The One About Poop Etiquette and Last Meals

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It is La La Keent. Welcome back to the Give Them La La Podcast.

00:00:12
Speaker 2: I am dying because I went on the GRAM and I asked, y'all, what do you want to talk about? Let's talk about it all and today I don't know what y'all are on, but you.

00:00:24
Speaker 1: Had the best questions.

00:00:28
Speaker 3: They came through.

00:00:29
Speaker 1: They did come through.

00:00:30
Speaker 2: Usually, like I know the drill, it's usually going to be about my relationship with the cast, talk about Mandi Pump Rules.

00:00:37
Speaker 1: I got it. I love talking about that shit.

00:00:39
Speaker 2: But there's a lot of questions today where I was reading them going.

00:00:43
Speaker 1: First of all, this is awesome.

00:00:45
Speaker 2: Second of all, I love that you're turning to me to get advice on this.

00:00:51
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to hear these questions. I haven't heard of Orsino.

00:00:54
Speaker 1: I They're good. Yeah, yeah, they're really good. Did you have a good weekend, Jess?

00:00:59
Speaker 3: I did. I had a relaxing weekend, saying some karaoke with myself, did some cleaning.

00:01:06
Speaker 2: I saw that on your Instagram. Yeah, you were supposed to be folding laundry.

00:01:09
Speaker 3: I was, but I needed to do that first and I got it out of the way. One song, easy breezy and then moved on to folding laundry. Went to Santa Monica for breakfast, just like little things like that. How about you, though, because I saw you attended a gorgeous baby shower.

00:01:25
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:01:25
Speaker 2: I had my two best friends since childhood, Madison and Danielle there. We recorded a podcast that will come out next week. I loved having them. I got to see Danielle's baby for the first time in person.

00:01:39
Speaker 1: He's so unbelievably gorgeous.

00:01:43
Speaker 3: He's so gorgeous.

00:01:45
Speaker 1: He's like the most perfect little human. I was like, I have to say, besides my own baby, because we all feel that way obviously, this is the most gorgeous baby I've ever seen.

00:01:56
Speaker 3: Was Ocean? How was Ocean with.

00:01:57
Speaker 1: Him completely obsessed?

00:01:59
Speaker 2: Would wake up in the morning and it's so cute now because I think because Ocean's been hanging out with Summer Moon a lot. Ocean usually calls me mama, but Summer Moon calls her mom mommy. So now Ocean has started calling me mommy and she screams it at the top of her lungs in the morning, Mommy, momy. It's the cutest thing, like from her crib yep yep. So I would go in there, Oh it's eleven eleven, make a wish, my loves.

00:02:31
Speaker 1: But I go in there. And the second I would go in.

00:02:34
Speaker 3: There, she go, baby, baby, baby.

00:02:37
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yes, we're gonna go see the baby. Danielle let Ocean holds Rome. She was just in heaven and I asked her. I said, do you want mama to.

00:02:47
Speaker 3: Have a baby?

00:02:48
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh yeah, I said boy or a girl? It was girl.

00:02:52
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, she said girl.

00:02:54
Speaker 1: She did say girl. Interesting, isn't that Yeah. I don't even think she knows. She just wanted the because so she doesn't care.

00:03:01
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm working with Ocean on cause she can say yeah. And We've been watching Miss Rachel a lot. But I'm trying to get her to understand when I ask a question, to not not have it be yes or no.

00:03:15
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, you ask a question.

00:03:18
Speaker 1: Like do you want asparagus or spinach?

00:03:23
Speaker 2: And even if she just points like, I need her to understand, like I'm asking you a question on these two, it's not yes or no.

00:03:29
Speaker 3: Oh.

00:03:30
Speaker 2: Sometimes she'll say yes or no. She always says yeah, and I'm like, but which one this or this?

00:03:37
Speaker 3: But her yeah, yeah, mind you. Every time I see her, because I'll go like maybe a week without seeing her because I'll be working from the office. She's like all these new words are added to her vocabulary. So I'll see her and I'll say things like like the last time I saw her at the office, I was like, I think I said. She was like pointing to the door, and I was like, what do you want? What do you want? And I think she said something like open, yeah, open, and.

00:04:01
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, shocked. It's so cute.

00:04:05
Speaker 2: So we had a full house this weekend, which is not hard to fill a house that's not a house and it's an apartment.

00:04:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, but hey, it's like you love that, right.

00:04:15
Speaker 2: I love people on top of each other. Yeah, it's my most favorite thing. So Maddie and Danny came into town, and they came because Christina Kelly is having a.

00:04:23
Speaker 1: Baby in March.

00:04:24
Speaker 2: Her due day is one day after Oceans, which is amazing. I'm secretly hoping that it falls right on Ocean's birthday. I hope it's March fifteenth. And she was like, she goes, I don't want it to be March fifteenth because I don't want, you know, that's Ocean's birthday, and I go.

00:04:41
Speaker 1: But then we can like split the cost of birthday parties. I'm just gonna say, be awesome.

00:04:45
Speaker 3: And also when you I feel like when you're a little girl or little whatever, when you're a child, you enjoy sharing a birthday with your friend until I think, until you get to like sixteen, and even then, do you remember I remember being so oh excited if I heard someone had my same birthday and being like, we should have a birthday party together and all those things.

00:05:06
Speaker 2: I just like sharing things. I've always been that way, Like I don't care if you get the same outfit as me. I don't care if you get the same shoes, bag, whatever, Like I really don't care. I don't care if you share my birthday. And I like people that have my same birthday because yes, even if it's around the same time, we can share a birthday party.

00:05:23
Speaker 1: And then if no one shows up, it's like, well they didn't like you. They don't like you either.

00:05:30
Speaker 3: That's so true. Well, Caessa, you don't have any friends.

00:05:34
Speaker 2: Eat, you don't have any friends with me. I love being miserable with someone.

00:05:39
Speaker 3: There you go and you have each other. So then you're both weirdos.

00:05:44
Speaker 1: If no one shows up, totally, I just like a little partner in crime.

00:05:47
Speaker 3: That's funny.

00:05:48
Speaker 2: So the baby shower was absolutely beautiful. I loved it because there were no games.

00:05:55
Speaker 3: Oh you like that?

00:05:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, all play games.

00:05:59
Speaker 2: I'm down for it. But it was just like a group of and it was men and chicks.

00:06:04
Speaker 3: Okay, is that how it usually is?

00:06:06
Speaker 1: I feel like Britney's boys came towards the end.

00:06:10
Speaker 3: Okay, it with all women.

00:06:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was.

00:06:12
Speaker 2: You know, Christina and Max gave a really sweet and heartfelt speech. But other than that, it was like there wasn't opening gifts in front of the group, which is great for us because I really don't care.

00:06:24
Speaker 1: What you got. Yeah, I hate to be that person. I really don't give a shit.

00:06:29
Speaker 3: This is great because I think a lot of people throw these parties like me planning like a bridal shower, and I'm like, what did people like I don't don't okay in front of gifts?

00:06:37
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:06:38
Speaker 2: And then, but more importantly, the person that the baby shower is for doesn't have to sit there.

00:06:43
Speaker 1: And put on some like oh my gosh, I saw it for fucking twenty five hundred hours.

00:06:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if someone gave you the same gift, like the oh my god, it's okay, like or whatever, because I can keep this one in the car and.

00:06:58
Speaker 1: I can put this one. It's like, it's just exhausting. Yeah, I hate that.

00:07:03
Speaker 3: Did you do that?

00:07:04
Speaker 1: I never had a baby shower.

00:07:06
Speaker 3: You didn't know.

00:07:07
Speaker 2: So that's what's so amazing is if I have a future partner and we like decide to have a commitment ceremony, I've never had a bridal shower.

00:07:17
Speaker 1: I've never had a bachelorette party. I've never been married, never had a baby shower.

00:07:23
Speaker 3: Like, I've never had any of it. That's great. Yeah, that's amazing. You get to do them all for the first time.

00:07:27
Speaker 1: I get to do them all for the first time, which is so great for me. Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

00:07:37
Speaker 2: Let's get to the questions real quick because I can't stop thinking about them.

00:07:41
Speaker 1: And I'm going to put the best one at the beginning.

00:07:44
Speaker 2: Pooping in a small apartment you live in with your boyfriend.

00:07:48
Speaker 1: How to get confidence with it.

00:07:51
Speaker 2: We just talked about this literally minutes ago.

00:07:55
Speaker 1: Okay, this is going to be a TMI. This question and what happened.

00:08:00
Speaker 2: There's something very satisfying about going to the bathroom. And I've been there where like I've gone to boyfriend's homes and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm there for the entire weekend. How am I going to like not take a shit'.

00:08:15
Speaker 1: Just call it what it is.

00:08:17
Speaker 2: My mom always said, everyone does it. I think opening the conversation. I feel like that's why I'm so open about talking about things, because shit gets awkward sometimes, and if we just break the ice by like talking about it, things are way less awkward, right, Yeah, And like, guess what, your boyfriend's going to take a shit too, and it's probably not gonna smell.

00:08:38
Speaker 3: Great, and probably more shits.

00:08:40
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a lot.

00:08:41
Speaker 2: You're gonna eat funky food sometimes that taste delicious but is funny on the bowls.

00:08:46
Speaker 1: Just rip off the band aid.

00:08:48
Speaker 2: By the way, Pooperrie is also great. I keep yeah that travel poopri Yeah, just spray that. My favorite thing to break the ice is after you go potty, just like roll out to your man and be like I would avoid that area for just a sec and then it's like, Okay, yeah, she took a poop and I'm going to sum at some point take a poop too, and.

00:09:09
Speaker 3: It's not weird. We all do it.

00:09:12
Speaker 2: Question, even Beyonce is taking massive shits sometimes.

00:09:15
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know about the question if you're in a because I hate this, but I know a lot of people love it. If you're in a long term relationship, do you ever get to a point where you take a shit while your man is in the bathroom?

00:09:32
Speaker 2: I think you got to keep that part private, you know, because during sex and things like that, you want to keep it spicy and you just don't want to think about the gross stuff.

00:09:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's it, I think.

00:09:48
Speaker 1: Don't you agree?

00:09:49
Speaker 3: No? I agree. I'm not one which people are shocked about because Kyle and I are so open with each other when it cut and I live in a one bed, one bath when it comes to bathroom stuff off limits. If he like I've been, don't want to hear about it? No, I don't want to. I mean he is, like he's a man and typical with the bathroom stuff, so like sometimes it's fine, but like if I'm doing my hair in the bathroom and he comes in to even go pee, I'm like, oh, do you okay? Do you need me to excuse you for a moment, and he's like yeah, and I'll get out shut the door. Never And if he like goes takes a shit in the bathroom, I'll say, like did you spray? And like how long should I avoid the area? I'm just not a bathroom person, so like bathroom humor or whatever. So for me, if i have to go, I'll go in. I'll spray. I always spray and use the poopery and then I'm usually quick like a few minutes and then I'll leave. And if it like is really bad in there, I'll say something like my tummies a little off, maybe avoid the bathroom for like a few minutes. And he'll make jokes about it. But yeah, I've never been like I've never been one to like take a shit in front of my man while he's brushing his teeth.

00:10:56
Speaker 1: Oh no, you do that?

00:10:58
Speaker 3: Get the fuck out, or like even when they're in the shower. I'm like a lot of my girlfriend's, like my one friend from home, she's like, you don't use a bathroom when your man's in the shower. What if you got to go? I'm like, well then I got to hold it, And she's like no, I'm always in there.

00:11:12
Speaker 2: See, my mind just goes to like there's nothing worth Like if I'm brushing my teeth, I'm picturing like it's going in my mouth. Or if I'm taking a really warm, yummy shower and you're taking shit, steamy shit, I don't want to, please, don't.

00:11:27
Speaker 3: I can't smell that along with my like gorgeous shampoo or something.

00:11:30
Speaker 1: No, No, that's.

00:11:31
Speaker 2: Why I think just the little thing of hey, just like stay out of there for a sec.

00:11:35
Speaker 3: I like that.

00:11:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know yeeps, I poop.

00:11:42
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:11:43
Speaker 1: I get more afraid of gas.

00:11:45
Speaker 3: Granted, if you are someone who sits in front of your boyfriend and he's fine or your man or your girlfriend whatever, and they're fine with it, more power too you, More power to you. I just personally, I don't know what it was. If it was something in my child, who knows, But I'm just not one of those people like gas, you're like farting. Yeah, I mean that I agree with.

00:12:05
Speaker 1: How do you do that?

00:12:06
Speaker 2: Like if you are in the bed with Kyle and your tummies acting funky, what do he well? If you just let her rip?

00:12:14
Speaker 3: Easy for me, because he'll go He goes to bed at like eight pm. So I'll it's wild to think, but I kind of still hold it. And we've been together for almost seven years.

00:12:23
Speaker 1: You hold it well, so not all night.

00:12:26
Speaker 3: I hold it until he goes to sleep, and then I slowly release. But like Kyle, I mean, we've had talks about this. I'm like, you have to go to the doctors. You fart too much. And he's like, I'm like, you gotta like.

00:12:40
Speaker 1: Get it together.

00:12:41
Speaker 3: You get it together. He farts constantly and laughs about it, but he's respectful too. He's like, I'm trying, like I'm trying, but sometimes it just slips out.

00:12:50
Speaker 1: But me, I feel like it's really unhealthy to hold it. Jess, I know, but.

00:12:54
Speaker 3: I don't hold it for long or if I really have bad like gas, I'll walk into the bathroom and he's like laying in bed and I'm like, ooh, this is gonna be bad. I can't hold it. I walk into the bathroom, let it go, and then walk back into the bedroom. But he goes to bed at like eight PM, and I don't go go to bed until like ten or eleven.

00:13:13
Speaker 1: So, oh see, some stank will wake me right up?

00:13:16
Speaker 3: Really? Oh yeah, me too, though, Do you hold around your what previous partners do you just let a rip like sound and all.

00:13:27
Speaker 1: Well, I mean previous No.

00:13:29
Speaker 2: That's why I can speak on it being uncomfortable, because it's like you hold it and then it's like now I just need.

00:13:35
Speaker 1: To throw up. Yeah, because I'm so sick. My stomach is just air right now.

00:13:40
Speaker 3: Really. Yeah, I don't even find it like disgusting. Like my she won't hate me for saying this, but like my sister and my best friend constantly letting it rip around me, and I think it's funny and like, but there's something about me, am I saying them, Yes, that's what it is. I'm not having sex with them, and it's just something about it that I'm like, I don't know, I hold it in. But then he doesn't care.

00:14:00
Speaker 2: Because he's a trainer. And I've noticed people that are into fitness and health. Yeah, they think about it as like.

00:14:09
Speaker 1: You can't hold it, you got to get it out, Yes, because it does this, that and the other to the body. And when this, that and the other happens to the body, your muscles do this, and your blah blah blah does that.

00:14:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I've noticed, So note to self I'm gonna go for someone who's in the health industry because then they're gonna want to hear about that stuff and they're.

00:14:27
Speaker 1: Gonna be like, good for you. I'm so happy for you.

00:14:29
Speaker 3: Yes. And that's the thing is that he talks to his clients, and since I'm a client of his, he had to talk to me. He shows a chart of poops between one and ten and he'll say, point, what does your poop usually look like? So he's very and you have to point, and he tells you if it's healthy or not. He talks to women about periods, so it.

00:14:46
Speaker 1: Is very like scientific. Yeah, I'm technical. Amazing question.

00:14:51
Speaker 2: I hope that you and your partner get to a place where you can poop in the same space. Yeah, not together, but in the same small apartment. Yeah. This person says, how do you not let the unknowns take over your mind? We talked about this, I think last week. Keeping your head where your feet are because I constantly sit in the what ifs?

00:15:14
Speaker 4: You do?

00:15:15
Speaker 3: What do you elaborate on that?

00:15:18
Speaker 2: I think about things one hundred years from now. But what if this happens, then this is gonna happen, and then if that happens this will happen, and thirty seconds has passed and I've already talked myself into the deepest, darkest hole you could possibly be in.

00:15:32
Speaker 3: Right, we did talk about this because it's anxiety, and it's the worrying twice. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. Why not worry about it when it happens.

00:15:38
Speaker 2: Versus exactly, don't cross bridges that you don't have to cross yet. So when that happens and you start going into that place. This is why I constantly am preaching to people to have a higher power, no matter what it is.

00:15:52
Speaker 1: I don't give a shit that you can.

00:15:55
Speaker 2: When you feel yourself looping and spiraling into that place, you immediately have the tools to sit down, take your deep breaths, punt it to something greater than you, remember where you are, look around you and see where you are, and become connected with that space. Like Okay, right now, I'm sitting down, I'm doing a podcast, I'm keeping my head where my feet are, and we're not moving from this space right mentally, you got it, Like connect your feet to your brain.

00:16:26
Speaker 1: That's what I have to do. When the unknowns start taking over.

00:16:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you who taught you that again said like you say, you shouted them out last week, but I just they said that to you and it seemed like it really changed your perspective of lawyer. Head where your feet are?

00:16:40
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, because when I entered this new phase of life and what I was going into, I was constantly thinking about the what ifs and that will take you out.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, that'll take days off your life or your Yeah, and the anxiety and the stress and they I think keeping your head where your feet are it sounds so simple, but it's like, yes.

00:17:03
Speaker 2: No, it's extremely difficult. And that's why I think everything has to work in tandem, the punting it to a higher power take over. It's becoming too much. Now I'm going to do what I have control of, which is mentally getting myself to be exactly where I am and focusing on right now. And when I get to the place where I have to cross a bridge, we'll deal with it then. But I ain't crossing bridges I don't need to cross because someone could burn that bridge.

00:17:31
Speaker 1: Yes, How am I going to cross a burn bridge? You don't?

00:17:37
Speaker 3: That's so true? Did Chris Medina say the burning bridges? Was for you in twenty twenty four or was that for you at the moment?

00:17:44
Speaker 1: No, he said when did I mean it was in twenty twenty two? He said? This is the year of burning bridges.

00:17:50
Speaker 3: Okay, and we have that on an episode.

00:17:52
Speaker 1: Right, No, I haven't had him. We should get him back on the podcast.

00:17:55
Speaker 3: And now everyone will DM and be like, when's he coming?

00:17:57
Speaker 1: Let's have him back on. I'm gonna reach out to him.

00:18:00
Speaker 2: Okay, this person wants to know, are you keen on doing IVF to have another baby?

00:18:06
Speaker 3: Ooh, good question.

00:18:08
Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to it. Did I say that right? Opposed to it?

00:18:12
Speaker 3: I'm not opposed to it?

00:18:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, whoa?

00:18:14
Speaker 2: That sounded really weird, really kind of Do you ever say things and you're like that makes zero sense all the time?

00:18:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I question it and I spell things and I'm like, well that's not how you spell it, and it is weird. You're not opposed to it? Is IVF after you freeze your eggs or is that something?

00:18:31
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:18:31
Speaker 2: IVF is you take your eggs out, take the sperm, and create an embryo and then they insert it.

00:18:38
Speaker 3: Interesting, So this is IVF is one of several techniques available blah blah blah to help people during IVF, and egg is removed from the woman's ovaries and fertilized with sperm in a laboratory. The fertilized egg, called an embryo, is then returned to the woman's wombs. So maybe it don't freeze it first, or do you.

00:18:55
Speaker 2: I think most people that decide to do IVF, they're not freezing their eggs. Okay, they're like taking it's when you're really struggling to get pregnant, they take the eggs if you if you haven't met a partner. People, it's really like insurance on being able to have a baby. You freeze your eggs, whether you're the one that carries the baby or a surrogate carries the baby. You're just taking the eggs before.

00:19:21
Speaker 1: You get to the point where like there's no eggs or the your numbers drop.

00:19:27
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm not at that point yet. I went into a fertility specialist.

00:19:32
Speaker 1: He said that I.

00:19:34
Speaker 2: Could be an egg donor. Okay, yes, but he said everything. This is when I was, you know, weighing my options for a sperm donor, which I'm still thinking about.

00:19:45
Speaker 1: That is not out of the question.

00:19:47
Speaker 2: So I just wanted to make sure everything was good and right and tied up there it is.

00:19:51
Speaker 1: I'm not a posed IVF I will do. I know.

00:19:54
Speaker 2: I want another baby, So whatever I need to do to make that happen, whether it's meeting a partner, even though that freaks me the fuck out to have a baby with somebody, or IVF, sperm donor IUI type deal, any of it, any of it. I just want Ocean to have a sibling and I want to experience being pregnant again.

00:20:16
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, it's all wild, like the egg freezing and all of it is like so it's very I've I've you know, I know, we talked about this a little bit a few episodes ago. I don't know if it's all, but a lot of it seems like privileged stuff to do. I don't know how much IVF costs.

00:20:33
Speaker 1: It's you it's expensive. Yeah, it's extremely expensive.

00:20:38
Speaker 3: Okay, so it's all it's like with same with egg freezing, and like a lot of all stuff is so expensive and it's like just you know, good for any of the women who can do it and who can afford it, and if you can't, it's like a ton of us other women. It's like maybe something you think about down the line, and if not, then it's just something you sort of pass up. It's very interesting. I'm I'm still obviously learning a lot about all of it, because I just asked what IBF is.

00:21:04
Speaker 1: Well.

00:21:04
Speaker 2: I have friends who, from the time they were like little kids, have just been incredible with children, right, they just have had this like motherly instinct from the time they were little tots. Yeah, and they struggle to get pregnant. And I went through this guilt thing calling my friends who are going through this journey and saying like, I'm pregnant sixty days after I removed my IUD you know. And I still struggle with it where these people have incredible marriages and incredible lives and I'm sitting here with a baby, and my world essentially has like that's all they want in life is a baby, and here I have the baby with like kind of a messed up situation.

00:21:46
Speaker 1: So that fucks with my mind. Sometimes I'm not even opposed to adoption. I just want a baby. However the baby gets here, wherever the baby.

00:21:54
Speaker 2: Comes from, I just know I would like another child. Yeah, So that's where I'm at.

00:22:01
Speaker 1: Are the questions good today, Judy are really good.

00:22:03
Speaker 3: These are great.

00:22:05
Speaker 2: Oh, this one's funny and well not funny, kind of like dark but also.

00:22:13
Speaker 1: It'll be quick. What would be your last meal on Earth? So if you were to it's your last day and then you're getting taken out, do you know yours? Yeah? I know exactly what mine would be.

00:22:25
Speaker 3: I it's weird because I think, like, if it's my last day and a meteor's coming, I would just be like I wouldn't necessarily be thinking about food, and I was sitting with my loved ones. But if I had to. Oh, I hate to say this, but I think I think steak and potatoes. And I hate to say this because I know we're on our journeys right now.

00:22:47
Speaker 2: Well after we yeah, after we went to the sanctuary. Yeah, like now I really want to give up the meat. Yeah, but I'm not judging you. This is your last day on Earth. Yeah, it would do a steak, any sauce.

00:23:01
Speaker 3: I would do a steak, no sauce, just a nice mediumware steak. Oh my god, garlic butter, I guess would be the sauce. Then I have my garlic mashed potatoes and then broccoli done. Yum, that's what I'm eating. That's just what I'm eating. What about you?

00:23:17
Speaker 1: I would have and I've actually cut this out of my diet, like long before we even visited the sanctuary. Okay, a lambio. I know it's horrible, but it is the best thing on earth. I would have Bokleva for my dessert.

00:23:35
Speaker 3: Okay, good.

00:23:37
Speaker 1: And to be honest, if it's my last day, we're going out with the bang, I'm having a jack and coke and I'm gonna wash that down with a vodka soda. We're fucking shit up.

00:23:45
Speaker 3: A jack and coke first. So I always thought your drink of choice when you were drinking was vodka soda. Why jack and coke?

00:23:51
Speaker 1: That is that?

00:23:51
Speaker 3: Like?

00:23:51
Speaker 1: I just I just liked to jack and coke with a meal, youkay?

00:23:55
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:23:56
Speaker 1: And I loved to shoot honey jack Oh my god. See.

00:24:00
Speaker 3: And that's another thing too, that's interesting. I've talked about this before with Kyle and said, if let's say we knew a meteor was coming and we haven't, we had a few hours left to live, I would want to get hammered. And someone like Kyle said he was like, absolutely not. I would want to be completely sober, like I wanted, like take in those moments with you, those these last moments on Earth. I am going to be so drunk.

00:24:24
Speaker 2: Let's be real, if it's my last day on Earth, for real, I don't have an appetite. I'm vomiting, and I'm extremely upset exactly. That's why it's just like, it's an easy question. Don't think about it too much. Yeah, because it let's be real, if any of us had our last day on Earth and we knew it was our last day, yeah, devastating.

00:24:46
Speaker 3: Devastating, devastating. So I'm getting hammered. I'm not like, because I talked about this with him too, I'm not trying any new drugs like I'm not because some people are like, oh my god, then I'm gonna do mushrooms.

00:24:56
Speaker 1: It's like no, no, no, no, I'm sticking to what I know, the drink.

00:25:00
Speaker 3: Sticking to what I know. I'm getting hammered. Yeah, maybe if I can stomach a steak. I'm eating the steak. But I'm really just focusing on time with my friends and family, and I get list.

00:25:12
Speaker 1: I really want to spend a lot of time with my friends and family, and I want to give Kyle a bloodless big kiss.

00:25:18
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's not really happening. Let's keep its surface level because if we go there, it's gonna take me out if I start going to like ocean's face and like no, my god.

00:25:31
Speaker 3: No you can't do that. Did you not hear the Jim Carrey story. It was Jim Carrey. I believe. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. But it was a celebrity. I think it was Jim Carrey. He was on Hawaii and he was with his assistant, and I think he has a child.

00:25:43
Speaker 1: You say he was on Hawaii Island.

00:25:46
Speaker 3: He was in Hawaii. He was in Hawaii. They get he gets a text from his assistant or there's an alert that says there's a missile coming. You have like an hour to live. Basically, take cover. You're about to die, like literally. Their textsas that he's talking to his assistant and they're like what do we do? And hiss. He basically is like I don't want to die in a car like trying to get off this island. So I'm just gonna have to accept my fate. So he either I don't know if he has a kid or not, but he ends up being on the beach and sitting there and he's like, Okay, this is it. And in this moment, he said he and you can google this, he like accepted his fate and like thought about all these different things and it was like a true moment of just like accepting his fate. And I think he called it a beautiful moment. But and then they get a caller text that like that was a April fool and he was furious, but like, which I would be too, but.

00:26:43
Speaker 1: I'd be furious too.

00:26:45
Speaker 3: Wild.

00:26:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that I feel like, who knows, Maybe you do tap into something where it's like, Okay, this is happening, and I now I'm going to see what the other side may or may not be.

00:26:58
Speaker 1: Damn, this just got deep. I know, I really enjoyed your simple question of what my last meal would be a yarro with blac lablah. Let's just leave it at that.

00:27:07
Speaker 2: At that, Okay, how do you manage to keep your cool and not talk about all the things that are going on?

00:27:14
Speaker 3: I actually wonder that about you all the time.

00:27:16
Speaker 2: It is the hardest thing in the world, it really is, to not just like get on my story and be like.

00:27:26
Speaker 1: Here it all is here.

00:27:29
Speaker 2: It all is an out every single person who's participated in the shit.

00:27:35
Speaker 3: The self control that you have is astounding. Just so people you know, your friends on here. No, the amount of times I've told Lalla like it's time get on, you know, make a video and time to tell the truth and we're gonna release it, and she's just like so another caliber and is like, Nope, it's not what we're gonna do. I just got to control myself, got to keep moving forward. So I don't know how you do it. I would have been, well.

00:28:04
Speaker 1: Firstly, I think about Ocean.

00:28:07
Speaker 2: M hm, yeah, you know, it's I feel like I'm playing a game of chess, which is I'm not used to that at all, you know, but when someone is when someone fights with fire, then I have no choice but to fight with fire as well. But it's I think about her first, and then I also going back to how do you let the unknown not take over? When I get to that place, I have to remember to keep my head where my feet are.

00:28:37
Speaker 1: And we're not doing that.

00:28:38
Speaker 2: This is we have to like I believe in the universe, and the universe has a plan and God has a plan, and everyone is held accountable at some point.

00:28:47
Speaker 1: Okay, even Tom.

00:28:48
Speaker 2: Girardi at the ripe old age of almost eighty had to answer.

00:28:53
Speaker 1: For what he did.

00:28:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're all going to have that day come, and I just kind of lean into that. Now will there may be be a day where I say it's it's time, I'm fucking done. There may be that day where it's like, bring the fucking dogs out now I've had enough. Yeah, not time yet.

00:29:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, And thinking about yeah, I can tell. I mean I see it in you. Every day you think about ocean, and then you have your faith that like that what's done in the dark will come to light, like you always say, so, I just have to.

00:29:31
Speaker 1: Because it's all about ocean. It's all about ocean. Yeah, so I have to, like and protecting her.

00:29:41
Speaker 3: How wild is that that literally two and a half three years ago, it was probably about you, not that saying your self is Persian. But for me, most of most things are about me right now I don't have someone to go and then all of a sudden, in within nine months, it's not about you. You would literally put your life on the line for this being in the world.

00:30:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I think.

00:30:08
Speaker 3: I mean it's just incredible, like I think about it with moms and dads, and I'm like, well, it's.

00:30:13
Speaker 2: A very animalistic thing that happens. You know, you see it in the wild with bears. You come for a bear's clubs like that mama bear is clawing you to death.

00:30:25
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about ocean. Yeah, so there's that look at me. I'm wired. I'm like, maybe I.

00:30:30
Speaker 3: Can go live right now. And like when it comes to that shit, I am not the best assistant because I'm like, yeah, here we go, it's time. I'm like setting the lights up, relax, not time.

00:30:45
Speaker 2: The relationship changes within the vander Pump Rules Cast.

00:30:49
Speaker 3: How does it, oh, like, how does it change his season?

00:30:52
Speaker 4: Well?

00:30:52
Speaker 2: I okay, so it says the Vanner Pump Rules Cast former, so maybe the former cast. Well with both, I mean there's so much that happens where a passionate group, the littlest things set us off. That's why we have a show on the air. Yeah, because it's not normal most people that can shake things off, like our group maybe has a little bit of a tougher time. Things that happened four, five, six years ago that like most people would be like that happened a really long time ago and people change. Our cast is like nope, holding you accountable.

00:31:21
Speaker 1: Still for that. It's a lot.

00:31:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the former cast, like some of them want nothing to do with vander talk, so we leave that in the background, and other people like Dody I feel like she's pretty open to hearing about it.

00:31:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she talks about it. She talked about it on your podcast when she was a guest. Yeah.

00:31:47
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:31:47
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:31:48
Speaker 2: There's something about the former cast when they can say like, hey, I don't like talking about this because it affects me in this way that I'm like, I just love honesty so much.

00:31:59
Speaker 1: You do when you can tell me.

00:32:00
Speaker 2: Like, hey, by the way this affects me, it kind of ruffles my feathers.

00:32:04
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it. Great. Yeah, I'm not a mind reader.

00:32:08
Speaker 3: It's the dirt. I just think you love director, tell me what you want so then I can go in that d It's so simple and so many people don't do it. You don't want me to do this anymore, and it makes sense. Okay, great, not going to say it, not going to do it. It's the tiptoeing and like oh you did this, and like, well, I didn't know not to do that.

00:32:26
Speaker 2: I don't know it's true or the coming from an angle of like really like you let it fester and then you hit a breaking point. And it's like we all do that where we try to shove things down where communication is something like the thought of it is so easy, like just express yourself, but it's like that shit is hard.

00:32:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it is hard.

00:32:47
Speaker 1: It's really hard.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: It's hard to come from a place of vulnerability instead of like this affects me and the only way I know how to deal with these feelings is to immediately go into defense mode and aggression.

00:33:02
Speaker 3: Do you ever because this is thinking about you and like, because I do this all the time. Not all the time, but I used to. Do you ever find yourself in an argument or in a battle in midway through you realize like, oh shit, I'm on the wrong end, but now I can't back down. I gotta keep going or do you never You're like, if I'm about to go into an argument, I know I'm I'm probably right.

00:33:24
Speaker 2: No, I go into arguments all the time. I mean it's a rare occasion. Like our producer the other day, he was like, it's so crazy, Lalla, because like you go into an argument one hundred and eighty percent right and like you may be completely wrong.

00:33:40
Speaker 1: But by the end of the conversation it's like, wait a minute, maybe she's right.

00:33:47
Speaker 3: You, and every went around you is like good points, you're right, law.

00:33:51
Speaker 1: But I think I think too much on the details. I don't know what it is.

00:33:56
Speaker 3: It's interesting.

00:33:57
Speaker 2: But if you make a valid point, I have no problem being like, you know what, that makes all the sense and I completely understand what you mean.

00:34:03
Speaker 1: Now, Yeah I fucked up.

00:34:05
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I'm backing down.

00:34:07
Speaker 1: Yeah I can back down in two seconds. Yeah, I just, in my mind make a lot of sense.

00:34:14
Speaker 3: I mean, you do. You argue with the best of them.

00:34:17
Speaker 2: The hardest part is is I can't argue with someone who wants to hold me accountable for things that happened a really long time ago that we've already talked about. Yeah, and that's what happens with the show a lot of the time. Yeah, is they want to bring I don't want to say they, because not all of them do this, but a specific person loves to go back to what I did when I first entered the show or when I was drinking, and it's like we've talked about it. We already talked about this. Yeah, I live in today. Yes, and it's also hard when you have people who want to hold you accountable.

00:35:03
Speaker 1: But it's like, who the fuck are you?

00:35:06
Speaker 3: Right?

00:35:06
Speaker 2: I got people to hold me accountable, all right, I live, My mama lived with me, bro, my mama can put me in check. I got a sponsor to put me in check. Like, who the fuck do you think you are that you're gonna be schooling me on life? Yeah, once you become Bethany Frankel, then yeah, you can school me on a lot of shit. Until then, shut the fuck up.

00:35:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why only a select few I believe can do it and they stay on TV. And that's you guys, because I'm like not sure how, but.

00:35:36
Speaker 1: I just want to keep making positive changes in my life.

00:35:40
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, we have. It's like I am not the same person I was last week, and I enjoy that you are not the same person you were who knows yesterday last year? Definitely not when you were drinking. So it's just like wild to me when people bring up things that you did when you were drinking or whatever, even last year. It's like, that's not me anymore.

00:36:01
Speaker 2: Well, because a lot has changed. I made a lot of decisions during my drinking days or even take the drinking out when I was young that like I look back and go, I don't recognize that person. But without that moment, I wouldn't be here right now. And you know, I saw the first episode of vander Pump. Oh my god, yes, they sent it to us.

00:36:25
Speaker 3: How do you feel?

00:36:26
Speaker 1: I think it's great. Okay.

00:36:28
Speaker 2: I think my past and things that I have said and done are going to clyde with the person I am now. And there's going to be a lot of people who call me a hypocrite and want to hang on to that person that I.

00:36:41
Speaker 1: Used to be.

00:36:43
Speaker 2: And there's going to be people who say, like, Okay, she's come really far. And I have to be okay with those people who call me out right, And this is where I have to practice the separating reality from reality.

00:36:56
Speaker 3: What do you have to say? Like, let's say, though right here, someone said you're someone just viewed watched the first episode of season ten and they said, oh my god, Lala, you're such a hypocrite. What do you have to say to that those people?

00:37:09
Speaker 1: Nothing?

00:37:09
Speaker 2: Oh my breath is so precious and my time and energy. I don't need to convince you of anything. Who the fuck do you think you are that I that I need to sit here and explain.

00:37:21
Speaker 1: My case to you. I don't have to. I think that's what's so nice about this.

00:37:26
Speaker 2: Is we we know when we're filming the reunion already, and I just there's gonna be certain things where I'm like, I'm not arguing about this. Yeah, yes, sometimes I say stupid shit, and I'm okay with that.

00:37:40
Speaker 3: Moving on, Yeah, I'm okay with that.

00:37:43
Speaker 1: We all do. The difference is mine's documented for all of you to fucking.

00:37:47
Speaker 3: Judge me exactly exactly.

00:37:51
Speaker 2: There is a scene though, where I'm like, oh my god, episode one. In episode one, okay, I'm like, I am just like, I don't who is that person?

00:38:01
Speaker 3: Really?

00:38:03
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like a throwback scene, Oh okay, like a flashback okay, and I'm looking at myself going crawl into a fucking hole. What are you doing?

00:38:13
Speaker 2: But again, that moment is like, it's things like that where I sat down the day that I got sober and said, these are the reasons why I've got to stop drinking. Not that I was drunk in the scene, but I was still in my alcoholic mind where you just don't think. And even now today, I have many moments where I'm a dry drunk where I have to say, you know what, it's time to pick up the fucking big book and do better dry drunk.

00:38:43
Speaker 3: That's interesting. I bet a lot of people deal with that, and I don't know of a single person. I'm sure there are some out there, but I don't know of a single person that doesn't have a moment or for me, millions of moments in my life where I could I could be shown on a screen and I would just be so humiliated's so disappointed, so disgusted. I just I don't know of I'm sure there are the people out there who are like oh, but I just don't know of many.

00:39:10
Speaker 1: I'm not at the place where I can go back and watch old school vander Pump. Yeah, I still cringe and get embarrassed. And next year I'm gonna look back on this on season ten and cringe and be embarrassed. I don't know that that will ever change. I think it'll change when the show is over and I'm like an old woman with grandkids walking around where I'm like, you know what, you guys are old enough, let's see what Graham was like back in the day.

00:39:34
Speaker 3: And then you can laugh and be like, oh, she was wild.

00:39:36
Speaker 1: She was wild. I'm not there yet.

00:39:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, I still look at myself and go, wow, we got it. We got some work to do, but.

00:39:44
Speaker 3: That's on fucking growth. And I hope and pray that in a year from now, I'll look back at some things I rode in my fucking journal and be like, oh my god, what a silly girl. She had no idea, or like things that I'm like, oh, thank god, I don't think that way anymore because I'm growing, right, which is like, congrats. I hope a lot of us are like that, right, So I think that's great.

00:40:04
Speaker 2: So I think we all just need to be easy on ourselves. Yeah, you're gonna be a different person tomorrow than you are today. You're gonna fuck up tomorrow and learn from that. It's just like you just roll with it. You know, none of us are ever going to be perfect. We're gonna say things that we wish we didn't say, and tomorrow we're.

00:40:22
Speaker 1: Gonna say things we wish we didn't say. We'll fuck it whatever. I don't give a fuck.

00:40:28
Speaker 3: That's okay.

00:40:29
Speaker 1: That's life.

00:40:30
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take this moment. I'm gonna have it be a teachable moment for me. I'm gonna hopefully do better, and I'm okay with the mistakes that I'm gonna make tomorrow.

00:40:38
Speaker 3: Bravo, Right, Bravo, Yes, give me a sound bite of that.

00:40:43
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a lot of work to be a living, breathing human.

00:40:47
Speaker 3: It really is. And congrats for everyone who's you know, trudging through.

00:40:53
Speaker 1: Life and making it work.

00:40:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, you woke up this morning, Good for you. Celebrate that.

00:40:59
Speaker 1: I'm just like proud of all of us to be all of us too. So there's that. There's my uplifting speech. I love you guys so much. Thank you for tuning in to another chaotic episode of the Give

00:41:11
Speaker 2: Them Lalla Podcast, and I can't wait to talk to you guys next week.