Amanda Beard: The Making of a Four-Time Olympian

WHISP spoas right the voice of Women's Sword Hi and welcome to the fourth episode
of Behind the Blocks. I'm your host, two time Lympic swimmer Caitlin Sandino.
Make sure to follow us on social media at Caitlyn Sandino and at WHISP
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is with much joy and excitement to introduce today's guests. She was just fourteen
years old when she qualified for her first Olympic Games and walked away as the
second youngest swimmer in history to meddle with one gold and two silvers. That
was just the beginning to her very successful career in the pool and out.
She went on to make the next three Olympic Games, competing in a total
of four Olympics, where she earned seven Olympic medals, two golds for silver
and one bronze. She has collected a total of twenty one medals in major
international competitions. A former world an American record holder, ANTI two A champ,
received an American Swimmer of the Year award not once, but twice,
eight US national titles, and served as Team USA's Olympic swim team captain twice.
Not only did she shine in the water, she graced the pages of
countless sports and lifestyle magazines as a model, brand representative as well as a
nonprofit advisor. Now a mother to life, motivational speaker, businesswoman, and
author of a New York Times bestseller in the Water they Can't See You Cry,
And not to mention co founder of beard Swim Co Everybody, the one
and only Amanda Bearda. Amanda, thank you so much for taking time out
of your busy schedule to join me on behind the Blocks. But of course
I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. Caitlin. Love getting to
hang out with you. I know, so mean and I go way back
from basically our towns what neighbored each other, so unfortunately, fortunately I would
have to race you from time to time. Oh that was the best though,
because we grew up competing against each other in high school. So it
was you know, everyone probably thinks that's pretty like extreme and bizarre, two
Olympians racing each other in high school, but they're all these Olympians in southern
California racing each other, you know, seriously, but it would be fun
because it was it was like, I feel like we weren't really competitive,
like we weren't really always like had to face each other. We had like
one event that sometimes we raced otherwise, so it was like more of a
lighthearted fun to be able to be like, oh, I'll get you,
And the only thing I could swim on the im that I could kind of
compete against you with was the breaststrokellect So everything else you could totally kick my
butt on. But yeah, fun stuff. Remember your dad used to be
like, oh my gosh, they're dancing behind the blocks together. Again.
We're so so serious, so serious, very very serious. But I I'll
never forget though, Manda, is that you know, I wasn't like really
huge into swimming at a young age. But I don't even really remember watching
the Olympics. But when you competed in nineteen ninety six and I saw you
on TV and I was like, whoa, Like she's only a year older
than me, she's fourteen years old and she's racing in the Olympics. Like
that absolutely blew me away. And I don't think I've even ever asked you
this, like as your friend, Like what was that like for you?
Like being that young and being on that stage? What was that like?
So I try to answer that question all the time, and it's a hard
one for me, just because I can't remember things that well from that age.
It's kind of like I was just so young that everything is just a
lot of my memories are from other people telling me stories. But I do
remember really trying to figure out how I fit into the swimming world. At
that age. I was really tiny, I was extremely I was still very
immature and naive. I didn't really I didn't have the same maturity level as
the girls that were fifteen and sixteen on the team. The twenty year olds
were. I mean, I'm like the little sister, the annoying little sister
who wants to hang out with me. So I found myself like really kind
of meshing the best with the oldest people on the team, who then kind
of treated me like I was like like a child to them and trying to
help me. But it was it was overwhelming, yet not just because I
think I was too young to understand what I was doing. I was just
kind of like, yeah, Olympics, this is fun. Coolde. I
know you said you don't have like like really vivid memories, and I'm kind
of the same way. But what would you say, sant stands out the
most from your first games? Well, I think, you know, I
have all these like little clips that kind of pop into my memory, you
know, like things like the Olympic village, and staying in there, and
I just actually was going through a bunch of photographs and I photographed everything,
like I thought everything was amazing, Like there was a wall in our like
dorm rooms that were just cases of water and I had to photograph that.
Whoa, look at all this water and then look, someone put a decorated
sign on my door. That's amazing. Take a picture of that. You
know, like everything was like but it was all such small things, like
I wasn't what didn't have to be these big amazing things to like make me
think that this was such a cool moment. I was like, oh my
gosh, I got a cabbage catch cabbage Catch kid for free. This is
so amazing, you know, like wait a second, there's much bigger things
going on, but I was pumped on the cases of water we got for
free. I just think that this is so it's very refreshing. It's like,
look that's that shows a fourteen year old right, Like it's almost like
quote unquote cute, Like that's so cute of you. I think I know
this, and I know you get asked this a ton, but I'd be
remissed to ask. Obviously, the iconic Teddy Bear what was the significance behind
that? And where is the teddy bear? Now? Oh, the teddy
bear is actually sitting like twenty feet away from me, and it's like in
a plastic like case, so it doesn't my dad has it all like preserved.
But um, it's actually a really cool story. Before I went to
the nineteen ninety six Olympic Trials, it was given to me as a gift,
a good luck gift, and was a teddy bear and had a matching
parka like the parka I would be wearing. But but the person who gave
it to me, her name was Danielle and she actually is Jason Lezak's wife.
Now stop it. I did not know that. Oh my god,
I know. So. I mean, we're all we're swinging on a team
together. And I was good friends with Danielle and her mom made the parka
for the bear and they gave it to me as a as a present,
and it was kind of at trials. It was more of a dare from
my sisters to take it out to the blocks with me, just because I
was getting a lot of attention for being so young, and I looked even
younger than I was, so I was like the punk, little fourteen year
old. Yeah, I'll take it out to the blocks with me. I'll
show them and I carry it out. And then the Teddy Bear became its
own little like a celebrity going everywhere. But that's I thought it was just
cool because Jason Leezac obviously went on to win a bunch of medals and become
a great Olympic athlete himself and will always have that connection with him and his
family and his wife. So that's pretty cool. I can't believe for as
long as I've known you, and as well as I know Jason and Danielle,
I didn't know that. I love that. And could you imagine,
like if social media existed while this is happening, I feel like the Teddy
Bear would have had its own like Instagram page, you know, it was
that famous. It would have for sure more followers than I would ever have.
It's way more interesting than I am. Did you name him? Yes,
actually we named him Harold, so we call him Harry the Bear.
But so here's another really funny story about Harold the Bear. So I had
in high school, I hung out with all like the skater and surfer boys,
and they thought it'd be real fun to kidnap my bear. So they
kidnapped him. They took tons of polaroids, and they were sending these polaroids
to me of the poor bear in like these situa tions that basically looked like
the bear was not going to make it through the situation and kind of holding
him for ransom. And I I was getting so mad because I think I
had to send it to like New York for a photoshoot. I'm like,
I'm serious, you guys, please give it back. I need the bear.
Don't mess with him. See literally, this bear is iconic. I
love it. Now. Wait, were you going into your sophomore year of
high school? Yes? Yeah, okay, going into your sophomore year of
high school. So you get back after the ninety six Olympics. What is
high school like that sophomore year? Honestly, sort of strange to start off,
and then it kind of just went back into normal. I hate at
that age, especially not I've gotten better at it, but I hated attention
and like large crowds and stuff like that. So the very first day of
my sophomore year in high school, my principle actually arranged for a Bentley to
come pick me up like a really old Bentley to then drop me off at
the front of school with the whole school and news cameras and stuff in front
of the school. And I went to school. I had three thousand kids.
It was a giant amount of kids. Yeah, and everyone. So
I just started bawling my eyes out, and I think they started to realize
really quickly, like, Okay, maybe we shouldn't do this to this poor
child. But I try it, Like I credit myself for being really great,
Like I pretended. I wasn't crying over the whole situation. I was
just overwhelmed with emotion by how it was so faithful. Thank you so much
everybody. But I was embarrassed. I'm a sophomore. I'm not a senior.
I'm not like the big you know, dog on campus or anything like
that. I'm like the pit squeak. And so just let me blend in.
Let me blend. Now. Were you still fired up on swimming or
did you have that kind of post Olympic blues or don't. I don't know
if I want to do this. There were you mentally and what motivated you?
Because obviously you go on to compete in many more Olympic Games. But
that's a big span, Like, what were you like, motivation wife in
the sport, you're the rest of high school. Yeah, So I think
that two to three years after the ninety six Olympics were probably some of my
hardest, like mentally and physically years of my swimming career for a couple of
reasons. One, before the ninety six Olympics, I was tiny. I
was five foot two. I think I was like ninety ninety five pounds.
And then I went through puberty. I grew to five foot eight, I
went to like one hundred twenty five, one hundred and thirty pounds, And
you know, as a swimmer or two like that's you basically are now retraining
yourself to swim in the water because you've lost your feeling. You feel very
different, You're carrying extra weight, and swimming is a feeling based sport.
If you don't feel good in the water, it's really hard to just kind
of muscle your way through it and just kind of just continue to push yourself.
So I for about two or three years, that's how I felt,
is I grew so much. I felt really awkward in the water. I
felt like I was supposed to always be winning, always, you know,
performing and being on the stage and showing people like an Olympic performance. They
would come to swim meats they want to see something great, and I wasn't
giving that to them because I just I felt awful in the pool. You
know. I was still swimming fine, I was okay, but it wasn't
to the level of I think I felt like I should be at and what
I felt like I deserved to show people I could be at, you know,
where I you know, I should be winning first places. I was
getting you know, sixteenth or whatever. And that was really hard for me
mentally just to kind of to go through that, and I just got completely
sick of it, you know, and I was just like, this isn't
fun anymore. I hate this. Um So I did quit swimming for a
while, but I didn't know that. Yeah, well, I think I
was about a junior in high school. I quit. I just I was
going through a lot. I broke my wrist, and I was frustrated with
my performance. I was just like overwhelmed. I struggle like in school.
So I was very overwhelmed with school and trying to keep my grades up and
just feeling like, I think the typical high schooler with just drama with high
school and feeling like I was socially missing out on sayings because you know,
we train, that's all we do. So I just I just met my
max that I could handle for being a teenager, and I quit, but
quickly realized that that without swimming in my life, I was extremely bored,
and finally, you know, found my way back too well. I we
quit for a couple of months and found my way back quickly and rediscovered my
love pretty quickly for it and changed how I looked at it as less of
just like performing and more just hanging out with my friends. Like we had
a great a team. I loved my coach, you know, like I
trained with Aaron Pearsoul and Jason Least. I mean I had like we were
goofy. We were so goofy, and we had so much fun and we
were super competitive, Like it was just a great environment. And so I
really focused on the people that were around me and less on just like me
and my performance, which helped me a lot. Right, I really appreciate
you being so open and honest about that, because I feel like people look
at athletes with success at a young age and like lucky then, like how
great it must be, and you know it's a double edged sword, right,
It's like, yeah, this is great to have success at a young
age, but you're walking around the target at you on your back at such
a young age, and then it puts all this pressure on you when you're
just trying to be high schooler, which is hard enough as it is.
And so I just think it's it's really important that you know that young audience
or you know, parents listening to this know that yeah, it's great and
all, but it's not always the best to hurry to success, right.
I mean not like you probably begrudge going to that or whatnot, but there
there's definitely the draw the drawbacks as well. So thank you just for being
so open and honest, and I just think, you know, it makes
it a little bit more relatable, you know, when we can be that
organic with everybody and and say you know, it was hard, It wasn't
easy, and it does suck walking around being famous essentially at a young age,
and it's just all that pressure. How do you feel your parents did
with you having success at a young age, because I think, you know,
we can't forget about them too. It's a lot on them. It
is a lot. And now, you know, I have my own kids,
so I get to kind of experience that my son amazing baseball player.
So I'm trying to almost mimic how my parents were with me as as how
I'm trying to treat him. And my parents were amazing. You know,
my mom could care less about sports, so she just was like, I
think our parents are fairly similar to Caitlin. But my mom was just like,
Oh, you're so cute, looking great out there. I'm like,
Mom, I lost, I gave I added twenty seconds in a fifty No,
Mom. But and then my dad is you know, he's a he's
athletic, he played sports through college. He loves it. He was at
every practice watching and super into it. But it never felt like I was
getting pressure from him, Like it just felt like support from him. Never
because when we walked away from the swimming pool, it wasn't like, Okay,
how do you feel about that practice and how were your splits on this?
And we didn't sit around the dinner table and talk about swimming. And
I think that was really important because my parents didn't make my whole idea as
being a swimmer. You know, I existed to them on such a bigger
level, and everything else mattered to them about me just as much as my
swimming. So I felt like they just did a wonderful job of just being
there for the things that I needed, getting to practices, making sure that
I'm getting the food that I need, you know, like basically getting completely
spoiled, like dry towels, all that kind of stuff. Um, but
not like the nit the nit whatever you call that, like just kind of
nagging about, oh, you didn't do this well enough and this didn't look
right one. I think because my dad, if you ever watching swimmer cool,
he knows he's not going to give advice, you know. So I
always joke like with my my son's like baseball coaches and like, hey,
you're the coach, Like I know sports, love sports, But for me
to tell my son how to hold a baseball back, no, thank you.
I'm just I'm mom. I'm mom in the stands and I've got I've
got granola bars and lots of drinks for everybody. That's so perfect. I
think that's what we need to keep promoting, is that coaches, coach and
parents parent, and I just you know, like our involvement because you know
a funny story, Amanda and I is niece and nephew are actually on the
same swim team now in southern California. And I know, right, I
just love it, like wearing a beard cat cat Like, how cute is
that you see it? Like parents kind of having this you know, this
terrible almost like stereotype that they ruin youth sports. But if they would just
be more concerned about parenting and just loving their child, that's how they're gonna
most help them succeed in the pool. So it's so refreshing to hear that
was what your parents are like obviously I already knew that before our listeners out
there. I just I can't stress enough just just encouraging your child with just
just unconditional love because as a man has shared and I shared, like,
then you have no fear of failure, right because you don't feel like you're
gonna let your parents down. Yeah, well I'm sure too. You know,
like you see all the time, like you know, people jumping team
to team to team in all sports, right, like, well, this
isn't working. This is a coach you know, and they jumped to the
next thing like, I, you're not gonna there's always going to be something
wrong. You're not going to always agree with how a coach coaches or this
or that, so you just got to kind of I always said I was
only successful in my sport because I one hundred percent respected my coach, and
I made sure that they knew that right, and it had to not just
come for me, but had to come from my family and my parents as
well, like we respect you, we understand like and Dave Salo was my
coach from a very young age, and when he first kind of jumped on
the scene, everyone had something to say about how he coached and how he
trained as athletes. So it would have been really easy for us my parents
be like, we're jumping ship, We're gonna go over here because this is
how this is supposed to be. But my parents saw that I was having
fun and enjoying the process and being there. And the grass is not always
greener on the other side. You can't just jump keep jumping around. But
yeah, I mean, you get enough as a young athlete. You have
enough stress put on you from your peers, your coach, everything around you.
The last thing that you need to do is have a home where you
continue to feel that that stress and pressure. So I always felt like that
needs to be your safe haven where how you performed and you know what sports
were like, what didn't exist within your household? Right, absolutely, Well,
so then so you take a little bit of a break, but you
get back into the groom about junior year, senior roles around, and then
you have to be probably the top recruit in the nation. How did you
decide on the University of Arizona and what was that transition to college like for
you? Well, well, that's a great question. Yes, I will.
I was pretty picky, to be honest, and I was, you
know, southern California girl. I was like, I'm not going I'm staying
in California. That it so, I think most other colleges, you know,
I had a couple East Coast colleges and and some other places reached out
and I probably quickly, and you know, recruiting was different back then.
They didn't there wasn't so many ways to get in contact with you, so
you know, they'd have to call your home phone. So so that actually
was quite nice. But I only ended up taking three recruiting trips. You're
allowed to take five, so I took three. I went to cal Berkeley,
UCLA, and the University of Arizona. I loved them all. It
was funny though, because my University of Arizona recruiting trip, it was Halloween
weekend, which is also my birthday weekend. And I told the coach,
who was Frank Bush at the time, I said, Okay, I'll come
out this weekend, but I'm leaving early, like I cut my recruiting trip
early, and so it was a shorter trip, and he was it kind
of made him worried that I was not very serious about that trip. And
when I was out there, as I didn't talk to anybody, and I
was extremely shy, which I can be, and when I'm not like around
a lot of people that I know, I get kind of become an introvert
to some sorts. And so when I left that recruiting trip, I remember
Frank telling the whole team, Nope, she's not coming here. I think
she hated it, so we'll just forget about that one. But he called
me that week after and I was talking to him on the phone and he
said, so, what did you think I said I had a blast.
I thought it was fantastic, and he was like, what you did?
And I was like, yeah, I thought I loved it. I loved
campus, I loved the athletics there, I loved the team, and I
said I'm gonna come and he's like, oh okay. So I verbally committed
over the phone and I hung up and I go in a living room where
my dad is I'm like, I'm going to Arizona and he's like wait,
what, Like, no conversations with my parents about it, nothing, I
just like, I basically went off of how I felt when I was there,
and I loved it, And I didn't really think I was going to
be a you have a girl go away from California, but it was.
It was probably. I mean, I feel like a perfect choice for me.
Well obviously because then you have a great freshman year and then you qualify
for your second Olympic team. Yeah that was fun. Yeah, right,
So this started off college really nicely. Now two thousand Olympics, you know,
we were teammates, obviously, so surreal to be in Australia where they
just absolutely just worship the sport. Really, what are your fondest memories from
the two thousand Games, me and you dancing to really horrible rap music,
and I remember everyone fighting over who their roommates were. But honestly, things
like that, like I remember, you know, yeah, swimming, all
that kind of stuff, But it's the fun moments, Like I lived I
my because you know, we lived in the Olympic Village in Sydney was a
community basically, and so they transformed these houses into like a dormitory. So
I lived in half of a garage and so I was living in a garage
with and you know, the beds are not that comfortable, so tiny little
beds and you get a sheet because like your warmth. But you know,
walking around and you'll be like on the Olympic Village bus and you'll see,
like, you know, some basketball player who's seven feet tall sitting on the
bus next to you, and you're like going to the food court. So
things like that, getting lost in Australia, trying to figure out public transportation
there and just kind of trying to have fun with it all and going to
parties after the swimming competition it's over, and just everyone finally allowed to kind
of let their hair down and enjoy you know, yeah, I have some
fun after all the stress and pressure and being confined into tiny rooms for weeks
and weeks and weeks just training. But yeah, just yeah, honestly,
it's my One of my biggest memories from Sydney is I can't. It's like
that, you know the song I'm talking about too. I think it's like
I can't. I'm not gonna sing it because I'm embarrassed myself. But there
was one song that I swear we played over and over and over again and
just danced and completely silly with. So that's my biggest memory, and I
think that's what's so refreshing, Like that's what you're remembering. Like you didn't
even bring up a race or a metal or anything, and it's like you're
talking about, like you know, the memories and the teammates that you shared,
and I just you know, again, it's just like how you're raised
and what was important to you and something that correct me if I'm wrong.
I feel like this is kind of when your modeling career took off. Would
you say that in two thousand and four or two thousand, sorry, two
thousand going into right? Okay, So I hate that always, so embarrassing.
Come on, own it, but it should be. It was like
the first of our sports to see for me, which was so cool.
I never saw swimmers as models and then it's like, here you are doing
that and somebody I feel so like, I know so well, and I
just think it was it was inspiring. You know. We had a guest
on last week that talked about the stereotypical body images that we have for athletes
and that we're just trying to embrace it now. But I feel like you
were breaking that barrier years ago. But you were truly were kind of like
the only female swinger for quite some time to do that. I think it's
awesome own it. Own it. Well, okay, okay, well I
think I don't even know how all that kind of stuff happened, but I
ended up giving up my scholarship and my eligibility to compete in NC two as
after my sophomore years, so basically in in after we competed in NCY twoays
in two thousand. I can't remember she that's some one or something like that.
Yeah, so yeah, and uh, I just it was like kind
of one of those things where I was like, okay, now what and
um it, just I I always think I wasn't booked on things like to
shoot different stuff as like a model. I was booked on things because I
was a swimmer and the swimming that the things that I earned in the pool.
So that's how I always kind of looked at those things. And but
I mean, goodness, gracious, Like I had meltdowns on so many different
um sets where we are doing different photo shoots and stuff. I'd be in
the bathroom bawling my eyes out, just like so um insecure and nervous about
what, like you know, I'm gonna have a swimmer. I've like broad
shoulders, and like I have muscles and stuff. And they would bring other
models onto sets to to shoot other things and they're teeny tiny, and just
I felt I was always kind of comparing myself to them. So it was
always kind of this like emotional roller coaster for me doing all that stuff.
Looking back at it, I like, I wish I had a little more
fun with it. I think I just took it a little too seriously and
criticized myself too much about all that kind of stuff because now you know,
going through all the different magazines and stuff like that, I'm like, oh
my gosh, this is so hilarious, this is amazing, it's awesome,
and now I'm this wrinkled old mom. So I should I should have enjoyed
the moment a little bit more, and but I mean I did. I
absolutely had some fun moments, but I had some complete meltdown moments as well.
And why did you decide to go pro after two years at U of
A, which I think you're starting to see is a little bit more popular
for the higher rank swimmers, Like, Okay, I'm gonna get a little
bit of a college experience, but then I'm going to strike with the iron
tot and go pro. What was that training point for you? Well,
I think it was as as much of the thought out decision as it was
for me to go to the University bear Zona, where I just was like,
hey, let's do this. The person that I was dating at the
time was actually a professional athlete, and so kind of watching him and what
he was doing kind of encouraged me to to maybe try that as well.
And I felt like I was in a position where I did two years of
competing in college, so I knew exactly what I was giving up and sacrificing.
So I don't think I would ever have made that decision in high school
because I value those two years that I swam at you of A as part
of the team so much. But I just felt like it was the next
right moment in my career. It might have been a little premature because I
gave up my eligibility after learning a bronze medal out in Olympics. It wasn't
like I came home with ten goals and fifty world records, but I was
like, yeah, sure, but I just kind of wanted to go for
it. I just felt like it was something in the universe was telling me
that it was the right moment to go for it and do it, and
that was my decision. Now do you think you were more motivated after you
did that or did you kind of lack the motivation because you didn't have like
that college environment pushing you. What was your motivation like between two thousand and
two thousand and four, Well, it was lucky enough to be able to
continue to train at the University of Arizona, and we ended up having a
really big pro team that trained there, So to me, not a lot
change. I wasn't a part of the team. I didn't get to compete.
I did actually compete in dual meets because we'd have exhibition races things like
that, but I wasn't competing. I wasn't completely embedded in the team like
I was before. And I think it was an adjustment period for sure,
because now you have sponsors and contract to obligations and I'm trying to still be
a full time student, but I'm you know, missing so many classes,
and so it was definitely an adjustment period. It took me about a year
or so to kind of figure out my new groove of that. But now
it was you have a whole different world that kind of opens up to you.
I was going to a lot more meats around the world and competing more
internationally, which I thought was I mean, gosh, I got to go
fly all over I mean, just to go swim in a pool. That's
pretty darn cool. Let's do that. Like You're going to fly me to
Italy for a week to swim two races. Absolutely, I'll be there.
So it's just different, Like I mean, the life of a pro you're
almost like more grateful that you're, like, what you want me to do
that? For like a swim meet, Like, okay, it's this.
I think it's just different in America than it is in Europe, right,
it would just maybe celebrated a little bit differently, or the opportunities are obviously
a lot different. Um. But it's changing and it's it's evolving. Um.
Whenever I think of two thousand and four Olympic Games, Amanda and Athens,
Grace, like you're like in ninety percent of my memories, I just
oh no, but like amazing. So I want to touch on Athens.
I mean, you have so many Olympics to talk about. But first of
all, I mean, how cool to be like where it all started,
um, And remember like our rooming situation. What was it like one big
suite with four bedrooms and two in each room, so it was me and
Diana Munds and you and Meritzakoyah and then like one bathroom. Remember our bathroom
doors to always get stuck when we get like stuck inside the bathroom, like
guys, oh bathroom. Do you remember that? I talk about that bathroom
all the time because it was like I'm you know here, and we're swimmers,
so we have to shake down and so you have we have a tiny
bathroom and it's very like European style bathroom with like the drain in the middle,
and it's just andre We're shaving our entire bodies down and there's like ten
of us or something that needs to share this one tiny bathroom. And I'm
like, this is ridiculous. I'm gonna go out with a bucket and shave
my legs in a bucket in the Olympic village out and just wave to everybody
speed walking around. But everybody thinks the Olympic Village is so glamorous and it's
not that it's not. I mean, it's like an experience like no other,
but it's really not. You remember the small beds and like like you
said, like a like an apron thin sheet. Oh man, the guy's
legs to be hanging off the end of the beds. Yeah, they don't
even fit on their beds. But we, like I always I talk about
that too, and then I'm like, well, but we are also very
very spoiled as well as being American athletes, because we had all this staff
and all these managers and they're like, you guys are chilly, and they'd
run out and buy like all these comforters and sleeping bags for us like oh
my foot hurts, well, let me run out for you, you know,
like so well taken care of. Yeah, I mean kind of ridiculous,
like you you kind of hint that you need something and they're like,
we'll buy you fifty We were on it. But but but yes, it
wasn't like, um, you are not we are not staying in some luxurious
hotels and um, for for some people, it was probably an adjustments.
For some people, it's probably quite an upgrade, to be honest, from
there are other situations that they're in. So um, I mean free,
free food and um whatever you can kind of get at. But but that
darned bathroom always I always think about it and like, goodness, gracious,
and I loved too because you were sponsored by Red Bull and now remember you
just you had cases that they sent to you and red Bull in your room.
That's when I first got introduced to Red Bulls. Like thank you these
and no wonder I sim so well, but I hear everyone goes bad out.
What can you pinpoint, um, your most memorable moment from those games?
Oh my goodness, oh gracious, um, well, I thought I
thought it was really fun. Like I liked the Olympic Village in there.
I felt like we were like closer to other swimmers and athletes that we knew
weren't. There are a bunch of stray dogs running around too, and I
was just a really unique experience. Um. Like, I remember it wasn't
it wasn't finished, and I thought that was so cool. You know.
Of course they probably didn't think it was great that the Olympic Village wasn't finished,
but they're still, you know, paving sidewalks and doing landscaping, and
I just thought it was so so fun and interesting. And um, I
thought, just uh, we got to go out. It was me and
you and some other people, um, and like, uh we had entertainment
tonight or something following us around with TV cameras and we did like a pre
hangout with like a these amazing views of Athens, and then they followed us
to the club and it was like who are we right now? I just
remember, like, all right, yeah, this is cool, but I'm
like, what am I supposed to do? Like I don't dance. I'm
a swimmer, Like I'm asa sit awkwardly in the corner. It's exciting.
TV every time I ask you for Olympic memories, they have nothing to do
with swimming. I mean, but I just feel like, you know,
there's just always do many different types of athletes. You know, There's some
people that'd be like, oh, they'll give you a specific race and other
splits and other times, and then there's other people. I mean, I
don't know any of my times or splits. Caitlin, I have no idea.
I know I love it. But you were twenty two at that Olympic.
Yes, yes, yes, Okay. So then after you're done in
O four, did it ever cross your mind like it's been a good run,
I'm done, or was it always like all right, let's go well,
let's make two thousand and eight. I think it was kind of like
all right, let's go um. But things kind of picked up a lot
in my career outside of the pool, and I it was that was making
it really hard for me to train the way that you need to be able
to train to perform at that level. So I know that that was that
was tricky, and I think that's what kind of, you know, made
it a little bumpier over the next couple years. But I mean, not
that bumby. It was still fun and fine, but um but I you
know, I always kind of was like, well, well when I got
presented with certain opportunities, and I was like, well, if I don't,
I know, I'm gonna miss a couple of practices, But will I
ever get this opportunity again? So it's like trying to like weigh out like
the memories and experiences, you know, And I don't know, I just
kind of wanted to have fun too and not have every I wanted. I
was very serious about my swimming and I loved training, but um I wanted
to have a balance of my life as well, right, more to life
than to swimming, which he said, you know started from your parents,
right, so when they were raising you, you're going to be more than
more than just a swimmer. What years or like between which Olympics do you
think was the hardest for you to kind of like bounce back or get back
into the groove? Was it when you were younger when you got older?
Definitely? I think when I was younger, I think I just mostly because
like just emotionally I wasn't and like I wasn't as mentally tough when I was
younger. I was way more. I was a lot harder on myself when
I was younger, and um so, you know, I really cared a
lot about what every single person thought about me when I was younger. Whereas
I started to get older, I kind of wanted to be like live who
who lived the way life I should be and wanted to be and not really
the way that I felt like people told me that I was supposed to be
living my life. So when I was younger, I was just too fluence
by you know, in my peers. Mostly. Yeah, so you make
the two thousand and eight Olympic Games, you think you're like, I'm still
not done. I'm going to go for two thousand and twelve, go too.
I mean, I just like, your career is just incredible. I
just couldn't imagine for a staying at that high level for so long. You
go to trials in two thousand and twelve and you place fifth right in the
two yep rest and then where you like, Okay, this has been great,
I'm done. Or what was your head like at that moment when you're
like, Okay, this is the first time in twenty years I haven't made
an Olympic team. Yeah, how was that like to process and how was
that TRANSI well, I think after trials in two thousand and twelve, that
was emotionally hard for me. I've never the last time I watched in Olympics
on the TV from my home was nineteen ninety two when I was ten years
old, so it's like one of those. So I decided I'd be in
southern California with all my family. We watched on Olympics, but I was
focused on um, like my my nieces and hanging out with them and just
being a really good aunt and just kind of not completely focusing on what was
going on there because I didn't want to get into this, like I didn't
want to get super depressed because I wasn't there swimming as well. I wanted
to just um kind of just enjoy where I was in that that that day
and time. But I didn't feel like I was done after two thousand and
twelve. M But my son was born in two thousand and nine, and
then we a big one I forgot, geez, the big, big big
milestone calin research. So I had a lot of distractions and then we decided
to have another little shrimpy Um and my daughter was born in two thousand and
thirteen, so I had a lot of distractions. And after two thousand thirteen,
I was like, yeah, I'll swimming. Sure, why not,
I'll train. I'll try for twenty sixteen and I started to go back and
and swim. I was living up in Washington State. I was training up
here, and I just was like, um, I like being in the
pool and I like swimming and training, but I lost my complete edge,
like of what what I wanted. Like I just felt like what am I
What am I doing? What am I trying to prove? Like I felt
like there was you know, I trained for about six months and I was
like, I don't think I care. I don't think I care to do
do this anymore. You know, and my my husband and my kids sacrifice
a lot while I'm training. You know, I'm exhausted out of my mind,
and I'm hungry all the time, and I'm flying around places and competing
and I'm up early. You know, I'm just it's not I'm not the
easiest to be around when I'm when I'm in full training mode. And I
just was like, you know, I think it's time for me to reavow.
You wait, what I want in life, and I don't think it's
to try to prove something that I don't think I have to prove. So,
um, that's where we kind of reevaluate, like you know, changes
like our our path of what we wanted to kind of achieve and goals.
And because I always think you don't have to be an athlete to have goals.
You set goals and all sorts of your your life and what you want
to do. And um, so that's you know, kind of went went
down that path. So you were just ready for that new chapter. Absolutely.
I mean I can't believe I forgot that that he was born while you're
still training. I mean, that's just another accomplishment. And I can't even
wrap my head around. Like you said, it's it's it's a lot.
It's a full time job to be an athlete, and it's a full time
job to be a mom from what I see in here, and to be
able to juggle both of those for quite some time. And um, and
you met your husband at a photos shoot, correct, I did fun in
I love that. And so it's like the world's collided and everything was meant
to be. And you know, you started writing a new chapter with your
family. But then also speaking of chapters writing your book, what was that
like for you, because I mean you got really open and honest and like,
you know, people are like, oh wow, like she had she
had some high highs and some low lows. How long did that process take
you of writing the book and what was it that motivated you to do that.
I don't know. I mean you've you've written a book, so you
probably have your own experiences with this, but I thought it was like for
me, it was really hard. I had a friend, her name is
Karen Kraus, and she was a writer. You probably know her. She
wrote for the OC Register and then she's out for like the New York Times
or something. I mean, she's just she's a phenomenal writer at times.
Yeah, she followed my career and was always writing stuff. She flew out
to Tucson, Arizona, and stayed with me for about a week and we
were just sitting on my couch for like a week and just talk and I
was just telling her everything, like almost therapy session, and she's writing everything
down and recording stuff. She's like, this is a book. She's like
this, why are you not telling all this all of these things, and
I was like, I don't know, and it kind of uh. And
I we came we kind of planned it out together, and we talked a
lot about it, and I said, well, I really, if I'm
doing a book I'm doing, I'm gonna I'm gonna put it all out there,
like I'm not gonna kind of havel do it. I'm gonna like,
I sure I have medals and all these really cool things, but I have
fallen down in the like the dumpsters and been smushed on and the things that
I thought about my stuff and myself and the things I was doing to myself,
Like I was an emotional wreck a lot of the times. But I
still I came out on the other side, and I'm having a wonderful life.
And I wanted athletes to know that it is so normal to have awful
days, awful years. It doesn't determine how the rest of your life is
going to be, and you can make changes to become a better version of
yourself to have a more positive life and lifestyle. And I just you know
you do. I'm assuming you probably still do. Like where you speak to
a lot of younger athletes or go do clinics or whatever. And I felt
like I was, you know, telling these kids these stories and it was
all, yeah, Rainbow, Butterfly, you know, corn flew by,
and I was like, man, I'm just lying to them because it was
hard. There are hard moments, and no, I did not want to
wake up at four am in the mornings and jump in a freezing cold pool
of like. No, I wasn't like waking up and I like pumped every
single morning. So I wanted to just kind of have the real version of
my life I guess put out there just and I felt like that was the
way that I had to do it, if I was going to do it.
And then three years later and three writers later, we ended up with
the book Wow. And and how can people find your book and buy your
book today? I think you can go on Amazon and buy it. It's
called in the Water They Can't See You Cry, And what I have heard,
it's a fun read and a quick read. Good good. Well,
if you answer my next question without and even asking the question, you know,
I was going to ask you about swimmers that are struggling, But I
love your perspective and how you summarize that, like things can change and even
though it's going to be hard, you're going to see better days and you
just kind of kind of take ownership of that. And I think you know,
in this time when there's a lot of downtime right now, I think
getting your book would be excellent for a lot of our young athletes and parents
out there, just because I just I know you, and I just know
you have so much words of wisdom and experiences and you're so insightful. So
I encourage all of our listeners out there to go get Amanda's book if you
haven't already. Amanda, this is the finale of them all. The title
of the title of our podcast is behind the Blocks, and you and I
actually briefly touched on this earlier. But what were you like behind the blocks?
Well, I get that's a tricky question. Um hm. If I'm
the behind the blocks with you, I'm a complete goof honestly, And I
think you know this about me. I am not very good at being intimidating,
Like I am just way too much of a door to try to intimidate
people. But I do have that face if I am not smiling, I
look like I could hurt you. Um So I think behind the behind the
blocks, I'm However that person decides to interpret my face, um, so
they could be really scared of me. Um if I'm not smiling, or
if it's you know, people that I that I know. We get a
little too silly and probably almost have missed quite a few races, but those
are probably have been my best races. When I'm behind the blocks, I'm
having fun, I'm being silly, I'm relaxed and the and I to be
honest, I could I can't remember any sort of an outcome from any of
those races, but I do remember having fun with those people and those memories
behind the blocks, and I think that's what's actually ends up being important to
them. So I'm just a mixed bag behind those blocks. Oh my god,
Oh my friend, It's always so good to catch up with you.
I cannot thank you enough for I mean, I know the things are so
busy right now, and I can't thank you enough for taking the time for
sharing your amazing journey, your amazing journey with us. I'm just so proud
to know you and so grateful for everything that you did for me personally and
for sports. So thank you, Amanda. Oh absolutely, and I love
hearing your voice and seeing everything that you're doing because I think it's fantastic and
awesome. And I follow your whole entire career because it keeps on blossoming and
I love. Now. Thank you. Well, that's our show for this
week. I can't thank my wonderful guests Amanda Beard enough and to our sponsor,
Highlands Earache Drops. Visit them at Highlands dot com. Flash ear don't
forget to follow and share on social media at Caitlin Sandino and at Whisk Sports.
I'll be back in two weeks with multiple All American sprinter for the University
of Florida and now i FL Calicander standout Natalie Hines. So until then,
thanks for listening and helping us turn up the volume on women's sports.