Dating & Sex with Love Island USA’s Calvin Cobb and Eli Benjamin

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the Give Them the Law podcast where She's not here, but we are.

00:00:13
Speaker 2: We are in Who is we? Easton?

00:00:15
Speaker 3: Were Burningham?

00:00:24
Speaker 1: No one will I put myself on the back all the time because Gigi won't do it for me.

00:00:29
Speaker 2: Speaking of Gig, how was your weekend with Gigi and Law? I saw you guys had family in town.

00:00:35
Speaker 1: Yea brother, sister in law, niece, nephew, and it was good family time.

00:00:40
Speaker 3: When shoe shopping with my nephew, it's a what is it called? Now, I'm drawing a blank.

00:00:47
Speaker 1: It's a burger place, shake shack. No, it's like easy something easy Street or something. Okay, it was like a top tier burger.

00:00:57
Speaker 3: But ye done nothing slaps like burger.

00:01:00
Speaker 2: She wrote, that's right as you can hear.

00:01:07
Speaker 3: Please welcome Eli and Calvin.

00:01:10
Speaker 1: If you'd like to snap for quiet snap, thank you, but please introduce yourself.

00:01:17
Speaker 4: Who are you do your thing?

00:01:19
Speaker 3: Bro?

00:01:20
Speaker 5: My name is Calvin Cobb and I am a fan of Burger, She wrote, We have specified here. You might have seen me on season two of Love Island us A. I am absolutely ecstatic to be here.

00:01:35
Speaker 3: Hey, thank you for joining us. Thank you for taking time out of your day to do this with me, of course.

00:01:42
Speaker 2: What about you, sir?

00:01:43
Speaker 4: What about me?

00:01:44
Speaker 3: Sir?

00:01:44
Speaker 4: Hello everybody, my name is Eli. You have not seen me on Love Island?

00:01:48
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but you might please put his resume in a.

00:01:52
Speaker 4: Few times every season Survivor as well. Somebody put me on something scratch, there you go, so you wouldn't see me on that. But my name is Eli. Live in la for a minute, so you might see me bouncing around. I did watch your episode though, yesterday for the first time.

00:02:08
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, that's Moira Squirman.

00:02:12
Speaker 4: Throw in that seat. I mean, there's no spoilers, right, this is years ago.

00:02:15
Speaker 3: This is this is years ago. I mean COVID that's a popidemic. I need to do in Vegas.

00:02:23
Speaker 2: I need to watch Love Island. I'm gonna do my personal intro of these three just so you guys know. So I love the three of you. I love these three guys because I know Eli because he worked across the hall from us when we were over at our other offices in West Hollywood. I know Calvin through Easton and these three guys are like, I'm gonna talk to little ladies for a second. If you ladies know how men can be, but these three are very I just like their friendship because they're not afraid to be like vulnerable, and they're honest and they're such chill people to hang around. And I know we said that on the podcast Stories and we posted for you, for all of you men and women to ask them questions and I'm very excited for them to answer. So all of this to say, I'm very happy you three are hon It's like a trio.

00:03:17
Speaker 1: That's why we I think I'll get along with each other is because we're honest.

00:03:20
Speaker 4: With each other.

00:03:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, great energy.

00:03:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not afraid to say anything that's not that. Everything on my mind is said. Good cry we hugged right, we really do.

00:03:29
Speaker 3: Is it.

00:03:30
Speaker 5: We're grateful for you as well being here. Thank you, thank you for having us joining, Thank you La La.

00:03:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, but the weekend was good. Law is doing amazing.

00:03:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, her, she's the We had ocean and a babysitter in London, my niece, my brother's little girl, so that was amazing.

00:03:50
Speaker 2: How old is London? London? Is you guys? I know everyone was shocked being like, wait, Lala has a sister in laws, Easton married. Easton is not married.

00:03:58
Speaker 3: Yet but now not yet yet.

00:04:01
Speaker 2: It's their older brother.

00:04:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's my half brother. It's my brother from my dad's first marriage.

00:04:07
Speaker 2: His wife.

00:04:08
Speaker 3: Yes, So they have a.

00:04:09
Speaker 1: Daughter, yame London. They have a daughter who Yeah, Cheryl, who you've heard of. She was in the delivery room. They have a daughter, London. So we have two and she's fourteen.

00:04:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she was in she was That's a perfect age for babysitting.

00:04:22
Speaker 3: I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know either of their ages.

00:04:24
Speaker 2: Really.

00:04:25
Speaker 1: They've grown up quick and I have no idea. My nephew is turning sixteen. He's about to drive vehicles.

00:04:30
Speaker 2: Wait, London. And there's a brother, Drayson, Drayson Okay, his birthday was Friday. Yeah, you guys went to saddle Ranch.

00:04:37
Speaker 3: Saddle Ranch.

00:04:38
Speaker 1: Probably couldn't ride the bull. You had to be eighteen, But you can be hammered as shit.

00:04:42
Speaker 3: You have to be eighteen to rive seem to ride the bull.

00:04:44
Speaker 4: Injured, eighteen to get hammered a shit too.

00:04:47
Speaker 1: No, but like you can ride it twenty one and hammered as hell. It's like, why do you sixteen and sober? I trust more than twenty one and a drunk dude on it.

00:04:54
Speaker 2: That's true, right, Yeah.

00:04:56
Speaker 3: We draw the line these days? Where do we draw the line?

00:04:58
Speaker 2: Have either of you el Calvin ever been to Saddle Ranch? You guys go out a lot. Tell us about your social lips.

00:05:04
Speaker 3: I have missed her out.

00:05:06
Speaker 4: He is, he is late got Honestly, I've been a little too out. The summer's been a bit much.

00:05:14
Speaker 3: But it's good.

00:05:14
Speaker 4: I've been to Saddle Ranch.

00:05:15
Speaker 2: I have you have?

00:05:16
Speaker 3: I have?

00:05:17
Speaker 2: How many times give us a ballpark in your life?

00:05:20
Speaker 3: Not that many?

00:05:20
Speaker 4: Maybe like six?

00:05:22
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:05:22
Speaker 4: Okay, is that a lot conservative. I've read the bull maybe twice successfully.

00:05:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, hand up?

00:05:31
Speaker 4: Hand up? We ass on the ground, hand back up, asked back on the ground.

00:05:36
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:05:36
Speaker 3: There's one thing.

00:05:37
Speaker 1: We saw some girl with no strength in any part of her body and know how like.

00:05:44
Speaker 2: Tips, Oh yeah, she.

00:05:47
Speaker 1: Just would fly down. She smacked her head on the bull and she'd lay there like lay on it because she couldn't get back up. So the bull would flip her again and then she'd just sit back. But because it it's like controlled by somebody, So he wasn't angry, but.

00:06:02
Speaker 3: Like she smacked her face so hard. Me and law were dying. We did I didn't look.

00:06:10
Speaker 1: I was too busy laughing, and I didn't want to look and laugh because I felt bad.

00:06:14
Speaker 4: It's not about how many times you smack your face in the bowl, how many times you get up?

00:06:20
Speaker 2: Baby?

00:06:21
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:06:22
Speaker 2: Have you ridden the bull? Calvin?

00:06:23
Speaker 3: I've been one time, Saddle Ranch, and I have not.

00:06:28
Speaker 2: I have somebody maybe had a little too many drinking that was.

00:06:31
Speaker 3: Actually sober.

00:06:34
Speaker 5: And it was it was no, this was this had to have been when I lived here last, like in twenty eighteen.

00:06:41
Speaker 3: So that's why the memory is.

00:06:44
Speaker 4: We didn't know that.

00:06:45
Speaker 1: You knew that Combin Easton, Yeah, I knew he lived here, then moved to Atlanta and then moved here.

00:06:49
Speaker 3: Yeah it's the Midden.

00:06:51
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Maryland here now right?

00:06:55
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:06:55
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:06:55
Speaker 3: Oh yeah this guy? Yeah, how long have you lived here?

00:06:59
Speaker 2: Wow?

00:06:59
Speaker 3: Can thank you so much?

00:07:01
Speaker 4: I've been here for a decade, decade six times. It's Saddle Ranch.

00:07:05
Speaker 2: Are you yes? Are all three of you single?

00:07:07
Speaker 3: No?

00:07:08
Speaker 1: Novin is going to be a good which has got some answers because he'll be the relationship guy.

00:07:14
Speaker 2: Okay, hold On also just hit six months ahead, six months what relationship? Congratulations you thank you?

00:07:21
Speaker 4: Trying to get like you.

00:07:22
Speaker 2: Bro Okay, back at it.

00:07:25
Speaker 3: So happy six months, Happy six months, Thank you so much.

00:07:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am single. I just got out of a four month.

00:07:32
Speaker 2: Thing, situationship.

00:07:35
Speaker 4: I feel weird saying situationship in my old ass age of thirty.

00:07:38
Speaker 3: It was.

00:07:41
Speaker 4: Ok.

00:07:41
Speaker 3: It was like a ghost relationship. I had no idea he was dating.

00:07:45
Speaker 4: She went to another school, so you guys don't know her right right?

00:07:51
Speaker 2: That?

00:07:51
Speaker 4: But otherwise single, but it was tough. That was like a That was the longest thing I've had in many years, actually, that four month really? Yeah?

00:07:58
Speaker 2: Oh so you're you're not a long term relationship guy? Or are you? And just haven't been in a while.

00:08:05
Speaker 4: I haven't had a girlfriend in about ten years since I've moved to La.

00:08:09
Speaker 2: Why why do you think?

00:08:10
Speaker 4: I don't know? We should dive into that today.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: Okay, that's exciting.

00:08:13
Speaker 3: I think you might need a therapist around for that one, are you guys?

00:08:16
Speaker 4: You guys offer that? I haven't sure we can?

00:08:19
Speaker 2: I mean, what do you think we're here for?

00:08:21
Speaker 3: I can do my best. I'm not a voice of reason, though.

00:08:24
Speaker 2: How long have you been single?

00:08:26
Speaker 3: I've been single for I think like four years now.

00:08:30
Speaker 2: Okay, do we enjoy being single? And I say we, because I too am single, So this is do we enjoy this?

00:08:37
Speaker 4: It's perks.

00:08:38
Speaker 1: I just feel like I like going throughout the day not having to like entertain something uh huh something.

00:08:45
Speaker 3: He says someone.

00:08:48
Speaker 4: The pressure for someone's emotions, that's actions can sometimes be a lot if you're not fully in it, right. But it's nice to have a person, you know, it's nice to have your person.

00:08:59
Speaker 1: Wow, you're saying fully in it. I've never been in fully in it and since my last one, but I.

00:09:03
Speaker 3: Like i've been. I've talked to girls, but I've never felt like fully in it.

00:09:07
Speaker 2: But don't you think that's dating? You know what I'm you guys wrote in so many questions, are you okay for us to get Let's just get in because I want to hear all three of your own damn advice, your opinion.

00:09:19
Speaker 1: And before we get into these questions, let's get a quick up day from Lalla.

00:09:23
Speaker 6: Hello, my loves. I miss you guys so so much. Here is an update on life postpartum with baby Sosa. We're getting hungry again. My life consists of feeding, burping, putting her down for a nap, and by the time I do all of that, it's time to start all over again. I've put makeup on today that has not happened in quite some time. Also, what I have learned about Sosa, she has zero chill patience she gets from her mama, we have none. She will come off of the boob on accident like lose it out of her mouth. She starts screaming bloody murder and thrashing like jazz. So if that's any indication of how she will be in life, she will get what she wants, that is for sure. Like I said, I miss you, guys. I have one week left of this life and then I'm back at it, so I will catch you next week.

00:10:20
Speaker 1: Thanks a lot, and we can't wait for you to come back and meet the room so I don't have to run this shit.

00:10:25
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm not kidding. This might be the most questions, one of the top of a questions I've ever seen. This is very exciting. A lot of you just want to know, like what Easton and Eli and Calvin think. So, okay, this is what.

00:10:48
Speaker 3: Do I think about what.

00:10:50
Speaker 2: We're about to get into it? Okay, okay, okay, I'm gonna start off strong, start off.

00:10:55
Speaker 3: Strong, and the anxiety.

00:10:58
Speaker 2: Are men attracted more two looks or personality? I want all three of you to answer, honestly.

00:11:05
Speaker 4: The initial attraction's got to be there on looks. I think that's we all know that. I mean, that's how conversations start, that's how romance usually begins. But I do think a lack of connection personality wise does lead to a quick fizzle. You got to have something that, like when you're not together and you're texting and you're calling, and you're not physically looking at each other and like dreaming into each other's eyes, there's got to be something to keep that going. Now.

00:11:28
Speaker 3: I've like the.

00:11:29
Speaker 4: Girl that I most recently dated was very, very, very funny, and I didn't realize how much I valued humor in a relationship because like, whether you're down or you're not down, it's just like really nice to be able to just be laughing your house off just throughout the day via text. And she was also gorgeous, which helped that situation.

00:11:46
Speaker 2: Did she call this off or did you this? Four month is this?

00:11:50
Speaker 4: I would say that she called it off okay, but probably because I was not ready to give her what she needed at that point. You know, we had a conversation at the three month period being like thinking about this kind of this, like I feel like artificial timeline these days, that things have to turn into something real, and we talked and wasn't ready to turn into that for my own reasons. Then she ended up just getting out to protect herself.

00:12:13
Speaker 3: Hey, and you.

00:12:14
Speaker 4: Are yeah, and it did, like that hurt me despite knowing that like if I really wanted to fight for it, I could, but still she ended.

00:12:22
Speaker 2: It completely, Okay, do you have any regrets?

00:12:25
Speaker 4: This is very fresh, This is a couple weeks old, and it was a very last week was a very tough week for me, honestly, sorry, even though I felt like I had somewhat of control and power in the situation. It's tough losing someone you know after four months. It's tough to just like lose a person that you know you know, And so she ended it.

00:12:42
Speaker 1: Has the week or any the couple of weeks, has that changed your mind of you being ready?

00:12:47
Speaker 3: What were you not ready for?

00:12:49
Speaker 4: Just had a lot of stuff going on in my professional and personal life, and I feel like this is a very bullshit cliche answer that every guy has probably told somebody, but like it is true, like if I had a wall up, and I don't think I ever allowed myself to really knock that wall down for this person and get to that point. And so it was just like I don't think I allowed myself to be vulnerable in that way until honestly, like the last night in which I was able to really show her my true emotions. But still she just deserved more from what I was giving her at a four month period.

00:13:15
Speaker 2: I think that was a very honest and respectable answer. Thank you for that. How about you, Colvin, what do you think about looks versus personality?

00:13:23
Speaker 3: I think that both are important for me.

00:13:27
Speaker 5: I think that especially growing up as a you know, as a guy, you're like, oh.

00:13:32
Speaker 3: My god, I gotta have the hottest, the hottest.

00:13:35
Speaker 5: Girl in it, and and that's that's the most important thing. And then as you kind of age, you kind of realize, like sometimes I would say, even personality is a little bit more important because I mean, looks are going to fade and that one little thing that you might think is a little out of whack can either be fixed or it's just not gonna matter here in forty years when you're you know, fat and wrinkly and old as well as and so to be able to have that that connection is really important when it comes to the personality. Like you know, I was saying, it's you got to be able to laugh with the person that being said. Obviously you want to look for the best of both worlds, which fortunately I have been able to acquire. Not a car, but you know, yes, consentually's actually I've both come to an agreement.

00:14:30
Speaker 3: No, but yeah, so I'd say both.

00:14:32
Speaker 5: But yeah, looks catches the eye first and then the personality keeps it going.

00:14:37
Speaker 4: I will also say, though, what I really love in a woman that I'm dating is confidence, and sometimes that does coming with her. I was going to say, that's monk that she's attract iron So you know, someone being hot and a bad bitch like I love that because like I also love them being confident and that comes in insecurity issues sometimes well, confidence, I feel like makes the girl even more attractive. You can be you know, uh in my like you could be basic in your eyes, but like, if your confidence is there, your aura is what brightens that like you in that room.

00:15:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I will yes, I will say too as a woman and I'll say this, like with my relationship with Kyle, because I was with him since I was twenty five, when I was more insecure at the beginning, less confident, that led into like jealousy and like all these things that were just lots of fights. And when I became more sure of myself and more confident, then it was like, oh, chill and happy and like I felt good and then he felt good. So I think confidence plays a role in a lot of things.

00:15:38
Speaker 3: For sure.

00:15:38
Speaker 1: What I look for is looks first, obviously, catch the eye, like you said, and I look for a personality and just confidence in the room to brighten the room itself, but to put her in a certain light. And we all know that one girl that has done that, you know, no matter who it is, So that would be for me, just a confident woman. Yeah, and that confidence brings attraction as well, you know.

00:16:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love that. Okay, you guys, Next question, Okay, why is it so hard for men to share their emotions with their partners? This is obviously biased, but I do think a lot of people feel that way sometimes about men. It's very difficult for a lot of men to be vulnerable and emotional with their partners.

00:16:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never had that issue, and I've always been honest, but I feel like it's because the reaction you've got being honest has made you never want to be honest again with partner, and so I feel like, if you can't go to your partner and be honest, it's because they made you feel uncomfortable being honest, so now you feel like you can't. And at that point, as a conversation, okay, because I've never been in that.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: Boat, have you, Guys?

00:16:54
Speaker 4: I think there's definitely a fear amongst a lot of men of being vulnerable and opening up so that they can shut down, especially like these days with you know, general toxic masculinity stuff. Like, I think a lot of young boys are trained that they do have to hide those emotions and feelings. Despite the fact that I'm friends with a lot of women, and I'm sure we'll dive into that in some later questions. I have a feeling but like I like all the girls that I talk to will say that they are absolutely not turned off by a guy who's showing emotions and feelings towards them, But somehow it's been ingrained, and I think a lot of young boys' minds that it's going to make them look bad and make them look weak, and like, I mean, look, I cried for the first time in like ten years two weeks ago, So I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm mister fucking emotions over here. I was like crying. I was like, is this? What is this? What crying is?

00:17:40
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:17:40
Speaker 4: Can you care for some deeply? I can't really breathe on my nose. It's just like, is this regular?

00:17:45
Speaker 2: Right?

00:17:45
Speaker 3: I've cried on this podcast.

00:17:47
Speaker 4: Nobody makes good emotion tears. But when I did, it was it was very freeing, you know, And I can say that it definitely I do not think turned off this person that I was talking to. If anything, it felt like we made breakthroughs, even if it was a little late. But still, I don't know. I'm new to it, but like I do think it's very important. It's a vulnerability thing. It's shutting down your wall thing. You know. Yeah, this man be crying though.

00:18:10
Speaker 2: You'd be crying. Calvin, could you me.

00:18:15
Speaker 3: All the time? Could you repeat the question please? Yes?

00:18:19
Speaker 2: Could a sentence?

00:18:23
Speaker 3: Why be sad? Broad a good shower?

00:18:27
Speaker 4: Crist The day started like that, it doesn't count if you cry in.

00:18:30
Speaker 2: The shower, right, Why is it so hard for men to share their emotions with their partners.

00:18:37
Speaker 5: I also think that it has something to do with a level of commitment and trust and the relationship. I think that in the last couple of years, I've I've come to find that a lot of times I'll kind of distance myself emotionally in order to protect myself in order to Okay, well, if I share this and get that vulnerable, I'm giving this other individual and this human a look into something that they could use to weaponize against me, right, which obviously isn't the ideal, and that's what you wouldn't hope would happen. But I do think that's an aspect of why, especially men are more inclined to kind of hide those emotions or not express him as fully because of that protective aspect of their vulnerability.

00:19:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I think that there's obviously it's a relationship based years ago with my one boyfriend who I was with for like two years in Nashville. I oh, have done so many awful things. But he let's get into that into that sit But he was like he basically entered he was like six years older than me, way more emotionally mature. He entered our relationship being very honest, right, being like, oh my ex and I ended because I cheated on her with this person, but I regretted it. He was very honest, and instead of sort of taking that like I would now and be like thank you and hearing it being like you've grown, I really did, I think eventually weaponize it. And it made me insecure because he said, like he cheated, So I was like, okay, so this guy cheats when like that's it's so tricky because like he did cheat, but he was saying how he was growing, and so then when he would go on tour and stuff, I was insecure and I'd be like, yeah, but you cheat, like you told me you cheated before. What if you cheat again? And we ended up breaking up because a lot of things. I just I did that, like I did weaponize. He was trying to be honest, and so I do think at the end of the day, I mean, we weren't meant to be for sure, but at the end of the day, it is better to be honest. And like you said, like, yeah, it can be used against you. And but like being honest, being vulnerable, being emotional. I definitely appreciate now more than I ever have.

00:20:57
Speaker 4: I think for sure, keeping things hidden is never going to help long term. No, it might make things easier in the beginning, and it might make like this facade of like everything being chill, but like down the line, it's going to come out regardless.

00:21:08
Speaker 3: But then you have to be all right with whatever you're told to forgive.

00:21:12
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, or just taken into account. Well, okay, yeah that do I want to be with someone that has cheat in the past, you know.

00:21:19
Speaker 2: That's very true. That's why a lot of couples therapists say, like when couples go and I just know this because mine and Kyle's couples therapists said this, when couples go to a therapy for cheating. If you this is a lot of them, not every but it's like, when you choose to forgive the cheating, you have to move on. You cannot keep going back because it's like then it just becomes toxic, you know. Okay, So there are a ton of questions like this. This is the most recent one up top, but basically, can men and women be friends? This says can a female and male both married with children actually be best friends? So my overarch in question for all all three of you, can men and women truly be best friends?

00:22:05
Speaker 3: I think so sexual.

00:22:07
Speaker 1: I think though, it's when you've had sex and you're best friends with them.

00:22:12
Speaker 3: I can't get by that.

00:22:15
Speaker 1: Like my if I was dating a girl and her best friend was a guy, but they had even one time they slept together, I can't get behind that.

00:22:23
Speaker 2: Okay, even a drunken night, MISSA can't.

00:22:26
Speaker 1: Who's to say they're not going to get drunk again hanging out with each other as best friends and it's going to happen again or they were.

00:22:31
Speaker 2: She was like Easton, I regretted it so much. I'm like disgusted.

00:22:36
Speaker 3: I don't know.

00:22:36
Speaker 1: And that's for me mentally, I don't think I could get by it because that would eat me alive. Even if it was she didn't, Yeah, it would eat me alive.

00:22:43
Speaker 3: So I have to dismiss myself from it. Yeah, so I.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: Think you can. For me, you can be a best friend with opposite sex. But I think there's a line that I have, and it's not having a past with that best friend.

00:22:59
Speaker 2: And that's about you know about yourself. That's great to have for you.

00:23:02
Speaker 3: It is.

00:23:03
Speaker 2: I do feel that Eli may have a different opinion, but do you or do you not? Eli?

00:23:07
Speaker 4: My best friend is a girl. You guys all know her.

00:23:09
Speaker 2: Yes, she's great.

00:23:10
Speaker 4: Her name is Jill. Shout out Jill. And so I think I have lots of female friends, and I think it is so super normal and totally healthy to have female friends. I know that that's hard to be. Like I meet people when I tell them I'm friends with the girls, and they're like bullshit, like that you want to fuck them or they want to fuck you, and like that can happen for sure. But I think it's totally reasonable to have good friends that are women.

00:23:32
Speaker 3: That's fine with me.

00:23:34
Speaker 1: Have I want my girlfriend to have many of guy friends, not a guy best friend, sure in my opinion.

00:23:41
Speaker 4: And that's just me and the insecurity thing of having your girlfriend with the best friend that she's at sex with, Like, that's valid.

00:23:48
Speaker 3: That's that's my that's my line, and that is.

00:23:51
Speaker 4: Like a lot of times people ask me like, so me, I'm this, We'll skip okay.

00:23:57
Speaker 2: So it is valid that people get you know, insecure about that for sure. But that's good to know like, that's your boundary, and you could also be like, well that's my boundary. Not everyone has to have that.

00:24:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's fine. You can still have that as a best friend. I'm not going to take your best friend. I'm going to dismiss myself from this situation, right.

00:24:15
Speaker 2: Can I ask you Eli before we ask you Calvin the same question? Has there ever been in the years of you being friend? Because I'm someone who is very much has been best friends with guys I mean jiu jitsu for crying out loud like and I also am currently I feel best friends with Kyle, and I hope it stays that way. So have you ever been able to and obviously we don't need to be specific hook up with just like fun hookups with your girlfriends and then be like, Okay, that was fun and carry on as friends.

00:24:49
Speaker 4: What I don't do that?

00:24:51
Speaker 2: Okay?

00:24:51
Speaker 4: I very much like when I meet someone, they're either in a friendship bucket or a romantic bucket. And people that go into the romantic bucket they can easily after that that's done become friends again. But when I've placed them into the friendship bucket, they don't then go to a romantic bucket and like, I'm not someone that like I need like an immediate attraction. I need like immediately be like I'm into you, and so like once we're friends for me. And I know most people won't want to hear this, but like, I don't unfriend zone people into a romantic situation.

00:25:21
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so like I feel like I do. Oh my god, I do in that freak.

00:25:26
Speaker 1: College Yeah, but I yeah, but your mine, I'm possessive. I think it's easier, like one one at a time, one at a time, please too.

00:25:37
Speaker 4: I think it's easier for women to grow and gain affection towards a male friend than it is for me to all of a sudden see a friend and be like, you know what.

00:25:45
Speaker 1: Actually really, but I can't hook up with a girl and then know she's hooking up with other guys and still hook.

00:25:51
Speaker 4: Up with her.

00:25:52
Speaker 3: A lot of I think that's I'm like, yeah, that's yeah, well.

00:25:54
Speaker 2: See Eli or Calvin Chicken has had no your friend.

00:25:59
Speaker 1: And I.

00:26:03
Speaker 5: Think that it can't. I think there's a couple factors here. I think that if it's like a long term friendship from childhood, like almost brothers sister, right, and you know, nothing's ever happened, and they're just buddy buddy, and I know the question was talking about being married and stuff like that. Absolutely, I think they can be really really close friends. If I would probably be in the vein of Easton if there has been something in the past they suck together or something like that. No matter what the circumstances, it is harder for me to get behind that.

00:26:36
Speaker 3: And what they did isn't wrong, like that's not yeah, Like that's fine.

00:26:39
Speaker 5: Especially if you weren't even in the picture or something like that. But I can't get by yeah, And that's something I think that kind of what Eli's talking about is regardless moving forward in those relationships, there needs to be firm boundaries set of like, hey, we're friends. And I think that if it's like if Eli's single, it doesn't really matter too much if he does have a girl best friend or not. But if he gets into a relationship with a girl, then in my opinion, that relationship would need to be not reassessed but readjusted and say, you know, if I'm dating someone, then I'm going to be that main person or that priority in their life.

00:27:21
Speaker 2: If that makes sense, one hundred percent supersede the friendship for sure.

00:27:24
Speaker 4: I'd like to add that I'm very aware that male and female friendships can be problematic towards relationships, and I'm very happy and grateful that my best friend that we have never engaged in any type of romance or sexual intimacy, because I already know that when I do get a girlfriend who turned into a wife one day, like, that's already going to be a pain point. The fact that my best friend's a girl, Like I know that I'm aware of that, and so being able to like look at my girl and say, like, we've never slept slept together, like that's fucking huge, huge, And it would be a much more difficult pill to swallow for her if I was like, oh, yeah her, Yeah, we used to speak.

00:27:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, best friends.

00:28:01
Speaker 2: Right right? What else we got you, guys? This is a good one again. Same opinion on porn, how it's affecting the modern men's sex life.

00:28:12
Speaker 3: I feel like it's.

00:28:13
Speaker 1: Ruining the girls are watching the porn, and it's ruining it for I can't give what you're looking at in porn.

00:28:18
Speaker 3: Okay, we're watching it. I just need to get off.

00:28:21
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm expecting you guys to go ape shit in the bedroom.

00:28:24
Speaker 3: So, but you guys are the fucking ones ruining it for us. You got fucking fifteen inch dildos, you got.

00:28:31
Speaker 1: I don't know, dudes with eight packs, twelve packs, and I'm over here like I just look good, but.

00:28:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, I ain't packing that. So the women are ruining it.

00:28:41
Speaker 2: So you think women are watching porn and expecting you to look and perform like these male actors, I don't, yes, actors, yes, and you got it like that? Okay, I okay, So you you don't expect when you're with a woman in the bedroom some sort of performance, or you haven't watched porn and then hooked up with a woman and she.

00:29:06
Speaker 3: Is your body and it doesn't need to be great.

00:29:08
Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be there, Okay, Okay, I'm just happy to be there.

00:29:14
Speaker 2: Do you think have you ever been with a woman that you were like, oh, she's very much faking this enthusiasm, whether or not, it's.

00:29:21
Speaker 1: Pretty sure every time. Yeah, there's no way I'm bottoming out.

00:29:25
Speaker 3: We all know.

00:29:25
Speaker 2: Oh my god, he's say, I know.

00:29:28
Speaker 3: But thank you for letting me be a part of of your body of the bed. Yeah, okay, part of the party, you too.

00:29:36
Speaker 4: I think the accessibility to porn, combined with the ability for a younger generation to be on dating apps and stay away from actual interactions with human women in real life, has probably had a bad effect on allowing kids growing up to be like just to not know what's real and to know what's fake. Just like to not have these physical and like real interactions and intimate relationship with women, for sure, is going to hold people to not really understand how to deal with these irl interactions. I think porn as well as like, I think the younger generation just with all like the Andrew taits and these like streamers, sneak o and all these people that like talk poorly about women, have almost as bad of an effect on their mindset as the actual literal porn, which has been around like forever, Like you know, finding playboys in your dad.

00:30:24
Speaker 1: I know, I was finding playboys in my dad's closet and on huh, good, look at them, drop them and leave, you know, nice? Nice, But if they really they really do they listen to these people and they like start emulating how they were speaking about women too.

00:30:40
Speaker 4: And like all like calling women's sluts and for just like like body count conversations is so stupid and toxic. But like the youth like grow up on this. Like I feel bad for women that need to date these younger kids, right, the younger generation who have to date these boys who like don't really understand life. You know, all they see is just be like she's had sex three people? No, right, It's like I'd prefer experienced woman.

00:31:05
Speaker 3: You know, it's free.

00:31:09
Speaker 4: I don't think sex is bad. I'm just gonna say we'll dive into that a little bit.

00:31:13
Speaker 3: It's like you've read the questions.

00:31:16
Speaker 2: Bad sex bad? Okay, great? Is there has there ever been Have you ever found yourself in a time in life where it's been like you have been maybe consuming porn and then you like maybe at the beginning of having sex, and then you start to experience women and you're like, oh, it's not necessarily like what I've been watching or no, do you have a good relationship with that?

00:31:38
Speaker 4: Not me personally again, I think I'm a little older, but like I haven't watched porn in maybe five months or so at this point, potentially because I was in this relationship or a situationship whatever you want to call in which just wasn't really necessary a very healthy sex life. And like the other day, I was like, am I gonna have to start there?

00:31:57
Speaker 3: You are?

00:31:58
Speaker 1: Let you know you're gonna be watching portant buddy. Yeah, you ready to get the fingers type? And I want you it's been a week for me. Families in town.

00:32:07
Speaker 2: You gotta I want you to answer. Calvin and I have a follow up question on.

00:32:11
Speaker 5: Porn, Okay, I I would definitely say that I feel that porn has had a negative impact on just the stigma around sex as it is, especially in a Western, a Western civilization, sex is something that is not openly talked about as much as like European countries or stuff like that, and so people go to the Internet to try and find especially when you're younger, trying to find some answers or something, Yeah, some answers of what this is. And then a lot of times.

00:32:46
Speaker 3: Like you know, saying it it.

00:32:48
Speaker 5: It affects the confidence of an individual to have meaningful intimate interactions, whether it's having a conversation with a girl or just you know, being in in the bedroom. And I think that it definitely you look at it from a scientific standpoint, the dopamine and all the different negative effects that it has on our brain is definitely damaging. And so I think even to his point of, you know, it's been five months, I think that especially when you are in a healthy relationship, that that hopefully would not be present the same time, I'm not here to tell someone do or don't watch porn or what you want to do in between your you know yourselves, but I do think that that should be something that should be openly talked about in a relationship.

00:33:38
Speaker 2: Yeah. Good. I think as a woman, we a lot of us women just because I've had these conversations with my friends, have watched it, especially when we first had sex, and we're like, how is it supposed to look? And it's it's almost been like, oh, you're supposed to perform, it's supposed to be this, and you're supposed to make these noises. Once I finally and like late twenty started getting in touch with my sexuality and like, okay, what am I supposed to feel? What do I and really not focusing on like performance and more like what do I like? What is my partner like? Then you start then it's way more enjoyable and it doesn't look like I mean sometimes if you're having a wild night, it can look like the porn.

00:34:18
Speaker 1: But like I read have did you ever watch it with your partner? Like my ex and I used to watch porn and be like all right, let's try.

00:34:25
Speaker 3: Yeah I never turned out the same, but boy did we give an effort.

00:34:28
Speaker 4: What about like making your own porn and watching that with a partner because.

00:34:31
Speaker 2: That's a good time, that's fun, which is well, it will get it cam Cord. Yeah, so yeah, I think that for me, I've said it on the podcast before. I'm not I'm not a big fan of porn only because now being thirty three, I watch it and my first thought is like, I hope that woman is doing it out of choice and like she's happy, and if she makes just like one out of it, yeah, like one sad. Look, I'm like, oh, someone needs.

00:35:03
Speaker 3: To get I know.

00:35:05
Speaker 2: Sometimes yeah, so I'm watching porn.

00:35:10
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just like.

00:35:11
Speaker 4: A house in the valley. I don't know, I can't really tell where it is.

00:35:15
Speaker 5: Last last thing I will say about that, I do feel that now more than ever, it definitely has the industry. The sex industry has definitely allowed individuals that do want to participate a more a safer place to do that and to you know, whether it's through only fans or whether it's through I'm not shouting out any you know, sites or anything, but like to be able to do your own content and do stuff within your own comfort and like to your point of, well, I hope she's all right and she's not doing this out of you know, Oh, I have to like it allows them that ability to do it on their own.

00:35:52
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:35:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a great point. Okay, the good one. What are your ex when dating a woman or let's say, when dating or looking at a potential partner meetings?

00:36:10
Speaker 1: An it for me is like somebody who is trying to be like too much, Like you're loud, you try to insert yourself in conversations all the time. Like I like a quiet, confident woman. So my ach is like just like a very loud girl.

00:36:28
Speaker 2: That's right, Women, shut up, you don't deserve to be speaking.

00:36:31
Speaker 3: You don't just kidding, thank you, you got it. I feel like just that's it.

00:36:37
Speaker 1: Just like that's for men too, Like I just don't like loud, but like that's just my IgG But like for me, like that, I just like.

00:36:44
Speaker 3: Confidence and confidence walks silent.

00:36:46
Speaker 2: I get what you're saying, like the one the obnoxious A little.

00:36:49
Speaker 1: Like an obnoxious quirky if you want to put it that way, Like I that's my itch is a quirky personality.

00:36:56
Speaker 2: Do you say quirky? No?

00:36:58
Speaker 3: I think is quirky quirky first quirky? Or you say c O r k y q U A r k y or q u R quirky quirky. I think we're both words.

00:37:12
Speaker 4: I say quirky like I'm a quirked up white boy.

00:37:15
Speaker 3: You know. It's like I'm going off.

00:37:17
Speaker 1: Like one like video I saw and the kid is like, he goes, I'm quirky and the dad goes shut up, and that's you and I don't. I just I don't like a quirky personality. It's an it for me, no matter what gender you are. Yeah, but yeah, that's my egg is quirky.

00:37:36
Speaker 4: There you go, he hates some quirk.

00:37:38
Speaker 3: I got one.

00:37:39
Speaker 5: Yeah, hygiene, I feel like that should just be.

00:37:45
Speaker 3: Hygiene is probably my number one.

00:37:48
Speaker 4: Okay, And what do you.

00:37:49
Speaker 2: Do you mean all of it? Do you mean oral oral hygiene?

00:37:53
Speaker 6: No?

00:37:54
Speaker 3: I got where you're going from. I I like, I like a woman that spells takes care of it. Soft skin, soft skin. I like a girl who takes an hour routine for bad you like that. I like the one going to bed with all the all the oil. Yeah, because then sometimes.

00:38:10
Speaker 2: If you don't look like a snail on your face before bed, ladies, you're not doing it right right.

00:38:16
Speaker 3: That was my favorite thing with my ex.

00:38:17
Speaker 1: She just was in bed watching like a TV show just with nighttime routine, just soaking.

00:38:23
Speaker 2: Wet on her face. Just look like shell. Okay, very hygiene, yeah, okay, that's number one. If bad hygiene, it's like a turn off the ten.

00:38:32
Speaker 5: It bread like breath, oh breath bo I'm just I can't fourteen girl.

00:38:39
Speaker 3: With bad breath.

00:38:41
Speaker 5: I have a very sensitive snaz. I have a bloodhound. Can't do it.

00:38:44
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I love that. I'm Hygiene's number one for sure.

00:38:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I gotta go off on that as well. Like my type is a girl that looks like she smells good. We've talked about this, Like ideally I.

00:38:56
Speaker 1: Felt that I'm not kidding you, I've looked across and seen a girl and I'm like, I know, she smells good.

00:39:03
Speaker 2: Wait, this is interesting. Looks like she smells looks like she.

00:39:06
Speaker 4: Smells good, like looks like she's gonna I'm gonna walk over and smell like candy. Maybe not candy, you know, maybe a moment loral, maybe like a floral and nice like spring mist spring miss.

00:39:16
Speaker 2: We're talking back and body.

00:39:17
Speaker 4: Works, talking about the virus. I'm a simple guy, number six on the rag. But like same thing, like hygien anything also goes into just like taking care of yourself. Like you know, we're all at the age they were at right now, not old, just regular.

00:39:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, regular.

00:39:34
Speaker 2: You know we're young, we're young.

00:39:35
Speaker 4: Young, yeah, but like I take care of myself, you know, like I like general health and wellness and so like I drink, I do drugs, I do everything. Not right now, I'm taking a month off Congress for me.

00:39:46
Speaker 3: Bro holds up.

00:39:50
Speaker 2: He's like where the fucking snaps?

00:39:52
Speaker 4: Like like I like someone that's like healthy takes care of themselves, you know, like I've done the whole thing where like my partner just want to like smoke weed all day and just like order like pizza and chicken nuggets and like we're off that, you know what I mean. So like someone that like takes care of themselves. I think hygiene goes in with that. I also, this is just a personal pep beeve. I don't like the smell of wine on somebody's skin, on their skin.

00:40:16
Speaker 3: Like bathing like skin.

00:40:17
Speaker 4: Like if you drink enough wine, like I can like smell it through, you can your body.

00:40:22
Speaker 1: Bottles are hanging out with three bottle VICKI people wine.

00:40:28
Speaker 4: I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's like how I've gotten to this point, but like they're very specific. Itck And I'm not going to tell everyone to stop chricken wine because everybody loves wines.

00:40:36
Speaker 3: Don't drink too much around this man, don't chicken around me, you know, stop hanging out.

00:40:42
Speaker 4: It's like some natty orange wine. We're in La, you know what I mean. It's some efferves and biodynamic, a little crunchy little to it, you know what I mean, pulling up a cho you know. But I don't know. That's like a personal thing generally, just like taking care of yourself is very important to me and to like I think to Easton's point before, like you want a woman to be your piece. You know, that's a very cliche statement, but like when it comes to the whole, like it's not like you're not looking for a quiet woman who's no. Yeah, of course, but you're looking for someone to find some like some comfort and to find some peace and to be able to relax around them and have not everything be a big deal or everything be like a fighter stuff.

00:41:17
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, thank you for saying that you got me.

00:41:20
Speaker 1: No you for clarifying mine at somebody would have taken it.

00:41:24
Speaker 4: And also, just like good.

00:41:25
Speaker 2: Taste, bad taste, in style.

00:41:28
Speaker 4: In style, in esthetic, in appearance. We've joked about this before, but like, I hate when a like a girl's Instagram story, as fucked up as that is, will turn me off of her.

00:41:38
Speaker 1: Really he's attracted to like an Instagram page.

00:41:42
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm attracted to what's on the page. I don't care what the page looks like.

00:41:46
Speaker 4: I'm a very aesthetic visual person. I went to school for like video photographer. I used to be a photographer, and so like, art and design is very important in my life, and so it would only make sense that it's important in what I look for in a partner that they have a similar eye. So like, if you post Instagram story it's got some weird border around it, Go bye, bit I'm out you like, Yeah, that's like a zoom out, like a little twist.

00:42:09
Speaker 3: He has no other line.

00:42:10
Speaker 2: But you better stop zooming out with that twist, ladies and get eli.

00:42:17
Speaker 4: You have a twist in the never.

00:42:19
Speaker 2: Mind in the bedroom. Chee likes a little grabbing twists, but not on the inter.

00:42:23
Speaker 4: Not on the Instagram story?

00:42:24
Speaker 2: Are you all three of you? You meet? Ten out of ten? Woman looks pretend your single here, Calvin looks personality ten out of ten. You go on her Instagram page, It is all selfies on the main grid. How do we feel?

00:42:37
Speaker 4: Don't care at all?

00:42:38
Speaker 2: Love it all selfies, no friends, no nothing.

00:42:40
Speaker 3: You want to know what I look for? If I if I go to like.

00:42:43
Speaker 1: Your Instagram page and I go to your tags photos, then you have none.

00:42:48
Speaker 3: That's when I know you're sketchy.

00:42:49
Speaker 1: Red flag, red flag for sure, because you don't whoever has posted you. You don't like the way you look in that post, so it's not on your page, but you don't want anybody to see it.

00:42:58
Speaker 2: That team.

00:42:59
Speaker 1: So if I go to with girls page, yeah, and I go to her tag photos and there's none, I don't trust you.

00:43:07
Speaker 4: Not only with what they're doing wrong.

00:43:08
Speaker 7: It's how they're with, how they look at what they're doing, where they out partying.

00:43:12
Speaker 3: You know, they could tell.

00:43:13
Speaker 7: You, oh, I'm at home doing whatever, chill oh, but their friend tags them on Instagram.

00:43:17
Speaker 3: They're out at there. You get you know, I don't know, I like it, you don't care. I love his line is Instagram? What are you talking about?

00:43:29
Speaker 4: Confident?

00:43:30
Speaker 3: Bad bitch on Instagram?

00:43:31
Speaker 4: You got an Instagram full of pictures of you? That means you like you. I love an ego. I love self confidence.

00:43:35
Speaker 3: That's but I love an ego with friends.

00:43:37
Speaker 4: And like, we're also in an age where, like especially in La, everyone kind of has a personal brand. So if that tag photo doesn't fit in your personal brand that you're working on, fuck it. Keep it off the page.

00:43:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the different brand.

00:43:48
Speaker 4: How about you calls a woman?

00:43:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what do you feel? You go on the page. It's all selfies, every single one, not a single one that's of a sunset or your friend.

00:43:58
Speaker 3: So I'm exposing myself.

00:44:00
Speaker 5: I don't think I have on Yeah, well I but that's also I mean there's reasons.

00:44:08
Speaker 3: It's your portrait.

00:44:09
Speaker 5: It's not like it has gone, it's it's undergone. Many different stages stages, yes, and there was a point where it was okay, you know, friends and this and that, and then you know, it turned to more okay, strictly modeling, and then you know, more reality TV and then now like acting and so it's gone through these stages, and especially when branding, I think that it's important to to say does this line up with my brand?

00:44:36
Speaker 3: And yeah?

00:44:37
Speaker 5: I think that especially for me, is where I am like, I love my stories and I can post on my stories. I post my friends and all these different things on my stories.

00:44:46
Speaker 3: So I think that wouldn't.

00:44:48
Speaker 5: Be as big of a red flag for me if there was just selfies and just stuff of them. But I'd definitely be interested in, you know, their stories, their highlights and even talk to them like you.

00:45:01
Speaker 3: I don't do that. Yeah, I don't know how this is.

00:45:04
Speaker 2: You have a great grid. It is a lot of you, Calvin, but it's not all of you. No, you have like artsy like.

00:45:10
Speaker 3: Oh that's true that you know some detailed shots.

00:45:13
Speaker 2: Detail shots people give you justin Bieber, I bet for looks. Huh yeah, come on, are you joking this photo?

00:45:21
Speaker 4: Let's see that's Beabs right.

00:45:24
Speaker 3: In the trap. Bro. That really is.

00:45:26
Speaker 2: I was like, why do you have Justin Bieber on your grid?

00:45:28
Speaker 3: Oh that's a huge believe.

00:45:32
Speaker 2: Are you kidding? This is Bieber? Okay, anyway, go to Calvin on the.

00:45:35
Speaker 4: Path if you want to check out I'm looking for I'm looking for Calvin and all my girls.

00:45:40
Speaker 2: You know, you're looking for a bit of Calvin and all your bit of short hair. Committed man, he's not open to a relationship, but you can go gaka. Okay, Okay, this is a great one. And I love this one because we talk about it all the time when laws on here are men intimidated by a woman making more than them, meaning more money? And how do you guys each feel about I feel like.

00:46:07
Speaker 1: If it's no, I'm not intimidated unless she like keeps fucking pinning it against me.

00:46:14
Speaker 2: Using it against you.

00:46:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Like if you belittle me because of it, then y'all I'll have a problem.

00:46:19
Speaker 1: But I don't have a problem with somebody making more money than me, like my significant other, not at.

00:46:24
Speaker 2: All, okay, And it's not going to make you feel like lesser than threatened or she suggests like let's say you guys have a kid, and she goes can you I make the money? Can you stay home maybe and be a state of dream?

00:46:37
Speaker 4: What a fu dam that would.

00:46:39
Speaker 2: Be just like but you got it, Like I need food ready when I come home, Like this is me just like a housewife, a house husband. Yeah you're down, but then your passions, I don't know, I'm taking it really far him No.

00:46:52
Speaker 3: I mean no, honestly, I would.

00:46:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing that because I would like, I would do whatever the I had to do if we had kids, school and every time, like in my free time, I would try to find something that I was passionate about to follow to make money.

00:47:07
Speaker 3: And yeah, I wouldn't mind.

00:47:09
Speaker 2: Okay, that's great.

00:47:11
Speaker 3: I would just try. I just would have to do something for me. But I don't care.

00:47:15
Speaker 2: I love this generation of men. But let's hear your answers, because I feel like anyway, go ahead.

00:47:21
Speaker 5: I think that especially when it comes to marriage or in a relationship, it's like it's ours, like we're building something together. It's an empire that we're building, and so what needs to be done needs to be done. And so it's like, yeah, hey, if you're having this run of success and you're going off, you're going crazy, I'm here for you. What do we need and let's boom boom boom, and then it's I think this even outside of just relationships, but like friendships, it's like, hey, you know, if someone in your circle is winning, you're winning, and so they're winning, they pull you up, you win, you pull them up, and so you do what needs to be done.

00:47:59
Speaker 3: I do think it isn't.

00:48:00
Speaker 5: Important, though, to not lose one's identity, is to have those passions and to be able to say, hey, I can do this for you one. These are the things that are important to me that I want to continue on while you are like a given to Yeah, while you're while you're going off on all these things, I'm here to support.

00:48:18
Speaker 3: What do you need?

00:48:19
Speaker 5: This is what I need and as long as you communicate on that properly then.

00:48:23
Speaker 1: Because after Eli answers, I do, I want to ask you the add on of it.

00:48:27
Speaker 2: Okay, and that's not health baby, right, thank you, thank you, Eli.

00:48:33
Speaker 4: Great question?

00:48:34
Speaker 3: Is everybody I have to make more than her? No?

00:48:38
Speaker 4: I mean model, So my type besides women that look like they smell good, are women that are out of my league. It just is what it is, and I don't think that's worked out for me in the past. But just like it is what.

00:48:48
Speaker 1: It is, Like you like chasing a girl that's like got her shit together, chaotic.

00:48:53
Speaker 4: But I like girls that are better than me and so naturally, especially where we live in LA like they're probably going to make more money than me potentially, Like I don't struggle. I do fine. But thus if you're out of mit, then you're really fucking crushing it, you know what I mean, right, And so that is not a turn off for me. I think you just need transparency and communication because it could be a problem for them. And like to pretend like I'm gonna like stunt and like throw all this money around the first few dates because I'm not gonna lie. I Also I like to spend. I like I love, I blow a bag on a date.

00:49:25
Speaker 3: He blows. I don't go on anything.

00:49:28
Speaker 4: It means money by first Like we've talked about first dates before and I'm always like I want to sit across from your dinner and like it's going to cost some money, and it costs money to date women.

00:49:37
Speaker 3: I've got the jet and like going it costs money.

00:49:40
Speaker 4: It costs money.

00:49:41
Speaker 3: It is what it is.

00:49:41
Speaker 4: And we've talked about like dating apps and people being like, oh, I'll never like buy a rose on hinge and I'm like, fuck it, I'll buy a rose. It's cheaper than a drink. You know what it costs money to date? Period?

00:49:51
Speaker 3: What the hell is going on?

00:49:53
Speaker 2: What do you mean Kyle just spent on roses? Please? King?

00:49:57
Speaker 4: Absolute kid, no issue with that.

00:50:00
Speaker 1: I've never had a dating app, so I don't know what dating app a woman that, a woman that I'm pursuing is worth more than two ninety nine on that rose on hinge?

00:50:08
Speaker 3: So like, who cared to nine?

00:50:11
Speaker 4: What are you gonna do? But you walk up to her, go to bar? You're gonna spend eighteen bucks in La on a drink doing that?

00:50:16
Speaker 3: Either.

00:50:16
Speaker 2: It's a great question, do you guys all?

00:50:18
Speaker 3: I'd me in the corner.

00:50:19
Speaker 4: Baby.

00:50:19
Speaker 2: You go on a first date and she goes, oh I'll pay for this, No, not have it.

00:50:24
Speaker 4: I just can't even it just isn't. I'm not. My body's not gonna allow that to happen, even on like the second and third date when she's like, oh I got it this time, and I'm like okay, cool, And then the guy comes with the bill and I just physically can't even if I'm like.

00:50:37
Speaker 1: Hold on, if a girl, If a girl offers to pay, where's her head at?

00:50:41
Speaker 2: What do you mean? Like?

00:50:42
Speaker 3: Are you paying?

00:50:43
Speaker 2: Like first date? You you know it's a date. You said let's go first, to pay for me the first day, and she goes, I got this one, but she's doing the reach you have.

00:50:52
Speaker 1: You have the opportunity, but like where why are you paying?

00:50:56
Speaker 2: Because she's like, oh, you know like him?

00:50:58
Speaker 1: If you if she pays for me, I feel like I have to take her to another on another date.

00:51:03
Speaker 2: Okay, but she goes. You guys decided, like a girl.

00:51:06
Speaker 3: Splits, isn't that the goals to take another date? If I don't like her and get out? This one's on me, sweetheart?

00:51:12
Speaker 4: Down the line, it's reasonable to be splitting. And at some point, you know, show by offers.

00:51:17
Speaker 3: If a girl offers to split, I won't make her pay.

00:51:20
Speaker 1: If a girl doesn't offer to split, make her you're gonna sit there in silence and right on the.

00:51:25
Speaker 2: First date though first date, I'm talking first date.

00:51:29
Speaker 4: What I'm paying the point of money I'm paying because I'm usually the one asking.

00:51:34
Speaker 1: If a girl asked me to go out I'd like for her to offer to pay.

00:51:38
Speaker 2: For me, okay, for the first but are you going to allow it? Okay? She goes to do the reach. You go no, no, no, I got this.

00:51:44
Speaker 1: No, I want to be asked or I want her to offer to pay. Yeah, if she asked me out, but I won't allow it.

00:51:50
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:51:51
Speaker 4: It's a gesture.

00:51:51
Speaker 3: It's a gesture. It's like when you get cut off in traffic and they give you a wave. You're good.

00:51:56
Speaker 2: No, yeah, I'm a pro at the gester girl. Oh, I got it?

00:51:59
Speaker 4: A gesture?

00:52:01
Speaker 1: All right, George Costanza, I got one here for you guys.

00:52:04
Speaker 3: I'm gonna switch us up.

00:52:05
Speaker 4: Okay.

00:52:05
Speaker 7: First date, she offers to pay, and you know you're not gonna go on another day with her.

00:52:10
Speaker 3: No, I'm paying for her because then I'm not an answer.

00:52:12
Speaker 2: That's a good question.

00:52:13
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, wait, say it again, say it again.

00:52:15
Speaker 7: All right, first date she offers to pay, but you already know the date's not going well, you're not gonna go on a second with this person?

00:52:21
Speaker 2: And it is.

00:52:24
Speaker 3: Oh, if we're at Craigs, I'm like, sweetheart, Yes.

00:52:27
Speaker 2: Four hundred dollars, we'll go to split it.

00:52:30
Speaker 1: No, if I'm not doing it, and then I'd probably say I'm gonna do something really special for you, and that special thing is I'm gonna way out of here again.

00:52:40
Speaker 3: Casper the Friendly Ghost isn't so hold on.

00:52:44
Speaker 2: And she's into it. She thinks she's gonna see you. Guy. You know you're gonna text her and say you're not the vibe. You're gonna let her pay.

00:52:49
Speaker 3: I need to get the better I really am.

00:52:52
Speaker 1: I'm Casper the Friendly Ghost. We're getting better at it. I'm gonna have to make some amends for sure her.

00:53:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you guys.

00:53:04
Speaker 3: Though I don't get better everybody, I'll get better.

00:53:07
Speaker 4: I do generally think the point of money is to spend it on beautiful women. I've said that in the past, and just like, like like money that I spend on dating, I don't even put in my fucking budget, Like that's just like that's just come. That's just extra money, like I hope I have it, but like I don't even factor that into what I'm spending throughout the week.

00:53:24
Speaker 2: Your d are about to be blowing up.

00:53:27
Speaker 1: I know it's I'm gonna get a meal and not even have to lay them.

00:53:31
Speaker 4: That's the cost of life. You know what it is?

00:53:34
Speaker 2: Cost of life? Hell yeah, hell yeah.

00:53:37
Speaker 4: If she offers to pay and I'm not gonna see her again, I probably still can't even do it because she's gonna tell her friends. And I'm a broke motherfucker.

00:53:42
Speaker 2: I can't have it.

00:53:42
Speaker 4: Mad At it's too small for that. Don't have anyone.

00:53:46
Speaker 3: Yeah no, I'd say no, and then I'd say I'm gonna go to the restroom. When I cast for out there, you reach, you reach for your person.

00:53:55
Speaker 7: I can see Easton just going up paying the bill and then just walking out the door.

00:53:59
Speaker 3: Jokes. Is a good guy. That's cool?

00:54:02
Speaker 4: Hey the bill from a distance, And.

00:54:03
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm not. I don't know. I'm a good guy in my eyes. You need to get better.

00:54:07
Speaker 2: You're the best guy.

00:54:08
Speaker 1: They've just talk to me. I do need to get better. And not like ghosting women.

00:54:12
Speaker 4: Well, the thing is, is it what is considered ghosting?

00:54:15
Speaker 3: Just not co responding? Ever, But if you're.

00:54:19
Speaker 4: Talking to someone on a dating app you never met, conversation fizzles out, did you ghost that person?

00:54:24
Speaker 2: Depends on, in my opinion, how long a conversation. If you guys have been talking every day for two weeks and then all of a sudden you disappear, I'd say, oh, poor man has passed away.

00:54:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's the only reason I'm dead to many a women. Then hit by carstro I'm dead many a women two weeks.

00:54:42
Speaker 2: Every day you're checking it.

00:54:43
Speaker 4: I wouldn't even let it get to that point, though, if we're not.

00:54:45
Speaker 3: Using the Calvin's disgusted face.

00:54:47
Speaker 1: If I am going to get better at it in Duke Tom, but I am not good at it now, I'm gonna get better at it step by step, not ghosting. Yeah, but sometimes I get I don't know, yeah, you know you like.

00:55:01
Speaker 2: What were you saying about the app? You wouldn't let it get to that.

00:55:03
Speaker 4: Why I don't do like pen pals on dating apps. So like I'm actually not on dating apps right now at all. Which is.

00:55:11
Speaker 3: I got a question. Is it bad to just have like a booty call?

00:55:16
Speaker 4: Yes?

00:55:17
Speaker 3: Yes, Well here's here's what I'll say.

00:55:19
Speaker 5: And this kind of encompasses everything in all of this, even the question about the who's paying. If you know you're not gonna like all this can be solved with communication, if you can just say, hey, listen, here, listen, I like this, but it's a great restaurant. You know, like I really don't. I'm not feeling this. You know, you're a great person. I think it's best if we go our separate ways. I'll pay, you can pay, We're gonna split whatever. But like I want you to know, regardless that the expectations going away from this, I don't want to leave.

00:55:52
Speaker 3: In the dark.

00:55:52
Speaker 5: And sometimes it does take a couple of days after for you to be like, huh, like, let me sit with this. But I mean, we all if we're trusting your intuition.

00:56:00
Speaker 3: But here's why I kidding.

00:56:01
Speaker 2: Guys, Calvin is taken. Do not blow up here.

00:56:04
Speaker 3: That's why he's taken though, because of these things.

00:56:06
Speaker 1: But how I look at it is like if I was talking to a girl for like three months and she just stopped responding, I'd be like, all right, really and then I just forget.

00:56:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, So then I'd do it. I feel like, because if you do it to me, I don't care. So I feel like I do it to people because I feel like everybody doesn't care. But people do care. So you can ghost me too.

00:56:27
Speaker 2: Well, they wonder what they did wrong? Did I say something wrong?

00:56:31
Speaker 3: For me?

00:56:31
Speaker 2: If you ghost me, which is never happened me. I go, oh, oh, he just realized he has terrible taste. I don't want anything to do with him anyway, But.

00:56:44
Speaker 1: That se fix your thing, because nobody did anything. I just found out that I need to just not talk to you for a while.

00:56:51
Speaker 2: Okay, mental health reasons, but that's good.

00:56:54
Speaker 4: I mean your thing about the taste thing. Like I think everyone in this room, I think maybe is blessed to have very high self confidence and whatnot. So like, I like a girl with good taste, and so like, if you like me, good shit, ye I love that. And that gets into your question. Another question I've seen come up of like sex on the first date, right, like is that a deal breaker?

00:57:13
Speaker 2: That's a good question.

00:57:14
Speaker 4: I don't necessarily tie sex to morality or ethics at any point. So like, if I'm on a first date and a girl and have sex with me, it's not a bad thing.

00:57:22
Speaker 2: Well you say no though, if you're not if you're into her, but you think, is there ever a time where you're like, she won't respect me?

00:57:30
Speaker 4: I could say that the longest relationships I've had in the past ten years have been first night sex situation. Really, and it doesn't change at all how I feel about that person. If anything, I'm like, I am cool and you see that. So one good taste. Sorry to sound like an argon asshole there, but two like it also gets that out of the way. So then like, if we know that, if we are moving forward, it's not just based on lust and I'm not just now just like playing a role to get to the sex part. Like we've had sex already and we're still hanging out. Have sex in the first week.

00:58:01
Speaker 2: First week, first week, not date, So.

00:58:03
Speaker 1: You're maybe I had so many times, We're going to see her that week, nothing wrong with having second Why wait some month and then have sex with him and be like.

00:58:11
Speaker 3: That was terrible?

00:58:12
Speaker 5: Well, I also think that the second that the physical is brought into the relationship, it is harder for the emotional and that connection to continue to form because it's like we're such carnal creatures.

00:58:25
Speaker 3: So it's like boom boom. I'm not saying it's right or wrong for me.

00:58:29
Speaker 5: I would prefer at least the first couple of dates or the first, you know, a couple of weeks of like, hey, let me really get to know who you are, and you know, maybe we.

00:58:38
Speaker 3: Do, maybe we don't but some blue balls for the week.

00:58:41
Speaker 5: I'm not throwing it out the first the first date generally swinging, would I know, swinging the old bat of me.

00:58:49
Speaker 2: That's great. No, that's great. Two each is.

00:58:51
Speaker 3: Out, so Calvin week or two Eli first night.

00:58:56
Speaker 4: But like I'm also I'm not going to be mad at going sex the first night. You know, that's totally fine. I'm a bad guy.

00:59:09
Speaker 2: We know, okay really quick because it's so good as dudes. How do you guys support each other's mental health to make sure.

00:59:16
Speaker 1: You're okay, just being there for homies and not just listening, not being an asshole like I said, Like, it's how people.

00:59:25
Speaker 3: React to your emotion. So when they get emotional, I become.

00:59:31
Speaker 1: You know, docile for them because I'm gonna take it all in. So I got homies that listen, that take on the energy that I'm giving so they can give the same type of response. So my homies are close. I've cried to them, They've cried to me. So I just keep homies that I can be honest with and emotional with. From that, I get bye, Yeah.

00:59:52
Speaker 2: People, you can trust you guys.

00:59:54
Speaker 4: Just checking in with the homies. Really, I mean I could do a better job for sure of opening up to my friends. I'm pretty guarded. I would say.

01:00:01
Speaker 5: I think it's important not only to just ask your friends, hey, are you okay, because you're gonna get the good oh yeah, I'm good, but to take that initiative and say, like, hey, what's going on in your life? And you know, get get underneath it, because a lot of times it is, even even with our best friends, it's such a ah yeah I'm good man, I'm chilling.

01:00:22
Speaker 3: But like I mean, just go deeper, go deeper and keep asking.

01:00:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's really great. I love you, guys. I thank you so much. I'm gonna let Easton close us out, but thank you guys for doing this.

01:00:36
Speaker 1: Boys, is there anywhere that these people can find you?

01:00:39
Speaker 4: You can hit me up on. I g I'm not popping by any means, but and what is that? I g underscore Eli Benjamin, but let's make me popping.

01:00:46
Speaker 2: We'll tag you, Calvin.

01:00:48
Speaker 5: I know I pluged yours, but yes, my Instagram is at Calvin on the cob.

01:00:53
Speaker 3: Hey you there, you're there.

01:00:56
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much, and thank you for giving up no, and thank you for listening to the Give Them Lola podcast.

01:01:03
Speaker 3: This episode will be out on Wednesday.

01:01:05
Speaker 1: Video is out on Friday, and so make sure you check that out, like comment, subscribe on.

01:01:10
Speaker 3: It, hit that belt so you notified.

01:01:12
Speaker 4: Bye Fe.