Men in Black with Sam Ike

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Speaker 1: On the Big Dog Cast, the questions asked if movies have women inum, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and best start changing it with the Beck Doll Cast. Welcome to the studies. You're hostening back fast and Jamie loved it to our live show as a Boston from the ours possible. Thanks for having us here and to improv Boston. Yeah. Yeah, we're happy to be here. I'm doing a good job so far. You're killing it. I'm killing it. We're very sleepy. I'm hilarious. Less than twenty four hours ago we recorded another live episode, well, actually like twelve hours. Yeah, we're episode in New York City. I ever heard of it? Bit there and then we slept next to each other on a coach bus. This morning was very intimate. Yeah, it's nice. At least we don't have to share a mike this time. Last night we were scissoring each other in order to share a mike. It was very cute. People loved it. I suggested, what was the name change? The Scissor Friends. That's the news. We're scrapping the bike podcast. Who has listened to our podcast before last time, last time we did our first live episode or in April, and everyone was like, like everyone had wandered into the wrong round. Has anyone not heard an episode of the Bectel Cast before? Oh, I brought my hertphon, got good, let's just okay, Uh, that's okay. We'll explain to you what it did. We sure will. The Bectel Cast is inspired by the Bechtel Test. It's a test that requires that a movie or a TV show or anything with characters in a story has two women. They have to speak to each other. Those two women characters have to have names, and their conversation has to be about something other than a man. Don't pass. It sounds like a joke, but it is just tragically nine of movies in existence. Yes, So we're here to talk about the portrayal of women and movies and how it's shitty and how it should be better. Where the scissor friends, And then we're talking about a specific movie today. Also, the last time we recorded a live episode here, we're like, Hey, has anyone seen Dirty Dancing? The movie we're talking about today, And everyone's like, no, what is this? What's the movie? What's the movie Real Feral Degenerates here last you're returning audience member. It made a real weird last So today we're talking about Men and Black by dam Plaus who has not seen Men and a calling out a name. We're about to spoil every second of it, so I'm sorry. One of those movies that is again on television all one percent of the time. It's well, really quick. I just wanted to check in with our usual stuff at the top, Alfred Billina, check for people who isn't well. We know we do have an upda Alfred Billina. We didn't talk about it at the Scissor Friends last night. Wait what is it? So we normally work with our producer Aristotle, and he was near Alfred Molina a couple of days ago. Yes, and oh wait, no, it's tomorrow. It's tomorrow. I think he's gonna be near Alfred Billina on nine eleven. Never forget Alfre Billina probably doesn't forget nine eleven, one of the many amazing qualities he has. I've sent a lot of confusion from the audience. Why are they talking about Alfred Blayna so much on the podcast about the portrayal of women in movies because Alfred Molina, well he's an ally, he's our greatest ally probably. He's also a master of his craft, and we just respect what he does so much, beginning with the Royal Shakespeare Company in the late nineties seventies. Hey, what's the rules our guest, I'll check it a little later. Okay, oh yeah, without much further ado. So we have every episode we we talked about a specific movie, and we have a guest to help us. Not that we need it, but we're happy to have our guests here. Our guest today, we don't need him. Thanks for voluntaring your time, you dumb bit. He's a friend of our she's a friend of the cast. He's so funny. He's a local comic here in Boston. Give it up for Sam. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love how it just started with we basically we just came on until this guy. We didn't want him, we did not need him. We're just saying we could, we could do it alone. We've never had a live podcast with alive man before. Most of our male guests are kidd evers, but we we we recording studio in our studio. We are studio. We're millionaires. We only recording in the studio that we usually restrain the male guest depending on how threatening they seem with any assortment of Bungee's chains. SAMs says a bungee guy. He's like, yeah, he's not gonna hurt us. I'm easily the weakest man in this block. I don't think Sam could escape the bungees. Well, Sam, thank you so much for being here and for bringing us the movie Men in Black? Tell us why is there a special isn't you chose this movie? What's your history with it? How many times you've seen it? I believe in aliens because of this movie. Okay, I bought into it. I saw it and I was like, that seems accurate. And this is more of like an indoctrination. Someone told me I could talk about in a movie for an hour, and I was like, oh, and I could convince people that aliens exist. Great, I'm really excited to come so Okay, Well, honestly, I think there probably is. I mean, the universe is infinite. Here's what happened, all right, let me start over. Well you know what happened? I don't. I'm looking started at the beginning. Well, when did you see the movie? I saw ninety six when he came out. I think he came out of ninety six ninety seven? Is that you Jamie's mother? She cannot have placed herself in a more prominent places. She basically has a spotlight? Did you know that beforehand? Absolutely? I saw it saves around in It's Just Your Life was ninety five skip ninety six, So you saw it early when it came out, Yeah, multiple times. I loved it. I used to when my friends, I used to try to sapplemtory. Yeahs called what's it called? What's that? They called the neuralize? Yeah, I shot and neuralize my friends. Didn't they have nose neuralized movie? I love how interactive of the show. This it's a live event, dynamic. There's neuralizers. Didn't they have them at like Burger King or something? There was like Burger King and kind of black Boys, and I very specifically remember wanting Yeah it came with that, and it came and then it was a little alien from the video. Yeah. First of all, I love that, Like there's just an era with movies with family friendly rapped theme songs. This is one of the best. It's not better than Wild Wild West. The theme song Wall West his fants house singing I loved l O cou j deep blue c Yeah, I'm a shark Fin song was called shark Fit. Yeah. Have you heard it? Ladies love Cold Chance, I'll check it out. One of my favorite movies, Master of Disguise. They failed, Dana Carr ended Dana Carvey's career. Davia Carby is amazing. He's still alive today given the fact that this movie exists. But he u there was a rap theme song for that, but no one saw the movie and the song was garbage. So I'm always disappointed when a movie has a bad rap song like that was the reason why. Then like Carol, Yeah, rap song and Carol was terrible. It just like didn't Yeah, it didn't fit the movie. Check came rap imagine great with that, I think, yeah, you gotta go. I mean, I think that Carol is going to have a second coming featuring Rooney Merrit and with this a little alien, black alien story, I'm speaking at home man in black. Um, when did you first see it, Jamie? Did you see it with your mom in Well, I certainly didn't see it in I know, I didn't I think I was too young to see it when it came out, but I remember watching it with my cousin on VHS probably some time. I never like two thousands, and I remember I remember seeing the burgs king toys and not knowing what they were, but being like, well, aliens and ghost or for sure real. So I'm gonna want to like, I wish I could get in the ground floor of this. Unfortunately I don't have all my teeth. So so you also are on the pro aliens exist side of things. I feel stronger about ghosts, but I do believe in aliens. Yes, I mean we've already talked about the movie Ghost, so yeah, we that's their ghosts exists. Yeah. What I was gonna say is that I saw this movie in n when it came out, Just to keep clarifying, that's the year that it checking in changes. I was eleven and I had a nextissential next you're having on them right now out a body experience. Were about to say, I was having an existential thank you, that's a girl crisis. Because at the end of the movie, the galaxy and it was on a Ryan's belt and then it's like zoom out and its whole funt and it's big aliens playing with a marble case full of little galaxies, and I was like, my life is so insignificant. And I didn't believe in God after that. So it didn't convince you aliens existed, but it did rob you of faith. Correct. I used to think that. Every time I saw marbles, I was like, oh, I have earth. I'm thought big. I think that is a very interesting male female profestive. Right, Like I don't exist, and it says like I should I do? In the recap, let's do the Men in Black. We opened on Tommy Lee Jones and his older white man partner, and then they're not and they're finding aliens because guess what aliens live among us? But they work for this entity called what is it? Sex? In section six? Section six. In the beginning, the border Patrol keeps going, there is no section six. You're struggling with talking to I think I think that's what it was. Yeah, right, they're the men in Black. The older one guy is like, I'm getting too old for this ship. And then uh so they need to recruit and train replacement. And meanwhile, Will Smith is an n y p D police officer. In plain clothes, like really stylish, like orange baggy windbreaker pants, like stolen from the Fresh Prince said, people are like the fifth bad Boy. It was like Diddy May's baby Will so four. So like if one of them got sick, you could just sub Yeah, he can understand, I'm to die. I'm sorry, sorry, that's anyway. So, so Will Smith is chasing a dude and he's also it's kind of hot. Yeah, but he's also an alien and his eyes blinked that way. Um, no guy running away not hot? Oh well, will smim hot hot. I was gonna get into an argument. I was like, are you serious? I thought you were talking about the alien. So they like pinpoint Will Smith is a potential, like oh maybe he could be a man in black. And then so then Tommy Leader was like, yeah, how about him, and they like recruit him in and then they train him in and he's like, oh wow, there's there's aliens. Okay, I'll just give up the life that I had before, which really wasn't much of one. He had nothing to lose, Yeah, you just had that orange jumpsuit. So then there's this bug who lands on planet Earth and he's caused all kinds of mayhem around New York City? Ever heard of it? And then we gotta get this bug. And meanwhile there's a galaxy on a little cat's collar and they're like, well, what what does Oriyan's belt? That doesn't make any sense. I'm doing an excellent job in this cat. You're welcome, And so they have to catch the bugs bugs after this galaxy isn't it is? Vincent dinafil the book? Yeah, the book takes Vincent not feel skin and where's it? Okay, okay, okay, so really quick, Vincent did not feel hot? Yeah, trying to make sure I was keeping up right. I used to love making that face, the face that I just realized it's a podcasting. I was a face the face I would not have guessed you could have done it. Amazing, Vincent Dina, you put in the time, wait till we do moment jacket? Who would you be in full metal jacket? That character or that? Yeah? I never anyway, So they get the bug in the end, Wait, there's a there's a lady at one point, You're right, right, So all these dead bodies are turning up that are actually alien dead bodies, and this coroner she's like working at the Morgen where are these alien dead bodies? And then a flashy thinger all the time, which is low key gas lighting. And she's cute, she's hot hot, uh and yeah, so she's a character at the end, and she's she's also horny at least pretends to be. It's confused. She points at her vagina at one point in the movie, and it's like just kidding. Yeah, we'll talk about that scene. It's a poorly written joke. It's it's unclear like did she mean it or did she just point her vagina by mistake. I find myself doing that all the time in professional situations, like, I'm so sorry that was in volunteer being a woman in the work. Yeah, I confirmed, I was very There's a scene in the beginning when you first meet her where Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith they walk in and she's talking to just Will Smith and Tommy ly Jones looking at what are the bodies and she says to Will Smith, she says, you know what I like to do when it gets really late here, and then Tommy le Jones cuts in. But when I was a kid, I hid because I didn't understand, like Sacks. I thought she just like lit the body is on fire. I had no idea it was like a sexual man. I was so confused. I was like, why aren't they dressing that the rest? Now as an adult, I'm like, she's saying she fucks the that is she's saying that. I thought she was saying she does something unrelated to the bodies. But now since we've opened up that, what is she doing with those bodies is robbing them? Oh maybe she's maybe she's harvesting their organs. That's savvy. That would be a more interesting character than she is would have been in the market. I don't know. I thought like, maybe she They can't be saying she sucks the bodies so weird, there's no way. There's a lot of sexual innuendos in this movie that don't quite land like we're just like there's a little uncanny valley, like what you aren't like, what are they saying? Do they like each other? Like it's unclear? Is this a romantic plotline? Is well? What was like? And then she's still under value and she's not in the sequel either, right, Well, because they set up at the end because like Tommy Lee Jones is like, I wasn't training a partner, I was training a replacement. And then he retires, which is crazy because it's Will Smith's second day. Crazy. I think you got it. Yeah, So he retires and then Will Smith and Dr Weaver the coroner is like, I've been around aliens enough. One day's worth, that's all. And she ends up being his partner. But it's set up so that like, oh, she's going to be in the sequel, and it can't be called and Black anymore. Psych it's still two men and she's never heard from again. Yeah, he flashy. Think my theory is she turned forty and they're just like wow, because we all know how much people love casting women over forty. They don't. It does not, we don't do it. Let's get Tommy Lee Jones body double. Let's have him Tommy Lee Jones hot in this movie. I'm sorry, it's true. Is he hotter than Tony Shaloub's little head? Cannot get any hotter Tony little Yeah, shout out. Oh. So if we're saying what part in this movie would Alfred Molina have had, because I'm sure he was offered a part. He's a town um could he have done Schaloub's part, or could Chalou's part only have been done by schlu I wouldn't have recast Tony Shalou. Who could we? Who could be? You know? He could have been Tommy Lee Jones. He could have been Tommy Jones. Could have been Ripped Torn, could have been could have been It would have been a good set get out. I always confuse Ripped Horn who someone? I could go either way on with meat love with someone. I feel very strongly. Here's what Alfre William might have been doing instead. He could have been filming Bookie Nights. He could have been filming Anna Karenina. He's so he's so versatile. He could have been preparing for his role in Dudley do Right. The Brendan Fraser one that I think the Brendan Frasier. Is there another It is bred Fer Brendon Frasier. I think's gonna murder. I feel great. I do want to talk more about So there are two female characters and men in black, and just those two and no other in New York City. Yeah. In one of them is Vincent Dinafrio's wife. Her name is Beatrice. Beatrice. I'm just repeating yeah, Beatrice, and she has very minimal screen time, as does the other female character, doctor Laurel Weaver. I'd say between the two of them, they might have an added total of like twenty minutes of screen time. That feels generous. Yeah, there's really when they say men in black, something I wanted to point out about that movies with like men or boys are like yeah in the title are always action movies, superhero movies, exciting movies about people kicking ass. Examples, Men and Black, X Men, Spider Man, That Boys, No Country for Old Men, all the President's Men, a few good men, the nice guys. Nice. Yeah, they're like whoa what fun movies? And then movies with like women or girl and the title are like dramas and like Women, Little Women, twenty and Century Women, The Girl, Mean Girls. Oh yeah, just a really good point that I'm making, Girl Spice Girls, someone participates. Check out our Spice World episode of The Girls Girls. Yeah, reason movie. Yeah, generally they're more about like interpersonal relationships. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I'm just saying like there's a disparity between the two types of action versus like a fluffy or it's about women connecting hate it enalien already, right, women. So that's just something I wanted to share with you all, and you're welcome. I mean it's tricky because this is okay. So this is maybe the millionth time on this podcast that we have come up against a summer blockbuster movie that is pretty well loved. I still enjoy this movie. I think it's a fun block hole written wrong. Yeah, Galaxy, it's fun. A theme song is dope. But they all these movies have the one female character whose main thing is you know, even if she is like to the I guess this movie's credit, which I hesitates, but like, you know, she's at least has a job and she's a woman instead, she's a woman insteps. She appears to know how to do her job until Tommy Lee Jones keeps gaslighting her. That's upsetting, you mean by erasing her memory, Yeah, realizing with her thinking out for burger king. But but she's a character. She's not given a lot of screen time. But it's the problem we always come up against, which is like, there's no one for her to talk to you, There's no other female character, no one for her to talk to even being a scene with like it's just yeah, she's surrounded by dead people. She's yeah, they alive people that's not even alive alive. Well, she apparently works with David Cross, who was like the receptionist of the YEA, what are they talking about? I don't know. Yeah, someone's rule number one of the board. It's gotta be sucking these bodies, right, it's your first aid. Kid. When we see like all the recruits, whenever the recruits, because they're like, oh, these navy guys, these are like these military men. All the people that they're considering for the new men in Black job, all men. Not a woman even considered. You see the scene when we are first introduced to like the m IB headquarters, which basically still kind of looks like the goog and I'm we see the Google Him museum at the beginning, you're like, oh, that's cool, and then you see m I V or like is it the same? Is it back room? Anyways? It could be. There are a few women in that scene, but it's largely men. They're all the aliens. We see all men, no lady, except for like you see like a screen and Will Smith's teacher apart from that are apart from like people who don't have any lines or just like only sort of seen in the background. All the aliens with speaking roles go to men. Big problem in Hollywood. You know we're our female alien protagonists, right pretty five queer sexuality, aliens of color? Where are That's like avatar? Oh yeah, this is why we let the guest pass. There's I have I have something I'd like to address. Please, okay. There's another trope in mostly nineties Arrow movies. Something that terrified me as a child and I still find horrible is there's a little pug in this movie, a little pug informant. They make his mouth move like a person, so that it's like he's a little person. I don't okay, I find it scary. There's movies words because you know, like fast forward five years it's c G I this is some sort of scary practical effect. It looks real. You think they're like hooked up like wires to the dog dog Peanut Butter likes why it's all about she hated freak. I don't like an animals time like they're people. They're not people. There there's that movie Cats and Dogs. That one is the worst because it's all just like Nathan Lamb's voice coming out of a cat and you're just like, no, like it's just scary. It's not. It should be a cartoon. Okay. Also, male dog, there we go. It's yeah again, where are all the female dogs with speaking roles in Hollywood? That dog is so like it. It's what about like babe sweary? No scary, that's nice? Scary? Yeah. The mouth, well, because they're not like really blinking and you're just like there and their eyes are glazed over because they're kind of like edited in post production. I would imagine. I think about it a lot, but there they're not blinking in their eyes or they kind of have like do you ever? Okay, here's something I find scary in real life is when you meet someone they're like, meet my dog, and you're like that dog has people eyes? Yeah? Why the dog got the person's eyes and ready to get them? Yeah, exactly. I think it's like one of That's why I believe in aliens. I think it's like an Edgar situation when they take a dog's body and it's like it's like a vinc and doff Field. There's dog, there's a little little dog dog dog listening. He's doing very A few more points I want to make about Dr Weaver's character. Her dress is insanely short, which is an okay thing if you're a woman and you want to wear a short dress, that's cool. But today pretty much does a little appropriate no out a word place, so she's like overly sexualized for no reason. They developed her character so poorly that she doesn't even get to have a reaction whenever the dude's face opens up and there's like a little tiny alien it is, and she's just like like how is she not? Like what the actual fun? She has no reaction to it, and then like until like maybe thirty seconds later, and she's like I knew it. That is an alien, isn't it. And it's like yeah, no, where can she like what's happening? She's yeah, I mean And And that's another like female blockbuster character thing is like her character changes from moment to moment depending on what the scene required, like that shitty, weird confusing there's a scene I forget what the executive shechine is, but she's talking to Will Smith and she's points to her vagina and he's like well, what do you mean? And she's like no, I was pointing at the floor, like and that serves no purpose in the context of her character. It doesn't make any fucking sense. It's just a bad joke that like the who wrote this, Oh I bet it's uh so Ed Solomon's jerking off at his house, Like I make a pretty late point. It's just like a gross throwaway thing that it's like, oh, here's something I could do with the female character. I forgot to write right well, that scene before that one, the bug comes in and like throws her all around like pretty violently. It's like a pretty alarming to see, like she's a bunch of violences inflected upon her. And then he capt or. He's like still kind of fighting fighting her. And then will Smith comes in and he's like, well, I better hide under this cart and like holds her ankle and she's like you need to help me with this, and Will Smith's like, damn, girl, I kind of drive though it's not a male female. I just gotta drive. That's happen like dead on. I was like, is he here? Yeah? Oh my god. After that we see whenever, like Will Smith is like, oh, I get what's happening, And he's like if you had been coming on to me like a drunken trom day And she's like whenever a woman shows any sign of sexual independence or something like that, which is like one of those lines that we talked about where it's like the writer just be like, oh, here's one example, yeah, like of a like women empowerment, which is not actually what is happening. No, because in the next scene they're like, oh, she's in trouble. Someone saved her. Like there, it's just yeah, she just captured and thrown in a tree. That's a wish. There's a big battle and she's up in the tree. Yeah, nothing like like again it seems like, oh no, we forgot she's in the scene. Um So then they give her the last shot as like a thing, but it's like, I don't know, it just feels so forced totally. Yeah, so that because her character has been developed not at all prior to that, she know how to do with the like shoot the gun. I don't know. I thought the Space it had a nail the Space Space gun, right, Because so that climactic scene plays out where the bug he's ripped out of his vincent Dinofrio skin and now he's a big cockroach dude and he's trying to get up to the spaceship Tommy ly Jones, He's like, eat me, and then he eats him. Funny, So the cody in this movie, you guys giggled, So Tommily Jones was like swimming around in the cockroach monster alien for like five minutes, not drowning somehow. Will Smith is all like, I'm gonna stomp on your relatives. Finally Tommily Jones burst out with his space gun. There's a moment where passing notes answer the cricket the noisy crick is a little one that Will Smith has, and then the big one was called I'll get back to you anyway. So the movie, because like that one last moment was like, oh no, the aliens not dead and he goes to pounce on him, and then dr weavers like no, not today, and uh and she the alien dead again and then she said something like interesting job you guys have. And then we're all supposed to be like you go girl, except no, because her character fucking sexs. Like nineties movies are riddled with you go girl moments like this, and I feel like the only reason they're in there is that like there's some studio meeting where they're like, wait, but how are we going to sell shipped to girls about this movie? And they're like, let the let the lady kick one time. And I first said, look, I can kick too, and then and then we'll put a flower on a T shirt, will throw a lady's face on it five million dollars. And obviously it would have been fine for her to like kick get In fact, I would have preferred her to do more gass kicking throughout the movie. So yeah, she's just only given that one moment. It's all utilitary, like it's just I mean, no, the time was spent developing her character whatsoever, which is crazy because they set it up that she's gonna be the next man. And in Black you Wuldsmith dressed up like Morpheus. Oh yeah, he's got new sunglasses and they're I guess cooler than he's got the Morpheus look. And so the last thing of this movie is really funny because he's like, Okay, it's Will Smith's second day. He's in charge now, and then there's he walks toris dr we were and it's her first day as a man in black and she's wearing the suit and she looks dope, and as Willspenth's walking over to her, she like says loudly a government secret. And it's like it's like an alien and it's like, oh, they're both bad at this. I don't know do they say in the second one why they got rid of her. I'm trying trying to figure because the second one, if you don't know, two thousand two and Tommy Lee Jones is just in it again. What was what was it called Men and Black to That was my first guest, but I don't want to sell him an idiot. But the polster the poster is and then two Roman numeral eyes black, so it looks like men Too Black. We're just the name of my boys to men cover back. Oh. Nick Cannon is in Men and Black Too. Oh yeah, yeah, he's like one of the young guns. I don't even know. This is like a drum line era Nick Can. Yeah, not like scary wizard Nick Kid Nick Cannon today, it's very scary. Black Too also has Michael Jackson. Really, I don't know if I've ever seen Men Too Blacks. He wants to be an agent, and he just keeps Michael Jackson as a Martha Stewart as herself an alien. I know she's as herself as an alien. I think, yeah, she is an alien. She it. I love this movie. It was like my favorite movie for like two years. It's between a discourse moment. Okay, this is the sort of movie where people like it. It's a good movie. People don't necessarily think about oh, you know, it takes a second before you're like, oh, there are no women in this movie. That is strange. We're in a major metropolitan area and there's no women. Right. There's like we could like, like I said, we could have seen any of the recruits could have been like I don't know half of them could have been women. There are women in the military. Uh fucking hate massagey. Thanks. Yeah, in Alien women there have been. They only have the pregnant one. Oh okay, any visual gag. That's that's the only alien woman you've seen it, right, That's another the same moment where Tommy Lee Jones goes up to the car and then he's like, what's going on here? He's like, my wife's having a baby. And then and then Tommy Lee Jones looks in the bag. It's like, oh, yeah, there's a woman giving birth, Like there's yeah, what interesting? I think you know that's a bold that's a bold visual gag. Yeah, she screaming. Yeah, I did not see that she's giving birth to a fucking squid, Like squid things are coming out, But how do you not notice? It's essentially tentacal porn. I mean, I have conflicting feelings about that scene because on one hand, it's like a women's issue is made out to be a joke, okay, but also childbirth is terrifying, So I'm like, yeah, I get it. I'd love to get birth through a squirre someday. Let's just move on right from that, and I'm not talking about any further. It's so weird how like all the men in black are because they have the suit, they automatically know how to do everything. Like it's always like always like okay, hey, just walk in there and tell him you're a doctor because they're gonna believe you because you're a man in a suit. And then yeah, they don't show any badgers. They just walk right in and it's just like, yeah, I fucking hate man. Yeah, they just walk in there like, hey, I'm good at something. They're just going to tell people I'm like what I was like pointing my vagina on accident, and then if you dare question them or don't believe them, they have a gas lighting stick to be like, I'm kind of things I gi Oh. Yeah, this is a triumph for for for young boys trying to learn how to Kivin's Women of Less. Yeah. Don't want to talk at all about the other female character, Beatrice. Yeah, I mean, what's there to say. In the first scene, you don't even see her. You just hear her getting yelled at. Ye. He's like verbally abusing her, and then he comes in he's like sugar, sugar, and she's just like, okay, I'm a domestic person. That's all I could do. Then she gives us chapel and sugar water okay, and she just like when he's like, Sugar, you're not the only one who can do them. I wasn't. I didn't get this email and we were supposed to arrive with it. Yeah, I mean she's like done as rocks and major idiot alert. Yeah. Written by Ed Solomon. To be clear, every time we criticize if female character were actually thinking about throwing Ed Solomon? Whoever? That that is off the building right. He co wrote the first Charlie's Angels I Think, and he might really good. He wrote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted's Focus Journey, The Men of Black Movies, The Charlie's Angels movies, and some X Men movies, Super Mario Good. He started as a staff writer for loa Vernon Surely, which honestly, like, there's no excuse, like you you have written for female characters before. You just are actively like does the world really need welcome? I would expect better from the person who wrote the best Lucy lou movie ever. Why is it Carlos Charlie's Angels. Why can't I just be like three kick ass ladies who don't belong to anyone, like a pretty lunchbox. Yeah, I think that's a fine. I don't. Unsurprisingly, most of the people involved in the production of this movie are men. There is a female producer on the movie, but it's directed by Barry son Enfeld, who directed Get Shorty, various Adams Family movies, Big Trouble, Big Big Trouble with Tim Allen. It was it was a movie about a bomb on an airplane. It was supposed to come out and so at least they was supposed to be September twelve, two thousand eleven back and he got looked back two yes, the year you know you know it was that yes, yeah, not good. Yeah. He directed that one and the Rob Williams Vehicle RV SO another another movie that is feminist. Icon are signed. Can I say know that Danny Elfman score to this movie is like my favorite score of not all time, but of a movie about do so good Daniel Dannie Elfman will be spared. Yeah, yeah, well he'll be spared because we need to get new things time we This movie made a million billion dollars. Yeah, the summer blockbuster that did really well was made by men. There's only men in it. One ladies in it. But she has to pointed her vagina and has to skirt and also was bad at being a man in black. Yeah you can tell at the end or you're like, oh, yeah, she's unqualified like she as is Will Smith. He had one day on the job. Does anyone have any other final points about the movie. It's great film, some issues, got some issues. I'm sure the best out of the three. The Men in we were talking about the seg one side. I forgot we didn't mention that that there was a third right when that's the one I think time travel happens. Yeah, that's still rolling. Yeah, they go like I think they go to like the six season. They go back and then it's like back for something like that. It's like a it's a time jump. Was that one straight to video or did know that? At a theatrical twelve? Yeah, it was like if you put the Terminator plotline with Men in Black, because which should be a winner? That's it was sad. Did you see it? No? Oh god, it's so sad. Did you see it? Did you cry? It's so sad at he it's fucking sad. Man I cried. Sorry. It's like as sad as the first twenty minutes of Up, Like, it's that sad. Like it's that sad. That's that's sad. You have to The ending is just like Jones, you don't care does Tommy ly Jones die? Know what happens is you find out that Will Smith's father sacrifice his life to save Tommy Lee Jones, and Tommy Lee Jones has been like secretly watching Will Smith this whole time, and then you see at the end you see Will Smith as a child hunched over his dead father's body. And then yeah, because this is in the sixties and so and so, he he fucking neuralizes Will Smith as a kid. And it's just like Duke it's and it is an absolute boner killer. It is the saddest fucking thing I know, right, Mrs sad Jack But what the jackhammer? Has that done? The jackman? Oh good, I get it. It had like a sciency name because because the joke was John Lee, Joe says a sciency name and then he goes, no, he's a cricket, and that's like the joke. Hand I think Sam's my new daddy was in the cast. Yeah, we've never got a new daddy's. No, because we have a lot of audience. Should we open it up to any questions or yeah, what do you want? Oh okay, I'll start here, Oh yeah kind of, I'm sure. Hi, friends, Hilma, I was wondering if you were to recast the lead roles with women, how would you recast? Are we going today or were doing in nineties steven nineties? Um? I don't know what do you guys, I'm gonna go with today's people. I would do like Zendia as Will Smith's character. Um anything, Harry Jones, I want our return, that's good. Yeah, I want Laura turned to uh neuralize the tiny Zendia when her mommy. I would love Julianne Moore and Ali Wong. I think that would be a fun. It was like Ripped Horns character. I feel like we need, we need. I'll really qualifies for an all female read. He transsgender. He's so talented. Swinton would be great as Vincent Dinofrios characters. Yeah, I would love that. Let's just do that. Start to go find me. The work was Super Troopers to did it? Did any other have some more questions? Yeah? Alright, I'm Kyle off of the tilta Swinton point. Apparently they almost cast her as Penny Wise and the most recent it would have been way better casting anyway. Point I was going to make was have any of you seen under the Skin because Scar Joe is a great female alien protagonist. I haven't seen it. I want to declare as a woman I have it. Yeah, so sorry, but we will anyry question, um so Lara from Boyle was jackr. Rab's character, and I was just wondering if she's still alive. I wasn't trying to be stupid. Wait, I got her. I mean, yeah, that was a while ago. She because it was she was Sarlena in the second when she was the bad she was the battie. It was her, and she had Knoxville Johnny knoxfilld was her like number two. You know. I was reading Chris o'donald, who's Robin and the Schumacher Batman. I love Tigerland, I love the Albert thousand before I didn't see that one. That one I didn't see is Spiler sold I read on IMDb that Chris o'donald was almost Will Smith's character. It was. It was Crystal Donald, David Schwimmer, and Will Smith. And I think if one of those two guys had got it, him and Linda Florentino would have kissed at the end of the movie. And I think because it was I think that big of a budget of a movie, they weren't going to have an interracial kiss. Oh interesting for ninety I mean that that checks out on that my mom, right, it should have been okay and they didn't think it would go I love intertional relationships to literally just keep telling Sam she's singles. I know, we don't need to go over your relationships as literally in the fetal my fine end of a movie, like in Going with the Wind, they didn't know if they were going to go. Frankly, what are I talkingational? I didn't know will work? Who knows any other questions? Yeah, it's going on. I just wanted to come up. Get that. Caitlin has a master's degree for Thank you the help countries. Do you know that I hate to bring it up? Want to bring it up? I do? And we are at Boston. Yeah, so uh any be you o kids down here? Oh yeah, yeah, so shout out to my bu heads you yeah, be you calmuck? Yeah our sponsored Hey, let's talk about whether or not this movie passes the BACKTI test. No, well, nothing to ask. There aren't even like two women in the same room at any point. Sometimes we have like near like we're oh, kire and I y talked to a lady. We think she had a name. Did she say something? Oh? I guess. Priates of the Caribbean is a bad movie, this one. There's not even the potential, there's no discussion to be had. It doesn't pass. But let's rate the movie on our nipples scale. We rate every movie on our nipple scale five nipples total. You can attribute the nipples to whoever you want, but the nipples are on the merit of how well the movie treats women, on how much you like the movie. Right, So I'm gonna give the movie like a half nipple because the portrayal of women is laughable. They get almost no screen time. There's two female characters as opposed to dozens of men speaking roles in the movie, and they're so human alien all different types of men. Yeah, and the spectrum of men is represented the very few women, and the ones that we do see are so poorly developed that it's frankly embarrassing. So it rates very poorly on our nipple scale. And the half nipple that I'm giving it does belong to Oriyan the cat. Don't forget that cats do have eight nipples. This has been cat facts with Caitlin. I have nipples, Greg, can you malke me? Parents? Yeah? I know, speaking of amazing segment. I also give this movie half a nipple just because I want to give the nipple to something. It seems like a fun thing to do in a web show. Otherwise I would give it no nipples. It's stupid. They take the ore one female character, then they have her say girl power, and then they throw her in a tree. They just are battering her around like a ping punk ball. They're like, she has a job, but she has to look like a like it just if it's stupid, bad, not for for women, but a fun movie and worth your time. I'll give half my half nipple to pregnant backsy Tentacles too, but I don't have to Sam. I owe the movie I half Noble despite it being a wonderful, league done sci fi comedy action buddy movie, and it's an enjoyable for kids and an old people alike. I would say ultimately it's portrayal woman was a paper thin and that's being generous. And I just expect more fun movies that I think that should be acceptable to everybody, should also represent the world that we live in. Sounds you're joking, I genuinely, I genuinely mean that. So I give you have a half apple, and I give it to Linda Florentino for you know, just doing the best that she could, you know, with with being given because I actual yeah, because I have to actually had to do Dogma that's seems like a long shoe directed by feminist icon Kevin's face. Oh yeah you and then she turned forty and was, you know, sent away. But I want to point out that in Dogma, Alan Rickman doesn't have a dick, and any time that you see a man with no dick, it's a good day for me. Have you do you? This is not gonna be a fun way for us to in the podcast. We should send it there. Have you seen the movie with Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page where she says to stay oh yeah hard Candy and Patrick Wilson shines. It's like she's really and she's like Ellen Page is like four years old and she's just like, that's not your dig. It's the greatest movie of all time. Highly recommend watching Patrick Wilson get castrated over and over. I watched it with my dad. Underrated performance by Sandra Oh in that film as well, she's she's great sideways, Yeah she's I realized said that same about her and Hard Kid. I was like, oh, I don't have enough. The statement conclusion Sam, thank you. Yeah it wasn't Lara flym boyl I'm sorry that is quite already that though. Thank you so much for being here every where. Can people find you online and follow you? Oh? You follow you on Twitter at h at the Sam like th Sam, like Twitter handle great. You can follow us at Bactel Cast on Twitter and Instagram, and you can go to our website backtel cast dot com. It's soon gonna say I don't like man, come on. Yes. Oh, thank you so much into improv Boston and Boston Post being on UM and thanks for coming out and uh see you some other time. Yeah, see you later