166 | CCPT is a Way of Being, Not a Technique: Wisdom from Art of The Relationship

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode, we are in the summer school series

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and I'm going to be reading a section from Art of The Relationship

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by Garry Landreth.

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I read Innovations in Play Therapy, another one of his works last week

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and we're moving into a section from the Art of The Relationship today.

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And I have all kinds, Eric, My husband, has been getting all kinds of

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used texts, pretty much everything Landreth has ever written

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and then any other seminal works.

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So you're gonna be getting all kinds of stuff from all different kinds of sources,

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but I'll always make sure you know where it comes from.

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I really do recommend that you buy the

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Art of The Relationship if you don't already have it,

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the fourth edition just came out.

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So I have the first edition and then we just recently got the fourth edition

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so you can get any version.

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But obviously the newer, there's going to be some updates and things like that.

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But before I get into that section, which by the way is

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about what child-centered play therapy really is.

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So it's gonna be a good one, y'all.

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But I have a couple of housekeeping things.

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Number one, the June cohort for Play Therapy

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Professional certification program is closed

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completely full.

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So congrats to everyone who is getting ready to start in the June group.

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However, we have an August group forming as we speak.

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So if you are interested in meeting with me for a discovery call

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that would be over Zoom, you can have 30 minutes to kind of chat with me.

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Let me know what your goals are and what you have in mind

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and we'll make sure that the Play therapy

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Professional Certification program is right for you.

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We are actively

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forming groups for the August cohorts. So just wanted to let you know if you

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wanted to do June and you missed out.

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Don't worry, you just have to wait a couple of months and you can start in August. So

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please reach out if you are interested in that

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playtherapypro.com is where you'll find out about that.

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Also,

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as you know, I have been reading a few transformation stories here and there

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and I wanted to read another transformation story before we get into

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the summer school series.

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This

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interestingly, I've had two Gabbys in a row reach out.

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So I had Gabby from South Africa and now I have Gabby from New Zealand.

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But this

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is such an interesting

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email and for all of those of you who are school based,

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all of you who have a background in schools who

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have a background in working with kids in other capacities.

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This Gabby from New Zealand is an early childhood educator,

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teaching children 0 to 6.

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So I want you all to know that child-centered play therapy works

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even in classroom settings, even in daycare settings, even in

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other arenas outside of playrooms.

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And Gabby's email will speak to that.

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So let me read you portions of her transformation story.

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Can't promise I won't cry. It's kind of my thing. But you know that about me by now.

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So here we go.

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I'm an early childhood educator from New Zealand.

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I've been teaching children aged 0 to 6 for 10 years

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and I've always had this hole in my heart and felt

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torn between the way we were taught to be with children

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and the way I have always felt is right.

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I love to learn.

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So when a New Zealand based CCPT introduction workshop came up, I jumped at the chance

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along with 15 other women from all different backgrounds,

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including social work counseling, primary school education and early childhood.

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We delved into what CCPT looks like feels like and the magic that it does.

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Needless to say it felt like a weight had been lifted. Off my shoulders,

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giving children freedom, true freedom,

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without adult desired outcomes,

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without judgment, without expectations,

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accepting them wholly as they are and everything they bring with them feels right.

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I was in tears most days as the power of CCPT was cemented in my being. Oh, my gosh.

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Isn't that true.

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Unfortunately, I can't carry on with the rest of the new Zealand program.

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But once I completed the introductory course, I stumbled upon your podcast.

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I'm working my way through all your episodes and

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I've shared your podcast to anyone who will listen.

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Thank you, Gabby. By the way, I've never listened to a podcast in my life.

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I'm so glad I'm your first. That makes me happy.

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Ok.

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Ironically, I don't listen to any other podcasts either.

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I only am a podcaster, but I don't listen to them.

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So I know that puts me in the outlier category as well.

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Ok. So let me continue reading Gabby's email.

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I'm so blessed because my current role in early childhood is a curriculum lead.

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So I spend my time mentoring coaching and inspiring

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a team of 25 teachers from all different backgrounds,

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knowledge and skill sets.

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So needless to say they all know about CCPT now. Oh my gosh. It makes me so happy.

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I spend time role modeling as best I can, reflective, responding,

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acknowledging choices and limit setting.

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I have noticed the amazing benefits like shy children now,

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feeling confident to speak up in a group setting where usually they would hang back.

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Children who were demonstrating challenging behaviors are acting out less

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and less because my teachers are giving them more opportunities

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to control their environment and giving them decisions.

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So many of my toddlers can now put on their own shoes and

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pockets because we have stopped doing it for them

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and are now supporting them through the

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challenging process by reflecting their intentions,

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their perseverance and of course their success.

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My teachers are empowered as they bring me stories every week,

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about successes they've had using these techniques.

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They are noticing their relationships with children are deeper,

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more trusting and more secure.

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Their conversations last longer with children and

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children's language is developing so much more

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children are more easily regulated. Transition times are smoother.

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There's less tantrums because children are feeling heard and seen

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through empathic listening. I could rave on for hours

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like you said in one of your podcasts.

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Once you know about CCPT, it becomes your mission to advocate for it.

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I am now an avid,

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avid advocate for CCPT techniques and truly believe this

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framework could change the face of our future generations.

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If we work on growing happy content, self aware, regulated, empowered children,

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now

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they will grow into the most amazing generation of adults who know and

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accept themselves and others are aware of their impact on the wider world,

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are empowered to change what they can

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and then they can raise another generation of happy content children.

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So thank you. You get it.

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You help me to get it, which helps all my teachers and parents at my center to get it,

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which literally affects,

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which literally affects over 130 families each week.

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My heart beats fast to think of uprooting my family to come and train with you.

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Come on, New Zealander. I'm happy to have you in Florida.

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What a dream that would be. But for now, I'll stay grateful.

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I have the opportunity to share your work with as many people as I do right now.

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As the saying goes, even the smallest act of kindness,

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like a drop in the ocean can make a significant impact.

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I may be just a small drop in the ocean, but I can already see the ripple effect.

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Thank you. Or as we say in New Zealand,

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nga

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mihi

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nui.

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I think,

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sorry if I botched that Gabby

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and then I wanted to read you a little bit of a

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follow up because she and I had a little bit of an exchange

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and I want to share one final thing part of her transformation story.

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I've been quote on the floor in my center this week

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working with 2 to 3 year olds and I've loved every minute

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I've gone from feeling burned out in my sector to

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inspired and renewed with my new knowledge of CCPT.

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Listen to the show. At

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first,

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I was worried about how I could implement

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the techniques and principles in a group setting.

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But when I saw instant change when interacting with one child,

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my confidence grew and now I'm acknowledging reflective, responding,

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empathic listening with groups of toddlers, which is usually utter chaos.

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My teachers are soaking up everything.

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I'm role modeling and I kind of feel like they're

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superheroes because the children are just so much more content,

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responsive and calm

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due to the simple way my teachers and I are being with them.

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Thank you for inspiring this group of very tired, stressed,

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burned out teachers to a new way of being

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that has renewed our love of being with children.

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Oh my goodness.

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And really,

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no matter, no matter the setting, no matter the environment,

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no matter

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whether we're in a playroom or not,

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it's about loving being with children

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and it's about being with them.

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It's about being

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child-centered.

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It's not about doing child-centered.

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It's about being child-centered

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and Gabby and your team.

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Thank you for working so hard. Thank you for implementing CCPT

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Gabby. Thank you for the email. Thank you for letting all of us know

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what an impact that has had in a

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setting. That's not a counseling setting.

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You know, most of us are clinicians that work in the counseling field,

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the therapy field.

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So what an incredible thing to know that

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it's working in schools.

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And I have actually quite a few

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practitioners that have trained with me

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that their goal is to actually bring on teachers to their practice.

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So they're doing the play therapy

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side of CCPT and they want to bring on

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teachers because one of the struggles that we have as clinicians

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is that often the teachers are acting so differently toward children

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and there's a disconnect.

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So Gabby and to your team, all of you in New Zealand

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from all of us,

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nga mihi nui

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if I'm saying that right.

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Thank you from us. Thank you for working so hard to love on kids.

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It makes our job easier.

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It makes your job easier and it makes the world a better place.

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And y'all CCPT is incredible. Just it,

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it's just incredible. It makes me so, so happy.

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All right. So speaking of being CCPT, that's the perfect segue

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because that's what we're going to talk about today from Art of The Relationship.

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And I'm going to read a couple of small sections out of chapter five in the book.

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And this is Doctor Landreth's approach

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to what child-centered play therapy truly is.

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And I'm going to share some thoughts after I read some portions.

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But let's just digest this for a bit because I,

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I think especially on the heels of that transformation story, email,

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this will just totally sink in and we can just kind of sit in the pocket of this.

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So I'm reading from the book now,

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child-centered play therapy is an approach that

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must be internalized and lived out,

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internalized and lived out,

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not just talked about or known about.

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The CCPT approach is an encompassing philosophy

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for living one's life in relationships with children,

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not a cloak of techniques. The play therapist puts on,

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upon entering the play room and takes off when leaving.

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But a philosophy resulting in attitudes and behaviors

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for living one's life in relationships with children.

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Gosh, that's so powerful.

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It is a way of being based on an intentional commitment

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to certain beliefs about children

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and their innate capacity to strive toward growth and maturity.

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Child-centered play therapy is a complete therapeutic system,

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not just the application of a few rapport building techniques

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and is based on a deep and abiding belief in the

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capacity and resiliency of children to be constructively self directing.

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OK.

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So

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I'm going to share a little bit more from the book in a minute. But

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what I want to take a second to focus on here,

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I think where CCPT

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has been misunderstood

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and

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misused

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and misguided and diluted and all the things that we

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talk about and all the things that we lament.

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It's not about a skill set.

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It's not about walking into a playroom and flipping

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the switch and all of a sudden we're child-centered

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and then as soon as we walk out of the playroom,

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we can flip the switch again and we're back to being whoever we were before.

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It is

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an encompassing philosophy

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for living life in relationships with children.

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And therefore it's an encompassing philosophy for

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living one's life in relationships with humans.

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The more CCPT

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you become

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not notice that I said it's not the more CCPT you do,

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the more CCPT

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you become,

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the more it influences every single interaction

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you have for the rest of your life

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changes, your marriage changes your parenting, it changes your friendships,

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it changes your conversations,

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it changes your understanding of communication.

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It changes the way that you perceive things

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because you are child-centered.

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You are CCPT,

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you don't do it.

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You don't practice it, you don't know it, you don't learn about it.

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You don't talk about it.

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You are

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CCPT

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that can't be lost or forgotten

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in

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the dilution

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of CCPT

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or the misunderstanding of CCPT.

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Let me continue reading

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the child-centered play therapist trusts the child's innate

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inner directional,

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constructive forward, moving

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creative

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self healing, movement toward growth.

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Let me say that again. I love it.

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The child-centered play therapist trusts the child's innate

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inner directional,

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constructive forward, moving creative self healing movement toward growth.

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When this philosophical belief is lived out with children in the playroom,

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they are empowered

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and their developmental capabilities are released

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for self exploration

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and self discovery

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resulting in constructive change.

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All right.

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And then here's the last part that I'm going

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to read from this section of chapter five.

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The CCPT therapist is concerned with developing the kind of relationship

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that facilitates inner emotional growth

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and children's belief in themselves.

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All right, here's, here's where it all centers and boils down.

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CCPT is an attitude,

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a philosophy

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and a way of being with children

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rather than a way of doing something to or for children.

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I'll read that again.

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CCPT is an attitude,

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a philosophy

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and a way of being with children rather than

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a way of doing something two or for children

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being with requires seeing and experiencing what the child sees and experiences

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achieving the child's frame of reference,

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contentment with not knowing,

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patience and understanding a child's emotional struggle.

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So when we think about our work,

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when we think about being a child-centered play therapist,

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when we think about all of the energy and time and effort that we're pouring into

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being the best child-centered play therapist that we can be,

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please do not let yourself get caught up in the skills.

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Do not let yourself get caught up in the knowledge.

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Do not let yourself get caught up in the learning.

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Do not let yourself get caught up in

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all of the things you're supposed to be, quote doing.

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This is a being

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you are child-centered,

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we become child-centered.

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There's a being of child

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centeredness,

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it's not a doing, it's not an acting, it's not a talking, it's not,

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it's not anything other than being.

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And if we remember that and we honor that

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and we prioritize that

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we are truly embodying CCPT

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what it is meant to be, what it was designed to be.

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Everything that it represents. Everything that it stands for,

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everything it was founded upon.

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It's a being CCPT

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you don't put the hat on and then take it off.

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You don't turn the skills on and then turn them off.

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You don't act one way and then act a different way.

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It's who you are.

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It truly is at the heart of everything that you believe about yourself and children

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and humanity.

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So let us not

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get so caught up in

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everything that we need to do to improve our skills

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that we lose sight of the fact that it's just a being,

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it's the relationship

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and it's the being

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that makes child-centered, child-centered.

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I hope that encourages you. Hope it grounds you back to where you need to be.

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And this is why we're doing this summer school series because

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the way forward is

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looking back at what this was supposed to be in its original state,

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even though it has become a lot of other things to a lot of other people.

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We're going back to the foundational texts

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because that grounds us and that keeps us where we need to be,

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which is just being CCPT.

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All right. You know how much I love you. Hope you have a lovely week.

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We'll talk again soon. Thanks for hanging out with me. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast

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with Dr. Brenna Hicks for more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.