BONUS: Sobriety

00:00:05
Speaker 1: Hi babe, Welcome back to the bonus episode of The Gift That l LA Podcast. This episode is going to probably be the first that is nearest and dearest to my heart and soul. Today. I've partnered with Ninja Thirsty to bring you this episode. It is all about sobriety. I'm approaching six years one day at a time, but six years in October October twenty second, and that's kind of when I feel that my life became real and it was. It is the proudest thing I've ever done in my life, besides becoming a mom, but I think beyond being a mom, this is probably the number one thing that I'm proudest of because my sobriety has allowed me to be the mom that I want to be. I've asked you guys to share some of your sober stories, and I'm grateful for whoever is like feeling comfortable to open up about their sober journey because it is not easy. A lot of people don't like to venture into their rock bottom moment. That's one of my most favorite things to do because it reminds me why I'm here. And I think we got a lot of people who have sent in notes and videos, so I'd like to just kind of get it pop in now.

00:01:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a lot of beautiful, beautiful things, and I feel like we'll save a ton of these two for another episode, law, because there's so many, Okay, And I just know people are always asking about your sobriety story, even though you talk about it all the time. No, no, all the time. But I'm like, she's You're always like bringing it up, which I love. And then people are like, she never talks about her sobriety, and I'm like, we want to know the story.

00:01:55
Speaker 3: You say you're sober, but I do. I can see where they're coming from if they want the in depth. It's behind the.

00:02:01
Speaker 1: Scenes the bts of this silver lifestyle. Yeah, so I tell you how the sparkling water, yeah, which the partnership just made sense. I will say though, now that we that I have chronic heartburn, the ninja thirsty stays with no bubbles and just the flavor because like, I can handle no bubbles.

00:02:25
Speaker 2: Really, Oh, I jack my bubbles up right now. Especially I've been doing going on the rooftop of my apartment. Yeah, to just like chill on Sundays, and I'm not drinking right now. So I'm like, just because I don't want to, it makes me feel yucky. So I jack up the bubbles because you told me to put in the flavors, and then I bring it up to the rooftop. I'll do three of them in a giant water bottle so it stays cold and I just sip all freaking morning laud in the sun.

00:02:49
Speaker 1: Oh she's a bubbly bitch. I'll be back at it come September.

00:02:56
Speaker 2: Okay, So first one, we did get a lot of of a lot of things. We didn't get a ton of videos, but I get that that's a very this is a very vulnerable thing to write in with. So let's play this first one from Rita on the Rocks. Rita, thank you for sending this video. You guys will see it in the YouTube video.

00:03:17
Speaker 4: Hey Lala, my name is Ritaz and the Rocks. I got so excited when I saw this message because sobriety is so important to me. Plus, I wrote to you a couple of weeks ago and was telling you my story about gambling and how I had two and a half years clean off the bed and I relapsed and hit a second bottom and when they say, you go back out there, it's worse, when it's so much worse, so much worse. I always knew I laid gambling. My brother was a the drug addict that took his life. My dad and I found him when I was fourteen, and my mom passed away when I was sixteen. I claim from a broken heart after what happened to Anthony, and I really want to get the message out there about gambling. It is an epidemic in this country. It's it's spread into state after state, and I mean in Ohio, they are quote sending advertisements to to underage kids.

00:04:18
Speaker 3: Yo.

00:04:18
Speaker 4: I go on the boardwalk up here in New Jersey. I'm in Wildwood, New Jersey. Your kpe mang up on the boardwalk. It's like many casinos, but it is tickets thingts, tickets, tickets.

00:04:28
Speaker 2: What we're doing is groominal.

00:04:29
Speaker 4: We're just grooming the youngiges.

00:04:31
Speaker 2: So that is that's the second video. So I think it cut off a little, but obviously gambling.

00:04:36
Speaker 1: Rita on the rocks. I wonder where her email went.

00:04:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, the email really quick, just because I'm gonna see she does she mean DMS?

00:04:46
Speaker 1: If she did DMS. But either way she got to me. Now I agree with her. I think that the gambling is definitely an epidemic, and I have to say it's some one thing that I didn't experience in my childhood, just because I came from Utah, and like when we would go to Vegas, Dad wasn't really into gambling. My mom still to this day tells me, don't go to pavilions. Yet I have a coupon, so that bitch certainly ain't trying to give her pennies away. She's trying to save them. But I was kind of in the gambling world when I got with my ex, and it just did not interest me. It felt like a very dark place for many reasons. Her saying that when you go back out there, like once you've been clean from something, whether it's gambling, alcohol, drugs, when you start dabbling, that it's very dark and it's so much worse I can imagine, because you've reached such a milestone, right with two years, and then you already have to deal with the guilt and the shame before you got sober, and then you hit the milestone and then you relapse, think about the shame. Then, can I.

00:06:06
Speaker 2: Ask you about that? And this kind of has to do.

00:06:08
Speaker 1: With both of you.

00:06:09
Speaker 2: Is is there a rule? Because I was talking to a friend the other day who said I was sober for three years and then I relapsed, and it was really hard for me. I couldn't mentally deal with the fact of, like I just start again from day one. So for me, I had to go no, no, no, I relapse one day, I'm back on and I am sober again. But it was one day relapse, and she was like, if I had to say, oh, I'm back, I think I would have spiraled. Is there a like us?

00:06:39
Speaker 1: Like she just picked up where she left off.

00:06:41
Speaker 2: And when people ask, she still says like three and a half years or something, But technically there was a relapse day. I mean it could be.

00:06:49
Speaker 1: I think sobriety is one size or is not one size fits all. It's kind of like whatever keeps you mentally stable. I don't know if she's a the program or not. I certainly would have her start from scratch the time, but if that messes with her mentally, then like you don't want to trigger anybody. But for example, like I had a friend whose sponsor relapsed, they could no longer be her sponsor because you can't. You need at least a year under your belt and all of the steps done before you can sponsor somebody. You also can't have more time than your sponsor, right, so if she were my sponsor, she couldn't be that anymore. Oh okay, I see, because the whole point is to not fall back into that. Like, thank god, it was just one day for her. I don't know. I guess it would depend on who you ask.

00:07:49
Speaker 2: But back to Rita, you were saying, yeah, your shirt's very dark. Did you ever because I remember when we went over an episode of vander Pump you were like, maybe I'm as understood this, but you were like I was saying I was sober, but I kind of was still drinking. Did you ever say you were sober and then have a little relapse or try to be sober and couldn't or no.

00:08:10
Speaker 1: No, it was for me. I told I would say I'm not drinking right now, got it?

00:08:16
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:08:17
Speaker 1: I didn't say that I was a sober person because I wasn't. But they're like a few years back, on way more than a few now, A few years back when that happened, I was going to AA meetings but I was smoking weed and then all of a sudden it like hit me. I was like, I'm making a mockery of this entire program, Like these women fight hard every day to not pick up anything to take them out of their reality, and I'm sitting here like coming to the meeting and then smacking my pen like the moment that I get back to the apartment. So then I had to deal with all that guilt when I re entered AA to talk about all the things that I was not proud of in my addiction. But Rita on the rocks, like for her to open up about an addiction like that, one that I can't relate to, but I know definitely exists in many people. And I agree they are like they are sending that shit to the youngins. It's a huge issue. And my mom always said, do you think that the casinos would be this nice and big if people were winning all the time.

00:09:26
Speaker 2: It's so true, right, so true?

00:09:29
Speaker 1: So I never like I remember going with my ex and he would give me chips to go gamble. Gosh out, motherfucker, I pocketed that shit two seconds, right, I'm more yeah, no, or like I would spend I'll be like I'll spend a couple hundred and that like two hundred, and that's it.

00:09:46
Speaker 2: Once I lose, I'm like two hundred.

00:09:48
Speaker 4: Right.

00:09:49
Speaker 1: If you beg two.

00:09:51
Speaker 3: Hundred, my mom would go, why don't we just put that into investments.

00:09:55
Speaker 1: I would never.

00:09:57
Speaker 2: Really even on slots. I just did to have fun.

00:10:00
Speaker 1: Two hundred dollars, Are you crazy? I'm kidding.

00:10:02
Speaker 3: I got fifty bucks out to go play blackjack with Tap Good and I looked at the fifty bucks and I was like, I don't really need to play that much. I kept it, so I just kept fifty bucks. It's like, eh, I like it in my hand.

00:10:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can tell. I think a lot of people can't, or they're up, and then they I'm just like okay. Or if I'm up, that's another thing. If I'm up more than twenty five percent, if I'm at two fifty, I cash.

00:10:26
Speaker 1: I can't do percentages, so I won't even know if I was up twenty five percent. Hold on, let's see how many decimals.

00:10:34
Speaker 2: On my favorite. By the way, that's not twenty five percent. What fifty is not twenty five percent of two hundred.

00:10:41
Speaker 1: It's okay. When you're you're on a podcast fifty would.

00:10:45
Speaker 2: Be, Oh, yes it is, is it going, guys getting this?

00:10:48
Speaker 1: She went to college. I didn't grab No, But there's so many things that like people don't take into account that you can become addicted to, Like anything at any point in time can be become an extremely unhealthy addiction. Like me though, thinking about well, even if it's gambling, like the amount of alcohol money I'd spent on alcohol. When I would wake up and see those receipts, I was like.

00:11:14
Speaker 3: Let's talk about candy crush up, little gambler.

00:11:17
Speaker 1: You no, No, But then can I tell you when I knew that I was exiting my it was a pandemic, right, a pandemic.

00:11:32
Speaker 2: Handy crush made out so well in the pandemic.

00:11:34
Speaker 3: Everyone did that, but they didn't mean anybody else, but.

00:11:38
Speaker 1: I was crushing it. And now when I see that I'm out of lives, I'll make myself wait like forty eight hours, seventy two hours, because then they're like so excited that you've come back that they give you Hella spoons in like an hour of unlimited playtime, so you don't run out of spoons.

00:11:57
Speaker 2: She just gave you that, you guys.

00:12:00
Speaker 1: So I wasn't addicted, but I doesn't, Or I wasn't you were addictous. I wasn't addicted. I was, but that's when I had two incomes coming into that household. Well, I thought, I.

00:12:16
Speaker 2: So uh this Liam wrote in I can read it my sobriety story. I started drinking at thirteen, and throughout my teen years. This spiraled into excessive binge drinking, but I justified it as everyone was doing it. Over time, I made light of the fact I would quote drink my problems away again. Many people would joke like this. I could always handle my alcohol very well until I couldn't. There was always an over the cliff moment, and there was no coming back. There was no stopping and no control until I'd blackout. I drank through dealing with my sexuality, through not feeling good enough, and just generally through any issues. When my friends were all coupling up and I wasn't, I would sit and drink at home, sometimes up to three bottles of wine in a sitting. I was only around two twenty six at this point. I started to fear the concept of blacking out, hated forgetting everything, and hated not knowing how people felt. About me after I'd been drinking, so I tried to control it. For a couple of years. I managed to balance it well. I got into a long term relationship and we often liked to drink together. Then my dad died, and again every drink was for a sense of solace. I continued to spiral down, slower, darker, longer. This time, I didn't particularly realize it was happening, despite the odd flag of concern from those around me. I blacked out at both of our weddings. We had a smaller ceremony and then a larger celebration. Oh when you got married. Sorry, honestly I missed a lot, but every time I had a drink, I felt this false confidence that it was filling a void. Eventually I hit rock bottom and my character was out of control. In one night, I nearly lost everything, acting with aggression, getting lost on a night out, waking up on a park bench with my pants down. Oh my god, I just got goosebumps. I had no idea what that night became or who I became. The next day, I swore I would never drink again. Repairing the damage took longer, but I've stuck to that and will be two years end of October. Wow, I had no this is the last. I had no previous knowledge or experience of sobriety in my life, but I was a big fan of vander Pump Rules, so Lala actually became a very big inspiration to me in the process. Since I went sober too, more of my friends have and I've supported them best I can.

00:14:31
Speaker 1: That is amazing.

00:14:32
Speaker 3: What's amazing is you as well, you Liam, Congratulations, congratulations to both October.

00:14:40
Speaker 1: Look at that. You know a lot of people get sober in October, and I'm very, very proud you said his name's Liam. Yeah, that's absolutely amazing. And that's how it does start. Though, by the way, and I've heard people say I didn't have I had my first drink at thirteen. I had my first drink at twenty one, And for some reason, we've all ended up in the And when I say in the room, I mean in an AA meeting. And there's just no way to do it. And I'm not saying that everybody should be sober, because I think if you're a Norman, you can enjoy a cocktail or a glass of wine and you don't affect people in a negative way around you, then there's no harm, right, But I do think that most people could benefit from sobriety just because I feel like that it's also an epidemic where life is really really chaotic and we're trying to escape reality. But I completely relate to their story because it does start like I didn't have my first drink until I was eighteen, when I texted my friend and I was like, you know, I went through all of high school and all of my friends had these like really fun moments of like being drunk, and like, I feel like I didn't get to experience that right. And I was the type of person who would rarely drink. I probably drink once twice a month, and it just it's still changed. You know, there was something inside of me that was addicted and I was fueling it the entire time. But it does start as like the confidence booster. You don't have confidence, You're you're feeling like the hair's not sitting right, you don't like the way your makeup is, you're insecure about your body. You have a drink and you're like, suddenly you could approach anybody in the room with confidence.

00:16:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's what you think it is yeah, a game changer too. Though there's a lot of people attracted to confidence. I have someone in my life very close to me who I'm like having this talk with constantly, and he's like, I get crippling anxiety. If I don't drink, I can't make friends. And he's like, I want to make friends. He lives in a new place. He's like, so I need to drink. Like, I literally go out and I can't speak to anybody. I look like a weirdo. The second I have a couple of drinks, I'm like the light of the part. I'm like, you know, he goes and I have friends now, and I'm like, ugh, it's really hard.

00:17:04
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's not abusing it. But see that's where I think the room could benefit him, because those are how a lot of the stories happen. And all of this sudden you realize, oh, I'm not the only one in this room with crippling anxiety. Like we all have it. It's just something that's kind of taken over and we think that with a couple drinks, we have the confidence. Like they said, Liam, it's a false confidence. You start getting sloppy. It's not cute. People start talking behind your back about your drinking. It's not a good feeling. And then when you suffer great loss and it becomes the numbing tool, then you are in the darkest hole of your entire life because alcohol is a depressant. And I love when people are like, well, tequila is not it's made with a gave, Like the fuck off.

00:17:56
Speaker 2: Alcohol is poisoning all alcohol is poisoning you, literally, like, please stop, Liam, you I see this photo of you and your partner and your dog, absolutely so cute and thriving. I do have to say, even after your wedding, you sharing that like blacking out during both your weddings. I don't know if your partner. It sounds like your partner supported you, in which case that's also very beautiful. I think it looks like you're still together.

00:18:22
Speaker 1: Yep.

00:18:22
Speaker 3: And shout out to Liam for being there for the two friends as well and doing right.

00:18:26
Speaker 1: Yea, here for them while still battling him. That's the gift of sobriety. When people around you start looking at you and they're like, I want what you have, you know, that's a that's a really powerful moment.

00:18:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, you started the train right there.

00:18:41
Speaker 1: Remember that and I live my life that way now, like sobriety. Even if you're not a sober person. I think anyone could benefit from reading the Big Book or the twelve Steps, because it's just about kind of becoming a better person. And they're not expecting you to like read this book and now you're different, but you know you're constantly redoing steps. I was on step four for years on end, and I thought I was finally gonna be over it, and then life hit me like a ton of bricks at the Americana one day amends, I'm like, resentments, okay, and I'm like.

00:19:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got some built up respect.

00:19:22
Speaker 1: That's what's going to take a minute. And you know, all of season ten, my sponsor would be like, we've got you're you're angry, and I'm like, it's got to be enough to just not pick up a drink right now. I can't do I can't work the steps right now in an authentic way. It'll be bullshit. I'm pissed off.

00:19:38
Speaker 2: Right and you gotta feel it. You can't move on to the next Is that how it works? You can't like skip a step and be like, welly, I'm on step six, but I didn't finish step four.

00:19:46
Speaker 1: When you first get sober, you should do one through twelve in order. Okay, But then throughout your sobriety you're gonna be revisiting steps all the time. Oh that's good to know. See, that's like it's a constant. You're gonna be going back and re reading the big book. That's why I highly recommend when someone comes to me in my DMS or you know, on the streets and they're just like, I think I have a drinking problem, what do you recommend I do? I'm like, first and foremost, get the book and start reading, and anything that resonates with you, highlight fold the page because you will feel like that book was written for you specifically, you know. Yeah.

00:20:26
Speaker 2: So this is from Jessica. And like I've mentioned, we get the podcast gets a ton of DMS and we do our best to keep up, but they'll get buried on one another. So Jessica messaged for this, in which case she put an arrow upwards. So January twenty sixth, twenty twenty three, Jessica messaged the podcast which we did not see. Hilala and jess this will and may seem silly, but I'm struggling very hard with alcoholism. I don't know how to get off this horrible ride. If I stop, I feel sick. I look up to you for hope, and I know things can and will get better. I just don't know where to start. I love your podcast, and you give me so much hope for my future. I'm unsure of what I'm writing for. Maybe this is just appreciation for the work you do every day, and I hope one day I'll be in your sober shoes. Love you all, Ocean included. Thank you for all of your honesty. God bless all of you now. Yesterday rit sin okay with an arrow up pointing okay, wild. Long story short. I was drinking a fifth of vodka or more a day on the verge of losing my job and was being incredibly irresponsible with my body and finances. I quit drinking cold turkey, experienced hallucinations and horrible withdraws for about four days, isolated myself at my older brother's house, and just went through it. I'm now thirteen months, so, oh my god, I'm getting a hill. Thirteen months so no alcohol, no weed, nothing. I run a department of twenty associates, am almost debt free and about thirty pounds later, almost four months celibate, not necessarily by choice, but it's it's so hard having sober sex anyway, I don't mind. Here it is and so much happier. I was a zombie before, so careless and reckless. I now have purpose and meaning in my life, a sense of self, with a sense of self without my identity being tied to vodka. Thank you for being transparent about your journey, and I can say without a doubt it's helped this lost little bird. It's been the most vulnerable year of my life, but it's freeing being so fucking real with yourself, admitting faults and apologizing to those you love for the ways you've wrong them. I have a supportive and loving team, and I'm so blessed to be where I am today thanks to my sister in laws and brothers kindness. They let me live with them.

00:22:36
Speaker 1: Ah, that's amazing.

00:22:38
Speaker 3: We have tears.

00:22:39
Speaker 2: Wow, this is absolutely beautiful.

00:22:42
Speaker 1: First, I'm very sorry that we missed yes that message.

00:22:46
Speaker 2: January twenty sixth, twenty twenty three, but I think it.

00:22:49
Speaker 3: Was meant to be that we missed it, and we were supposed to find it today.

00:22:53
Speaker 1: You know, Wow, I feel God in the universe work in very mysterious ways that we don't understand until suddenly it all makes sense. Thirteen months sober, that's absolutely incredible. I would say the first thirty days is the most difficult. The next thirty days is going to be really fucking difficult. And they call it a pink cloud. So my most favorite thing, and also what makes me the most terrified, is when I have somebody approach me talking to me about their sobriety and they love it so much, and I love that for them. But what happens is you sink into the reality of I'm a sober person and I can't This isn't something that I'm ever going to conquer. I have to work out every day. And the reason I know about the pink cloud is because when I discovered sobriety and I would walk in to my I call her my angel. She's the one that gave me or presented the Brent Shapiro ash Spirit Award. Yeah, Ashley, we had her on the podcast. Okay, She's the first person I called when I got sober or wanted to get sober. But she I would come in every single Thursday and be like, I just love being sober. Okay, we're on the pink cloud. She's like, I want you to remember, I'm thrilled for you and every day is going to be a gift that you stay sober. But the pink cloud you get knocked off of it real quick because life will still happen. It does not solve all your problems. The difference is your life becomes manageable. And I was like, well manageable. I mean, I've been managing shit my whole life, you know, But that really is the difference. I've gone through the hardest times of my life being sober, and it's like, what would this have turned into had I been drinking.

00:24:51
Speaker 3: Oh no.

00:24:53
Speaker 1: So the fact that her rock bottom looked very different than mine, It essentially doesn't matter what the rock bottom moment is, right, whether it's like not that bad or I know, I've sat in rooms with people who their rock bottoms are like absolutely devastating, life altering, right, But the point is we're in the room, and it does take a while to go around and apologize and make amends, you know, step nine and the people who don't want to forgive you. It's all good. Because you know that you've conquered, not conquered. I shouldn't say that word. You haven't conquered the beast, but you've admitted that you are the problem, that you're powerless over alcohol, and you're not who you really are when you're under the influence people who you want to apologize for things that you may have done to them that they don't know about. And they're thriving in life, so why the fuck would you go and make them aware of something you've done. You write the note and you throw it away where you burn it. You know. There's like so many ways of like saying sorry to somebody, and the people that forgive you those are the ones that, like your heart kind of melts for right.

00:26:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I could do that, not even in sobriety.

00:26:17
Speaker 1: Like that just seems like that's what I mean.

00:26:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, Yeah.

00:26:20
Speaker 1: The book is beneficial to everybody. Yeah, it's just teaching you how to be a kind person. There are moments where you fall off and you're like me, not drinking just has to be enough. Me not being a major see you next Tuesday just has to be enough. Right now, I can't deal with the steps I can't apologize to this person. I for damn sure, I'm not taking accountability in this situation. She's about to say.

00:26:42
Speaker 3: It's almost like it just takes you have to take accountability for everything that you felt like you've done wrong. Just in the book sober or not. I think like it would be a very good thing to even look back and be like, Okay, I did them dirty, not even sober or drunk. But I feel like the apology should be there, you know.

00:26:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they're incredibly difficult steps that you have to overcome in that book.

00:27:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're just saying, like I love when you say me not drinking just has to be enough. Takes me back to the more we've talked about on the podcast, the more general, like even dealing with depression and anxiety. Sometimes days are like me, waking up today has to be enough. I have to be like I woke up today, great, I fred did it. I'm here on earth for another day. Like there you go.

00:27:26
Speaker 1: Well, I think sobriety people who struggle, it allows you to have that mindset, you know, where you can wake up and manage life and your emotions and say today's not the greatest of days. I'm going to take it on the best way that I possibly can. But I'm not at my rock bottom.

00:27:43
Speaker 3: So it's a good day.

00:27:44
Speaker 1: Well it's we're going to take it as a win. I opened my eyes and I and I.

00:27:48
Speaker 3: Tried yep, yeah, and they everyone should take that as a win because I sure as yeah.

00:27:54
Speaker 1: There are days, man, that's all all that I can do.

00:27:58
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:27:58
Speaker 1: Up.

00:28:00
Speaker 2: This is from Jennifer. I have been sober for one year and two days. My life was complete chaos while I was drinking. I had destroyed every relationship with my family and friends. I met my fiance two and a half years ago, and he was a heavy drinker as well. We are both amazed that we are still together after everything we've put each other through. We decided together that the only way out, the only way our relationship could survive, would be for both of us to completely stop drinking. The amount of growth we have experienced individually and together this past year would never have been possible if alcohol were still a part of our lives. I have been watching vander Pump since season one and loved you from the very first second I saw you on season four. I also grew up in Salt Lake, but I'm currently in Indiana. I started listening to your podcasts after I quit drinking because I knew you were sober. It has become my favorite podcast. My fiance now watches vander Pump with me because he appreciates your honesty about your sobriety journey.

00:28:55
Speaker 1: That's incredible. Yeah, I think I could be with someone who was also sobered in the program if we went through it together.

00:29:04
Speaker 2: That is beautiful.

00:29:04
Speaker 1: But that is beautiful because that is not the norm. There's usually always one person who's the enabler of the behavior. Believe in.

00:29:14
Speaker 3: You say you couldn't be with a sober You say you would want to be with a man that still drank.

00:29:20
Speaker 1: You didn't want to be with this who if they did it together, though, I'm saying if we did it together, I think it would be a different it would be a different situation. You know, we we went through our drinking days together and now we both are choosing sobriety and we had like this this epiphany and awakening the two of us to like do this together. That's not normal. The norm is one person always isn't ready to give it up, and that can it and in you know, a relapse for the person who chooses a healthy lifestyle, or on the rare occasion that the person says like, we're just like you're not healthy for me and my new life choices. So that's a that's an incredible story, and.

00:30:05
Speaker 2: Really yeah, that they're together and thriving, the things they probably discovered about each other during that and then being able to have like.

00:30:14
Speaker 3: I don't know how she would think thinking about like, oh, that's going to be a strong bond right there.

00:30:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what you guys say about like sober sex versus drunks, like stuff like that when you're squirting. That is the day. I hope you squirted, Jennifer. I really cute. They're so cute.

00:30:39
Speaker 1: They're way cute.

00:30:41
Speaker 2: I love like a golfer. Their their chic and they have like matching glasses. I love you, mother.

00:30:47
Speaker 1: They're but let me tell you something. This is him. Have you ever really do to Have you ever heard anyone say my life really started taking off and I started thriving when I started getting super fucked.

00:31:03
Speaker 2: Up literally never never hurt, never rappers, even them even then.

00:31:13
Speaker 1: It's like Eminem has been so bare over sixteen years.

00:31:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well he wasn't when he was making a shue Yeah, and it was.

00:31:20
Speaker 1: Really really dark.

00:31:21
Speaker 2: The girl who say the National Anthem, who everyone was sending us a video being like Jess was this is this usual? It was? And she came out a couple of days ago and said, I was drunk. I'm humiliated. But there's a video of her singing and she starts way too high, way too high.

00:31:39
Speaker 1: It happened to all of us. Sure. I also busted into song on watch Rabin's I'm Not the National Anthem, and I thought I was killing it. I thought I was Rihanna. Girl happens. That's what I want to see now, you guys on the bus season seven, when I'm making everybody like tickle and touch me, and I was, she's on Molly. People love to touch when they're on Molly.

00:32:03
Speaker 2: Molly. I've never done Molly or ecstasy nothing. Hell, no, are you crazy? It's just alcohol. You were on alcohol.

00:32:10
Speaker 1: I liked the things from the earth, mushrooms, mushure.

00:32:14
Speaker 2: Were you on mushrooms?

00:32:15
Speaker 1: No, it's because I started having the Sunday scaries. I had been drinking after not drinking for a chunk of time. Season seven when my dad died. Oh yes, that I started having alcohol panic. You know when you wake up and you may have had like a rough night of drinking, and you start having the worst anxiety of your fucking life and you just want to crawl out of your own skin. Yeah, that was me.

00:32:42
Speaker 2: And that's why you were having So you were sober, you were.

00:32:45
Speaker 1: Just I was not sober. I had Mexico. When we went, I literally say to Shina, Mama hasn't been drunk in a while, So I overdo it. And on the bus that night, the alcohol had sunk in and I just had anxiety about my life and I needed people to, like, you know how they say, take a risk, like an elastic and flick your wrist. Yes, it was similar to me wanting that all over my body so that I could focus on that and not what your mind. So yes, it was really.

00:33:21
Speaker 3: Out of your mind.

00:33:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there was nothing like I if I could have had them all just punched me in the face over and over, that probably would have worked best. No, it was the worst experience of my life, of my life. I hated that entire Yeah. No, sobriety is where it's at, dude. Then sometimes I wish I could get like show people like a crystal ball of like your life is gonna happen, but like, imagine life happening and it not taking you out. Yeah, and you're like, you know what, I'm a little bummed today, but like fuck that, Tomorrow's a new day, Like tomorrow could also be ship But guess what, we know that it's it's not going to be that way forever. Yes, nothing is forever.

00:34:03
Speaker 2: Every day can't be your worst day because even if your days continue to get worse, your day before that was better.

00:34:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, this is how I want you all to remember things. If you're down in the dumps, just embrace it because there's nowhere to go but up. And when you're at the peak of the mountaintop, just enjoy the fuck out of it because you will roll down soon. But don't worry because once you get to the bottom, it's get tiking again.

00:34:29
Speaker 2: There you go. That's life, baby, life, That is life life. That showbiz, baby.

00:34:35
Speaker 1: That's showbiz. That's sobriety for you. Yeah, you guys, I appreciate you writing in to to give them la pod Instagram page. By the way, can I tell you how much I love that we'll give them La La Pod because I call my crew the pod that you're not cute, that is cute. I just realized I appreciate all of your sober stories. You guys are awesome. I know that those are not easy to tell, but you're in the same boat as me and I kind of.

00:35:02
Speaker 2: Fun and there were so many so if you ever want to do it again like that was really great for everyone to write in.

00:35:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we'll do it again. I love you guys, thank you for listening, and I will catch you on Wednesday and for the bonus episode next Monda