395 | Helping Children Through Divorce: The Importance of Age-Appropriate Truth
Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy
In this episode, I answer a question about helping children navigate a difficult divorce and discuss how to guide parents in communicating hard truths in developmentally appropriate ways. I explain why shielding children from reality often creates more confusion and anxiety, because children are already aware that something is wrong. When adults avoid conversations, children fill in the gaps themselves—and unfortunately, they often do so with self-blame, shame, or distorted conclusions. I emphasize the importance of "age-appropriate truth": saying enough to provide clarity and security, without overwhelming the child with adult details.
I also talk about coaching parents to remain calm, neutral, and emotionally regulated when discussing difficult situations with their children. Whether the issue is divorce, illness, learning differences, or family conflict, children need truthful preparation and emotional safety—not secrecy. I explain how openness preserves trust, allows children to process what's happening over time, and prevents resentment from forming later. This episode is ultimately about helping children feel secure enough to face hard realities without feeling responsible for them.
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Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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0 00:00:00,519 --> 00:00:04,280 You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks, 1 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,260 your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching. 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:08,720 Hi, 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:09,880 I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:10,739 The Kid Counselor. 5 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,920 This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get 6 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,300 a master class in child-centered play therapy 7 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,760 and practical support and application for your 8 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,420 work with children and their families. 9 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,709 In today's episode, 10 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,139 I'm answering a question from Emily in the UK. 11 00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:27,719 And this is about her work with twin boys, 12 00:00:28,139 --> 00:00:29,879 and the family 13 00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,598 is going through a pretty nasty divorce. 14 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,279 And so trying to navigate that, 15 00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:36,950 what to share with parents 16 00:00:37,169 --> 00:00:39,189 regarding how to handle that with 17 00:00:39,529 --> 00:00:39,959 children. 18 00:00:40,130 --> 00:00:40,319 So, 19 00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:41,169 really helpful question. 20 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:41,450 Thank you, 21 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,069 Emily. 22 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:43,840 Hello to all my UKers, 23 00:00:43,889 --> 00:00:44,360 by the way. 24 00:00:44,450 --> 00:00:45,439 I know there's a lot of you, 25 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:46,529 so happy to have you. 26 00:00:47,439 --> 00:00:47,650 All right, 27 00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:48,830 so we will dive into 28 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,080 this email in just one second. 29 00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:54,200 I just want to do a quick little reminder, 30 00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:54,689 Thursday, 31 00:00:54,799 --> 00:00:56,729 May 28th at 12pm Eastern. 32 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,709 We are doing our 400th episode and it will be live. 33 00:01:00,959 --> 00:01:01,189 So, 34 00:01:01,349 --> 00:01:02,270 Zoom call, 35 00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:03,860 a whole bunch of people on there. 36 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,580 We'll do a little bit of podcast stuff and then we'll do Q&A. 37 00:01:07,919 --> 00:01:08,599 Be a lot of fun. 38 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:09,000 So, 39 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,080 if you are interested and you are able to attend May 28th, 40 00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:13,150 Thursday at noon, 41 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:16,089 www.playtherapypodcast.com/400 42 00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:18,080 is where you'll need to go to register for that. 43 00:01:18,239 --> 00:01:18,540 All right. 44 00:01:18,639 --> 00:01:18,750 So, 45 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,139 let's read parts of the email 46 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,919 and then we'll tackle it. 47 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,500 I'm working with 2 48 00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:25,029 10-year-old twins. 49 00:01:25,199 --> 00:01:27,800 One completely fits with the externalizing description 50 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,660 you gave in a recent parenting podcast. 51 00:01:30,529 --> 00:01:32,279 And the other fits with internalizing. 52 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,650 It was amazing timing for these episodes. 53 00:01:34,699 --> 00:01:38,180 I remember you often say that questions come in waves exactly when you need them, 54 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:39,599 and I feel this has happened to me. 55 00:01:39,739 --> 00:01:40,180 I'm so glad, 56 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:40,680 Emily. 57 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:45,080 So many people tell me that I obviously had them in mind when I recorded things. 58 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,639 The day before you released your internalizing episode, 59 00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:51,500 their mom told me about a difficult experience that 60 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,889 week in which her quieter son burst into tears, 61 00:01:54,019 --> 00:01:56,559 seemingly unprovoked during his football practice. 62 00:01:56,980 --> 00:01:58,980 The family is going through a tricky divorce, 63 00:01:59,059 --> 00:02:02,080 and my advice up to then had been to shield the boys 64 00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:06,220 from the stress of the divorce and co-parent civilly as much as possible. 65 00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:06,860 However, 66 00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:08,258 after listening to your podcast, 67 00:02:08,339 --> 00:02:10,660 it made me question the advice I've been giving as 68 00:02:10,660 --> 00:02:13,119 I was encouraging the mom to internalize as well. 69 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,899 I shared your podcast with this mom and honestly 70 00:02:15,899 --> 00:02:18,210 commented that I worry my advice was poor, 71 00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:21,179 that I would contact you and ask your opinion on how 72 00:02:21,179 --> 00:02:24,220 open parents can be with their children during stressful times. 73 00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:26,919 Any advice you have would be so very appreciated. 74 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:27,940 All right, 75 00:02:28,050 --> 00:02:28,479 so, 76 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:29,460 first, 77 00:02:29,539 --> 00:02:31,039 let's start with the 78 00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:33,649 Easy element of this. 79 00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:36,070 I know sometimes we can beat ourselves up for 80 00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:40,699 things that we said or we wanted to have said and didn't. 81 00:02:40,979 --> 00:02:43,699 Things we did or we should have done and didn't. 82 00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:46,339 There are always things that we look back and we say, 83 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:46,779 gosh, 84 00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:48,279 that really was not 85 00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:49,720 how I wish that would have gone. 86 00:02:50,369 --> 00:02:54,940 And there's an easy frustration or blame or I 87 00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:58,000 really botched that feeling that can come over us. 88 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:01,000 But we have to remind ourselves of 89 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:01,960 the 90 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:05,190 principles that we know about child-centered play therapy. 91 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:07,539 What's most important may not be what you do, 92 00:03:07,619 --> 00:03:09,220 but what you do after what you've done. 93 00:03:10,419 --> 00:03:11,000 And so, 94 00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,009 when we realize, 95 00:03:12,089 --> 00:03:12,610 you know what, 96 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,149 I don't really like 97 00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:16,110 the way that that was handled in the playroom, 98 00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:19,070 or I don't like the advice that I recommended, 99 00:03:19,410 --> 00:03:22,229 or I actually know something more that I didn't know 100 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:22,850 earlier. 101 00:03:22,929 --> 00:03:23,139 So, 102 00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:25,789 I want to bring that up again and I want to readdress it. 103 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:30,270 There is always the opportunity for us to circle back and 104 00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:31,389 adjust 105 00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:31,830 what 106 00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:34,539 we wish we would have done differently in the earlier part. 107 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,149 So, 108 00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,270 I think that there's no harm here in saying, 109 00:03:38,869 --> 00:03:39,110 OK, 110 00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:40,259 I've been thinking about it, 111 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,369 or I've gotten more information now, 112 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,130 or I've done some more research, 113 00:03:44,149 --> 00:03:46,009 and here's what I know now. 114 00:03:46,429 --> 00:03:48,070 And there's no problem, 115 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:49,990 and that's even true in play sessions. 116 00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:52,589 So I think we can take some of the pressure off 117 00:03:52,589 --> 00:03:55,630 of ourselves for being so on target all the time. 118 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,750 And I think that that will alleviate some of the concern in this situation for you, 119 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:01,139 Emily, 120 00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:01,610 as well. 121 00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:02,539 So, 122 00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:03,949 what do we encourage parents? 123 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:04,309 Well, 124 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,070 first off, 125 00:04:05,309 --> 00:04:06,089 always 126 00:04:06,309 --> 00:04:07,330 age-appropriate truth. 127 00:04:08,529 --> 00:04:09,250 Here's why. 128 00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:10,630 Kids know 129 00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:12,130 that there's stuff going on. 130 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,070 Kids know when they struggle in school, 131 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,608 but they don't know why. 132 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:19,678 Kids know that they struggle socially. 133 00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:20,850 They don't know why. 134 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,179 In those instances, 135 00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:22,700 I'm 136 00:04:22,899 --> 00:04:24,679 quietly in my head referring to 137 00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:27,179 learning disabilities and autism spectrum. 138 00:04:28,049 --> 00:04:30,950 Kids know that things are weird in the house. 139 00:04:31,769 --> 00:04:34,209 Kids know that someone is sick and really ill. 140 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,660 These are all types of things that kids are very perceptive, 141 00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:39,769 very aware, 142 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:43,290 and adults try to shield them from the truth. 143 00:04:44,489 --> 00:04:46,510 The most helpful thing we can do 144 00:04:46,809 --> 00:04:48,890 is have an age-appropriate discussion. 145 00:04:50,239 --> 00:04:52,540 And we don't reveal more than necessary, 146 00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:54,989 so we are always going to encourage parents 147 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,410 just say enough but not too much. 148 00:04:57,769 --> 00:04:58,910 Don't say nothing. 149 00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,609 Don't say everything. 150 00:05:01,049 --> 00:05:02,309 Say just enough 151 00:05:02,929 --> 00:05:04,390 so that there's not confusion, 152 00:05:04,489 --> 00:05:05,589 there's not unknown, 153 00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:07,190 there's not ambiguity, 154 00:05:07,529 --> 00:05:10,630 and see what happens if the child does not have the information. 155 00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,230 The child will start to fill the gaps 156 00:05:13,369 --> 00:05:14,489 and try to fill the holes, 157 00:05:14,589 --> 00:05:16,269 but unfortunately when they do that. 158 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,480 And they don't have all the information, 159 00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:20,899 they fill the holes with misinformation. 160 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:22,510 In other words, 161 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,220 instead of understanding, 162 00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:26,820 I mix up my letters. 163 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,440 That's why it's hard for me to spell. 164 00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:29,869 That's why it's hard for me to read. 165 00:05:30,119 --> 00:05:32,440 My brain mixes up letters and it, 166 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,480 it's harder for me. 167 00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:33,980 If 168 00:05:34,239 --> 00:05:36,950 age-appropriate truth is provided for dyslexia, 169 00:05:37,029 --> 00:05:37,739 for example, 170 00:05:38,679 --> 00:05:40,890 That would be how those holes get filled. 171 00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:42,790 Without that information, 172 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,459 the child starts to go, 173 00:05:44,679 --> 00:05:45,929 there's something wrong with me. 174 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,190 I'm dumb. 175 00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:48,429 I'm an idiot. 176 00:05:48,769 --> 00:05:50,089 I clearly can't read. 177 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,029 Everyone else has no problem reading, 178 00:05:52,369 --> 00:05:54,989 and they start to answer their questions 179 00:05:55,209 --> 00:05:55,709 with 180 00:05:56,049 --> 00:05:57,609 self-deprecating. 181 00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:02,119 Feelings and they have really negative self-dialogue. 182 00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:03,959 Same thing with 183 00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:05,619 when there's stuff going on in the house, 184 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,500 when parents are separating, 185 00:06:07,619 --> 00:06:08,619 when they're arguing, 186 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:09,459 when there's conflict, 187 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,570 when they're not talking, 188 00:06:10,779 --> 00:06:12,480 when they're officially getting divorced 189 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,559 and going through the process of that. 190 00:06:15,179 --> 00:06:15,799 There's 191 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,220 always this sense that the child is like, 192 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:18,739 oh my gosh, 193 00:06:18,829 --> 00:06:19,450 what is happening? 194 00:06:19,609 --> 00:06:20,730 Everything that I understood, 195 00:06:21,019 --> 00:06:22,839 everything that was normal is no longer. 196 00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:23,619 Well, 197 00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,140 it's really easy for them to go, 198 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:25,339 Well, 199 00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:26,359 this is my fault. 200 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:27,940 I, 201 00:06:28,359 --> 00:06:30,000 I wasn't obedient enough. 202 00:06:30,079 --> 00:06:31,200 I wasn't nice enough. 203 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:32,399 I caused problems. 204 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:36,359 I made mom mad all the time and then dad quit wanting to be around her. 205 00:06:36,799 --> 00:06:38,739 They're going to fill in all these gaps. 206 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:40,519 So that's what we're trying to avoid. 207 00:06:40,589 --> 00:06:42,459 We have to help parents understand 208 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,940 the importance of age-appropriate truth. 209 00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:45,739 And 210 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,700 parents also need to be coached 211 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,739 on how to remain neutral, 212 00:06:50,239 --> 00:06:51,559 how to remain calm, 213 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,250 and how to not let emotions get in the way. 214 00:06:55,109 --> 00:06:57,640 So a lot of times parents have to do a lot of prep work, 215 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:58,600 sometimes with you, 216 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,019 sometimes independently, 217 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:01,500 sometimes both. 218 00:07:02,079 --> 00:07:04,299 You sometimes have to do some coaching 219 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:05,339 on 220 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,799 how to keep their own emotions out of it, 221 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,059 how to remain neutral and calm, 222 00:07:10,399 --> 00:07:12,779 and give space for kids to ask questions. 223 00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:15,890 Give space for kids to process 224 00:07:16,109 --> 00:07:17,609 what they're finding out about. 225 00:07:18,429 --> 00:07:18,500 So, 226 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:19,410 in this case, 227 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:20,070 you know, 228 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,410 tricky divorce. 229 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:22,980 Obviously, 230 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:23,320 you know, 231 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,239 difficulty in the home because of that. 232 00:07:25,359 --> 00:07:27,140 There's stress and all of that. 233 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,040 The most helpful thing 234 00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:29,739 that 235 00:07:30,399 --> 00:07:31,079 at least mom, 236 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,600 I know you're speaking with mom about this, 237 00:07:32,679 --> 00:07:34,359 so I don't know if dad's going to be involved or not, 238 00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:34,700 but 239 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,739 the most helpful thing mom could do 240 00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:38,700 would just be to sit the boys down 241 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:39,899 and say, 242 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:40,600 OK, 243 00:07:40,679 --> 00:07:43,140 so I know that you're aware that dad and I 244 00:07:43,619 --> 00:07:44,679 are getting divorced. 245 00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:46,269 And 246 00:07:46,809 --> 00:07:50,119 we're trying to handle this the best that we can, 247 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,690 but sometimes, 248 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:51,890 you know, 249 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:52,959 I'm gonna be sad, 250 00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:54,600 and sometimes I'm gonna be mad, 251 00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:56,079 and sometimes Dad and I, 252 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,549 Dad and I may not get along. 253 00:07:58,519 --> 00:07:59,049 And 254 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:01,630 We're gonna get through it, 255 00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,459 and we both love you, 256 00:08:03,809 --> 00:08:05,880 and things are gonna be different, 257 00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:06,929 but 258 00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:08,429 we are still a family 259 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:09,429 and 260 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,769 everything is gonna 261 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:12,010 work out in the end. 262 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:17,600 And then likely kids are going to either in that moment or over time, 263 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,459 want to know some things. 264 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,480 And so parents have to also be OK with answering questions in the same vein, 265 00:08:23,559 --> 00:08:24,079 neutrally, 266 00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:24,559 calmly, 267 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:25,660 emotionlessly. 268 00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,290 And what that does 269 00:08:28,510 --> 00:08:29,130 is 270 00:08:29,470 --> 00:08:31,570 it doesn't make something a secret. 271 00:08:31,829 --> 00:08:33,710 It doesn't make something taboo. 272 00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:35,929 It doesn't make something off-limits. 273 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:38,770 Kids like to be prepared 274 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,808 and kids like to know what to expect. 275 00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:45,109 Everything is handled more appropriately. 276 00:08:45,219 --> 00:08:46,309 This is a universal truth. 277 00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,179 This isn't just kids, 278 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,880 but it's even more prominent with kids. 279 00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:50,159 All of us 280 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:53,359 handle things better the more information that we have. 281 00:08:53,859 --> 00:08:55,140 When things are a surprise, 282 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:56,460 when they are unexpected, 283 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:57,809 when they catch us off guard, 284 00:08:58,020 --> 00:08:59,950 when we don't see anything coming, 285 00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:01,640 it's far harder 286 00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:02,650 than when, 287 00:09:02,659 --> 00:09:03,979 even though we don't like it, 288 00:09:04,099 --> 00:09:07,159 we at least know what's coming or what to expect. 289 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,729 So that's what we're trying to do. 290 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:12,559 We are giving kids the preparation to work through this emotionally, 291 00:09:12,729 --> 00:09:13,409 mentally, 292 00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:14,429 relationally, 293 00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:15,549 psychologically. 294 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:16,570 They need space. 295 00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:17,349 They need time. 296 00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,830 And by not discussing it, 297 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:22,570 it's prolonging the work first and foremost, 298 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,190 and we run the risk 299 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,549 of kids getting resentful. 300 00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:27,489 Well, 301 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,109 you didn't even tell me. 302 00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:30,599 That is the greatest concern 303 00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:32,750 for me 304 00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:35,549 when I hear that parents are keeping things from their kids, 305 00:09:35,849 --> 00:09:38,669 you knew and you didn't even tell me. 306 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,469 That is a dangerous 307 00:09:41,969 --> 00:09:42,820 outcome 308 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,669 for a child to be bitter and angry and resentful and hurt, 309 00:09:46,849 --> 00:09:48,229 and you lose trust 310 00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:50,909 when you feel like something was kept from you. 311 00:09:51,409 --> 00:09:53,609 It's one thing if someone didn't know. 312 00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:54,219 Like, 313 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:54,849 I didn't know, 314 00:09:54,919 --> 00:09:55,799 of course I didn't tell you. 315 00:09:55,849 --> 00:09:57,049 I didn't even know myself, 316 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,390 but if you know 317 00:09:58,690 --> 00:09:59,390 the truth 318 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,239 and you don't share the truth, 319 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:02,650 that's omission. 320 00:10:03,619 --> 00:10:06,650 And that is sometimes just as damaging, 321 00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:09,289 and kids can really get the fallout 322 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,250 of that decision. 323 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:10,679 So, 324 00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:13,349 we're always going to help parents coach them, 325 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,609 give them the prep 326 00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:18,010 of how to handle those conversations, 327 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:19,390 and 328 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:21,530 that sets everyone up 329 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,109 to handle it in the most effective ways. 330 00:10:24,820 --> 00:10:24,940 So, 331 00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:25,289 Emily, 332 00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:26,460 thank you so much for the question. 333 00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:28,080 I hope that's helpful for all of you. 334 00:10:28,619 --> 00:10:29,299 If you want to reach out, 335 00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:30,260 I'd love to hear from you. 336 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:30,900 So please do, 337 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,580 Brenna at the kidcounselor.com. 338 00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:33,340 I love y'all. 339 00:10:33,419 --> 00:10:34,260 We'll talk again soon. 340 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:34,700 Bye. 341 00:10:35,739 --> 00:10:39,530 Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks. 342 00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,700 For more episodes and resources, 343 00:10:41,859 --> 00:10:46,619 please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.