142 | From Playroom to Home: Integrating Filial Therapy into Practice

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where I give

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you a master class and child-centered play therapy

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as well as practical support and application for

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your work with children and their families.

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In today's episode, we are diving into

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filial as promised

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and I know that I took a small deviation last week and added one more parenting

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discussion

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conversation. But

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we are going to continue with the idea of work working

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with parents and talking with parents and move into the filial side

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of the episodes. So

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I want to make it very clear before we dive in that filial

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can mean lots of theoretical orientations.

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So as a general umbrella term, filial is just the Latin word for family.

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So you're essentially saying family therapy when you say filial,

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and I want to make it clear that that

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does not exclude other modalities and theoretical orientations.

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So

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as you suspect and assume, I'm sure

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mine is going to be from the child-centered perspective,

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but I want to make it known that that is not the only filial approach.

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And so I just didn't want it to be confusing that if

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you hear me say filial and I only talk about child-centered,

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that you assume that this is a child-centered approach.

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It is not,

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but I'm going to give you the child-centered model. So

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not that, that surprises you.

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All right. So let's dive into some thoughts on filial.

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I want to kind of start with big picture and then as we move forward in episodes,

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I'll get into more specifics and

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we'll kind of make it a little more of a deep dive,

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but we're going to start high level view.

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Let's start with the statistics. OK.

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So I guess because I was in school for so long, I really have fallen in love with data

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and I don't think I was like that at all in my early grad school years. But I

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think the PhD program does that to you or something, all that

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dissertation and statistical stuff.

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So my mind is very much wired for

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data and evidence and what we can measure what we can question.

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And I think it's important for us as clinicians to know

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that we have empirical support for the things that we do.

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I think it's important for us to

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know what's out there in journals and in the field of research, because

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that only corroborates and makes us more confident to talk

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about what we do and talk about why we do it

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and believe in what we're doing in the playroom. So

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similarly, when we talk about the statistics about filial,

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they

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across every study

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consistently mention that the more actively

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engaged parents are with the child-centered

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process,

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the better the outcomes. And that is not distinct only to sorry, only to filial.

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I just spell said CPRT but we haven't gotten there yet.

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So that is not unique only to filial

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therapy.

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That is just when parents are involved, invested, engaged

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in the child-centered process. OK.

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So we know outcomes are better, the more parents are involved.

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Now,

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let's transition to what data shows about parents using play

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therapy skills with their own children versus a therapist.

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Interesting dynamic shift.

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So when we look at a therapist working with a child

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in a playroom, traditional child-centered play therapy,

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we can look at

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T scores and you don't need to know anything about that other than

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it's a measure of efficacy. OK? Of

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change from zero

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and efficacy

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we have

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in the 0.8 range for therapists.

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So 0.8 something, you know, 0.82 0.85 0.87 somewhere along there

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of a T score. When a therapist works with a child,

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that's a very big score.

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By the way, that shows us that child center play therapy works.

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But

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when we look at parents using play therapy with their own children

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and being taught to use play therapy principles,

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they become the therapeutic change agent

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rather than the therapist.

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And that T score is 1.15 I think so. 1.1 something.

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All right. So what do we know about that when we see that big of a shift?

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What does that tell us? It tells us that parents are more effective at this than we are

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now

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Don't be scared.

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You're not going to be out of a job because parents don't know this stuff. Ok.

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So parents aren't going to take over the child-centered world

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and we're all going to be out on our heels,

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you know, with no employment, I promise.

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But here's what that should encourage us.

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We should be all in

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to offer child-centered play therapy training to parents

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when it's a good fit for them.

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And in future episodes, we're going to talk about how we know who's a good fit and

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how do we vet parents blah, blah, blah. But

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for now,

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it should make us very encouraged and make us feel

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very positive about the filial therapy model from a child-centered perspective

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because parents

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have a T score that's 0.3 higher than therapists do.

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And that makes sense, right?

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Because parents have a relationship with their children,

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they have an emotional connection with their children.

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They have a history with their children.

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We don't have any of that when we start work with them.

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So they obviously have the advantage when

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it comes to implementing the child-centered skills

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because

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the entirety of what we do,

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we focus on what

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the relationship Yes.

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So if parents come into it with a relationship already present,

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they're obviously set up to be more successful and effective.

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Makes sense.

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All right. So

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if you are thinking about adding filial to your practice, so you would like to

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not only see kids in the playroom as a child-centered play therapist,

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but you'd also like to do

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a filial approach where you're actually training parents and coaching parents

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to use child-centered play therapy skills with their own children.

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Your best approach for this is CPRT.

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So child parent relationship therapy, we've talked about that a lot.

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Landreth and Bratton's work.

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The new edition just came out a couple of years ago

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and it has updated information, new tracks, et cetera, et cetera.

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So if you want to provide filial,

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do not dive in, do not do this blindly,

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do not think that just because you buy the manual, you can offer CPRT to families

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that is not setting yourself up for success. It's not

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appropriate. It's bordering on unethical. You need to be trained

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in the model, you need to be trained in how to do it.

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You need to understand the nuances, you need to know the material inside and out

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and you need to really

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grasp the concept of the filial approach from a child-centered orientation.

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So

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often you will find when a parent calls and

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you are asked to do play therapy,

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it becomes evident very quickly

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that this is a relational dynamic issue.

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Meaning

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the child really only has problems at home.

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The problem really only... oh sorry,

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the child really only has problems with the parents for example,

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or just the mom maybe

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or

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you know, it's an isolated situation,

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meaning child is appropriately behaved at school and in the playroom and at

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church and at baseball and all the other places that the child goes.

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But at home, there's all kinds of upheaval.

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Well, that's very clearly a relational environmental dynamic.

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So in that situation,

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it would make a lot of sense to suggest CPRT.

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So we're going to talk a lot more about

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what that looks like and you know what the value of it is, how to implement it,

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considerations, et cetera.

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So we have many weeks of diving into filial and specifically the CPRT approach.

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But here's kind of big picture

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why I think this makes such a difference for families

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because

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we often talk about

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the child

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in play therapy, self actualizing, right?

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So they're becoming a better version of themselves

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and they're changing, they're adapting, they're growing, they're healing,

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all of these good things are happening.

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So they are continuing to shift if you will

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from wherever they were stuck before,

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which is usually on the end of something at an extreme, right?

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They're starting to shift back toward balance center.

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Well, think about this from a family systems perspective,

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not to get into a different theory.

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I'm just using the phrase, OK.

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So from a family systems perspective,

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we have a child that's changing,

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it will force the rest of the family to recalibrate

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because the family works toward that natural homeostasis, whatever that is.

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And when the child makes changes,

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it forces everyone else to change.

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We understand that about a family system,

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it's dynamic and it's ever changing. All right. So

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keeping that idea or word picture, if you will in your head,

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think about

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what CPRT

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the filial approach

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affords

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it hits it from both sides.

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So the child

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gets to do play sessions with one or more of their parents.

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So they are getting the benefit

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of

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play sessions which help them

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to grow and heal and change and all those things just like they would with us.

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So the the child-centered filial model teaches parents

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to do play sessions with their own kids.

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So now all of a sudden the child is getting the benefit

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of play sessions just like they would with us in the playroom,

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which will help them self actualize and will help them

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gain the things that they need

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to be a better version of themselves.

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So that's essentially the play therapy approach,

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but it's just at home with a parent instead of in a play room with you.

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No

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pause on that front for a second.

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Now we're gonna shift to mom and dad.

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So now the parents are participating in the filial approach.

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They are learning new tools and new skills

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to use with their children

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as a parenting approach,

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let me make that distinction very clear. You are not providing therapy to parents.

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Let me say that again. So it will sink in.

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You are not

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therapizing,

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I'm air quoting, but you are not therapizing

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parents.

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You are training parents,

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they are doing play sessions with their child,

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which provides a therapeutic environment

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for

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those play sessions.

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But you are training parents.

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All right. So now that that's

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in your awareness,

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you are giving them tools and skills and principles

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that allow them

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to parent differently.

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And by doing so, it creates a different relationship between

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them and their children.

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So they are

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self actualizing as parents.

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The child is self actualizing

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because of play sessions.

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And when we think about the family system

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now, rather than the child in play therapy being the only one who changes.

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So think about two poles far away from each other,

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the child is moving away from the pole back

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toward the center in between the two poles,

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but no one else is moving. They're still over here at this other opposite pole.

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That's what happens in child-centered play therapy.

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The child is the only one that's moving,

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makes it very challenging.

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Interestingly though when we do CPRT and we have a child-centered filial approach,

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child's at a pole. Parents are at a poll.

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Child starts moving towards center because they're

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getting the benefit of play sessions.

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Parents start moving towards center away from the pole because they're getting

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taught and trained and coached

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in new ways to interact

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and in both scenarios, not only are they both self actualizing,

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but they are building a better relationship together

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with each other.

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This is why I love filial.

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This is why I love CPRT. I've been providing CPRT coaching

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since 2006.

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I love it.

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I have seen what it does. I have seen the change that it brings.

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I have seen the dynamic shifts in families. It's incredible.

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So this is why we're gonna spend some time on the

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filial approach because I think that if we work with children,

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we should also be able to recognize when it makes more sense for us

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to work with the parents for a variety of reasons which we'll unpack together.

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But when we realize that the parent

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needs the training and the coaching

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so that everyone in the family is changing and evolving.

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CPRT is by far your best bet.

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So, all right, I hope that's helpful.

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I hope that gets you excited about what's to come.

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I'm very excited about it. I think it's going to be a,

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a fun section for us to be in. So

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if you would like to find out about all things related to

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everything in the child-centered play therapy world that we have out there,

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please go to www.playtherapynow.com you can sign up for my newsletter there you can

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sign up for my CEU course coming up at the end of the month,

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which is ironically on filial therapy and CPRT

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or you can check out the collective. I would love to have you on there. It's growing,

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there's more and more people every week. It's so exciting.

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Our live zoom calls have been so much fun.

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And if you are interested in finding out about any of those things,

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I would love to have you check out www.playtherapynow.com.

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You can reach me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

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If you'd like to shoot me an email, I'd love to hear from you as well. So

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good to be with you all. Love you, talk again soon. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr

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Brenna Hicks for more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.