Drama, Babies, and Icks | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour. Thank you so much for coming back and listening to Kathy and I.

00:00:15
Speaker 2: We are so ready to jump into another episode where we get to give advice and talk about our lives. And I'm kind of like a broken record season with the allergies. I can't I just tell you.

00:00:30
Speaker 3: A week after week it's for you to take medicine.

00:00:34
Speaker 2: You know what I want to do. I want to go to Fiji and line a beach somewhere.

00:00:38
Speaker 3: And we can do that. We can do that.

00:00:42
Speaker 2: I mean really, it's really bad, but all right until I get on the beach, which I keep saying, you know which, we should be there in just a few weeks. Today that we're going to answer more if your fan questions. Make sure you're submitting all of your questions and comments to us at Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. We love reading them, we love hearing from you, so please please continue to do that.

00:01:09
Speaker 1: Yes, send us everything, your questions, your updates, your comments.

00:01:13
Speaker 3: You can do it all and you can also dm.

00:01:17
Speaker 1: Us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Okay, time to get into the episode.

00:01:22
Speaker 2: Kathy.

00:01:23
Speaker 1: We got to start with the latest Bachelor episode. Come on, now, what did you think?

00:01:28
Speaker 2: Okay, I got to say this coming off the bat. When I first got married, I lived in Scotland and so it was really hard for me to watch, especially since it was right on the anniversary of my husband's death. We lived in Scotland first two years of our marriage. It is a beautiful country. I want to know why you and I haven't gotten to get you know, gother on a show, but maybe not.

00:01:49
Speaker 1: One of the things I said was I am pissed. I mean, seriously, Scotland. Really, listen, where do we go?

00:01:57
Speaker 2: Why are you complaining? You got to go to the Santam to compare and have cotton candidate? All right, let's talk. When when Grandpa said Scotland it's coming out of the Romance books, He's right. Scotland has this beautiful misty, you know, beautiful moors.

00:02:13
Speaker 1: The helicopter ride, Oh my god, it was the best date ever. Dressed in royalty. She looked forgeous and then he put the paint reckless on her. Wait, I want to know does she get to keep that damn diamond?

00:02:26
Speaker 2: Cholas?

00:02:28
Speaker 3: But did you notice how they shared really similar stories?

00:02:32
Speaker 2: That's what I was going to say I didn't, so was it? So I told you before. She comes from Newton, mass where I come from. She is from my hometown, and my sister knew her uncle, so like, I felt like, she's family here, Juliana, your family. He had somebody no no, no one of somebody in her family had addiction issues, and he was saying that Grant's dad had addiction issues. So they on it over that. I love that. But but Susan, did you did you wonder where their connection came from at all?

00:03:07
Speaker 3: I like her.

00:03:08
Speaker 1: I like her a lot, She's bubbly. She yeah, no, I didn't. I think they connected that night.

00:03:15
Speaker 3: I really do.

00:03:16
Speaker 1: But I also think he's telling everybody that he's connecting with them, which makes it more disgus.

00:03:21
Speaker 2: Right, he's harder to believe.

00:03:23
Speaker 3: Trying to figure it out. Then we get to Carolina.

00:03:27
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, wait, wait, did you love the dancers? They're called highland dancers? Like I was one of the bag pipers, and let me just tell you how difficult it is to blow and get When he did that, Grant props to you. That is amazing. But here's the thing that the date was beautiful. Her pink dress was gorgeous. Juliana really has good connection. But you know, I'm just wondering where it came from. I just you know, maybe it's been there all along, they just haven't showed to me. Maybe it's the edit. Okay, So then we get Carolina on the group date and.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: Knows Paldys, and then she gets blamed. But he did ask her. When Dina was saying, you took him away today too and ruined all of our times.

00:04:14
Speaker 2: He did space. But you know what she I don't know about anyone picked up on it. But when she said, you know, he's all the girls. I found this interesting, and it's typical I think of younger women. All the girls were talking about how they thought they thought that, uh, they were having this romantic conversation. In other words, they thought it was all going positive, when in fact their conversation together was not warm, fuzzy. It was you know, what's wrong? What are you thinking? And she was saying she wasn't sure she's ready, And they all thought that that conversation was about love and them being in love, and really they didn't have a connection. They both were saying, this is really hard. I just found that interesting that the girls jumped to the assumption that they did.

00:05:04
Speaker 1: But you could tell but her by her face. The whole time, she was not involved. She was not being a team player. It was a group tea and it was the smallest group date that they had so far, and she was not being a team player. When Zoe finally got to talk to him and made her feel better, I mean, that was really cool too, and she did get.

00:05:25
Speaker 2: A roo I know. But here's the thing. I think that I can't help but believe there's more going on than what we see because Carolina is painted to be and maybe she is. You know, we know how edits go zip it. She is someone who seems to need a lot of attention and isn't afraid to go after it. But I feel like there's something that we just aren't seeing. There's something that just doesn't seem right to me.

00:05:57
Speaker 1: I don't just feel like she could be moody, you know. And she did take some if you will, in the beginning on the show with all the girls on the couch, and again last night they they didn't gang up.

00:06:09
Speaker 3: But and then what was it? Seraphina and said, it's over.

00:06:13
Speaker 1: It's just when we're talking about it we're just I was imagining me sitting there hearing that.

00:06:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, I felt again though, I feel like Susan, you're right. I thought that was cold and a bit harsh. But on the other hand, we don't know what was going on prior to We just started out. And that's what's hard for me on this show. I feel like it's a little disjointed. Where how are we getting to? Where we're getting But let's talk.

00:06:40
Speaker 1: About how about the t and did you know the Drenk Day that's what they call it.

00:06:47
Speaker 2: I've never never heard of it. I lived, but I was very proud. May I say, if you go, if we're just a little point of factor, if you go to Edinburgh and you say Edinburgh, you will be stoned. And they all knew that it was Edinburgh, so I gave them great props for that.

00:07:05
Speaker 3: I love to tell Litia and Grant tied the infinity.

00:07:09
Speaker 2: Now.

00:07:09
Speaker 3: I like them together. They were they were really easy.

00:07:12
Speaker 2: They seem to have a natural connection that they they She is a nurturing spirit. I think he likes that.

00:07:20
Speaker 1: And have him saying how he eats he ate alone, and you know she was wiping his tears.

00:07:26
Speaker 2: That was so beautiful Susan, did you I don't. I don't know, but tell me I was gonna ask about that. Does Grant. I feel like that's the only time he cried on one on one I believe so, and that makes me think as much as I love my hometown girl, I feel like he's got this very strong connection with Littia that I'm not seen with the other girls. But it's it, you know, the.

00:07:56
Speaker 1: List, it's the moment, it's what they're talking about that brings yeah.

00:08:01
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now her Mormon faith and the fact that she hasn't brought home men and she's only dated, has never dated outside of her faith. I think that could be really tricky. I really do. I mean you and I joke about you know, your full.

00:08:16
Speaker 1: Bloodie on hometowns. That's where it's going to happen.

00:08:20
Speaker 2: We'll see how that goes. I think that could.

00:08:21
Speaker 1: Be Kathy, what did you think of Carolina had taken Dina upstairs towards right before the rose ceremony happened and did the hugging and the because Dina was on her side in the beginning, and then she turned when she saw things that she wasn't seeing.

00:08:38
Speaker 3: Remember, she used to stick up for her.

00:08:41
Speaker 2: Yes, I was.

00:08:42
Speaker 3: Glad that they kind of made up.

00:08:44
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like, you know, I have to be honest. I feel like maybe there might have been some pressure to see what happened when they went upstairs. Again, to me, I'm struggling because it seemed a little bit like, why is she doing that at the you know, they're standing for the you and I stood for a roaster, you don't, you know?

00:09:09
Speaker 1: I thought she really wanted to clear the air because she knew Dina had her back for so long, and she.

00:09:15
Speaker 2: Or she knew she was going home and she wanted to I think she felt it, she said when she said to Grant, they're sitting on that rock. When she said, you know, I don't I can't remember exact words, but you know, I'm just not sure about all this. I saw a change in his face, like you're not sure it's over. Like so I kind of feel like she had the sense she was going home and I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't think she's as bad as what they pin her out to me, but again, I just kind.

00:09:48
Speaker 1: Of questioned on every shif every show happened to her.

00:09:53
Speaker 2: But I wanted to say one more thing that Grant when he cried, he was saying he wanted family and a family who would love him and have dinner together. She said, that's exactly what I want. And he said he felt like she was a safe place. And I think, you know, as as as good looking and all the things that he has, I do think that he has some insecurities, and I feel like with Letia he doesn't. He doesn't.

00:10:26
Speaker 3: He was sharing how much he wants a family.

00:10:29
Speaker 2: And he's been sharing that since night.

00:10:31
Speaker 3: One deep deep conversation they were having. I didn't see him go that deep, like he listened to other girls things issues, wishes, you know, but this one would This one was pretty deep.

00:10:46
Speaker 2: I like that.

00:10:47
Speaker 3: But I still love our Julian.

00:10:49
Speaker 2: Oh. I love Julian. I told her hometown. But to me, it's coming down to those two. I don't know. I feel like it's going to be between those two. And that's why I'm really anxious to see. I love the pre you about Juliana's father, Like I'm Battalian. I thought I saw that. I thought, oh my god, the baseball mat, the baseball bats coming back out.

00:11:10
Speaker 3: Do you think scared him? Do you think it scares them.

00:11:13
Speaker 2: I think I think it would scared the hell out of me. Let's talk about who went home. Uh, it leaves Carolina, Audios and Sarafina and Alex. I felt sorry for them, you know, he he he sounded like he had a connection with them.

00:11:30
Speaker 3: And again you have to get it down though, you have.

00:11:33
Speaker 2: To, I know. But what we saw for me was a disconnect. What we saw was having this great conversation, not so much with Alex recently, but definitely with Sarah Fina, and so I was like, wow, you know, I mean, I'm do you see the big connection with Dina? I don't.

00:11:53
Speaker 1: I liked her from the start. I like her, impressed by who she is, Harris herself. She's intelligent. I think he likes the professionalism in her.

00:12:06
Speaker 2: But I don't see the passion.

00:12:08
Speaker 3: I don't see I don't feel the passion. Yeah.

00:12:11
Speaker 2: Maybe I am just jaded now. Uh you know, maybe that's what the deal is, because I feel like he's told first of all, I ran, but he's told everyone. I you know, I want. I can see you having a family with you. I can see having a what you be my wife? I could see us having a family together. Neat dinner together. So I'm sitting there like I feel like we're playing Russian Rouletti or darts. You know, let's just throw one and see where it lands. So what what about on an our show?

00:12:40
Speaker 1: We didn't know what was happening with the other women and Gary at the same time.

00:12:45
Speaker 3: You know, we only knew our moments, you know what I mean?

00:12:49
Speaker 2: Well, I knew that I knew moments.

00:12:52
Speaker 3: Because I watch I look forward to see what happens.

00:12:56
Speaker 2: I can't. I just so, wait, do you want to vote? Who do you think it's going to be the fine? Who do you think is gonna win?

00:13:02
Speaker 3: Oh? Oh, I can't say it?

00:13:08
Speaker 2: Who's the others? Wait? Who is the Who's the fourth? We've got Litia, we have Juliana, we have Dina. Who's the fourth? Zoe? Zoe is the fourth and I haven't really seen a great connection with Zoe either.

00:13:22
Speaker 3: They're comfortable too, Yeah.

00:13:25
Speaker 2: Well comfortable. So if you had to go out on a limb, who a you going with? Are you going with Juliana?

00:13:31
Speaker 1: I like it to be Juliana, But I think the other night when they yeah, gosh.

00:13:38
Speaker 2: I don't know, well, I would like I said, I want I want to be at the parade in Newton, Massachusetts when if Juliana is the one I want to you know, I want to have the Golden Bachelor Bachelor parade with the gorgeous young one. But I kind of feel like Litia. They have a more a bigger connection. But we'll see, you know, all right, Well, this is fun. We can't wait for next week. Lenow, you're ready, Susan. Let's get into the question of the day.

00:14:05
Speaker 3: Here we go.

00:14:15
Speaker 2: What's one piece of advice you'd give someone before they lose their virginity? Susan, to me, this is so simple, so simple. Be sober, you know the point. It might be somebody you don't ever want to wake up next to again. It may be a guy, maybe just a thrill, maybe just be fun. You just maybe wanted to get laid. Yes, I said that, but that's all okay, as long as you do it with your full faculties. You've got to be sober, don't be high, don't be drunk.

00:14:48
Speaker 1: And not only that, make sure you're safe and make sure you're in the right environment and that it really has meaning for you. I'm sure you're not losing your virginity, just but lose your virginity.

00:15:00
Speaker 3: Oh no, I think seriously.

00:15:02
Speaker 2: No no, no, no no no no no no.

00:15:05
Speaker 3: Well you're asking me my advice to young people.

00:15:09
Speaker 2: You think young people only have sex with people that they want a serious relationship with.

00:15:15
Speaker 3: I hope everybody thinks.

00:15:16
Speaker 2: Though, Susan, Honey, what do you want from me? I mean, and also, you gotta you know, you gotta protect yourself. You have to use condoms, you know what I mean, protect yourself safe. Well, now here's the thing. There's other you know, there's other ways. I want any guy I'm sleeping with, if I don't know him, well, I want him to come with a lab report. I want his blood test.

00:15:37
Speaker 3: That was now.

00:15:41
Speaker 2: I have a funny story about that, but it's not for it's not for public consumption.

00:15:45
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're going to get right into the fan questions.

00:15:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get away from virginity. Who even remembers what that's like.

00:15:51
Speaker 1: I'll read the first one, Kath, it's from anonymous.

00:15:54
Speaker 2: Okay, go go, go.

00:15:56
Speaker 1: Hi, Kathy, and Susan, I really need your help. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now, and the other night he unexpectedly sprang a big conversation on me. He was talking about our future with shared finances, where we might want to live, etc. They're all things we should be talking about. I just wasn't prepared to have that conversation. Anyways. He told me that he wants to have children, and I was really shocked. I always knew he was more open to it than I was, but I didn't expect him to want kids as much as he does. He says he's flexible and emphasizes that he's not totally sure.

00:16:42
Speaker 3: Here's my problem.

00:16:43
Speaker 1: I have the same feelings about my desire to be child free. I can see that changing down the line, but as of right now, I'm really leaning towards now.

00:16:54
Speaker 3: Is this the end for us?

00:16:56
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven and he's twenty eight, and we both the great marriage and anything kid related will be saved for our thirties.

00:17:05
Speaker 3: Thanks ladies to me.

00:17:08
Speaker 2: It's an easy answer.

00:17:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, but wait a minute. Did you see her at the beginning? She was so shocked, like, isn't that what couples talk about. That's a good thing they're communicating.

00:17:19
Speaker 2: Well, it is a good thing. I think she just maybe two years in everyone's got a different timeline. Maybe she just felt like we're still having fun. She's twenty seven. Maybe she's in her mind thinking mid thirties is when she's gonna move in. Who knows, who cares? Really, the fact is neither one of them is dead set on having kids. This happens. Can I tell you not how many, but I know at least three friends children's friends who ended up divorced because it read just like this letter. I'm not sure, he's not sure, but we love each other, we have the same goal. We want to travel, we want to do this, but we're not sure about kids. And inevitably one or the other came out they wanted kids, and the other one came out definitely not wanting kids, and it was a deal breaker in their marriage.

00:18:14
Speaker 1: So Anonymous, what she's saying, he's flexible, Yeah, right now he is, but he's leaning towards.

00:18:21
Speaker 3: Them's he's not sure either. But she sounds like maybe down the line, but right now she's not ready.

00:18:30
Speaker 2: So my answer, my advice is if you love the guy and you agree on everything else or many other things, then take the risk. You know, move in, have the conversation about finances, do all those things, and then when the shoe drops, and that is you come to him and say, honey, I've decided I never want children, and he says that's a problem because I've decided I really do. That's probably gonna be the end of your marriage, in my opinion, because the resentment will grow on both sides of the table.

00:19:05
Speaker 1: So I don't think that conversation is the end for you. That's what she's asking. No, it's not the end, but it's youth.

00:19:12
Speaker 2: It is.

00:19:13
Speaker 3: You need a bigger conversation.

00:19:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, the bigger conversation is are you willing to take the risk because we may end up on opposite sides of the table and it excuse.

00:19:23
Speaker 1: Me, But then doesn't feel a little pressured if we're saying this, she might feel pressured like.

00:19:29
Speaker 3: Okay, what day am I going to feel? Like? I know the answer to that. You don't know.

00:19:34
Speaker 2: Well. But the friends that I had their kids, the ones I only know of one of my friend's kids who was on the fence and decided they wanted kids if they were leaning to not having them. The ones that were leaning towards not having them once they were married, they definitely decided they didn't want them.

00:19:56
Speaker 3: I have friends with no kids.

00:19:57
Speaker 1: I mean, it's yeah, but people with no kids, but when one once in the other doesn't, that is a problem.

00:20:04
Speaker 2: It's it's you know what. I hate to say it, but it's like, can you get over that. It's like if a spouse cheats on another spouse, or a partner cheats, you know, you got to you have to decide either it's going to be a deal break or it isn't, because it could go either way.

00:20:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, it could.

00:20:18
Speaker 1: And you don't want to resent the person that doesn't want to have the children when you did.

00:20:23
Speaker 2: You know, well you will if you want children and your partner says no. And here's the thing, Anonymous, you might get together you're twenty seven, you might be thirty four, thirty five and really decide you don't want children.

00:20:41
Speaker 1: That's okay, But it might think it's too late for him or something like that.

00:20:45
Speaker 2: Or he might decide he really wants kids. So now you know you end up splitting ways. You got to start over.

00:20:51
Speaker 3: You know, it's a possibility.

00:20:53
Speaker 2: It's it's yeah, it's a possibility. I guess what I would say to you is accept the risk.

00:20:58
Speaker 3: If you love the guy, Yeah, exactly. We wish you luck that.

00:21:03
Speaker 2: Let us know if you get pregnant, if you get married, if you move in and and by the way, when you're doing up the chore list, make sure he is doing the laundry in the vacuum. And if you need a good idea for a Christmas gift, by the vacuum. All right, question number two Marina right.

00:21:20
Speaker 3: High ladies.

00:21:22
Speaker 2: Hi, Marina High Ladies. I'm really frustrated and I feel like you guys could be a big help. Right now. I'm thirty two and I've been married to my husband for three years. Ever since we got engaged, my parents have been hounding me on when I'm having children. My husband and I have always wanted to be child free and that hasn't changed for either of us. Well, they need to reach out and talk to anonymous. Okay, I've tried telling them so many times. I've tried this sit down, sensitive conversation. I've snapped a few times, you name it, I've tried it, but I'm at a loss. They still are confident I'm going to change my mind. What do I do to get through to them that I'm not having kids. It's making me crazy and I need them to can it. In other words, you know, what they need to zip it. Susan, thank you, I love you too so much. Here's what you do, Marina, put a note in. Write them a note because they clearly aren't listening to you in person. Write them a note and say it is affecting your relationship. If they want to continue seeing you and your spouse, partner, whatever, then they're going to accept that you're never going to have children. You're not adopting, you're not getting a cat, you're not getting a dog, you're not getting a pet hamster, and you're not having a baby. And if you don't want to accept that, you're not going to see very much of us. I think it's time to lay down the bar here, she said, she's tried everything.

00:22:55
Speaker 3: What do you think I agree with the fact that you have to sit your parents down?

00:23:00
Speaker 2: She did, She sat him down.

00:23:02
Speaker 3: I know i'd sugarcoat it a little more and.

00:23:05
Speaker 1: Say, mom, like you said, it will affect a relationship, because I feel guilty every time you say that to me. Why don't you understand we don't want children. We my husband and I. It's our choice, you know what, You just their choice.

00:23:23
Speaker 2: You just hit on something really important. I don't think the other thing that could be is that the mother feels like in some way she's failed, because why, you know, why wouldn't my child eye birth? I had my child, why would my children? That's what I'm saying. So she might feel like a failure the mom.

00:23:44
Speaker 3: Why would she feel like a failure of her daughter?

00:23:46
Speaker 2: Did she?

00:23:47
Speaker 3: Because children? I get it.

00:23:49
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, like I failed some way to my daughter. But you know what I would.

00:23:53
Speaker 3: Say, she said she's tried everything.

00:23:55
Speaker 2: I know.

00:23:59
Speaker 1: Write her a note this time, just say it's gonna come between us. You're you're making it hard. You're making it to the point where we don't want to spend time with you, because that's all you talk about. That's what my husband and I are making this choice.

00:24:14
Speaker 2: Mom.

00:24:14
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to disappoint you, and God, I hope she has other children that.

00:24:19
Speaker 3: Maybe they'll give her grandchildren. But yeah, you got to just keep trying.

00:24:22
Speaker 1: Or or on another note, I dare say this guy, Yeah, Mom, we're trying, just not happening.

00:24:32
Speaker 3: That's a lie though I.

00:24:34
Speaker 2: Know then it's gonna be one you do, ivy app We're not adopting, we're not getting a hamster, we're not or if you want to be really cruel, Marina by your mother a puppy, say here's something to keep your busy.

00:24:49
Speaker 3: Mom.

00:24:51
Speaker 1: Really, you just have to share with them that it's your husband and yours life.

00:24:57
Speaker 3: You're not bringing children into it. Sorry, mom, move on.

00:25:02
Speaker 2: I'll tell you my my daughter. They talk about whether they're gonna have a second child or not. I don't weigh in. I say whatever you want.

00:25:08
Speaker 3: To do it.

00:25:10
Speaker 2: It's their life, their life.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: But good luck, sweetie. And that's a tough one. It is because it's your mom. I know you love her.

00:25:17
Speaker 2: But yeah, Susan, are you wait, are you at all?

00:25:22
Speaker 3: No?

00:25:22
Speaker 2: Do not try, Brina, do not try.

00:25:25
Speaker 3: No, keep on trying to tell your mother.

00:25:27
Speaker 2: I know I'm just making a joke. Do you love it? Wait? Do you love it that we agree on so many things?

00:25:33
Speaker 3: Yes?

00:25:33
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm shocked sometimes, but yes, yes, when you see it my.

00:25:39
Speaker 3: Way, I love it.

00:25:40
Speaker 2: I love it when you show good thinking skills and reaching skills, which means you agree with me.

00:25:46
Speaker 1: Carry on, go okay, Lily, Hi, Susan and Kathy. I'm such a huge fan of the pod and I was hoping you could help me out with something. I graduated from college about seven months ago and got a remote job right out of school. Right around the time I started my job, my older sister gave birth to her first kid. I love my niece so much, but I literally cannot babysit anymore. My sister asks me all the time. I've been watching my niece three times a week for the past five months.

00:26:24
Speaker 2: I need a phone number. Wait, thick of it, I need a phone number. My daughter needs a babysitter.

00:26:29
Speaker 1: I'm missing out on time with my friends, time with my boyfriend, and I'm honestly exhausted after working all day. My mom snapped at me when I tried to open up to her about it, and told me I was being lazy, unreasonable. My sister can afford a nanny, but she doesn't want one because she doesn't want to spend the money if she has a free sitter.

00:26:55
Speaker 3: Me.

00:26:56
Speaker 1: Lol, Am I being unreasonable? How do I talk to wear about this? Love you guys?

00:27:01
Speaker 3: Oh my god? Can I say something?

00:27:04
Speaker 1: You are absolutely right you are living. That's her baby, her and you know what I'd say. If it's an emergency or once in a while, you want to go out with your husband, I'll do it. But I cannot do it three times a week?

00:27:17
Speaker 2: Can I tell you?

00:27:18
Speaker 3: No?

00:27:19
Speaker 2: I agree with you, but you know, it's a bigger issue here, and I think families sometimes struggle with this. It's called boundaries. And how about the mother getting on her You watcher that, but that's what's telling me there's a boundary issue in this family because Lily is not able to set boundaries with her older sister for her mother and nor her mother, and the mother is not setting appropriate boundaries with what she says to Lily. So the issue here is Lily. You know, we all want a lot of our questions are have the similar theme in that they're looking for a magic pill, you know, a magic thinking what Susan and Kathy, what what could you tell us that would magically Lily? This is not going to be an easy conversation, but it's a conversation that needs to be had. You need to gently and quietly and calmly tell your sister exactly what Susan said. It's unreasonable for you to ask me, I have a life. This is your child. You need to raise your child in an emergency, YadA yaddaye everything.

00:28:29
Speaker 1: One specific day a week that you're willing to come babysit other than that, I can't because.

00:28:35
Speaker 2: Whatever it is. But my point is you, Lily, have to set the boundary. You have to set the parameter because your sister has already shown you that she will take whatever you're willing to give. And then some.

00:28:52
Speaker 1: Kathy I mean said unreasonable. How come the mother grandmother's not babysitting to me, that's a red herring. It's it's superfluous to the conversation.

00:29:03
Speaker 2: I don't care. They just need.

00:29:06
Speaker 1: And it's a sin because they're gonna get mad at her over this. I feel your pain, I really do, Lily, but you have to set your foot down or charger. Okay, then you're gonna have to pay me if I have to do this.

00:29:19
Speaker 2: I don't think it's the money. I don't think I have the money. She said she's missing out with time with her boyfriend.

00:29:25
Speaker 1: In her friend she is so time and has the babysit three times a week.

00:29:30
Speaker 2: Susan, don't yell at me. I'm I'm an agreement with it.

00:29:33
Speaker 3: Lily, give me your number, really, trust me.

00:29:39
Speaker 2: We haven't had this conversation a long time, but when Susan's upset, she has a cadre of baseball bats and she will use them. Do not, I repeat, do not give Susan her phone number. But seriously, Sweeten, this is all about setting appropriate boundaries and communicating to your family. And you know what, sometimes conversation aren't fun. Sometimes they're difficult, but.

00:30:02
Speaker 3: That does not fun.

00:30:04
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you don't have to have them, so good luck. Let us know what happens. I'm sure you love being an auntie, but.

00:30:10
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean I'm not like you love her any less by doing this. But you need to set your sister down and just say I think you're taking advantage of me. What is your sister doing that she needs you to babysit three times a week?

00:30:25
Speaker 2: See see, Susan, you are a very different person than I in that way. And then we're going to move on to my favorite game. It's not She doesn't owe her sister an explanation. Sorry. All you have to do, Lily is say I can't do this. Next Friday is my last day. I love you, and I love my niece or nephew whatever, but I'm not going to be able to do it. Why not because I am not prepared to do it any longer. You don't owe any one anymore of an ex so you don't have to say, you know, why don't you get a nanny and pay for it? What you don't have to do that, Keep it simple, keep it calm. Sometime, I said at the beginning, it's hard to communicate these tough things. Set the boundaries slowly, and hopefully this will help you to set boundaries in other parts of your life. Let us know what happens. We were rooting for you, Okay, Susan, I want to play a game. It's called icky or picky. Okay, okay, so we're okay, we're gonna switch off, go.

00:31:43
Speaker 1: Reading things that girls consider x or we both say if we do think it's an eck or if they're being too picky, and if it's it's not really.

00:31:54
Speaker 3: A big deal.

00:31:55
Speaker 2: So you and I can never be too picky. Just say all right, all right, ready, all right. You know I know because I have kids that use this term all the time. But for any of you listening who don't know, an ick is something that makes you suddenly lose interest or attraction towards someone. Sometimes they're lighthearted and just a temporary ick moment, but others can wind up totally killing the vibe.

00:32:23
Speaker 1: All right, is it icky or picky? If he runs with a backpack on could care less? It's picky, it's picky.

00:32:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a picky eater. Yah, that's a dix for me. Yeah, No, that's icky for me. Oh yeah, that guy that I dated for a short period of time he only ates certain foods and at certain times of the day. That if that's what we mean by a picky eater, that gives me the ick. If by being a picky but if being a picky eater means he doesn't like art of jokes, then it's fine. All right.

00:33:01
Speaker 1: How about when you ask what he's what his favorite show is? He replies with, I don't really watch TV.

00:33:09
Speaker 2: Are we being honest?

00:33:11
Speaker 3: We're being honest.

00:33:12
Speaker 2: That'd be ikey for me. You think it's picky, Yeah, I don't really. So the next time you have a guy over that you're dating and you want to scrawl up and watch a movie and he says, sorry, I don't really watch TV, that's not going to give.

00:33:27
Speaker 1: You the He he asked what his favorite show, it's not watching a movie. I'm looking at what's your favorite show? And he goes, I don't really watch TV. That doesn't necessarily mean he won't watch a movie.

00:33:39
Speaker 2: Okay, you're being picky on this, Ikey, picky, picky do no, not all right? He doesn't wear socks with his shoes.

00:33:49
Speaker 3: Picky, Definitely. I think that's cool.

00:33:53
Speaker 2: You know who doesn't wear socks with his shoes in his photo shoot? Guy?

00:33:58
Speaker 3: Guy? I don't either. A lot of times I don't know. He only wears his hats backwards. We can't be talking about right.

00:34:08
Speaker 2: Yeah. He plays the air guitar when he dances. Listen, if I get a guy to dance with me, I don't care if these dancing and sneakers.

00:34:17
Speaker 3: He's getting into the sound. It's not every song.

00:34:20
Speaker 2: He's grooving and moving.

00:34:22
Speaker 3: Yea, all right? He uses a three and one soap. Oh he's such a man. I'm just not sharing the soap. That's big, and you.

00:34:32
Speaker 2: Know what, I want to know what the three in one are. But let's not go there, all right. Let's see. Oh, he plays guitar and he's really bad at it. Ky, that's kind of icky. Can I just tell you though, my son in law and I can say this because I don't think he's gonna listen to this podcast. My son in law loves the Beatles, and I was babysitting this weekend and he was, uh, they were get ready to go out, and he was making us all breakfast. He loves the Beatles. He was playing. He plays Beatles songs for my granddaughter and he sings with them. Oh, Susan, it is when I tell you tone deaf my daughter. Let me just say his wife has perfect pitch, she's saying in her In her college glee club, she was the pitch fork. They didn't need a you know, uh, they would just say, Caitlin, give us a seat, give us Oh my god, I'm listening going this, My grandchildren are either going to, you know, have careers on stage, or they are going people are going to be walking out. Okay, go ahead, all right.

00:35:37
Speaker 1: He vapes a lot, and it's always flavors like watermelon ice.

00:35:42
Speaker 3: Oh I like watermelon ice.

00:35:44
Speaker 2: See you vape to me, I won't date the guy who vapes. So for me, no, it's not icky, it's lights out for me.

00:35:54
Speaker 3: That's not a choice. It's ikey or picky. Follow the rules of the games.

00:36:00
Speaker 2: Look who's talking. She couldn't figure out moral quandaries, so we had to come up with three games. Okay, whatever, all right? He uses Snapchat and asks you for yours. I don't know any adult anymore. He uses Snapchat, do you?

00:36:15
Speaker 1: That's all my kids use, young kids not our son is not our age, but it's my son. I mean thirty six, that's all they use. That's maybe picky.

00:36:26
Speaker 2: That's some feeling. Who cares? He calls women females. That's just picky, picky. He's a bad tipper.

00:36:35
Speaker 1: Wait, he uses a ton of emojis when he texts now in the beginning, I would.

00:36:41
Speaker 3: Think, okay, it's picky, but it's not icky.

00:36:44
Speaker 2: It's just picky. He's a bad tipper. I'm breaking the rules again. I'm out. I'm out, You're out. It's a red flag. And we just broke up, all right.

00:36:56
Speaker 1: His Instagram following list is ninety eight percent Instagram models.

00:37:04
Speaker 2: That's also we just broke up. That's way beyond it.

00:37:09
Speaker 1: Okay, he has a ton of pictures with fish.

00:37:13
Speaker 2: I'm breaking up with guys fast and furious hair. I'm out.

00:37:17
Speaker 1: Wait, are these questions that somebody that's a potential date or just somebody in general, Like.

00:37:24
Speaker 3: He's a fisherman that he likes to fish.

00:37:26
Speaker 2: That's I don't care. I don't want to look at it now. Okay. He excessively identifies with his Harry Potter house Dicky.

00:37:39
Speaker 3: I say no more. Okay.

00:37:40
Speaker 1: His mood is entirely dependent on how well his football team does, even if.

00:37:47
Speaker 3: He doesn't have money on the game.

00:37:51
Speaker 2: I mean, it's ike Yeah, it's about Ikey for ten seconds. Then it's just who cares. He speaks to you and baby top Oh, Susan, I know you. That was Kathy talking to you with baby dot.

00:38:08
Speaker 3: That was just maybe once to try to be funny.

00:38:10
Speaker 2: But yeah, okay, okay.

00:38:14
Speaker 3: He thinks reading fiction books is a waste of time.

00:38:18
Speaker 2: That to me, my well, I read a ton of fiction. My husband read mostly biographies, so I think that's really Picky read as long as as long as he reads, as long as he's reading and it's not staring at pictures of naked women, I'm good, all right. Listens to podcasts, particularly Golden Hour on Bachelor Happy Hours, get them my red reds.

00:38:46
Speaker 3: No.

00:38:47
Speaker 2: Listen to podcasts on how to be an Alpha male. Oh oh see there's Icky, Picky, and then there's ew and then there's you're out the door.

00:38:59
Speaker 1: Oh god, he cries if you call him out when he's in the roll, he cries.

00:39:05
Speaker 2: Well, men can cry.

00:39:06
Speaker 3: I like the man that cries. I like a man that could cry. I really do. But when you call him out and he's wrong, he cry.

00:39:12
Speaker 2: And you know why is crying, Susan, when you call him out? How good you slapped him? You slapped him?

00:39:17
Speaker 1: So I don't hit No, no, no, don't ever say that I would never hit you.

00:39:22
Speaker 2: Cat. Well, I'm never wrong. I'm never wrong.

00:39:27
Speaker 3: So yeah, well this is true. Wowkey and picky and.

00:39:33
Speaker 2: Have icky picky oo? And what was I thinking when I accepted a date with this guy? Or I never want you to darken my doorway again? I mean, okay, it's very fluid. You and I have a very fluid spectrum.

00:39:48
Speaker 1: But we can start with telling you what you know what, Kathy, would I really wish and people out there listening, I.

00:39:54
Speaker 3: Bet you wish it to either for yourselves or for.

00:39:57
Speaker 1: Us, that we had somebody to talk about out whether he's well.

00:40:02
Speaker 2: Here's no, here's the thing. Here's the thing for all you listeners. Susan and I we joke around. We have been a date. We both have had dates, but we're both speaking of Hicky and Picky. We both are looking. We are both Picky, and we're looking for the guy that we want to spend this last great chapter with. And so we'll have a date with a guy a couple of dates. Rumor has it that Susan has a date tonight. Well, we'll be asking her how it goes. You know, it's a first date. Maybe it'll go well, maybe it won't. It's a second Oh, you're right, it's oh, it's a second day. Whoa what happens on the second day?

00:40:42
Speaker 3: Nothing made me kiss him? But that's it.

00:40:44
Speaker 2: Susan loves because she's always telling me I want a man who knows how to make out.

00:40:48
Speaker 3: I mean, and if you can't make out, just keep on going.

00:40:52
Speaker 2: Susan doesn't care he lives in a tent under the bridge.

00:40:55
Speaker 1: I do, no, I do, no, yes, I I can't want to. They live on the boat. I care if they live on the bridge.

00:41:03
Speaker 2: Wait, what's wrong with on my boats? What's wrong with living on a boat?

00:41:07
Speaker 3: No? I wasn't referring to a yacht, Kathy or.

00:41:09
Speaker 2: A house, but oh, okay, you know what I would kind of start. I want to gotcha, I would want to jump out of an airplane. That's one of my things. And I kind of like to live on a houseboat if I had a yeah.

00:41:21
Speaker 3: For a little bit, not permitted address, unless you really.

00:41:25
Speaker 2: How about a yacht in San Tropez?

00:41:28
Speaker 3: Okay, then we talk Yeah, never say.

00:41:31
Speaker 2: Susan, have you not learned yet?

00:41:32
Speaker 3: Never?

00:41:33
Speaker 2: Never say never? That's the title of this podcast. Never.

00:41:38
Speaker 1: This is going to wrap it up for this and we definitely want your opinion on Icky Picky and you. Thank you for joining us for this episode of Batchelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.

00:41:52
Speaker 2: Listen. If you didn't have fun today, you do not have a fun factor in you you. We really hope you enjoyed this. Please follow Bachelor Happy Hour and we have new episodes coming out all the time. Sometimes we have guests. Sometimes we're just auditioning our advice. Sometimes we're just giving you some insight into what Susan's and my life is really.

00:42:15
Speaker 1: Like yeah, really spill and we get a little bit each time.

00:42:20
Speaker 2: That's right, and you got it. Tune you next time because I promise you the first question I'm going to be asking Susan is I was your day how is your day?

00:42:28
Speaker 3: Okay?

00:42:29
Speaker 1: Hey, ladies and gentlemen, make sure you submit your questions to us, because without them, we have nothing to talk about. Now I shouldn't say that, because we have plenty to talk about, but we do like reading your questions, and you know how to do it.

00:42:41
Speaker 3: You can go to.

00:42:41
Speaker 1: Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour, or now you can dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:42:49
Speaker 2: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to podcasts till next time.

00:42:56
Speaker 1: Day warm through the rest of this winter because it's almost overweight Kathy, Real quick, did you notice the days are just a teeny tiny bit longer?

00:43:06
Speaker 2: There you go, we're heading towards the light. So we're heading towards the light. Have a great week. To see you next time.