Cindy Knows What She Wants | Happy Hour

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome back to bet You're Happy Hour. I'm Joe and I'm Serena and we are here today with Cindy.

00:00:08
Speaker 2: Good job.

00:00:09
Speaker 1: That was good. Thank you from Golden Bachelor. Cindy. How are you.

00:00:14
Speaker 3: I'm doing great, better than I deserve, probably, but I'm doing great. Thanks for no such thing.

00:00:19
Speaker 2: No such thing.

00:00:20
Speaker 1: I mean. I'm good. I'm good. How are you? I'm great.

00:00:23
Speaker 2: I'm happy to meet you. You've been on this podcast before, but sadly you were on the one of the very few weeks a year that Joe and I were not on it. Yeah, there's only like one or two times that ever happens, So we were sad to miss you, but we're excited to chat with you today. We have a nice two part interview coming out.

00:00:40
Speaker 3: Well, I'm happy to meet with you too, and I'm glad you had a great trip. You deserve it. You take that time for yourselves.

00:00:45
Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes, it's much needed.

00:00:47
Speaker 1: So you live. I want to you know, I know some of our audience knows some of the stuff already, but you live in Austin, Texas, right.

00:00:55
Speaker 3: I live in Austin, Texas. I've been there for about thirty years, but today many years. Uh Los Angeles. So but yes, I've been in Austin for a long time.

00:01:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, that city's really changed. Tom.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. I live in downtown and downtown. When I moved, there was a ghost town. Nobody lived down there. There was not even there wasn't any apartment complex or high rise at all downtown. Really, that was it. We had an ordinance that you couldn't build buildings taller than the state capitol, right, okay, so everything was really short. And when they removed that ordnance, boy it started dooming. And now it's just an amazing downtown area. The whole city is popping. You should come.

00:01:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, we went to I had my brother's bachelor party there. We went to a hotel lobby that was actually great. I think it was the proper hotel.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's two blocks for me, it's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:01:52
Speaker 1: So you live right there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:01:53
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:01:53
Speaker 2: We actually looked at that hotel as a potential wedding venue when we first started. Oh look, we didn't go see it, but when we were doing some research, we thought it was really pretty.

00:02:03
Speaker 3: Yeah. Austin is super fun. We get a lot of people for bachelorette and bachelor parties and weekends. And I was on a plane yesterday with a group of guys who just got back. They just went down and ate barbecue and that was their their weekend was just finding all these great barbecue places.

00:02:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have a favorite barbecue place in Austin?

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Speaker 3: They actually mentioned a couple of them that I haven't been. But my favorite is actually in a gas station. It's called Rudy's Barbecue off of three sixty. They have several across the state of Texas, but that one in particular, there's something extra special going on in there's smokehouse, so I don't know what it is, but it suits me nice.

00:02:40
Speaker 1: I went to I think it's called La Barbecue or La Barbesae. That was a good spot. Katie. And do you know Katie and Zach They live in Austin.

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Speaker 3: I have not met them yet. I look forward to it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm sure you are.

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Speaker 3: Kathy.

00:02:54
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I have you met Kathy?

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Speaker 3: Remember, I'm just I'm just out. No, I haven't been. I've been kind of sequestered from the world until this last week. So give me a minute, all right, give me a minute. I'll track them down quickly.

00:03:08
Speaker 1: That's fair. That's fair. Yeah, you should hang out with Kathy. She's she's a good time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a good crew down in Austin. I have to make my way down there at some point. I've never been and I've always wanted to check it out. So me really will treat it.

00:03:19
Speaker 3: We'll treat a great great hospital.

00:03:21
Speaker 2: Brought you to Austin because you've only been there for thirty years, So where did you no thirties one time? I just mean like you didn't. You didn't You were born and raised.

00:03:30
Speaker 1: Thirty longer than you've been alone.

00:03:32
Speaker 3: So it's a fair question. It's a fair question.

00:03:34
Speaker 1: I've been there for thirty years.

00:03:37
Speaker 3: I've moved to Austin to marry a man back in the day. Yeah, I met him. I was living in Dallas, living a great life. In Dallas, you talk about a fun city for a single person, and especially back in the day. But I met a man who was living in Austin and we decided to get engaged and had to pick where we moved, and Austin was it. I hadn't looked back. It's been a fun place.

00:04:00
Speaker 1: Did you watch the Dallas Cowboys documentary by any chance?

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Speaker 3: I haven't. I haven't. And SMU has a new documentary that I need to see as well about the death penalty, which I lived through when I was cheeringder. Yeah, listen, I've got to catch up on a lot of things.

00:04:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to watch The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Series two, America's Yes, I Love for Sure and.

00:04:21
Speaker 1: The Secret Life Mos. Okay, let's get into this. So before we get into a FI and everything, let's go back to Antigua. Where is Antigua?

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Speaker 3: By the way, Antiga is into British West Indies. I don't know this because I had my phone with me, because you know they take our phones, but it's into British British West Indies, and I've been to islands that are about one hundred miles away, but it's a special island if you haven't been on your short list. It was amazing.

00:04:51
Speaker 2: A girlfriend I just saw this morning for coffee. She actually Bree Springs, who was also on The Bachelor. She was just there on a trip and she said it was exquisite, like so beautiful, something that somewhere I've never thought about going, but I really want to check out.

00:05:08
Speaker 3: So the sand is like walking on a temper pedic Mattress. Oh my gosh.

00:05:14
Speaker 1: Okay, so you get the Antigua, it's Antiga, Antiga. You get the Antigua. It should be called Antigua, by the way.

00:05:23
Speaker 2: Pitch it.

00:05:24
Speaker 3: Tell the name Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's beautiful. You know you're you're one of two women left. What is going through your mind when you first get there?

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Speaker 3: Uh? I was what was going through my mind. I got to go back to that moment. Get off the plane, You're in this beautiful city. I walked throught me tell you what happened. I walked through customs and they handed my passport and he's like, you're single. I go yeah, he goes, well, maybe you'll meet your husband on the island.

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Speaker 1: No way.

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Speaker 2: Did you feel like that was a sign?

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Speaker 3: I did? I really did know, because that's what I was thinking. Right here, I am We're going to discover some more things about each other, move this relationship down the road, and wow, this is incredible. I actually found a guy, as crazy as it sounds on National TV, and we're going to make this work. That's what I was thinking.

00:06:20
Speaker 1: Were you at all hesitant going into Antiga because you were worrying Melvin? Maybe wasn't there yet. No, Okay, I.

00:06:35
Speaker 3: Know, and after we know the ending of the show, it's hard to remember, so I've got to put myself back into that timeline. But at that moment, I believed that he was putting one foot in front of the other two.

00:06:47
Speaker 2: Was any part of you at that point thinking about his connection with Peg or the fact that there was someone else there?

00:06:57
Speaker 3: Honestly, I wasn't. It's kind of a remarkable to think based upon how I responded after the pool party, But having Kathy and Susan come for the pajama party that night was very helpful. Kathy said to me, you just got to pay attention to your own relationship with him. This is an unusual situation. Can you imagine in my real life going to an island with a man who was there with two women. That's just not going to happen. Not going to happen. So suspend reality and play your game, just like, be in your own mind, be in your own relationship with mel and don't let what else is happening when his relationship with other people interfere. And that was such great advice at the perfect time, and I curried it with me the rest of the episodes.

00:07:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is so interesting because we have seen the way you were responding and feeling in the beginning of the season every season, right, and it's just such a normal way to feel. But rare is it that someone kind of switches that mentality and is able to compartmentalize the relationship. And I feel like you really did that around that time where you stopped worrying about the other women, or at least that's what it looked like as a viewer. You really kind of locked in on just you and Mel's relationship.

00:08:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, for sure. Now let me go back a little bit further, just give you a little tidbit of insight the whole first episode when I said I'm falling in love, what ended up on the editing floor is But there's a lot of types of love. This feels like puppy love, you know, those little puppies. You just want to be around them all the time. They're so cute, and you know, Mel can walk in and Wagsdale and I'm right there. But early on I did have strong feelings for him and was wondering how he was doing with the other women. And after that conversation with Kathy. It was. It was pretty clear that if I was going to survive in my head and not eat myself up, that I had to change a mindset. Great advice.

00:08:58
Speaker 1: Is MELI your typical type of men?

00:09:02
Speaker 3: There are a lot of things about Mel that I've been looking for, So I don't think I have a typical My daughter's kind of alluded this to this. At the hometowns, I've dated a lot of great men. I've dated a lot of handsome men, a lot of smart men, a lot of wealthy men, a lot of athletic men. What I like about Mel is different than what people might have seen on his initial resume, so to speak. You know, he's a professional athlete, professional football player. So to the rest of the world that might mean glamour and fame and money. To me, I'm a Division one athlete myself, and I know the dedication it takes to graduate from a school like Michigan playing football at the level that he did, and then go on to play for the pros for a single team, and then to turn and become an attorney. So the characteristics that I was reading from his resume, if you look at Mel, were things that were a little different I looked at his dedication. I looked at how curious he must see life to make a change. I look at how one of the things that I projected onto him that may or may not be true, is how he was able to make big, bold changes in his life going from the NFL to becoming an attorney. And I love in my life those moments at which I've just said, forget what the world thinks, what do you want to do? And shake it up. So Meil is my type for those reasons, but not for the reasons that you would automatically see.

00:10:29
Speaker 1: Got it. What sport did you play?

00:10:31
Speaker 3: Doesn't make questions. I was on the palm team and then I cheered, so both were letters. And so sadly all those athletes are really you know, the football players and basketball players who probably put in more hours. I have better statistical credentials at the school because I got two letters and they only got one. But nonetheless, I mean, we've practiced, We've practiced a lot, We traveled with the team, we had our own competitions, and it was it was a lot of work, and I loved every minute. Best seats in the house.

00:11:00
Speaker 1: If you ask me, what did you do what do you do now.

00:11:04
Speaker 3: I'm retired, retired.

00:11:06
Speaker 1: Last October prior to be retired.

00:11:08
Speaker 3: So I'll give you a whole history. So I graduated with a degree in biomedical engineering, and I started selling semiconductors, moved to La lived in LA for a very brief period of time, missed, then moved back to Texas that I missed the medical part of what I was doing, and I sold diagnostic imaging equipment think mri CT scanners, et cetera. And then I got married and we started to have a family. So I got promoted with Sarah, Emily and Caroline, and I was blessed to stay home for twenty years with those babies and had a great time. That's the best job I've ever had. Then I came back to work when I found out, you know, I was not going to remain married, and so there are a lot of things that I had to put back into place in my life. And I accidentally got a job selling in the facial aesthetics market, which is highly coveted. Every woman thinks that's the most clamorous. I like it because it's where all the science is, and so I've been I've been doing that for a while and decided to retire. We'll see what happens.

00:12:12
Speaker 2: Amazing.

00:12:13
Speaker 1: You have a favorite daughter, Joe, I do.

00:12:17
Speaker 3: It's Sarah, Emily and Caroline. And it's funny because I'll tell people this, you know, like tonight I'll be with Caroline. I'll say this is my favorite daughter. They'll all roll their eyes. It's just kind of a family joke that probably every family has.

00:12:29
Speaker 2: That's so funny.

00:12:30
Speaker 3: But we say, we say, what's your favorite colors? Because colors is my last name.

00:12:34
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I didn't know that that's your last name.

00:12:39
Speaker 3: You asked me during the show what his favorite colors? He would say Cindy. Now I'm not so sure. I think he's going to have to say peg as you should as you should.

00:12:50
Speaker 2: As Yes, that's very funny.

00:12:52
Speaker 1: So going into the Stingray date overall, just going into the day in general, what do you what is the goal? What do you want to get out of.

00:13:02
Speaker 3: Mel I think I said it on the show that you know I wanted. I wanted to see if he had started making plans in his mind for me and for us. I also wanted to have a little fun. It had been several days since I'd seen him you know, I just wanted to go back to some of the playful part of our relationship that you know, just I don't want to get that heavy all the time. So I wanted to see us play and I wanted to find out if he had begun to think about what life might look like with me.

00:13:35
Speaker 1: Was that playfulness between you two there most of the season because we don't you know, we only we only get to see so much, and I don't really think as viewers for the most part, we didn't really see like the fun mel, which I believe he is because we've had him on this podcast and he is a lot more. He has a much bigger personality than the show. I think let On.

00:13:58
Speaker 3: I would agree with that for sure. Yes, it was like just a horseback riding for example, first, just even him getting on the horse, and he's self deprecating and he's also very supportive, and he was so fun to watch him literally coach his horse up that mountain, up that trail and kind of be in a moment. And the couches that we sat on outside the observatory were so low that he looked at the producer and said, tell me what you need to get from us, because once I go down, I'm not getting back up again, you know, because it was just a lower couch for him, A tall guy. Yeah, he's very playful, and I thought it was interesting that he wanted to see me outside of my comfort zone and we go swim with sting rays. He's definitely not interested in doing that.

00:14:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell us about that activity. We see you kind of dive in. He's more hesitant, and it feels like you kind of coaxed him to come and try it.

00:14:58
Speaker 3: I was a little surprised by how timid he was, because on the boat, he's like, wow, those are those are big, like they're prehistoric monsters. I thought they would be smaller, but that's an observation. I didn't realize that. He just did not want to interact with them. So we got into the pool and he wouldn't leave the ladder area and I couldn't stay in the ladder area because I'm underwater. Literally, I would be up to my eyeballs on my tippy toes. So I had to I had to go in. I had to go out a little bit further to where the handlers had disting rays and they were all starting the usting rays just you know, it's feeding time. They all know to come out and to swim around. So and I had done it before and it was new for mel So yeah, I look back and he's not following me. Check it like we do in here. You cut me? Should I come back? Yeah?

00:15:50
Speaker 1: So you go to the ninth portion of your date, Well, a wait, before we go to the night portion, how does the sting ray date end? Like where are you guys before we even get to the night portion at the end of that Stingray date, like.

00:16:07
Speaker 3: Emotionally, yeah, yeah, how are you feeling? Okay? So there was a moment at the end of the date where we are he's having to hold me and it's just easier so I don't have to tread water and you can't kick the sting ray so if I had to go to him. So he's holding me, we're kissing and we're snuggling and we have a moment and I said, I just want you to know this is real for me, like I have real feelings for you. This is not for show. This is truly how I'm feeling. And I think you're a great guy and I could see a life together and I don't need it tomorrow, but I could start seeing it and I'm kind of surprised myself, and he at that moment says, this is just really fast for him. And I got back on the boat and I thought, have I been misreading this? You know, I kind of thought this is the direction we were going. And you know, he had talked early on about, you know, wanting to go to Austin to see my kids, and he met my kids, and I don't. I just I was just a little confused getting back on the boat, but also wanting to still continue to have a good time. But listen, I I could have a good time and not put myself out there as the way I did on this show to come home with a boyfriend. You know, I could stay in Austin and go have a boyfriend.

00:17:31
Speaker 1: Well, I also get how that that would be kind of jarring to where it's like you have this nice little moment and then it's like that that's tough, and like I understand, Like you know, I've I get where Mel's coming from with like with a lot of the but you know, in the same breath, this is kind of what you signed up for. Like it is like the show produces engagements so like, there has to be a part of you that needs to be willing to take that leap of faith, even though if you're not that person. If you commit to the show, you are kind of committing to taking that risk. And I feel like he I don't think he was able to do that.

00:18:14
Speaker 3: Once he's but he's allowed to. He's allowed to have his own views and to be hesitant at that moment too. I recognize that Mel. I've been dating, you know, I've had lots of experiences. And Mel told me on at the Limo night that he was using this experience to kind of the date to look at a different and a lot of different type of women, to kind of try on a bunch of shoes, to use a Cinderella analogy, I guess. But he was using this process to do something that I had already done in real life. So it's fair for him to get to this point and to say, Wow, I hadn't even thought about finding a girlfriend. It's a little much for me to think about finding a fiance, right, So I get it. I guess that's a great point.

00:19:03
Speaker 2: I didn't even think about that. Like if you're in your shoes thinking like, well, I've tried on all these different men, and I've figured out kind of exactly what I'm looking for, So like when I find that person, I know, like, hey, I'm ready to commit. Whereas Mel, he did say on the podcast, I think as well, like he hasn't been dating, like this is his time to date. So then to jump from like I just started dating to I fail my wife has got to feel like a huge leap for him.

00:19:32
Speaker 3: I think about that. I agree.

00:19:40
Speaker 1: Do you think, Cindy it would be different if Mel had done the experience the way you guys did, where if he was a contestant vying for the Bachelorette and then became the lead because he technically never did the show.

00:19:55
Speaker 3: I just got goosebumps everywhere. That's such a good question. That's a really good question.

00:20:00
Speaker 1: A lot of them, you know, Yeah, that's a really good.

00:20:02
Speaker 3: Way because you know, I thought about like production wise, you know, would he have been a little less reticent in front of the camera if he had gone through it as a contestant. But I think you're right. I think that's a really good point that he may have emotionally been more open to it and more more vulnerable to it having gone through as a contestant. But very good question, and yeah, I agree.

00:20:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were wondering as well about he seems to have this strong feeling of like you're in the game, you finish the game. If you're in the game, you finish the game. And I think that is such a lead focused mentality because their game goes from night one all the way to the very end.

00:20:50
Speaker 1: Finish.

00:20:50
Speaker 2: They have to finish. They don't have a choice, like their game is. They walk into night one knowing that they have a job to do till the very end, whereas the contestants, you're kind of like, I don't know my game's gonna end, Like my game is up to you, or like I say, I think I have everything I need to know I'm leaving. There's no certainty of like start to finish.

00:21:15
Speaker 3: Also very good point. But if he is going to require people to be in it to the end, he'd better keep his eye on the ball. I think he took his eye off of their relationships. And I can't really put my finger on what really happened. I think it like it just kind of got too too real for him, and I felt him pulling away, And maybe it was that it was Peg all along, but I could tell you it was. If it was Peg, he wouldn't have been kissing me like he did in the water. So I just think that maybe he just lost track of the ball and was looking at the timeline to your point, Serena, that he's looking at completing all those steps, but he forgot to carry the ball with him in those steps, and he wasn't really progressing in a relationship with me or you know, trying to figure out like what life would look like with me? What how you know? What is really what struck me? And I haven't really brought this out anywhere yet, but we were in my in my condo for hometowns and he's shaking a cosmo for me. I may cry this, It's.

00:22:22
Speaker 2: Okay, it's really emotional, like you're doing a lot of reflection.

00:22:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. So on our one on one day, he said that he had a special cosmo that he liked, and cosmos were like one of my top drinks, and so he had the ingredients set to my condo and he's shaking me this condo. It's literally the shakers spilling everywhere, and I don't care. I'm just watching this amazing man in my place, and I thought, wow, I could this is what I want to be doing on Tuesday, you know, on the everyday. Yeah. And I think Mel was just going through to process part of it and maybe took us off the ball and stopped thinking about what Tuesdays might be.

00:23:09
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:23:09
Speaker 2: And that's so hard to have that visual of knowing what you could have in front of your face and then having it taken away from you.

00:23:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:23:21
Speaker 1: Well, now you could go out and have Cosmos on Tuesday, you know, I bet, I bet somebody's got a happy hour in Austin. You can go have a good time and have a have a Cosmo at the bar, at the proper. That's where you should go.

00:23:31
Speaker 3: I go, I go out all the time. Don't you worry? Don't you worry?

00:23:35
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's let's go. So now we enter the night portion of the date. And now it's all making sense into like kind of why you went in there somewhat hesitant and questioning him more and kind of just like walk us through that moment.

00:23:53
Speaker 3: I needed answers you to going to the fantasy suite for me, And I love the idea of going off camera, no MIC's and having that time, and Mel and I had already had some conversations that we were both like, okay, those are We're gonna talk about this when there are no cameras around, because we don't want to share this with the world. But going to the fantasy suite also from a from my perspective, maybe I'm old fashioned, but even if nothing happens in the fantasy suite, you're gonna have to answer questions to that the rest of your life. Speaking of bars, I came home from LA and I go to the bar, meeting a friend there and a man comes up to me, A very hot man comes up to me and says, I saw you on the show. I recognize you. I loved watching you, and I'm going to buy you a drink because you didn't go to the fantasy suite. Oh, it's from a guy's perspective, that's awesome. And so I knew that if he was not going to commit in the end, I'm not here for a boyfriend. I'm just not. I'm simply not and I don't want to continue to put my life on pause. Were the hope of a boyfriend, it just wasn't enough for me, And I knew that Mel was worthy of more. He's he definitely had, you know, my attention and my interest, and if I didn't have it for him, that's fine. But I just you know, I didn't need to go to fantasy suite, so I needed some answers in order to accept the card, and I honestly didn't want to embarrass him if he gave me the card and then I said no, So yeah, that's where I was.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: Anything that's honest as I could be in LA Did you go to his fantasy suite?

00:25:35
Speaker 3: This was an auto and my answer is no to that, do you go to his sweet I'm dead?

00:25:43
Speaker 2: So when you're going into that conversation, obviously you did not get the answers that you were hoping for or looking for in order to continue the process with Mel. What could have Mel said or done in that conversation that would have made you feel comfortable to continue forward.

00:26:02
Speaker 3: I did not expect him to make a commitment to me, or to pick me over Peg, or even to say it's going to be you in the end. But I feel like a man in this position, if you're going to spend this amount of time, you're down to two women, and if you haven't started to think about how your life is going to integrate. And PEG and I are completely different women too. So if you're thinking about if I'm Meil and I'm thinking about my life and I haven't thought about my life with Cindy and how that might be, how that might work for him, how that might be different for him, what the challenges might be, what questions he might have for me about those challenges. If he's not on that level and he's not really in the same place that I am, and you know clearly we're so far away from an engagement if he's not there.

00:26:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, did any part of you wonder if he, in that moment had already made his decision and was feeling like you know, I already know it's Peg.

00:27:03
Speaker 3: No interesting now. I mean, if if it was PEG all along, he wouldn't have behaved with me the way he did. Yeah, Yeah, trolls me on the dock. And you know, if you if you know you're going to be with someone else, you refrained from those things. I mean, you have niceties and you're gracious, but I think a man or a woman, if you already made your mind up, you behave differently. You're not continuing to kiss and hold and hug and have those those intimate moments if you've already made your decision up.

00:27:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like the word that's been used a lot with malice, he has a lot of integrity. It would surprise me if he would keep you if he had known it with someone else, like if he was like, I'm one hundred percent sure it's Peg. I assume that he would likely be upfront with that with you.

00:27:57
Speaker 3: And I knew that if I asked him questions, like you know, I'd gone too the fantasy suite and asked him what happened with Peg, he would be honest with me.

00:28:04
Speaker 1: He was.

00:28:05
Speaker 3: He really was very upfront with me, and I felt I could I felt I could trust him for sure.

00:28:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, he strikes me as an honest, like blunt person like he wouldn't. I don't think he's the type of guy that would just like lead you on no or.

00:28:22
Speaker 2: Like sugar cuts something to make you feel better.

00:28:25
Speaker 1: All right. I think this is a good place to take a break with Cindy and we will be back for part two.

00:28:31
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening. We will have a new and assisive interviews every single week. Stay tuned for Part two with Cindy Bye,