384 | Stop Trying to Figure Out the Play: A Reminder for CCPT Therapists

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

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Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are

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going to discuss something that

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I think needs to be discussed.

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I guess everything on the podcast needs to be discussed in some way,

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shape or form,

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but

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this is something I've been observing lately,

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and especially on coaching calls and Collective

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calls and interactions with other therapists.

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There's

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this newfound

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interest

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and fixation

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with trying to figure out what the play means.

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And I understand where it's coming from.

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I understand that we're recognizing symbolic play.

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We're looking for themes.

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We're trying to understand what's happening so

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we can effectively communicate with parents.

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I understand the basis upon which all of these questions are swimming.

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But

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what I think is happening is we're reaching and we're guessing

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and we're trying to draw conclusions and

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usually,

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I don't think we're accurate and even maybe more importantly,

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we don't need to.

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So,

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today we're gonna talk about stop trying to figure things out

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and

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That is one of the hardest things to do,

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I grant you,

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because

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when we sit and we don't really have clarity and we're not

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really sure why a child's doing something and what it might mean and

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why it has significance and or

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a child is not doing things,

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and you're like,

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why is this child not playing?

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Why is this child not talking?

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Why is this child refusing to do something?

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There's always our want for why.

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I'm,

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look,

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y'all know me.

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The why matters

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in my life about everything.

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But in CCPT it doesn't matter.

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And what unfortunately I think is happening,

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we're kind of in this trend right now,

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where

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we're making leaps

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and we're making assumptions.

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And we're trying to connect things because of what a parent has told us

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or because of what we know has happened

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or because we know the child's history.

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And Landreth cautions against this.

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He talks about this in Art of the Relationship.

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A little girl's playing in the room with him

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and mom just told him that she found out she's expecting a new baby

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and so

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he's

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watching this play out and he's drawing all

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these conclusions that it's about the new baby

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and come to find out it was about them going camping.

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So,

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sometimes when we're grasping and reaching

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for what this means,

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and I have to figure this out,

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we

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come to conclusions and we assume things that are not true.

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And not only does that take us out of the present,

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it takes us out of the moment with the child.

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It puts us in our heads.

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But it also can take us down paths internally

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that are not actually where the child is going,

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and this is child-centered for a reason.

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We follow where the child goes,

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and often

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we are sitting there going,

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Oh,

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this is probably because this and this must mean this,

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and there must be this implication because

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We have to be really careful about that,

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y'all.

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For example,

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I was on a call pretty recently,

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and

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when we watch a play session video,

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I typically say,

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OK,

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so what do we know?

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What,

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what do we know after watching this?

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What are we aware of?

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And someone said,

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well,

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I think that this is the child

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really wanting safety

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because

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nothing in the child's world has been safe,

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and this is obviously that need for safety coming out.

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Now,

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we're trained in grad school.

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To weave narratives together.

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We're trained to have insight and perspective.

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We're trained to be real observant and to connect the dots for people,

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but guess what?

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This is for working with adults

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where we learned this.

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In no CCPT class ever.

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I know y'all don't even have access to those most of the time,

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but in,

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in a,

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in a hypothetical,

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theoretical world,

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your CCPT class

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is never going to say,

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well,

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you need to look at the play and then figure out what it means,

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and then realize,

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oh,

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the interpretation of that is that the child is really seeking protection because

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they went through trauma and

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Don't make those jumps,

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y'all.

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Be real careful.

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And we have to talk about this

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because

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the only thing we need to know before we walk into a playroom is the child's name,

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first and foremost.

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Second of all,

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once we're in there,

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we don't need to have insight about what's going on.

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If you spend the entire session completely in the dark and clueless

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about what is happening,

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but you are fully adherent to the model.

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And you practice fidelity.

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And you communicate the be with attitudes

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and you go through your 11 things that you're going to say in your session.

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It was an effective session.

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The child is self-actualizing.

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And progress is being made.

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It's not up to you to understand what's going on for CCPT to work.

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Thank God for that.

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Oh my word,

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can you imagine?

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CCPT only works if we know what the heck's going on.

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We're all in trouble.

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So,

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don't put that pressure on yourselves.

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It is not our responsibility

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to figure out what is going on.

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It is not our job to know

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what things mean.

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Sometimes it's very clear.

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What is going on for a child.

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And you can document it,

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you can

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indicate that it's an observation,

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and you can move forward,

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but we certainly cannot spend any brainpower,

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any time,

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any energy.

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Trying to make sense of what's going on in the child's play,

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especially when

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we're coming up with hypothetical conclusions

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that are a reach.

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That's what I often end up saying when we're

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watching a video and when we're talking on calls,

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and I say,

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OK,

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so what do we know is the root issue here?

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And then someone will throw something out and that's almost always my response.

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I think that's a reach.

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I think that's presumptive.

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I think that's an assumption that you're making.

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We stick with facts.

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The facts are what the child is saying,

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what the child is doing,

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what the child is feeling.

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That's what we know.

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We don't know

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why the child feels compelled to stack blocks.

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Now,

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often we can sort of kind of figure it out,

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but we don't need to.

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That can never be the priority.

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Sometimes it gets dumped in our lap on a silver platter,

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and we're like,

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oh,

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that's clearly that,

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but most of the time it's not because play is subconscious.

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The child doesn't even know why they're doing things.

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They're not cognitively processing things.

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They're not going,

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oh,

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I should work through that,

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and I'm going to think about that,

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and I'm going to sort through.

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It's all subconscious,

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experiential,

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emotional.

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So we need to meet them where they are,

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experience and feel just like them.

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And we don't have to have all of the fancy conclusions because they don't serve us,

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they don't serve the child,

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and CCPT works whether we know what's happening or not.

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So I hope that's an encouragement.

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If you find that you're trying to interpret,

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just

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bring yourself back to your role in the playroom.

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Fidelity to the model,

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adherence,

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don't allow drifts.

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Stay present,

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stay engaged.

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11 things be with attitudes.

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And it will all sort itself out.

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All right,

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I love y'all.

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I hope that you all have a great week.

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We'll talk again soon.

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Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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For more episodes and resources,

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please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.