322 | Art of the Session: The CCPT Therapist's Shortlist—11 Responses That Work In Any Given Moment In A Session

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing with the summer series,

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which is Art of the Session.

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And we are talking through

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the limited responses for the playroom today.

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What I mean by that

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is there is a finite list.

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From which we have to work

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with how we respond

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in the playroom.

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And if we are within

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the list,

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we are adherent.

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If we are doing something other than the list,

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we are likely deviating.

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So we have a very limited set of options

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for how we respond

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and we'll talk through that.

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I think a lot of times therapists miss the boat.

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I think a lot of times therapists make things very difficult,

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unnecessarily,

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and we'll debunk some myths,

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we'll talk about what the options are,

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all kinds of stuff to dive into today.

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Before we get there,

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a couple of things.

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First and foremost.

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So many of you,

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legit,

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so many

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of you took advantage of the discount for the CPRT course.

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I am so excited

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for those of you

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that have already purchased that

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and are ready to add CPRT into your practice with your families.

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I think you will absolutely love.

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Doing CPRT with parents.

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I truly,

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it's one of my favorite things that I've ever done in my 20 years.

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I love every single CPRT that I've ever facilitated.

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So for those of you,

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and there were so many of you,

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like we were all blown away.

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Core Well was blown away.

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I was blown away.

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It was incredible to see how many of you were hungry for that.

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So really looking forward to hearing stories about that.

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Please send me emails.

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A few of you already have.

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Thank you for those of you that have mentioned that you've already

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started doing the course and you've already seen benefit from it.

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If you have stories,

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if you want to share things,

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if you want to ask me questions,

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shoot me an email.

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I'd love to hear from you,

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brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

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Also,

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if you are interested in doing

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coaching,

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we have a group starting in about a month.

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So go to playtherapynow.com.

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You'll be able to sign up for a discovery call.

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We have one spot left in the August group,

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so

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don't wait if you're interested.

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Otherwise,

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you're gonna be in November.

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So I'm just letting you know if you want to get started now,

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you need to hurry,

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otherwise it'll be November before the next one starts.

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OK,

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so let's talk through.

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The

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finite set of options here.

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When we step foot into the playroom,

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we've been going through

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from the ground up.

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What is the process of the session?

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How do we have that initial meeting with parents?

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How do we greet kids in the lobby?

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What do we say when we're walking toward the playroom?

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What do we say when we walk in the playroom?

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Now we're in a session,

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we have a limited

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list

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from which we can choose our response.

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And I am going to go into each of these in more detail

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in subsequent episodes,

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so for those of you that might not be super familiar

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with the skills and or in the context of using them in session,

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we're going to look at each one individually,

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but for today I'm going to kind of hit an overview of what the options are.

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Knowing that I'm going to do a much deeper dive

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as we get into more episodes in this series.

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But here's the myth that I'd like to debunk.

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I mean,

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gosh,

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there are so many,

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but who has time?

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Y'all don't,

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I don't,

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we,

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we'd be here forever.

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But there are so many myths surrounding CCPT

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that I would really love to just absolutely

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myth bust.

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That's such a great show,

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by the way.

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Anyway,

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but if

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we are talking about the biggie,

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I think the,

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the greatest myth surrounding CCPT

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is that there's no structure.

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You just let kids play

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and kids just get to come in and do whatever they want.

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And there's no framework,

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and you just are kind of willy-nilly just hanging out with a kid and

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who knows what goes on in there.

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This

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is really kind of crazy to me

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that this is the notion

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of CCPT

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because I would argue,

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in complete contrast to the myth.

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That CCPT has more structure and framework than any other play therapy model.

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Because we are never

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at the helm,

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we are never deciding what happens,

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we are never

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bringing something new in

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there are never confounding variables there are never changes.

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There's never an unknown.

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We are 100% governed

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by our list of responses.

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Yes,

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we have to execute them

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using the appropriate phrase and understanding how and when,

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etc.

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It's not just as simple as we're pulling from a list,

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but at the end of the day,

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there are no

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other outliers,

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no variables.

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We remain adherent to the skills,

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and that's it.

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So I would argue we actually have far more structure and framework built in,

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and so many of you,

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so many of you have reached out to me

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and said,

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one of the reasons I have fallen in love with CCPT

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is because

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there's a process that you follow.

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There's a system.

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I'm not guessing.

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I'm not throwing something out there.

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I'm not hypothesizing.

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I'm not directing.

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I'm,

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I was always just feeling like I had no idea what was going on,

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but now

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I just remain adherent to the model and there's,

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there's framework for me.

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Yes.

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That's one of the most incredible facets of CCPT.

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We just adhere to the model

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and it's all there for us.

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So

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When a child is in a session,

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no matter what,

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and I don't use an absolute,

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you know me,

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unless it's legitimate.

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No

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matter what,

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this is an absolute meaning

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in any scenario.

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I literally,

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you could give me a list of 1000 things that could happen in a play session,

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and every single one of those 1000 things is going to get

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my same comment.

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You have a skillful and intentional response that you can provide.

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No matter what is happening.

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We're not guessing,

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we're not hoping,

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we're not

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thinking maybe.

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We are using an intentional,

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purposeful,

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skillful response.

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Because we have structure and framework in the model.

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So you might be saying,

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OK,

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great.

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So you keep talking about this list,

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Brenna,

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what's,

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what's our options?

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Well,

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let's start with the basics,

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the three reflective responses.

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No matter what is going on.

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One of these is going to apply at least.

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In other words,

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this is your keep in your back pocket and pull it out at any given moment.

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The pillars,

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some of the other things we're gonna talk about,

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they're

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always going to be relevant depending on the circumstance,

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and

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we're going to fall back on something from this list.

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However,

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in

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any scenario,

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you can either track behavior,

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reflect feelings,

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or reflect content.

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Sometimes you can only do 1,

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sometimes you can only do 2,

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sometimes you can do all 3.

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But regardless of what is happening or not happening in a playroom.

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You can use one of those 3.

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So your reflective responses are going to be your go to standard.

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Reflect feeling,

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reflect content,

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track behavior.

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Then

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another category

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of our options.

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One of the four pillars.

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And we know that reflecting feelings is the crossover.

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So reflecting feelings is a reflective response as well as a pillar,

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so that one has

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double category.

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Then

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you have limit setting,

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you have choice giving,

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you have encouragement.

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So at this point

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with the reflective responses and with the pillars,

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knowing that reflecting feelings is categorized in both.

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We have

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6 options

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that we're going to be pulling from.

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Depending on the scenario,

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we might

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provide a choice.

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We might use an encouragement phrase.

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If a limit is required and necessary,

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we'll set a limit.

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Will reflect feelings,

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will reflect content,

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will track behavior.

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6 options,

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unequivocally

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that you're going to have as

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options on your list.

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Some secondary options,

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you can use esteem building

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responses.

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Serve a similar purpose to encouragement,

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but they are a little bit distinct and separate.

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So you can

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use esteem building responses with a child.

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You can provide narrative commentary.

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For what's happening in the session.

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You can enlarge the meaning

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of what's taking place.

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You can use an I wonder statement.

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You can use the whisper technique.

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That's it,

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y'all.

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Let me count real fast,

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6, 7, 8, 9,

284
00:09:46,609 --> 00:09:47,169
10, 11,

285
00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:47,690
11.

286
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,830
11 options.

287
00:09:50,159 --> 00:09:50,510
Now,

288
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,750
I have a feeling

289
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:52,799
because I just,

290
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:53,869
I gave it a number.

291
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:56,760
I have a feeling one or more of you are going to email me and say,

292
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:57,000
well,

293
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,669
I thought we can also say this,

294
00:09:58,719 --> 00:09:59,479
and then it's gonna be like,

295
00:09:59,630 --> 00:09:59,840
oh yeah,

296
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:00,109
shoot,

297
00:10:00,119 --> 00:10:00,830
there's 12.

298
00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:01,080
OK,

299
00:10:01,239 --> 00:10:02,599
so don't hold me to 11.

300
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:03,710
If I forgot one,

301
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,799
let me know and I'll make note of it in a future episode.

302
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,750
We'll add it.

303
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:08,599
But

304
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:09,830
from my brain

305
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,690
when I wrote down my list,

306
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,549
I wrote down 11 options.

307
00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:16,109
Therapists make this way too hard.

308
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,719
It is not complicated.

309
00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:20,419
It is not difficult.

310
00:10:21,630 --> 00:10:22,619
It takes skill,

311
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:23,770
it takes practice,

312
00:10:23,869 --> 00:10:25,299
you have to learn a new language,

313
00:10:25,469 --> 00:10:26,580
you have to be adherent.

314
00:10:27,289 --> 00:10:28,929
You have to put in your time.

315
00:10:29,989 --> 00:10:33,619
You have to make sure that you've rehearsed muscle memory so

316
00:10:33,890 --> 00:10:36,760
your brain and your tongue sync up appropriately in real time.

317
00:10:38,409 --> 00:10:40,200
But this is not complicated,

318
00:10:40,369 --> 00:10:41,840
this is not difficult,

319
00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:43,840
and we make things far too hard.

320
00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:46,580
We're always like,

321
00:10:46,799 --> 00:10:47,200
oh my gosh,

322
00:10:47,239 --> 00:10:48,109
what am I supposed to say?

323
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:48,479
Oh wait,

324
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:49,520
how am I supposed to handle that?

325
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,530
What am I supposed to do?

326
00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:50,679
Oh,

327
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:50,960
OK,

328
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,030
I need to be doing this.

329
00:10:52,599 --> 00:10:52,919
Look y'all,

330
00:10:53,159 --> 00:10:54,349
there's 11 options.

331
00:10:55,299 --> 00:10:55,760
Maybe

332
00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:56,679
theoretically.

333
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,039
According to my calculations,

334
00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:00,590
there are 11,

335
00:11:00,849 --> 00:11:01,289
maybe 12,

336
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:01,659
I don't know,

337
00:11:01,809 --> 00:11:03,809
we'll settle on a number once I hear from y'all,

338
00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:04,320
but

339
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,229
We're looking

340
00:11:06,479 --> 00:11:08,469
at a finite set of options.

341
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:09,880
So here's the beauty of it.

342
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,419
You need to do the work

343
00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:14,960
so that you are fully versed,

344
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,200
fully competent,

345
00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:17,479
and fully capable

346
00:11:17,770 --> 00:11:19,320
at 11 things.

347
00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:21,450
11.

348
00:11:21,619 --> 00:11:22,900
We're not talking about hundreds,

349
00:11:22,979 --> 00:11:24,690
we're not talking about thousands.

350
00:11:25,219 --> 00:11:26,750
We're talking about 11

351
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:27,450
things.

352
00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:31,669
You master 11 responses.

353
00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:33,429
And

354
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,349
you are fully adherent to the model.

355
00:11:36,219 --> 00:11:38,570
And you are meeting the child where they are and you

356
00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:41,280
are letting the child lead and you are trusting the process

357
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,400
and the child will self-actualize,

358
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:47,000
and you're establishing a relationship and preserving it along the way.

359
00:11:47,609 --> 00:11:50,000
11 things to master.

360
00:11:50,570 --> 00:11:52,250
Why are we constantly stressed?

361
00:11:52,369 --> 00:11:53,659
Why are we constantly

362
00:11:53,929 --> 00:11:55,760
so worried and overwhelmed by,

363
00:11:55,929 --> 00:11:56,169
gosh,

364
00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:58,809
this model and CCPT and I have so much to learn and

365
00:11:58,809 --> 00:12:01,479
I'm so green and I'm so new and I'm so inexperienced.

366
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,679
Can you master 11 things?

367
00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:05,630
The answer is yes.

368
00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:08,119
Unequivocally yes you can.

369
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:10,960
So,

370
00:12:11,349 --> 00:12:12,979
here's a litmus test for you.

371
00:12:14,219 --> 00:12:15,090
If you

372
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,530
are responding in any way

373
00:12:17,859 --> 00:12:20,219
other than those 11 things that we've talked about.

374
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:24,710
You have to question whether or not you're deviating from the model.

375
00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:28,260
And you have to determine what is driving

376
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:29,650
what you're saying instead.

377
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:31,820
So,

378
00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:33,539
are you asking questions?

379
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,010
That's not one of the 11 options.

380
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,900
Are you making assumptions?

381
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:40,900
Not one of them.

382
00:12:41,150 --> 00:12:42,859
Are you teaching the child something?

383
00:12:43,849 --> 00:12:45,039
Not one of them.

384
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:46,400
Are you leading

385
00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:47,890
the session in some way?

386
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,049
Not an option.

387
00:12:50,349 --> 00:12:51,340
Are you

388
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:52,619
communicating

389
00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:54,030
expectations?

390
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,479
Not one of the options.

391
00:12:56,770 --> 00:13:00,270
And so if you are doing something other than these 11 things

392
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,469
at any given moment,

393
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:05,640
so not only can you assess retroactively and reflectively,

394
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:05,840
like,

395
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:06,000
oh,

396
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:06,280
OK,

397
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:07,630
in my session today,

398
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:10,239
did I do something other than those 11 things,

399
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,590
but even in the moment.

400
00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:14,609
If you are in session

401
00:13:14,859 --> 00:13:16,929
and you find yourself saying something and you go,

402
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:17,169
oh,

403
00:13:17,219 --> 00:13:18,780
that's not one of the 11 options.

404
00:13:19,869 --> 00:13:21,299
You're not adherent to the model.

405
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:22,299
So what is,

406
00:13:22,419 --> 00:13:23,809
what is at the heart of that for you?

407
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,059
Is it a need for control?

408
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:28,270
Is it a need to

409
00:13:28,469 --> 00:13:29,359
redirect?

410
00:13:29,739 --> 00:13:31,500
Is it a need to meet an agenda?

411
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,260
Is it because of pressure,

412
00:13:33,549 --> 00:13:34,890
internal or external?

413
00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:37,340
Is it what's going on for you?

414
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,510
This will help you settle in

415
00:13:40,799 --> 00:13:42,190
to the framework

416
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,510
and the structure.

417
00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:46,820
We have limited options,

418
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:48,140
11 of them,

419
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,359
I think.

420
00:13:49,909 --> 00:13:50,340
So

421
00:13:50,909 --> 00:13:53,030
this should not be something that is overwhelming.

422
00:13:53,109 --> 00:13:55,150
This should not be something that is keeping you up at night.

423
00:13:55,190 --> 00:13:58,419
This is not something that should be stressing you out.

424
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:02,159
This should be so freeing and so encouraging

425
00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:03,969
and so

426
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:05,419
amazing,

427
00:14:05,789 --> 00:14:06,580
quite frankly,

428
00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:07,580
to go,

429
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:08,659
oh my gosh.

430
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,919
I have to learn the language of 11 things,

431
00:14:12,349 --> 00:14:15,320
and if I just do one of those 11 things,

432
00:14:15,969 --> 00:14:17,489
I know that I'm on the right track,

433
00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:20,840
and I know this kid's going to become a better version of themselves.

434
00:14:21,369 --> 00:14:22,409
That's exciting.

435
00:14:24,219 --> 00:14:25,799
So pressure's off y'all.

436
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,169
And

437
00:14:28,419 --> 00:14:31,099
make sure that you have these 11

438
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:32,570
at your disposal,

439
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,280
muscle memorized,

440
00:14:34,859 --> 00:14:36,890
where you don't even have to hardly think about it.

441
00:14:38,679 --> 00:14:39,190
Is it,

442
00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:40,309
does it going to take time?

443
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:40,820
Sure.

444
00:14:41,349 --> 00:14:43,539
Do you have to work at it and practice and,

445
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:45,630
and rehearse and go over this and yeah,

446
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,299
you have to learn a new language,

447
00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:48,440
we say this all the time.

448
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,309
Yet at the end of the day.

449
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,960
Our structure and our framework

450
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:55,940
gives us

451
00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:57,820
a real small set.

452
00:14:58,969 --> 00:15:00,059
And we just

453
00:15:00,469 --> 00:15:02,440
use them as their appropriate.

454
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,580
If we provide a choice,

455
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:05,630
if we set a limit,

456
00:15:05,799 --> 00:15:06,640
if we encourage,

457
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,750
if we esteem build,

458
00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:08,989
if we wonder,

459
00:15:09,119 --> 00:15:10,150
if we enlarge,

460
00:15:10,359 --> 00:15:12,429
if we provide narrative commentary,

461
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:13,619
reflect feelings,

462
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:14,280
reflect content,

463
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,159
track behavior.

464
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:19,780
You know that you're doing what the model calls you to do.

465
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:21,969
So I hope that

466
00:15:22,179 --> 00:15:22,609
that

467
00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:24,619
makes you feel like you can do this.

468
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:27,690
If you've already been relatively adherent,

469
00:15:28,179 --> 00:15:29,840
catch yourself maybe

470
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:32,609
not following those 11 things.

471
00:15:32,859 --> 00:15:34,450
What are you doing in addition to that,

472
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,739
get to the root of why and then you can work on it.

473
00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:39,150
But at the end of the day,

474
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,289
when we think about the Art of the Session,

475
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,159
and we,

476
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,239
we will look at all of these skills individually,

477
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:44,630
but

478
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,710
when we think about this broad picture,

479
00:15:47,349 --> 00:15:47,869
we

480
00:15:48,159 --> 00:15:49,679
are all about relationship.

481
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,880
That is the most important component.

482
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:56,929
The be-with attitudes are unspoken

483
00:15:57,179 --> 00:15:59,250
but experienced for the child.

484
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:01,750
And then

485
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:03,940
we pull from a very small list.

486
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:06,869
Be encouraged,

487
00:16:07,039 --> 00:16:07,950
be excited,

488
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,270
be amazed by play therapy

489
00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:11,909
and the child-centered model.

490
00:16:12,369 --> 00:16:15,210
It is truly the most incredible gift.

491
00:16:16,119 --> 00:16:18,520
That we could be given and we get to do it every day.

492
00:16:19,669 --> 00:16:22,059
That is something that is worth celebrating

493
00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:25,460
and certainly something that should inspire us

494
00:16:25,669 --> 00:16:26,179
to say,

495
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:26,409
yeah,

496
00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:27,419
I can do this,

497
00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:29,219
and I'm going to make sure

498
00:16:29,549 --> 00:16:32,580
that I'm fully following the model because I believe in it that much.

499
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,390
Love you all so much.

500
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,119
We'll talk soon.

501
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:35,520
Bye.

502
00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:39,369
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

503
00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:40,450
Brenna Hicks.

504
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:42,570
For more episodes and resources,

505
00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:47,450
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.