Energy Management with Molly Fletcher.

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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and twenty one, which is airing in late November of twenty nineteen. We're excited to welcome Molly Fletcher to the podcast today. She was a sports agent for many years is now doing a lot of keynotes, speaking and writing. It has a book coming out in January called The Energy Clock, so we're looking forward to talking with her about that. But first, Sarah, what are things that you find energizing and things you find draining? Because Molly's going to talk about how you need to maximize the things that give us energy and get rid of the drains. Well, you have the advantage of having read her books, so I'm sure I'm going to get all this wrong. Is there a right or wrong? I don't know. I mean, certainly I find workouts energizing, and I am an extrovert, so I see friends and social events as fairly energizing. And I am always energized by a new week, month, year, et cetera, anything new. I also really like having my day's goals really clearly laid out and selected with the right degree of challenge. Too much is overwhelming and too little is just not energizing enough. And then I also mentioned coffee because I mean, honestly, in the afternoon, that's what it takes. It seems to be what I need for energy. What about you, well, same thing. I mean, workouts definitely add to my energy levels. I like early morning reading sessions. Those kind of pump me up for the day. I do like early morning works sessions too, if I'm up early for some reason, which lately it's been because I'm getting kicked in the ribcage at four or five am, so I just get up do my work for a while. I love it, but it's quiet and I feel like I can crank through all kinds of stuff, even though I'm not really a traditional mourning person, but yeah, getting outside getting fresh air. I for last winter, I set a goal to get outside for twenty minutes every day, which I know, living in Florida doesn't sound that crazy, but when you're up where it's sleeting and zero degrees, that takes a little bit more gumption. But I just bought a lot of good winter weather clothes, and I found that getting some sunlight, getting some fresh air every day helped me feel so much less lethargic through all of winter. So I am a big fan of that idea. Now, as for energy drains, what makes you feel sluggish? I would probably say getting too hungry is a big for me. So it's not great for me to plan something really complicated for that hour or so before lunch, and certainly working too many days in a row will do it. So if I have a week of call like and then I'm on for the weekend and I'm on for the next week. Ugh, If I can do anything to break up that twelve day stretch, I am better off, because not having a day to rest and not be so scheduled is really kind of draining. Yeah, no, I could see that well, for me, I'm more of an introverted person, and so when I have been on all day, that can be really draining. And I'm glad I know that about myself now that if I have meetings and phone calls stacked up, or if I'm at a conference and I'm just go, go, go talking to people all day, I need to go hide somewhere for fifteen twenty minutes and not talk to anyone. And you know, that's just what energizes me. And obviously somebody who's more extra extrovert would find that like so exciting, but no, so when you know these things about yourself, you can add to your energy levels, which is great. So we're excited to hear from Molli about how we can all manage our energy better. So Sarah and I are delighted to welcome Molly Fletcher to the program. So, Mollie, quick, tell us your career story. I mean, how did you wind up being in the sports agency business. A lot of kids grow up wanting to be athletes, but maybe not that part of it, So tell us about that. Yeah, for sure, So thanks for having me on. Certainly admire the work that you do. So I was a student athlete at Michigan State. I played tennis, and I wanted to stay after I graduated in the business of sports. But I was twenty one, right or twenty two. I don't think I quite knew what that actually meant. And so I looked at my mom and dad. After growing up in East Lansing, Michigan, played tennis at the State and you know, two miles away from each other, right, I was such a big girl. I went so far away, I said, Mom and Dad, I think I want to move to Atlanta to find a job in sports. And long story short, saved money, got down to Atlanta, negotiated a deal to teach tennis in exchange for my rent, which was pretty awesome, of course, because that took away a pretty big monthly nut for me, gave me a little bit of time to find the right job. I networked my head off and sort of always had this philosophy that you know, when you asked for a job, you get advice, and when you ask for advice, you get a job, and was able to land in a small agency in Atlanta. We had about I don't know, three or four NBA coaches and one baseball player and I was brought in to go find endorsement deals for the athletes and for the athlete and the coach that we had. And after about a month or two, I thought, gosh, how are we going to grow? I had spent much of my early time at the agency driving Lenny Wilkins around during the Dream Teams basketball when the Olympics run Atlanta. So I put a business plan together on how I thought we could focus and grow baseball first, and fortunately the CEO the agency blessed it and I was kind of off and running, and you know, I would I would lean on the fence down at Georgia Tech. Probably like most people, you don't go after the you know, elephant first in business. So I was going after the top round draft guys out of college and signed a couple guys that year, and a couple more than next year, and a couple more the next year. And then I would go see them in the minor league parks and they'd bring their buddies to dinner, and you know, I sort of have this belief, you know, at some level in business, how do you act like you have a business before you have a business. So I would try to add value to the athletes that I didn't work with but I wanted to and hopes that I could get them to switch over. And so eighteen years later I had about three hundred athletes and coaches in about six different spaces NBA coaches, college coaches, baseball players, PGA, LPGA broadcasters, And it was an amazing journey. So that's the quickest version of that story I can deliver. And so for our listeners who are maybe less in tune to the sports world, I mean what the agent does is gets these deals where they're endorsing products for instance, and looking after their contracts in general. Right is that large under right? So athletes generally off the field and on the field or court or course make money in three primary ways, right, endorsement deals, which are the logos on the body, the commercials that we all see, name and likeness type things. Of course, managing their money. There's a lot of financial advisors that live in this space. And then negotiating their primary contracts with the team networker school, and that's where a lot of opportunity is and that's where I spent most of my time is negotiating those those contracts. Yeah, and a lot of contracts for our listeners, I think I think it was something over like five hundred million dollars in contracts. Is that what I read? Absolutely? Yeah, and a lot of different in a lot of different verticals, right, whether it was golf or baseball, And you know, I absolutely loved every minute minute of it. And for the people listening, you know, I found that, like many of us, right, we don't start out negotiating ten, twenty fifteen hundred million dollar deals. It was practicing on the smaller ones, getting confidence, understanding a process that worked so that that then you can lift up and apply to the bigger deals. Yeah, and I wonder if you could talk a little bit about that process. I mean, what do most people get wrong when they go into negotiations. Well, I think probably one of the biggest things, I mean there's a couple, but one of the biggest things is is not spending enough time in the head and the heart of the person you're negotiating with. I think it's super important to spend time and energy thinking about what are they worried about, what's in their world, what's happening. So, if I was getting ready to negotiate a baseball player's contract, with an organization. I wanted to understand from the team's perspective, where is their payroll? You know, how many free agents do they have? Who do they have in the minor league system? And I think for all of us and whatever it is that we're doing, when we can put time and energy around their world and what are they worried about? I think the mistake people make is they spend so much time and energy worried about what they want. What's the deal that I'm going to be happy with? What are the numbers, what's the sort of details around it? And I think that's important and we we teach this at our negotiation training, helping people understand how you show up at the negotiation table and how the people you negotiate with show up. Are they financially focused, are they more strategic? Are they worried about the logistics? So that's one I think, you know, another one might be not taking time to be intentional about building the relationships on the front end. You know, to me, negotiations just a conversation at the end of the day, right, That's what it is. It's a difficult conversation, but it's a conversation. And so the more we can drive connection, I think, the better the result and the more the conversation keeps going, which in turn drives you know, potentially and then an end result that we want. But inside of that journey, having the courage to pause, having the courage to be intentional about building connection, adding value to the people that we negotiate with, is which is counterintuitive. You know. We live in this technology world where so much is happening online and text and email. But I always joke and say, if you want a deal to not get done, yeah exactly, Yeah, I mean you got to be there in person doing it. And I think what's really cool about this. I mean, obviously you're you know, people can guess you're probably one of the few women in this field, you know, intense sports negotiation. But you're also raising three daughters at the same time, right, So when were they sort of born in this process? Yeah? Such an awesome question. Of course, that's my primary role ride as wife and mother, as I know, is yours too, you know. So we had one incredible gift, our daughter Emma, and then actually twelve months later, I delivered twins. So Molly does nothing halfway, by the way, right, I do every big fast. So we had three kids in twelve months, and so they were you know, kind of a little bit, probably sixty percent of the way through my journey as an agent, and you know, they were sort of young enough to not really know sometimes maybe when I needed to jump on a call here and there later, et cetera. But they were getting older as I started to realize where I've got to get clear on this, because I was jumping out of bed from reading a Good Night's Story to my daughter to grabbing the phone from a baseball player on his way to the park who went three for four with a home run and wanted to talk about it and wanted some energy. Yeah, well that's all from sort of honey, you know, and the bunny jumped over the two. Hey man, what's up three before old? We're gonna make the money off that one. Well, certainly, managing energy is something a lot of our listeners are dealing with as they are, you know, negotiating the space between building their careers, raising their families. And so you've got this new book coming out in January called The Energy Clock. I mean, what led you to write this? You know, that's such an awesome question. Laura. I mean, you know, after living for almost twenty years in such a fast paced environment where people were just reacting, you know, you're going and reacting often, and it was really a question I began to ask myself. I mean, I worked twenty four hours a day. Almost my phone rang, I slept with it. I'd buy pajamas with pockets in it. And as my daughter started getting older and I was working twenty four to seven, I started to I wrote a couple of books. At that point, I started speaking and I started asking myself a question, which is what are you chasing? Right? Like, what are you really chasing? Is it a billion dollars in deals? Is it five hundred athletes? Is it? And what am I going to risk losing along the way? And so and then I started, you know, connecting with some of my friends and folks in business that I know, and I would connect with people who were, you know, maybe their health wasn't wasn't good and they were traveling too much, and I'd spend time with them. And everybody that I was sort of connecting with was like, man, I'm exhausted. I'm just I'm just I've got too much going on. I'm so busy. It was like, and I think we still do this at some level. We're busy as a badge of honor. And so I started asking people that question, right, like what are you chasing? Right like an executive at a huge public company or you know, what are you chasing? And they look at me like what do you mean? And I'm like, what are you chasing? And they're like, I don't understand your question. And I said, well, why are you exhausted and traveling and doing all of this? And I wasn't getting kind of a really clear answer, and I was finding that people weren't clear. And it candidly broke my heart because what I have seen over the years is people with a whole lot of money and a whole lot of resources, and they're getting on and off private planes or whatever it might be in their life, and they're miserable. And it breaks my heart. And so I thought, how can we try to fix this? And so I pulled back and sort of said, how can we make sure that we're aligning our energy with our value system? How are we aligning what matters most to us in our lives with where we're putting our time and energy and assuring it lines off with what matters most. Yeah, so the book is a process to help people do that great. Well, we're going to take a short break to hear from our sponsors, and when we come back, we're going to get Molly's tips for doing more with our energy. We're pleased to welcome Honeybook back to our podcast. Honeybook is an online business management tool that organizes your client communications, bookings, contracts, and invoices all in one place. 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So if you want to seize the day, sleep the night with the help of Calm right now, best of listeners get twenty five percent off at Calm Premium's prescription at Calm dot com slash best of that's c a l m dot com slash best of Forty million people have downloaded Calm. Find out why at Calm dot com slash best of All. Right, so we are back with Mollie Fletcher, who is sports agent extraordinary turned wonderful keynote speaker and author. I met Molly at a conference in Atlanta where we were both speaking, so that was a really cool one. So her book coming out in January is called The Energy Clock, and one of the things you recommend in there is doing an energy audit. So what is this and how do we do an energy audit? That such an awesome quite you know. So basically, an energy audit is sort of trying to get clear. It is trying to get clear on the things that energize us, the things that lift us up, the things that give us energy, and then writing those down personally and professionally what are those things, and then getting clear on the things that are sort of neutral in our life right that don't necessarily drain our energy, don't necessarily get us excited, and don't necessarily lift us up. But they're things that we need to do right. We need to take a shower, we need to brush our teeth right, so neutral things, and then what are the things that just exhaust us? What are the things personally and professionally that totally drain us? And so the first step is getting really clear on what those things are, and then we walk people through a system of how to institutionalize this in their daily lives as it relates to their calendar and the way they're intentional about starting and ending the days. Yeah, and so there are green light, orange light, and red light items, so our listeners can probably guess what each of those refer to. I'm curious, Mally, what are your green light items? And then maybe we can hear your red light item. Sorry to you, that's great. So you know, my green light items would be working out. I'd love to work out, you know, at the end of the day, sitting down with my husband and our girls who are now fifteen, fifteen and sixteen. You know, we did this last night, and you know, I had a glass of wine. My husband and I and our girls are you know, just telling stories about the day and we're all just in the room to gather, the five of us sharing. I mean, that is absolutely an energy lifter for me. You know, things that drain my energy, you know, I would say, our whiny children. Do you feel like, yes, you know, whiny kids, ungrateful moments when maybe not as grateful as I think maybe they could be. Those are the kinds of things that candidly sort of get me, you know, going in and then you know, flight delays. All those kinds of things I mean that we all deal with. But I think what's important is to recognize those moments and then being trying to be intentional about the story we tell ourselves in reef frame those moments as to how can I, in this moment when I'm late, when I'm frustrated at a gate agent at a delta counter, show up as the best version of myself. You know, maybe I can in this moment where I'm dipping toward a red zone, how can I be intentional about shifting toward a green as quickly as possible so that I can, you know, be a positive light in this woman's life. Or the Yeah, and that's that's a pretty big mindset shift there. And you talk about trying to we can manage them or eliminate them, And I'm curious if you've seen some of the people you've talked to successfully eliminate any big drains and how that winds up working out a one hundred percent. I mean, I think you're absolutely right, Lore we want to try to eliminate them. And what we teach people how to do is color code their calendars so that they're clear on the things that give them energy, the things that are neutral and the things that are red. And how can we recognize what these things that are that are read and ask ourselves what's at risk to make a change, right, what's at risk to really make a change here around these things that are potentially sucking us dry and then being intentional about and we walk people through that process of how to make that change, how to get rid of those reds. I would argue that there are going to be reds that unexpectedly show up in our lives. It's about the way we handle them, and it's about shifting out of that red zone as fast as we can. Yeah, And so what are what are some ways we might do that you mentioned. We can we can try to be a better person in the moment where we're mad at the gate agent. You know, just you find yourself in this like, ugh, I feel it. I feel terrible. What should people do? Well? I mean, I think you want to go quickly to control the controllables, right, I mean, and my coaches talk about this all to all the time, and you know, it's how do you control what you can control? Recognizing that there are things inside of our world that we can't control, and when we give those uncontrollables a lot of our energy, it's exhausting. I spent an hour on the edge of my daughter's bed last night talking about a situation with some friends and and and a boy, and some of the things that were frustrating her were things that she couldn't control, and what was frustrating her was that she was trying to control them and she couldn't. And that's okay, And so we really talked through that. So it's about recognizing the controllables and the uncontrollables and being intentional about how can I influence the uncontrollables, but how can I make sure that I'm focusing my energy around the things that I can control. Well, I'm wrapping my head here around your whiney toddler example, because that's one that you can't really readily sort of just X out of your calendar, at least without you know, can't really skip a good portion of your child's life. But I see what you're saying in terms of figuring out what you can control about that situation and and you know, building in intentional breaks for example. So that yeah, so what, Yeah, why don't you talk about what should we do about whiney toddlers? Yeah? Trust me, I mean, you know, I think it's what's what's important is to say, what are the things that give you energy? And are you being intention about making those a part of your day, Because the truth is we have a little bit more bandwidth for the whiny kids when we've maybe gotten our yoga in or we've gotten our walk in, or we've gotten our morning routine in or whatever it is. So anytime I know I'm approaching a window of time that's going to be an energy drain for me, whether it's coming home at the end of the day and I know that I'm going to have winy kids to your point or you know whatever, when we can anticipate those moments and be intentional about making sure we fill our own cups up and they're overflowing. So when we walk into these moments and they drain our energy, we're still got a cup half full. We're not at e So it's anticipating it and making sure we take care of ourselves. I think one of the things that's so important is being intentional about taking care of ourselves. And I think that as women, as mothers, were often incredibly unselfish. But it's a mindset shift to say, you know what, if I don't recognize how I fill my energy up, then I'm not going to be able to give my best self to the people that matter the moment. So I think it's important to make sure we take care of ourselves so we can take care of the people the mattermost. And when you had three children who were within a year of each other and they were little ones, what practically did you do to make sure that you were still functioning? Yes? Absolutely, Well, you know, number one, I have an incredible husband and we're teammates, and that conversation and clarity around the way that we were approaching our lives together was a really big deal, you know. And then I did some really impractical things, right. I wrote checks to spend the night in my own bed and have somebody else, you know, run over and be a night nurse for just about a month or two, so that I could make sure that I was rested, because I knew if I wasn't rested, I wasn't going to be able to do what I do from a career perspective, and or even be there enough for what was our one year old at the time. So I think making sure tactically that you're anticipating these moments as much as you possibly can, putting some resources around you to help you if you can afford to do that, I think that's huge. And then ensuring that your husband or a partner or whatever it might be in life is truly a teammate. I think women in this world that we live in today who are working in and outside of the home, you know, I'm all for that, right cannily, But it's a different model for everybody. Right. I'm always hesitant, Laura when I answer that question, because the way Fred and I did it might be different for the way somebody else needs to do it. But it certainly worked for us. We made it now. We weren't always our best selves. You know, we had some days that were a total grind. I mean, you have three kids in diapers, and you know, my one year old was thinking she was about to get nursed, and the twins were nursing and they were jumping on. Yeah. I mean I was, you know, pumping on my way to the office in the office, on my way to see clients, freezing milk at spring training. I mean it was it was twenty four seven. But it's a window. It's a window, and you know that if you lean into it, it'll you'll come out the other side. Yeah, I'm very curious. Oh you know this quite well, by the way. Yeah, yeah, how did your your pro athletes? Uh did you ever have any funny issues with with the large volume of milk production going? Well? I mean I remember I tell the story sometimes when I was driving to the Masters to see one of our players and you know, and you know the feeling when you're nurishing and you need to you need to go. And I was about an hour out from Augusta National and I thought, man, I can't get to the parking lot of Augusta National with Tiger and Phil walking by in the I mean, I got to figure this out, right, So I literally pulled my badulla, pumped out and pumped in the car on my way to the Master. So I did stuff like that all the time. I traveled with a you know, with a cooler and all that kind of stuff. My guys were pretty understanding. You know. The truth is the ones who had children were obviously got it a little bit more, and the ones that didn't not quite so much. But I remember being in the hospital after i'd deliver at our twins and a couple of my baseball players came to the hospital just to see me, and you know, I mean, I just delivered twins. My mom was sitting there with me, and they'd come to the door and it'd be a big name guy and she'd just turn and look at them and say, no, you're not coming in, man, you get lead. I'm like, Mom, you can't. You can't tell that guy to lead. You got a lot. She's like, absolutely not. You need to rest. So she truthfully in regards the energy management stuff, has been a really big influence on helping me stay centered and intentional about aligning my energy with my value systems. And in the book, I tell a lot of stories about some kind of aha moments that my mom and dad were both a really big part of that helped me realign because I can promise you without them, I could have gotten off course. And that's what I hope this book does for people, is if you do or don't have people in your life like that, I hope it helps people get back on course because the truth, it's like a flight from LaGuardia to la It can be two degrees off and you can end up in Seattle. You know. Well, it definitely sounded like one of the things you got from them is this focus on people, right, that it's relationships that matter and much more than anything else. Yeah, I'll tell you when I was early in my career as an agent, I was sitting my parents had both you know, flown down from Michigan, and we're super excited to come and see me. And I was still single at the time, and we went to this really cool place for lunch and we sat down and they'd just come in and we get to the table and we sit down and literally my phone didn't stop bringing with players calling who'd been traded, released, you know, hired, fired, you know, clubs were lost on their way to with tournament. I mean, it was one thing after another, and I took every single call. I took every single call, and it was it was an experience where my parents could have had that exact same lunch in Michigan. And what I saw in them in that moment was we don't care. We don't care about all these people and what you're doing, How are you? What's going on with you? Take a minute and and pause and connect. So there was moments like that that they were a really big part of reshattering me. So I'm grateful for that wonderful Well, Molly, we always end our interviews with what we call our love of the week, which is just something that we find really cool in the world or something that we're you know, making use of now that we want to share. So Sarah and I can go first, so that you can hear what we have and go from there. So Sarah, what what what are you loving this week? Can I change mine? Because I've been like jurist. Then also a pre plan is how well, this is why I'm giving here, Molly. While we do tend to. We are we are planners. So there you go. Okay, final, I'll stick with my I'll just add my side note. That just made me think of that show Ballers on HBO, because I know you mentioned a movie about a sports agent that you can mention, but I really liked that show Ballers. I haven't watched it for a while. Anyway. My love of the week was ordering lunch out when I'm at work because the other day I needed to do some podcast prep and it could have taken me time to go to the cafeteria and get food, or I guess if I'd brought something, I could have heated it up. But that didn't happen, and I was like, no, I'm delivering lunch and in that time I save, I will be able to do all the prep for our upcoming podcast recordings. And I had a very productive hour and a nice lunch in my office. So I'm glad that's a thing you can do. Yeah, yeah, that is a cool thing you can do. Yeah. Well, I got a massage yesterday, so I think I will do that one which it's you know, just I had not done it in a while. And as a reminder that it's it's good. It's synergizing. I mean, it's relaxing, but it's also a way to add to my energy levels. So I enjoyed that for you. I love that you guys are are doing this. You know, probably my husband and I celebrated a nineteen wedding nineteen year wedding anniversary last Monday, and you know, with three teenage girls playing three different sports and moving around, and are both of us working and traveling and all that kind of stuff, it gets hard to take time to just run away for a day or two. We planned ahead and and and got somebody here to to that we love to be with our girls that night, and we took off for a night to go to a fun spot that we love. So that's something I want to be more intentional about doing moving forward, because I think when we you know, the last thing you want to do is your kids grow up and they leave the house and you look at each other and say, who in the world are you? I ask? So being there, yeah, being intentional about that time together without the kids, I think is a really big deal. So that was a that was super fun. We did that last week. That's awesome, all right, Molly. One last question just because I what did you think of the film? Jerry Maguire. Yeah, so it's a great question. You know. He I always joke and say he was really stressed out right. I mean the guy was, you know, grinding it, and he had one client and we had three hundred, so he could stay that Yeah, right, he could just get over himself. No, U, it was frighteningly very real at some level. But yeah, he had one, we had three hundred, so I don't feel that bad for him. Yeah, no, let's not feel that exactly. Well, Mollie, thank you so much for coming out. I really appreciate it. It's an absolute pleasure. Thanks for what you do. All right, that was an excellent interview. I feel much more educated now about how to energize myself. So we're going to move on to our question. One listener writes, I found your podcast about a year ago, and it has been a breath of fresh air in my friends circle. I am surrounded by stay at home mom so I don't get to talk to a lot of people that face the same challenges that I do on a daily basis. I enjoy working and fulfilling my ambitions. I work in corporate finance, so I struggle finding a way to answer the why do you always have to go to work question for my four year old. I don't save lives or help people in my day to day job. I also don't have to go to work to earn money. With some adjustments, we would be totally fine as a single income family. I love my kids dearly, but the thought of staying home with them every day while Hobby works give me anxiety. How do I explain that I want to work outside of the home without them feeling rejected? Let me start here. This question bothers me a little bit because we're talking about a four year old. So four year olds do not get to make life defining decisions for their parents based on their whims because they are four. And I think it's only the fact that this is a hot button topic for women, like those cultural narratives around mothers shouldn't work, that is leading her to assign any weight to a four year old's desires, Like if your four year old says I don't want to try the potty before I get in the car, you're not like, oh my gosh, I'm a terrible mother for making him try the potty. Like if he doesn't want to have a seat belt, you're like, get your seat belt on, kid, Like, this is what we do. Like if he doesn't want to eat his vegetables, you sit there and make him do it. Like there's so many things that four year olds do not want to do, Like they want to bite people, they want to throw things, like, let's just they don't like the fact that he would rather you sit there watching TV with him all day, like rather than him going to school or are you going to work? Like so what like this is not something that a four year old has any perspective on. So it's only because it's this topic that you're assigning any weight whatsoever to what your kid is saying. So that is my little soapboxed stand there is so funny. I mean, your your I see your point. And then yet that like angle didn't even really cross my mind. I was more like, well, how can we address this four year old? I might say something about my parenting style, who knows, But you're right. I mean the other day I got my hair done and Cameron was like, I hate your hair. You should never cut your hair ever again. And it's like I wasn't like, well, okay, I guess I never to do your hair. Yes, so there you go. So my thoughts were to emphasize the things to your four year old that and make, you know, have him understand that your happiness is allowed to matter. So I thought maybe saying something like I do love spending time with you, but I also really love getting to use my skills heet. You don't have to use the word, but these things are and I love spending time with you, and I also love getting to use my skills at work. I'm so lucky I get to do both. Because I'm sure she's spending some time with him, probably plenty. I also want to kind of poke some holes in that whole line about I don't have to work. I mean, you were in corporate finance like you are, probably not just bringing home, like you know, a spare twenty dollars bill, So this extra financial boost your family is getting from your career is not trivial. I mean, I guess if you're married to like Bill Gates, maybe it is, but like anybody else, it's not, and you never know what's going to happen. But also, like, how about things like being able to help fund their college or grad school or their other dreams, or family travel without strain, or you know, even just having a more secure retirement situation. Like I mean, I just don't think you can discount what you're bringing in financially. And then finally you can think about ways that you do help people. You I'm sure going to work and hopefully are a kind and polite the people you work with and the staff, and you help a company's see it. And I'm sure there's some good that your company puts out into the world, even if it's more for pr than anything else, but still, and you can find a way to explain those things. I think there's also as kids get older, you can have more serious discussions about this topic. We had a fun discussion with Jasper the other day because he's been watching the Office and he said to me, Mom, it's so sad. It seems like many of them don't like their jobs, and I'm like, yep. We talked about why people might keep going to jobs they don't like, but we also talked about, well, you know, you've never heard mommy and Daddy say like we don't like what we do, that we are so fortunate that we have found things that we love to do professionally, and then we also love spending time with you guys. And you know, particularly as he becomes aware of the dollar figures associated with things. I mean, there's something nice to be able to say, like, you know, mommy, why are you traveling for work? Why are you going to give a speech? Hey? Do you remember that Disney cruise? Do you know that I can pay for a Disney cruise by doing this, you know trip this week? Like you know, maybe maybe that's something that you're interested in us doing again in the future. And that has been you know, I can't say they ever love the idea that you're not immediately there for all their whims twenty four to seven, but sure, I mean, if we were all allowed to have somebody at our beck and call twenty four to seven, we might take it. So I think, you know, you are entitled as an adult to live your life as you wish, and you are, no doubt spending tons of time with your kids, and that's great. You have both best of both worlds. That's what we do here, all right, Well, this has been best of both worlds, as we just said, and we'll be back next week with more on making work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.