140 | Client vs Customer and Delivering Value: Redefining Parent Relationships in Play Therapy

0
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,300
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

1
00:00:04,309 --> 00:00:08,109
Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

2
00:00:08,319 --> 00:00:10,579
Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

3
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:12,729
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

4
00:00:12,739 --> 00:00:15,189
a master class in child-centered play therapy

5
00:00:15,260 --> 00:00:17,540
and practical support and application for your

6
00:00:17,549 --> 00:00:19,459
work with children and their families.

7
00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:24,370
In today's episode. I know I promised last time that I was moving on to filial,

8
00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:28,059
but I'm actually going to do one more parenting podcast.

9
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,500
Sorry for not telling the truth, but I have a reason.

10
00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:33,979
So I've been doing a lot of discovery calls for

11
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:37,810
people interested in the Play Therapy Professional™ Certification program.

12
00:00:38,409 --> 00:00:43,419
And I'm hearing the same thing over and over and over again when I'm asking

13
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,790
about what they feel

14
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,110
they would like the most training in the most help with

15
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:52,750
where they feel their skills are lacking. What I'm consistently hearing

16
00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:56,669
across the board is being able to communicate with parents

17
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,840
and what the

18
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,939
system looks like to do. So,

19
00:01:02,799 --> 00:01:06,900
and I know that we've spent a month and a half or so on talking with parents.

20
00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:09,099
So I'm hopeful that that has given you all

21
00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:12,000
some indication of what that looks like. But

22
00:01:12,209 --> 00:01:15,069
I want to hit home another point that I don't think,

23
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,029
I think I might have mentioned it a few times, but

24
00:01:17,139 --> 00:01:19,040
I'd like to dive in a little bit deeper

25
00:01:19,559 --> 00:01:22,300
because I think when we talk about parents and

26
00:01:22,519 --> 00:01:24,650
making sure that they are engaged

27
00:01:25,269 --> 00:01:26,580
that they have buy in

28
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:29,650
that they truly understand the process.

29
00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:32,220
They are willing to be patient with the process.

30
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:36,580
They can handle an uptick in behaviors or regression

31
00:01:36,769 --> 00:01:39,040
or things getting worse before they get better.

32
00:01:39,269 --> 00:01:43,580
There's all of these considerations for the why behind

33
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:44,779
sharing with parents.

34
00:01:45,419 --> 00:01:50,080
But I think we have to have the right mindset and this is where I think I've

35
00:01:50,199 --> 00:01:53,129
missed the opportunity to really drive this point home. So

36
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:57,389
one more bear with me. I promise we're moving on to filial next. But I want to

37
00:01:58,010 --> 00:02:00,589
make sense of this a little bit. I think this will be really helpful.

38
00:02:01,099 --> 00:02:03,379
And my disclaimer is that

39
00:02:03,849 --> 00:02:06,529
I run a private pay, private practice

40
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:10,710
and I know that a lot of the people in my six figure play therapy coaching program,

41
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,800
a lot of people that I'm speaking with about the Play Therapy Professional™

42
00:02:13,809 --> 00:02:14,910
certification,

43
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:19,820
many of those individuals and probably many of you as listeners

44
00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,399
are not necessarily

45
00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:24,259
private pay and you're not necessarily private practice.

46
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:26,520
So there are lots of you working in schools,

47
00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:29,479
there are lots of you working in agencies and organizations,

48
00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:32,789
there are lots of you working in private practice that accepts insurance.

49
00:02:33,259 --> 00:02:34,919
So I do want to make it clear,

50
00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:40,919
my entire system is based on a private pay, private practice model

51
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:42,639
and with

52
00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:47,020
the involvement of insurance and with working in a school,

53
00:02:47,029 --> 00:02:49,100
the dynamic is inevitably different.

54
00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:52,029
So I do want to acknowledge that and it's not to say that

55
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,710
the process of scheduling consultations and communicating

56
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,300
and the value of those things.

57
00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:59,169
It's not to say that changes

58
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,589
when it's not private pay, private practice.

59
00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:06,179
But one of the things that we're able to do is offer it for free

60
00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:10,539
and that becomes part of the perceived value that they get.

61
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:14,639
And in other environments, I know that that's not necessarily the case

62
00:03:14,839 --> 00:03:18,919
and or without them having monetary investment in the process,

63
00:03:18,929 --> 00:03:22,449
sometimes they're not emotionally and mentally involved in the process.

64
00:03:22,460 --> 00:03:26,169
Either so often school counselors complain that they can't get

65
00:03:26,179 --> 00:03:28,360
parents to meet with them no matter what they do

66
00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:31,929
because their child is seen for free and it's when they're at

67
00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:35,210
school and they really don't care to know what's going on.

68
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:38,559
They just are happy to let the child receive play therapy.

69
00:03:39,029 --> 00:03:42,179
So those are some of just things I wanted to throw out.

70
00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:45,550
I do realize that the environment and the pay structure

71
00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:49,690
influences having those parent consultations, et cetera.

72
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:50,570
But

73
00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:54,809
moving forward with the idea that best practice

74
00:03:55,389 --> 00:03:57,710
is having an initial parent consultation

75
00:03:57,929 --> 00:03:58,690
to

76
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:03,300
start the process before you even meet with the child for the first time.

77
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:07,460
And then every five sessions with the child scheduling a parent meeting,

78
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:11,800
knowing that those are best practice standards in the child-centered

79
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:12,500
model.

80
00:04:13,029 --> 00:04:14,979
I want to share a mindset thought with you.

81
00:04:15,759 --> 00:04:19,140
This is something that I find actually very interesting,

82
00:04:19,470 --> 00:04:24,299
Eric and I kind of had a little revelation a while back about this

83
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,809
and it has transformed the way we talk

84
00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:29,940
about this and communicate with clinicians about this.

85
00:04:30,410 --> 00:04:31,420
Here's the idea

86
00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:34,790
we work with kids

87
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:36,230
who are our clients

88
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,899
and I know that I've mentioned this before.

89
00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:43,540
We're in a very unique situation where we're not working

90
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,279
with the person who pays us as a client.

91
00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:49,600
So that creates a very unique dynamic,

92
00:04:49,609 --> 00:04:52,200
little bit of a barrier and obstacle to overcome

93
00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:57,440
because we pour all of our time and energy into our relationship with the child,

94
00:04:57,989 --> 00:05:02,839
but that's not the customer. So here's where this unfolds

95
00:05:03,489 --> 00:05:07,519
our client is the child, but our customer is the child's parent.

96
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:11,440
So when we talk about customer service,

97
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:15,440
when we talk about an excellent customer service experience,

98
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:19,510
when we talk about having a customer service mindset,

99
00:05:20,079 --> 00:05:22,739
we talk about pleasing our customers

100
00:05:23,299 --> 00:05:27,220
over delivering to our customers. Exceeding expectation, ex

101
00:05:27,339 --> 00:05:30,809
my gosh, exceeding expectations of our customers.

102
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,529
What does that mean?

103
00:05:33,029 --> 00:05:34,709
That's all geared to the parent?

104
00:05:36,089 --> 00:05:37,869
So when we understand

105
00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:38,989
that

106
00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:40,720
the client

107
00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:42,329
and the relationship we have with the

108
00:05:42,339 --> 00:05:44,929
client is paramount and it's hugely important,

109
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,559
but it is equally important to have a relationship with our customer,

110
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,459
which is the child's parent.

111
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:57,829
So if you are having issues with getting, buy in, getting patience,

112
00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,179
getting understanding,

113
00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:02,440
if your parents are pulling the child before

114
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,859
their natural termination.

115
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,839
So they're only 12 weeks in and the parent

116
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:10,049
decides they're not going to bring the child anymore

117
00:06:10,899 --> 00:06:15,260
if they continue to complain about all of the problems and the

118
00:06:15,269 --> 00:06:18,429
issues and the behaviors and they don't think play therapy is working

119
00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:20,709
there

120
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:23,350
presenting to you

121
00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:24,760
their pain points

122
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,320
and part of customer service, whether your insurance, whether you're school,

123
00:06:29,329 --> 00:06:31,940
whether you're private practice, this, this is universal

124
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,429
customer service

125
00:06:33,619 --> 00:06:35,920
is doing everything you can

126
00:06:36,149 --> 00:06:38,239
to prevent pain

127
00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:42,559
to the customer or to fix pain for the customer.

128
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:44,489
So

129
00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:47,290
maybe one of the reasons

130
00:06:47,459 --> 00:06:48,250
that

131
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,829
you are struggling in your communication with parents

132
00:06:52,769 --> 00:06:54,750
is your mindset needs to shift

133
00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:57,309
to delivering value

134
00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,920
to your customer, which is the parent.

135
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:03,309
If you don't sit down in that parent consultation

136
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,739
and provide them with value

137
00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:09,369
if they don't walk out of there and they don't

138
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:12,220
feel that they've gained something from that meeting with you,

139
00:07:13,329 --> 00:07:15,049
that was a missed opportunity.

140
00:07:16,089 --> 00:07:18,989
You don't just sit down with a parent in a parent consultation

141
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:22,700
and say, ok, well, let me tell you what we've been doing together in play therapy.

142
00:07:23,429 --> 00:07:25,079
That's not value for the parent.

143
00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,369
That's just trading of information.

144
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,279
You want the parent to walk away

145
00:07:31,779 --> 00:07:33,130
with new tools,

146
00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:35,000
new skills,

147
00:07:36,299 --> 00:07:37,640
new ways of thinking,

148
00:07:38,549 --> 00:07:39,920
a new perspective,

149
00:07:41,119 --> 00:07:42,390
a new approach,

150
00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:45,709
a new level of understanding

151
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:48,470
you have to give them value.

152
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,859
So part of the parent consultation process

153
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:57,100
is 100% value driven.

154
00:07:58,649 --> 00:08:03,279
And when a parent feels the value of meeting with you,

155
00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:06,700
they will also feel the value of you working with their child.

156
00:08:08,149 --> 00:08:11,399
It can't be flippant, it can't be haphazard, it can't be

157
00:08:12,619 --> 00:08:15,250
lackadaisical and you're not really that concerned.

158
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,079
It's just I have to check a box that I have to

159
00:08:17,089 --> 00:08:19,200
meet with you so that I can tell you what's happening.

160
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,880
You need to help them feel that as they walk out the door,

161
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,730
they feel better than they did before they came in.

162
00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:31,890
So they have a new outlook, they have a new

163
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,090
impression of what's happening.

164
00:08:34,739 --> 00:08:38,539
And really let's let's get down to the heart of what we're doing here.

165
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:40,028
We

166
00:08:40,239 --> 00:08:43,109
are always trying to communicate

167
00:08:43,587 --> 00:08:45,119
hope and transformation.

168
00:08:46,349 --> 00:08:47,619
To families

169
00:08:49,669 --> 00:08:52,080
that is the most important thing

170
00:08:52,419 --> 00:08:53,419
that we can do

171
00:08:54,289 --> 00:08:57,229
is help them feel that they can have hope.

172
00:08:57,809 --> 00:09:01,380
And that transformation is the outcome that

173
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,869
we will arrive at in the near future

174
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:08,669
when we can change our mindset.

175
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,010
And when we can approach everything from a value

176
00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:13,409
laden perspective

177
00:09:15,299 --> 00:09:18,659
and that we instill hope and transformation

178
00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:22,380
in our parents when we have meetings with them,

179
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,460
then all of a sudden

180
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:26,780
they

181
00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:31,380
start changing their behaviors and attitudes and investment.

182
00:09:32,419 --> 00:09:34,799
If you can clearly communicate

183
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,479
the importance

184
00:09:36,739 --> 00:09:38,500
of what is taking place

185
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:40,299
as well as

186
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,650
what they can cling to

187
00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:47,530
in the meantime, while we're not quite there yet.

188
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:50,020
Now, all of a sudden

189
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,950
they are going to be more patient, they will have more understanding,

190
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,239
they will be more bought in and invested.

191
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,000
They won't pull their child early.

192
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,679
They will be understanding of behaviors when they come up. Why?

193
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,299
Because you've taken the time

194
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,979
to not only communicate those things to them,

195
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,799
but you've also given them value along the way

196
00:10:13,099 --> 00:10:16,510
because it's all about the customer service experience

197
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,340
and our parents are our customers.

198
00:10:20,479 --> 00:10:23,809
So if you have been historically treating parents as

199
00:10:24,059 --> 00:10:27,700
means to an end, possibly or an afterthought

200
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:28,840
or,

201
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:30,619
a

202
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:34,679
necessary evil, I say that kind of tongue in cheek. But

203
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,880
I know a lot of therapists that are like, oh my gosh,

204
00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:39,409
if I could just only work with kids and never deal with their parents,

205
00:10:39,419 --> 00:10:40,900
my job would be so much better.

206
00:10:41,299 --> 00:10:42,830
I've heard that a lot actually.

207
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:45,969
And look, parents aren't always easy to deal with. I get it.

208
00:10:46,849 --> 00:10:50,250
We have some doozies right now. Oh my word, I could tell you stories,

209
00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:51,229
but

210
00:10:51,469 --> 00:10:54,909
I know that dealing with parents, it's not always easy.

211
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:57,979
But if we don't understand

212
00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:00,030
that they are our customer,

213
00:11:00,210 --> 00:11:03,429
then we've missed the opportunity to deliver

214
00:11:03,919 --> 00:11:07,859
the value, the worth, the hope, the transformation,

215
00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:10,640
all of those things. And I assure you

216
00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:12,969
parents feel the difference

217
00:11:14,219 --> 00:11:19,140
when you approach every interaction, every meeting, every text, every email,

218
00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:20,719
every lobby exchange

219
00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:22,659
with

220
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:24,669
I'm delivering you value

221
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,619
and I'm clearly communicating to you what's happening

222
00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:33,380
and I'm making sure that you are the most prepared you can be

223
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:38,710
to take us on this therapeutic journey. When you bring your child to me every week,

224
00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:42,000
it's a totally different engagement.

225
00:11:42,979 --> 00:11:47,760
Then if you're really only focused on your work with the child in the playroom

226
00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:49,859
and they're your client, I get it.

227
00:11:50,479 --> 00:11:51,409
We are client

228
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:53,900
centered, right? Child-centered, client

229
00:11:54,059 --> 00:11:54,460
centered,

230
00:11:55,099 --> 00:11:56,869
we have to be focused on the child,

231
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,989
but we can't miss the opportunity and the necessity

232
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,250
to focus on the parent as well.

233
00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:07,549
So client is the child, customer is the parent. You have to have that mindset.

234
00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:09,390
That has to be a huge shift

235
00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,940
in the way that you think about your work as a child-centered play therapist.

236
00:12:13,429 --> 00:12:15,640
So I hope that that is helpful to you.

237
00:12:15,809 --> 00:12:19,599
And I know I deviated from my, we're moving on to filial plan, but

238
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,940
I had way too many conversations in the last week about this very topic

239
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:26,609
that I really felt compelled to make sure that that

240
00:12:26,619 --> 00:12:29,619
was clearly communicated as we wrap up the parenting section.

241
00:12:30,219 --> 00:12:30,919
So

242
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:35,039
please keep that in mind. Your customer experience

243
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:39,119
is really, really that important and that is all geared toward the parent.

244
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,919
All right, so

245
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,919
please visit playtherapynow.com

246
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:47,369
if you would like information about everything that we're doing,

247
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,369
you can get on the newsletter, you can sign up for the CCPT Collective,

248
00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:54,130
you can sign up for the filial training that is coming up at the end of March.

249
00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:58,960
If you need CEUs and you need APT credit and you need

250
00:12:59,159 --> 00:13:03,159
knowledge about how to conduct filial therapy specifically with

251
00:13:03,169 --> 00:13:06,450
Landreth and Bratton's child parent relationship training manual.

252
00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:09,450
Then this is going to be an awesome opportunity for you.

253
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:12,489
So make sure that you sign up seats are limited.

254
00:13:12,599 --> 00:13:18,359
APT restricts how many live attendees can be on any training at any given time. So

255
00:13:18,539 --> 00:13:21,960
make sure you go to playtherapynow.com, you can get caught up on all of that stuff.

256
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,809
You know, how much I love y'all. Thanks for spending time with me each week.

257
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,130
We'll talk again soon. Bye.

258
00:13:27,219 --> 00:13:31,239
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

259
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:33,369
For more episodes and resources.

260
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:38,270
Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com