a one piece on that was a lot of fabric that would that I'm insecure about that, because it would be well, here's where I's gonna say to you. People say things and they and they they cushion it by saying, oh, it's just a joke. It's not a joke. It is not a joke. So if my significant other makes a quote unquote joke about something I'm insecure about, you know what that is. It's cruel. And they know what they're doing and they're not making a joke. They're either making fun of me or trying to make a point, and it's not nice.

00:39:35
Speaker 2: It's not nice.

00:39:36
Speaker 1: Nice.

00:39:36
Speaker 2: So, all right, you're casually dating someone and they tell you they don't believe in tipping at restaurants. Is this a deal?

00:39:44
Speaker 1: Can we answer in unison? Yes, let me tell you something I think when you talk about like red flags when I'm on a date. If they are never mind tipping, they are not kind to the server, bending over backwards. Two of my three children were servers and restaurants, so I always tip close, you know, way over twenty percent because they work their tails off and I'm always.

00:40:14
Speaker 2: They're not good. Yes, they're giving me no service. They'll give the minimal, but they get it tip.

00:40:20
Speaker 1: And I tell you why. You need to tip them the right amount. This is my PSA. No, you need to tip the customary total amount. Here's the deal.

00:40:29
Speaker 2: No, you keep a certain percentage twenty percent of them.

00:40:32
Speaker 1: Okay, And you're saying, if they're rude, you give them less than twenty.

00:40:35
Speaker 2: Now, I always tip the minimum, the basic. Oh so you're saying, somebody treats me well and I noticed because I was a server as well once fun a time. Then they get not double, but way more.

00:40:47
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:40:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, you questioned it because you appreciate it.

00:40:49
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's a question that was on here. But you know, not not all tips are. If it's cash, they don't have to claim them. All you tip in cash or credit.

00:41:00
Speaker 2: I tried to yes, in kat, chip and cash.

00:41:04
Speaker 1: So what I'll try You know what I tried to do because they split the tips with the with the bartender. Yeah yeah, yeah right, So if I so, I'll usually put it on the check because I wanted to get split with everyone that helped prepare my meal. But you know what I'll do sometimes when I walk out, I'll take like a ten dollars bill out of my wall. Depends on the price of the and just say shake their hand and say thank you so much. It was a delight having you serve and hand them, and that money is meant to go to them, and they know it.

00:41:34
Speaker 2: And you know, when we all go out, when all the girls are together, we all throw cards down and we add the tip to the car and.

00:41:39
Speaker 1: We always over we as a group always leave a big tip, because that's the kind thing to do, round fine thing to do. All Right, you're on a date and your date says something you completely disagree with, but you still like them. Do you challenge them or change the subject? Oh? Come on, guess well this last wait, let's just guess what the other one would do.

00:42:00
Speaker 2: Susan do.

00:42:01
Speaker 1: What would Susan do? I would say the same thing, Kathy's gonna do.

00:42:05
Speaker 2: We challenge, we challenge. Yes, I would have won the moral.

00:42:12
Speaker 1: Susan. Susan, I'm going to tell the producers we want to go back to moral quandary.

00:42:16
Speaker 2: Because no, no, no, don't get excited. Do not get excited. But I think we did well. This game worked for us.

00:42:23
Speaker 1: This game works so well for us. I just want to know. I just wonder before we wrap it up, and we only have a couple of minutes here, Okay, okay, So one of the most I just want to say one of the things I love. I haven't had a chance to say this yet. One of the things I love about Bachelor Nation is when we have people on the podcast, we get to know them and we get new friends. And can I just tell you Ali, Joe and Julianna, Like, I have Juliana's phone number now, She's like, we're the Newton girls. They're so nice. I feel like I've made new friends.

00:42:58
Speaker 2: I know, I've just in the past guys that we had I think we knew them from the show, but getting to talk to them and digging in and.

00:43:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I just want everyone to know that we're the friendships were blessed, and the friendships that we make through Bachelor are really friends. It crosses age lines though. I just feel so grateful to be making all these friends. All right. So that's that's the PSA. This was so much fun.

00:43:28
Speaker 2: And thank you, sir God, Yes people, we.

00:43:32
Speaker 1: Love you all. Thank you all to our listeners, uh for joining in and listening to us today, because without you and your questions and your comments, we'd have nothing.

00:43:44
Speaker 2: And make sure you follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour because you know us, we have a new one coming at every week and you don't want to miss. I mean, really, for Kathy and I to agree on just about everything today, that's a win.

00:43:58
Speaker 1: That is a win. Although maybe they want to hear us argue Susan, here's the thing we do. We don't agree. We could really dial it up, but in the meantime, please submit your questions, your comments, all of it. Go bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or d m us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:44:19
Speaker 2: And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. We'll see you next time.

00:44:26
Speaker 1: Take care,