Jenna Willis on Dating, DINKS, and Just Doing It!

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. I'm good. How are you well?

00:00:12
Speaker 2: You just said hello gorgeous.

00:00:13
Speaker 1: I thought thought directed at you. You.

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Speaker 3: Jenna willis my listeners? Who are my friends?

00:00:23
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:00:24
Speaker 3: I feel like every time I see you in the morning at this hour, you're telling me to do something that I truly don't want to do. But I leave feeling like my ass is perkier than normal.

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Speaker 4: It is fact.

00:00:40
Speaker 1: By the way, what is that.

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Speaker 3: Like when you know how you get to the gym and you're like, okay, today's leg and butt day. Is it just like the muscles that are getting swollen so it looks perkier than blow.

00:00:51
Speaker 2: Oh, you're opening like the muscles up? Is that what it is?

00:00:54
Speaker 4: We're not opening them up, You're bringing blood flow to them, right, and blood flow.

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Speaker 3: Experience that makes There's so many times where I'll see people doing something before, like a workout shoot, and I'm like, girl, you should have been doing that the whole time, Like why are you just doing it now? Like she looks good, right, but you do think like you're not gonna get a six pack.

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Speaker 2: Right now in twenty minutes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but now it's making sense.

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Speaker 2: But when she starts doing her crunches, it appears.

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Speaker 4: Those like fab five minute workouts don't work well.

00:01:24
Speaker 3: Actually, there's a lot of questions that will address in the bonus.

00:01:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so crazy because.

00:01:29
Speaker 3: No matter how many times I have you on. Yeah, every time I post that I'm having you on and doing a Q and A, my little inbox thing is flooded.

00:01:40
Speaker 1: Yes with yes.

00:01:41
Speaker 4: That makes me so happy because then it just means people care about their health and wellness and we want to make change.

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Speaker 1: They do.

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Speaker 3: But at the same time, most people are like me and they're like, I want this, but I want to change nothing right, So so how do we do that?

00:01:56
Speaker 1: No, but there is a way to slow roll yourself.

00:01:59
Speaker 3: And I'm excited to talk to you about this, which we're really going to deep dive into obviously on this episode, but the bonus will be really focused on that. So, Jenna willis you have been my friend, as people know for over ten years now.

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Speaker 4: I can't.

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Speaker 1: Is that wild? I can't.

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Speaker 4: We don't have to talk about that one of the first I mean, when we were twelve. It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Well, we're both grown.

00:02:23
Speaker 5: Af I remember you flew to Utah, yeah, and I was still living there and picked you up.

00:02:30
Speaker 2: We went out and got like. We went to like a hotel bar.

00:02:33
Speaker 4: We went to the mall, the mall, Jena.

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Speaker 2: That was the first time I was I'm not lying either. That was nervous. I was like, I'm just about to hang out with Lauren's friend. And then we started hanging out and I was like, no, it's my friend. It was so fun.

00:02:48
Speaker 3: Me and my friends, Jenna, Mom and myself drove to Park City for lunch shop and Mom and I ended up getting lit was that eleven dropsy.

00:03:02
Speaker 1: Baby. It was a wild Jenna had to drive us home.

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Speaker 4: I like, ladies, it's okay back there, quiet down, please, And then they're crying and then they're laughing. My dad had just died.

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Speaker 1: Oh that was so dark.

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Speaker 3: It was We went to like McK finnigan's or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Best time.

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Speaker 1: No, it was great.

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Speaker 4: That's the best time. And I love Utah.

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Speaker 3: You.

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Speaker 4: I had such a great time with you guys.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, Utah is a beautiful place. So my routine with Jenna because we're homies. Yeah, but what I love about our friendship. And I said this because you make an appearance on the Valley this season, and I don't really know which way right now that goes. But I've been asked about it, and I'm not going to say too much, but I have said because I participated in the after show and your name appears, and I said, you know, my friendship with Jenna is one of the most healthy and productive friendships that I have. It's a friendship where you know, we are healthy together. H a friendship where we can really talk about everything and shoot it straight. It's it's a game of uh, as my mom would say, tennis, where the conversation goes back and.

00:04:22
Speaker 4: Forth because we know some that don't we know somewhere.

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Speaker 3: It's like, okay, so this dinner is going to be someone talking at me the whole time.

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Speaker 1: You leave feeling a little exhausted.

00:04:32
Speaker 3: You know everything about them, they know nothing about you.

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Speaker 5: You know their cat's name, you know their dead great grandfather and what he did.

00:04:43
Speaker 2: You're like, okay, what about me? And my mother and I.

00:04:46
Speaker 3: Had a good day, so like I have pre cancer in my It's like, well, now that we're paying the boat, yeah, everything's fine. You next time.

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Speaker 1: Really, you don't give a shit, but.

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy to know what your great great grandfather.

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Speaker 5: And why you are here because of him.

00:05:09
Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm still laughing or crying both the combination.

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Speaker 2: Of the two. It hurts because it's true, and you want to cry because it won't.

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Speaker 1: Change exactly exactly.

00:05:21
Speaker 3: That is all about acceptance, accurate way it accepting.

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Speaker 4: It is acceptance.

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Speaker 3: Going through life, is going through the five stages of good.

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Speaker 2: Don't you think, what is it? Acceptance? No, it's like grief, acceptance, anger.

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Speaker 3: Anger, and then finally acceptance.

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Speaker 4: And here we are, and here excepting where we're at.

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Speaker 3: Jenna has worked me out and been my homie for a very long time. You've worked me out through both of my pregnancies. You've worked me out after the pregnancies. And how are routine and day starts?

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Speaker 5: You?

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Speaker 1: Guys? I love it? I love it too, So I told her I'm back at it.

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Speaker 3: I'm how what was I two three months postpartum something like that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you were cleared?

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Speaker 1: I was cleared whatever? Six weeks after? What is that?

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Speaker 4: The month and a half The most of them you can really start is about six weeks, right, That's like the earliest you could start, and you want to start very very very minimal, right, And we were after that? I think I think we were eight to ten. Yeah, because you know, I'm very careful about everything, which I respect and I love.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: You don't put pressure on people, which is also what I like.

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Speaker 4: Ah, that's not my style, you know. I think everyone needs to come to acceptance with when they're ready. Yeah, and only you can make that decision, right because and I'm there to facilitate it and help you make change and push you as far as you can go. But it's not my job right to force you to exercise, like, that's a decision that you need to make when you're ready to prioritize your health and wellness. Going back to acceptance.

00:06:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, exactly. You know our morning routine, I Jenna comes. If we want to plan our workout, Let's say we want to start at nine, She'll come around eight, eight thirty because we like to get our coffee, a.

00:07:12
Speaker 2: Little chit chat, a little chit chat. Still the tea.

00:07:14
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say, you gotta go over the daily tea.

00:07:17
Speaker 1: It's so happy.

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Speaker 3: It is a lot happens in our lives in forty eight hours.

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Speaker 1: It does.

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Speaker 3: And you're one of the safe spaces for me where I can talk freely about anything and everything, and I know that it's going into a vault. I know that saying, and like, I love talking to my mom, but sometimes I'm like, all right, like I've had enough of.

00:07:38
Speaker 4: It's a little different. It's a little different opinion. It is no and that's okay.

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Speaker 5: You get different answers talent then you kind of want from a friend. Yeah, you get the motherly answer or the parent answer, and you're like, I get that.

00:07:51
Speaker 2: I know that an answer. I don't want it. That's why I'm not talking to you.

00:07:54
Speaker 3: Well, mom's answers immediately fuck them. They don't deserve to be your friend.

00:07:58
Speaker 1: That's not mine.

00:08:00
Speaker 3: Little bit of a productive like you know, you're my mom, you're my mom.

00:08:05
Speaker 4: That is normally where I'm like, okay, why don't we take a beat, think this through, m resonate, ruminate a little bit.

00:08:12
Speaker 3: What did you do to participate in that behavior?

00:08:15
Speaker 4: I will always challenge you on that.

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Speaker 3: But that's why I think I said in the after show, which you guys will see what I said, and I stand by you being one of the healthiest friendships.

00:08:26
Speaker 1: I have and have ever had.

00:08:28
Speaker 3: It means a lot and I thoroughly enjoy the process that goes into not only the cherry on top which I think is the body for me. Like a lot of people, they start working out because they want a perky butt, they want a tone's stomach, whatever, whatever the case may be.

00:08:44
Speaker 1: I know that that will come. But the way that.

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Speaker 3: I leave a workout it sets the tone for the entire day mentally. Yeah, so thank you for that.

00:09:00
Speaker 1: I want to talk about are working out and all those things.

00:09:03
Speaker 3: But you also which we didn't get to cover the last time. You are thirty eight, thirty eight, you look great.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: You were my.

00:09:13
Speaker 3: Age and you thank you.

00:09:16
Speaker 4: Of course she does, she works out, she's care of herself.

00:09:20
Speaker 2: I thought I do.

00:09:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I thought you're in your late twenties.

00:09:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I'm trying to be.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I just like start shouting it out, like, yeah, I'm I'm thirty eight.

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Speaker 2: I thought you two were the same age.

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Speaker 3: I think I'll be thirty five this year.

00:09:35
Speaker 1: But I think that.

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Speaker 3: The j Lo's and the Kim Kardashians and the Gwen Stefani's have really shifted the game.

00:09:44
Speaker 1: And people can say, well, they.

00:09:45
Speaker 3: Have access to like the best doctors, and they have access to injectables and all the things.

00:09:50
Speaker 1: Great, don't care regardless.

00:09:52
Speaker 3: They look amazing and no matter what their faces look like due to whatever work they've had. I'm sorry the way they get up on stage and poplock and drop it to the fucking ground. Yeah they are putting in Oh my god, because I feel like she hasn't had a whole bunch of work.

00:10:12
Speaker 2: If we're going to talk.

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Speaker 5: About not having work, I feel like she's naturally beautiful and.

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Speaker 4: I haven't done work.

00:10:21
Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, it's just a different day and age, and I think people have access to googling and saying like, oh, this does not do to my body what I thought it would do, and there's just information at the tip of our fingers. But you went through a fertility journey what a year and a half ago?

00:10:40
Speaker 4: Yep?

00:10:41
Speaker 1: What was what was that like?

00:10:43
Speaker 3: Because you and I talk about this all the time, us getting older, wanting to create a family.

00:10:47
Speaker 1: The dating world is.

00:10:49
Speaker 3: Grim like it hotter in here? I know?

00:10:53
Speaker 1: Actually did fill my pips get a little?

00:10:57
Speaker 2: Are we going here?

00:11:00
Speaker 1: What was the point for you?

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Speaker 4: I mean there were a few levels of it, you know. The point was to be able to take pressure off of the dating life, okay, and and give me those few extra years to give me the opportunity. How you did. If I get to a point in my life where you know, I want to bring a child into the world on my own, I can.

00:11:28
Speaker 3: So you would be open to that. Yeah, you know, I have people.

00:11:32
Speaker 4: You're like, good, we have a year end and so we're doing that.

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Speaker 3: I have a third I would like a friend to participate with me.

00:11:40
Speaker 1: So I'm just kidding.

00:11:43
Speaker 2: You're on her schedule. Now, You're ready to a.

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Speaker 3: Lot of people that I've had on the podcast who go through a fertility journey and they freeze their eggs and they're ensuring that when they find a partner, when that time comes, they have eggs that are one hundred should they not be creating anymore?

00:12:03
Speaker 1: Right?

00:12:04
Speaker 3: But the biggest, the biggest factor in that is if I don't find a partner, then I don't need to be a mom. So you're saying that you would go the route of choosing to be a single mom.

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Speaker 4: I lean way more towards being a single mom than not being a mom at all now, of course, and you say this the most out of anyone, which, by the way, is one of the things I love the most about you. Whenever anything happens, he said, I'm being guided. You have to trust in God in the universe. Yeah, right, And everything happens for a reason, and you know I get I mean you know this by now. I can get very emotionally worked up, so can you. That's probably why we're so close, because I'm like, I'm going to fuck somebody up and then we're like, oh, I'm good, I let it out right yea. But what you always come back to is everything happens for a reason. And I think it's hard to predict what the future holds, you know, but in this moment right now, I absolute would go that path over never having a child.

00:13:03
Speaker 1: I love that.

00:13:05
Speaker 4: The factors that play into it, of course.

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Speaker 5: So you see the relationships and how coparenting looks, it's like, why even risk that, you know?

00:13:13
Speaker 4: Well, I think, yeah, you know, I think it goes definitely, But there's always factors that make it scary, whether it is doing it alone, whether it is having a partner that can become anyone, right and anything at any point.

00:13:29
Speaker 3: What what are the factors doing it alone? What are the things that way heaviest on your mind with that time?

00:13:37
Speaker 4: Energy, sleep, work, financial, I mean there's a lot, yeah, there's a lot of factors that play into And we live in Los Angeles, which is what now is it? Is it the most expensive city in the United States or is it your.

00:13:49
Speaker 3: I think it's in the top five. I know New York and San Francisco.

00:13:53
Speaker 4: I mean it's and think about it, right, Having help is real. Doing it all is not easy, that's for sure.

00:14:03
Speaker 3: Well, I was talking to a friend today who has a conventional thing happening, very traditional.

00:14:10
Speaker 1: Uh.

00:14:11
Speaker 3: And you know, any sort of talk about finances takes me.

00:14:18
Speaker 1: To a place of PTSD, right, because.

00:14:21
Speaker 3: It reminds me of when the two thousand and eight recession happened and my dad lost everything, And it was the first time that I saw my parents' fight where there was no remedy for the situation unless a pile of money dropped into the household. It was a conversation that still to this day when someone says we had an argument about finances, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I have a knot in my throat.

00:14:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, And they were talking about how you know, he works, she's.

00:14:48
Speaker 3: A stay at home mom. Some debt had been collected on a credit card, because that's what happens. It's expensive to live, right, And like she said, you know, if I go and get a job, I'm probably going to be making as much as I would have to pay someone to come in to.

00:15:10
Speaker 1: Watch the kid.

00:15:12
Speaker 2: You know.

00:15:12
Speaker 3: So there's such true it's wild. However, when I think.

00:15:20
Speaker 1: About that, I go to a place of.

00:15:25
Speaker 3: When there's a dynamic between a husband and a wife, or just a partnership man and man, woman and woman, when there's intimacy that has now entered the chat, it just adds another layer of stress. There are stressors in my household. But because there's not the intimate factor, because it's me and my mom or me and.

00:15:49
Speaker 4: Easting, I think it's easier to set boundaries.

00:15:51
Speaker 3: Yes, it's easier to set boundaries because the moment that you're not getting along with your partner, what do you stop doing? You stop being intimate with them. Yeah, there's another layer of stress that goes into that. So when I hear that someone wants to be a parent on their own, you are going to have the same amount of stress that a couple has.

00:16:14
Speaker 1: But actually you get to eliminate one of the stressors, which is dealing with a partner.

00:16:21
Speaker 5: That's true, but that with that stress comes many of stresses you know, but with the partner. Eliminating the partner, you're eliminating financials, You're eliminating so many things underneath just that, you know, because the partner brings so many other things. I agree, So like, eliminating the partner eliminates so.

00:16:41
Speaker 2: Much more than just that.

00:16:42
Speaker 4: Have you guys heard of dinks? This term called dinks?

00:16:44
Speaker 3: No?

00:16:44
Speaker 1: What is that?

00:16:45
Speaker 4: Dual income no kids. It's like a new thing.

00:16:47
Speaker 2: Oh yeah all the time.

00:16:53
Speaker 4: But you know, yeah income no kids and they just buy the most ridiculous things or they're like all the time and they're like, and how do we afford this?

00:17:05
Speaker 2: I never knew what it.

00:17:06
Speaker 4: Meant though, now you know. If you don't know, now you know.

00:17:10
Speaker 3: However, I love this, Yeah, I love this, like going out and traveling the world for me personally without my kids, I don't.

00:17:21
Speaker 1: Know what my purpose would be.

00:17:23
Speaker 4: We've spoken about this because I just got another puppy, and you're like Johna, You're like me. We want purpose and give us the ability to help and take care of something and nurtures. Yes, I mean, let's be on, look what I do for a living, all right, help people?

00:17:36
Speaker 3: Yes, But I I am with you in that, Yeah, when people say they don't want kids, I'm like, they don't have them because it changes everything. But a little part of my heart breaks just because I know the feeling of when you have your own child. I'll be honest, like, I love kids, but like if someone asked me to babysit their kid, I would have zero fucking interest in.

00:17:59
Speaker 2: It's like looking at a pig. Sure of like a photo of you.

00:18:03
Speaker 4: If we're going to get like really open and vulnerable, vulnerable right now, you know. I've had to go through the process of what if.

00:18:12
Speaker 1: I don't what if you don't have kids, or what if you don't find a purder? What if you don't have.

00:18:17
Speaker 4: I mean, but let's be honest. I mean I'm out here dating you know that.

00:18:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's one of my questions.

00:18:28
Speaker 4: Okay, can we leave for an episode wrapped real quick?

00:18:34
Speaker 3: No?

00:18:35
Speaker 4: But I am you know. I I've many a night's laying in bed what if I don't true like truly And I've had to come to the point in my life and accepting that maybe I won't and and if that is my path, I have to It makes me emotional, But if that is my path, then I need to accept that is what it is, and that's okay as well. Uh, but it is really emotional to think that I might go through life without ever having kids. And you can say you will, you will, but we we don't know.

00:19:11
Speaker 2: I was just going to say, on top of that thing.

00:19:13
Speaker 4: To have that thought, and I've had many nights of just like crying an emotional turmoil.

00:19:20
Speaker 2: Would you ever adopt?

00:19:22
Speaker 4: Yeah? I would, Okay, I would, so yeah, I mean.

00:19:26
Speaker 5: I've thought about that route too, because you just saying that I'm young. I get that, but like I'm in the same bot of like what if I never do find somebody totally because I do want kids, And then that's the other thing. It's like, okay, well now I have to find it. So I get where you're coming from. But like that was my almost like adoption is there and like there are so many kids in need, and it's like that's something that I can really fall into as well.

00:19:51
Speaker 2: Yeah totally, which kind.

00:19:52
Speaker 5: Of helps me because I've gone through what you're going through making to find somebody. When I have a kid, I see what you have and it's like I do want kids. Yeah, So yeah, I get what you're saying. You got me in my feelings and let's get.

00:20:05
Speaker 4: Spirally on everyone's doing funny side thought, I can't sit how Easton is when my legs are too short.

00:20:15
Speaker 2: I know.

00:20:15
Speaker 1: I love the new space because it is just.

00:20:18
Speaker 4: It's such a bag.

00:20:23
Speaker 2: Over here or something.

00:20:23
Speaker 3: You damn.

00:20:27
Speaker 4: I just had to call it out because Eastern is like sitting all chill and I'm like, sitting here.

00:20:31
Speaker 2: Really, I really thought.

00:20:33
Speaker 3: I was like, this is very impressive.

00:20:35
Speaker 1: You could do it.

00:20:36
Speaker 4: No, you can't do that. I've stretched you.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, A lot of like am I good?

00:20:39
Speaker 4: Now?

00:20:42
Speaker 3: A lot of the workouts that involve like being limper, like girl, you you got to be straight tripping Boom had me to.

00:20:50
Speaker 2: It the one time. I thought, and you think I'm coming back.

00:20:53
Speaker 4: Just the workout. We're not talking threading.

00:20:57
Speaker 1: Here's how I feel off of what you just said.

00:21:00
Speaker 4: My dating life.

00:21:01
Speaker 1: We're going to get there.

00:21:04
Speaker 3: When I think about the future and what that may hold and I and it's always at night where I start the spiraling.

00:21:13
Speaker 4: Always always I don't meditation.

00:21:16
Speaker 3: About the brain and what chemical it releases, but it's a release of Now I'm going to take you to the darkest place you've ever been in your life.

00:21:23
Speaker 4: And I'm like now we start replaying our day and at the end of it, there's nothing else to do except lay there and you're trying You're trying to rest and your brain is kind of playing catch up. Yes, it's it's crazy. I have to play meditation to go to sleep a lot of times.

00:21:37
Speaker 3: Well, Lisa and I have had these conversations a lot recently, where you know, obviously there are times where you need to seek help from a doctor and get on medication, of course, So I'm not saying take control of your mind and that's the end.

00:21:55
Speaker 4: All be all.

00:21:55
Speaker 3: There are situations where you need someone with a medical background. For me, though, when I start going to those places, if my mind is powerful enough to take me to that place, it is certainly powerful enough to say we're ending it here, and now I'm going to take you to a really great place.

00:22:16
Speaker 1: You can take me low, you can certainly take me high. So I do.

00:22:21
Speaker 3: And I was talking to a friend yesterday where we were talking about my eye, and you know, I was saying, this is how I've kind of laid it out to have it make sense, because there was something coming up that I was very much looking forward to. And you know, she said, sometimes not everything does happen for a reason. Sometimes just shit happens. And immediately I was like, no, I don't like that at all. I have to I don't like that at all. There had to be a reason behind everything, because that is the way that I keep peace of mind and keep my head above water. I could be so up in the night, we could be dead and gone in the ground. There's nothing after this. Yeah, if I go that route, I know.

00:23:09
Speaker 4: We're in a dark place. Yeah.

00:23:10
Speaker 3: What I do know is when I think about the universe and it's structuring my life for me, and my life and path was written in the stars before I even arrived here. I know that that thought makes me peaceful. I know that that thought gives me chills, and I know that there is something beyond just this shell of who I am.

00:23:28
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:23:29
Speaker 3: For you, I picture you with children, and I picture you having a partner.

00:23:34
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:23:36
Speaker 3: But I understand going into that dark, dark place of the what if.

00:23:42
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:23:42
Speaker 3: So I think just having your eggs frozen, knowing that you have you know, you don't expect for your life or your house to burn down, but just in case you have, you know that houses have burned down.

00:23:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know totally.

00:23:55
Speaker 3: We've seen it on the news. It could very well be your house one day.

00:23:58
Speaker 1: So what do you do? You get insurance?

00:24:00
Speaker 3: Unless you live in LA, it's very fucking different.

00:24:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it is.

00:24:05
Speaker 3: You got your insurance policy.

00:24:08
Speaker 1: Now.

00:24:08
Speaker 3: You're very heavy in the dating scene.

00:24:11
Speaker 1: You're on apps, right, Yes, do you have a favorite app?

00:24:16
Speaker 4: Well, that's a good question. I wouldn't say I have a favorite one.

00:24:20
Speaker 2: Is there any apps that you've had more success in?

00:24:24
Speaker 4: Defined success more.

00:24:26
Speaker 5: Like I mean multiple days or even success in the men are more interesting or more down your app?

00:24:35
Speaker 4: I would say all of them. I have met someone that I've dated for a little bit, you know, that's my best way to answer it. I would say certain apps cater for instance, you know, cater more to the entertainment industry.

00:24:52
Speaker 2: Versus isn't that rayah?

00:24:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, yeah, so that definitely is more in the entertainment mint field.

00:25:01
Speaker 2: Which you feel you need.

00:25:04
Speaker 4: You know, that's that's such a great question. It's something that I've actually been debating lately. You know, everyone's always like write a list, right if you're if you're looking to date, which you know I'm trying to get her, Yes, keep getting about I am where we are doing the thing.

00:25:23
Speaker 2: She deserves to have some happiness.

00:25:24
Speaker 3: And I figured out there's always there is always something just wear the patch.

00:25:33
Speaker 2: There are a lot of guys.

00:25:35
Speaker 3: It could be pirate, there's a lot of weird fetish.

00:25:39
Speaker 4: It.

00:25:40
Speaker 3: I never more enjoying than when I was pregnant. Actually, I was like, where are you guys when I'm not pregnant. I would have been pregnant for.

00:25:47
Speaker 1: A really long time.

00:25:48
Speaker 2: There's dudes who like pregnant women.

00:25:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but that's also kind of want your sister to date someone who's like has a pregnancy fetish, No, any.

00:25:58
Speaker 2: Sort of I put the child in you.

00:26:00
Speaker 5: That's I can have that fetish if I am looking at it like a random girl and like even seeing her like husband and I'm like, she's so fun.

00:26:08
Speaker 1: There are weird people, all know.

00:26:09
Speaker 4: Although I will say yours was different because it wasn't like it was from the next like oh.

00:26:17
Speaker 1: This gout your That is true.

00:26:18
Speaker 2: They were no man in there. I'm sending my shot.

00:26:22
Speaker 1: Could I tell you?

00:26:25
Speaker 3: Podcast with Brittany and we were talking about her dating life and sexy time life, and I was like, I haven't been touched an intimate with a man in over two years, I know, and I go, I know this, and then you know I got pregnant. Yeah, And if you were just some random person, you'd be like, how does that You're saying you haven't anybody, but you got pregnant, so you're a liar. Back to the app. Okay, what about hinge? Hinge?

00:26:53
Speaker 4: Okay, so Hinge is interesting. There's I was never on Hinge until about a year ago and I was at my girlfriend's house. We were drinking wine, hanging out, and she was scrolling on Hinge and I was like, oh, I was like, these are like real dudes, not just like LA. Right when you think of LA, what do you think of like LA dudes?

00:27:13
Speaker 1: What do you think of I think of the boys?

00:27:17
Speaker 3: Good, are very well groomed, uh huh, probably jobless, uh huh. They're on Runnian walking Runnion every single day.

00:27:28
Speaker 4: We have a really really funny.

00:27:30
Speaker 3: And they want to go out and they're very healthy, very healthy, Jenna.

00:27:35
Speaker 1: But do I want to do a bump in the bathroom alway?

00:27:38
Speaker 3: Is that what they're doing makes zero fucking Sense's skinny?

00:27:43
Speaker 4: Trying to say skinny guys?

00:27:44
Speaker 3: Come on, that's no.

00:27:47
Speaker 4: But I yeah, So when she was scrolling hinge. I was like, oh, these guys have jobs, Like, I was like, they have real jobs. They were like and lawyers, well, doctors, right, but.

00:27:57
Speaker 2: LA is not that high right now.

00:27:59
Speaker 4: Right is surrounded by the entertainment industry, right, And I'm a gonna lie. I went into a restaurant the other day in the middle of the day and I walked in and it was packed, and I looked around. I'm like, does anybody here work? And I'm like, literally, looetting ready and I'm like, but I'm here.

00:28:13
Speaker 3: But I think that all the time all do run into one's in a blue moon. I'm like, these fucking lasers have no job. And then I'm like, but I'm here.

00:28:25
Speaker 4: That's the exact time that I had. I was like, wait, I just ordered lunch.

00:28:30
Speaker 1: I'm here, yeah.

00:28:31
Speaker 4: And I was also here on Monday.

00:28:32
Speaker 3: No. I literally said to Easton, Yeah, because we've been going through a mental health awakening, and I'm like, we're all just a bunch of mirrors walking around. Yeah, we're all throwing shit at each other, but your shit smells just like my shit, and vice versa, and no one's doing better than the other person, and it's just a crazy, crazy fucking world.

00:28:55
Speaker 5: The world is wild, and the more I look into the world, and like even driving and just looking around, I'm like, what is going on?

00:29:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, what what's it for? And what we're gonna say?

00:29:06
Speaker 4: Well, just to go back into the dating world, you know, it's it's such a crazy time in the sense of there's so many opportunities, right, and it's almost dangerous because we're so quick to cut someone out, which, by the way, like right, I think a really important question is and I actually have this question for both of you guys too. Does dating get harder as we get older or do we just become more aware of who we are and what we want.

00:29:37
Speaker 1: I adore this.

00:29:39
Speaker 3: Question so much.

00:29:40
Speaker 2: It made because I'm still nervous.

00:29:43
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh god, Personally, yeah, I think it's a combination of both things.

00:29:49
Speaker 1: And I really hate that answer because I'm black at black or white. I don't like the gray Switzerland answer.

00:29:56
Speaker 3: But I feel like it's really hard to date because there's so much access. You could literally meet you know, Svetlana in Russia, who's a fucking banger. You live in Los Angeles, and all of a sudden you know someone who you would never fucking know otherwise, Yes, because social media.

00:30:15
Speaker 4: Well I was gonna say even just Instagram's like a dating app now slide in someone's DMS.

00:30:22
Speaker 3: But on the flip side, as you get older and you evolve, Yeah, I'm going to speak for my own personal experience. I no longer drink, so I don't have any sort of liquid courage to make me feel you know, I'm I'm not uninhibited. I don't have anything to kind of give me a little bit of like it's all good. I'm hyper focused. I have an out of body experience. Every time I go out. It's like I'm watching myself have conversations with people and that it's not a good feeling, and maybe I'll have to go out and to make that go away. But then I also think about what I've built. Yeah, and I've let people in in a very intimate way emotionally, physically who have turned out to be scary. So that makes me nervous. Yeah, And then you add the layer of I have children, what kind of person are you? You stack all of those things on top of each other, and it becomes debilitating to go out and try to meet somebody.

00:31:33
Speaker 4: I think you're setting that standard for yourself.

00:31:37
Speaker 5: I was just gonna say, but I feel like I do this, like I feel like everybody does that.

00:31:41
Speaker 4: Well, that can go both ways though, Like I'm thirty eight and I don't have kids, right, so I have the same thought as like we're at a point in our lives where a lot of women our age do have kids.

00:31:52
Speaker 3: Well, then I guess the question is more directed at you then, because you're what's wrong without you?

00:31:58
Speaker 2: No?

00:31:58
Speaker 3: No, no, I'm saying, how do you feel that the dating world? You know? Like, what is You're out here and you've you've built something.

00:32:04
Speaker 1: Great, you know, like, what do you feel is the issue? Is it harder or do you just have higher standards?

00:32:12
Speaker 4: I hate to say, you know, I'm in that gray area as well, but I it is. It has to be both.

00:32:18
Speaker 5: I think it's higher standards, but it's wanting what you want and also the people that you're talking to have that as well, and they know what they want.

00:32:29
Speaker 4: No, sorry, go on, go on, I want to totally keep going.

00:32:32
Speaker 1: I want to hear you're so excited.

00:32:33
Speaker 2: No, tell me, tell me.

00:32:35
Speaker 4: I you think about when we're twenty two, you see someone they're hot, you go out, you get drunk, one night and you hook up. Whatever you do. You wake up the next morning, you're like, should we go grab breakfast? Right? I I want you to leave well now right?

00:32:52
Speaker 1: Always?

00:32:53
Speaker 5: I like going to their house so I can leave at four thirty in the morning.

00:32:56
Speaker 4: Okay, I.

00:32:59
Speaker 2: Control when when I keep that? Yeah, because there's nothing worse than a lingerer.

00:33:05
Speaker 4: Oh fuck, do we want to talk about your trauma first or yours?

00:33:08
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I think we're No.

00:33:11
Speaker 4: I think that's both both valid.

00:33:14
Speaker 2: But I mean to you, when you're doing that, I didn't know what I wanted.

00:33:19
Speaker 4: You're not. It's thinking about the dynamics. You're not thinking about kids having kids in that moment, right, You're not thinking about is this person going to have the same morning routine that I do?

00:33:31
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, level.

00:33:34
Speaker 2: Right the ship.

00:33:34
Speaker 4: You never thought about that before, and now I do. It's one of the main things I think about.

00:33:39
Speaker 1: Something If you get in.

00:33:40
Speaker 3: Bed with me at seven o'clock, right and cover your face and castor oil while eating good of cheese and good things while watching.

00:33:48
Speaker 2: But this is where you're gonna.

00:33:49
Speaker 1: Have to give him, right, So can I tell you the out of it?

00:33:54
Speaker 4: Can I tell you how hard it is to date though, being someone who likes to go to bed early on the weekdays, Like, I'm not the person that going to go out in the middle of the week and get wasted on a date.

00:34:05
Speaker 1: You have to be up to train people.

00:34:06
Speaker 3: You got your fitness brand, you personal train, which you're very funny about now, like it has to be.

00:34:12
Speaker 1: A good gig.

00:34:13
Speaker 3: It has for you to when you go out with somebody, I want to know, is that a deal breaker if they're not a physical person.

00:34:22
Speaker 4: It's funny because people would be like, oh, she has to date someone who has a six pack who's in the gym all the time. Ironically enough, I prefer someone who isn't as into fitness as I am.

00:34:33
Speaker 3: Okay, why because you.

00:34:36
Speaker 4: Know what I've noticed? Then they're tracking me.

00:34:39
Speaker 3: They're what they're they're tracking me, and I'm like, what she calls herself a personal trainer and she just hate that yeah.

00:34:46
Speaker 4: Or or or they're like, well, why aren't we in the gym for two hours today? And I'm like, look, I'm I'm a trainer. I love what I do. But I have never been one of those trainer, one of those people who want to spend all day in the gym. All I do right, Like, I'm not the person who wants to go to the gym and then go for a four hour hike afterwords. The worst I don't write. And a lot of people and dudes who are into that. It's very intense and it's like almost like this weird competitive of like what, I don't know.

00:35:22
Speaker 2: I can see that.

00:35:24
Speaker 4: I think they have to appreciate fitness, Like I couldn't be with someone who didn't exercise at all.

00:35:27
Speaker 3: I don't think, right, No, but you wouldn't want to be with a gym head. No, just takes care of Yes, you also have no type, like I've noticed when you show me like you're attracted to.

00:35:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, except except that.

00:35:46
Speaker 4: Wait, sometimes I'm like, am I allowed to look into the camera and say accepting dating dating applications right now?

00:35:53
Speaker 1: Yes, of course you are.

00:35:54
Speaker 3: It's gonna be all women, but that's okay.

00:35:58
Speaker 4: No type. I'm just gonna.

00:36:04
Speaker 1: Do you train me?

00:36:05
Speaker 3: You train Kristen, Well, she's like four hundred years pregnant.

00:36:08
Speaker 4: Though I know I am, I gonna have.

00:36:10
Speaker 2: That kid out, She's gonna do a squat.

00:36:13
Speaker 3: I actually am very impressed that she's worked out this long. I know you were supposed to train her this morning and she was like, I'm.

00:36:19
Speaker 1: Good, imps, I can't.

00:36:23
Speaker 3: Imagine body hurts.

00:36:26
Speaker 1: That's weird.

00:36:27
Speaker 3: What do you mean when you go out with your friends who you train like me, for example.

00:36:33
Speaker 1: When you see what we consume.

00:36:35
Speaker 3: Like that day that we had worked out and then I downed like an egg McMuffin from mynlds after, were you like, oh my god, or do not even think about it?

00:36:43
Speaker 4: Oh, that's such a good like, that's such a good point. So for me, I never expect people to do what I do. Okay, I don't because you know how I am. I believe in a sustainable lifestyle and and and truthfully, like, you can eat the egg McMuffin, now, do I prefer that it was healthier food not for McDonald's. Yes, I do, right, yeah, But I'm not here to like deprive you of everything. Now. If you were sitting here complaining about your weight, right, yeah, I don't feel good in my skin, I feel obese, whatever it is, and you were doing that, then I'd be like, let's have a conversation, because the truth is you're making those choices, right, but you don't do that and we talked about this so much. You're like, I want to get a fair ass and I want to feel good, right, And that's and that's what we do, isn't it.

00:37:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:37:29
Speaker 3: My favorite body was when I had just lost my dad and I stopped drinking for like I remember at the time, but I was smoking weed a lot, so I was always eating and I were this Mumma was thick and I was like, I feel that body. And then postpartum with Ocean, postpartum with Sosa was a fucking buzzkill I And people are gonna hate me for saying this, but we all really we don't have right.

00:37:56
Speaker 4: We shed the weight so quick.

00:37:58
Speaker 3: But it fell off of me to where I got skeleton again, and I'm like, what the fuck is this?

00:38:02
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:38:03
Speaker 3: With Ocean, I had hips, I had I was feeling myself. I was like, this is the body I've been dreaming of. I'm having twelve kids because I just want to live in this body forever.

00:38:15
Speaker 4: But I had thirteen children for the body.

00:38:20
Speaker 3: But everyone battles like I have so many questions for you that will answer in the bonus of how people can bounce back after having a baby. And we talk about this all all the time that you almost have to focus on the way your mental feels because you are always going to want something that you do not have. Yeah, and I don't know why God made us that way.

00:38:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it is what it is.

00:38:48
Speaker 3: How do you because I I've seen you with your clients and it's not just about the eating, and it's not just about the working out, like you have full conversations about getting the mental right as well, because you're trained to be a life coach.

00:39:05
Speaker 4: Yeah. By Jay Shetty.

00:39:07
Speaker 2: Damn.

00:39:08
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:39:08
Speaker 4: Have you ever heard of him?

00:39:10
Speaker 3: Has got to beautiful eyes?

00:39:12
Speaker 4: He does, so does his wife. You're like, how did this happen?

00:39:14
Speaker 3: No, He's an extremely beautiful man, he is.

00:39:17
Speaker 1: You know.

00:39:17
Speaker 4: I think it really comes back to how I became a trainer. Yeah, and you know that we've spoken about this before. I became a trainer because of my anxiety and situational depression. I've always struggled with anxiety. My parents literally had to put a punching bag in our basement when I was a kid.

00:39:37
Speaker 3: You are so Jersey right now.

00:39:39
Speaker 2: I love it.

00:39:39
Speaker 4: Good for your parents, you know, And it's always been something that I've struggled with and dealt with and when my fiance and I broke up, when I stepped away from the Valley right, and and also I mean the valley when stepp away from vander Pump Rules, and when like the show that I was working on stop filming, I went into such a situational depression to the point where my parents were literally like, do we have to bring you home?

00:40:08
Speaker 1: Right?

00:40:09
Speaker 4: And what changed my life was exercising again, like almost makes me emotional because it literally changed my life. And the fact that I can help people do that is the biggest gift in the world because I know how hard it was for me and what I went through. And you say it too, like it completely changes your mood and a lot of time it is the last thing I want to do. By the way, me too. I'm human, and I know you feel the same way. But when you finish, it's that moment right after that you just feel like a completely different person. And that is why for me, the mental aspect of health and wellness is so prominent.

00:40:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I also think it got you out of a really dark space. But yeah, cut to where you are now and all the people that you've helped. I also think that in your personal life. It's made you go out into the world with intent.

00:41:04
Speaker 5: Hm.

00:41:05
Speaker 4: You know, yeah, I appreciate you saying that when you.

00:41:08
Speaker 3: Can stack yourself and know that you're you're putting your all into you, then you can go out into the world and you can make those hard decisions like I'm going to freeze my eggs because i don't know what the future holds. I'm going to put myself out there on dating apps and I'm gonna I actually very much admire you.

00:41:29
Speaker 1: I know, we joke all the time, like Jo's.

00:41:31
Speaker 3: Got on our four hundreds date for the week, but I like socializing though that's the only bonus for it.

00:41:37
Speaker 1: But I adore that about you.

00:41:39
Speaker 3: And I truly believe that the fitness world that you have just put your all into because I believe that your mental is the highest of highs that comes from when you work out. But it's really allowed you to go out into the world and be intentional about what you're doing. Yeah, you know, whether it's whether it's your dating, whether you know you're facing a hard time, you're teed up because you've stacked yourself so perfectly.

00:42:09
Speaker 2: Right.

00:42:10
Speaker 4: I I'm like speechless because that means a lot and it is true, but just that you see I mean, look, you're one of my best friends. Of course you see it, but sometimes you know, others see it better than we do. So just to hear it that way is really nice and really refreshing, and I appreciate it. And that is the truth. I mean, even you know it's true.

00:42:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you have how long ago did you start that online fitness?

00:42:36
Speaker 4: Oh my god? Like the actual like month to month online like real plans and work where like.

00:42:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, the ones that you post and like you get onto the group, oh god, zooms into your workouts.

00:42:45
Speaker 4: I love it so much twenty twenty twenty two, Like during COVID twenty twenty one. Yeah, it's become very refined. Like when I, like when I first launched it, it was like, right, COVID hit and you know this I was working on like a ninety day bridal boot camp.

00:43:03
Speaker 3: Yeah I remember.

00:43:04
Speaker 4: Do you remember this?

00:43:04
Speaker 3: Yeah? I do remember.

00:43:05
Speaker 1: And I created this.

00:43:06
Speaker 4: Ninety day bridal boot camp for brides, which by the way, I do have. I just don't advertise it anymore. But that's what started all of it. And at the time, it was because the day to day training was so busy and auditioning that I couldn't manage all of it. So I was like, I'm going to create this online program covid hit. There's no acting going on right and no one's getting married. All venues are shut down. So I was like, I have this skeleton of a program, right, ninety day workout plan cater to at home. You helped me promote this, Yeah, And I literally I taught myself how to build out a pay funnel, how to build a landing page. And I was like, I'm going to use the skeleton of this program and teach like a sanity while stuck at home workout plan a two month special. And I literally utilized Facebook.

00:43:54
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:43:54
Speaker 4: I used Facebook. I created a private community and I launched it and like right off the bad it was look very fortunate. I got like two hundred members.

00:44:04
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:44:05
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh my gosh. I was like, this is something I and you know what the beauty And I was like, I can reach more people than just my day to day clients. I can help more people and make people feel better as a whole versus just you and me day to day, right, And that is that is a fucking gift.

00:44:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is how do people sign up or learn about learn more about this?

00:44:27
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, so like basically through time. Now now I have an app. Now it's all refined. Oh nice, Yeah so, and now it's literally like I do personalized month to month meal plans and workout plans.

00:44:36
Speaker 3: I can people pick and choose, like if they're like, uh, the package where you you do the workout and meal plan little too steep for me right now.

00:44:44
Speaker 1: I just want to stick to one or the other.

00:44:45
Speaker 4: One hundred percent. And of course I always say, you know, depending on what your goals are, nutrition and you know, exercise come hand in hand. But one thousand percent. If someone's like I can only do this part or I already have this routine going and you can find the link on my Instagram Miss Jenna Willis link in bio.

00:45:05
Speaker 1: Ms Jenna Willis.

00:45:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I first myself actually single forever. This might have missed When I eated my Instagram Mandle, I was like, I think I actually you.

00:45:14
Speaker 3: Maybe should have done m I at.

00:45:20
Speaker 1: I love it. You guys asked.

00:45:21
Speaker 3: A lot of questions, so we're going to deep dive into the bonus and answer those with Jenna.

00:45:27
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much.

00:45:28
Speaker 3: For listening to another episode. Thank you, missus Jenna Willis miss and we will catch you on Monday for the bonus and again Wednesday for a regular old episode.

00:45:40
Speaker 1: Hi guys,