‘The Bachelorette’s’ Ben Talks Dating Tayshia, Getting Nude, and Therapy

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another week of happy Hour with none other than Me and Rachel, who are sipping on our black cherry course Seltzer's, which this is my first time trying the black cherry Rachel and I have to say, I'm a fan. This ship is good. Yeah, girl, What do I always say? The black of the berry, the sweet of the juice. That's what they say. That could be your tagline for Real Housewives? Oh my gosh, the black of the berry, the sweet of the juice. I'm you know what I keep Joe. Honestly, I keep playing around with this Housewives saying I'm really about to be on somebody's Housewives franchise. Well, I think you did it with Astrod on her Instagram comments, and you guys were coming up with different tagline captions. I'm like, I need one. We'll come up with yours. For sure. We're gonna. I think we should play with your Minnesota accent. But if you could pick any franchise to be a part of, which one would you want? Oh? Man, that's a good one. Okay. I don't think I could actually fit in, but I would. I just like there's something about New Jersey that gets me back to the beginning with the table flip and the nineteen engaged nineteen times. Yeah, I don't know, just that one holds such a soft spot in my heart. But of course, like I started watching at the beginning with with oc with with Vicky and her woo hoo's and like have a soup, But what about you? I first of all, I like that she said, Jersey. See, every franchise needs a voice of reason, and I feel like you would be the voice of reason. But then I feel like equet to the point where they would push your buttons and then you would just lose it and you wouldn't have a Teresa Judas moment you would the table is she Teresa Gorga? She go back to her maiden name. I don't know. That's she's got to stick with Judas. That's how we first met her, and that's that's how we're always going to remember her. For me, this is really tough and obviously I've thought about this a number. Obvious I know you have Rachel. I'm going to have to say New York or Potomac. See, I haven't started Potomac yet. I'm jealous. I'm actually jealous. I am I don't know if you've ever spent time on Coronado down for those of you listening who don't know, it takes like fabulous island off of San Diego, and because my cousins lived down there, and I'm surprised that there's not yet a Real Housewives of Coronado because like the amount of wealth and just like I don't like drama that goes down with the Navy Wives. It's unhar like every time I go down there, I'm like, this, this could be a TV show. So if anyone's listening, you want to pitch it, Somebody call Andy Cohen, tag him, Somebody call him right now. Oh my gosh, because I don't know if you started to watch Real Health and Guys, I know this is a Bachelor podcast, but let's be honest. We know there's Bravo Bachelor cross over here. Okay, we know there is. It's it's it's a different it's a different flavor, but it's but there's there's some criss cross there. Well we've never seen is somebody from Bachelor go on Housewives. I'm just sam, if you're not watching Salt Lake City, you were truly doing yourself a disservice. It is amazing. Normally it takes time to build up into being a quintessential housewives, having all the characteristics that are necessary to be pure entertainment. These women came in like guns ablazing. Yeah already. It's like they've they've been studying for years and this is their moment and they were ready and so were we. Wait, Rachel, if you could pick somebody from the Bachelor franchise to be on a Real Housewives, who would it be? And why am I only working with leads here? No, it could be anyone, but I also give me the lead to That is a okay, that is something I never thought about. All right. If I was going to pick a real housewife, I think I would go with Emily Maynor m for as the leads. She's she's classy, she's a Southern bell. She's got five kids now at this point, um, so there's gonna be a lot to play around with that. And she's got the Bachelor crossover. And Emily will read you Okay, she's sweet, but she will also put you in your place in two seconds and tell you about yourself. Emily would be some good TV. She would. Yes, I can't pick any of any of the other people. You know what, though, I feel like Jillian Harris could actually be great too. Just such a firecracker. She's such a badass. She like rules the world, I swear, and I just find her so entertaining and I love talking with her. So she's another one who would make for good TV. So oh good. I feel like we could talk about Real housewives all day, but of course I have another show we have to get into, and that's what we're all about here in Bachelor A happy hour, so we saw a lot go down. I felt like it was one of the more intense episodes, just like with Men opening up this week. So overall, what were your thoughts on this week? Okay? Is it just me? I felt I didn't get the same energy from Tatia in this episode that I have in the other episodes. I don't know if she was tired or what. She just didn't seem all the way there. I think part of Tatia's charm is that she's very bubbly and she's very energized, and I didn't get that from her. She was real chill to me. I don't know if that was just me, So I was distracted by that with her. I know, honestly, I would have to agree. And I don't want people to take this as us bashing her, because we're not whatsoever. But I think it was. And I kind of started to notice it last week too, a little bit when I when we talked about her conversation with Ivan, But it played into I think her conversations, especially in her one on one with Sach this week too, Like we see her very in her head, you know, a little bit more mellowed out and not as like bubbly and as exuberant. But I noticed in many of the conversations between her and the men, it was them kind of leading the conversation and being the one to open up and ask the questions and her. I guess maybe it's just like, maybe it's just because I'm such a curious person and I could ask a thousand questions to anybody, and I'm so curious about people's pasts. But I felt like we were missing that from her, especially in the conversation with Za first one. I wanted the girl me too, Okay, I was like, is anybody else gathering this? And what was what was the big question that she didn't ask that you were like, um about the marriage, thank you? Yeah? Did I want to know the moment you tell me that you were married before, I don't want to know everything. Why? Why? I mean? And he eventually got there and maybe they wanted to say that for the ninth time. But immediately when I find out you were married before and you were no longer married and we have that in common, immediately I want to know why you were divorced, what happened? Why did it fall apart a year? And yeah, hey, you know, like for somebody who's been in that position, dealing with somebody who's been married for a very very short amount of time, you've got to ask certain questions about that, about the past and the past relationships. But I felt like just getting I just I guess, let's just get into this date with Zach because we see a completely different side to him. He opens up so much and he really really grew on me. I really liked Zac after this one on one date. He's probably one of the contestants that has the most depth maturity, life experience that he's lived through and this and maybe it's just because I have a soft spot in my heart for you know, people who have gone through like a brain tumor, because I've had several people in my life that have it. But I just if I was sitting there with him, I would have had so many questions, and I felt like she just kind of sat back and was just like, oh, yeah, that's hard, that's heavy, that's a lot, which is I'm sure very reassuring to him. But I was like, I want more. You want to loan Becca? I wanted more as well. That to me is one of those people who checks all the boxes and looks great on paper, but he doesn't have that O, that X factor, that whatever it is that makes that Vagiana dance, you know what I mean, Like, whatever it is that just makes you go oh, like if the first sum of advice you gave me before becoming bachelor, I will say, like that thing, dann a little souls, a little single down there sounds disgusting. Well you know it Scott rhythm, It Scott rhythm, spicy. You know That's That's how That's how I take it. Like usually when people are like I have butterflies, is this is this means the same thing? Um I That's what I'm gathering. He he's such a good guy. He's a really good guy. So I'm not saying this to take anything away from him, but there just seems to be no spark. And I was listening to Tasia when I was watching this, this interaction between Tasia and Zach. She was saying all the right things. Oh he gives me butterflies. Oh he's a great person. Oh he opened up. Oh there's something about Zach he surprised me. But there was no feeling. There was no po passion behind what she was saying. I felt nothing. That's not how she was when she was on the date with Brendan, you know what I mean. Yeah, that's not how she was even when she was with Ben when he came to her place late that night. I there is something missing. I'm not seeing the connection. The passion isn't there as much as the guy. Gotta have passion, you gotta have flavor, you gotta it's the X factor, you know what I mean. Like we've all dated that one person who your parents want you to settle down with, who is like, you know, a Barack Obama, you know, like just whoever. You know, it's like the quintessential guy for you, and but for you, there's just something that's missing for you to take it to the next level. That's how I feel about Zach, and that's why I keep a home. Like two things to go off of what you're saying is one, I don't think Zach like went on the show for the show. I think not at all. You know, he he's not TV, which I find in endearing. I personally just like that that fact himself, Like he if anyone is there for quote unquote the right reasons, it's going to be Zach. But yeah, there's something lacking, and I just have to chalk it up to you know, and I've said this many many times, it's there's so much that you can't see in a TV show. There's probably a lot more of the conversation that was had that just can't make it into this, you know, thirty minute date that we're watching go down. So I hope and pray that for both of their sakes, Like there is that passion that we're that we're missing. Maybe it's just because they really wanted to play up his story and his life experience. Um, but yeah, it's it's like, you know, when we saw her with Brendan, she could not stop staring at those lips like and vice versa. He could not stop staring at her lips and there it was just there, like you could feel the electricity. And with Zach it was much more calm and chill and maybe just given the kind of context that they were, you know, in this conversation about I feel like if Zach makes it far, she's bringing him because she feels like this is who she should be with, not necessarily who she wants to be with. That's that's the feeling that I'm getting. It was. I'm glad you've noticed it too, And it wasn't just me yet, that's out of the entire episode other than my dear Bennett. That really stood out to me because I was like, am I the only one who sing this? And the crazy thing is Van said to me that he felt like Tasia wasn't into these men, and I was like, yes, she is. And then I watched this episode and I was like, gosh, darn it, he's right. Yeah, yeah, I mean there's definitely a handful of men that she is, well not I shouldn't say handful, a couple that she's very into, and then and then some more, you know, as we'll get into as we see with easy work. Great segue, we just pour one out for easy before we have to get into easy. But can we just go back to the very beginning of the state with the wedding photographer and wedding planner. He so much of the wedding planner and father of the bride um. Everybody, everybody loves a pooper. That guy. That's why we invited you. You know that he sings that oh is it is this the wedding planner where he's like, oh, sorry, I'm thinking of father father. Yeah, he's like everybody hates the pooper, that's what that guy. Yeah, he's like, oh the cock, the cock meaning cake. But yeah, like, oh my god, I was dying laughing at him. I'm like, I want this man. I'm so glad you highlighted that that if we were giving awards away, this guy would get the he was the star. He would be my rows of the week. You want. You were looking for passion on that day that man's camera, Yeah, it was him. It was him. I don't remember his name, but it was him, and he stole the show. And uh, yeah, you know, sir, if you're out there one day, if and when I never get my I'm hiring you buddy. That was a god awful date. I would have hated I have hated that. I mean I would have felt uncomfortable. And I had never even been married before, you know, and when I was on the baschorette. That is what I'm saying. It just was. It was a weird day. Poor Zach was trying to make it comfortable. Even there the pictures that the still frames of the pictures, they couldn't get one good one of Zach good greet. I mean he was all he was like half halfway in a face. It was blurry. I thought, can we get to the night tap portion? This is not God all day? Okay, well let's move let's move on down the list, because you know, we could talk about this state for a while and how awkward it is. But next, I mean, well, before we get into easy, which we obviously have to talk about, we have the group date, which is the art creativity date with God. It felt like there were so many men on this date where one of them. Yeah, and I feel like there's always a massive group date in the middle of it. But m Rachel, what were your thoughts on this date? Because well, I would have hated this one too. Um. I have two thoughts. One, I want to know who you thought had the best, um, who opened up the best? And then two, my man Bennett. The way he pumped Noah out of that seat, I stood up and I'm just like my man Bennett. Bennett is good TV. This is what Bennett is a housewife. Okay, if you want to gets the award, it's Bennett. He brings everything that I need to add, bring life into the show. Just when you think the episode isn't that great, give us Bennett. Bennett always performs. Those are my thoughts about to say, but I do, I do want to talk about it for on a more serious note. It was a day, a great day for for the man to open up and for us to learn more about them. It's firtatiou. It's not it's not about us, It's about Tatia. But it was great flirtatition. It gets to know them. Who were you most impressed with? Not the sketching because that was and the sculpting because that was shit. Yeah No, I mean like the speech, yeah, the self expression portion, like the last challenge I guess you would call it obviously was the most important one. That's why they were there. Um. I would say Riley stuck out to me the most, just with the story and the way he approached and explained it. I found very powerful. Um, but like for a more cute see one, I also thought Brandon Brendan Brendan not Brandon Brendan is gone. Brendan's was just like, you know, cute and clever. But um, yeah, I think Riley's I enjoyed the most. I enjoyed. I liked Riley's. I thought Brendan's was basic. Um, it was cute until I saw the others. Yeah, I was like, and that was cute that. I was like, I wonder if they showed it in order, if they like picked apart, I don't know. Yeah, I would not have known what to do for that. You know, when you're in the zone, when you're on the show, it's totally different, like you're just in a zone. You would have come up with something because you're just in that mindset. Um. I was impressed with Riley for sure, and definitely Ivan m I thought, I thought what he what he said was really was really great. Riley and Ivan probably had the most heartfelt, like in depth responses and creativity shown in that one. I was really sensitive. Yeah, I thought I thought that that was great. Interesting you didn't say, Ben, we can talk, we can talk. I'm all for, like, you know, seeing more of the men. But uh, when Ben came out, oh oh my god, all I kept thinking about, We're like he's standing there obviously like trying trying to pour his heart out to Tasia, but I'm just thinking of like the guys in the back then just had to stare at his ass the entire time, because you see them learn out in the back and they're just like, okay, let's wrap up, buddy. I wished he would have just stripped down while he was talking. I wish he wouldn't have left and came back with the rope. I wish he would have been like, you know, it's all about pulling, pulling back layers and takes off his shirt and he's like, I want you to focus on I want to open up to you in a way I never had before, and he's like taking off his pants. I think that would have been like I would have been like, yes, it would have been great. But here's spoiler alert, you guys, we got been on the podcast today, So we will put a pin in it there because we can ask him way more details about that when he comes on the podcast. Um, so let's let's move it on. I really don't have much to say about this next one on one because I freaking knew it. When Easy got the one on one, you knew he was going home. I knew he wouldn't be with us much longer. Y'all didn't have to do Easy like that. He didn't have to go out that way. He could have gotten the respect of a roast ceremony. I think for some of our favorites that leave, for those who leave in unexpected ways, we should start having either reading an obituary or having a memorial memorial service for them when they go. So an honor of Easy, who has graced the podcast, who has been a light, a narrator, he has been the comic relief in this episode, I say we take, we hold up our core's hard seltzers, We take it, and we pour one out. Now. I don't want to make a mess in my house, as I'm sure we don't want to either, So we're going to take a sit back. This one's for you, Easy, Be well, Be safe, and we hope you find love with someone else or maybe in paradise. Maybe I'm a nice beach in Mexico. Yeah, I knew he was going home, like you could just tell my tatious body ling. And but I will say that date, I was so jealous of that date. I want to do a ghost hunting, spooky date like that, but like with somebody that I'm super into that I can like hold me tight, you know. Like that's what sucks is like that kind of date. You want somebody that you really want to be all touchy feely over. And you know, we just didn't see it with him. He was the homie. He was the homie. He was a friend, not a lover. Um. I have a feeling easy gets friend zone a lot because he's just like so so cool and fun. Yeah you know, um, all right, well see ye see it easy, you know. And that's not the only scary thing that happened to the rest of the night, because oh god, we didn't even bring it, Rachel Chris Harrison. We forgot to say that he was leaving and having Jojo come and take his spot. Right, you're right, our girls, because in my notes at the very top of my note, I said, Joe Joe, and I'm so proud of her. She's crushing it. I can tell she's a little nervous at first, because there's you know, as you've said before, everyone thinks Chris's job is so easy, but it's like there's a lot of pressure. You not only have to be there for the lead, you have to be there for all of these men to still, you know, explain the dates and how the weeks are going to go, and you have to hit certain marks and cues, and so it's probably a lot to remember. So props to her. I mean, I only hosted like one date throughout the entire thing, and I couldn't even remember what I was supposed to be explaining to the guys. So she looks amazing. She was there for Tasia. She's crushing it so far. I hope we still see some more of her, because I love to see a fellow bad seherette, you know, kind of take the reins for a little bit. Yeah, I forgot she was coming on to do this. I know she came on this podcast and she said it, but I totally forgot. So much has happened in Bachelorette world until when Chris was like it's a personal reason, I was like, oh my god, what's happening. I was like, oh my god, Joe, this is her moolvement. She was so great when she came in. I started laughing to myself because I thought, how would I have come in after Chris Harrison? Did you think about that for yourself? Where you like, how would I haven't? I know, I would have been like, ha ha, well it ain't gonna be nice anymore. Big Ranche to step into the room. It's about to go down. I want to mess with all of them. I was like, Oh my god, these poor men probably thinking this is like a third bound shreat that they're gonna Oh my god, something happened with Tasia and like, why is this your girl coming in? You're right, Oh, that's a good point because not everybody necessarily knows who Jojoe is. This why she had to say, hey, guys, in case Joejoe former bacherette, we have some people know. But that's so true. Oh Jojo, you're killing it and you looked beautiful as well. Yes, we'll get into the Noah and Bennett. I have a feeling obviously, since it's to be continued. We're gonna see a lot more happening with them next week. I'm very interested to know. Um overall though, I just want to know. I mean, Rachel, I know you love Bennett like. He's he's your he's your guy? Is my God? Are your like? Has anything changed since? Not at all? Not at all. I'm glad to see that emotional intelligence is making a comeback back on the show. Shout out to Taylor Nolan, who was the first one to bring it up. I love the fact you were deficient in three of them. Bennett Bennett. No, I'm and if anything, I love Bennett even more. Um, I'm I. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm not gonna lie back seeing the previous for next week, I don't know how I'm going to handle an episode without Bennett. It's not looking good for my boy. But um to be continued, I gotta jump into play Devil's advocate because you know, I also love me some Bennett. But he did start to really rub me the wrong way. I felt like I was back in middle school, like watching girls fighting bicker, and I just it made me feel bad a little bit. When I could tell that Noah's trying to hold back. But you know, also, Bennett is it's no one holding back or it can Noah just not keep up. You can't bring a knife to a gunfight. Okay, Noah can't keep up. That's how I'm reading it. It's not that Noah's holding back. He doesn't know what else to say. Oh can you spell privilege or whatever he said earlier? Like he can't, he can't compete. So I don't even I can't even. Let's not forget that Noah was a manipulator a couple of weeks ago. You know what I'm saying. Noah was manipulating the hell out of these men. So Noah's not an angel. I don't think Noah's playing the good guy. Noah just can't keep up with my boy. He just can't. Okay, I'm gonna let that go because I might not be here next week if I if I have to talk about Bennett going there will be a guest on the podcast. He won't be me. I'm boycotting. I'm I'm like, seriously, I'm going on a hunger strike. I don't like it. I don't like it. What if Bennett, I don't know what happens but what if Bennett became Bachelor? I can't. I will be on the season. That's that I know for sure. I've never pushed to be on a season harder, but I will if it comes to Bennett. Are you kidding me? All right? Months, I can't wait. No, not like that. I mean as to give advice, to give advice, to give advice, Oh my god, No, not like that. Not like that. I like to put her producers shirt hat and shirt on and walk in and I'll give me a fanny pack and an earpiece. Let me, let me, let me loose. Um. Okay, you guys to be continued when it comes to Bennett. Um, I might be taken next week off, So I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks if if things go south, Okay, it's giving you a fair warning. But onto our guest, because you know, we love to always give you guys a guest. We love to go inside of the Bachelorette bubble and talk to the people who are a part of the season, who made this season happen, and today is no different. We're so excited to bring on Ben and and particularly because I feel like there's a lot to ask with Ben. I feel like we don't know a lot about him, and let's see if we can get him to open up. Let's poke the bear, let's you know what, you know, what if Bennett starts, if Bennett is a little quiet in it. But look at me, look at me, look at me. I'm not over virtual. I'm not a Bennett. I'm not Oh my god, I'm not. Okay. First we only hear about dal and now we're only hearing about Bennett. I'm not okay, excuse me. You have what's the what's the over under of how many times I call Ben Bennett? Like, look seriously, but if Ben has trouble opening up, we'll say, Ben, you know what to do, Strip down, take that, shut off. Ben, you know how you do it? Okay, And with that, let's just get to Ben. Let's welcome home to the show chairs. What are you drinking? Welcome to a happy hour podcast? You've ever done? No, it's not you're you're not a newbie. I'm not. No, okay, let's this is I'm most excited for this one though. The facts you he's a suck up. The fact Ben that you the fact that you don't pay attention to the group chat lets me know you made it far into the season. Okay, you're it's above it's below you, it's beneath you. The group chat virtual. I wasn't in the group chat because I want they just still didn't put you in. No really yeah, because and I didn't want to be like I think somebody had actually say if I wanted to be added, and I was like, mmm, I'm already chat right now. It's like too much. I still talk to the girls that I wanted to talk to, but like to have twenty eight of us, I'm like, it's can't deal with that. Wait, Ben, Ben, who are you close with from your season now still today? Well, I don't really talk to many of the people, just I'm super busy with my job. I work all the time. But Brendan was probably the clock guy I was closest with in the house. Oh how did you room with? Was it Brendan? I roomed with Chasin yikes during the during the show. Um, but I was closest with Brendan. We were pretty similar, both more laid back, I think, more reserved, kind of thoughtful, and we just connected right off the bat. He's he's a really incredible guy. I mean, we can see it from two so actually we haven't seen it because we haven't seen much of Brendon on this show. What you see, what you see from him, and I hope like much the same for me. We just seem to be caught saying like thoughtful things or like the right thing or responsible things. That's very much how he is as a person. I think you know myself too, So it was really nice to get to meet him and not just Brendan, but there were tons of really great guys in the house. I think it's like a common themes, like we could say all the time, it's just really incredible dudes. This is why I love this season and Rachel and I have raved about you guys, because we truly think it's one of the best crop of men of contestants that we've seen. Like you guys are a little bit older and more established, have more depth, and and you can just I think, open up and you just have like more maturity than what we've seen. And I love the fact that you guys of course here and there. You know, we've had some guys on the podcast that have talked about some of the guys that they're not fond of, but overall it feels like you guys all have a really special bond and get a lot along a lot better than what we've seen in the past, which is great. I think that's awesome. Yeah, I think there was a pretty cool experience, you know, transitioning from Claire season Intutatious season. You know, we had that like i'll call it a shared struggle or whatever, but we had the bonds from that first experience and then moving into the second one was kind of like, oh wow, we're like here for each other as well as also like to pursue our relationship. It was pretty cool. Yeah, it's like a support system. Yeah, Ben, you set you work all the time? What do you do? I work as a strength and conditioning coach in southern California here, so I there's a family of gems locally. And then I also started my own business Slash Year, So it's been kind of a bit of a transition just into quarantine and like working from home and trying to build something digitally. It's a lot easier when you do fitness in person because you just there's only a certain number of hours in a day and you train people when they're available, but when you do it online, it's like you work all the time. So then we knew you were into fitness. We saw those glues just like glues a lot, to say the least. But before we get into that, how did like, just overall, how did you get on the show? So I was reached out to by a casting agent. I'm not exactly sure who they're from or how it exactly it works, but I was reached out and they said, hey, Ben, we really like you, know you as a person. I guess they fell in love with me via social media, but they said, how do you cat that? Uh no what they said. They said, hey, we'd really like you to you try out for the show, And so I initially I was like, you know what, that seems like I wouldn't do. I hadn't dated for a long time. I've been out of a relationship for a couple of years, and I really hadn't pursued any sort of dating thing. My transition. I was in the Army before. My transition out of the military was challenging for me, and so throwing myself into work was something that I was very comfortable doing. And so all the fulfillment that I got from like a romantic relationship. I weirdly enough got it from my professional life, and so I wasn't interested in that, wasn't interested in dating, wasn't interested in pursuing any of that. And then a couple of my friends, I was like telling them about it, and they're like, dude, like, don't be an idiot. Try that, Like, there's no other time to get an experience like this, and so remove yourself from your life, from the stresses of your daily life, and put yourself in like a experiment for lack of a better term. And so I got to really take advantage of that, and you know, I don't half ask anything, and so I showed up fully as myself and it was the most incredible experience, but also challenging experience that I think I've had a long time since coming from the show. How has business been, Has it been booming? And how many new girls are sliding into those dams trying to be your clients? I mean, I think naturally, you're there's more eyes on you, so you'd think business would be booming, but you know, times are challenging for people, and people aren't interested in spending money. So I think everybody's business may or may not be suffering, but I'm definitely getting more attention, which is nice. But you know, I'm more than just the dude that was on TV. I'm a professional and I care deeply about the work that I do, and so, you know, I would like people to pursue the services that I offer, not because of the celebrity or whatever you call it that I've gained from being on the TV program, but because I'm exceptional at the job that I do. Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I can relate to you when you say that, You know you can. You can be so involved in your work that that kind of takes the place of having a significant other, and then you wake up one day and you're like wait a minute, or you mask the fact that you really do want that other piece to it, but you just bury yourself in your work because it's almost easier than opening up and being vulnerable, especially when you've been hurt before. So I understand that. And then I was like, I don't go on The Bachelor, so I get it, Like I get exactly where you were in your life. So when you come onto The Bachelor, had you watched the show before not regularly or religiously. I'd never I'd seen a couple episodes here there. I knew the premise of the show. I knew it was gonna be several guys and one girl. I knew very little about Claire. I knew that there was a larger age difference, but I had heard that she was incredibly mature, that she espoused some of the values that I was, that I held very dear to my heart, like you know, empathy, you know, being just incredibly self respecting and staying treat to herself. And you can see that in the process she did that the whole way through. And I was just really interested in finally meeting somebody that, you know, could one like be an incredible relationship for me, could restore my faith in the fact that there are incredible women out there, but then also like maybe teach me something but I didn't know about myself. And I think for me, the experience gave me all three things. And like the relationships weren't just with the women but also with the guys. It was it was a very important experience for me. I think what I have found enticing about watching you is and I'm not gonna Lie and I have said this on the podcast. I think a couple of weeks ago, like I didn't think and please don't take the strong way. I did not, like, I just didn't expect you to go that far. I think, like, wait, wait, wait, what do you mean by that go far? Aware? Like in the season, like I like you because you were always so reserved, and maybe it's just like what we did not see in your time with Claire, Like you know, you weren't really in the in the middle of the drama. We didn't see all that much of you, and so you were just kind of like back in the shadows. And now we're obviously seen you come out of your cello a little bit more in each week. I feel like your theme is like to show up and to like prove yourself and to like just make the most of the time when you've you know, you learned from your experiences where you did it in one episode with your timing sucks. Yeah, yeah, I mean I think that's I think that's a theme in my life, Like as a whole, I try and do everything and make everything perfect and it comes back to buy me and me ass more times than not. And so you know, we've seen from the show. I try and do a special thing and it doesn't pan out, But I think that there's more opportunity for me to show up and for me to you know, make my presence sound. Yeah. Well, and you definitely are, like each week you're opening up more and more and even though when you recognize the struggle in that and so, I mean, we're personally loving it. Like I said, I find it more enticing. We're finally getting to know you on a deeper level, which is something like really incredible. But you obviously also do mention that it's not easy for you. So yeah, you know, up until this episode, at what point did you just decide to say, like, I'm going to go for it, even though it's not easy, I'm going to do all that i have to do and just hit the ground running. Like, how does that feel now that you're kind of getting to that place with her? Yeah, maybe, Unlike the first experience with Claire, there was an incredible immediate attraction between Tatia and I felt that I know she felt it, and it was something that I was important for me to at least pursue. I'm not going to go on this program or this experience and not give it everything I've got. It's not hard for me to be open and vulnerable in a platonic relationship with my closest friends help even like with you guys, I'm comfortable sharing things that are vulnerable to me. It's when I get into a romantic situation and I have to be vulnerable around someone that could potentially leave me and leave me hurting, That's when I wall off. And so it was incredibly challenging. And for like some people listening, they're like, oh my god, why don't you just like say how you feel. That's like the hardest thing for me to do. And so for me, it was a personal challenge to show up in each interaction, like you're talking about maximizing the time I had with Tatia, show up in each interaction. I give all of myself in a way that I might otherwise not and then see how it shakes out. I mean, the repercussions of it going poorly are that I get sent home, but like everybody except one person gets sent home. So I like had done some expectation management at the beginning, and I was just like, look, I'm just gonna send it, and I hope that it comes off. I hope that it comes off like it comes off nice, because it was I was so nervous. I don't get nervous, and I'm so nervous. I think in one of the previous episodes, I'm like talking about how nervous I am, and like, I don't get nervous and it'll come off just fine. Fastination is very forgiving to men, especially attractive men. I was so nervous. What's your sign, Malia Aliah? Yeah, all of best Friends videos would excess Leia the worst you really are. But you know what, recognize using it and being aware of it is the first step. Most leos can't do that just just being honestly les leos can't. So let's talk about the elephant in the room. By that, I mean you, yeah, and I mean the date, the art date as so many questions I want to know, so we can we can pass through the drawing because all y'all sucked at that. Yeah, he didn't have to show mine. I had a beautiful drawing. I can you notice I'm like smearing the pain. It was about the swirling emotions. There was another work of art to talk. Let's get to that, let's get to that the sculpture. Oh my god, But how how freaking weird is it that Blake did a penis? Is that what he did? They like? Is that? What is that? What he did? I love Blake? I love Blake. There's just a creepy there's just a very creepy persona that he keeps playing into that. I'm not when he was talking about it with some of the dudes later, like at the Hoose, and he was just like, I don't know why I did that, but I just thought it was a good idea. I'm Blake. I'm Blake's biggest fan. I'm Blake's biggest fan. He gave a beautiful, like eloquent explanation of why he chose to make a penis, but like, I can't remember right now, but in the middle, I was like, damn, that's good. They don't know that because they're playing into this theme of him being creepy. They also don't show how beautifully sculpted it was. So it was a penis. We this is ABC Family Station. It was beautiful that you'd go in a museum somewhere. It was it was I mean, did he say that it was that's what his looks like, because that's the only keep it. I'm not sure that's the only way to fix this. And this is a replica of mine, jed as we asked if he still has the penis sculpture, that might that's even creepier if he still has it. Oh, Blake, Uh, we're going down the dark. I hope he has it, and I hope it comes out during mental Oh but reappears. Okay, back to the elephant in the room. So we don't care. We don't care about the sculpture. We don't care about the drawing. We care about the self expression. So Ben, you did a little bit more than self express. Okay I did. Were you inspired by the two nude models that you saw before us earlier? Oh? Okay, let's take it back. So if you let's think about several years. Have you asked my mother about Ben. She'd be like, Mom, how's Ben? She like? Ben's an exhibitionist. Ben is naked all the time. And you and Kenny get along. Kenny's wonderful. I love Kenny. Also, I get along with everybody in the house. I have like four skills. One of them is just being friendly with everybody. And so you have skills and let's let's clarify know only has one of those four skills according to Bena, is that right, I don't know. I don't know. Twenty five year old Noah and twenty five year old Ben are very similar. I connected with Noah because I saw a lot of my younger self in him. I said that about Corinna last season. I get that. Okay, Yeah, I felt I and I didn't act in this way most often, but I felt this need to like mentor and take care of him. I also, my background is military. I was an army officer for a long time. I had soldiers that like and myself even they were Noah and I just, uh, I don't know. I don't even talk about him, but he's he's a great kid. He's a great kid. So back to the exodu. Yeah, so early on in the season, we see the guys have to play strip dodgeball. I was jealous that I didn't get to play strip dodgeball. Later on they played. Later on they play speedo basketball, and I'm like, houly shit, when do I get my chance to say my close And I had like nakedness, envy and um so the therapy date was really incredible for me because, as you can see throughout the season, I get these like small opportunities to be vulnerable and be open and express it with my words. And speaking is how I feel most comfortable expressing myself. Not to a romantic partner, but just in general. My job is public speaking. Being in the Army was public speaking. I'm a fitness coach now, I coach a classroom of people several times a day. I speak publicly. It's like where I'm most comfortable. And so I got all these opportunities, small little pieces to be vulnerable openly with my voice, and the arccade allowed me to express myself in other ways and then talk about it. And so we got to paint, we got to sculpt, and I got to like share a little bit here, a little bit there, and then the last bit to self portrait piece, I was like, holy shit, I can just blow this out of water and have a really thoughtful thing that I say. And my biggest fear was that I was going to drop my clothes and her be like, oh my god, there's a butt, Oh my god, he's got his butt out. But Tatian, I shared this moment where we had made eye contact and I expressed to her the things that I wanted to share, and she heard me and she saw me and she felt it and it was incredible for me, and I hope the same for her. But yeah, taking my clothes off was a literal and figurative figurative like dropping of my guard and maybe she like caught a glimpse of me, or maybe she didn't. I don't know, but it like wasn't about being naked. It was about removing this like barrier that I had. It. Oh, it was about being naked. Show anything, my legs are nice. I think that you were like, when can I be naked? Because we I mean everyone being on the on the podcast talking about like the strip, Dodgeball and the water Polo when they were in their sweetos, like we go slack for kind of hyping it up and being like, yeah, you know, it was entertaining, So I'm glad that you can. You know that too, like everyone listening. Ben was not forced to take that. That was my idea. That was my idea. Also, like on the show, maybe I come across as like very serious and like you do incredibly thoughtful in that in that experience I was, I cared very deeply about how the thing ends up, Like I don't play it. I don't play I said it in the show, I don't play, like if there's something that needs to be achieved or there's some sort of objective, and in this case, it was like getting to the end ultimately furthering my relationship with this beautiful woman. Then like I'm not fucking around, but in the same way, literally everything that I do as a joke and so and so that playful, fun sarcastic side got to come out in a small bit, but then I also got to be super thoughtful and super intentional with the way that I like curated that thing. Well, I want to segue from that you know, exhibition to then the cocktail party, because you know, we saw you, and I think what sucks what for me as a viewers, Like I'm so curious about all of you men, like I want to know more. And I felt like the conversation that you had that night with her deserved a lot more time, like I will. That's why I'm hoping. I don't know what happens in the weeks to come, but I would love to see a one on one just to learn more about you. But when you did finally open up that night to her, did you feel like did you feel more of the pressure to divulge that information because of a certain timeline or time frame that you thought you were on, or did you just genuinely want to open up like you felt like it was the right timeward. It's like I've let I've you know, literally shed my clothes, I've let my guard down, and now I have the capability, in the capacity to talk to Tatia about you know, like this heavy conversation. Yeah, I think specifically that night and then like every other instance during the season, for me, it was incredibly challenging to be open and vulnerable. Like I said, the romantic nature of our relationship like put some sort of weird frame on everything that I do. And maybe it's just because I was like a chubby kid and I'm like afraid that girls don't like me, or like whatever it is. I don't know, like I don't know what the thing is that causes me to do this. But in that setting, the dynamic between Tatie and I was often Ben, I need you to share some more stuff with me and be like oh, I don't want to do that. That's really scary for me. I can't do that yet. And she's like, Ben, like, come on, you gotta like share some stuff with me. And I'd be like, oh, that seems silly for me to do that. I can't do that right now. And then she'd like, Ben, just tell me some stuff and I would be like, okay, I'll tell you some stuff. And so that night, I think was like a nice gateway or like a breaking of this frame for me to just be like, holy shit, I'm just gonna tell you a whole bunch of stuff. And if it comes off weird, I don't know it's authentic. So like here it is, and I share some stuff that's vulnerable for me, and I think it gives me an opportunity then moving forward to like feel comfortable being open and vulnerable, because in that instance, it's small stuff. It's yeah, go ahead, Sorry, no, I'm still sorry. I thought I thought you were finished. I want you to finish your thought. Well, I was just gonna say. It's like it was, it's small stuff. And you can see throughout the course of the show it's like very gradual, like yeah, me getting naked is like a big thing, but like for me, that's not a big thing. It's just like a way for me to express something small. The stuff I said to her was far more meaningful, like this is my physical body. You can have this thing, but also all the stuff that's inside, you know. And I think just moving forward throughout the process, however long it goes, every time I'm with her, I'm able to divulge more and share more and be more vulnerable and ultimately like deep in the connection that we share. Yeah, that's what I was going to ask you, is after you have this moment with her, do you feel like it allowed you to just be your ultimate self as you progress during the show. And then the second thing is is so much time kind of was lost because of Claire and dealing with that and then a second bachelorette. Do you feel like it was a little bit too late for you or do you feel like you have enough You had enough time to really show her who you are. I think that I most certainly had enough time to show her who I am in the process. I was most concerned that given like the fleeting nature of our interaction and like you guys know, it's like small touches here and there. It's not days spend together, but those those times that you spend together are so intense and so like amplified for like lack of a better term, they're so important and so for me, luckily, I was able to be vulnerable and I wasn't holding out any longer, and so like the times that we were able to speak after that we were incredibly valuable for the relationship. I think the art date specifically, it was incredibly important for me because my interactions with Tatia had been group dates only, and so that little tiny bit, I mean we'd had like a cocktail party or like the end of a I miss the time with her at the at the after party on the group date, but the times that I spent with her up until that point had been like group focused, and so this me standing out on that date and I'm being more vulnerable than I'd ever been at the after party, I think was really valuable for not only my growth on the show, but like the growth of that relationship. Yeah, I want to ask you because this is something prior to you coming on, Rachel and I had chatted about this where we feel like it's been a lot of the men opening up and we're getting to know you guys more, which is great because we obviously did not see that the first couple of weeks of the season. But we like we were talking about how we wanted more from Tatia, like for her to interact more and to ask more questions and to open up a little bit further. Do you feel like, because you're now starting to become more vulnerable and like really share who you are. Do you feel like that was reciprocated and that she was able to do the same or was it more one sided? I don't know that it was one sided. I think there was more of an emphasis placed on me being openly vulnerable with her, and it was almost as if it was a challenge from her. We started off me walled up and not ready to share, and so I think the theme of our relationship, at least early on was more of like an interview style, where it's like Tasia asking questions or me asking Taisha to ask questions of me so that I can share information. Later, as the as our relationship progresses, there's more two ways sharing, But I think very much early on it was more of like a Tasia asking things of me, which I think was appropriate. I think it was appropriate and just like I said, given the short nature of our relationship, like not only in time, but in interaction, I think it was appropriate. Yeah, because she needs to know, she needs to know about me. You know, she's the one ultimately making the decision. And I said this all along. I said that, like it's an incredibly beautiful thing that she holds the holds like the key in this thing, Like she gets to decide. So like I'm here to be a part of the process. I'm here to do what they need me to do, what Tatia needs me to do, and I'm excited for the opportunity to progress this relationship, to learn more about her, but also to be more vulnerable. Um, do you read spoilers? You know I get overwhelmed and stressed, like really easy and so all the stuff. Welcome to bat. I know it's it's it's a lot, So get this. I could be in front of a room at ten thousand people speaking and be fine. I could be like deployed in like a war thing and like be totally fine. Uh, my phone if it has more than like five notifications on it, I can't handle it. I can't read the stuff. I'm not in the group. I can't do it. It's a weird. It's like a weird thing for me. I'm just so over I'm so overwhelmed by it. Um. And I hope I'm not alone in that. Maybe I am. I don't know, but like it's, uh, it's so overwhelming for me. So no, I don't. I don't read anything. People send me stuff all the time. But like, I just that's good that you don't. I can't. I have I have an incredible support system. Um, that's my roommate. A lot of my friends are seen if you're older than me, just for the nature of the community that I live in where I work, a lot of people are fifteen years older and they're like keeping me very levelheaded. And we have one rule, don't read the comments. So I don't. Oh my gosh, you're going to be so successful on this show. You already had the keys to success. You don't pay attention to you know what people are saying. You surrounded yourself with people who know you, get you, lift you, well, check you if your head gets too big, because that could happen as well. Yeah, And so I mean you're we aren't even worried about you. You're about to do fantastic. I also do. I'm like a religious therapy person, so I like and I've been doing therapy for a long time, and like I prepped for this experience with my therapist. I went into the experience, I came back, I like did an intensive thing. And so I'm like, I'm like, like I have a life outside of this experience, and I think that, like maybe some people don't see it that way, and so like I contribute to my community in a way that like I'm incredibly proud of, and so I can't let this experience also it was like incredibly important and something that like I'm extremely proud of as well. But like, I can't let this take away from my ability to be the person that I am for the people that I surround myself with. All right, clip it, clip this, pen this at part because Ben, don't ever lose that, don't ever lose this. It is so easy to get sucked up into all of this, and we're gonna clip this, We're gonna pin it, and if you ever get off track, we're just trying to slide into your DMS and play this because that's honestly, it's something that every contestant coming out off this show should think about, and that's how they should be this that's our nation world. It's so easy to get caught up in the praise, to get sucked into it, to get a distorted view of how the rest of the world views you, or even how you start viewing yourself. So that's beautiful that you're able to hold on to that. Therapy. I'm big on therapy too. Oh yeah, we've talked to some people before. We're like the number one advice we would give or that we've gotten is like, keep your therapist regarding because it's going to be a wave. It's still going to be up and down from here. You don't know like what's going to happen. Well, it's going to be shown what people are going to say, and so to have that support system in that just like steady structure to you know, like if you need to fall, you can land land there. It's so helpful. But this is why, like and Rachel, I've talked about this all the time, is that bachelination things are so fickle and fleeting. There's a villain one day, there's a new villain the next. People love you one day, they're gonna hate you the next. It's this roller coaster, and to still know, like stay true to who you are and to know, like I have my career that I love, I have my friends and family that I can lead, and I have all these things that make me who I am, and not just this show, Like as you said, You're not just like bet on The Bachelor, Like this is only going to last for a couple of months, and so I think, I mean, I wish everyone on your season could take note and from seasons to come could take note of that mentality and to keep that in mind because like it's not going to be lasting. I have a friend who's you know, I've been pretty instrumental in my development over the last couple years, and he said to me before I left, he said, without expectation, and there are no limitations. And so like it worked, going into the experience, I had no expectations. I showed up completely as myself. I challenged myself in a way that I'd never challenged myself before, and so there were no limits on what happened there. But the same applies coming home. I have no expectations and like what will ultimately be shown on TV. I know the experience that I had. I know the relationships that I built, you know, the friendships that I cultivated. And for me, the only thing that matters is what mattered before going on the show, and so the community that I live in, the people that I love here, that's what matters now. And then like ultimately, there'll be opportunities and things that come up this experience, new friends, things like that, But I care deeply about what I do, and so I don't think I'm gonna like lose the whatever I've got going right here. I'm gonna say it, Ben, and then we're going to get to the roles and Thorn, I'm gonna say it, you have the makings of a good bachelor. I was joking that Frankly say, I don't know what. I don't know what. I don't know what that means, but I appreciate it. We don't make that statement out out too much. We'll put that out there, but I'm just gonna say, you know, this audition, it's my hair. This was an audition. Would you say yes to it if it were to come? I mean, I don't know what happened. I don't read the spoilers, but I don't know what happens in the end of the season. I guess we'll have to watch it. We'll have to wait, we'll find out. Okay. Well, we always ask this if every contestant, everyone that joins us, because we have to know. And it sounds like from what I'm hearing, you don't have any regrets, which I think is key to this and to have like a really successful just appreciation for the show and what you put yourself through. So I hope that's the case. But if you were to give us your rose and thorn of the season so far, you know, because we have there's a lot more that that we've yet to see. But so far, what would it be? Uh? The rose? What does that mean? There's someone that we like? Highlight in your low light? Up until this point, the highlight of this experience for me has been taking a chance on myself and pursuing a thing that I didn't think I needed to pursue. I'm very comfortable in the world that I live here in here, I'm very comfortable with the work that I do. I know I'm exceptional with the job that I do. Every day. It doesn't stress me, it doesn't challenge me, it doesn't scare me in the way that like the Bachelor experience scared me. And so I think my rose for this experience is the fact that I stepped outside of my comfort zone and challenge myself in a way that I usually wouldn't um my thorn, I'm upset I never got invited to Chateau Bene. To be honest, you and me both, I'm upset. Ben Bennet and I were very close, but I never got the yoga invite. I never got the face mask invite with like extra face mask from mud Master because because you were taken up from Noah. Get this. So I'm a strength coach here in Venice. We have muscle Beach here locally, we made a muscle beach at Laquita. Bennett and I and all the guys we trained at muscle Beach every day. But I never got the invite to do face masks. And so that's my thorn. Who was I feel like we've asked a couple of guys, but who would you say on muscle beach was the most fit out of all the guys that are left me? Do you see you. Yeah, why not, let's go. I love it. No, that's it. I mean, I mean, uh no, I mean I do this professionally, so I better like be all right. But uh, you know, Zach see incredibly fit. He's got a mental really, he's got another gear mentally that he can go to and so I appreciated his fitness. And Kenny is incredibly jacked. We've all seen that everybody brings something different to the table. I feel like you guys are all like every single one of you, at least the date that I hosted last week, everyone was tall. Everyone was like, I'm like the shortest dude in the house. How tall are you? Six two? You're the shortest, I'm one of the shortest. Yeah. Man, um wow, well that's I mean, six two's not short. So let's just let's just be honest, Okay, Ben, It's been fun. It's been great to get to know you off the showers, you know what I mean, because I feel like you're one of the quieter ones. But it's been really fun to get to like sit down and talk to you, to get a little bit more insight behind the scenes, where your head's at, what's behind the rope the towel whatever. You with your hands, thank you. We had to keep it tasteful. I covered up with my hands too, But no, but no, seriously, I can't. I'm very curious Becca, and I don't know how this season ends, but I'd be shocked if you don't make it far. Um. You seem like a really good guy and very level headed, which sad to say, it's rare, and that's franchise. It really is to the people that come on the show. So we'll be watching. Yeah, thank you, Ben, Thank you for pleasantly surprising me and proving me wrong yet again. I'm always wrong in this show. But um, I'm glad that I didn't just write you off for like a week tour and that you're you're still here showing more of us, showing more of you to us. That's right. Well, I appreciate it. Thank you so much, Ben was I was impressed, Becca, dare I say it? I was impressed with Ben. I'm more pressed that I didn't say call him Ben it the entire imagine. Impressed with you for that too. I thought I was going to pop out at one point. Um, you know what I love. And each week, we of course keep talking about like how we love having the guys on here to get a different perspective and to get to know them better. But I like the fact that we're having men on now that just didn't go home the night before and now we're catching up with them about their experience. I like having them on halfway through. We don't know how far he makes it, and some of the other guys that we've had on two, we don't know how far they go. And I love that fact because a it keeps us guessing, It keeps it keeps the listeners guessing, but it just gives us a new fresh perspective because they can only give us so much, and so I find that as like one of my favorite parts each week of having them. Really, I can't stand it. I can't stand the fact that they're yeah, because I I'm afraid, like Ben was great, but if Ben does something, I'm going to want to ask if Ben goes home home in the next episode or you know what I mean, because Ben seems to me like he would make it very far. I get the attraction that Tasia has to him, So I'm just going to have so many more questions or what if he's not the person that we think he is. I don't like this, and I think this is the lawyer in me. I need to know all the evidence before I sit down and I question you. I don't like this the story. Yeah, this goes against everything that I stand for. Let me pitch you this idea and tell me your thoughts. Why don't we because obviously there's a mental all coming at some point with Chris Harrison. Why don't we do a mental all at some point with all the guys that have gone home and now we can take them back in and say, hey, we talked to you about this on the podcast and you said this, but you really meant this or this then happened and get a new fresh perspective. We'll have our own ment all. I think that is a fantastic idea, but I'm going to be a hundred percent honest with you. I'm not interested to you. Just want no no no no no, no no no. I have lost my interest. Okay, I don't need to talk to you like I'm I'm eager to talk to you right here in this moment. By the time we get him and tell all, I have moved on. I have moved on I'm not interested in it. Yeah, old news, old news. Unless it's something crazy that happens, I'm not interested. I'm not interested. I would like to have Ben it on again, just to re rehash the drama that we're now seen. Yeah, and I too, I'll have been on a different podcast or I was just I was just damn or something. I need most of some new podcasts at some point, let's be honest. Who been it? Yeah, he's strong. His strong suit is video video like he shines, but I don't know. We shall say, well, Ben was great, but it was great. I actually was pleasantly surprised. Um I yeah, I was interested. It was an interesting interview. Yeah, yeah, we'll see. Like you said, I think he'll go far. I'm glad that I was wrong and that we're seeing more of him. So who knows? To be continued, which is what we've seen in this episode this week. So next week we'll kick it off with the Rose ceremony. And in the meantime, guys, remember to keep sending us all of your questions about your favorite guys because we'll most likely have them on at some point in this podcast, and you know where to find us, and if you don't already know. It's at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Batch Happy Hour on both Facebook and Twitter. That's right. And last, but not least, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wandering App, or wherever you're listening to this right now. Hi guys,